Chapter 48

fair warning: smut included in this chapter

"Aaron?", Emily said, waiting a little before speaking again. "Honey, can you look at me?"

He sighed and closed his eyes, turning his head to face hers and opened his eyes again, meeting hers. His right hand still holding her left and stroking it, she brought her free one up to his face and held it there. Bringing their tone of voice down to soft and quiet.

"Are you okay?", she asked.

"I don't really know what to say...", he told her.

"Okay. How about I start?", she suggested, bringing her hand around to the back of his head and lightly scratched it, massaging it, in hopes to calm him down and soothe him. It seemed to be working when he closed his eyes and nodded his head.

"We were at the bar, having fun, playing some darts, drinking, talking. And she just randomly asked me how you were. And I just repeated your name, your last name and she said I probably call you Aaron now. I asked her why I would do that and she said it'd be pretty weird for me to call my boyfriend by his last name. I didn't say anything other than "what?" and then she went on saying she knew there was something going on for a while now but didn't know what. But she saw us hug in New Orleans and then put all the pieces together I guess and... everything she said... she was very sure about and I couldn't deny it or argue with it. She told me she wasn't going to tell anyone and no one else knew. She's my best friend... other than you. So we just talked about it and I started from the very beginning. Overall, we ended up talking about everything and I told her a bunch of stories and she loved to hear them all. She's happy for us. It's a good thing. And...", she started as she leaned her forehead onto his, still rubbing the back of his head, his eyes still closed. "... I showed her the picture of us together and she thinks we're very cute together.", she smiled and placed a kiss on his forehead, returning hers back to his. "She even suggested we go out with her and Will some time when he's in town next... It's all okay.", she whispered the last part.

He took a deep breath in through his nose and let it out when he whispered, "Okay."

"Okay? Really? You're not upset?", she asked.

He pulled his head back and opened his eyes to look at her. "Emily... there's nothing to do about it. She knows. I trust her. Just like I told you on your first day at work. I trust my team. And she's your friend and you trust her. And I trust you. Maybe... it's good she knows.", he said.

"Really?", she asked.

"Like you said, she's your best friend. I wouldn't expect you to keep it a secret from her forever. I mean, I don't know what to do about the rest of the team. I definitely don't think we should say anything to anyone else but I think it's good you have a friend who knows. I do. And I've thought about it before. How it sucks that I get to have a friend who knows and we hung out but you didn't. So... yeah. Maybe it's not a bad thing. I think we should definitely be more careful now with work but as long as JJ is okay and you're okay... then I'm okay. You are okay, aren't you?", he asked.

"Yeah. I am. Especially now that you are and we talked about it. I thought you were gonna be really mad.", she chuckled quietly.

He squeezed her hand tight and brought it up to hold with both his hands. "Why would I be mad?", he asked.

"Because JJ found out and you didn't want anyone to and I didn't want you to worry about our jobs being in jeopardy even though they aren't. And...", she looked down.

"And what, Em?", he asked and brought his head down to hers.

"And I thought that maybe... it would scare you away.", she brought her head back up to look at him.

"Ohhhh, sweetie... you could never scare me off.", he scooted closer until their sides were pressed against each other's and wrapped his arm behind her, pulling her in more. "Nothing you could ever do, would make me want to leave. Besides, this wasn't even you. JJ figured it out. Don't feel bad about any of it. We probably could've even told her sooner. I guess... I just wanted to be sure that we were serious? I don't know. Maybe not serious. I already knew I loved you before we were in a relationship but maybe I wanted to make sure we were going to stay in one. We've had so many ups and downs and I wanted to be sure we were stable and in a good place this time. I used to be scared about so many things before we were together and I don't want to be anymore. I don't want to be scared that you might be mad at me and decide to not talk to me for a while and it wouldn't matter anyways because we just work together and have no commitment to talk about it or work it out. I don't want to be scared that you might just start sleeping with or dating someone else because you're single and I can't be with you anyways. I don't want to be scared that there'll be days where you're upset or in trouble and I can't be there for you because I'm just your boss. I want to feel safe and secure with you. I want to know that I can come home to you or with you whether it's mine or yours and be with you. I want to be able to hold you and not feel guilty about it or fear that I'll get in trouble for it. I want to tell you I love you whenever I want and know it's not wrong and know you'll say it back and know that we both mean it. Because... I know I'm not that young anymore and I still don't know what the rest of my future is going to look like completely but...", he said and moved his free hand to her face. He tucked her hair behind her ear and stroked her cheek and continued, "... I know I want you in it. I don't want you leaving and I don't want to leave. That won't happen no matter what you say or what you do. And I'll do everything I can to make sure I never hurt you... Ever since you came back into my life, it's been hard to imagine it without you... I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here with you... I love you.", he told her.

Emily closed her eyes and took a deep breath in through her nose and opened them as she exhaled. She stared deep in Hotch's eyes but hadn't smiled or cried or anything yet. He couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"Em?... Im sorry. I know that we haven't talked about a lot of that stuff yet and maybe I shouldn't have said it all... but it's true.", he said.

"Aaron...", she said and placed her hand on his leg. "I love that we have a commitment to each other. You're right, the stability was much needed and I don't ever want to go back to the way things were. It hurt not being able to talk to you and touch you and show you I love you. And now we get to. And... I'm really glad you said all of that because I feel the same way... about all of it. I don't want to let you go and it's hard to imagine now, being without you. And I don't wanna have to."

He softly smiled and pulled her face into his, bringing his lips to hers. When he pulled away, he looked in her eyes and said, "I was worried for a minute when you didn't say anything at first. I really thought I'd said too much."

"No. You didn't. I didn't know how to say it all right but you just did and that's one more reason why I love you. You always seem to be able to understand me even when I don't and you're not afraid to be honest. Is it stupid if I say you complete me?", she laughed.

"Not at all because I'll be honest right now and tell you that I really was broken until I found you again. Is it stupid for me to say that?", he laughed.

"Not at all.", she smiled, leaning in for another kiss.

She slid her hand up from his leg to his back under his shirt. They finally broke for air when she lifted it off, him taking hers off right after. They slid down, her on her back and him on top of her she eventually broke their kiss and started to giggle.

"What? You do know it's not really good to laugh when you're in bed with someone, right? They might think you're laughing at-", he started but she cut him off.

"I'm not laughing at you. It's just something I said earlier. I'm sorry, I'm all good.", she said, trying to stop her laughing by pulling him back down for a kiss and sliding his pants down while he kicked them off to the side. Shortly after, he went for her pajama pants and laid flat on top of her, his bare chest touching hers. Once he began grinding on her, she started to giggle against his lips again and he pulled them off, looking at her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry.", she tried to contain the laugh coming from her mouth and ran her hands along his face.

"What is it!", he said. "I'm trying to make love to you and you can't seem to stop laughing... doesn't bode well for a guy when that happens...", he said.

"Honey, I'm not laughing at you or any part of you, I promise.", she said.

"Well what is it then? I'm kind of in the mood here...", he said.

"It's just something I was talking with JJ about earlier.", she said. He gave her a look letting her know to continue. "I was just telling her about..."

"About what?", he asked.

"Just about you.", she smiled.

"What about me?", he asked, curious.

"We talked a lot about you. It's hard to remember every little thing. Not that we talked about anything that was… little.", she put her hand over her mouth.

"What does that mean?", he asked. When she didn't reply, he furrowed his eyebrows and said, "Emily, did you talk to her about our sex life?"

Bringing her hand down from her mouth and onto his face. "Not a lot. I just said it was good!", she said. He kept his eyebrows the same. "Okay, I might've mentioned how... impressive you are in many ways."

"Like?", he questioned her.

"Like how... nobody compares to you in many respects.", she said.

"What!", he whispered.

"Okay, okay, fine. I might've... mentioned... how you're... bigger... than anyone else I've ever been with.", she said, shutting her mouth right away and rolling her lips in, nervous for what he might say next but also trying to hide another laugh.

"You talked to JJ about... how big my...", he shut his eyes in frustration. "... about how big my dick is?", he whispered through his teeth.

"I didn't go into detail! I just said that...", she lied.

"Emily, I've been a profiler for a really long time and I'm your boyfriend. I know when you're lying. What else did you tell her?", he said.

"I told her that we have a lot of sex and that you're the best I've ever had. But we talked about stuff that's not just sex. Okay?", she said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Emily! That's my subordinate! I'm her boss! And you're telling her about our sex life and intimate details of it?!", he said.

"She's also my friend and girls talk about that stuff with each other! I'm sorry!", she said.

"I really hope she doesn't look at me weird on Monday. God...", he sighed. "Is it at least true?", he asked.

"Which part?", she asked.

"All of it. Did you lie to her about any of it?", he asked.

"All of it is true. And she also likes the beard.", she said, running her hand over it.

He smiled at first after knowing all of that until she said the last part. "How does she know what I look like with the beard?", he furrowed his eyebrows again.

"I might've shown her the picture...", she raised her eyebrows and tried to look innocent yet apologetic.

"I was in bed without a shirt on in that photo!", he said.

"You couldn't see anything in it!", she said.

"Oh my god...", he sighed.

"Are you mad?", she rolled her lips in.

He closed his eyes tight again and let out another sigh, "No... Just... don't tell her anything else about what we do in bed, please.", he said after opening his eyes again. "I can't stay mad at you.", he laughed, leaning down for a kiss.

"Deal.", she smiled, bringing her lips to his and her hands to his face.

He started grinding on her again and when once she could feel he was ready she went his boxers but he got to her underwear first. Once they were gone, he let her finish sliding his off.

"You kind of have a reputation to live up to now.", she said.

"Is that so?", he said.

"Uh huh.", she breathed as he teased her before lining himself up with her entrance.

"I think I can do that.", he smirked and slid into her, bringing his lips back to hers after she gasped.

Like always, he waited to feel she was ready before he did anything else other than kiss her. Once he felt her loosen around him he began to move in deeper and pulled halfway out a few seconds after he hit as far back as he could.

"God, it feels like it's been forever.", he said.

"It's literally been 24 hours.", she laughed.

"Exactly. Way too long.", he said, moving back in.

He set a slow pace and moved down onto her but supporting his weight so he didn't crush her. He kissed her neck and she placed her hand on the back of his with her other running down his back, digging her nails in.

"So am I really better than all the others?", he asked, out of breath.

"So much.", she breathed.

"How?", he asked, moaning right after, beginning to suck on her neck.

"You just- ohhhh mmmm... are. Because I'm- ahh right there- in love with you.", she breathed.

"I fucking love you so much.", he grunted, moving faster.

"I love you too but if you suck on my neck any harder, I'm gonna have to wear turtlenecks for a week.", she said. "As much as I love it, we're tryna be a little more low key."

"I'm sorry, hun. You just drive me crazy.", he said, picking up the speed more and switching to kissing her neck.

"Show me how much.", she whispered.

He started going even harder and faster making her breathe hitch each time she moved her hips and met him thrust for thrust.

"Come on, babe. Give me more.", she moaned.

"Ahhh fuck.", he panted.

"Yes. Just like that, don't stop.", she whined.

"Jesus, Em.", he grunted, moving just the way she kept telling him to. "Ahh I'm gonna come.", he said, bringing his hand down to her and helping her get to the point he was at, refusing to let go until he had her with him.

Her grip on him tightened once she felt it close and arched her back. "Aaron, ohhh- so close.", she said.

"Good.", he smiled, bringing their lips together.

He felt her start to tighten and brought his lips back down to her neck and sucked lightly. He knew it was one of her favorite things he did and couldn't help himself.

"Yes, oh god!", she moaned.

"Are you gonna come for me?", he whispered.

"Yes, oh my- ohhhh fuck.", she ran her fingers through his hair and grabbed on

tight. "I'm about to- shit I'm gonna come, please, Aaron, please."

He panted and kept up with what he was doing, holding on and waiting for her until he finally felt her flutter around him and called out his name. He finally let it all go and buried his face into her neck as she stroked the back of his head.

"God, Em. There's never been anyone like you before.", he said, pulling out of her and resting up against the headboard. He pulled the covers up to his waist and up to cover her chest.

"Does that mean I'm also the best you've ever had?", she giggled.

"By far.", he said, trying to catch his breath.

"Good.", she smiled and scooted into his arms which he gladly accepted and wrapped them around her.

"So what else did you and JJ talk about?", he asked.

"She lectured me for about a minute and then I told her you weren't just anybody to me and that nobody can replace you and that's why I won't just find somebody else.", she said, rubbing his chest. "She also said you have a cute smile and was surprised to see you have dimples. Which are also very cute.", she told him, kissing his cheek.

He laughed at that and said, "I hope she still takes me seriously."

"Why? Because now she knows you actually smile?", she said.

"You know why I am the way I am at work?", he asked.

"Because you're too afraid to show any emotion in fear that somebody may actually think you're human.", she said.

"Are you profiling me, Emily Prentiss?", he chuckled.

"You've done it to me many times.", she raised her eyebrows.

"Fair enough.", he said.

"She also felt bad she couldn't be there for me when you were in the hospital after you were shot or every time we got in a fight and I needed a friend to turn to. Because at the time, you and I were the only ones who knew.", she said.

"Emily, I don't know if I ever thanked you for staying with me those days in the hospital before you flew back with me after I got out. I'm glad I had you by my side. Besides, it would've been really awkward for Morgan or Gideon or Reid to help me get dressed. At least you'd already seen me without clothes on.", he laughed.

"Yeah, that part is definitely true. You were still pretty defiant though. But it was worth it because that's what you do for the ones you love and I know you would've been there for me too if I were in your position.", she said.

"Actually, I wouldn't have been able to... I would've wanted to so badly but... I wouldn't have been able to.", he told her.

"Right... I forgot.", she said.

"I wouldn't be able to stay back with you or in the hospital but I would be able to come home every day and take care of you and check in with you and... I don't want to talk about this. It makes me sad. I don't want to think about you being hurt. It's hard enough watching you run after an unsub who could literally kill you and just... so many other things. That's one reason I don't like us working together. I have to see you get hurt sometimes. And I hate that.", he said, rubbing her arm up and down.

"I hate it too. You've been hurt way worse than I have, right in front of me and I couldn't stop him. Seriously, I can't think of many other times I'd been that scared. And you just told me that you love me for the first time the night before that. So imagine how I felt, thinking I had to let you go already.", she laughed.

"Well, you didn't end up having to do that.", he said.

"Oh, also... JJ said that one of the moments she really started to suspect something was going on between us was when you asked for me specifically right away when you woke up from the anesthesia.", she said.

"I couldn't control that. Literally, my mind was so foggy, I couldn't think or even put words together very well.", he laughed.

"Well, you knew to ask for me first.", she said.

"That's because you're always on my mind and even though I couldn't remember anything in the moment, I still knew something happened to you, I couldn't quite explain what it was but I knew I needed to make sure you were okay before anything else.", he said.

"It was really hard not sitting by your side when we all came in. And holding back my tears... JJ definitely noticed that.", she said.

"I know. But we aren't there anymore.", he said, kissing the top of her head.

"Do you think we'll ever be able to tell anybody about us?", she said quietly.

"I'd like to think so.", he said.

"Well, one person knows for now. That's good enough for me.", she said, letting out a quiet yawn.

"As long as I have you in my life, that's good enough for me.", he told her.

"Mmhmm.", she hummed.

"Em?", he asked, looking at her. Her eyes were closed and she nuzzled her head on his chest.

"Mmm?", she asked.

"Come on, let's go to sleep.", he said, holding her and helping her lay down.

Once his head hit the pillow, he kept hers close to his chest. She wrapped her arm around him and reached up for his shoulder, holding on. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head, pulling her in more with his other arm.

"I love you, hun.", he whispered.

"Mmm I love you too.", she mumbled and rubbed his back, placing a soft kiss on his chest and returning her head to it.

It was in that moment that he knew he wanted to spend every minute he could with her. He wanted to fall asleep with her in his arms every night and wake up to her cute snoring every morning. He didn't want to spend a night without her, which they barely did anyways but he wanted to know she'd be coming home to him. He wanted to call his place, their place. But he knew he wouldn't be able to do that for a while because of Jack and not until he meets her, which he had no idea when that would be. He wanted to tell Emily everything but didn't want to get her hopes up if it'll be a while until they can do anything about it. So, he kept his mouth shut for the time being.