Chapter 33 - Gloriously Guerruling

"Loghain's troops have pulled back from the city. It looks like he's moving towards Denerim," Teagan said, pacing about the room. Despite his steely demeanor, he didn't seem convinced.

Cailan sat before him in a chair facing a table, overlooking the city through a window. Smoke spiraled up, up and up, from chimneys and smokestacks, bleeding into the waning twilight sky. He was dressed in fresh-pressed clothes, yellows whites and browns, and fiddled with the hem of his tunic as his uncle fretted, looking for loose threads where none could be found.

"Perhaps he means to seek aid as the horde approaches…." He said idly, finally pulling a bead free from the intricate stitching underneath.

Bann Teagan stopped and faced his nephew with the air of a man about to lose his marbles. "What he means is to start a war! He means to rip the crown from your head and set the other nobles against one another!"

Cailan sighed and sunk lower in his chair, pulling the hem of his shirt until the fabric buckled awkwardly, unsightly for the robes of a king. "Suppose he does. What do you believe I should do?"

"Give chase and send the traitor packing!" Teagan said earnestly, giving Cailan a funny look. "Do you disagree? Don't you want to fight?"

With the tone of someone having spent much time around the wardens, Cailan gave him a level stare, a hand coming to rest over one of several puncture marks over his abdomen. "The blight takes precedence. As much as I want to tell Loghain to suck it, we're unequipped to deal with the horde as it quickly gains ground. The archdemon is yet to show itself, and our manpower is severely diminished. What we need is to gather what we can to keep the darkspawn from spreading across the entire country."

His uncle raised both eyebrows incredulously. "You mean to hold them off here? At Redcliffe?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Cinna said from the corner of the room, a great stack of books surrounding her. Her hair was bundled in a collection of wild, fruity scarves and tied together with a purple sash. Not at all subtle, but she ignored their pointed stares. "I mean, we still have a lot of other things to worry about in the meantime. Duran's sent word that his party has made it to the Brecilian forest-though it took like a week and a half for his letter to get here, so who knows how the hell that's going."

Teagan looked at her for a moment, and then turned to his relative. "...Why is she here in the boardroom?"

"She's my- uh," Cailan glanced at her and made a face. "New counselor. I find that she has a… unique perspective, that… I find refreshing." He paused, and gave a warning look to not start anything. "At times."

"I see…" Tegan said, narrowing his eyes at Cinna's colorful head-attire. Reluctantly, he moved on though, and returned to the matter at hand. "Arl Eamon expects your company soon, Cailan. I sent word of your appearance shortly before Loghain decided to personally give me his goodbyes. It appears he believes my disappearance from last night's dinner to be a sign of dissent."

"Which it was," Cinna pointed out, flicking to the next page in her book.

Teagan thinned his lips and shot her a sideways glance. "Indeed. However, I cannot tell whether he remains unaware of your current wellbeing, or if his spies are far better than I expected. There's been rumors of wardens surviving the battle of Ostagar but little so much as a word of any of those easily recognizable."

"That's a relief," she murmured. Though they had gotten way too close for comfort just a moment ago.

"Loghain knows that the commander survived," Cailan pointed out. "He knows that the wardens are coming for him. That's why he's running scared to Denerim for support."

"Which is why we should cut his army off before they can gain even more numbers!" Teagan stressed, hands balled into fists "Share the story of your survival, keep his allies scattered, afraid to join forces, knowing that the true king still lives!"

"Would they still follow a king, knowing the full extent of his injuries?" Cailan muttered, yellow thread wrapped around his finger from where he tore it off. "Would they follow me knowing that the taint runs through my veins? They've seen what the blight can do. Ferelden hasn't forgotten it's last queen falling to the same fate years ago. It would destroy their hope fighting the blight now, and hope is… all we really have. I can't take that from them."

Teagan looked stricken. "I had hoped... perhaps you had escaped the worst. You truly are dying?"

"Allegedly dying!" Cinna shouted, spreading her hands out over her findings. Among her books were pictures of old herbs and flowers that she barely recognized, but there was something here. She was sure of it. Cinna pointed an accusatory finger at the sulking king. "I haven't kept you alive for two and a half months just for you to wax poetics about croaking in the near future, I'm gunna find a permanent solution eventually!"

Blinking, Teagan turned and gave her an evaluating stare. Quickly looking back at his nephew, he said to Cailan, "Is she speaking the truth? How have you been kept alive all this time- you look remarkably... erm, well."

Cailan shifted awkwardly and shared a quick glance with his totally normal, not-a-blood-mage doctor. "That's... uh. It's-"

"Science!" Cinna declared, pushing one of her larger texts across the table towards the two royals. There was a wild gleam in her eyes as she spoke, and she gestured to a page which she had written out, detailing her thoughts and observations on the blight. "It's a sickness like any other, and it can be held off. All I need is more time and resources."

"Which we're all short on, for more than just this cause, I see," Tegan sighed, sitting himself down in a chair as well. He rubbed his temples as he regarded her wild charcoal scrawlings in her journal, and looked far older than his actual age. He turned to Cailan, exhaustion weighing heavy on his shoulders. "Suppose you outlast Loghain to throw off his coup, suppose this 'cure' of yours lasts, that your-" he turned to Cinna and gave her a blank stare. "-I'm sorry, what do I call you? What's your title?"

She stared at him. "Cinna is fine, if you use a title I'll make you regret it."

Teagan's face twitched, the lack of formality apparently a strange pill to swallow. Nevertheless, he continued. "...suppose the cure from Cinna works, what are the chances of the king possessing all the traits of a warden? I mean specifically... the question of him siring an heir. Wardens are sterile."

"OH." Cinna dropped her notes. She felt like such an idiot. "Oh my god-"

Cailan had a similar look of horror on his face. "You're kidding me. Tegana, surely you jest-"

"Did neither of you know this?" The bann asked incredulously, and he stared at Cinna. "Aren't you supposed to also be a warden?!"

"I dont know!" She shot back, grabbing for loose papers with desperate hands. "I didn't have much time to ask questions before the darkspawn invaded!"

Good god though this was something she should've been aware about. What the hell was she going to do?!

Teagan just started down at the king. Who had gone very pale and very silent. "...Cailan, are you alright?"

"I'm- I… this.. It's fine. Really, It's… fine," Cailan murmured eventually, though the look on his face really said otherwise. "We can.. There's… I'm sure there's something."

"I think we broke him," Cinna observed, looking over at the bann. She balled up a piece of paper and threw it at him. "Why did you have to say that!?"

He ducked out of the way in time. "It was just a question!"

Cinna was just about to open her mouth to give some sort of solution, when Cailan cut her off.

"We have Alistair."

Tegan stared at him. "Wait, what?"

The young king placed his hands in front of him on the table, somehow much calmer. He didn't look at either of them, but at the country outside. "Teagan, he's my brother by birthright. The blood of Maric runs in his veins the same as mine. He has a right to be my heir, just as any other noble and relative of mine."

"He's also a warden, which doesn't solve the problem of succession any more than it does for you!" Teagan stressed, rubbing his temples. He squeezed his eyes closed and let out a low curse under his breath. "Eamon should be here. We should postpone this conversation until we can safely ensure your travel to Redcliffe castle."

Cailan made a thoughtful sound. "Connor could be second to inherit the throne, should Alistair wish to abdicate."

Tegan's face twitched, and he let his hands fall to the table. "Maker, excuse me for a moment, but could you quit that?"

"Quit what?"

"Making country-altering decisions without your full council present!"

Cinna raised her hand. "I mean I'm here."

"The council you've provided has been something to be desired," Tegan shot back. "What sort of warden doctor are you even supposed to be again?"

She looked down at her hands. Outing herself as a blood mage was probably not the right thing to say, right? "The- the uh…..."

"She's the kind that's kept me alive," Cailan filled in, unamused. He brushed the question away like it was unimportant. "Can we get back to talking about me right now?"

"How is us talking about your possible sterility going to help us stop Loghain from reaching Denerim?" Teagan stated, annoyed.

Cinna sighed and leaned back in her chair. "I thought we gave up on that idea when Cailan started talking about how hopeless everything is and bringing the whole mood down."

"I thought lying about everything was a pretty good move," He defended. "I lie to myself all the time, lying to a whole country sounds easy enough."

"Somehow I feel like it isn't," Cinna warned. "You're the king, you should know how hard it is to keep a secret from hundreds of thousands of people."

Cailan gestured wildly. "We kept Alistair a secret!

"And look how that turned out!" Cinna shot back. "He's got anxiety!"

"I've got anxiety!" Cailan shouted. "I'm barren and you're shouting at me!"

Quietly, Teagan sat himself down and covered his face with his hands. "You know what? Loghain can have the capital, it's not even that important."

"Are you serious?" Cailan asked, whirling on him. "There's a civil war brewing in the country and you don't think it's important?"

Cinna shook her head at the Bann, disappointed. "Yeah, what's wrong with you, man. Where are your priorities?"

"I shouldn't have left you three alone," Duncan said, stepping into the room. He closed the door behind him. "Your voices carried down the hall, though I'm almost certain these walls are padded. What did you do to the Bann?"

"We- nothing! It was a normal conversation!" Cinna blustered. She shot a look at Teagan, who had his face covered and was muttering something under his breath. She gestured to him awkwardly. "Look, he's fine! It's not our fault he's got a lot of information to soak up!"

"That's not at all…" Teagan took in a deep breath, and tried to regain his composure. "Fine. Yes, sure. It's all a lot to take in. The war, the blight, the future of Ferelden. I can compartmentalize, it's fine. We can do this."

"Good to hear you've come around," Duncan noted. He came to stand by Cailan's right, and put a supportive hand on his shoulder. "So, have you come to a decision?"

Cinna nodded. "I think we've beaten Teagan's spirit to the point where he'll agree with just about anything we say."

"We haven't agreed on anything," Teagan muttered, glaring at them all. "I'm taking Cailan to speak with Eamon, and THEN we'll consider our game plans. Everything else just now… hurts my brain to think about."

"Welcome to the last two and a half months," Cailan said lightly. "It's good to have you join us, uncle."

"Yes... Thank you…" The bann really did look defeated. He sunnk lower in his chair.

"Remind me never to leave you all unsupervised again," Duncan walked around the table he sent Cinna's scarf-mess an amused look, and came to stand by teagan. "While I admit this last while has been more than the average person to handle, I have no doubt we shall overcome this all together. Loghain leaving gives us the opportunity to regroup, we should tackle what we can at the moment, and stick to what we can handle now. What comes later, comes later."

Tegan sighed and rubbed his forehead again. "I trust your judgement, commander. Forgive me, everyone, for my earlier words. This has been quite the... troubling time."

"It has," Cinna agreed, shutting her book tight and getting up from her seat. "But we're gunna figure it out in the end-" she reached over and clapped Teagan on the back, in an effort to lighten his spirits. "It'll be okay!"

Cailan snorted, and watched with some amusement as Teagan stiffened up at Cinna's overly friendly gesture. "Yes, I suppose it will."

X

It wasn't.

Cinna sat outside Arl Eamon's private chambers with her hand over her mouth and her eyes wide as Cailan and him went off at one another. Duncan had thought her, Teagan, and Cailan had been bad, this was worse; it had actual heat behind it. It was like the battle of two supergiants- Batman vs Superman, Godzilla VS Mothra, King vs Arl- two paragons of bad choices stacked up against one another.

And it had started with a simple 'I told you so.'

"-daughter of a traitor! We cannot know what lengths she's gone to support her father-"

"We don't know anything at all!" Cailan argued, and it felt like they had gone around and around like this for ages, seemingly without end.

Cinna had tried her best to help back Cailan up, but twenty minutes in she had been swiftly dismissed and sent to have a timeout. Which was really just a bench outside the door since she refused to be escorted out further by Eamon's guards, but it still sucked.

"-told you a year ago that there were other options, and what happened?"

"You cANNOt be serious right now-"

The door creaked open and Cinna's eyes snapped up to meet Teagan's as he excused himself from Eamon's chambers. He blinked at her, sitting across from the door, obviously miserable but unwilling to budge, and gave her a funny look.

"Maker, you're still here?"

"I mean, where else would I go?" she sighed, adjusting the folds of the hat on her head. She tucked a few loose strands into the back, and regarded the Bann with a tired expression on her face. "I told Cailan I'd be there for him when he went to go talk to his uncle, I didn't think Eamon would end up kicking me out so fast."

Teagan raised an eyebrow at her. "You seem to care a great deal about him. Which... I'm glad for, truthfully, I can't imagine the road to Redcliffe was easy, especially considering Cailan's... condition."

Cinna nodded, folding her hands in her lap. Eamon said something about Orlais which set Cailan off spectacularly, and they both winced at the sound. "Ostagar was a nightmare and a half, but I'm glad I could be a friend when it was needed... I just wish, uh, I could do more, you know? be more helpful. Even though I have no idea about anything, apparently... I know how to be a friend, at least."

"Yes..." There was a thoughtful look in Teagan's eye as he approached her, and Cinna slid over and offered him a corner of the bench to sit down. To her surprise, he did, and rested his arms on his knees. "Cailan's prone to making friends in court, but I'm not quite sure if he's had friends who are... quite as colorful."

Cinna snorted. Was that supposed to be an insult? "I'd rather be colorful and weird than some yes-man who agrees with everything he does. If that were the case, Ostagar would've gone a whole lot differently."

Tegan's eyebrows rose. "I see. Tell me, if I may be so bold as to ask; where do you hail from? I can't quite place your accent."

"My accent...?" Cinna paled, and shot him an awkward smile. "I've um- been from... around. Uh-"

"You're not Ferelden," Tegan surmised, and she dimly nodded her head. "So your loyalty to him is purely out of friendship?"

Now it was Cinna's turn to look at him. "Yeah, of course. Why else would I put up with him?"

"Forgive me, I only ask out of professional curiosity," he said awkwardly, looking hastily away from her. An uncomfortable silence followed, and Teagan scratched the side of his face. "So… have you been in Ferelden long?"

"I feel like we should be past smalltalk at this point," Cinna sighed, listening to the sounds of cailan and Eamon fighting. She gave the arl a side-glace, and thought over the lovely time they had spent together. One thing stuck in her mind, but she… didn't know how to broach the topic without being blunt. Ah, well, she and teagan were bros now, or something. It was worth a shot. "So… did Ferelden's last queen really die of the blight?"

He winced. Hard. Damnit, she'd appearentl hit a sore spot. Teagan's face went sombre. "My elder sister… and yes. It was a condition we had thought she'd overcome, after a trip to the deeproads. It returned a decade after with no clear warning… so you can understand how much of a shock it was." He let out a steady breath as cailan's voice rang out behind them. "Cailan was… quite close with his mother. You understand how this cure of yours is a delicate subject, yes?"

"Yeah…" she nodded dimly. Teagan watched her, likely waiting for some sort of sign she was untrustworthy or an asshole or something. Instead, she let out an unsteady breath and smiled at him. "I know what it's like to lose someone you love to illness. All too well, actually… but I promise you, I only have the best of intentions. All I want to do is help."

Holding her gaze for a moment, Teagan slowly nodded, and relaxed somewhat. "I thank you for your honesty. Despite my prior misgivings, I do admire your desire to cure the blight. As a grey warden there isn't a more noble cause I can think of. If there's anything me or my company can do, name it, and I will do what's within my power to see you have it."

"Blood?" Cinna asked, and then shook her head and immediately elaborated before Tegan called the chantry on her dumb dark-arts practicing ass. "I-I mean, I need patients to study and darkspawn to observe and basically just anything written by anyone on the blight, whether it be super old boring texts or something someone scribbled on the back of a napkin. Anything. There's a whole lot I don't know yet and a whole lot more that I could learn if I just had... resources."

He gave her a funny look. "You may find some useful texts in the castles library. I'll let the guards know to grant you access as soon as-" Voices raised once more behind them as someone else stormed towards the door, cutting their argument short. Teagan looked at her sympathetically. "...things clear up a bit."

"Dismissed from my own quarters, Maker's breath!" Eamon swore, turning towards Teagan with a fiery spark in his eyes. "I swear to you, that boy may have changed in some ways but he's still as stubborn as ever!"

Bann Teagan gave his older brother a tight-lipped smile, standing up from his spot next to Cinna. "I take it things didn't go well?"

"Don't even start... I'm too old for such discord again, and under my own roof no less! A civil war may be brewing outside, but the one hanging over my head is more than enough to deal with right now. Andraste forgive me, but he's exactly like his father!" Eamon rubbed his temples and swiftly walked past the two of them down the corridor, before stopping. He turned, slightly, and shot Cinna a short glance. "You can go see him if you wish, serah, but don't do anything you might regret. Maker preserve us if you do."

"Um… ok?" She said, watching him leave. She looked at Teagan for any sort of explanation, but he simply sighed and shook his head. "What was that about?"

"Better that you don't think on it," he said simply. Teagan gestured to the door, and gave her a weak, if approving smile. "Thank you for the conversation, Cinna. I'm sure what his highness needs right now is a friend. You can go see him now, and I'll try to ease my brother's temper."

"Thanks Teagan- er, Bann Teagan," she said awkwardly, rising from her chair.

He wrinkled his nose. "Don't strain yourself. Just-Teagan is fine."

Cinna snorted and headed for the door. As her hand closed in on the knob and opened the door, she jumped at the sound of glass breaking as something shattered across the other side of the room.

"Jesus, Cailan! What the hell was that for?"

"I should've known Eamon would be just as difficult as before!" he hissed, face red with poorly concealed anger. He sat on top of a chest near Eamon's bed, in a position that looked hardly comfortable, and Cinna took a step forward, minding the broken glass on the floor.

She gestured towards a nearby chair. "Do you want help sitting someplace else?"

"NO! No, I'm quite fine where I am, thank you," he snapped, tightening his hands by his sides. Seeing Cinna flinch at his tone, his shoulders slumped and he sighed deeply. "I'm... sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you, I just... ugggh..."

He covered his face with his hands and leaned forward. Cinna gently sat down next to him and patted his shoulder. "It's okay. I heard enough through the walls to understand that life can be shitty and complicated. Do you wanna talk about it...?"

"Not really," he sighed, and looked down at his feet, dangling off the side of the chest. "To think I prefer slumming it in the woods now compared to this."

"Oh come on, has castle life already made you forget the fact that none of us had access to soap? Or clean water? Or toilets? Cailan, the toilets," she stressed.

He glared at her. "I was trying to forget. I thank you for the reminder."

"Well, you're welcome," she huffed, dangling her feet next to him. He couldn't feel it, but she bumped his foot with hers. "You know it really could be worse."

He frowned, staring at her offending leg. "Than being flung around Ferelden like a sack of potatoes while we have no access to private toilets? Pray tell, Cinna, how can it get worse?"

"You could be dead." She shrugged. When he opened his mouth to argue she slapped a hand over his face and shot him a scathing look. "I'm serious, you being dead is a worse-case scenario Cailan, whether you wish it or not. The world is much worse off without you in it."

"Awe ywu gwimhg tuph gwphe mph bphak mph-" Cinna removed her hand and he grumpily cleared his throat. "Better. I could have you hanged for that you know."

"I mean, if you want to doom yourself, sure. We're kind of stuck together," she said, smirking. "For better or worse."

"I suppose you're right..." He looked over at her with a soft expression on his face, but it soon crumbled when he narrowed his eyes. "And the Hawke boy as well. You better limit your amount of patients before it gets out of hand."

"If you're implying that I won't be able to take care of everyone-" she started, but he cut her off.

"I'm implying that you have a limited amount of blood to donate, and a streak for risk taking that does not go unnoticed," he said pointedly. At her guilty expression, Cailan sighed, and leaned backwards onto the bed, propping himself up with his elbows. "I wouldn't want things to get to the point where you're forced to choose which of your patients is higher priority."

Ugh. Cinna hadn't considered that, but how could she justify choosing? The king of ferelden… kinda won by default, wouldn't he? How the hell was she supposed to be an impartial doctor when she was set up to fail from the start? She absolutely wouldn't forgive herself if she let someone die… and it wasn't fair to Carver. Damnit, maybe Cailan was right.

Cinna stared down at the broken glass on the floor. She swallowed hard. "You make… a fair point."

"I sometimes do, from time to time," he said lightly, watching her back.

She shook her head, and turned to him. "So do you wanna talk about anything Eamon said to you? Or do you want to just drop it."

Cailan made a face. "I'm sure you'll hear more about it later- and it's nothing you aren't already aware of. I just don't believe Loghain's betrayal was something he thought of far enough in advance to include Anora in."

Cinna pursed her lips. "But he is the kinda guy who would plan his strategies ahead of time, right?"

"Yes, but-" Cailan let a breath out through his nose and looked at her. "I don't want to go through this again. Loghain supported my forces completely for five other battles at Ostagar, that he chose to back out in the largest one speaks more of him taking advantage of an opportunity than planning to betray me from the start. I believe Anora is innocent."

Cinna held up both her hands. "I believe you. Do you need backup against Eamon next time the topic comes up? I can only help as long as he doesn't kick me out."

"That was rude of him," Cailan grimaced apologetically. "I'll make sure it doesn't happen again. And, hopefully, keep things a bit more civil next time we speak. Though I admit I'm not exceptionally looking forward to it. I'd rather just take some time and clear my head."

"Do you, um, want me around for that?" she said, getting up. She glanced at the glass on the floor. "Or- god, did you really have to chuck Eamon's crystal vase? It looked expensive."

"It felt appropriate at the time," he said, closing his eyes, and let himself fall backwards onto the plush mattress of Eamon's bed. "Just get a servant to clean up, I'll be here, wallowing. Hopefully feeling better about the whole situation later."

"Right..." She looked down at him. When Cinna had offered to council Cailain on things, she hadn't exactly expected for it to be his whole entire family. She certainly hoped Anora wouldn't be this much trouble when Cinna finally met her. If Cinna met her. If Eamon didn't have her branded a traitor by the end of the week alongside her father...

God, playing politics sucked. Cinna missed the days when her biggest concerns were worrying about how much cookie dough she was able to consume before contracting salmonella. Those were the days.

Before Cinna left, she could hear Cailan's muffled voice from underneath a pillow as he spoke. "I forgot to tell you- Duncan wants you down in the courtyard training with him soon. Something about warden practice and making sure we're all prepared for anything. Honestly I tuned most of it out because it didn't apply to me, but if you could do me a solid and hit Carver in the face for me once or twice, to repay a favor, I'd really appreciate it."

Cool, like her day couldn't get any more busy. Cinna sighed and tucked a strand of grey hair back into her cap.

Cailan removed the pillow from his face and gave her an amused stare across the room. "Oh, and he said no hats."

"Great!" she said, turning away from him. "I guess now's as good a time as any to quit the wardens and head back into the forest forever."

"Cinna," Cailan warned.

"Okay okay, I'm going!" She whined, holding her cap tightly to her head as she sped out the door.