Chapter 25

usagi draws back and props herself up on one elbow. He still has an arm draped loosely across her waist. He can feel his release seeping through the cloth still covering him and he would give anything, anything at all to be able to go back in time. He feels like he's taken liberties under false pretenses. Would she have let him touch her like that if she'd known? Force, he's angry with himself. Of course she'd think … he'd told her he'd never kissed anyone else. How could he have been so stupid? It all unfurls before him, how he'd told her there were no women in his bed, that the gifts were only for her, that he'd never cared for anyone else. All true, but he couldn't have created a more misleading set of statements had he tried.

He knows his prior behavior with women has been … odd. But he just didn't trust any of them enough to allow anything beyond the necessary contact. He didn't want to. He'd done everything he could to avoid the cage of devotion. Now he seeks—with single-minded obsession—to find a way to lock himself within it for a lifetime. He hadn't meant to deceive her. He'd been so careless with his words, never imagining her extremely logical conclusion. And now she thinks he's given this part of himself to her the way that she gave this first experience to him and he feels dirty. he draws in a shuddering breath, finally able to look her in the eyes. She begins to move further from him and he regretfully withdraws his arm. He's been touching her in one way or another for hours and he misses her immediately.

"But … you said you'd never kissed anyone. Were you lying?" asked usagi

"No, I wasn't lying. You truly are the first person I've kissed. You're the only one I ever want to kiss." Said kylo

"I don't … I don't understand. I think I have been pretty straight forward about my past . I think I deserve the same." Said usagi

"Kissing isn't necessary for other acts. And you deserve to know since you were kind to tell me yours." Said kylo

"I know that! I just … why would you want that with someone you didn't want to kiss?" asked usagi

"It was never like this," said kylo

"So you've … before. With another woman." Said usagi

"I never meant to make you believe otherwise. I didn't think. But I promise that the others-" said kylo

"Others? As in many? How … how many?" asked usagi

This is all spiraling horribly out of control and she just looks so damned hurt. He wishes she would get angry, but instead her eyes are huge and wounded. Atleast he knew she was with men who loved her and still loved her. Well besides endymion, his father and uncle, but this was not getting anywhere with not spilling. Loki told him to tell her and he didn't have the balls until now to spill his misdeeds.

"I don't … I honestly don't know." Said kylo

He hadn't partaken frequently, only indulging his baser side once he joined Snoke. He supposes there have been somewhere between 20 and 30. He'd preferred not to take the same woman twice. He's certain knowing the specifics would only hurt her; however, if she presses, he will tell her.

She only looks down and the most pathetic little. He's hated himself for as long as he can remember, but never so much as in this moment. She shakily pulls up her nightgown and each jerky movement tears at his heart. Then she turns away from him completely, lying on her side with her back to him. He's desperate to coax her to return to him.

"Please, please don't turn away. You are all that matters to me. I haven't touched anyone since I first heard about you. I promise." Pleaded kylo

He watches as she shrugs. She doesn't say anything and he's not sure if he should try to explain, tell her how much he loves her, and only her. How he's never felt another's skin, how profoundly different everything is with her. But he's afraid to make it worse. He sits up on his knees so that he can better see her, the sheet tangled around his waist. After an agonizingly long time he hears a slight murmur. Her voice is so quiet he can't make out what she's saying.

"Love, I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you." Said kylo

She turns slightly and he can just see her face in profile. He almost wishes he couldn't, she seems so diminished.

"I said, it doesn't matter, I had no claim on you. I just … I thought you were all mine." Said usagi

"I am! usagi, please. I have never been anyone's but yours. Sweetheart, please turn over, please come back. We must talk about this." Said kylo

She turns back away and draws her knees up to her chest. He just wants to soothe this hurt away, but she's made it clear she doesn't want him to touch her. grasping at the sheet to keep from reaching for her. finally she turns her head, looking at him over her shoulder. She blinks and nods once.

"You're right. We said we would talk." Said usagi

He's not sure he's ever been more relieved than when she turns over to again face him. Her expression is full of a kind of sadness he's not sure he's ever seen on her face before. There's no anger or malice, just a bleakness that leaves him hollow. Then she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she opens them again she seems more like herself and he's cautiously hopeful.

"So I'm the first person you've kissed but you've done everything else, then?" asked usagi

"Not exactly," said kylo

"What does that mean?" asked usagi

"I never … I never took off my mask … or my gloves. I preferred to touch them as little as possible." Said kylo

Kylo knew It sounds far more strange than he'd ever considered once he hears the words out loud. But he was being truthful about all of this. She was truthful with him. And her ex husbands came hid friends. Plus her children married three of his knights. So she been a big blessing here on the ship. On of her sailor scouts was married to hux.

"What, you just took them to be-" said usagi

"There was never a bed," said kylo

"You just bent them over and that was that?" asked usagi

"More or less." Said kylo

"Oh, just that I was worried to tell you before I came back to my normal form. I was kissed by a man before I knew of my former life." Said usagi

"What?" growled kylo

"Oh no, you don't get to tell me you've screwed you don't even know how many women and then get jealous because I've rolled around with one other man well more than one man but I was married to this fate is a fucked up thing." Hissed usagi

"What do you mean, 'rolled around'? yes I understand about the ex husbands." Said kylo

"Do you want details?" asked usagi

"Yes," hissed kylo

"Well, nothing so vivid as the images I now have seared into my brain, but there was a boy from Niima. We used to scavenge together and sometimes we'd hide away in an old wreck and kiss. A couple of times he got under my bindings. But he wanted more and I didn't. That was the end of that. Happy? Well I could give you images of me and my ex husbands but that would be cruel" said usagi

"What was his name?" asked kylo

kylo with deceptive calm. His nails dig into his palm as his hands ball into fists. Someone else had kissed those sweet lips, felt her perfect breasts. She was supposed to only be his! Well besides the ex husbands but that was besides the point. She married them because Pluto told her to it was fate played a cruel hand for her three lifetimes full.

"Yoryn.i don't want to wonder if what we just shared is as meaningless to you as they were," said usagi

"No! usagi, no! Please, I … I've never touched anyonethe way I touch you. I never let them touch me the way you do. That's why I was so overwhelmed when I first felt your skin against mine. Stars, I had no idea I could feel like that, the way you make me feel … I didn't wish to be so intimate, not until you. I didn't let them see my face! Don't you understand?" pleaded kylo

"But … I … why would they want that? I can't imagine wanting that," said usagi

"Certain women are attracted to power. I assure you, they got what they wanted." Said kylo

kylo remembers the last woman. He had just finished a mission and was in a dark cantina on Coruscant, wanting some relief. She had boldly put her hand on his chest and looked into where she presumed his eyes were behind his visor. No words had passed between them. He'd just taken her behind the establishment, made sure she was ready, flipped her around and took her while she held onto the wall. When he was done, he'd simply left her panting in the alleyway. Usagi is looking at her hands, they're twisting in the sheet over her knees. She lifts her head and tilts it slightly to the side.

"That's all it was then? Just … a transaction? Like trading for portions?" asked usagi

"Exactly like that." Said kylo

kylo got to come and they got to brag they'd had Kylo Ren's cock. Her face twists in revulsion but then it shifts into an ineffable sadness. She reaches out and cups his face and he doesn't understand what's going on. He just knows she's touching him again. He sighed in relief about her touching him. Her blue eyes showed kindness and love.

"You really were so lonely, weren't you? I was surrounded by sands, no one to reach out to. You were surrounded by people and didn't know how. Well until I came back to my normal form. Well you get the point. " said usagi

He returns his gaze to hers. Then she's so close and her arms are coming around him; he swiftly returns her embrace. She's back, oh she's back. She kisses his cheek and breathes into his ear, He lets out a shuddering breath. She says it's going to be alright. He hadn't even realized his heart had been hammering in his chest until he feels it slow. She draws back to look into his eyes.

"What is it?" asked kylo

"Just … you wouldn't … with another woman now, would you?" asked usagi

"What? No, Maker, no! Why would I? You're all that I want, you're all that I need. I love you. I promise, you, only you." Said kylo

"Good, because I'm very good with different powers I fight dirty." Hissed usagi

He barks out a surprised laugh and finally relaxes. He likes this possessive side of usagi. He settles back into her bed and hesitantly pulls her closer; she melts into his side. he holds her face and does as he's told. And he was a very happy man. He's has his beloved and shes just as progressive as he is. He sighed and knew they needed rest for the night so they could be rested in the morning. As they curled together and went to sleep.

Meanwhile a hour later

kylo eyes shoot open as he startles awake. Then he hears it, usagi is whimpering in her sleep. They're on their sides with her back to his chest and he's holding her close, her head resting on his bicep. Her hands are curling and uncurling and he hears another agonized moan.

"usagi?" cried kylo worriedly.

usagi distress is growing so he shakes her lightly but she's still not waking. He waves his hand and a low glow fills the room. He tries again to wake her, shaking harder this time and she jerks awake, calling out

"No!" cried usagi

"Love, what is it?" asked kylo

She clenches her eyes shut and shakes her head. He gathers her close, soothing his hands

She looks into his eyes and she seems lost. He tried his best to get her to calmed as she pushed the dream she had into his mind, it was the day when the filthy mother Luke had her reborn to leff her on jakku. She had bruises all over her and blood. But what's worst was that she didn't who she was at that time. Usagi was lock away inside someone of luke Skywalker making to fuck like a whore. And what made him sick was that Qree molested her at that age. Younger than he was, oh that a unlocked memory that she just remembered in her dreams, that sick fucker. He does not like hurting women but he will for this filthy bitch.

"Oh my darling. You know that she left you because of the spice. And what done to you was sick. Younger than I was when my father and uncle dud it to me. But as horrible as it is, the truth is that you weren't part of her decision. Most of all out of Luke Skywalker making. It wasn't your fault, there's nothing you could have done to change what happened to you. I'm sure you were a wonderful little girl." Said kylo

"I used to think that if I had only been better, sweeter, or prettier, then they wouldn't have left me." Said usagi

"No, no, none of that is true." Said kylo

"Doesn't change that I thought it for most of my life. Before I found out the truth at starkiller base after hitting the tree. Thank you by the way on that. " said usagi

"But it's not true, do you accept that now?" asked kylo

"I do know it's not true here, But it still feels true here. I wasn't enough. I'll never be enough. And now I wonder if … Luke made sure of that didn't what? No, nothing. It's silly." Said usagi

"Please tell me." Said kylo

"I … it's just that … what if one of them was … better. More … skilled. And then you'll wish you were wi-" said usagi

"Stop. No. I will never compare you to another. There is no comparison to be made." Said kylo

"But, I don't know anything when it comes to you" said usagi

"Did I seem to be complaining earlier when you made my eyes cross while I was chanting your name?" asked kylo

"No …" said usagi

"There is no way that I ever could consider what we share in the same light. It's simply impossible. Those others … it was never about who they were, I didn't care. I know that sounds heartless … because it was. That was the way I wanted it. But with you, sweetheart, I feel everything. I want you to touch me and I want to touch you. It's so very different. Do you see?" asked kylo

"I … I'm truly not sure. I think so? I think … I think it will just take some time. I have to adjust to knowing this. Does that make sense?" asked usagi

"Perfectly. Someday, soon, you'll know how special you are. I'll tell you all the time, every day until you believe me." Said kylo

"That could get really annoying." Grumbled usagi

"Well, then you'll have an incentive to start believing me, won't you? You are more than enough for me. I won't ever leave you, usagi. I will never abandon you. I will always choose you." Said kylo

She pulls him close and lays her head on his chest. She nods against him, tracing random patterns along his skin. He strokes her hair with one hand and holds her tightly with the other. Her hand eventually stops its movement across his body, then her breathing evens out and he kisses her crown. She sighs and soon she's asleep. The light dims again with another wave of his hand, but he doesn't fall back to sleep easily. He's concerned that usagi had been more shaken by his past than she'd let on. She'd had a nightmare about her abandonment and she's clearly feeling very insecure. He wonders if it would have been better had he never touched another woman, or have had a proper relationship. She seemed particularly disturbed by the impersonal nature of it, well, and his lack of knowledge of how many partners he's had.

At least he was able to give her one of his firsts, even as she will give him almost all of hers. He's surprised that the reminder of Yoryn Glant doesn't incite a jealous fury. Yes he felt that about her ex husbands but they got to know each other and understand each other and came friends. Instead he just feels sad that he wasn't her first kiss, but compared to his own history, it really would be horribly hypocritical of him be angry about it. He supposes this feeling, that he'd thought they'd shared that first kiss together, is a bit of how she must be feeling. How can he make her understand that there's only her? That what he's experiencing with her is entirely new? He wonders again if he somehow took advantage of her, if she would have made different choices if she'd known he is more experienced. He's going to have to talk with her about that, as well. He lays awake for a long time.

Meanwhile the following morning

They've been awake for an hour or so, both willfully ignoring the time as they lose themselves in the bliss of their connection. He's on his back and her head is on his chest as they trail their fingers over each other's skin. He knows he should talk to her more about the revelations of last night, but he doesn't want to spoil the luxurious energy they're building .

"You changed all of it. You wiped away whatever pale, shallow experiences I had the minute I laid eyes on you. I was in love before I even knew what hit me. Then what I had abhorred became what I craved. I want to share it all with you. My body, my mind, my heart. When I kissed you the first time, when I felt your perfect lips against mine, it was the most pleasurable thing I had ever experienced. Before that it had been when you kissed my cheek. Before that it had been when you held my hand. Do you sense a pattern? Honestly, holding you on Takodana stirred me more than any other woman ever had. But beyond that, beyond the physical, it is how I feel when you touch me. It's like your touch is a balm for my very soul. With each caress of your hands along me, with each kiss you grant me, you heal me. I know you don't know how you feel about me, but … when you touch me you make me feel more cared for than I ever have in my entire life. I am yours, usagi. Completely. I am branded by your touch and am irrevocably in love with you." Explained kylo

Usagi has quietly listened to everything he had to say, only reacting when he'd suggested something negative about … his mother. Now, she seems almost stunned. She says nothing and his stomach sinks when he sees a tear fall down her cheek. Then she's kissing him intensely and pulling him towards her. It takes just a moment for him to fully comprehend the shift. She's kissing him so passionately, she must have understood. He gathers her up, laying them both on her bed. She's on her back and he's above her and kissing her with equal fervor. He feels like she's trying to say something with her kisses and he can't discern it. She pulls back and her eyes are dark with something far deeper than lust. She reaches up with both hands and holds his face as her eyes search his.

"I'm yours, Kylo. I'm yours. Do you understand?" purred usagi

He stills, immediately perceiving the importance of that statement. She has denied this time and again from the moment he first told her that she was his. Across the lightyears she fought him, swearing she didn't belong to him. But now ... He descends on her lips, kissing her with such ferocity that her nails dig into his back. She's his, she's his, she's his. She's finally, truly his.

Pulling away, he rests his forehead on hers, panting heavily.

"Please, let me hear it again." Demanded kylo

"I'm yours." Purred usagi

"Yes, oh, Force yes." Purred kylo

Then he's again pressing his lips to hers, swirling their tongues together. Then the Bond opens and she floods him with her light. He gasps against her mouth and surrenders to the moment completely.

Now she's pulling back slightly, looking into his eyes. Out loud she says,

"Show me, show me again that you're mine, only mine." Purred kylo

"Like last night. Touch me …" pleaded usagi

He pulls down the straps of her nightgown as he lowers his face to her neck. As they got up and got ready. Kylo said he will be back tonight. He went to go get ready for the day since he was running late to the bridge. He thinks everyone will understand with the sound of nookie through out the ship, well other than the nights hux is kicked out nude. It seemed he has two gay men after him now. Its rather funny.

meanwhile four days later

It's been four days since everything nearly came crashing down from his carelessness. Kylo is in his office, attempting to get caught up on reports but mostly thinking about usagi. He's taken to removing his helmet when working alone, having grown used to being without it. they'd spent the night before last together again and usagi is becoming quite adept at making him incoherent with pleasure. He's trying to give her time between each visit, but he's not managed it yet. Thus far he's succumbed every day to his need to see her, knocking on her door to at least kiss her goodnight. Sometimes he's visited twice. But she hasn't seemed angry or frustrated, she only smiles and lets him in.

He'll see her again tomorrow and he's determined to prove that he can go a day without her, if only so she won't feel that he hadn't listened when she'd asked that he continue to give her space.

Everything is ready for her birthday, he just needs to make sure she's comfortable leaving the ship with him. He can't decide when to give her present; it's not something he can bring with them. He wants to reveal that it's her birthday once they reach their destination, however. Perhaps he'll simply give it to her without remarking on the occasion or wait until they return. He does have something else to give her while they're away. Kylo wants to ensure that he makes her birthday as perfect that he can. He put a great deal of thought into what she would like, how to show her he's listening, and he thinks his plan will please her.

He's wondering if he should also give her more jewelry when the Bond comes alive, abruptly commanding all of his attention. A tense spike of something strong blazes across their connection. He can't think through the storm of overwhelming emotion, it's too much to discern, but then he starts to sense confusion, bright joy, relief, and a strange ribbon of fear. Then the Bond is again silent. She clearly hadn't done that on purpose. She's feeling something intensely; the last time she'd lost control of the Bond had been when she was injured. She hadn't seemed hurt, but he can't help but worry for her. Kylo doesn't know what to do. Because she's been reaching out to him through the Bond more frequently, he tries not to push against her walls. But her feelings were so strong, he can't just ignore it. He's about to write her a message when the Bond opens and she sends,

"Kylo?" asked usagi

"Are you alright, what was that?" asked kylo

"I know we weren't planning on seeing each other tonight, but would you please join me for dinner?" asked usagi

She seems like she's focusing on staying calm and his concern increases. What's wrong? Why won't she just tell him?

"Would you like me to come now?" asked kylo

He's going to her no matter what she says, he decides—already standing from his desk.

She hesitates.

"Yes, please, if you can." Said usagi

"I'm on my way," he says as the Bond closes.

Once again, his helmet is left behind as he rushes to usagi chambers. He knocks on her door and she opens it before he's managed to finish the second rapping of his knuckles.

" usagi! What is it, what's wrong?" asked kylo

Her expression is the strangest mix of elation and fear that he's ever seen; it does nothing to allay his concerns. His eyes trace her form, finding her unharmed and in a simple tunic and leggings, her hair braided down her back.

"Come in, I'll explain." Said usagi

Her eyes are alight with a strange fire and his worry intensifies. Something significant has happened. She doesn't seem upset; in fact, if he had to guess he'd say she was overjoyed. However, she's not acting as she usually does so his senses are on alert. Before he has the opportunity to remove his gloves, she takes his hand and leads him to her take their usual places and he sheds them swiftly. She's practically vibrating with excitement and he's incredibly on edge. She angles herself towards him and catches his gaze. Her eyes transfix his with their intensity.

"Please, tell me," pleaded kylo

"I've been working with your holocrons. You said you've never opened them?" said usagi

"No ... I didn't want to revisit the time in my life when I was Jedi." Said kylo

He needs to touch her, she'd not given him the opportunity to kiss her. He wants to crush her to him, but he needs to know what's happened. There's an urgency in the air that's deeply unsettling. He takes both of her hands in his and her fingers instantly lace through his. At least the feel of her skin calms him somewhat.

"One of them is about Force Bonds! I've learned so much. I know what happened to us!

One of his holocrons was about Force Bonds? All this time the answers they've needed have been sitting in his room of treasures?" said usagi

"You've obviously learned something that pleases you," said kylo

The Bond is always a difficult subject for them and he's not sure if her obvious excitement bodes well for him or 's smiling widely and she squeezes his fingers.

"Oh, yes. It's wonderful! I've been hoping to know this from the very beginning. It explains everything. I know How they're formed, how to break them. I know what it all me …" said usagi

He can't understand anything she says after he hears that she knows how to break their Bond. She's still talking, her eyes are bright, but there's an odd rushing in his ears and the room feels like it's spinning. He thought it was unbreakable. She could … No. This can't be happening. His vision is swimming and he feels like he's completely unmoored. Even with her walls, he is always connected to her, she's always right there, woven throughout his being. She's his constant, the star by which he navigates his life. But she looks so happy and he understands—with soul deep terror—that she's going to break their Bond, his heart, his soul. Her perfect face is animated as she's explaining what he can only assume is the process for rending him in two.

His head is flooded with memories of the months of endless, agonizing searching. Her constant rejection. Every single time she'd denied the Bond. The hunger, the craving, the madness. The only thing that kept him from descending into lunacy was usagi faint energy, slight, but always threaded through his heart. He can already imagine the aching, bloody hole she'll leave where she once was. She'll have what she always wanted. She'll be free. Of him. Of the Bond, his reason, his purpose, his usagi. Gone. Broken. He shakes his head, trying to find his way through his confusion, but her voice fills his head. Usagi right in front of him but it's not this usagi voice he hears. Echoes of the past pull him down. usagi never wanted this. She'd told him over and over again that she wanted to be free of him. He remembers how she'd asked why they couldn't just block the Bond and forget it existed forget he existed. He can't, he can't, he can't. This will kill him, He staggers to his feet. He dimly feels usagi pulling at his hands as she stands with him, but he rips them away and beats at his head, trying to make the memories stop. He thinks he hears his name, but all there is a constant stream of her damning words.

"No, usagi, please," begs kylo

she asks in alarmed confusion, bending forward, reaching for him. She's giving him this last mercy before she destroys him. What the hell was going on, he didn't even let her tell him he's freaking out. Oh dear it reminds her of tamaki and draco when they are like this, he's stuck in a memory or memories.

"I'll do anything, anything. Please usagi, please." Cried kylo

Her expression twists from joyous to terrified and it just adds to his confusion. It's all so hazy. Isn't this what she wants, to cast him aside? Isn't she relieved? She'll finally be free of the creature in a mask. Now she's on her knees as well. Why is usagi on her knees? Nothing's making sense, he just has to convince her to keep him.

"Don't sever our Bond, please don't! I'll change! Anything, anything, please." Cried kylo

"What? No!" said usagi

"I promise, I'll leave you alone. You never have to touch me again, just don't break the Bond!" cried kylo

"Kylo, listen to me, I don't want to break the Bond! Look at me, look at me!" said usagi

Then her light floods him. Is she letting him feel it one last time? Can he stay here in this moment forever? Usagi was screams and finally, he sees her properly. Her eyes are wild and he blinks. He's upset usagi. He shouldn't have done that.

"I don't want to break the Bond!" cried usagi

"What?" asked kylo

"I don't want to break the Bond." Said usagi, She's stroking his face desperately and her eyes are panicked.

"You don't?" asked kylo

He doesn't understand. She'd said she knew how to break the Bond and he'd felt her joy spike. He knows she never wanted this, never wanted him. She only cared about him because of their connection. She says it often enough. She would never choose him. usagi pulls him close. He doesn't respond, he can't comprehend what's happening. Just like tamaki and draco.

"Please, come back to me. Please. I will never break the Bond." Said usagi

Her words partially penetrate the fog. usagi will never break the Bond? He's not about to lose his reason for living? usagi isn't leaving him? usagi sobs and he realizes that she's crying. Oh no, usagi mustn't cry. He wraps his arms around her and holds her as tightly as he can. They're both trembling.

"Shhh, shhh, I don't want to break the Bond," said usagi

usagi repeats as she strokes his back. Just like she showed vitok how to do with draco when he was in his fits. Finally, finally he truly hears her and his mind is beginning to return to him. Usagi is not going to break the Bond.

"I thought … oh usagi," cried kylo

"I know, I know, Never. I promise. Especially not now." Said usagi

Especially not now? He wants to ask her what she means, but he can't speak. He stays in her arms, holding her clasped to him, not sure he can ever let her go. Her light pulses through him, healing the ragged, torn places left by his anguished fear. After an age she starts to pull away and he shakes his head, refusing to release her. What if he doesn't get her back?

"Please, let's get off the floor." Said usagi

Kylo comprehends that they're kneeling in the middle of her sitting room and he's fully back in himself. He realizes that it happened again, he fell apart right in front of her. Oh Force, he debased himself at her feet. Weak, weak, weak. How could she ever love such a pitiful creature? He stands awkwardly, embarrassment flooding him. He's pathetic. Frail, feeble, fragile. Ben Organa lives still.

He helps her to her feet as she says,

"Stop, Kylo. You have no reason to be embarrassed. Really, I … I understand why you were so afraid. I know … I felt, I heard through our connection. I didn't … I didn't know how much I was hurting you when we were … apart. you've been hurt. It's alright to acknowledge when someone has hurt you. When I've hurt you. You aren't alone anymore. You'll never be alone again. Neither of us will." Said usagi

He's not ready to think about his months of searching, to acknowledge the cost, so he only nods. She takes his hand and pushes him down on her settee. Then she's kneeling in front of him. She starts to remove one of his boots. And tried to get him comfortable.

"What are you doing?" asked kylo

"Making you comfortable." Said usagi

"No, you shouldn't do that. Please, get up from the floor." Said kylo

"I'm already here," said usagi

Usagi says as she pulls his right boot from his foot. He continues to protest but she completely ignores him and finishes her task. Once done, she stands and makes him lie down on his side, with his back to the cushions. She joins him so that they're lying face to face and his arms automatically go around her. Perhaps her idea has some merit after all. Holding her like this is mending the jagged rips in his heart. Somehow, she knows precisely what he needs. She's helping him recover from thinking he was going to lose her in a way so painful … only her death would be worse.

usagi eyes hold his and there's nothing but welcome in their fathomless depths. Then she begins to touch him, running her fingers along his jaw, then his cheek. It's so sublimely healing, the way that she's lightly caressing him. It's as if she's knitting him back together with her delicate hands. His eyes slide shut as she strokes his face and he realizes how tired he is. The adrenaline is leaving his system and he's feeling a bit queasy. She still hasn't closed the Bond, and her light is so fine, so good. He'd never hoped to feel so blessed. It almost feels like forgiveness. She leans forward and presses her lips to his forehead and she murmurs,

"You must know how much you mean to me, how I … I'll never break the Bond. Never." Said usagi

"But it's possible." Said kylo

"Yes, it is, but I can't ... I can't imagine you no longer being there. I would have reacted the same way if I thought you wanted to sever it." Said usagi

"Never!" said kylo

"I know. I just wanted you to know that if I thought you were going to break this, leave me, I … it would destroy me." Said usagi

"I'll never abandon you. Ever. You are mine and I am yours," said kylo

kylo promises as he reaches behind her and begins to unbraid her hair. She smiles as she continues to run her hand over his body, a constant dance of reassurance. He almost has her hair free so he pulls her as close as he can and wraps a leg around her. He finishes his task and begins to card his fingers through her long waves.

"Yes … I do. For the first time in my life I think I know what it means to be loved. Well oth than the ex husbands in their own way." Said usagi

"I do, usagi, I love you more than I think anyone has ever loved anyone." Said kylo

usagu still not close enough so Kylo buries his face in her silver hair. Her arms go around his neck and they just hold each other. They're so intertwined that there's no space between them. Then she seeks his lips and they're kissing passionately, all of the fraught feelings given form. He pours all of his devotion into his kiss and soaks up the feeling of her in his arms, kissing him back. usagi wants him. Usagi cares for him. He has everything he's ever wanted right here, close and warm.

He strokes his fingers through her hair and runs his other hand along her back. He just needs to touch her, ensure that she's truly here. That she wants to be here. She delves her tongue into his mouth. He senses her surface feelings and that delicious warm, soft feeling he's never been able to name. Whatever it is, it alleviates the effects of his descent into mind numbing fear and he knows he's safe. Usagi isn't going to reject him. Their caresses turn languid and she's running her fingers through his hair. There is only solace and tenderness in usagi arms. Her kisses slow and she holds his face to hers, their cheeks touching. They both let out a long breath and settle further into each other. He lets himself drift in her light, accepting the comfort she offers.

Meanwhile a few hours later

Kylo not sure how long they've been sleeping when he opens his eyes. usagi is still breathing evenly and he lifts his head away to be able to see her. There are tried tear tracks on her cheeks and he tightens his arms around her. He detests that he'd frightened her, upset her, made her cry. He can't quite believe he'd broken down so utterly. He detests when this happens, the way he can't keep from spinning into that place with no control. At least he hadn't lost his temper, he supposes. usagi stirs and opens her eyes slowly. Her fingers clutch at him reflexively and she smiles then the Bond closes. He keeps the sadness from his face. He must be patient. One day she will simply leave it open … he hopes.

"Are you feeling better?" asked usagi

"yes, I am. I … I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to see me like that." Said kylo

"I wouldn't have it any other way; I can't bear the thought of you being alone when that happens." Said usagi

"It shouldn't happen at all! If I wasn't so wea-" said kylo

"Stop, We've both been through too much. You have so much inside you, so much pain. I've felt it, I know. I do too. You catch me when I fall, you hold me when I cry. Kylo, I'm just going to get a drink of water. I'll be right back." Said usagi

"Oh. Alright." Mumbled kylo

kylo reluctantly releases her. When she returns he's sitting up, waiting for her. She hands him a glass and he sips the cool water. Usagi takes her usual place by his side and snakes her arm through his, putting her head on his shoulder. He leans forward and puts the glass on the low table then pulls her into his arms. He's still feeling a bit lost from earlier and isn't sure he can ever be close enough to his love. Now that he's calm and she's put him back together, he realizes she wasn't able to tell him what she'd learned from the holocron.

"I still don't know what happened, why I felt so much from you through the Bond," said kylo

"Right, of course. I need to see your face," said usagi

kylo thinks for a moment and pulls her into his lap. She's sitting across his thighs and her arms go around his neck and his around her waist. She nods and looks into his eyes and is quiet. She holds his gaze for a long moment then an absolutely beautiful smile blooms on her face.

"They're real," said usagi

"I don't understand, what's real?" asked kylo

"Our feelings. They're real. It doesn't compel emotions. It just makes us need to communicate frequently over the Bond when we're far away from each other. If we're in physical proximity, it's satisfied. Everything I feel for you is real, is mine," said usagi

usagi says excitedly, tightening her arms around his neck. He's always known his feelings were his own, however what she's saying doesn't make sense. System after system, methodically searching the galaxy, needing to find her at all costs. And wondered where this was going, but he was happy to know he was with her and the bond is still there. She didn't want to leave him. As she climbed into his lap.

"So do I. But it's not the Bond. It's just ... us." Said usagi

His mind is swirling with this new information. He knows how she's struggled with her fear that the Bond was making her feel things she wouldn't otherwise feel, and the implications for her are significant. He's never believed he was being influenced, but she's used the Bond almost like a shield. She's hidden from him behind it.

"Spontaneous Bonds, like ours, are formed when two Force users are balanced ... suited. So soul mates. I asked a friend of mine marcus and he has bond sight and he helped me through it. My daughter Isabella is his soul mate." Said usagi

Soulmates? He's always known their connection was deeper than the Force Bonds he's read about. Everything he found had talked about bonds created between master and apprentice, and what he shares with usagi has always been so much more. But to have it confirmed this way, having Rey admit to it, relief fills his chest pushing away the lingering effects of his recent storm. She's said she was his, that he was hers, but this makes it undeniable. usagi will never be able to push him away, not after this revelation.

"There's more," said kylo

"The pull, it's us, our attraction. The Bond just gets wrapped around what we're ... feeling," said usagi finished awkwardly.

It takes a moment for what she's said to sink in. He's always known his feelings were real, but he'd assumed the overwhelming need was the Bond. But no ... it's simply his need for her. It's always only been usagi. Somehow, she becomes even more precious with this knowledge. kylo holds his hand near her face, feeling the energy between his fingers and her cheek, He presses his fingers against her skin. Touching her still makes warmth course through him. He's never grown used to it. He's not sure he could, it brings both peace and excitement in equal measure. Comfort and fire, connection and tension. It's the most profound feeling he's ever known.

"Well, I don't think it's just anything, but yes." Said usagi

"No, I didn't mean to minimize it. You know how much I-" said kylo

"Yes, I do." usagi

He strokes his thumb across her cheek and looks into her eyes. No wonder she'd lost control of the Bond with the enormity of this new awareness. It's a gift beyond his ability to comprehend … to understand—to finally know the exact nature of the Bond and everything it isn't.

"The Bond, it would have happened no matter what, wouldn't it?" asks kylo

"Yes. It was … fate, I suppose. I'm sure that going into each other's minds like that hastened it … but the moment we met, it must have begun to wind through us. They're exceptionally rare, there have only been four instances in the last thousand years and only a handful before that. The records weren't very well kept, apparently. It's why you're so powerful, why I can heal the way that I can. In theory, I'll grow the way you did, but in healing. Your dark … my light. Like I said, balanced." Said kylo

"I think … I think it was brewing before we met. The Force wanted me to find you, I'm sure of it. When … when I was first told about you, I had an overwhelming feeling that you were important. On Takodana, I was always looking for you, not that droid. So sad to say we have to that luke dick up his ass Skywalker for the bullshit. " said usagi

"I felt it too. I was pulled to the forest, I just had to get away from Maz's castle. I'd just had a Force vision where I saw I was confused I think at that time I was starting to coming back with to myself." Said usagi

"What? You never told me." Said kylo

"It terrified me. Well other than how disgusting and gross after what han did to me. Maz took pity on me she called me serenity. But at the time I didn't understand. But I had to run and somehow I felt like I needed to go to the forest. The Force … the Force always wanted us together and as well fate, didn't it?" said usagi

"what" asked kylo

"It's very annoying that you were right the whole time. By the way thank you for doing what you had done that day." Said usagi

"Well, if it's any consolation, I've found that you tend to be right about nearly everything else." Said kylo

"Don't forget it," chirped usagi

"I don't believe I ever could." Said kylo

Kylo leans forward and presses his lips to hers and she sighs into his mouth. They share a lazy kiss and he basks in the security of this new knowledge. usagi can't leave him now, not after this.

Then he remembers the tense fear he'd felt through the Bond when she'd first discovered the nature of their connection and he pulls back.

"You were afraid when you first realized your feelings are real. Please tell me why?" asked kylo

" You always find the worst possible interpretation of my words. It's just … I've been so confused, how I feel for you, it's so strong. Knowing that these feelings are mine, only mine, it was a lot to take in. I fought so hard not to feel this way ..." said usagi

kylo tries to tamp down the hurt that stabs through him at the reminder of how hard she had struggled to keep from accepting the now undeniable truth of their connection.

"I don't think you do. It made this easier for me when I thought I was compelled to feel as I do, before, when I was with Leia when I felt sorry for her cause and she tried to kill me."said usagi

"So caring for me, wanting me, you'd rather you were forced? Am I so repulsive to you?" snapped kylo

He stiffens and starts to push her from his lap; usagi sighed as she used kido on him and she tightens her arm around his neck and refuses to move. Her eyes are fierce and her expression stormy. While kylo gulped he was not able to move. Dammit she used that power called kido from the powers of the death gods but she showed others for.

"That's not what I meant! Dammit, Kylo I will release once I finished, please try not to think everything I say is designed to hurt you!" snapped usagi

kylo keeps his expression neutral. He's not sure he agrees that he's changed so much, if he even wants to have. He's never thought himself to be brutal, simply efficient. His goals require actions that are often harsh. He's certainly much more centered now that usagi is with him. He'd been holding onto his sanity by the thinnest of threads when he'd finally found her. Yes, he's attempted to minimize violence for usagi sake, but he won't change course, he will do what needs to be done. However, there is no reason to correct her assumptions at this point.

Choosing his words carefully,

"Being without you, it drove me nearly insane, I know that. I know how much I frightened you, and I wish I could go back and do it differently. And I certainly I wish I'd opened that holocron!" said kylo

"That might have helped a little." Said usagi

"Just a bit," said usagi

Usagi released kylo from her kido, as she back into his lap and leans her head against his, stroking his hair again. Oh how he loved it when it came down to her stroking his hair. But he was still ashamed to how he acted. But it made him so afraid to know that she saw something that could ended the special bond they share together. As he closed his eyes and giving himself over to the pleasure he was feeling.

"Have I told you how much I like it when you do that?" a sked kylo

"No, but I know. You're almost like a cat. Sometimes I think you'll start purring. But wont think about my two guardian cats right now" said usagi

"Perhaps I will, Oh sweetheart … you have no idea what you do to me. I never knew love like this existed, that I could be so consumed. That I would revel in the powerlessness. I love you, usagi, I love you." Said kylo

Usagi turns a bit so that she's facing him directly and moves her hand from his hair and brings up the other until she's holding his face. Her eyes are burning with intensity and he finds himself utterly caught in her gaze.

"There's something I need to tell you" said usagi

kylo feels a wave of apprehension, but the way that she's looking at him pushes it away.

Her eyes roam over his face and the softest smile he's ever seen pulls at her lips. Shes so beautiful. But he was wondering what she was trying to tell him, this day has been a wreck already. And after finding out the resistance is out to get her and the others. But lucky for them and usagi are trained fighters that he now knows and can be deadly.

"I think you know already. I hope you do … It's such a relief to know that my feelings are mine. Do you know what I'm trying to say? So here it goes. I love you kylo." Said usagi

"Y-you what?" asked kylo

"I love you," said usagi repeats, stronger now

The words caress him, weaving along months of longing and endless thirst. his fill with tears of joy. He thinks perhaps he should be embarrassed, but he can't find it in himself to be anything other than elated. She loves him. usagi loves him. She closes the distance between them, her lips nearly touching his, and she murmurs,

"I love you," said usagi

Usagi leaned in and kissed him. It's the most beautiful kiss he's ever experienced. Through the Bond she lets all of her feelings flow through him. This, this is what that warm and soft feeling was, all along it was there. But now her emotions are overpowering in their intensity. They're so pure, so good. He can't believe that anyone feels a fraction of this for him, and that it's usagi, his perfect, exquisite usagi …

his tears gathering in his lashes spill over and course down his cheeks. He never truly thought she would love him. He half expects to wake up and find this has all been the most transcendent dream he's ever dreamed. But it's real. Usagi loves him. Their lips are moving together and he pushes his own feelings towards her, how desperately he loves her. Their emotions course between them, building and twining together and it's almost too much, the incandescent joy sparking through the Bond. He wants to kiss her forever, but he needs to see her face again. He pulls back slightly, finding that her lovely hazel eyes are also brimming with tears and love. For him. One of her hands leaves his face and the other brushes away his tears while he wipes away hers, their hands mirroring each other's.

"Oh,my usagi, I never imagined …" cried kylo

"Neither did I." said usagi

"usagi, uaagi, usagi …" said kylo

He loved chanting her name then he's kissing her again. The lust that always burns through his body is quiet and they're lost in the Bond and the rapture of their connection. Usagi loves him. He's not sure how long they indulged in the heady feelings traveling through them, but when they'd finally emerged from drifting in one another, it was late enough that It hadn't been worth returning to the bridge. They'd ordered an early dinner and now they're again wrapped around each other.

"Why don't we watch a holovid?" asked usagi

kylo can't remember the last time he's done something so mundane and he almost laughs at her suggestion. Luckily he realizes she's serious before he manages to hurt her feelings. Plus she uploaded tones of horror and others as well. The whole ship is addicted to the horror movie hellraiser now. Plus hikaru and karou wanted to post something on the ship, don't come to this a knocken when its rocket, it was actually voted that they wanted to make a joke. But he nearly choked on his coffee when hux told him that one.

"It's been a long time since I've watched one," said kylo

"I just thought … something light. This afternoon was so …" said usagi

"Yes, quite. Well, if that's what you'd like to do, I have no objection." Said kylo

usagi returns to him and soon she's enraptured with the flickering images casting a blue glow across her face. He's barely paying attention. He's just watching her. How her face moves in delight, how she giggles and sighs. She is far more interesting than a cultural conflict between a human and a twi'lek sharing a living space. He keeps thinking, usagi loves me. He can't stop. He doesn't want to. They're both stretched out along her sofa and she's tucked between his long legs, her back against his chest. Right now he's pulling his fingers through her hair. She shifts, giving him an absolutely marvelous view of her breasts beneath her shirt. She's not wearing anything under her tunic and he begins to react. She turns to look up at him and wriggles back against him.

He nips at her neck. He begins to kiss and nibble at her throat. Her hand comes up and she holds it against his cheek. He sucks, hard, at her flesh and she gasps. She keeps watching the holo, which annoys him, so he smooths his hand along her thigh, up under her tunic until he reaches a glorious breast. He palms it then flicks at a nipple. Her breathing grows harsher, but her eyes are still on the holo. This simply cannot be allowed. With his other hand, he delves into her leggings and finds that she's already wet for him. Not so unaffected, then. He smiles smugly as he strokes along that delectable bundle of nerves and finally she groans and closes her eyes.

"That's my love. I will not be ignored," growled kylo

"No, you won't will you?" asked usagi flatly

usagi turns her head and kisses him while he kneads her breast and plucks at her clit. The way that she moans into his mouth makes him grind against the small of her back. He pushes his hand further along her tight curls and delves a finger inside, his thumb circling that perfect spot.

The last night they'd spent together, he'd still found lingering insecurity in her eyes and he wants to give her something that he's never given anyone else. Her declaration emboldens him to take things further tonight. He gentles his kisses and she whimpers in protest.

"Shhh, I want to try something." Purred kylo

kylo withdraws his hands and encourages her to sit forward. He untangles his legs from around her and maneuvers her until she's sitting back against the sofa, Then he's on his knees in front of her.

He holds her eyes. He continuing to hold her gaze, he inches her leggings down, making sure to hook his thumbs through the fine silk covering her heat. He pulls them down slowly, giving usagi the chance to stop him. Her breath only quickens. Soon he's removed her leggings and underthings and he gently spreads her legs, placing himself between them. Finally, he breaks their eye contact to look down. He gasps at seeing her, glistening and pink. He's never really seen a woman bared to him in this way and he thinks she's beautiful. He'd never even considered doing this before meeting her, but now he finds he's desperate to taste her. She sits up slightly and pulls off her tunic. Now she's completely naked before him and he wants to worship her. She smiles self-consciously.

"You're perfect, usagi, I want you to know that this, what I'm about to give to you, this is only for you. I've never given this to anyone. It's all yours. I'm all yours." Purred kylo

usagi nods, blinking slowly and nibbling her lip. kylo leans forward and just before he reaches her, he inhales. She smells fresh and so very feminine. He spreads her open with his fingers and experimentally swipes his tongue along her clit. She jerks and suddenly her hands are in his hair. Deciding that was successful, he continues to swirl and lick and she grasps his locks.

She tastes divine. He'd not known what to expect, but it's unlike anything he's ever tasted and he likes it. He laps at her, enjoying the feeling of rolling her clit with his tongue. She's making the most delightful sounds and he hums in happiness. Curious about what it would feel like to have his tongue held close by her passage, he shifts and thrusts into her, as deep as he can.

"Kylo," moaned usagi

usagi gasps out as she pulls at his hair, forcing his face into her folds. Oh, he's going to do this every chance he gets. The feel of her tightness around his tongue travels straight to his cock. It's so easy to imagine how she'll feel around him. Yes it's going to hurt because of his size. Usagi pulling him up, trying to get him to return to that delicious bud and he enthusiastically complies. He takes it between his lips and he sucks. He delves his fingers inside, now stimulating her clit with his thumb.

"usagi , darling usagi, I need you to tell me what you like. I want to learn how to make you boneless with pleasure. Will you help me, beloved?" purred kylo

"Uh huh I really liked the swirls." Said usagi

"Like this?" purred kylo

kylo descends upon her again, circling his tongue around her clit firmly. and her words are lost to her whimpering. He keeps his fingers working between her folds and finds a rhythm she seems to like while relentlessly licking her hard nub. She begins to pull at his hair sharply as her other hand slams down on the cushion and she calls out,

"yes! Kylo, I love you, oh stars, I love you." Moaned usagi

And if that doesn't make him redouble his efforts, nothing would. His face is buried in his beloved and she loves him back! He tries swiping his tongue up under her hood and she groans. He smiles into her heat. Yes, he likes this very much indeed. He does as she asks and she's getting loud again. He wants her to scream the whole ship down. Let them hear. He wants them to hear.

That marvelous flutter is beginning around his fingers and he can't wait to feel her orgasm, suck her pleasure from her. A new wave of wetness coats his fingers and his tongue continues to swirl and lick. He loses himself to the cadence of thrusting his fingers inside and the incomparable feeling of being so close, so intimate with his usagi. He feels like he's learning her from the inside out. He wants to feel her come apart for him, knowing that this is new for them both. This is the first time they're sharing something that neither has experienced and he hopes she understands he is entirely hers. It doesn't matter that he's been with other women, and she has ex husbands. everything with usagi is different and he's not sure if she knows how she's remaking him.

Her walls begin to contract hard around his fingers. Her muscles clench down and his fingers are nearly pushed out as she moans his name over and over. His cock twitches as he imagines he's above her, thrusting deeply inside her, these wonderful undulations moving along his length instead of his fingers. Then they start to come faster and she's almost screaming.

"I'm, I'm, oh god, Kylo, I'm coming, oh god, I'm coming," moaned usagi

he wants to say yes, yes, yes, my love, but his mouth is far too busy. With one final groan, she arches off of the cushions and almost pulls his hair out by the roots. He doesn't care. She relaxes back into the sofa and pants. That was amazing. He's absolutely doing that again as soon as possible. Maybe she'll let him do it again later tonight. He lifts his head and finds her eyes. They're unfocused and she's still breathing hard. He pulls his hand from her and deliberately licks his two fingers that had so recently been thrusting inside her. Her eyes grow wide.

"Mmm, you taste so good," purred kylo

Kylo says between sucking the last of her juices from his digits. He places his hands on either side of her hips and leans forward, placing a kiss on her belly. Then he moves his way up, kissing a trail between her breasts until he's at her mouth. His lips are almost on hers when he breathes you,

after kissing him thoroughly, she pulls back.

"Now … I want to taste you." Purred usagi

kylo was already hard from feeling, hearing, enjoying her, but at the thought of that delicate mouth wrapped around him, his cock throbs in anticipation. But he doesn't want her to feel she must reciprocate. His tunic is already being pulled off when she says, Now she's standing and pulling him to his feet. Before he puts everything together she's on her knees in front of him and he's standing there naked after she pulled down the last of his clothing. His cock is achingly hard, so ready for her. he can't talk because she engulfs him in one movement. She can't take it all, but she's already moving her lips along him and he's not sure he's ever going to be able to think again. Any awkwardness of being naked in front of her for the first time is lost to her mouth. It feels so good and his knees are starting to buckle.

"usagi!" moaned kylo

She pulls back and peers up at him. The sight of her, nude, on her knees in front of him, his cock against her cheek, he knows he'll remember that image for the rest of his life. From her position on the floor she pushes him down on the sofa and she's about to settle between his legs when he grabs a throw pillow. She smiles and places it on the floor then sinks down onto the cushion.

She puts her hands on the tops of his thighs and regards his erection. She takes him in her hand and pumps up and down. He would be thrilled if that was all that she did, but then her pink tongue comes out and licks a bead of pre-come from his swollen head. He groans as she takes just the tip into her mouth while stroking his shaft?

usagi eyes are hungry and a strangled moan escapes him. She smiles and returns to her task, again taking only his head into her perfect mouth. She moves her tongue around the ridge, teasing and him while she strokes his shaft. Maker, she's good at this and he smirks. His darling is a prodigy in more than just the Force and her other powers, it would seem. Then she suddenly takes as much as she can in her mouth and he groans loudly.

"usagu, oh, usagi. Your mouth feels amazing." Moaned kylo

Usagi] bobs up and down, using her hand to make up for the fact she can't take him all. He can't tear his eyes from watching his cock disappear between her lips. It's the most erotic thing he has ever seen. Her cheeks hollow as she pulls back and she's swirling her tongue along his head and shaft, adding such glorious sensation to the already fantastic feeling of her lips wrapped around him.

Before he knows it he's already close. This is so different than when he's experienced it before, like everything with her. It had always been about power in his prior entanglements. Grabbed hair and forceful thrusts. He can't imagine treating usagi like that.

But he doesn't want to think about anyone but usagi and her perfect, hot mouth and how good she feels. His balls are beginning to tighten and he knows he'll come soon. She pulls back slowly and holds his eyes, then she's descending again and his cock hits the back of her throat. He manages not to buck up and choke her, but it's a near thing with how intensely she's holding his eyes.

Her voice forms in his head.

"This is even better than I imagined. Feeling you in my mouth. You're so hard, your skin is so silky. I could suck on your cock for days." Purred usagi

kylo had no idea usagi could be so downright naughty and he knows he's the luckiest man in the galaxy. He's getting closer, the pleasure rippling along his spine. Then she pushes through how she's feeling and he almost comes right then. She wasn't lying. She loves this. Her enthusiasm has him moaning as her love for him courses through him. Her light, her beautiful light winds throughout him and it's like he's bathed in warmth. So close, so close.

"usagi , you have stop, Ung, usagi, I'm going to come any moment." Moaned kylo

"good, I told you I want to taste you. I want you to fill me until I can't take any more." Purred usagi

That's it, that does it. The thought of coming in her mouth tips him right over the edge. Bright hot ecstasy courses through him, thrumming through his whole body. He feels like he's flying apart and somehow she's catching him. He fills her mouth with rope after rope of his seed, his orgasm feeling endless. She meant it, she swallows it all down then for good measure she licks up from the base of his cock to the head, ensuring she found every last drop. Swiftly he takes her by her biceps while he shifts. He pulls her up until she's lying on top of him, both of them on the sofa. He takes her face in his hands and kisses her furiously. She's left the Bond open so he sends,

"I love you; that was incredible. I've never felt anything like that ... Thank you, sweetheart." Said kylo

She keeps kissing him back and he's tasting himself on her lips. He's never tasted himself before. It's not unpleasant, but he far prefers her luscious flavor. Then they both still as the feeling of their naked bodies pressed together runs through them. She's draped across him and the intensity of the feeling of all of that contact makes them both gasp. They stop kissing and just look into each other's eyes. His lips part in wonder, the languid post-orgasm feeling twining with the overwhelming sensation of so much connection. It seems that the more of their skin that is touching, the deeper the feeling.

"I love you," said kylo

"And I love you," said usagi

They gaze into each other and time ceases to have meaning. She lifts her hand and runs it through his hair and he holds her tightly against him. Her blue eyes blink slowly and the Bond feels as if it's weaving around their naked bodies. He pulls her head down until their foreheads are touching. He turns them until she's tucked against him, her back to his front and he winds a long leg around hers. He feels sated in a way he's never known. Her skin is warm against his and he revels in how he's able to engulf her with his larger frame. It makes him feel protective and possessive.

"You'll stay tonight, right?" asked usagi

"I told you, I will stay with you every night you wish me to," said kylo

"Maybe you should." Said usagi

"Maybe I should what?" asked kylo

"Stay every night. I mean … I miss you when you aren't here. Knowing you're just down the hall … last night I almost let myself into your quarters." Said usagi

"Oh, I wish you had. I was missing you terribly last night." Said kylo

He'd woken in the middle of the night and his arms had physically ached from her absence.

She turns over so that she's facing him. He rearranges his limbs so that she's again wrapped in him. Her face is eager. He been waiting for her to say something like this for far to long. Maybe those planes would be In use soon enough,

"See? It's silly to sleep apart. We don't have to have dinner beforehand." Said usagi

"I'd like it if we did," said kylo

"I still need a little more space than that. Sometimes I eat with Vitok. And some of the others,. Even my big brother as well, I don't want to give that up." Said usagi

"No, of course will happily sleep beside you each night." Said kylo

Usagi was happy with his answer and leans forward and kisses him softly. He closes his eyes and the realization that he will sleep with her every single night washes over him. She loves him, she wants him. He will see every day. Even if she never gives one more inch, he knows that he would be the happiest man alive with this life. He holds her close, afraid to speak lest he spoil it. Sadly he's afraid of her older brother. The man knows his stuff he finally met Wylan and sent pink flowers petals from his sword and was told they are like blades. He nods and knows not to be on her elder brother bad side. The prince nobleman was like his sister. But he welcome him to family. But right now he's happy. Usagi tucks her head under his chin and he runs his fingers up her spine, enjoying the way she shudders in his arms. His usagi loves him,

To be continued