Chapter 36

2016

He wasn't asleep. His breathing wasn't deep enough, and although he was holding their children in his arms, his shoulders were tense.

Alex was lying on the side, looking at his profile and their children as night passed and morning slowly came. Dawn was still far away, but that didn't mean time was anything they could waste. After their usual dinner routine, Alex had to tell Caleb and Grace that she would have to leave them for a couple of days. Of course they didn't know why or where she was going. What she'd told them was that she had to go to a conference and it wasn't even the biggest lie.

She saw him shift and kiss both Caleb and Grace. Their eyes met and the look in his eyes sent a shiver down her spine.

Neither of them said a word as they looked at each other with the background music of Grace's soft snoring. The air in their bedroom was warm despite the snow falling thickly outside. Getting to Cheyenne Mountain wouldn't be easy.

She carefully reached out to him and brushed her fingertips up his arm, revelling in the softness of the hair on his forearms. As usual Evan got the message without her needing to speak. Slowly, he disentangled himself from Grace and Caleb. The two of them were already too far gone to realize their father was leaving them in the big bed.

Once they were outside in the corridor, Evan's hands found Alex's waist immediately. "Did you sleep at all?"

Alex shook her head. She would go through the Gate on her own. Daniel was supposed to accompany her, but after an injury on SG-1's last mission, he was now on bed rest. She had no doubt she'd be fine, though. The Nox weren't at war with the Furlings and they would do everything to keep Alex out of harm's way. She had to believe that.

"Did you sleep?" she asked hesitantly, knowing that he hadn't.

"Nope… it's kind of hard with two kids hanging onto you."

Alex laughed and quickly covered her mouth so as not to wake the children. How was she this nervous? They didn't normally let Caleb and Grace sleep in their bed, but it'd seemed right tonight. And whenever they made this exception, both Caleb and Grace moved in sleep to cling to Evan. Not that she blamed them. Evan Lorne was undoubtedly the best person to cuddle.

His mischievous grin sent her heart fluttering and she wrapped her arms tightly about him to receive his kiss. Saying goodbye never came easy to either one of them, but over the years it'd become harder. Somehow one of them was always on the verge of leaving. Of going to another planet. Neither one of them had quit their team yet, and although Alex knew she'd be the first to resign her job. She tried ignoring the sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach at the thought.

No.

Don't think about it.

Not right now.

"Living room?" he breathed against her lips, pulling her tight as his hands roamed over her bottom. He was so close to her, she could almost feel his heart pounding against his ribs.

"Quietly," she whispered.

"We should've gone for a house with four bedrooms."

Alex laughed again and pulled his hair. "I like this house. Lots of memories."

"Yes, that one time when you told me we were good in bed together and then I actually put you in bed. Tucked you in…"

Another chuckle escaped her lips and she grabbed his shirt. "We should stop having sex-"

"No!"

"- every time before one of us has to leave."

"Right. That sounds better," he whispered and leaned in to kiss her again. "Make it a nightly thing. Like it was those first few months."

Alex grinned against his lips and reached for his hands. "Downstairs, Colonel," she said. "Now."

2034

"Isn't it kind of weird to have your parents around at your job?"

Grace blinked and turned around to look at Torren. His hair was tousled, but his eyes were wide awake. "What?"

"I mean, they're always there. Your mom is in the commissary all the time. Your dad's in charge."

"You've heard me complain about it multiple times," she answered. "Take a guess."

Torren laughed softly and turned to look up at the ceiling again. Montgomery still hadn't allowed them to get up, though by now Grace was feeling perfectly fine. Well, as long as she didn't count that weird sense of unease when she thought about what had happened to them. Somehow she'd always imagined alien abductions to be a bit more spectacular. But then again, she and Torren hadn't been abducted, had they?

"What are you smiling at?"

"Something silly," she said, wishing his bed wasn't so far away so she could at least touch his fingers. The smile vanished from her face. "I'm really sorry about your father," she said, eyes still trained on him while he wouldn't look at her.

"I know."

What else was there to say? And yet, she felt just stating she was sorry, even if this wasn't the first time, wasn't enough. Nothing could be enough. Everything Torren knew about his father were the things his mother and Sheppard had told him. He couldn't what he looked like, let alone recall his voice. The photos which Teyla must still have couldn't mean anything.

Tears shot into her eyes at the mere thought that one day she might forget her own father's voice. That one day there would be nothing of his left but his paintings, photos and blurred memories.

"You said you thought that place looked familiar?" Torren asked and Grace quickly brushed the tears from her eyes.

"It's weird, right? It didn't even come to me when we were there." She was determined not to use the word graveyard. "But later… I don't know."

"Okay." Torren cleared his throat.

"It was probably just the sedative."

"Probably," he agreed and was quiet for a moment. She heard the soft rustling of fabric and turned to see him sitting up, his legs dangling off the edge of the bed. "I've been feeling weird ever since we got here… my mom told me this might happen in proximity to the Wraith, but this is super strange. And I've been feeling that even before that… attack, whatever it was."

"What does it feel like?"

"What? The Wraith?" Torren took a moment to think about it. Everything was quiet except for the low hum of machinery around them. Slowly, Grace sat up as well, hesitated, then moved over to sit next to Torren. Their fingers found each other without a moment's hesitation. "Dark?" he finally said, clearly struggling to find an appropriate word for it. He shook his head. "But not in a bad way? It's almost like something is lulling me in. It's strangely comforting. I can imagine why Mom always said it's unsettling considering what they are."

He put his other hand on Grace's as well and lifted it to his lips.

"Can you hear them?" she whispered, remembering old mission reports from Atlantis about attempts to communicate with the Wraith. Ancient neural interfaces were apparently nothing compared to the complexity with which Wraith Hives operated.

"No… but I'm not trying to either." He lifted her thumb to his lips. "It's something I'm not exactly looking forward to."

No big surprise there. So far, Grace had only laid eyes on the Wraith her parents called Todd, but those cat-like eyes and slightly shimmering skin in combination with how he stood and talked and bared his terribly sharp teeth had creeped her out. This alien was dangerous, even if he and his Hive had decided to ally themselves with Humans instead of feeding on them.

Gaia, the Nox homeworld, was undoubtedly one of the most beautiful planets Alex had ever seen. The forest below the floating city didn't appear to be too different from any other she had ever been in, but there was something in the air that seemed to make the air tickle in your nose with every breath you took. Like there was electricity in it. Intangible, yet always present.

She was leaning against a balustrade at the edge of the city, looking down at the treetops and the Gate below. As far as she knew, no human, apart from Daniel, had ever set foot in this place. In fact, she'd been surprised the Nox wanted her in this place at all.

"Doctor Lorne?" a calm voice said behind her and Alex slowly turned around to look at the small woman waiting for her at door leading into a large assembly hall.

"Lya," Alex said, recalling her name from when she'd visited Atlantis with the Furling ambassador. "Thank you again for having me."

Lya nodded, her dark eyes almost closing as she bowed to Alex with that unearthly smile on her lips. "When we met the last time there was little time to talk about those writings you found." It was the main reason for her visit, yet not a single Nox had been available to talk with her so far about them.

"Right." Alex cleared her throat and picked up her tablet from the narrow table. She'd sat on the floor before, her tablet in her lap, and had forgotten about it when she got up again to look at the forest. Alex had been here two days already. One of the younger Nox had kept her company on occasion as she stayed in one of the larger buildings on the outskirts of the city. She almost had a bad conscience for the sense of holiday she was feeling here. There was no way she could be anxious here, no matter how much she missed her family. This place was truly incredible, with the governmental buildings situated on the outside of the vast city, surrounding an enormous park-like area in the centre of the metropolis. Everything seemed light and ancient at the same time with trees and delicate plants in various shades of green and brown growing out of every nook and cranny. And yet, this place never appeared to be dirty or untidy. Every single room, every building and every piece of furniture was utilitarian and the design perfectly balanced. Evan would have gone insane here, desperate to draw and paint everything and knowing that the Nox would never allow a soldier to recreate their capital on paper.

"Shall we go inside?" Lya asked and Alex nodded eagerly, following the Nox woman inside. "I am deeply sorry we brought destruction to your home," Lya said, the gravity in her voice taking Alex by surprise.

"It wasn't your intention." Alex had almost said fault, but that would've been wrong. The Nox had introduced the Tau'ri to the Furlings. And the Furlings had attacked Atlantis. They had killed wherever they could, claiming each and every planet that fell into their hands.

"No, it was not." Lya moved to the three comfortable poufs by the window and sat down, her back and shoulders straight as she observed Alex. "And yet, it happened. We did not know the Furlings would attack you. When they reached out to us again, after millennia of silence, they appeared to be the friends we'd lost contact with so long ago."

Alex fought hard to bite back a vicious comment. This wasn't the first time she'd heard this story, but it surely should have made the Nox suspicious that the Furlings only wanted to contact them again once the Asgard and the Ori were out of the picture. Not that the Furlings wouldn't have been a match for either one of those races, but clearly conquering two galaxies was easier with these two enemies out of the picture.

Clearing her throat again, Alex opened the folder containing the pictures of the steles they had found. She tapped on the icon and handed it to Lya. "We found steles with Nox writing on it in various locations in the Pegasus galaxy. There were other alphabets there as well," she said, swiping over the screen in Lya's hand and indicating a picture of the writing nobody had been familiar with, "but there was Nox writing there as well."

Lya looked at the pictures with a frown and, having picked up how to work the tablet, started swiping through the pictures as well. "This is incredible," she whispered slowly. "There have been hints that before the Ancients left this galaxy to explore, Nox had moved abroad as well, but there has been next to no definitive proof."

Alex smiled despite herself, the confirmation as thrilling as the thousands of research questions now tumbling down on her. "Did they return here? Do you know?" It wasn't the most important question, but it seemed like one of the easier ones.

Lya shook her head sadly and kept swiping. "This place," she said, "it looks familiar." She held up the tablet and the drawing Evan had made of the fortress in which Ba'al had held them prisoner appeared.

"It does?" Alex asked, incredulously. Before, she'd only ever associated the shape and layout of that place with Castel del Monte in Italy. "What do you mean?"

"The Ancients," Lya said, "they had similar structures in their cities before they vanished and-" The sound of a soft bell rang through the room and Lya immediately got up. For a moment she looked almost nervous as she wiped her hands on her wide, flowing skirt. "Would you excuse me for a moment, I have to attend to our other guests."

"Nervous?" Carter asked with a slight smirk and so quietly that only Evan could hear her. For a moment he allowed himself a smile and he turned to look at her.

"Aren't you?"

Her smile grew a bit wider and he nodded. They were on their way into the village again, accompanied by a small guard consisting of five Marines. As they passed the first houses and Evan looked back over his shoulder, he could already make out the beginnings of a path leading to their ship, whereas another one led off into another direction, probably the Gate.

"It's a shame Woolsey didn't get to be here." There was no frustration in her voice. No resignation. When Woolsey had taken over command from her, nobody had been thrilled, but within a very short amount of time, Richard Woolsey had earned the respect from nearly every single expedition member. He'd resigned his job and cut ties with every government agency the moment it'd become clear there would not be a relaunch of the expedition and Evan had always respected him for it.

He knew Woolsey had regretted Earth's stance on this point until the day he died. And Woolsey would have been thrilled to see them all back here, no matter the tensions and uncertainties. "It's taken us too long to get back here, no matter what." Evan caught Alex's eye. She was walking next to Emma Rogers and Caleb. Rogers and Caleb seemed to have hit it off straight away, though Rogers hadn't talked much to Alex yet. There didn't seem to be too much resentment there, but even so Rogers' smile never quite reached her eyes.

Within minutes they were in the centre of the village and headed straight for the pub again. There were a couple of Athosians outside, but Evan had to admit, he didn't recognize a single face. Twenty years as a concept was hard enough to grasp, even when you spent them watching your children grow in an everchanging world. But to return to a place that had changed fundamentally in that time was downright devastating.

The moment they passed through the door, Evan's eyes roamed the room as if searching for someone and his heart seemed to stop whenever he saw a face that looked familiar. There were Sixteen of them. He didn't even need to count. Sixteen older men and women, accompanied by younger people, some in their late teens, some a bit younger.

Children, he thought, fighting for composure. They'd had children. Of course they had. At some point they hadn't just started building houses, as Alex had pointed out to him, but they had started families.

Quickly pushing the thought aside when a slim and tall, black man approached him Evan straightened his shoulders as a wave of relief flooded over him. "Woeste," he said, searching those deep brown eyes.

"General." Woeste's raised eyebrow did nothing to diminish the brightness of his smile as he grabbed Evan by the shoulders and pulled him into a bone crushing hug. "You look well," Woeste laughed, clapping Evan on the shoulder and then turning to Carter, ignoring all military protocol. "Good to see you," he hesitated. "Colonel?"

"Colonel is fine, Captain." Carter sounded a bit more cautious but the overall tension inside the room seemed to have evaporated as everyone started talking again, though eyes were constantly trained on him and Carter.

"Oh, right," Woeste nodded, his eyes narrowing for a moment. "Sorry, most of us left the Air Force behind when… you know."

Evan nodded briefly. "I-"

"Ronon's told us everything." He really didn't seem too bitter, Evan thought, as Woeste grabbed his arm and pulled him towards another man with black and grey carefully groomed curls.

This time Evan was prepared for the hug as Asim Nabi pulled him close to his chest. Two members of his team, the ones he'd grieved for the most, though up to this day he hadn't admitted it to anyone. Jonas, Woeste, Nabi and him, had been through so much together and seeing them again, safe and sound, was a massive weight off his chest.

Knowing that there were people who belonged to them was one thing.

Seeing them was overwhelming. But he let it happen, shaking hands, and forcing himself to save that speech for when they had all settled down. And boy, would that speech make him feel even worse.

Really, Woolsey would have done a much better job at this than he, Evan, ever could.

"Is that Murdoch's kid?" Woeste asked as Evan was about ready to call everyone to attention, but his eyes kept roaming the familiar faces. Faces he'd thought lost for such a long time. Woeste, Nabi, Banks, Rogers, Kavanagh, Yilmaz, Teldy, Porter, Novak, Kleinman, Stackhouse, Berger, Stahl, Davis, Williams, Kowalcyk. Sixteen names. And four people weren't here. Dex was on patrol, apparently, but where were the other three?

"Lorne?"

Evan blinked and turned to look at Woeste. "What? Yes. Yes, that's Joshua Murdoch," he said, barely catching himself and adding: "PhD." Josh was talking quietly to a young woman, the one who'd looked sullen that very morning as she led Josh and his team into the forest.

"Well, he's hitting it off with Dex's daughter, isn't he?"

"Ronon?" Evan asked, his eyebrows raised. He'd almost added Are you sure?

At that exact moment, Josh laughed out loud and he could see a small smile on the girl's lips. Things really had changed.

A/N: Hello everybody, I'm back again and I sincerely hope you liked this chapter. Once again, a huge thank you to Traveler's Chick for lending me her girls Emma and Eva.

In the next couple of flashbacks we will spend some more time on the Nox homeworld.

Quick question though: in the "list" of survivors I've given you, are you particularly happy to see a name there, or extra angry? 😊 Let me know.