After several hours auditioning countless women for their upcoming project the Player, Filia, and Squigly were finally on their break. The group sat at the judges table enjoying their lunch.
"Hey. You guys ever notice how many of our readers are actually interested in seeing a harem for this story?" The Player asked while picking up a few pieces of lettuce and chicken from his salad.
"Really?" Filia was looking confused since she hadn't actually heard anything about the request since way back when.
"Yeah. It's actually one of the more requested subgenres for us." The Player answered, biting into his food with a delicious soft crunch from the greens.
"Why?"
"I dunno. It's just something they want to see I guess."
"Pfft! You've had zero luck with every girl since you got here." Samson said. "Valentine isn't into you. Parasoul isn't into you. Cerebella has the hots for Vitale...weird considering that's supposed to be her adoptive father. Feng isn't relevant, and you've yet to have any meaningful connection to that cat thief."
"Hey! I could get any girl I wanted if I tried."
"Then why couldn't you get any of the ones I just listed?" Samson crossed his arms with a smug smile.
"They're...not my type. I ultimately decided against them."
"And yet you tried hitting on them."
"I never tried hitting on Feng or Nadia. I've broken out of that pointless thirsty archetype, ok? I've grown up."
Filia, Squigly, and Leviathan give him a half-lidded glance. "You were just drooling over that ninja from the Senran Kagura series." Filia flatly states.
"This isn't canon." The Player looks at them like they were crazy.
Suddenly the loud metal screech of the backstage door echoes throughout the empty auditorium,surprising the group since they weren't expecting anyone and the security guard was out for lunch and didn't have to be back for another hour. The sound of heels clicking against the bleached wood of the stage shortly followed after.
A white haired woman dressed in a Gothic maid attire walks out to the stage. She was dressed in a black dress with a skirt that exposes her right thigh, two white gloves with black fingers, and long black high heels with see-thru stockings that reaches up all the way to her thighs. Interestingly her eyes were obscured by what appeared to be a black blindfold of some kind, despite that she had no problems seeing where she was going.
"...A maid?" Leviathan questioned. "It's not time for us to go yet is it? They shouldn't be ready to clean until we're done with the auditions."
"No. We still have a few more hours." The Player answered. "We're not done reviewing our applicants, nor have we come to a conclusion on who's getting in."
"Odd." Leviathan curiously inclines a nonexistent brow.
"Um. Excuse me? Ma'am?" The Player called out to her. "We're not done with our business here. We have a few more hours before we can pack it up. It's not time for cleaning is it?"
The woman stops at the center of the stage and stands facing them. "No. I'm not here for cleaning." She answered.
"Are you here for an audition? We're on break. You don't have to be in for another hour."
"I'm not here for an audition either."
The Player, Filia, Samson, Squigly, and Leviathan were too confused to respond and just look at her funny.
"...Who is this weirdo?" Samson muttered.
"She must be in the wrong place. She's got a blindfold on, so no wonder." The Player whispered to his friends before turning back to the woman. "Ma'am, I think you should take that blindfold off, because I'm pretty sure you have the wrong hall."
The woman slightly tilts her head, confused, until she realized what he was addressing. She then points to her face. "This is a stand-issue YoRHa military visor designed with nanotechnology to help collect data from the environment. It also generates a helpful analysis of my enemies."
"...Sounds like an audition to me." Squigly said under her breath.
"Uh. Great? That's great. Can we help you?" The Player asked.
"I've been informed the 'Player' would be hosting an event to sample the talents of women from across various medias. I'm looking for the 'Player,' and my search has lead me here."
Filia and Squigly look over to the Player who was sitting in between them.
The Player hesitantly raised his hand. "I...would be the 'Player,' yes."
His answer briefly stuns the woman, she gasps softly, but focuses her eyes on him. "You're the Player? You mean it? Are you really the one?"
"Yeah. Well, it's not my actual name. It's an alias I go by. My real name is actually-"
The woman assumes a crouching start stance on stage and suddenly rockets off with an insane burst of speed. She soars across the hall and tackles the Player out of his seat.
Filia, Samson, Squigly, Leviathan don't react, their eyes still on stage, before they realize the woman seemingly teleported. It wasn't until they heard a loud grunt from the Player and his chair falling that they flinch and look over their shoulders, they find the woman had the Player pinned down on the floor. The girls stand and assume defensive positions.
"Player! Are you ok?!" Filia was horrified the woman was able to attack so quickly, but she was worried about her friend under the assailant.
"...How did...that not kill me...?" The Player was heavily winded after it felt like he was hit with a freight train.
"You're him...you're really...the Player." The woman looks down to him with an overly enthusastic smile that continues shaping into an even grander variant the more she settles into the success of her hunt.
After a small recovery period the Player managed to snap out of his mildly dazed state. Once he returns to his senses he looks up at the woman with a look of astonished horror. That speed and the power behind it, she was dangerous and could've easily killed him without either Filia, Squigly, himself, and even the Parasites noticing.
With the Player at her mercy she was free to do with him as she pleased. Unable to contain herself she wraps both arms around the back of his neck, she quickly pulls him up and smothers him! Smothers him right into an overly affectionate hug...
"I found you! I actually found you!" The woman rejoices ecstatically as she continued holding him very tightly.
Her monstrous strength was on full display as the Player lets out an agonized groan, his eyes open like they were going to pop out their sockets.
Filia, Samson, Squigly, and Leviathan stood there in frozen disbelief. That 'attack' they saw earlier was just an eager glomp tackle.
"I never thought I'd actually find you! I can't believe you're real!"
"What the hell is happening right now?" Samson was so confused it felt like his brain was in a state of numb limbo.
"I...don't know, but she seems to know the Player." Filia said.
Speaking of the Player he outreaches a hand to his friends from behind the woman. "H...el...p! He...l...p! Heeee...lllllpppppp...!" His words couldn't fully come out from the unintentionally violent hug, his words were horsed as air was becoming rare in his lungs.
The girls were only now realizing the Player was undergoing pain in all this loving affection, the woman was clearly unaware as she was so overjoyed it didn't even register that her superhuman strength was overwhelming the average human.
Squigly takes the initiative, stepping forward with her hand held out. "E-Excuse me. I really don't want to interrupt your reunion, but...the Player seems to be in pain." Her words didn't even register and the hugs continued. "Ma'am? You should really lighten the hold on him. He's starting to look winded. Maybe just a little less..."
There was still nothing but love going on, but she did release the Player, placing her hands on his shoulders and pulling away from him. Finally some relief.
"War after war, slaughter after slaughter, you've helped steer me through the worst of it! The world is so cold and alone but you've always been there with me!" And cue the hugs again, the woman wrapped both arms around the Player and proceeds to hold him. "This is the truly a momentous day!"
"Ma'am! You're going to kill him!" Filia exclaimed, taking it a step further by humorously assaulting her back with frantic, yet harmless, whacks.
Finally, she felt something. The woman ceased her hugs...for now, and looks over her shoulder. "Huh?" She looks back all innocent.
"The Player! Look at what you did!"
The woman faces the Player and sees him laying limp in her arms. She squeezed the life out of him, he wasn't dead, but he was out cold. A long squeal of defeat leaves his gaped mouth.
Lucky for the Player it only took several minutes to recover from losing consciousness. Once he was back to normal the group gathered round to figure out what exactly was going on with the arrival of this woman.
"Okay...so you've been looking for me?" He asked the woman after having a sip of water.
"Yes. That's right." The woman nods, she didn't seem short of smiles in his presence. "I can't tell you how much of an honor it is to finally meet you. I should also apologize for suddenly tackling you the way I did, but I couldn't help myself."
"Are you sure you have the right person, madam?" Leviathan inquired, he could see the Player was not at all familiar with her.
"Yeah. I don't think we've ever met." The Player added. "I don't even know your name."
"I am designated YoRHa No.2 Type B, or simply 2B. My deepest apologies, it was rude of me not to introduce myself beforehand." She bows her head to the Player apologetically.
"Your...ha? Weird. Never heard of it, but 2B is a lot easier than all that stuff you mentioned."
"How is it that you know this loser?" Samson asked.
"...Loser?" 2B repeated, now looking intensely at Samson. "I'm not quite sure what lifeform you're supposed to be, but I suggest watching your tongue. That's the Player you're talking about. You will address him with respect otherwise I'll personally see to it that you behave yourself in his presence."
The mood completely changed with the demands 2B issued. The group gives her a prolonged stare, unable to process where that just came from.
"...I like her." The Player comes around to a smile. "But I am curious — how do you know about me?"
"Everybody should know about the Player. In my universe I'm not allowed to fully interact with the Player do to laws surrounding interaction with humanity, though they are still ever present and we are able to acknowledge one another to very limited degrees."
"I don't think I follow." Leviathan said.
"Let me think of an example. Hmmmm... Ah. Well, there's one really well known instance. If the Player looks up my skirt for too long I'll eventually catch them in the act and swat them away."
Filia crossed her arms and gives the Player a long criticizing look of disapproval.
The Player eventually catches onto Filia's eyes and dismisses them confusion. "I-I didn't do it!" He assured.
"No. Not him." 2B addressed Filia. "Or, well, not this version of him. Every universe has their own Player, in mine I'm unable to interact to the extent that you all can. Here you're physically interacting and being with him."
"Well that's because this is a completely different scenario separate from what everybody knows from the source material." The Player said as though he was in the know.
"Oh, I'm well aware. I'm a different version of the 2B the Player in my universe guides to the true ending, that's why I'm able to be here and she's not."
Filia, Samson, Squigly, and Leviathan were paralyzed with bewilderment. What the f##k was even going on at this point?
"I see. So your universe operates on different timelines?" The Player continued to engage in the conversation.
"Yeah. Each branch is based on the alphabet: A-Z, there's a timeline where we ignore the story and go fishing."
"Ha! That's hilarious. Aaaah, man. I can't really believe it. You left your universe just to have some form of interaction with me since you can't engage with your Player? That's insane. I feel special."
"The timeline in which I exist no longer holds relevance since it doesn't lead to the final ending. I didn't have anything better to do. I was...hoping I could stick around. At least until you're done with this. I may never get this opportunity again, so I'd like to indulge, just for a little while. If it's not too much trouble."
"Sure. I don't see why not. You came all this way, it'd be mean to just turn you away. Right guys?"
The Player turns to where he last saw Filia and Squigly only to see a pile of life size mail in their stead. The girls pop their heads from out of the envelope pile, clearly more bills for the fourth wall.
"This is some confusing meta shit in which I will not take!" Samson exclaims, outraged at the random turn of events.
A/N: I know this seems random and nonsensical, but this stupid omake actually holds some relevant lore information XD