Less than an hour ago…

Earl was having a good time.

The bandit walked through the gates of Carnivora, holding a beer in hand and a pistol in the other. It was a bright and sunny day and he was ready to have some FUN in Carnivora! Sure, he had to give up his car, which his brother labored away for weeks to build into a death machine but…y'know…in the name of the Twin Gods, right? He wouldn't mind.

Cletus was dead anyhow. Fuck that guy.

"Welcome brother," A psycho cried nearby. "Welcome to CARNIVORA! Have fun, and don't die!"

"Don't plan to." Earl chugged his beer and tossed it to the side. "Let's have some fun! Imma hit the concession stand!" The bandit triumphantly walked over to one of the many stands, tapping his hand against the counter. "Whaddya got?"

"Skag Dogs."

Earl grimaced. "Ew…you got anything that won't taste like rancid shit?"

"Fuck no and fuck you."

Earl wasted no time and shot the guy in the face. Fuck him anyways.

With that done, he kept walking, heading for another stand. "Huh, what's this?"

"Tickets to the Great Sacrifice! They're gonna slaughter that scientist girl with the Agonizer 9000, but first, a lotta other sacrifices as appetizers."

"Oh shit? Sign me the fuck up."

"Great! That'll be five hundred dollars."

Earl's jaw nearly dropped. "F-Five hundred? The fuck?!"

"Yeah. All the funds go towards the Twin Gods and delivering righteous fury upon our enemies, like those DAMN Vault Thieves. Some Eridium would also do but, considering you aren't glowing like a fucking coked up Christmas Tree, you probably don't have any."

Earl grumbled. He only brought five-twenty for the carnival, but then again, he needed to see the sacrifices. Hrrmm…maybe—

"Don't think about shooting me." The bandit running the ticket stand had a shotgun aimed at his stomach. Earl sighed and forked over the five hundred bucks, accepting the marked ticket once it was handed to him. "Thank you. Show's in an hour."

"Fine fine." Earl grumbled. At least he'd get to see the Grand Sacrifice or whatever the fuck it was called. That'd be pretty cool.

So, that meant he had an hour to kill. What to do?

"Beast Battles! Bet on a beast, watch it battle another!" Another bandit cried from his own stand. "If it wins, you keep the pot! Bets are a five-dollar minimum!"

Well that was something.

Earl's good day had gone to questionable.

Four fights. The creature he bet on didn't win once. First he bet on the skag, which got eaten by the stalker. Then he bet on the stalker, which lost to ANOTHER skag. Then he bet on the spiderant, only for it to SOMEHOW lose to the fucking same skag, and when he bet on that skag, it proceeded to lose to a stalker AGAIN!

Shit was probably rigged; he could've just shot the guy who ran the ring but he had a rocket launcher and, well…Earl didn't wanna end up as chunks on the ground.

So, the downtrodden bandit trekked through the festival's pathways, en route for the main area of Carnivora, where the sacrifices were to occur. At the very least, he could catch the sacrifices, and end things with a bang.

Earl pulled up to the gates and readied his ticket and—

"Fuck!" He dropped it, and it fell in a puddle of beer. Earl watched in utter horror as the ink bled away and the ticket was rendered utterly useless; just a mushy, lump of paper. Still, Earl scooped it up and approached the gate, offering it to the cultist standing there.

"…bud, this ain't gonna work. Go back and buy another ticket."

"I…augh…" He sighed and went the way he came, quickly making his way for the entryway.

Carnivora was a bust, and…well he didn't accomplish everything he set out to do. So, that was a shame. Maybe next year he could catch it, but he wasn't sure if he'd have a sick ride by then. Sure, he could steal one, but the only one he knew with such a sick ass ride was that one fucker with the gold technical. Forgot his name.

Even with his slow walk, it took Earl little time to pass through the gates and leave the festival, a mournful sigh leaving him. Well, at the very least, it couldn't get worse—

"THE VAULT THIEVES ARE HERE!" He turned in time to hear a series of gunshots and explosions ring out. It quickly dawned on him that, had he taken a few more fucking seconds, he'd have been right in their fucking crosshairs…maybe the day was looking up after all.

Fuck, maybe this was a sign. A sign that he should finally get off his ass and fix his fucking life! Finally stop being a bandit and make something of himself!

"…Imma go enroll in that fuckin' college on Eden-5. Be a fuckin' professor like my pa dreamed of."

And, with that, Earl triumphantly walked off. Things were looking up!

…well…for him. Not for the others. They were all dead.

[I forgot where I was going with this chapter but opted to commit to…whatever it was. I'll make a note to not deviate from the canon too much. Gets confusing. Next week will be your regularly scheduled mayhem. Wanted to try something different, and I'm not really sure I hit the nail on the head.

But, on to the reviews.

To BORD3RLANDS: I'm glad I've been able to deliver such quality. Honestly, sometimes, I feel my quality is subpar, namely with a few middle chapters. So, glad people are liking it regardless.

To Soft Serve: I had to make a RAID joke somewhere; y'know, the FUN AND INTENSE RPG that's got an auto-play function. So, yeah, that says all I need to say.

To TAG AND BINK: I'll see what I can do regarding the climax of this story. There's a lot I can do but I need to pick the thing that works solidly. The one that leaves readers truly satisfied.

To Sweet Tooth: I thought the scene was pretty neat. Really covers the zaniness of the game. And I'll see about incorporating the Circle of Slaughter. Maybe as another side chapter. I can sneak character development in there somewhere, after all.

Thanks for reading, and as you all can tell, we're nearing the apex of things. So, stay tuned; let's hope we can end this on a high note.