Chapter 47:

And It'll be Us Just for a While

-x-

Hanji walked with a still heavy body and mind full of wondering thoughts going to school, dragging her entire self until graduation arrives.

It is only just a few more days to endure and then she could relax a bit and do something she had not done for a long time and might even prepare for college.

She sighed when they passed by the usual bridge going to the school, which is after a few minutes, she would already be at the school premises. She held on the strap of her bag tightly and absently looked at the path that she is walking on in.

"You almost stepped on that shit you know?" the strong, familiar voice of Levi came into her ears and Hanji can't help but suddenly feel awaken as their hands are still attached to each other.

He looked like a male version of the goddess Aphrodite, Hanji thought. She managed a small smile but turned sour once again as she felt that all of her endorphins are still on a low count.

Levi saw the way how Hanji's smile turned into a sadder one and he didn't liked it. He is still not used with the kind of episode that Hanji is in to and as a person who she had touched and somehow changed and also taught him lots of things that he never knew he could do. Thus, he had thought of a plan to help her out somehow just like what she does to him.

She looked at him with her huge sad brown eyes and without a second, Levi is still pulling her hand and realized that their feet were already running towards the different direction, and it is not their school.

"Levi!" She called out as she looked at him. "What are we-"

"We're going to break some rules for today."

"What do you mean?"

"Your parents are going to be out today and will come back the day after tomorrow right?" Levi asked. "Don't tell me no because it's the second Wednesday of the month."

"Yes, just like the usual right?" she asked as she knows that Levi is supposed to be aware of it already.

"Just follow me." He tells her as he slightly glance at her and continued to move on their tracks while being aware of the possible familiar faces that might prevent them from going on into their plan.

Hanji was surprised that they ended up on a bus as Levi paid both for their ticket after they chose a place to sit on. She watched him check his things as he returns his wallet and turned to look to where the bus is heading.

"Where are we going Levi?" she asked curiously. She is pretty much not in the mood to talk a lot and as she looked outside and see that the path that they are passing by is not familiar to her, she decided to start talking to her friend.

"But Levi we have practices and-"

"There's nothing wrong breaking our routine sometimes," he tells her with his steel grey eyes. Despite the steeliness, Hanji could still feel a hint of doubt. "and some rules." He added with whole confidence while deep inside, he was hoping that everything is going to turn out alright, even if they just had their friendship rekindled and had not yet had any moments or daily routine done recently.

Seeing his confidence and motivation made Hanji smile though and made her feel adventurous all too suddenly. "It's just preparation for the fucking graduation Hanji, I guess we won't be missing out so much." Levi reassures and he finally earned the smile that he wanted from her the most.

It was enough to make him feel firm on his decision.

Hanji smiled warmly at him and he tried his best to return the same amount of smile but only managed to smirk at her just right. "And what we are about to have today is?" she asked a bit lighter this time, not pushing or demanding.

"An adventure." His answer was brief and hanging to its sense, not giving her any idea what kind or for how long but remembering that he asked her just moments ago about her parent's absence, then it's most probably very long and will take until night time.

It just made her smile some more.

And wordlessly, they both looked outside on the window of the bus, observing the scenery that they were passing by. After twenty minutes, they reached a train station and Levi immediately bought them tickets. Hanji was left to look around, not very often using the trains but was okay for her part. She is completely adaptable and transportation and long journeys does not make her feel dizzy. She just can't quite point out yet of what they are going to do or where they are going yet. But as long as the mystery is there, she can't help but feel more and more excited.

Once Levi was back, he handed her her ticket and together they boarded the train. As far as she knows, this train is bound to take them to the south. She looked at her phone to check the time but her attention was taken by the almost ten messages of Nanaba which was sent every ten to twenty minutes.

Are you absent for today?

Why are you absent? You did not tell me that you'd be absent today.

Is everything okay?

Are you at home? Give me a call after seeing my messages.

Mike said he didn't see Levi. Are you guys together!? Did you plan on doing something!

A tiny smile crept into her face as she could feel entirely the concern of her friend. She decided to simply text her instead since she could be in the middle of something busy, and she'd understand why she did not call after reading her text.

I'm okay Nana, don't worry about me J And yes, I'll be absent for today and I'm with Levi so no need to worryJ

Hanji can already imagine Nanaba looking confused and troubled once their teacher would start questioning her as to where she is, but she is confident that she would think something good for her absence like they usually does ever since.

She then turned to look at the window to admire the scenery that is now becoming full of trees and with lesser people around, guessing that they might go somewhere far. After becoming comfortable and excited for the day's adventure, she settled on her place in a more comfortable manner when Levi suddenly slashed though her quiet ambience.

"Who was that?" Levi asked suddenly.

"It's Nanaba" she responded with a smile. "She was just getting worried that I am not around school today and did not even managed to inform her."

Levi could tell and see the worry on her tone and her expression, completely feeling her connection with her blonde friend. He can't blame her though, as he too has a good friendship and camaraderie with a blonde friend as well.

At least they had another thing in common, he thought.

Levi saw how Hanji looked in anticipation to their journey together as she smiled non-stop outside into the windows and eagerly watched without looking rather gloomy. He is happy to finally have her attention diverted from the previous negative thoughts from moments before and to help her feel happy be like her usually self all over again.

As much as he wanted to also see the scenery from outside, all he could find himself to be in is to look at her figure watching outside the windows. He was too deep mesmerized as to how her lips go up and smile and admire everything that she sees on the road. Deep inside, he had missed seeing her happy for a long time. Recently had been disastrous to her and finally seeing her happy and looking this contented had been liberating for him.

And suddenly he realized, that she matters to him a lot that he cannot fathom to see her sad.

That was why he is puzzled seeing her so sad and affected if she is disappointed.

And all he could see is her as of the moment.

And he wanted more of her.

-x-

It took them almost an hour to arrive in their destination, the train conductor woke them together as it was already the last stop.

Levi was surprised to feel an extra weight on his shoulder, and he was surprised to see that it was Hanji's head leaning unto him and his right arm is around her. He gently moved and balances her head on his shoulder, liking the view from the top of her nose and gently muttered to her.

"Wake up Four Eyes" he whispered and shook her lightly. "We're here" he said and Hanji groans. He is actually waiting for her to give him a surprised and panicked look, she smiled at him instead so brightly it melted his heart.

Together they stood and exited the bus. As they set foot on the ground, Levi stared into the horizon before him. He never had the opportunity in his life to explore even in any nearby place around town and this is his first time so he feels a bit of worry if things are all going to be okay.

But Hanji knew better.

"This is your first time going out on a different place, isn't it?" she asked as she held unto his shoulder and he in return, glances into her and give her a low nod.

"Don't worry about it, we'll do just fine." She assures him with a smile full of confidence.

"What do you think we should do?" Levi asked, feeling pathetic as he dragged her into this and yet does not have any idea of what to do anyway.

"Let's just continue walking and explore the place, we're going to see something good here for sure."

"Okay" but in whole honesty, Levi just wanted to spend time with her for an entire day wherein she is not a prisoner of sadness because surely if they are at school, she will just get sad every now and then due to seeing Erwin which is impossible not to see.

What more if he approaches her and talks to her? That son of a bitch has no clue that she has interest on him.

Hanji clung into his arm and together walked around. They wandered around, seeing a small park with few children playing, a nearby school and until they reached the town plaza. It took them only a couple of minutes getting there with few exchanges of thoughts on what they should do and what they are too see in the place.

The place is actually beautiful, rich of trees and plants and flowers, a different set of flora that Hanji does not usually see and she is gratefully delighted about it. They took a left after the town square and saw a bicycle park where there are some people and even children riding bicycles around.

"I want to give that one a go!" she exclaimed as she points on a low kind of bicycle with two sitters and has to stretch their legs forward to paddle.

"Okay" Levi agrees and follows her as she asked on how much and how long to rent and use the bikes. Once Hanji came back, she gradually pulled him towards a bike that she said she had already paid for.

"We can use the bicycles maximum of an hour, isn't that great?" she cheered and sat down together with him.

The both of them worked on together and biked around the park as they sat like they usually sit on any kind of low chair. They roamed around and even saw that there is a quiet river nearby and they can row a boat on it, in which Hanji immediately expressed desire into rowing a boat.

"I'd pay this time" Levi mumbles after Hanji tells him she wanted to row a boat next after bicycling. Her look was in shock and Levi quickly gave her an explanation. "I mean, you already did earlier, just to be fair."

Hanji smiled and nodded, much to his relief.

As they consume their time bicycling, they noted around some ice cream stands as well as hotdog stands, comfort rooms, a fountain and a beautiful gazebo and Levi saw a sign and learned that he could take her into rowing into a boat.

"Are you okay with this?" Levi asked suddenly while paddling onto the bike together with her. Hanji then turned and gave him a quizzical look.

"What do you mean?"

"You being absent? I mean, you've never-"

"Levi" she says his name and gave his cheek a pinch. "It's like what you said, nothing much is to be done today except for graduation practice in which I would only recite the pledge of loyalty."

Levi was quiet after what she explained and looked elsewhere. He was just making it sure that she is okay and does not feel pressured or forced.

"Besides" Hanji suddenly added and Levi looked into her. "spending time with you for a day, breaking rules and just giving ourselves a time out is surely something I wanted to try and see for myself, most especially it is unplanned."

Levi smirks at her as she giggled with glee for it was surely a surprise she surely did not forsee. He has to take note she likes surprises and vowed himself to make this day a memorable one and worth the absence they made.

"Me too" Levi tells her and Hanji bit her lower lip as she smiled. She looked so cute as she did something like that, looking happy but shy and just so unlike her since he had known her to be bold and extraordinary he thought.

After bicycling, they immediately continued to the boats because Hanji was already too eager to try them together, they paddled and row as they got tired. Hanji tried to tease Levi by splashing some water unto him in which he of course, did not seemed to do well on him because he thinks that it is dirty. The bothering feeling that the water is causing him subsided as he saw Hanji laughing hard because of his cleanliness anxiety as usual.

"It's clean Levi! You don't need to worry you know!" she exclaimed and Levi just clicked his tongue away in which Hanji furthered laughed at.

They enjoyed rowing and paddling in the water mostly in silence and adored watching some ducks, swans and their younglings not far from them, as well as the fishes that swam deep in the water which they could clearly see. Hanji kept on counting and telling information on Levi about the kois and he listened eagerly since it was fascinating anyway and had him wonder about their uniqueness.

Afterwards, they ate and Hanji offered to pay since Levi also already paid for the boats earlier. Upon looking at the time, they had already been fooling around for almost three hours already.

"Time sure is fast" Hanji mumbles after Levi told her about the time and he can't help but agree with her.

"Fuck with that, go finish your food and we still have somewhere to go." He declares and Hanji was suddenly surprised.

"Really? Where to?"

Levi could only smirk at her and leave her wondering.

To Hanji's surprise, they arrived in a cemetery. No one was there but she could feel the eeriness of the place as well as its peacefulness. She obviously is wondering as to why in the world they are doing there but then, Levi held her carefully on her wrist and exchanged quick glances. Levi could only gulp hard and walk her within the cemetery, nervousness overwhelming him since this is the first time that he will be doing this.

"Levi, wha—"

"Hanji, I want you to meet my mom." Levi said after clearing his throat and looked at Hanji. She then flashed a confused face at first but then turned to smile as she understood what was going on, not expecting this from Levi at all.

"Mom" Hanji swears she felt nervousness in him. "this is Zoe Hanji, she is a friend from school. She is usually filthy, very intelligent but I know you'd like her."

"Pleased to meet you ma'am" Hanji greeted on the grave right in front of her. "I am more than happy to be Levi's friend." She bowed as a sign of respect and smiled as though someone was just there right in front of her.

"My uncle told me that he had asked to have her buried here, that he got lucky that he managed to have her here for being friends with one of the upper class men and had a friend who could help him find a place here for my mother on a slashed price. Neither did he know that he too, will follow soon after." Explained Levi even without Hanji asking. It is good to let her know, he thought.

Levi came to kneel one leg down on his mother's grave, touching the soil by the tombstone.

"Hanji and her family helped me a lot mom." He whispered into the grave good only for him to hear.

Hanji watched Levi talk to his mother and felt in awe as she never knew that Levi could actually be sweet and affectionate. She also realized that he must have missed her so much and wondered when was the last time he was able to visit her.

As she watched him talk to his mother, she can't help but feel fuzzy over the fact that he actually brought her here and the fact that he wished his mother 'like her too'. She felt confused if she should feel happy or not about it.

"I miss you mom." Were the last words he told to his mother and rose from his position and went beside Hanji, eyes still locked on his mother's grave.

"Thank you for coming to visit her with me today, Hanji" Levi murmured as he still locked eyes on his mother's grave.

"It's nothing Levi" Hanji reassures with a smile even if he is not looking at her.

"Goodbye mom, we'll be on our way now." Levi bid farewell, his chest heavy.

"It's nice to meet you too, Ms. Ackerman." Hanji said politely and had been extra careful on what to call Levi's mother. Remembering Levi's story accurately, it would make his mother unmarried to anyone so there is no reason to address her as 'Mrs. Ackerman' then.

Levi was happy and proud of his decision to bring and introduced Hanjji to his mother, she had been very respectful and had been nothing but purely a positive image for his mother. As the darkness starts to wrap the environment, the two of them went to walk away from the cemetery, silence already aching in their ears.

For the first time in his lifetime, he did not go into the said place alone with a heavy heart.

-x-

Hanji did not notice but they were also in the same graveyard where Petra and Aurou were buried.

After a few minutes of walking, she was surprised when she saw where they are at and looked at Levi. She could feel her heart heavy with pain and guilt. Never in her entire life that she would experience having friends who would commit suicide because of her, whether directly or indirectly.

"Levi…" her eyes are already tearing up again as she remembered how her heart broke when she was told of the sad news.

Not just one but two lives were taken, all because of her and Levi.

"I'm so sorry" she mumbled and kneeled between the two tombs, laying each a hand of hers in the tombstone as though she is holding their shoulder and or hands.

"I miss you both" Hanji whispers sadly. Levi came behind her and places a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to him and he offers her his hand for her to grab. She did, making him glad that she actually did.

She didn't let go of his hand right away, liking warmth that it gives from the now turning cold night.

"I could have done better. I should have fought back with Petra and thought of a way out" she exclaims with such guilt that is gnawing her heart once again.

"Hanji.."

"We could have done better Levi!"

"I know,"

"Now look at them!" This time, the pipes worked and her tears fell.

"it's hard Hanji, I know. Life is never going to be the same without them but even if it's hard, what do you think they wanted us to do?" Hanji stopped and stared at him. This time, she let her brain work and stopped her tears.

"They would want us to continue with our life" she mumbled.

"Yes, but we should not forget them, ever." A soft sad smile crept of Hanji's face.

"You're right." She said and looked back to the tombstones, her hand still with Levi's.

"This is Petra's headband. She left it in our locker room." Levi hands her a pink cloth headband and right in that moment, she knows what he meant by that. She promised to take care of it as she looked and inspect it.

"You will always be in our hearts, Petra" and then she gently lets go of Levi's hand and touch the grave of Petra then turned to Aurou's. "and of course, Aurou." She did the same with Aurou's grave.

"Life is so much better if you're here. I'm sorry I couldn't be smarter and stronger enough for you both." She whispers.

"If I am only more responsible and a less of a asshole, this wouldn't happen." Levi interjected her conversation to herself.

"We all did something wrong, but we shouldn't make it even worse. I doubt they would want to see us tormenting ourselves everyday." Hanji said as she is starting to find the courage and light of hope.

"Guide us always" she looked back to her friends again. "I promise to give you something when I get to visit you again." Hanji looked back into Levi who was quiet but solemn as he stared to his former team. She knows it was very heavy on him too because he dealt with the aftermath of it.

The everyday struggle of being tormented of their deaths, being teased, having his two left teammates angry at him even if they don't say it, the humiliation and embarrassment that he had endure while being at school.

Thinking of it, he had it worse. He always did and it breaks her heart just thinking of it. She knows Levi doesn't deserve it but they all got the consequence of what they all have done.

"It's getting dark, we need to go" he tells her and she nodded.

Before they left, she turns back again and whispers, hoping they would hear her, "In our next life, I won't let anything like this happen to you both. I promise."

-x-

Author's Notes:

If you read the manga's latest chapter, fuck it was heart breaking. I can't count the days and night I cried my eyes out.

Anyway, if you're in tumblr, I'm there too so give me a follow.

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I have a diamond photo because R18 stuffs.

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