The final week of the holidays is a blur of back to school shopping, arguing over who gets the best stationery and Jeff trying to get Gordon to agree to not to prank his new teacher. Who is a freshly qualified teacher, straight out of college, and the last thing he needs is to have to teach Gordon!
"Hey Allie, looking forward to tomorrow? There was a new law introduced last week and now kindergarteners get 8 hours of homework a day" Gordon says to his younger brother.
It is the final day of the holidays and they are all gathered round the table in the kitchen for supper. Pizza ordered as a treat by Jeff, as the boys deserve a treat.
"Gordon!" Grandma replies warningly. "Don't listen to him Allie. One more word and its bed for you Gordon"
Gordon falls silent to concentrate on the pizza, holding it above his face and letting strings of melted cheese drip into his mouth.
"Father, that is disgusting" John says to Jeff, putting on a fake aristocratic British accent.
"He is right Squid, eat it properly or not at all" Jeff tells Gordon, who stuffs the rest of the pizza into his mouth in one bite then lets out a large belch, and pats his stomach appreciatively. "Mmm good pizza Dominos"
"GORDON!" Jeff can't help raising his voice. "Room. Now" He growls.
"Okay I am going, see you tomorrow Allie" He replies a menacing sarcasm in his voice. Before shoving his chair back and flouncing out the room.
"Daddy I don't wanna go to kindygarden" Alan tells him miserably.
"You will be fine, Gordon might tease you relentlessly, but he will be there to look our for you he promised you, didn't he?" Jeff replies, they have had this conversation numerous times over the summer, and nothing that his brothers or dad or grandma have said to him have been reassuring.
"What if he doesn't" Alan asks seriously.
"Then I will throw him out the window!" Scott tells him, "I looked out for Virg on his first day, Virg looked out for John, John looked out for Gordon. We have a family history of looking after each other Allie, and Gordon will be there for you"
"He won't" Alan burst into fresh tears.
"I will threaten him for you" Scott promises.
"You will not threaten anyone Scott" Jeff tells him sternly. "Alan I know you're scared, but you will love it once you get used to it"
Getting up from the table Jeff plucks the crying child up from his own seat for a cuddle. "How about ice cream it's the one thing your grandma can cook!"
That gets him a reluctant giggle from Alan, and a smack round the head from Grandma.
"Is Gordon getting any?" Alan asks.
"Nope, the consequences of picking on you is no dessert" Jeff tells him.
"Can I have his then?" Alan asks hopefully.
"No!" Jeff replies laughing. "Come on let's go and sort out the ice cream for everyone".
"Even Gordon?" Alan asks.
"NO!" Jeff repeats.
"But that isn't fair, he wasn't that bad, he has done much worse and you haven't starved him for it" Alan insists. Despite being the target for Gordons teasing Alan can't fathom his brother being denied a treat.
"I am not starving him Allie; he has been put to bed in disgrace for being rude" Jeff insists.
"I am taking him mine and giving him half" Alan insists.
"Okay fine, Gordon can have some ice cream, but I will take it up for him" Jeff replies giving in. punishing his boys is impossible when they gang up on him!
*TB*
Jeff taps on Gordons door before inviting himself in. Finding his wayward son lying on his back on the bed, staring absently at the ceiling.
"I bought you dessert" Jeff greets him, handing him a bowl as he sits up with an unrepentant grin. "We need to talk about tomorrow"
"Whatyawant?" Gordon replies his mouth full.
"You have got to stop picking on Alan, he is nervous enough about his first day at school, and your teasing isn't funny, and it isn't clever" Jeff tells him.
Swallowing quickly Gordon is offended, "Of course I will look out for him. He's the only little brother I have. Do you really think I would let anyone else but me pick on him? Come on dad, it's like you don't even know me!"
"Just be nice to him" Jeff tells him.
"Do I have to stay up here all night?" Gordon asks.
"Yes, and its lights out at 8:30" Jeff tells him.
"But my bedtime is 9 now, you said" Gordon lets out a heartfelt groan.
"Punishment bedtime in operation!" Jeff replies grinning.
"But that's not fair" Gordon whines.
"Life isn't fair, good night Gordo" Jeff replies with a grin, taking away the now empty bowl, and closing the door behind him.
Grandma finds him fast asleep when she goes up to put him to bed, lying on his back, mouth open, snoring loudly. The blanket has tangled itself around his body with his feet poking out of the end. She snaps a photo of him for prosperity as the Gordon-Burrito before untangling his limbs and placing the blanket across him before slipping out of the room.
*TB*
Getting Alan up for his first day of school is an experience they could all have lived without, as he is dragged out of bed by Jeff, who lost the game of rock-paper-scissors with Grandma.
"I don't feel good!" He wails as Jeff pulls the blanket off him.
"Not falling for that, come on Allie you need an education. You can't rely on looks and charm alone, trust me I know!" Jeff replies.
Alan doesn't even fake a smile, he just buries his head in Jeffs neck and cries.
"What can I do to make this better?" Jeff asks desperately. "I will do anything"
"Then you can go to kindygarden and I will do your job. Gordon said all you do is shout at people all day. I can do that!" Alan insists.
"Oh Allie, you have to go to school it's the law. How about you give it a try and if it is really as bad as you thought you don't have to go to college" Jeff tells him.
"Really?" Alan asks in awe.
"Really" Jeff replies. 'You can join Gordon in juvie' he manages to not say out loud!
"Promise?" Alan asks.
"Yes, I promise. Now come on get dressed and come and get some breakfast, as it is your first day, I am taking you in" Jeff tells him.
"But I want to go with Scotty" Alan tells him. Which earns him a facepalm from Jeff.
"Scotty will pick you up at home time, but you're my baby, my little boy and it's my right as your daddy to take you to school for your first day" Jeff tells him. "Now come on, you need some breakfast, lets go and fight John for the last bagel"
All 4 of his brothers are at the table, still in their pyjamas. Scott is already on his third coffee, John has his nose buried in a book and his mouth full of bagel, Virgil is eating porridge and Gordon is scribbling in a notebook.
"What are you doing Gordon?" Jeff asks.
"Homework" Gordon replies rolling his eyes.
"It's the first day!" Jeff replies incredulously.
"Yeah, I know, I should have started it weeks ago, but I'm not procrastinating this year. I am being responsible and doing it now rather than when Mr Stewart is collecting it" Gordon tells him shrugging.
"What is it?" Jeff asks.
"A holiday diary. Think anyone will believe that we spent the summer doing nothing?" Gordon asks.
"Great, Alan don't use your big brother as a role model!" Jeff tells him laughing.
"I won't!" Alan tells him.
"Gordo, about Mr Stewart, he is newly qualified, and this is his first teaching job. Be. Nice!" Jeff tells him.
"He is the one who emailed us homework, why am I the one who has to be nice?!" Gordon asks.
"Because if you don't, you will be grounded until New Year and I am cancelling both Halloween and Christmas!" Jeff tells him. "Now all of you get upstairs and get ready for school. I am taking you in this morning as it is Alans first day"
"And my last!" Alan tells his brothers.
*TB*
"Ugh I can't believe I am back in this dump" Gordon announces as they pull into the car park.
"Just think, the last time you were here you threw up all over dad!" John reminds him.
"I don't really remember it" Gordon shrugs. "I only really remember felling ill then the next few days just blend into one before I ended up in the hospital"
"Come on Allie" Jeff says to him, helping him out the car. "You two okay to go across the road?"
"Sure, come on Johnny, I will hold you hand so you don't get scared" Virgil tells him.
"Get lost Virg!" John replies laughing.
Alan watches 2 of his brothers get out the car and leave him to his fate. He is trembling as his dad leads him to the Kindergarten area.
"Jeff Tracy, and this is Alan" Jeff tells the teacher as they walk into the brightly coloured classroom. The walls are covered with posters of the alphabet and numbers. There are already 10 other children there, and Alan clings onto Jeffs hand.
"Hi Alan, I am Miss Hayter. Welcome to my classroom, come on I will show you where to hang up your coat and put your bag" She tells him kindly, and doesn't remind Jeff that she has taught his other 4 children and is well aware of his name!
He doesn't answer, instead clinging harder to his dads' hand. "Daddy" he whimpers, "I wanna go home"
"Just give it some time Allie, look paints – you can get filthy!" Jeff tells him, trying to appeal to his love of getting dirty.
"Can you not stay with me?" Alan asks.
Jeff looks at Miss Hayter, who smiles over Alans head.
"It is perfectly normal for him to experience a bit of separation anxiety, and you are more than welcome to stay while he finds his feet" She tells Jeff.
"You'll stay? Forever stay?" Alan asks hopefully. Looking up into Jeffs eyes.
"For as long as you need me Allie" Jeff confirms.
"Okay, can we go and paint?" Alan asks, dragging Jeff over to the art section.
Jeff only has to stay for an hour before Alan declares he doesn't need him anymore, and that this is not as scary as he thought it was.
"Okay Allie, I will see you when you get home" Jeff tells him, going to kiss him on the cheek, only for Alan to pull away.
"EUW daddy, not in public!" Alan tells him disgusted.
Jeffs laugh is more of a snort, as he gets up to leave.
*TB*
Billy hates recess without Gordon, but the result of his welcome back prank got him his welcome back detention! And he is spending his first day back standing outside Mr Morgans office. Laughing at the memories it was totally worth it!
*Flashback - 8:30am – Fourth grade classroom*
"We only have 10 minutes before the bell rings. I have the list here; I was finishing it at breakfast this morning. My dad is losing his mind, he believed that I was actually doing the homework Stewart set! As if!" Gordon tells him.
"Remember when he is doing the registration no laughing" Gordon tells them, opening up the register and replacing the official list with the one he has made up.
Gordon is sitting on his desk, his feet rested on the chair while he gossips with his gang, catching up on their summers and telling them about Toes. He is just about to tell them about the storm when Mr Stewart arrives.
"All right class settle down. Get off the desk" Mr Stewart announces, and if he knew Gordon better his obedience would have raised a red flag, as he jumps down from the desk and sinks into his seat.
"Okay I am going to seat you all alphabetically. When I call your name you will answer 'present Mr Stewart' and come and sit at the desk I am standing next too" he pauses briefly as he opens the register and takes out the list Gordon has planted.
"Don Alduk?" Mr Stewart Calls.
"Quack" Billy replies with a grin.
"No Don Alduk?" Mr Stewart tries again.
"Anita Bath?" Mr Stewart calls.
"You sure do Mr Stewart!" Gordon calls.
"I sure do what?" He replies.
"Need a bath!" Gordon tells him grinning.
"Be quiet, is Anita Bath here or not?" Mr Stewart asks. Ignoring the giggles from the class. "I am going with not"
"Ben Dover?" again no response, but he has lost control of the class now as they are all laughing hysterically.
"Very. Funny" Mr Stewart tells them. "STOP LAUGHING ALL OF YOU OR I WILL SEND FOR THE PRINCIPAL!" losing his temper.
"We aren't scared of the Principal" Gordon tells him.
"I am guessing you are the one behind this stupid stunt?" Mr Stewart accuses him.
Gordons poker face is almost perfect, but his eyes are twitching with laughter and guilt.
"Principals office now" Mr Stewart tells him, opening the door. "First give me your holiday diary"
"Oh I never did that!" Gordon tells him fleeing the room laughing with the note from Mr Stewart.
Gordon knocks on Mr Morgans door.
"Come in" His voice from the other side. "Gordon? It isn't even 9 o'clock and it's the first day back What did you do?!" he tells him exasperatedly.
"It was a harmless prank to break the ice!" Gordon tells him handing the note over. Watching as his eyes skim it, smirking as he groans loudly.
"Gordon, what were you told?" Mr Morgan asks. "This school has done everything possible to make your life here happy. You got your longer recess, and shorter class times and you can have breakfast in class now!"
"Dad said no pranks, because he is new, but if I gave him special treatment the other teachers would end up resenting him. The prank was for his own good." Gordon insists.
"You have the worst morals Gordon Tracy" Mr Morgan tells him. "You know the drill, no recess today and detention on Saturday"
"Worth it" Gordon tells him.
"And I am telling your father, now get back to class and I will see you at recess" Mr Morgan tells him.
*End flashback*
Billy knows going near the office to see Gordon will get them both into even more trouble, but he hasn't seen his best friend in nearly 3 months, and It is almost worth the risk.
His mind made up, he heads over to the office where Gordon is indeed standing outside facing the wall.
"B-b-billie!" A sob from behind him calls out. Turning round he finds Alan standing behind him.
"Allie what's wrong?" he asks concerned and running back over to him, leading him as far away from the office as he can as he knows if Gordon hears his brother crying then he will leave the wall and end up in more trouble.
"I hate it here!" He wails miserably. "I want Gordy"
"What happened?" Billy asks.
"The kids are mean, and my teacher hates me because I am Gordons brother" He tells him miserably.
"Slow down and start from the beginning" Billy tells him leading him over to an empty bench.
"Miss Hayter asked me if I was Gordons brother then looked at me with growls in her eyes when I said yes. Then Bruce said I have to be really good or I will get put in the cage or miss Hayter will hit me with a ruler in front of the whole class" Alan cries. "I don't want to go in the cage, and I don't want to be hit, so I ran out of the kindygarden area as soon as we went outside so I can find Gordy, but I can't find him".
"He is in detention!" Billy tells him.
"Already?" Alan asks, his eyes widen in shock.
"Yeah, we think it is a record!" Billy tells him laughing. "Come on lets go and break Gordy out of detention"
Alan hops up from the bench and grabs Billy's hand. Billy shows him to the office before letting him loose to go and spring Gordon from the wall.
"Gordy" He whispers, sneaking up behind him.
"What are you doing here?" Gordon asks, moving Alan in front of him so no one will catch him.
"I wanna go home Gordy, I don't wanna go in the cage and I don't want Miss Hayter to smack me like you got smacked" He wails.
Gordon is confused, there is no way he is going to let anyone hit his brother. "Come with me" He tells him forgetting about the trouble he is already in and walking Alan back to the fenced off Kindergarten area.
"Alan! I was just about to send a search party out looking for you, what's wrong?" Miss Hayter asks concerned at the tears streaming down his cheeks.
For the third time Alan repeats his tale of woe. "You hate me and you're going to put me in the cage and then hit me with a ruler in front of everyone!"
"I'm sorry, what?!" Miss Hayter replies.
"You asked me if I was Gordons brother then looked at me like you wanted to bake me in a pie when I said yes! And Bruce said because you hate me so much, you're going to put me in the cage and beat me with a ruler"
"Oh Allie, I am sorry if you thought that. There is no cage. And legally I am not allowed to lay a finger – or a ruler – on you, and personally I abhor all forms of child cruelty and I wouldn't hit you if someone offered me a million dollars. And neither of you can tell anyone this, but Gordon was a lot of fun to teach, yes he was a brat at times and I have not forgotten the wig trick but he was one of the nicest, kind hearted kids I have ever taught." Miss Hayter reassures him. "I will deal with Bruce, I won't have bullying in my classroom, and if you cause half as much trouble as Gordon did me and you will get on just fine!"
"Really?" Alan asks, a small smile breaking out on his face.
"Really. Now let's get you cleaned up, and let Gordon go back to his friends." Miss Hayter tells him.
"I am supposed to be in detention, wanna tell Mr Morgan I only left for a really good cause?" Gordon asks hopefully.
"Really Gordon?! It is the first day! Come on let's get your big brother back to detention" Miss Hayter tells him laughing.
Mr Morgan is standing in the doorway of the office, looking distinctively unimpressed, his arms folded in front of him as Mrs Hayter walks Gordon back to him, with Alan on her other side. "Well?" He asks.
"This is my fault" Alan tells him shyly. "Put me in detention not Gordy"
"Sorry?" Mr Morgan asks, looking at Miss Hayter for an explanation.
"Allie heard some rumours and got scared and run away to find Gordon, Gordon bought him back and we calmed him down. He did a good deed, he only left for a really good cause" Miss Hayter replies, smiling at Gordon.
"Okay I will let you off, just go and enjoy the rest of your recess Gordon, and I will see you on Saturday!" Mr Morgan tells him laughing.
Gordon doesn't give him the chance to change his mind. "Thanks Sir, see you later Allie, by Miss Hayter" he calls back as he runs off to find his gang.
"Hey guys, I'm back! Miss me?" He asks grinning.
"Gordo! Still the expert in getting out of trouble I see" Ginny tells him laughing.
"Just being a big brother, thanks for getting me Billy. All sorted, and Miss Hayter said I was a joy to teach and her favourite student"
"Yeah right did she!" Billy replies laughing.
"Sort of" Gordon amends.
*TB*
As promised Jeff is at home waiting for a full report from all the boys on there first day back. As they gather round the table with glasses of milk, juice and in Scott's case more coffee and tell him all about it.
"Gordy got detention daddy, but he saved me from some mean kids so he's not all bad and this afternoon Miss Hayter let me play with the toy rocket." Alan informs him.
Jeff groans. "Detention?! What did I tell you yesterday?"
"It wasn't my fault; I was just making sure Mr Stewart knew who ran the classroom that's all!" Gordon tells him.
"He does, he is the teacher!" Jeff tells him, at least this year it is just detention and just expulsion Jeff thinks as the others all tell their tales. Virgil's highlight being told by the football coach that he can try out for a place in the team once his nose is healed. Johns highlight was a pop quiz on American history which he got an A+ on, the highest grade in the class. Scott tells him that he had a talk with a careers advisor who is advising him to apply for Yale, and that he is seriously considering it, even though it will take him far away from his brothers.
Jeff knows that Scott deserves Yale, but he can't deny being glad that Alan and Gordon have no idea just how far away it is.