Jayce POV
Another night with nightmares, panic attacks, and little sleep, but I have to see how J.R. is doing. Hound doesn't even insist I go back to bed and check on her later, nor does he stop me from going down to the medbay. Instead, he follows me. Cade doesn't stop me as we pass each other. I didn't look back to see if he's now following me.
I went right to Drift when I walked into the room. I was aware this could be a dumb move as he could tell me to leave, but he put me on his lap and hugged me as we watched J.R. try to eat, hoping she could eat more today. Cade and Hound stood by the door.
"Thanks for the audience," J.R. sarcastically says when she finished; everyone but J.R. laughed. "They followed me," I say, pointing to Cade and Hound.
"Ok, J.R., I'll be back in a bit," Cade says and leaves the room with Hound.
Crosshairs waited two minutes before giving J.R. more nutrition drink. I hated watching him as he added a small amount of the liquid to the syringe. Not as bad as seeing J.R. feel weak that Crosshairs has to hold her up.
"I'm sorry," I mumble before getting off Drift and leaving the room.

No one is around, so I walked to the garage and got my motorcycle. I have to get away from the property before starting the engine, or someone will hear me.
"Where are you going?" Drift asks as I started walking my bike out of the garage.
Shit. I can't just jump on my bike and ride out of here. Drift's alt mode is behind me. He'll be able to catch up to me. Hound runs into the garage, about to run towards me when Drift stops him. The two walk up to me, I can't get my legs to move.
"What's wrong?" Drift asks as he removes my helmet, putting it on the hood of Crosshairs' alt mode. Hound walks past me and moves my bike to the spot I had it. Why even tell him what's bothering me? I know him too well, I know what he'd say, "I think some time away is what you need," Drift says, "but not alone."
Great, I know he'll make me talk about what's bothering me.

Crosshairs POV

"It's ok; you'll feel better soon," I assured J.R. while moving in a slow rocking motion as she cries. She threw up again, and it upsets her. The slow rocking seems to help calm her, but I need to be careful so she doesn't throw up again. Cade comes back in the room, not liking what he's seeing. Didn't think he meant he'd be back in fifteen minutes. He sits on the chair by the bed but says nothing. My phone vibrates, but I can't retrieve it from my pocket. I suspect it's Drift telling me something about Jayce since he followed her out of the room. J.R. is calm enough that I can lie her down. I lay with her and rub her back until she falls asleep ten minutes later.
"You sure this is ok?" I asked Cade as I cleaned up the table.
"Yeah, but if you want, I can-."
"Disgusting, Cade."
"ok, fine, I'll send Bulma a message," Cade says as he takes out his phone. I forgot I had a message. As I thought, it's from Drift. He took Jayce out for breakfast though he's thinking of keeping her away from the base all day.
With J.R. asleep, I went to Jamie's room. Bumblebee sat at the desk. I told him I'd stay with Jamie since J.R. is asleep.

Drift POV

Something new is bothering Jayce. She already has enough on her mind, and not telling any of us what else is bothering her isn't good. I know she will end up crying, so I will wait until after breakfast to talk to her. She said nothing as we ate and on the drive to the lake. The problem is Jayce is afraid to talk about what's on her mind, afraid she'll end up with a panic attack or pseudoseizure. Unfortunately, even not talking about what's happening n her mind causes a panic attack. Either way, she will be distraught, but talking about it will help her more. Since I don't know how she'll respond to the conversation, I need to make sure she'll be safe if the response is a seizure. Easy enough since it's cold out.

She tells me she feels responsible for J.R.'s current condition as she has been thinking Jamie will kill herself, and J.R. found out and how Jayce herself wants to die. I don't know what bothered me more; What she's been thinking the past twenty-four hours or how she told me she still wants to die. I loved her onto my lap and hugged her as she cried, hoping she doesn't have a seizure.
"Shh, it's ok. Everything will be ok."
What are we going to do about this?

Figured Jayce would fall asleep. After I put her back to bed, I went to the medbay. J.R. is also asleep. Good, now Crosshairs and I can talk about what Jayce told me.
"Unbelievable, these two are struggling. Funny, the one we worried about has been doing ok," Crosshairs laughed.
Crosshairs tells me about J.R.'s struggle to have more than 200 ml of the nutrition drink before throwing it all up. He worries we'll have to resort to tube feeding.
"What can we do at this point?" I ask while feeling how warm J.R. is, "how long before Jamie struggles like Jayce and J.R.?"
"I don't think Jamie will be as bad. She's been dealing with this shit for years."
"What if she thinks about suicide?" I didn't even bother hiding how terrified I am.
"You still have that nightmare?' Crosshairs asks, concerned.
"Yes," I say in a sad tone.

Crosshairs POV

I'm not sure what to think about this besides have I not been paying close attention? I've been focused on J.R. Drift can't be too concerned if he's leaving Jamie with one of the others.
"You want to stay here for a while, and I'll stay with Jamie? J.R. will be asleep for at least two hours."
Drift agreed; I left the room and went upstairs, stopping in Jayce's room. Hound is in the room. He wasn't pleased no one was in the room though Drift just came back with her twenty minutes ago.
"I don't care; you know what she can do in that time?" He snapped.
He's right, but Jayce wouldn't fake sleeping to be left alone, she's too exhausted to do that. With that, I left the room and went to Jamie's room. Jamie is still asleep. I lie on the bed beside her, leaving a little space between us. Thinking about how worried Drift is about her. It's understandable considering how Jayce and J.R. have been in the past three months.

Fifteen minutes pass before Jamie wakes up. I waste no time telling her Drift is with J.R. I wanted to spend time with her since I have been focused on J.R. and that J.R. is asleep. After what Drift said, I'm now focusing closely on Jamie. She doesn't seem bothered by not waking up to Drift next to her though that's been the routine the past three months. I know she's concerned about J.R. and knows J.R. needs more attention right now. I'm a little bothered by how Jamie doesn't ask how J.R. is doing. Strange yesterday she was distraught over finding out J.R. has an infection to not asking how she is. I left the room to give Jamie privacy as she got dressed, taking the time to text Drift, asking if I should let Jamie go to the medbay if she wants. He said to let her. J.R. is doing a little better, and we can avoid Jamie finding out J.R. can't keep much down. I let Jamie decide what to do. She wanted to do some recording, which is good. I left her alone and returned to the medbay.

I did not expect Drift would be concerned I came back to the medbay.
"Would I be back here if there's a problem?" I pointed out, "Jamie wanted to do some recording. She didn't seem too bothered that you weren't there when she woke up. I don't know if I should be bothered that she didn't ask about J.R."
"She knows about this type of infection though I suspect J.R.'s inability to keep anything down isn't related to the infection. Cade has informed Bulma, and she hasn't said this is a concern, at least not yet."
Everything is fine, J.R. is slowly getting better, but the fear she could get worse sits at the back of my mind. We're not sure if this scared Jayce that she won't try to end her life.

Drift would check on Jamie every twenty minutes until J.R. woke up two hours later. Though I told him there's not much he can do to help me with J.R., Drift wanted to stay. I think he wanted to see how much she could eat. J.R. refused when I said I wanted to feed her though she knows what we'll have to do.
"I already told you, I don't care I have to do this or if you throw up." I sat on the bed and held her; she wasn't crying, but tears rolled down her face.

J.R. POV

This is so embarrassing. I am a warrior and shouldn't need help like this. I can't do anything but cry. Even though this is embarrassing, I agree with Crosshairs; I don't need a feeding tube, nor do I want it. If this is how Jamie feels, knowing how much care she needs during any level of a flare-up, she does a good job hiding it.
"Wait a little while," Drift says as he wiped the tears from my eyes, "but Crosshairs is right; none of us care if we have to take care of you, Jayce or Jamie like this. You know how much we have to think about Jamie's illness. Optimus Prime could have limited her involvement in the war."
Drift is right. Optimus could have told her she can't be on the battlefield, knowing how unpredictable her illness is. He knows he risks her going through a flare-up in the middle of battle.
"Let's bring her to the couch so she can watch T.V.," Crosshairs suggests, "doubt Cade will be mad. Just have to be careful with the IV."
"You want to go watch T.V.?" Drift asked.
Though I'm not sure how I'll feel as I'm being carried to the area, I nodded in agreement.

I hate the amount of work needed to get me to the couch and position the IV Pole and line. Sure enough, once they got everything right, I had to throw up. Crosshairs sat me up so I could throw up in the bucket Drift brought. I didn't even eat anything yet. Now I'm getting worried, but any damage to my organs would have been discovered soon after they found me in my room. The cut would be deeper, and I'd have internal bleeding. Crosshairs moved me to his lap once I stopped throwing up. Drift left to clean the bucket.
"It's ok," he says as I cry.
"What happened?" Cade asked. He didn't sound bothered that Crosshairs and Drift brought me out of the medbay. Crosshairs tells him what happened.
"Let me look at the wound," Cade insisted. I pushed his hand away.
"No," I cried.
Cade walked away as Drift sat next to Crosshairs and asked if I was in pain. I lied and told them no. Being moved caused pain through it's barrable. I know Cade touching the wound will worsen the pain. Cade comes back with an IV bag with medication for pain and fever.

Jayce comes by a half-hour later and sits next to Drift. I'm still on Crosshairs' lap, my head resting in a pillow that's on the couch armrest. I think the IV Pole with two different medications is scaring her though she should know what they are. Drift had to tell her what the drugs are. "I'm sorry, I did this to you," Jayce says as tears roll down her face.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused, and hoping Drift would stop her. I worry she will get distraught and have a seizure, but Drift let her continue.
"If you didn't know I wanted to die, if you weren't worried about me to the point of thinking of trying to die first..."
What I didn't want to happen is happening. Drift carefully positioned Jayce, so she's lying on the couch and knelt on the floor to keep her from rolling off the couch. Crosshairs sat me up in a hug as I cried. It's scary watching these seizures. What else is she keeping bottled up? Why does she have these damn seizures, but I don't though I keep things bottled up a lot more than she does? "Shh, she'll be ok," Crosshairs tried to comfort me.
"Why does she have these fucking seizures, but I don't?" I sobbed.
Crosshairs said nothing; he tightened his hug and rubbed my back. I watch Cade walking over, but he turned around and headed to the direction of the medbay.
This seizure lasts two minutes, and as I feared, Jayce didn't wake up right away. Saying nothing, Drift picks Jayce up and takes her to the medbay.
"What happened?" I hear Hound ask.
"Not now, help me," Crosshairs demanded.
Hound wheeled the IV pole as Crosshairs carried me back to the medbay. I tried to get Crosshairs to put me down so I can get to Jayce's bed.
"Stop, she's ok," he says as he walks towards the bed, Hound following. Drift is sitting by the bed. He has Crosshairs put me on his lap—crosshairs sits on the chair beside Drift. Hound leans on the wall by the chairs. Drift makes me look at him.
'"She'll be ok, worrying about her isn't helping you."
Afraid I might have a seizure myself, I didn't repeat the question I asked Crosshairs, I leaned on Drift and hugged him. Why do we have to deal with this shit? Not as bad as watching Jamie fight for her life, but this is still shit. I fear Jayce will have to stop going on adventures with Jamie and me.