(A/N): I was given the prompt "I needed you" and changed it to "You needed me" and broke my own heart! Enjoy!

089: Through the Fire

It was Will's first Gathering now that he was back from Skandia, and he had to admit—he hadn't realized how much he missed the family that he'd found within the Ranger Corps.

When he and Halt had walked into the clearing, the Rangers that had already been there swarmed them, laughing and hugging and surrounding Will in some of the most caring, affectionate smothering of love that he'd ever experienced. Apparently, nearly every single Ranger had gone to Crowley after Halt had been banished, putting up a fuss with both the commandant (who hadn't been able to control the proceedings of Halt's sentencing at all) and the King, who just looked at Crowley like this was all his fault.

Now that the two of them were back though, all the Rangers had stopped 'hating' on Crowley, allowing him to finally say his piece. They promptly shut him up, though, not caring anymore about Halt being banished—they were just happy that the grizzled Ranger was back, and that he'd been successful in bringing his apprentice back with him. They had quite liked the kid, and could tell that he meant a lot to Halt.

It was only after the crowd had dispersed, the Rangers all heading back to their campsites to allow Will and Halt some time alone, that Will realized that Gilan had been at the Gathering the entire time and hadn't come up to them.

Will hadn't seen Gilan since the tall Ranger had left him, Horace, and Cassandra by themselves in Celtica, and had missed the lanky Ranger that he'd started to see as a brother. But for whatever reason, Gilan hadn't come forward when they arrived at the Gathering, instead disappearing further into the shadows of the forest around them, avoiding the two of them like the plague.

"Halt?" Will turned to his mentor, his voice soft and light where it was still getting used to being used. Sure he'd used it fairly often during the battle for Skandia, but the fact remained that it had been instilled in Will to be silent unless spoken to as a slave. He was still getting back into his habit of asking his mentor questions when he had them.

"Yeah?" Halt responded, turning from where he'd been patching a rip in his cloak. "Everything alright?"

Will hesitated to answer that question for a moment, not sure if this constituted as 'being alright.' But either way, he wanted to know the answer, and he knew Halt wouldn't punish him for asking, even if the thought that he needed to be quiet kept whispering in the back of his head. "Do you know if Gilan's okay? I've seen him around, but he hasn't ... he hasn't joined us like he did before."

Halt paused, studying his apprentice. He had an idea as to why Gilan seemed to be avoiding them, but he wasn't entirely sure. Glancing over his shoulder, he could just make out his former apprentice sitting at a small campfire by himself on the other side of the Gathering grounds. The other Rangers, surprisingly, hadn't tried to approach him either, leaving him to his own devices the entire time. It was as if they already knew what was going on and were waiting to see what would come of it, knowing that any interference probably wouldn't end well.

"I'm not sure," Halt answered honestly, "but I have a feeling it might help if someone asked him," he said carefully. He didn't want to seem like he was forcing Will to do anything, but he still thought that it might be best if Will went over to Gilan by himself. Gilan would react differently to Halt confronting him about it than if Will did it.

He watched as Will glanced over his own shoulder to where Gilan sat, all alone except for Blaze. Will seemed to take a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever he was planning. "Should I ..." Will trailed off, turning to look back at Halt.

Halt shrugged though, wanting Will to decide this for himself. "That's up to you, Will." Then Halt paused, thinking if being completely neutral would even help the situation. "But I do think someone needs to talk to him," he added on, deciding that that would be the best route to take—acknowledging that something was wrong, but not forcing Will to take charge of it if he didn't feel that he could.

Will was silent, staring over his shoulder at Gilan. Other fires were starting around the Gathering Grounds where other groups of Rangers were coming together. He saw Crowley finish talking to another Ranger and start making his way in their direction. Other Rangers were talking or laughing, apprentices were bundled away in their own groups, separate from their mentors. They had invited Will over, but, still feeling off, he had declined. But during all of this, he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of Gilan.

"I'll …" Will stood from his spot, then paused. "I'll be right back," he said simply. Then, he started towards Gilan, going along the side of the clearing and moving with the shadows naturally. Halt lost sight of his apprentice after a few meters, and he nodded to himself, satisfied that something was going to happen with Gilan. It was about damn time, Halt thought, recalling Crowley's comment on how broken up Gilan had been when Will was brought up. This needs to get sorted out.

Across the clearing, Gilan sat silently, staring into the fire and losing track of the time. He had considered skipping this Gathering when he first got the date from Crowley, thinking of any and all excuses that would get him out of it. But he also knew that Crowley wouldn't let him skip out on the Gathering. Not with Halt and Will being back.

… Will.

Gilan shifted in his seat, itching to get up and get out of there. Blaze was standing right next to him, literally, so nothing was stopping him from getting up and leaving in that moment. He could probably get away with no one noticing for the night, if he did it right. It was tempting, tempting enough that Gilan started mentally collecting his things, calculating how stealthy he'd have to be in packing his things away and saddling Blaze back up. If he did things slowly, waited for most of the others to fall asleep, he could probably slip away into the forest. It would be easy—it would be safe.

"Gilan?" the familiar voice broke through his daydream, shocking him back into the very, very upsetting reality that he was in. Obviously, he hadn't been paying attention, because now the very last person he wanted to see was standing only a few feet from him.

Will looked at him dead on, not allowing him to look away without feeling weird.

Not wanting to appear off to Will, Gilan sat up in his seat and back at the fire. "Yeah?" he said as carelessly as possible.

"Are you … okay?" Will asked bluntly. He watched Gilan openly, the curiosity and worry in his eyes so obvious that Gilan felt overwhelmed by it. Had he really seemed so off to Will that he had come over here to ask?

"Well—yeah, I'm fine," he said, laughing stiffly, "Never better in fact, now that you ask."

Will, for his part, didn't seem convinced. He tipped his head as he watched Gilan, almost like a dog, and that small fact nearly broken the Ranger's heart again after everything that had happened. For a minute, Will and Gilan looked at one another, silently considering the other. Gilan thought that maybe, just maybe, Will would let it go and head back to where he and Halt had settled down. But instead, Will said the last thing that Gilan expected he would say.

"You … you're lying, Gil."

The silence stretched between the two of them, Gilan's eyes wide and shocked at Will's statement, and Will still silently considering the lanky Ranger in front of him.

"And why would you say that?" Gilan finally said, scoffing at the statement. Maybe he was lying, but Will had no way of knowing that, and didn't need to go butting himself into his business like—

"Because, Gil, you're acting weird. You didn't wait up for me and Halt when we were coming to the Gathering, when we got here you didn't even say 'hi,' and now you're," Will gestured wildly at the small campsite the two of them were in, "you're camping by yourself instead of with us, like you used to do. Before—"

"Before what, Will?" Gilan finally snapped, breaking into the boy's tirade. No doubt, Halt had sent him over, assuming he would let the kid off easy, and not get mad at him.

"Before Celtica, and—and Skandia, Gilan. What's wrong? Did I do something wrong? Is it something I did?" Will finally asked, his voice rising slightly as he realized how upset this actually made him. He hadn't seen Gilan for how long? And he was acting like it didn't matter? Or that he didn't care? At first Will figured Gilan was just working through something, but now that Will put his feelings out in the open he realized what was actually wrong: Gilan was mad at him for some reason, probably for getting caught. He wanted to know what he could do to fix it, because even if he did fight as much as he could when they were caught, the fact remained that he had been caught.

"No!" Gilan said, springing up from his spot at the fire. He took a step towards Will, hands coming out to land on the boy's shoulders, but then stopped himself before he could do that. Halt had mentioned in a letter that Will was still struggling with people touching him, and Gilan didn't want to make anything worse for him. "No, Will, I'm not—it's not anything you did. Really, it's not."

Will threw his hands up in the air, tears pricking the corner of his eyes. "Then what's wrong Gilan? Because really, it seems like I did something, and I just want to know how I can fix it. I hate whatevers going on between us, since it's obviously me and not Halt, considering how much you two were sending letters back and forth. I just want to know what I did, I—"

"It's not you, Will," Gilan broke in, his heart clenching at seeing the tears start sliding down Will's cheeks. Thankfully, he'd set up his camp fairly far from the rest of the Rangers, so it was unlikely someone could hear what was going on. But for once, Gilan wished that someone else was here to tell him what to do—he didn't exactly know that well how to deal with crying teenagers. "It's—it's me, believe me. I—listen," Gilan closed his eyes, knowing that, to sooth Will's thoughts, he would have to come out and say it. He hesitated, though, looking at the kid in front of him. Will had gone through so much in the year or so that he'd been gone, and Gilan hated that. He moved to sit back down where he'd been on the ground, motioning for Will to sit beside him.

It took a moment, but Will did. He let his legs fold in on themselves, his cloak pooling around him like a shadow.

Gilan took a deep breath, reaching out and leaving his hand palm up for Will to take. Again, it took him a minute to come around to it, but eventually he took Gilan's hand—it was so much more worn than his hand had the right to be, especially him being sixteen—seventeen?—and only so far into his apprenticeship. Even then, they were worn and calloused in the wrong places, not on the fingers or the knuckles, but scarred where ropes and worn into them.

"I left you, Will, back in Celtica," Gilan breathed, his voice coming out barely audible. "I left you, assuming you and Horace and Cassandra would be okay, but … but you weren't. You needed me … and I wasn't there." Gilan closed his eyes, feeling his own tears slipping from his eyes and sliding down his cheeks. Absently, he squeezed Will's hand, staring at their entwined fingers. For a while, before Halt had left to find Will … he had assumed he would never see Will again.

And that the boy's capture was all his fault.

"Gil …" Will finally said, his voice hauntingly soft. It cracked, causing Gilan to look up from where he'd been once again staring into the fire, thinking of the bridge that Will had risked everything to burn. "It wasn't your fault," he said quietly.

Then, he smiled. It was barely a hint of what his smiles used to be like, but it was still enough of a smile, enough of a familiar smile that seeing it broke Gilan. He didn't try to stop the tears this time, letting them fall freely.

He laughed again, an out-of-place, forced laugh that sounded terrible even to his ears. "Can I hug you?" he asked.

Will smiled again, wider this time. And he nodded.