My Serenity

WARNING: Rated M for some violence, language, and sexual situations. This fic contains (eventual) femmeslash and sexual situations between two female characters. Do not continue if this is not to your liking.

Xxx

Chapter 32 – The Serenity Family

"I love you."

It just slipped out of Jane's mouth so easily. As if it were a given. As if she said it every day. And she meant it.

Maura looked back at her with a bright smile. Jane didn't think she had ever seen Maura so overjoyed. Jane grinned back. Seeing Maura so happy made her heart flutter, and the thought that she had caused that joy made it even better.

"I love you, too." Maura beamed.

"I should have said it sooner," Jane whispered, breaking her gaze guiltily. "I know you were worried when I didn't say it back."

Maura touched her palm to Jane's cheek. When the brunette looked at her, she spoke softly, earnestly, "Jane, I know you love me." She rubbed her thumb lovingly over Jane's cheek as she spoke, "I'll admit. I was anxious at first because sometimes you're so hard to read. But I've come to realize that you speak in ways other than with your voice."

Jane's brow furrowed.

Maura tucked some of Jane's wild hair behind her ear, "You don't say things. You do things. You act. If you tell someone you're going to do something, you don't have to say, 'I promise;' it's a given. When you care for someone, you take care of them. Like how you take extra shifts on the bridge, even when you're exhausted. Or how you put your family's lives before your own. You push your brothers into doing more than they think they can handle because you know that they are stronger than they think. You act like you're invincible so that others feel like there's hope in the darkest of moments."

Jane was lost in those hazel eyes as Maura spoke. Tears welled, but she refused to let them fall. She sighed and tried to stay in this moment with Maura. She had never wanted time to stop so much since that night on Regina as they looked up at the stars. She wanted a thousand more times like these.

And when Maura stopped talking, Jane pulled her close and kissed her deeply. She memorized the taste and feel of her lips, the softness of her hair through her fingers, the sound of her breathy sighs, the saltiness of the tears that snuck down Jane's cheeks and onto Maura's lips.

A banging came from the hatch above, "Breakfast is ready!"

Jane sighed, burying her nose in Maura's neck.

"Hey! You two lovebirds hear me?" Tommy yelled, banging again.

Jane looked at Maura, whispering so her brother wouldn't hear her, "Do we have to?"

"You should really eat something," Maura said, "You didn't have dinner last night."

"I'm not that hungry." Jane said. A growl from her stomach betrayed her.

Maura laughed, "You need to keep your strength up. You're still healing, you know."

"What do you mean," she smirked, raising her arm and flexing her bicep, "look at these guns. I've never been stronger."

Played along, squeezing Jane's arm and raising a brow, "Very nice. I imagine you can use them quite effectively."

Jane smirked when Maura gave her a suggestive look, "We could test that hypothesis."

Maura giggled.

"I can hear you two flirting down there!" Tommy shouted.

"Go away!" Jane shouted back.

"As much as I'd like to," Tommy groaned, "Ma told me if I didn't get you to the table, she was going to make me take Frankie's turn cleaning the waste reclamation tank."

"We're busy!" Jane yelled before leaning in and kissing Maura again.

"Janey!" Tommy whined. "Come on!"

"We should really have some mercy on him …" Maura reasoned.

"Do we have to?" Jane pouted.

"We'll be up in a minute!" Maura shouted.

"Thank god!" Tommy said before walking off.

Xxx

Jane sat across from Maura at the breakfast table. Normally, she would have sat at the head of the table with Maura on her left, but she didn't trust herself so close to her. Maura kept eyeing her as they ate. It wasn't a big meal, just some rehydrated protein and some sort of starchy casserole that tasted vaguely like potatoes—they didn't have a lot of options left when it came to meals.

Tommy and Frankie sat at the other end of the table. The two were bickering over the chores that had to be done while they scarfed down their food. They haven't changed a bit, Jane smiled. Their mother returned from taking a plate of food to Frost on the bridge, smacking both Rizzoli boys for "causing a ruckus!" Korsak sat awkwardly at the head of the table since Maura was in his usual seat. He gave Jane a raised eyebrow but said nothing.

Giovanni sat next to Tommy, his eyes on Maura and Jane at the other side of the table. "How's it going, ladies?" he said suggestively as he took a giant bite out of his food.

Jane rolled her eyes. Giovanni might be useful, but he was unbearably annoying most of the time. Maura smiled politely but didn't respond. She had learned not to encourage his behavior.

Tommy smacked Giovanni upside the head, "Cut it out man. Not cool."

"What?" Giovanni complained, rubbing the back of his head. "I was just saying good morning."

"Uh huh," Tommy and Frankie said together, chewing loudly as they turned back to their meals.

"We're making good time," Korsak said as a way of making conversation.

"Does that mean I can stop rationing the food?" Angela said hopefully, "You guys always look so hungry." She ruffled Tommy's hair as she sat down.

"Ma!" Tommy grunted, pushing her hand away.

"Your portions have been very generous," Maura reassured. "In my opinion, I believe the crew is quite healthy. Well, most of the crew that is." Maura eyed Jane at the last part.

"What?" Jane shot back, poking her food with her fork, "I'm eating, okay?"

"Good," Maura winked, "you need to keep up your strength."

Jane tried not to choke on her water as Maura reached under the table with her foot and ran it up her calf. The brunette looked at her indignantly, but Maura only smiled innocently. Thankfully, Korsak interjected before Jane had a chance to curse under her breath.

"What I meant was," Korsak said, "that we need to figure out a what we're gonna do when we get there."

"Get where?" Giovanni asked, his mouth still half full of food.

"Manners!" Angela scolded. "I swear, none of you have any table manners!"

Korsak ignored Giovanni's question. "Greenleaf isn't exactly the kind of place we want to find ourselves with the Alliance on our trail, but I don't think we have any choice."

"What about Dyton?" Jane asked, eyeing Maura out of the corner of her eye. Maura looked sheepish for a moment, but that didn't stop her from continuing to distract Jane a few minutes later.

"It might be a better pick." Korsak nodded. "But then again, we might run in to some of Badger's folk there."

"He'd have them sell us out the moment he got word of us landing there." Frankie grumbled.

"There is a lot of wilderness on Greenleaf," Maura pointed out. "It'd be easy to lay down there."

Jane smirked, "I think you mean 'lay low.'" She couldn't help but blush a little at Maura's adorable shy smile. Then Jane felt Maura's foot on her leg again and she blushed some more.

Korsak continued, determined to ignore the two of them. "I don't know. There's a lot of black-market stuff going on. We don't really need to go seeking out trouble."

"You know the Alliance doesn't give two shits about what goes down on Rim planets like Greenleaf." Frankie said, dodging his mother's hand for "language!"

"But Paddy Doyle does." Jane said, watching for Maura's response. She wasn't sure how she would feel with her bringing him up again, but it needed to be discussed. Maura frowned at Jane but didn't say anything, so Jane added, "A lot of his black-market connections run through this system."

"I thought we determined that he was working with the Alliance." Frankie replied.

"Yeah," Tommy added, "he's the one who sent those officers away when we were leaving the hospital, remember?"

"There could be a reason the blatant drug smuggling gets ignored by the Alliance …" Jane said, still watching Maura out of the corner of her eye. The honey blond looked agitated. Jane had the feeling that she had been holding on to the hope that Paddy was really a good person in disguise. Jane couldn't really blame her. She had always hoped her own father would turn out to be a better man than he had always proved to be.

"But what motive could he have?" Korsak asked.

"Money," Maura pointed out, looking somber. "Black market medicine is probably the biggest industry on the Border planets. If he's in control of the supply, he's stands to make a better profit."

"I think his connections in the Alliance go a lot deeper than we think." Jane said, looking a little guilty. She should have told Maura about her suspicions sooner, but she just hadn't found the opportunity.

"What are you talking about?" Frankie said.

"The Alliance cruiser," Jane said, looking down the table at her brother, "the one that chased after me? Doyle was in command of that ship."

"What?!" said practically the whole table at once.

"I heard him on the radio," Jane said, only glancing back at Maura briefly, "when they were in pursuit."

"Why didn't you—" Maura started, looking hurt.

"I only just remembered a few days ago." Jane said, reaching out for her hand across the table. "I meant to tell you but …"

"Well," Korsak interrupted, "then Greenleaf probably isn't the best—"

All of a sudden, Maura stood, wordlessly leaving the table.

"Maura!" Jane called after her. She followed her out of the canteen and into the hallway. "Maura, I'm sorry."

The honey blond turned suddenly. Jane stopped dead, throwing up her hands defensively. She expected at least a verbal assault. Maura did look angry, but there were tears in her eyes too.

Jane softened, "I'm sorry, I—"

"I'm not mad at you," Maura said, her jaw tight, "I'm mad at myself."

Jane pulled her close. Maura softened some, but she didn't cry—that was how Jane knew it was especially bad. She ran her hand over Maura's hair, kissing her head. She waited for Maura to explain, as she usually did.

"I let myself believe he might…" she stepped back, looking into Jane's eyes sorrowfully, "I don't know… that he might actually be a decent person. He's said he's trying to protect me… I can't believe I let myself excuse…" She couldn't even finish her thought.

Jane looked down at her sympathetically. She couldn't make herself share any more. What use would it be to tell Maura what Frankie had told her about Paddy killing that officer at the Ariopolis facility? 'Anything to protect her,' he had said. Apparently, that included executing witnesses.

"What was he doing on that cruiser?" Maura whispered, more to herself than to Jane.

"I'm not sure," Jane admitted, "but it sounded like he was in charge."

"I don't understand." Maura shook her head. "What is he after? What is his relationship with my—with … Constance?"

Jane gave her a sympathetic look, "Maura we don't know that he's telling the truth. That woman isn't necessarily your—"

"You've seen her picture, Jane." Maura shook her head. "Her facial structure, her eyes. The chances that she's not related to me are … "

Jane nodded, "Okay. That doesn't make Constance any less of a mother—"

"Is she though?" Maura said angrily. "Her and my father… we were never really a family. Not like yours. Not like a normal family."

"Oh, Maura," Jane said softly, trying to hold her, but Maura stepped back. "The Rizzoli's are just one family," Jane insisted. "And we're hardly normal. I wouldn't use us as the standard—"

"Even this crew makes a better family than the Isles," Maura yelled, pointing down the hall towards the canteen where the Serenity crew sat together sharing a meal—something they had been doing almost daily for the past two weeks. "My family was rarely on the same planet no less the same room! They sent me off to boarding school in a different system the first moment they had a chance …"

Maura paused, seemingly out of breath. Jane's heart ached for the look of loss in Maura's eyes. She knew that bringing up Paddy Doyle would be difficult. What she hadn't realized was just how much. All this time Maura had been worrying about taking care of Jane, she hadn't stopped to take care of herself. Not knowing so much about her own past must have been eating at her.

"I'm sorry …" Jane said softly.

Maura looked at her, confused. "It's not your fault—"

"No," Jane shook her head, "I mean, I'm sorry I haven't been there for you the way you've been here for me. All this stuff going on with Hoyt and the Hands of Blue. I haven't considered how you've been struggling too."

"Jane," she replied, taking her hand, "you've been lovely. You've all been lovely. I've just struggled to understand the little bits and pieces I've been given. I don't even know who my family is—"

"Yes, you do."

"What?"

"Your family," Jane said, squeezing her hand, "you know who they are. They're right here on this ship, in that canteen."

"Jane," Maura whispered, bewildered.

"There's Ma," Jane smiled. "She's kind of overbearing, but deep down everyone knows she does it because she loves us. And there's Tommy and Frankie. Tommy likes to make trouble and place the blame on Frankie. And you know Ma will believe her baby boy."

Maura couldn't help but smile.

"And there's Korsak," Jane continued. "He's like the quiet, angry looking uncle who secretly has a soft spot for everyone. Frost is like our cousin or something. He's a giant nerd, but we wouldn't get anywhere without him. And even Giovanni's kind of been adopted—like the displaced neighbor kid."

"And you?" the honey blond smiled, enjoying Jane's extended metaphor.

"Yeah," Jane smiled, "well I'm the one that has to save the day, remember?"

Maura raised a brow, "You had better not any time soon."

Jane put her hands onto Maura's hips. "Then there's you," Jane beamed. "You're the most important of all."

"Is that so?" Maura said with an amused expression.

"Yes," Jane nodded, "you're the voice of reason. The glue that keeps us together."

"More like stitches you up when you go and do something stupid," Maura rolled her eyes.

"Exactly," Jane smirked, leaning close.

"You're lucky you're so gorgeous." Maura grinned, pulling Jane into a kiss.

"Yeah," Jane said, leaning back to just look at Maura's smiling face. She winked, "Right back at ya."

Maura smirked back, "And you said you weren't any good with words."

Jane shrugged, "What can I say, I've had a good teacher."

"I have other things I can teach you, by the way." Maura said, subtly biting her lip.

"Maura!" came a shout.

Yep, right about time for that, Jane thought exhaustedly.

"Maura! Jane! Come quick!" Angela called from the canteen.

They dashed back down the hall to find Korsak keeled over. Angela was at his side, holding a bin. The rest of the table stood, looking in horror.

"What happened?" Maura said, running to him.

"I don't know. He just—" Angela tried. The rest of the crew looked away as Korsak got sick again.

"He said he felt dizzy." Tommy explained, as Maura touched Korsak's head, then felt his pulse. "Then he just spewed—"

"Tommy!" Jane and Frankie yelled simultaneously.

"What?" Tommy complained, "He did."

"Jane," Maura said, turning to her, "go get my medical bag. It's in your bunk."

Jane nodded and ran off without another word. Maura turned to Angela, "What did he eat?"

"Same as everybody el—" Korsak tried but was hit with another wave of nausea.

Everyone stepped away from the table frantically.

Angela looked indignant, "I do not serve spoiled food—"

Maura ignored her, attempting to ask Korsak, "And to drink?"

"Jus—" he paused, then tried again. "Just water."

"Here," Jane said, handing Maura her bag. Her equipment was somewhat rudimentary, but it would do for now. She hadn't had a chance to restock the medical equipment since they'd been hiding out in the Halo.

"Tommy, Frankie," Maura ordered, "go get the stretcher. I'll likely have to put him on an I.V. to keep him hydrated."

When Tommy and Frankie just started at her in shock, Jane shouted at them, "Go! Do as she says!" The two ran off immediately.

"What can I do?" Angela said worriedly.

"Prepare the infirmary." Maura directed. "Make sure the bed is prepped. I.V. bags, syringes, antibiotics …"

"What is it?" Angela said anxiously.

"Ma, just go." Jane said. "Giovanni, go get that food from Frost. Don't let him—"

"I don't think it's the food." Maura said, listening carefully with the stethoscope. It was a lot harder with so much movement around her.

"What is it?" Jane said eagerly.

"Nausea, vomiting, dizziness…" Maura thought aloud, "low blood pressure … Korsak, have you had any headaches, weakness, fatigue?"

He simply nodded.

"What's going on?" Tommy said as he and his brother returned with the cot. "Is he going to be okay?"

Maura didn't answer. Instead, she gestured at Giovanni, "help them get him to the infirmary."

"It's okay, I can—" Korsak started, only to stumble forward.

"No," Maura said, guiding him to the stretcher, "you should rest."

As soon as the four of them were out of earshot, Jane turned to Maura. "What is it, Maura? I know you know more than you're saying."

"I don't know for sure …"

"But?"

"He has all the common symptoms of acute radiation syndrome."

"Radiation sickness?"

Maura nodded solemnly, "And without the proper medical treatment, he's going to get very sick. We all will."

"All of us?"

"It could take hours or days, but we were all exposed to that radiation blast. If we don't get treatment fast, we're aren't going to make it very far."

[To be continue]