"Virgil!" Patton cooed as Virgil appeared in his regular breakfast spot. "You made it a little earlier than the past two days!"
"I guess I was missing those Patton-cakes," Virgil shrugged and yawned widely, stretching out his arms.
"Chocolate chip caramel Patton-cakes?" Patton asked temptingly.
"Yes, absolutely, that, that, give it," Virgil said enthusiastically. Patton summoned him a stack of pancakes that might actually hurt his figmental teeth.
"Virgil, that is dessert, not a healthy breakfast," Logan chided from behind his newspaper.
"Do not ruin Patton-cake time," Virgil narrowed his eyes at Logan and then chuckled before he went to town on his fresh delightful breakfast.
"I'm glad you made it back to your own bed on time, Virge. I was getting worried I'd have to wake you," Roman said, nudging Virgil affectionately.
"Oof, well… lucky, I guess," Virgil offered in consolation and ate another bite. "Patton, oh my god Patton, seriously. I love these pancakes," Virgil moaned as he took another large bite.
"Thanks, kiddo!" Patton beamed at him. "Did you want to work more on the beanie today after breakfast? I have some time," Patton offered.
"Oh, yeah, totally," Virgil said between bites with a nod. Patton smiled warmly again and went back to eating.
"So who is your other cuddle buddy, Virgil? It's not that half-foot spider, is it?" Roman asked curiously.
"What? Beeps? No, I'm too scared of anything hurting her. She sleeps in some silks in the nightstand. What do you mean my other cuddle buddy?" Virgil asked.
"You mentioned one last night just before going to bed," Roman explained with a flip of his hand.
"Perhaps it is the giant huntsman spider, Voltaire?" Logan supplied. "Not that cuddling a spider, even of that magnitude, seems reasonable," Virgil looked to Patton who had gone sheet white.
"Maybe let's drop the talk about my pets," Virgil said warily. "I was probably dreaming or something," Virgil lied to Roman with a light shrug, enjoying another bite of ridiculous sugar pancakes.
"You abandoned me for a dream cuddle buddy? Tragic," Roman dramatically moaned, holding his arm to his forehead and falling back on his chair.
"You kicked me out, Ro. Probably because you were scared that I'd make a better 'you' than you would," Virgil said, adding an actual kick under the table. Roman playfully kicked him back with a determined look.
"I don't believe it would be safe for our aspects if we rested in another's room, Virgil, nor do we need a third creativity," Logan said sternly.
"Hey!" Roman shot. Virgil chuckled and shook his head a little.
"It's a joke, Lo, I wouldn't become another Roman, I'd just be more annoying or something," Virgil said and enjoyed more pancakes while Roman protested loudly again. "I think I could stay in your room or Roman's room and be fine. Though, your room does make me shut down just a bit," Virgil took a bite of his breakfast.
"That did not impede you from panicking and punching me in the face before you left last time," Logan grunted.
"It was scary having my thoughts canceled out so quick! I just wasn't used to it," Virgil said defensively.
"Despite appreciating any side with more rationality, I am not fond of any outcome that results in being punched in the face, Virgil," Logan said staunchly.
"Then we will never see eye to eye," Virgil laughed and ate more pancakes while Logan looked confused.
"Virgil why would that prevent us from seeing each other's eyes? We are the same height," Logan asked.
"Because there's always a fist in Virgil's face," Roman chuckled and mimed punching Virgil.
"Fighting is fun, Lo, and I don't mind being punched in the face," Virgil said with an eyebrow wiggle and Roman snickered into his orange juice.
"Virgil, I cannot comprehend your actions lately," Logan held his face and sighed.
"Good, then I'm keeping you on your toes," Virgil nodded and smirked before eating another heaping bite of chocolatey caramel goodness. Logan held up his finger and looked like he was about to say something, but then stopped and reached for a sip of coffee instead.
Virgil felt a buzz in his pocket. He reached out for his phone and Deceit had texted him. Virgil rolled his eyes, wondering what he had done wrong now. Deceit had just sent him a compliment about dissuading Logan that mostly made fun of Logan. That was cool. Virgil texted him back with a smile.
"Are you interested in movie night tonight? A little mental break?" Roman asked tantalizingly.
"Sure," Virgil agreed as he put back his phone.
"That sounds great, Ro! Are you interested, Lo?" Patton asked pleadingly.
"If I am completed with my tasks, I see no harm in joining you," Logan said plainly.
"Dibs on cuddling Logan," Virgil blurted out. Both Patton and Roman huffed and looked to Virgil in confusion.
"Virgil, I am not interested in cuddling anybody," Logan said rigidly, narrowing his eyes.
"What? If I'm cold and Pat's hot, that probably means you're the opposite of Roman's, so you've got to have a calming thing, right?" Virgil asked. "Perfectly reasonable for me to want to try," Virgil pointed to himself.
"I don't have a 'thing', Virgil, and you have never shown evidence of being cold," Logan said plainly, looking annoyed.
"He did the other day!" Patton piped up. "We were all warm and snuggly and he got chilly," Patton pouted.
"What?" Logan asked, befuddled. "You didn't tell me?" He shot Patton a look.
"Well, he called himself the boogie man, and I got confused," Patton explained sheepishly, shoveling more pancakes in his mouth right after.
"I am the boogie man. I've got empirical evidence anytime, Lo. Maybe you just don't think you have a 'thing' because you don't let other sides near you long enough for them to point it out," Virgil smugly offered a possibility.
"We found out about my secondary effect during a movie night with Pat, remember? We couldn't get him to stop rambling and dancing around for like an hour," Roman said. "I didn't know you were cold, though, Virgil. I just thought you had chilly hands," Roman motioned to Virgil's hands.
"I'm always in a hoodie and have decent control of it," Virgil said, pulling up his sleeve and placing his arm on the back of Roman's neck, making him yelp.
"Virgil!" Roman shot, shoving Virgil's arm away. Virgil laughed and pulled his sleeve back down. "Damnit, you are icy, I could have been making vampire jokes about it this whole time!" Roman groaned in displeasure.
"I didn't know you were energizing until your cuddle conspiracy against my nap time, either," Virgil chuckled. "That's why I figured Lo's got to have one, too," Virgil motioned between Roman and Logan with his fork.
"Virgil, other sides haven't shown evidence of such a 'thing'," Logan said dismissively.
"Remus's is similar to Roman's," Virgil supplied. "Though Roman's more pleasant. Remus's is like snorting red bull. I wasn't aware it was a secondary effect 'till I felt Roman's. I just thought it was my urge to punch him in the face," Virgil mused. Roman laughed and fist-bumped Virgil.
"Virgil, I am extremely concerned by the implication that you have tried snorting red bull," Logan put down his paper and stared Virgil down.
"It's an analogy, and I don't even have sinuses to damage," Virgil rolled his eyes. "Cuddle me for science, Logan, what's the harm of a possibly enlightening cuddle?"
"We will cuddle in a puddle!" Patton blurted out suddenly, looking upset.
"If Logan can't keep it in, we'll all be warm and calm and will absolutely pass out on the living room floor. If Roman and I let it out, then it will cancel out," Virgil furrowed his eyebrows.
"That is not a scientifically sound study, Patton. There would be too many variables," Logan said firmly, pushing up his glasses.
"Virge's gonna pass out anyway, the little narcoleptic," Roman snickered and shoved Virgil.
"He is not a narcoleptic, and that is rude, Roman. But that is a fairly anticipated outcome," Logan smirked. Roman huffed and shrugged, muttering an apology under his breath.
"So what, I'm tired, so sue me," Virgil rolled his eyes. "You could always let me drink coffee again," Virgil offered, flipping his hand out.
"No," Logan, Roman, and Patton all said at once. Geez!
"Catnaps are better than anxiety attacks," Patton added pleasantly.
"Ugh, you guys suck," Virgil crossed his arms and leaned back. "Maybe I'll ice the room just for over-parenting me," Virgil groaned and glowered at them.
"You can do an entire room, champ?" Patton asked. Roman looked confused for a moment, like he was trying to focus on something he couldn't grasp. Virgil observed him curiously.
"You okay, Ro?" Virgil asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"I, yeah, I just thought I remembered something, and it slipped away again," Roman offered with a nod.
"Weird," Virgil said, curiously eyeing Roman up and down.
"I think chilling our breakfast would be rude, but can I feel how cold you are, kiddo?" Patton asked, hovering his arm over Virgil's on the table.
"Patton, if you are extra warm and Virgil is extra cold, it will likely be uncomfortable to come in contact with," Logan pointed out.
"I don't care, burn me," Virgil said, shrugging and holding out his arm.
"Virgil, I don't want to hurt you," Patton said cautiously.
"Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back," Virgil said dismissively.
"Satisfaction is not capable of resurrection, Virgil," Logan said, adjusting his tie.
"Add that to your idiom cards," Roman rolled his eyes. Logan nodded and summoned an index card to write on. Patton looked to Virgil and down to his arm again, sliding his sleeve up and putting his hand against it. Virgil yelped when Patton touched his arm.
"Son of a bitch," Virgil muttered, pulling his arm back and rubbing it.
"Hey, language! It didn't hurt me that bad," Patton said curiously. "It was freezing though. Hey, Virge, what's that?" Patton asked, pointing at Virgil's arm. Virgil looked down and saw a snake bite. Shit. Virgil pulled down his sleeve quickly and returned to rubbing it.
"Probably a spider bite," Virgil said dismissively.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you touching it!" Patton said apologetically, looking like he would cry.
"No, it's fine Pat, I get them all the time!" Virgil said, trying to calm Patton down. "They don't even hurt," Virgil said consolingly.
"Other than on contact, it seems," Logan said curiously, eying Virgil's arm carefully.
"Yes, other than on contact, thank you, Logan," Virgil glowered at Logan for freaking out Patton. "I promise I'm okay, Patton," Virgil said quickly, his annoyance at Logan obvious in his voice.
"Those little jerks, hurting my baby boy. Let me at 'em," Patton grumbled.
"I'm not your baby boy, but those are my baby spiders, Patton," Virgil grumbled. "They don't mean it. I just spook them sometimes when I move too fast," Patton shivered. "How did we get back on my pets? Let's drop it again, okay?" Virgil pleaded and exhaled heavily.
"Why do you not just restore the damage, Virgil?" Logan asked inquisitively and leaning forward in anticipation of Virgil's answer. He regretted calling cuddle dibs with Logan.
"I didn't realize it was there to fix," Virgil said, looking back down to his plate and returning to finish his pancakes. "As I said, it doesn't hurt when I get them. Their bites don't affect me. Come on, can we drop the spider talk, Lo?" Virgil implored him.
"Fine," Logan said, not really sounding satisfied. Logan folded his paper and got up to rinse his coffee cup. "I have research to return to. If you would like to talk to me in private Virgil, please send me a message," He added with a meaningful glance at Virgil. Oh, what was he going to say? Of course, he was lying? Of course, it was too hard? That he gave up trying to be who they wanted, and it was easier to pretend? Sign Virgil up for that conversation, never. Logan sank out of the room while Virgil huffed in agitation.
"Logan thinks you were avoiding him, kiddo. He is probably just worried," Patton said after a moment of Virgil quietly growling to himself.
"I mean, if he's going to keep being shady, I might make a genuine effort of it," Virgil grumbled under his breath.
"I told you I'd beat him up for you, Virge," Roman offered with a wink.
"Do you really think If I wanted him to get beat up I wouldn't have done it myself by now?" Virgil rolled his eyes.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that! But also confused. Did I miss something?" Patton asked, tilting his head at the pair.
"Virgil won't tell me," Roman shrugged and sent away his plates.
"I won't tell you either, Pat, this is between him and me," Virgil said. "It's fine, we're not fighting… it's a personal disagreement," Virgil added. Roman shoved Virgil as he got out of the dining chair.
"Cagey! That offer to punch him is still open, anyway," Roman shrugged lightly with a slight grin. "I have to prepare for another day of writing!" Roman declared. "So do text me instead of popping in," Roman posed and sank out of the room.
"Well, as long as you're both nice, that sounds alright with me. But have you thought of a compromise?" Patton offered, looking concerned.
"There's no compromise with this, Pat. But that's okay, we'll just learn to deal with it," Virgil said and ate the last bite on his plate. "I'll go get my knitting, I'll be right back," Virgil disappeared from the chair and into his room. Beatrice landed on his head this time, rambling at him a little too quick for him to understand.
"Beeps, I'm going to go knit with Pat," He said, holding out his hand for her to step on to. She grumbled something about not seeing him in a while. "I can't take you out with me or Pat will have an aneurysm. I'll be back later, okay? You can hang out with Volt and talk trash about me," Beatrice stepped into his hand and Virgil lowered her to the table. She had a few choice words for him but didn't argue further. Virgil gathered his knitting carefully and headed out to the living room couch.
"Welcome back, Virge," Patton beamed, already sitting on the couch with his crochet. It looked like he was working on a new blanket with an unfamiliar pattern today. Pat could be very industrious when he wanted to be.
"Hey Pat," Virgil said and sat down next to him, putting down the knitting and carefully reaching around Patton's busy arms to give him a hug while he worked. Patton dropped his head against Virgil's and nestled it slightly. Virgil let go of Patton and picked up his circular needles. Virgil shifted to lean against Patton while he worked.
"Um, what number am I counting to, Pat?" Virgil asked, looking at the needles in confusion. There were lots of stitches cast on.
"Eighty," Patton chirped. "Once you get to the top, I'll show you how to knit the stitches together to decrease, but you have a few inches to go still,"
"Thanks, popstar," Virgil said and kissed Patton's shoulder. Patton giggled and Virgil focused on counting every stitch. They quietly leaned against each other and worked on their projects for a while.
—
"Pat, don't you think two breaks in one hour is a bit much? He's going to fall behind," Virgil said firmly. He was distracted from his task by Patton, holding out fingers so he wouldn't lose his count of what stitch he was on.
"Well, Tomathy just does so much better after a break, and he's getting tired," Patton said calmly.
"Well, then he can go get a snack and get back to it. Logan's always going on about small snacks for peak mental efficiency," Virgil said, a little annoyed.
"Oh! I want a snack too!" Patton said, excited.
"Our hands are occupied, how exactly do you intend to eat it?"
"Smoothies!" Patton said, putting down his crochet for a moment and summoning two smoothies, passing one to Virgil. Virgil whispered the number out loud to himself over and over since he had to stop holding the number out. Virgil took a very appreciative sip and put it down, going back to holding the numbers out on his fingers.
"Thanks, Pat," Virgil said softly and rubbed his check against Patton. Virgil returned to knitting peacefully.
—
Virgil popped into Deceit's study in the mind palace a few hours later, having finally completed the beanie. Virgil walked around looking around for Deceit when he didn't see him right away at the desk. Deceit was in that giant wingback chair again, enjoying some tea with his legs crossed.
"Ah, Virgil, how very droll to see you," He smiled lazily and sipped his tea.
"Taking a break? Can I join you?" Virgil asked expectantly. Deceit rolled his eyes but nodded, and Virgil dropped himself across Deceit's lap with a smirk.
"I suppose I should have clarified," Deceit chuckled as Virgil weaved his head under Deceit's arm and held on to Deceit's torso for support. "Really, Virgil, you were hugging Patton on and off all morning," Deceit complained in good humor.
"I'm insatiable," Virgil chuckled. Deceit carefully passed his cup around to his other arm and placed it on a side table and hugged him back. Virgil nestled appreciatively against him. "How's self-preservation going?"
"Dreadful," Deceit drawled sardonically. "How is being afraid of everything?"
"Manageable, thanks to you," Virgil sighed happily. Virgil knocked off Deceit's bowler hat and slid on the beanie in one swift movement. "Knitted you something less stupid to wear," Virgil said with a chuckle.
"Really, Virgil? A beanie goes so well with my outfit," Deceit rolled his eyes but didn't move to take it off.
"You could wear something more casual and less jack-the-ripper, for once," Virgil offered teasingly. "How about steampunk so you can keep the cloak?" Virgil offered playfully.
"Have a little less class, please, if you could even manage that," Deceit said derisively.
"What about snakepunk?" Virgil asked playfully.
"I don't think that's a thing," Deceit said incredulously.
"You could make it a thing. Be a taste-maker," Virgil chuckled and poked Deceit in the nose, who shook his head and pulled back.
"I will not dress as a punk for you, Virgil," Deceit groaned with bemusement. Virgil smiled and felt the scales exposed on Deceit's neck.
"Want to take a break a little longer with me? We can see if I've gotten a better poker face yet and play some hold 'em. Maybe see how good Volt is a poker?" Virgil suggested hopefully.
"Playing cards would be terrible," Deceit said, riffling Virgil's hair. "My lap, where I can see your hand, is really the best place to be," He smirked sardonically at Virgil.
"Yeah, yeah, I knew the risks. I intended to cuddle the hell out of you tonight though," Virgil begrudgingly got off of Deceit's lap. Deceit shifted the mind palace room to move the two wing-backs together and added a table between them with a deck of cards. "No, no, no, we're not using your cards, I learned my lesson," Virgil held up his hands and shook them at him.
"Virgil, I would never," Deceit held his hand to his heart and looked to Virgil in mock indigence. Virgil stuck out his tongue and created a deck. "I'll deal," Deceit held his hand out for the deck, and Virgil passed it over reluctantly.
"Beeps was mad at me earlier for being gone, can she spectate in my hair?" Virgil asked, looking up to Deceit.
"I'm just so very fond of your little pets," Deceit said sourly.
"You take jars of fear spiders and you can't handle one sassy tarantula?" Virgil asked dubiously.
"It's not like the spiders are crawling on me," Deceit said. "Fine, but she stays on you and can't give you pointers. She's a card shark," Deceit waved his hand dismissively.
"Takes one to know one," Virgil snickered and summoned Beatrice from his room. She spent a moment yelling at him in his hand before crawling up his arm and burying herself in his hair. "D says no tips, Beeps," He said after she settled in. She agreed and insulted his playing ability. Virgil rolled his eyes at her and then glanced around Deceit's study. "I haven't seen Pearl in a while, where is she?" Virgil asked Deceit as he skillfully continued shuffling the deck.
"Pearl likes to watch Roman acting, lately," Deceit supplied mildly.
"Oh, your own snake has picked another side as her favourite? That's rough, buddy," Virgil said with a laugh as Deceit dealt out their hands.
"She is doing her duty, Virgil, not picking favourites," Deceit said, though Virgil caught him distinctly bristle for less than a second.
"I'm kidding, D, I'm sure she still loves you best, even if she's finicky," Virgil said placatingly and picked up his hand.
"I don't care if she loves me as long as she's doing her tasks," Deceit said stiffly, throwing out a card and taking a new one.
"Oh, don't start with that," Virgil groaned and threw out both cards. "You can like things without them serving a purpose," Virgil placed two chips in the middle to start and Deceit raised right away. Oh, Virgil did not have the hand for this aggressive betting. Beatrice was already laughing at him. Virgil grunted and called, and Deceit flipped the first card. He had fuck-diddly so far.
"Even love serves a purpose, Virgil," Deceit said and raised again.
"And even love can hurt you. It doesn't mean it's not real and valuable for what it is alone," Virgil said, calling. Deceit just raised again.
God, was Deceit psyching him out, or did he have a good hand? He really hoped he was getting better at his poker face, but he had no way of knowing. Deceit's face was as impassive as usual. Virgil didn't have an inkling if he was doing okay or if Deceit even cared about his hand. Virgil called once more and Deceit flipped the next card on the table. Virgil had a low pair, now. He tried not to react and called again, trying not to give any clues. Deceit didn't act like he saw anything when Virgil checked. Deceit called, and he flipped the last card. Just a low pair still. But Deceit could still have nothing. Folding this far in just seemed like a waste. Virgil bet and the pot was raised by Deceit again.
"I'm afraid you still had a tell, dear," Deceit said.
"Oh? Then what do I have?" Virgil replied with a challenging edge to his voice.
"A pair, at best," Deceit said coolly. Virgil threw his cards face down in frustration and called.
"What did I do?" Virgil asked, feeling defeated.
"Eye twitch, your breath hitched, and you checked to see if I noticed something change, and looking nervous about all the times I raised," Deceit offered, finally calling and flipping his hand to reveal he had two pair.
"Son of a fucking bitch," Virgil rubbed his face. "How do I fix an eye twitch?"
"I wouldn't know, darling, I don't have those kinds of problems," Deceit said airily, 'checking' his nails.
"You smug bastard, just shuffle, and let's try again," Virgil growled, rubbing his eye and hoping he can stop the twitch next time.