Paralyzed

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A/N-thank you very much for the kind reviews on this story!

Chapter Forty-Nine-Ben and Kuruk

"Rey, are you okay?" Finn's voice seemed to come out of nowhere, startling Rey and making Kuruk scowl.

"I'm fine, Finn." Rey hastily used her hands to wipe the tears off her face but she wasn't quick enough.

"You've been crying." Finn frowned as he peered at her face. "What's going on?"

"Why don't you mind your own business." Kuruk growled. He was already reaching for his weapon.

Finn reached for his blaster at the same time as he stepped in front of Rey and shielded her with his body. Rey was tired, weary to the bone. Why did everything in her life have to end up in some pathetic confrontation? Finn was using the opportunity to act as her hero, she wasn't a fool, she could see the excited gleam in his dark eyes as he pointed his blaster at Kuruk. As for Kuruk-her father-she had no idea about him at all. He seemed to be enjoying the confrontation just as much as Finn. Maybe it was the darkness in him. He was a Knight of Ren after all. That's what they lived for.

Rey took a deep breath to compose herself as she moved away from Finn, one hand cradling her pregnant stomach. She gave both men a severe look. "Put your weapons away."

"He drew his first." Finn argued while he kept his eyes trained on Kuruk. "Why are we even tolerating these assholes being here anyway?"

"I said put your weapons away." Rey demanded again as she ignored Finn's question. She wasn't in the mood to have another debate with him. She glared in Kuruk's direction and he slowly lowered his weapon.

"When you're able to ditch your minder come and find me." He said gruffly. "You know where I'll be."

Rey watched despairingly as Kuruk stalked off toward the Night Buzzard. She was still reeling from the revelation that he was her father and now she had to deal with Finn's questions. The weight of everything seemed to press down on her shoulders and she struggled to take even a single step forward. It was too much. All of it. And somehow, she kept moving. But every step cost her. The darkness grew darker; the pain grew sharper; all of it seemed to only grow in strength and she began to wonder if things could ever get better.

"I'm coming, sweetheart. Hold on."

Ben's soothing voice was like a flashpoint in her mind. Rey felt his love seep through their Force bond and surround her like a warm blanket. Perhaps it was for the best that Finn's intervention had chased Kuruk away. It gave her space and time to think.

"Rey, it's not doing you any good being around them." Finn put a tentative hand on her shoulder as she tried to regain her attention. "Think of the baby."

"Don't presume to tell me how to think!" Rey snapped as she looked up at him.

"That's not what I was doing. I'm just trying to look out for you but you keep pushing me away. What would have happened if I hadn't turned up just then, huh? That guy is dangerous. All the Knights are. They didn't get their reputation for nothing…" Finn responded heatedly.

"I know exactly what they are!" Rey cut in swiftly. "You have no idea what's going on so stay out of it."

Finn shook his head mutinously as his hand dropped from his shoulder. He was trying to rein in his frustration for her sake, but the tension continued to build. "You've changed Rey. The girl I used to know wouldn't tolerate all these dark side users hanging around. They are putting everyone on edge. Me included. It was bad enough when it was just Hux and…and…" He stopped speaking, his jaw clenching slightly.

"You still can't say his name, can you? You'll always see Ben as Kylo Ren and nothing else. No matter what he does." Rey sometimes wondered if that smile- the horribly fake smile- she used to wear was ever seen through. If someone was ever going to notice that sad, broken look in her eyes that she hid behind that fake smile. In the early stages of their friendship, she thought Finn might have been the one to see through the act she put on for everyone's benefit. But he never had. He was still stuck in the fantasy of the innocent little scavenger girl of Jakku he had first met. He had never seen how much more complex she was underneath the façade she hid behind. Ben was the only one who really saw her.

Finn shrugged, inhaling deeply as he put his hands on his hips. "You're right. I've tried, Rey. I promise you I really did try for your sake." He dropped his gaze from hers and swallowed thickly. "I'm envious of him, Rey. I want you to look at me the way you look at him. I want you to see me as your hero. When we first met you looked at me like no on else ever had. I miss that. I miss that girl…."

"I'm not that girl, Finn." Rey said tiredly. "I never was."

Finn regarded her mournfully. "I'm beginning to realise that. I don't think we can be friends right now, Rey. I'm sorry." He replied sadly before turning and walking away.

When Ben returned, she couldn't stop crying. It wasn't just her pregnancy hormones and the revelations about her parents making her hyper emotional. She was mourning her friendship with Finn. They had reached an impasse-with his unresolved feelings for her snapping at his heels-there was no way they could continue the charade. Ben cradled her in his arms as she cried. She let them fall, not raising a hand to stop them. When the tears weren't even half way done Rey was empty. She hadn't experienced this feeling before. The sadness was still there, but not raw anymore – now it was an empty unhappiness - the kind she didn't think would easily lift.

Ben was really worried about her. He had never seen her this low. Nothing he said or did could make her feel better. He blamed Finn for making things worse by making the situation all about him. Rey was already upset about all the fresh revelations about her parents and Finn dropping another emotional bombshell was the last thing she needed. He swallowed down his bitter feelings toward the former stormtrooper as he continued to try and comfort Rey.

"I could speak to him for you." He offered reluctantly. Rey shook her head. "Or maybe Poe could speak to him." She shook her head again and buried her face against his chest. "Sweetheart, what can I do to make you feel better?"

"I just need you to hold me." Rey's voice was muffled against his chest.

"Okay." Ben murmured as he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss into her hair.

A little while later Ben emerged from their quarters intent on tracking down Kuruk. He left Rey in the company of Rose, who had turned up unexpectedly with a sudden burning need to talk to Rey. Ben could tell that he was in the way, so he had made an excuse to leave to give them some privacy. He was actually relieved Rose had shown up because it gave him the perfect opportunity to go and find Kuruk. As he made his way through the Resistance camp, he ignored the many pairs of resentful stares that were cast in his direction. He was used to it and didn't really care, unlike Rey who cared a bit too much. These people meant a lot to her. Ben tried to remember that when he noticed Finn was one of those glaring at him. He locked stares with him for a minute, before continuing on his way.

Ben eventually found Kuruk hiding out in the cockpit of the Night Buzzard. As soon as he joined the older Knight, Kuruk tensed, his relaxed demeanour vanishing on first sight of Ben. "Why isn't my daughter with you?" He asked warily.

"You don't have the right to call her your daughter!" Ben warned darkly as he pulled his lightsaber from his belt and ignited it. He pointed the crackling red blade at the grizzled knight's throat. "You lied to me. And I don't like being lied to." He threatened. "Especially when it hurts Rey."

Kuruk's jaw clenched. "You haven't changed, Kylo. You always attack first and think later."

"And you're a manipulative bastard!" Ben roared angrily as he pressed the tip of the hissing blade against Kuruk's skin, singeing it. Kuruk hissed in pain but stood his ground, his eyes sparking with anger. "I want the truth. You and I both know that Sidious had no natural born children."

Bitter laughter erupted from Kuruk's throat. "I wasn't natural born. I'm a strand cast!"

Ben lowered his blade slightly as he felt sickness welling in his stomach. "A clone like Snoke."

"I'm nothing like Snoke!" Kuruk seethed. "I'm a bioengineered living entity created by the Sith Eternal. I have Sidious' cursed genes running through my system. I was a failed experiment, even though I have some Force sensitivity, it rendered me useless to Sidious."

"Why?" Ben's face paled as a cold shiver rippled down his spine.

"You can't really be that dense, Kylo." Kuruk snapped. "You've seen Sidious' rotting corpse. It can't contain his power. He needed a new vessel to inhabit. The Sith Eternal have been working for years trying to perfect their skills to make that happen, but they continue to fail."

"Fuck!" Ben swore under his breath as he shut his saber down and clipped it back onto his belt.

"And fucking was all I was good for in the end." Kuruk rubbed the burnt skin on his throat as he continued to regard Ben with bitter eyes. "I may have been useless as a vessel, but I wasn't discarded entirely. I was raised by the Sith Eternal to revere Sidious and when I came of age, I was mated with one of them."

"Rey's mother…" Ben felt bile rise in his throat.

"Sapphire is one of Sidious' most powerful servants." Kuruk flinched as if he was drowning in bad memories.

Ben knew how that felt. For the first time he actually felt empathy for Kuruk. "What is she like?" He dared to ask.

Kuruk's features twisted into an embittered smile. "Sidious is evil. What you see is what you get. But Sapphy is on a whole other level, Kylo. She might not be as powerful as he is, but she is just as crazed and power hungry as he is. I fell under her spell the from the first moment I met her. She was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen…. those stunning hazel eyes of hers…they just draw you in." Kuruk shook his head as if trying to shake away the memory of her.

Ben watched in silent horror as the older man lowered his head and let out a choked sob. He had never seen this reaction out of Kuruk before and it unnerved him.

"I adored her, Kylo." Kuruk admitted roughly. "I still do. I can't help it. She made me do some despicable things to earn her love. I did whatever she asked just so I could remain close to her." He drew in a sharp breath in an attempt to regain his composure. "I never thought I was capable of loving anyone as much as I loved her. Then Rey was born and I knew that wasn't true anymore. I loved my daughter more." He rubbed a shaking hand over his face as he raised his stricken gaze to Ben. "Rey was shrouded in light from the moment she was born. Sapphy was outraged. She had given birth to a powerful Force user who she hoped to mould into her own image so she could one day overthrow her master. She did everything she could to snuff out the light, but it wasn't working. I couldn't bear to see my precious little girl suffering so much under her mother's ruinous influence. I had to get her away. And eventually I did."

A/N-thanks for reading! I've spilt this chapter in two because it was so long. Please review if you have the time.