Hey Everyone!
I want to take this time to explain myself. Hi, yes, hello. I have vanished for 11 months I am completely aware AND I AM SORRY, listen you guys I think about this story everyday. The guilt of not updating haunts me EVERY DAY THAT GOES BY THAT I DON'T UPLOAD AND I TRULY AM SORRY MY PRECIOUS TTML READERS. As you are all unfortunately affected by the world's pandemic in recent months, I had hoped that even throughout all the anxiety I had been dealing with that maybe there was some way where I could find the time to write for you guys! I did have a chapter pre-pandemic, however I ended up re-writing it because the chapter wasn't flowing correctly. But I'm really glad I walked away from the story and came back and re-wrote it because if I posted whatever I wrote before... Let's just say Blue is so grateful I wrote the chapter again LOL!
But what this pandemic has taught me is to take care of yourself. Stop feeling guilty for not completing something when you are not in the right mindset to complete it. Take the time to listen to yourself. Stand up for not only yourself, but for the people around you, and stand up for what's right. Do what makes sense, do what makes you a better person.
I appreciate every single one of you people following my story. Over 1500 still follow and read this story. Fifteen hundred... that's amazing! I'm so honoured and truly privileged to even have an opportunity to be able to share my story with you. I am so grateful of my opportunities to share my art with you all.
TO MY SPECIAL REVIEWERS: River, Love Fiction 2020, WickedlyMinx, fishtrek, gossamermouse101, OneWhoReadsTooMuch, MichellePJB, imokaymj, Sarah Lahey, fingerless, Manifest-the-shiver, Smudgster, hit-or-miss-alyssa, luckwouldhaveit, TwilightNewMoonEclipseMidnight, carried-away5, aprilthirteen13, Freddie4153 and zikashigaku. The fact that you all take time out of your day to leave such a wonderful comment about my story really means a lot to me. If I could send you disinfected boxes of cookies without transporting any potential diseases, I would!
*****SPECIAL NOTE FOR THIS CHAPTER******** So this chapter was originally 16,976 words (UH YEAH I KNOW I MISSED YOU GUYS) but Blue (my editor) convinced me to break the chapter down into two parts. I, personally, wanted to post the whole thing, but Blue made the obvious point that I had kept you guys waiting 11 months for this chapter, it would be cruel to wait another 11 months for the next one. SO PLEASE EXPECT ANOTHER UPDATE FROM TTML WITHIN THE NEXT MONTH! (and everyone please thank Blue for thinking of all of you to have content written in a timely manner THEY ARE AMAZING THANK YOU MY FRIEND)
ALRIGHT, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO:
Enjoy!
P.S. I do not own Criminal Minds
He noticed that the soldier beside him was at ease.
Well, if you could consider a dog who misses his mama at ease, to any degree.
The doctor looked at the proud pooch beside him, sitting tall in his protective vest. He was able to get access to Dexter's military profile, and truly saw how capable the dog was in his ability to serve his country. He was highly regarded in the MPC unit he was stationed in, and he was technically the most successful detection dog in the year he was overseas. By the reaction of the small tactical team assisting the agents, he could tell the quiet dog had quite the reputation. However, one did not have to know his reputation to know that the soldier was ready to work. No amount of distractions or tempting treats would deter the good dog from finding his mama.
Spencer, who took another deep breath, gave a soft pat on the top of his dog's furry head.
"Good boy."
The doctor, on the other hand, was surprised he was so good at pretending his head was screwed on straight.
There was no point in sleeping. He couldn't handle what he saw in his slumber when he woke up to the conscious world. Bottling up his emotions hadn't been the best course of action, but he also wasn't lying to himself about how he was feeling. He felt… broken, and he knew exactly how to fix himself, however, was incapable of doing so. He knew that he was his own person, and his happiness was based on himself, and his own mental health was contingent on him recognizing the signs to take care of himself.
But to know that someone, who meant more than the entire universe, was on the brink of losing her sanity, or her life, for his own safety was driving him mad. He was missing something; he could feel it, even though he had all the variables, all aspects laid in front of him… Yet, there had been something nagging from the back of his head. He somehow knew the importance of the thought poking at him consistently, yet his brain refused to acknowledge it. It was the itch he had not been permitted to think about scratching.
What it was, however, would have to wait.
He had a much important task at hand.
As he took a step forward, he knew his companion would be along side him. He headed straight to his best friends, his family, those he cherished so much more now, with each one of them fully intent on getting to the last person the Doctor needed to be close with, to keep his sanity. Finding a spot between Morgan and Rossi (with Dexter sitting between the Doctor and the author, staring at everyone as if he were being debriefed as well), Spencer looked at the map sitting on the table. The entire team had set up a location not too far from where the manor was. Garcia had picked up on sensors outlining the perimeter of the manor, indicating to the entire team that Bennett had them monitored. This caused the team to be more diligent when creating their plan, understanding how Bennett had his own monitoring system, complete with traps and bombs that could end the lives of multiple people within a certain radius.
"No movement yet?" Hotch asked.
Garcia shook her head. "If Lou, or Emily turn up there, we would know instantly. I know the Manor's a bit far from here, but my babies could hunt down anyone in these woods with their huge range."
"Can we confirm if Tikvah is with them?" Rossi asked, to which Morgan shook his head.
"No. We haven't been able to confirm his whereabouts since he vanished after staying with Reid." The agent responded to the author. "But we can assume he is or will be."
"How will Bennett not know we're coming?" JJ asked.
"I can put a scrambler there to stop the drones." Garcia said, pointing to a certain spot on the map.
"Drones?" Spencer asked, to which Garcia nodded.
"He's got six I know of. The only problem is once I jam Bennett's feed and make his equipment blind, so will all our methods of communication and our ability to see Lou and Emily coming, so we have to wait. You will have to be running towards the Manor without any comms. I'll turn the signal back on once everyone makes it safely."
"Is that the best option? How will you know everyone's safe?" Morgan asked, skeptical.
Garcia looked at him plainly. "I could just leave the drones, and have Bennett know your exact location if that works better for you."
"Oh, you tryna get short with me, lady?"
"I've been short with you, Derek. Why is it taking so long for you to notice?"
Everyone could hear the edge in her tone. Hell, anyone could feel the edge in their tones. Everyone was on alert, their emotions at an all-time high, with just even the slightest change in how one was speaking could set off everyone else. Hotch had been trying to hold it together, but there was only so much he could hold in without it blowing up eventually. Rossi had been rocking his feet, going between the ball and the heel when he was dealt with a frustrating situation (which was technically an old habit of his). JJ had gone to auto-pilot mode, where she had been monotone and fixated at the task at hand. Penelope and Derek with snippy with each other, more so as the frustration began to bubble over between the two of them, with the rest of the team caught in the crossfire.
"Notice what? That you spent the past hour setting up tech when you could have been finding Lou?"
"The tech that was being set up was meant to find her. You know how technology works, right?"
"You make it very apparent." Morgan mumbled.
Garcia's typically glossy lips dropped open, a disbelieving look on her face as she stared at her colleague. Rossi looked at Hotch, who both knew better than to intervene between the two. Not when they were so hot-headed towards one another.
"Beg your pardon?" The tech analyst said slowly.
JJ now had an uncomfortable look on her face.
"I shouldn't have to repeat myself." The special agent said in a frustrated tone.
Spencer was looking rather unsettled as well.
"Are you trying to say I shove technology in other people's faces?"
Even Dexter had the inclination to tuck his ears back.
"I'm saying you make a big deal about making a big deal."
But the one person who managed to keep their composure, was the one person who, usually, never kept her composure.
"Hey!"
Caroline, who had been placed in a bulletproof vest for her own safety, spoke up from her spot. She had been settled on one of the cargo crates, observing the team silently.
"You really think being on each other's nerves right now is the best for Lou?" The redhead said, trying to ignore how heavy the vest felt on her, and how heavy it made her feel internally about the severity of the situation. She was pretending she was on one of Lou's super-secret missions, playing with the idea that it was just her friend needing help in a very secure way. It was the only thought that was keeping Caroline sane.
The two bickering individuals had the decency to look sheepish, both of them stopping in their tracks.
Garcia took a breath, trying to gain some form of composure. "You're right. You're absolutely right."
Derek took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, baby girl."
Penelope smiled. "Same from me."
The technical analyst turned to her dear friend, the Doctor.
"Reid, is Dexter picking up anything new from Lou's scarf?"
The good doctor looked to his furry companion. While Dexter had taken one whiff of Elena's scarf and started howling and shaking at the scent of his mother, he wasn't detecting anything per se, as he didn't start sniffing around for a trail. Garcia was able to pinpoint the last activity on Elena's phone (which had, coincidentally on the day Elena left, been a phone conversation to a number that was programmed internationally for Riyadh) pinging from a local tower. The team settled into an extra farm house loaned out by an elderly couple in the area, and had multiple tactical teams juxtaposed against the casual farmscape. It was perfect for Dexter to get a scent, as this was a close as they could get to finding Elena.
All the extra help that had come from local authorities working with the FBI, plus the team, plus Caroline, and including Dexter, made for a very talented rescue detail. They all had a mission to bring back the Professor, to bring her back home to her books, her tea, her sugar cookies, her office, her home, her dog, her studies, her cases, her family…
They just wanted to bring her back.
And they were hoping Dexter would help.
But in that moment, he was just a scared puppy missing his mother.
Spencer shook his head, giving a good scratch to the soldier.
"No. We can try again later, but right now Dexter needs to calm down. He's too anxious."
Garcia had a small smile before turning to Derek, who shared the same smile. Had this been Spencer six months ago, he wouldn't have registered what that look meant. But he could see by the nuances of their expressions, to see that they had a common knowledge of a meaning behind his words, and that gave them comfort.
"What?" Spencer asked innocently.
Penny kept the smile on her face. "It's just nice to see you grow, Reid. That's all."
Both shared a moment before the technology sitting in front of her had beeped, indicating a new development in her search. Her fingers flew with familiarity over the keys, her eyebrows raising with newfound information. "The minions have found out that there are four places of interest that have not been in contact or been verified by our local authorities. An old nursery recently closed, and three farmhouses, one of them being a farm sanctuary, the others being a dairy farm, and a pecan farm."
"What's got your interest, Garcia?" Hotch asked.
"The nursey and the dairy farm. Both are within range. I think the farmhouse may not be too far from here…"
She turned to look out across the land – large farms had their rows and rows of plants and crops, barrels of hay, and farm life roaming about. Turning back to her screen, she pulled the exact location of the dairy farm up before turning back around, looking out across the pastures.
"There," Garcia said, pointing to an old grey-ish building very far off from where the team had been. "We can clear that area before we head to the nursery."
The team began to rattle off on how to approach the area when Spencer knelt, giving Dexter the best calming scratches, anything he could do to muster up some type of courage within the dog.
"Hey boy," Reid was giving him a good rub on the dog's chest. "I know you miss your mom. I... miss her too, but we have work to do. Your mom always speaks to you like you can formulate appropriate sentences within the English language in a manner which you comprehend-" Spencer realized he was doing the exact same thing, "-so I'm going to talk to you like you get this. Like you understand exactly what's happening." He went into his bag, pulling out his beloved's scarf before showing it to Dexter, hesitantly.
"I know this made you upset. But this needs to help trigger your memory. Can you do this for me? Please?"
The big dog looked up at him with his round eyes, somehow encapsulating a sadness Spencer didn't think an animal could comprehend. The dog looked away slightly before looking back to the man he now chose as his other non-canine parent. Spencer saw Dexter maneuver his body, so he was sitting up straighter, his back legs sitting perfectly parallel from one another, nose held up high, waiting.
It was in that moment Reid, for the first time, experienced intangible, but concrete evidence.
The soldier was ready to work.
He could hear everyone around him talking among themselves, but he didn't care. He didn't care about a lot of things recently. How he probably didn't have a job when he got back stateside if his assumptions were correct. How he didn't care about any other the local authorities making comments about his disheveled appearance. Or how he didn't care that someone who meant more than the entire universe did something that would warrant such a deep anger, who did something that should evoke such a rage from him that would cause him to seek rectification.
But he didn't care.
Because all he cared about was finding a yellow brick road.
Spencer gave the scarf to the working dog to sniff. Dexter put his nose into the fabric, taking multiple whiffs of the beige pashmina. The doctor knew it smelled like his Ellie still – she wore it around for a few hours before the case that placed Kate on early maternity leave (to which Reid breathed a sigh of relief, knowing Kate and the baby were fine). It still had Lou's perfume within the scarf; a wonderful, comfortable smell that he could still get a whiff of from where he held the fabric out to Dexter. It made him happy, knowing that Ellie's intent on giving him comfort when she was not around was tremendously successful.
The dog stopped smelling the scarf, and had sat there, not moving.
"You can do it, boy."
Dexter just continued to stare out in the distance.
Spencer sighed, dejected, before placing the scarf back into his bag.
Morgan came to stand beside the kid and the dog.
Truly looking at the dog without deviating from the canine.
"Anything?" He asked the doctor.
Reid shook his head. "He hasn't cried, which is a good sign."
"You sure?" Morgan's eyes kept looking over the dog.
"I am."
The doctor looked at the agent, noticing that he was calming down from his mood earlier.
He also noticed that the agent couldn't stop staring at the dog.
"Evened things out with Garcia?"
"Hm?" Derek asked, more interest in Dexter. "Yeah, yeah."
"You see something?" Spencer asked, noticing where his friend's attention was directed.
"Reid… Do you not notice the dog?"
"He's sitting there."
"No," Morgan knelt to Dexter's level, and normally Dexter would have turned his head to give his new friend a kiss, but the dog kept looking straight out.
"He's not just sitting. I know you know the dog well, but really look."
That's when Spencer truly looked at Dexter. He noticed that he was quiet, but not unmoving. He was sitting still, but his nose had been twitching slowly, moving bit by bit. As Reid was going to bend down to look at Dexter closer, the wind came through, the warm breeze caressing everyone. Although the breeze was soft and soothing, it was the opposite of how Dexter reacted to the breeze.
The dog suddenly shot from his seated position, somehow finding a path between all the legs surrounding him.
"Dexter!"
Reid shouted, moving past everyone to chase after the bullet otherwise known as Dexter. Morgan followed right after Reid, and soon more and more people had been watching this lightning bolt fly off into the field. It was then his mind clicked into place, realizing that Dexter was heading towards the grey building Garcia had pointed out earlier. With a speed he didn't know he could muster; he ran as best as he could behind the dog, who had found a path unknowingly. He watched Dexter find a spot between a row of bushes, running through them with ease without hitting any branches. He was confused as to how the dog knew exactly where the bush would part.
It was only when he got closer that he realized there had been a muddy path dug up, and smoothed out, as if it were to hide footprints.
Gideon's teachings were in the back of his head. Things that are in front of you that are not put there by nature are something to notice, to take account and consideration. He had to be aware that this was leading him directly where he was supposed to be. Flying past the bushes, he had a hill to go upwards, and when he was making his way down, he noticed that the German Sheppard and Siberian Husky mix had been waiting for him at the bottom, his tail wagging erratically.
"Come on, Dex! Show me!"
The dog launched off again, his legs propelling him closer to the barn. Upon approaching the barn, it had been a vibrant red once upon a time, but the wood now old and faded and mostly grey. Dexter started to slow, his nose swiftly in the ground, to which Spencer realized he was following a specific line in the dirt. His heart began to beat with full force for the first time. Dexter was focused, following a scent that matched the one already within his nose.
He didn't think he would find her so soon.
Dexter was now in the barn, with Spencer not too far behind him. Entering the threshold, Spencer held his disappointment well. She wasn't in there, nor had there been anything left behind. Well, not to the naked eye at least. Dexter was going haywire, sniffing the ground relentlessly. The doctor noticed how analytical the dog was, as he noticed the four-legged soldier sniff out a distinct path, almost smelling where Elena's foot had planted as she walked her strides.
There had been a ladder leading to an upper level, and while Dexter was dexterous at many things, he found it difficult to scale a ladder. Spencer couldn't help but take pity on the pooch before scooping him over his shoulder before heading to the upper level of the barn. When he got to the top of the landing, he expected it to be bare, and it was. He felt himself frustrated, realizing it was too often he was not able to find any clues as to where her location was.
However, he wasn't going to allow himself a repeat of Elena's library.
Sitting Dexter down, the dog began to sniff out the whole floor, with old hay laid on the ground, dried up in patches. Spencer finally registered steps coming up the ladder behind him, to which he turned just in time to see Morgan come up from the ladder, stepping onto the upper floor. He noticed his friend slightly out of breath.
"Reid, where the hell did you learn to run like that?" Morgan had his face covered in disbelief.
The doctor just shrugged. He didn't feel like he was running that fast, nor did he feel any type of strain. He just felt like he was getting closer and closer to finding Elena.
It was the first glimmer of hope he felt in over a week.
"You were right," Spencer said, watching Dexter clear the corners of the platform. "He noticed something."
"Clearly. Dexter's not the type of dog to just sit around, not with something so important at stake."
As if on cue, the dog himself barked up a storm, getting the attention of the two men. Having them both turn to face the dog, the soldier himself sat down beside a small mound of hay, before laying his entire body down, with his ears attentive. Elena had told Spencer multiple times that this was Dexter's way of indicating how the dog wanted attention. Both the men walked towards the dog, with Spencer kneeling down in front of Dexter. He shifted the hay, trying to locate what Dexter had found. He was struggling to weed through what the dog noticed, until he pulled back his hand in slight pain, wincing.
What?
He put his hand back into the pile (more cautiously this time), having his fingers find cold metal that had initially poked him. Pulling out the object, he noticed it was a throwing knife. A very sleek, very sharp throwing knife that was known to be dangerous (evident as Spencer's finger was bleeding just by the sheer graze of the blade hitting his skin). The only explanation that he could find was that Elena had not been good with guns: Emily was probably training her for combat, and she wasn't good with guns, and wanted to make sure that Elena was protected. Especially if Emily wanted to protect Elena from someone who had a history of using knives consistently.
Or… maybe Elena was refusing to use a gun properly?
Elena barely failed at something: she only found another way to succeed. She wouldn't have given up learning how to shoot a gun. She would have learned how to adjust, how to figure out a new way to fire, and aim successfully. Why was it that there was a throwing knife in his hands then, if a gun would protect her better?
Maybe she was avoiding guns on purpose?
Because…
…she…
…wanted…
…revenge?
Or was it that she didn't want to waste a second chance…
Both.
She wants both.
Noah taking her mother pushed her over the edge, and Bennett knew it.
But Reid though that Ellie wouldn't fall into Noah's trap.
The sense of urgency and anxiety increased tenfold.
Dexter's nose found its way onto the knife in Spencer's hand, smelling it thoroughly, before barking again. It confirmed his theory that Elena was focused on learning to throw knives.
Morgan was a bit slower than Reid, but he picked up on the situation.
"That's…" Derek whispered to himself. "…not a baseball bat."
Spencer could only nod, his mind formulating a new plan.
"Emily…" By the sound of his tone, Spencer could hear the formulation of his thoughts. "Emily's putting Lou in the line of fire?"
"I don't think Emily's making that decision," Reid said sadly, spinning the knife in his hand.
"If anything, I'm sure Emily's the reason we're all in this location right now."
He stood up, looking at Dexter, giving him as many scratches as he could behind his perky ears. "Elena probably convinced Emily to give Bennett an even playing field by learning how to handle a blade." Walking away, his eyes went back to the knife in his hand. "But she's probably holding herself back from firearms, which is why the knives are in play."
"Reid…"
Now Morgan's tone was different.
Almost speculating.
"You know something," Morgan came up behind him, with full force. "You have this underlying knowledge of Lou from the second Noah was introduced. You know something that even she doesn't know you know."
Shit.
Spencer was trying to remain as closed off as possible. If the team knew what his actions were behind his motives, he wouldn't be able to complete what he had set out to do.
Morgan would find out he was trying to break away from the team.
The team would expect him to fall back to his reserved status, like he did after Maeve died. He was counting on them to respond to his behavior. Granted, it wasn't hard for Spencer to portray himself as miserable – he was so indescribably unhappy, he barely wanted to stand up – but to portray himself in a miserable manner without being suspicious was difficult, especially with a team of behavioural profilers who constantly know his behavior and know when his behavior changes and why that behavior would change.
He couldn't let the team know he was trying to find Elena before all of them, which had been fairly obvious. He knew that distancing himself from the team would benefit him in locating Elena on his own. But Morgan had been attached to him, concerned that he would return to old behaviour and retreat within himself, which made hiding pertinent information from him that much harder.
The doctor knew from the beginning, when Elena first introduced him to Noah Bennett, that she had tried to remove Bennett from her life permanently. With someone so violently dangerous as Bennett was, with the way that Elena's face had been scared, with the way she was so brazen with protecting Spencer from him… Spencer couldn't make a quicker enough assumption. It was truly obvious.
Hearing that Zion was in the mix only made him more anxious to uncover Elena's plan, only to find out too late that her plan was to leave him to protect him (by ending Noah's ability to harm anyone else), which made that anxiety much worse. On top of that, to find out Zion had been well armed and having conversations with Emily truly upset Spencer to no end. Two well trained spies, both with completely different, yet with equally colourful skillsets, had been most likely training Elena, who was one of the fastest learners he had come across, to teach how to fight… more specifically, how to kill.
He hated Elena's plan, because he knew it required Elena to compromise her life and her well-being.
However, he was indeed only speculating.
But he didn't take guesses.
And Morgan knew that Reid wasn't working off a guess.
"What is it?" He asked.
Spencer sighed before proceeding.
If he could use Morgan to get closer to Elena, he would.
"I think Elena may have been close to killing Bennett previously."
Derek's eyebrows shot up.
"When?"
"Over seven years ago."
"How?"
"I don't know, but I know Zion was involved."
Derek swore under his breath, his hand finding the back of his head for comfort.
"She did this before?" He asked Spencer in disbelief.
The doctor could only nod. "I have no evidence, but I'm certain."
"Reid," Derek was more anxious than he had ever heard him before. "Lou has done this before."
"Yes, Morgan. I've just confirmed this."
Derek was still in disbelief. "You're saying Lou has tried to kill Bennett? And none of us knew?"
It was the truth he was hiding, even from himself, something he hated admitting.
"Unfortunately, yes. I had thought maybe it had been in the heat of the moment, but I think it had been pre-meditated, considering how meticulous Elena is. She would have had a plan, or at least an idea of a plan."
The agent huffed in frustration. "Which is why he wants her dead. She's probably the only one who's been remotely close to stopping him."
Reid could only nod, not able to voice his words.
"What now?" Derek asked, pacing.
Spencer turned to Dexter, who was sitting where the ladder was. If the dog was able to speak, he was practically begging for Spencer to let him down the ladder. Hoisting the dog on his shoulders once more, Spencer diligently held the dog, going down the ladder slowly, until Dexter started squirming from his spot, jumping off of Reid's shoulders to head directly to the opposite end of the abandoned barn. He noticed it was a work shed on the opposite side, and Dexter had already begun sniffing the area.
He felt tired from running, but his body knew that he needed to follow Dexter. The dog was working, and working hard, and Spencer owed it to his companion that he put in the full effort. He owed it to his Professor that he put in the full effort. As much as she pulled away from him, as angry as he was towards her for not listening to him, for lying to him, for not communicating with him after he had asked multiple times for her to talk to him. All that anger was justified, as she kept him in the dark to keep him safe. It was a frustration he hated dealing with, but right now his emotions had not been the most important, it was bringing Elena back that should have his entire focus.
The doors to the work shed were opened completely, with Spencer deducing that the buckets that were currently laying on the ground, prior to which they must have been stacked and propped by the door, before falling to their positions as they were. Dexter was sniffing through the metal when Reid noticed how the buckets actually laid on the grass. It hadn't been as random as he first initially thought it to be.
Upon further inspection, Spencer really got to see what was in front of him.
The buckets were in the shape of a torso, is what he first noticed.
Then a set of arms, followed by a pair of semi-constructed legs, with a small trough acting as a head and neck.
The buckets were made to be in the shape of a man.
A man made of tin.
He… didn't think it was possible.
He thought she was cutting him out…
…Removing him from the plan entirely…
…But this…
This was evidence that contradicted his theory.
His ears went to Dexter's bark, to which Spencer looked and noticed that the dog was sitting by what would have been considered the "right" hand of the tin-man. The closer he got, the more he realized the dog was pointing out a specific bucket. His paw went to the top of it, attempting to grab onto the lip of the base with his paw in order to flip the bucket (but thumbs would have helped). Spencer helped him out half-way, and when the bucket tipped, he couldn't believe his eyes.
The memory flooded his brain in such a powerful manner, tears began to pool in his eyes.
"It was difficult deciding between which one of the Doctors' to choose, but then I thought, I might as well make one that's special for my Doctor."
It was the sonic screwdriver Elena had gifted him for Christmas.
He twirled it with familiarity in his hands. He often played with it whenever Elena and he were sitting on the couch together, or playing chess with one another, or using the laser pointer to play with Dexter as he made the dog run around the house with the little red light. The sonic screwdriver was his most favourite tool that he used, however he often kept it at home in fear of losing the item, especially because Elena had given it to him.
The tears fell from his eyes, realizing if the sonic screwdriver had been there, all the way overseas, that must have meant Elena had it with her. That must have meant that Elena had kept it close to her, to make her feel like her Doctor was right there beside her, protecting her. It was foolish to think she wouldn't find a talisman of her own, not when Spencer so loved the scarf that still belonged to her.
But why leave it?
Why leave it for him?
Was it a way to make sure the screwdriver would end up in safe hands if she ended up—
No.
He refused to think it was a parting gift, a final goodbye.
Elena must have left the screwdriver here for him.
For what purpose?
"Reid!"
Morgan's voice shouted from the barn.
"There's movement outside the Manor!"
[ + ]
"Grandmama, what's this?"
Her boots crunched into the snow softly as she walked slowly through the trees. She remembered the trees, the smell of the bark, the animals jumping branch to branch… the familiarity is the only thing that gave her comfort with each step she took.
"My sweet, are you sure you want to know about that?"
Her brain had been clearer than any other moment recently. She only allowed herself her breaths. She couldn't think of anything. She had to allow herself on autopilot. She had to be a weapon. She had to go in there to accomplish her mission, regardless of the outcome. These were the things she had to do. She had to get her mom back. She had to stop Noah.
She had to get that son of a bitch out of her house.
She took another step through the trees beside her.
"Please, Grandmama, tell me!"
However, Lou always had to be Lou.
"Well, my dear, this is a doorway."
She knew one thing.
Well, she knew a lot more than one thing.
The thing she knew right then was... that she always had to do more than just one thing.
"A doorway to what?"
She pushed away the bushes to make room to walk her path.
Her mind had to multi-task, even in moments such as this.
And to remember such a moment as this, while doing a task such as this…
It gave Lou the determination she didn't know she needed.
"A doorway to a wonderful place called Oz."
It was a grand, golden brown building, short of calling it a castle due to the fact it was lacking an entire wing, with the Victorian architecture remaining (although Lou knew the inside to be fully restructured and remodeled). The structure sat on the hill, adjacent to a giant English oak near the tower of the Manor. Everything was as she remembered, thankfully Douchebag McGee hadn't altered the outside by any means. The integrity of the house was still there, as much as Noah may have tainted it.
At the bottom of the hill, the small lake had still looked clean, with the river running long down the land. Lou remembered how often she used to sit up in the tower and try to see as far as the river could go. Her dad loved the lake – the entire family was fond of being by the water, but her father was an avid swimmer, and insisted they had a family home by the water. It was a commonality between Lou and her father, and when they would have a fight, one or the other (most often Lou) would walk down to the end of the dock and sit there for the other person (most often her dad) to come sit beside her so they could resolve their fights. It was rare that they did resolve their fights, but when they did stop, they always found that bit of calm by the water.
She knew she had to be quick. Noah had to be expecting her.
There was no way she was going to be sly when approaching the Manor, which is what she was expecting. If she ran straight, she could follow the shoreline to the left of her, and she would be able to get in through the back mudroom. She knew how to shimmy the window quickly to let herself in. Noah had been waiting for her, and she knew the sooner she was away from the open space, without cover from the sniper himself, she would be safe. Thankfully, she learned how to run a bit faster, thanks to Emily (and by 'a bit' she meant she knew the proper way to run, she couldn't magically train her body to be faster within the span of a week). She, also, had the home field advantage, which she wanted to use for her benefit.
She knew every tree in the vicinity. She knew every branch, how far it reached, which branch was the best one to connect to another tree… she knew everything about the wooden walls that encapsulated her home, the green fence that was the border of her fantasy world. This was her Emerald City, the capital of her life, no matter where she was. She knew all the smoke and mirrors and all the tricks. She learned it from the Wizard. Everything she needed to know; it came down from his teachings. She was always Daddy's Little Lou-Bear, protecting everyone around her no matter the cost by the knowledge her father provided.
Because he knew she would be the better version of him.
Lou crouched into a runner's stance, getting ready to propel herself forward. Emily told her this was the best way for her to gain as much momentum as she could if she didn't want to bring any attention towards her. With her eyes focused on the window in the distance, she removed any and all distraction, tuning into her surroundings while never deviating from her focal point. With a deep breath, and her gloved hands in the dirt, she counted it out in her head.
One.
Two.
Three.
Let's go to Oz.
With the largest push she could muster, she broke from the trees, running faster than she thought possible. She could hear the water slowly moving downstream as she sped by the shore, knowing that she was now halfway. She was watching all of her surroundings, looking to find if Noah had been perched somewhere high up. When she noticed an electronic device floating in the air far from her, she deduced that someone had been watching her. She didn't have enough time to register what the item was, as she approached the window to the mudroom, sliding it quickly before heading into the room and shutting the window behind her, slowly walking into the Manor.
She forgot how much her mother loved the colour green.
If Lou loved her pinks, her mother adored her reds. But Good Lord, Lou was struck with all the memories of her mother making the den a dark forest green and referring to the dining room as the Mint Room. It left Lou reeling from all the memories, remembering how she was perfectly okay if her mother turned her home into her favourite bedtime story. Now the entire house had thankfully not been the Earthy shade (thankfully), but it was easy to see why Lou, when she had been little, would often refer to the home as Oz, until she had been old enough to despise the place and begin to refer to it as the Manor. She zipped by the electric green pantry, fully aware that she may have been watched by Noah. Lou was waiting for him to make an appearance, and he did not fall short.
"Elena!"
She froze where she was.
She wasn't used to hearing her name said like that.
Because the one person who called her Elena did not sound like that.
Not like Doctor Spencer Reid.
She knew he was saying it on purpose. Her Doctor was the only person to be able to call her 'Elena'. She ignored him, figuring out Noah was standing at the top of the steps in the front foyer. It was one of the two spots in the house that could be heard from anywhere in the Manor (Lou knew the Manor well enough to know there were three spots, but one of which was technically not in the Manor), as the architecture of the house was able to allow for echoes within the home. From how close Noah sounded, he had been allowing his boisterous voice to echo off the century old marble.
"Caught your attention, didn't I?"
She heard him take a step down a stair, which concluded he was indeed walking down the front foyer steps.
It bought her two minutes.
"I was hoping you would use the front door. Inconsiderate to be sneaking in from the side, no?"
The second spot that could be heard from anywhere in the house was in the library, on the second story platform that housed her father's classic books. If she could use that alternate entrance to the library by going past the pistachio coloured kitchen, the game room (not green), her father's office, and entering the library platform through her old study room via the trapdoor behind her old desk. It was the only way she could talk to Noah without her knowing where she was. Well, she assumed that Noah wouldn't know where she was, but she knew he was smart – if he figured his voice carried in the foyer, he would have figured it carried in the library. If he was playing his cards right, he wanted Lou in the library, so they could both speak to each other at a "safe" distance.
But then again, it was too convenient for her to be heading to the library. It was putting Lou directly into a trap, if he had one planned.
It was a chance she had to take.
She had to get his full attention.
Lou was nimble when she was zipping through her home. She still remembered which floorboard creaked, which tile was loose, anything that would tip off Noah to her exact location had to be accounted for.
"Oh, E-len-a, where are you hiding?"
She slid through the kitchen, considering any cameras in the room, before heading past the game room, swinging around the red pool table to head to the left door, leading into her father's study.
"Ah, you got quiet on me again."
His comment made Lou pause, the anger bubbling viciously and quickly.
That was one of his comments he used to use to manipulate her into speaking to him.
She felt the stark contrast between both Noah and Spencer in that moment.
When Lou had gone quiet when she was with Noah all those years ago (as a result of insulting her or being demeaning towards her), he would guilt trip her into speaking to him, or manipulate her into submitting to what he wanted, which was her undivided attention and devotion. But Lou went quiet to get some form of power from Noah, to gain some autonomy from the individual abusing her. But Noah didn't want Lou to have any power. She remembered his hands on the back of her neck, she remembered the pressure he would apply there to get her to submit. He knew the pressure point that would cause her to writhe in pain or cause her so much stress that her nose would bleed for hours. He did anything to her just so she could have a conversation with her.
But with Spencer… when she went quiet out of fear when Noah first entered back into her life, he didn't push her. He gave her the space she needed. For two whole weeks, he kept trying to talk to her, never getting angry with her for being quiet. They were able to resolve what was keeping Lou from speaking. While Spencer got frustrated with her towards the end, and he did raise his voice at her when they were finally gaining resolution, he apologized afterwards. He told her it was unacceptable for him to have lost his anger on her, showing his frustration towards her when he should have processed it in a healthy manner. He promised her that he would proactively work on handling his own frustrations, and after that one instance, Spencer had never raised his voice towards her.
The stark difference between the two was more than enough evidence to see who truly deserved to hear her speak.
The gut feeling inside of her stabbed relentlessly, reminding her the one person who did deserve to hear her speak wasn't the one she was going to speak to.
She realized she had been standing in her father's study and noticed that nothing had been out of place since she had last been in the home four years ago. It was dusty beyond compare, something her mother would hate, but the layer of filth couldn't hide the small pink bat sitting on the shelf of her father's accomplishments. It was one of her bats from little league, and it gave Lou a sense of relief to see the bat. As if it were a muscle memory, she walked up the shelf, grabbed the child-size bat, and ran towards her old study room.
"O-kay, fine. I concede. I will call you Lou."
She quietly lifted the armchair in the corner, placing it down just wide enough so she could open the trapdoor, crouch down, and sneak her body in, easily able to shut the door behind her and inadvertently bringing the chair closer to the door to seal her in. She followed the seam of the wall down the dark corridor, not caring for any critters lurking about, until she found the old latch. Giving it a soft tug, the bookshelf in front of her slid open, giving off a soft sliver of light. She pushed the bookshelf open, the smell of old musty vanilla hitting her nose, realizing it was the old fragrance she loved.
The library.
All the books were still there, maybe one or two missing, she couldn't tell from that high up. The railings were still the old iron wrought fencing all throughout the platform. The sitting chairs had still been there, all of her mother's trinkets and collectibles still adored throughout the library. It reminded her of a simpler time, a time where Lou still did keep pigtails in her hair, finding three new books everyday because she couldn't just read one. It overwhelmed her to be in that room in that moment, to be in a room that used to give her so much relief and peace, now only filled her with anxiety, sorrow, and hate.
But what truly startled her was that sitting among all of Noah's inconsiderate amount of technology, all of the damn machinery at his control, was her Grandmama's reading chair had been used to keep Noah comfortable.
"Come on, don't be so coy Lucille."
No…
She forgot about talking to Noah from the platform.
She could care less about distracting him in that moment.
Lou ran down the stairs as quietly as she could, heading straight for the chair. She overlooked it quickly, noticing that he had thankfully not destroyed the armchair. But she knew Douchebag McGee was using it on purpose, to invoke a pettiness within her, to get a response that would please him. She held her frustration, dropping the small pink bat onto the desk, taking a moment to appreciate that a piece of her Grandmama was still surviving.
She took a moment to run her hands along the golden thread, trying to steal some of her grandmother's strength from the chair.
I'm sorry Grandmama, I should have never let him into our lives.
She needed to end Noah's terror. He had been taking residency in her home, within her memories.
She was done allowing him to occupy a place in her life.
"Little Lou…"
His mean comment snapped her back into focus.
There were many people in Lou's life that could get away with calling her a nickname.
Derek.
Penelope.
Henry.
Caroline.
Zion.
Her grandmother.
Her father.
Her mother.
Spencer.
But him…
How dare that son of a bitch call me that.
Looking up from the chair, her attention went the screens monitoring the entire manor, taking up the old mahogany table that her father used to use for his study. She was ready to dismantle his entire security system, to blind him from having an advantage over, when her hands stopped where they were.
Her eyes flashed in horror when she saw what was in front of her.
Mom…
Her mother's figure had been in the grand dining room, where the tables and chairs had been strewn to the side. She had laid in the back of the room, clearly chained up and filthy. Lou could see her mother wasn't moving, but she could only hope she was breathing.
She's here…
She didn't think Noah would be so predictable.
She put her finger to her ear, pressing the small button on the receiver sitting in the canal.
"Glinda is in the grand dining room," Lou whispered. "East side."
"Got it." Emily's voice rang out. "Retrieving now."
"Well."
Lou heard Noah's voice.
Only this time it hadn't echoed throughout the whole house.
She heard his voice from in front of her.
He had been twenty-two feet away from her if she calculated correctly. He had been leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, attempting to look aloof. But Lou could see he had been itching to get closer to her, dying to realize that she was mere steps away from his grasp, and he was slowly approaching, like a lion to a prey.
"I knew you were coming to the manor to try to stop me."
Lou already slid a knife into her hand.
Waiting for him to react.
"However…"
He uncrossed his arms, slowly walking towards Lou.
Ready to have his… fun with her.
"I didn't think you would make this easy for me."
Next Time: "LOU!"