Chapter 29 - Backup

Hermione's heart thudded as Malfoy's mother let Malfoy back into the Room of Requirement's rendition of Professor Snape's office. Talking to Narcissa about, well, everything had both clarified and muddied things for Hermione regarding Malfoy. Perhaps Malfoy didn't really mean the cruel things he said, but he still said them, and so…

Hermione took a deep breath and straightened up in her seat. None of that mattered in the moment. She had to get free of this curse.

Malfoy's eyes found hers from across the room, and she could see the relief in them as she held his gaze. "You're still there," he said.

"Where else would she be?" Narcissa quipped in her husband's voice. The polyjuice was still in full effect, transforming Narcissa's appearance into a perfect replica of her husband Lucius, and Hermione dreaded the next step. "Draco, this is for you," Narcissa said, handing him a second bottle of brewed polyjuice.

Malfoy's eyes narrowed at the bottle, darted to the bracelet still on Hermione's wrist, then rose to her eyes once more. Something steeled in him. He took the potion and tossed it back in a single gulp. "That is disgusting."

"It's polyjuice potion," Narcissa replied calmly. "Did you expect elderberry wine?"

"No," Malfoy whimpered as his face twisted in anguished disgust and his features shifted and filled out slightly. Narcissa calmly charmed the clothes to expand with Malfoy as he changed. Very soon, Hermione was looking at the appearance of Lucius in Malfoy's school clothes alongside Narcissa's appearance as Lucius in his usual robes. Malfoy straightened up slowly and dusted himself off. "I'm never doing that again," Malfoy complained. He looked to his mother. "Now?" he asked.

Narcissa nodded.

Hermione took a deep breath as Malfoy's eyes turned to her again. Fear flashed in them, and then he approached her with a blank face and knelt down by her chair on the side by her bracelet. He paused and frowned while staring at her bracelet. "We don't have to go back to how we were."

Hermione swallowed. "I know," she said.

Malfoy flinched, and Hermione nearly caved into reassuring him right there. However, she knew things were off between them, and any encouragement might offset the little balance Hermione had mustered together since she left his room. She needed some time away from him. She needed to sort her feelings. She needed to set some boundaries and figure out how to explain all of this to Harry and Ron. Furthermore, she didn't even know what all Malfoy wanted. His actions showed that he cared for her, but to what end?

Malfoy seemed to be going through his own internal battle as well, a dozen expressions flitting across his handsome face while he gazed at the bracelet. Pain pinched his brow. He closed his eyes and took in a slow, deep breath before blowing it out and opening his eyes again. It was strange that, while he looked like his father due to the polyjuice, Hermione had little difficulty seeing Malfoy instead.

Malfoy hesitantly took her hand into his left one, then used his right hand to carefully pull the bracelet down.

It fell to her hand and refused to move further. Hermione's heart dropped in her chest. It didn't work.

Malfoy blinked with surprise and turned to his mother. Narcissa walked over, knelt down beside her son, and put her hands onto the bracelet as well. Together, both under the polyjuice effect to appear as Lucius Malfoy, they tugged on the bracelet. It moved another inch and stopped. Malfoy stared at the bracelet as if stupefied. His mother, however, calmly rose to her feet and brushed herself off. "I suppose I need to pay a visit to Azkaban then," she said.

Malfoy clenched Hermione's hand. "Mother, Father won't…"

"He will," Narcissa interjected firmly. "Miss Granger," she said in a kinder voice. "I do apologize for interrupting your studies in the library. You may return to them now."

It was a dismissal. Even Malfoy understood, as he squeezed her hand gently before stepping back to stand by his mother.

Hermione half-wished she could stay and be part of the conversation. Then again, if they intended to free her anyway, perhaps… "Before I go, may I ask a favor?" she said as she pulled herself up.

Two visions of Lucius looked back at her with polite, curious expressions that Hermione had never seen the real Lucius wear on his face.

"I can't write my notes on parchment," Hermione explained. "The curse won't let me."

"Is that why you had ink all over your arms and legs?" Malfoy asked with an expression she once thought a sneer, but now knew was just his way of expressing disbelief.

"Please," Hermione said, appealing to Narcissa as well. "If you intend to release me with my memories intact, surely you can allow me to write before then so I don't fall behind on my studies."

"Mother?" Malfoy said, his expression carefully blank.

"Draco, you're practically a man, and have endured far more than many grown men. Do you really need my approval to grant Miss Granger the use of parchment for her quill? After all, you already returned the use of her wand without ever consulting me."

Malfoy both blushed and bristled at once. "Do you not intend to hold her to a vow?"

It was a valid question, and one that confused Hermione as well, given that Narcissa had tried to free Hermione without first holding her to a vow and asked her son to do the same.

Narcissa smiled slightly, and as they watched, her appearance as Lucius slowly began to melt back into her own. "Learning to trust is one of the most difficult and powerful lessons in life. Did you require a vow from her before you gave her wand back?"

Malfoy scowled. He opened his mouth, as if to retort, then closed it again. He faced Hermione and held her gaze, searching her eyes for something, though she didn't know what. As he stared, his appearance as Lucius Malfoy began to fade, and he was soon fully himself, his robes once again fitted to his usual size.

He was so very handsome, and Hermione bit her lip against the frustration she felt between wanting to know him better and knowing she needed space from him to think clearly.

Malfoy swallowed. "Hermione Granger, I give you every freedom I may return to you under the curse. You may use your magic however you like, speak with whoever you wish, write on whatever you like, if it's within my power to make it so."

Hermione felt dizzy with shock. Had Malfoy really just given back her ability to communicate without limits or requiring something in exchange? "I don't understand," Hermione said as she found her breath again.

Malfoy raised an eyebrow at her. "You're the brightest witch of the age. Figure it out." He turned to his mother, who looked at him with wide eyes. "Excuse me, Mother, but I need to go. Enjoy talking to Granger as yourself."

Malfoy opened the door and slipped out without another word or glance to either of them, leaving Hermione alone with Narcissa. Narcissa stared at the door, her face a mix of shock and concern.

"Right," Hermione said after a moment of awkward silence. What could she say to Narcissa Malfoy after all that just happened? Thanks for trying? "It was nice speaking to you," Hermione finally said. "I need to get back to my studies though." She couldn't wait to try writing again, and to talk to Ginny without resorting to morse code!

Narcissa took in a deep breath and sighed before turning from the door. Her eyes passed right over where Hermione stood, then scanned the room again quickly before narrowing. Her eyes widened suddenly, as with realization, and she massaged her temple, sighing again. "Of course," she said wryly.

Hermione felt her stomach drop. "You don't know that I'm still here, do you?" she asked Narcissa.

"I expect you're still here," Narcissa said. Her eyes scanned the room. "I can't see you if you are, nor can I hear you if you're speaking. I think we can assume my son's efforts to give you more freedom under the curse failed."

Hermione's heart raced. "But I've not even tested the writing yet…"

"I suppose it's not unexpected," Narcissa continued. "The curse is meant to prevent you from interacting freely with those outside of the Malfoy lineage. I do wonder if Draco would be able to give specific exceptions, however, such as he already has with your wand use, and I imagine other things as well." Narcissa paused with furrowed brow. "I will ask that he allow us to speak and write to each other, Miss Granger. I would value your correspondence, if you don't mind indulging an older witch."

Hermione stared at Narcissa. Their tete-a-tete had gone rather better than Hermione had expected, but not so well that companionship between them was warranted. Narcissa was still Malfoy's mother, and Hermione was still Malfoy's… not-quite-friend. Then again, they were connected through the curse until she was freed. Furthermore, they would need to work together to ensure that Malfoy wasn't harmed from the fallout of the curse.

"I need to leave now, Miss Granger," Narcissa said before Hermione could clear her head. "It was truly a pleasure to learn your mind. I look forward to when we speak again."

Hermione watched Narcissa let herself out of the room, leaving Hermione alone with entirely too many thoughts. If Narcissa couldn't see or hear her, then she was back to using morse code with everyone but Malfoy. Or perhaps, if he could let her speak with specific people, she could ask him to include Ginny and Luna in that list? And Harry?

She would also have to determine if she could write freely.

Hermione went to Professor Snape's desk and glanced around. Immediately, as if summoned, she found parchment, a quill, and an ink pot. She prepared the nib of the quill, dipped it in the ink pot, and brought it to the parchment.

It stopped a finger span from making a mark.

Hermione felt something important deflate inside. She slowly sank back into the chair, and her arms dropped down beside her. Even with Malfoy's blessing, she still couldn't write on her own.

She would need the library books after all.

Seeing Malfoy again so soon had not been her plan, but he had her library books sent to his room, and she needed to test if he could free her to speak to specific persons, even if it required limitations on what was discussed.

She wondered also why he had tried at all… both to free her and then to minimize the curse's restraints on her when the former failed. He had said he wanted to keep her cursed, hadn't he?

Had he?

Did his words even matter when his actions contradicted them?

Hermione ran her fingers through her long, frizzy hair and decided to solve the puzzle of Draco Malfoy… but how? And did it even matter when there were so many more important things going on? Narcissa already intended to free her through Lucius, though Hermione was not sure what that would entail. Somehow, she thought it unlikely that Lucius would let her go that easily. However, once she was free, she would be able to finish school easily and go back to…

Hermione bit her thumb in contemplation. What would she go back to? Not Ron, clearly. George and Ginny were still her friends, however, and she expected that the end of her relationship with Ron would not end her friendship with him… though she certainly didn't want to leap back into it. She had Harry, but Harry was busy between his auror duties and Ginny. Her parents…

She didn't want to think about her parents.

Oddly, it was her loss of appetite that reminded her to check the time. She had never been good at remembering herself when she got caught up in a project, and the day had been a blur of being dragged from one thing to another with multiple naps… She frowned. What day was it, anyway?

Hermione pulled her timepiece out and checked it. Her frown deepened. "May 4th? But the anniversary of the war was May 2nd, which means it's only been…"

It had been only two days since she had been cursed.

Somehow, the room suddenly seemed darker and further away, and Hermione felt like she was spinning, though she remained sitting still. Her heartbeat thumped like a drum with only the crackle of the fire in the fireplace to accompany it.

In two days, she and Malfoy had gone from barely acknowledging each other to… whatever they were now. "Nothing, most likely," Hermione amended. Her eyes felt hot and wet, and the room came back into focus as the first tear burned its way down her cheek, and she gasped with horror at herself for crying over a connection that was only two days old. How was it she kept forgetting how little time had passed? How in the Queen's name had she fallen so deeply so quickly?

"You're smarter than this, Hermione Jean Granger," she chastised herself. "You went years waiting for Ronald Weasley to grow up and take you seriously, and in just two days, you lose your mind over someone who used to bully you and fought against your kind in the war?"

Her arms hurt, and she realized she had dug her nails into them while hugging herself. She pulled them away and studied the little crescent marks she had left for a moment before healing them with a quick spell.

"What am I doing?" Hermione moaned. She had never felt so lost before, and all over a boy who didn't even return her feelings. "I'm pathetic," she whispered.

More tears fell, and she stared at the fire without really seeing it. Distantly, she realized that her stomach was complaining, and she checked the time again. It was nearly dinnertime, and she hadn't eaten since breakfast. She had missed lunch.

Briefly, Hermione considered skipping dinner as well, but she needed to think clearly, which meant she also needed to eat. Nevermind that she already felt nauseous, she could not neglect her body and expect to sort her thoughts in any rational manner. Her emotional state was already likely evidence of her poor self-care.

Standing up from her chair took all the focus and determination she typically required when training, and she felt sluggish as she reached the door and opened it.

Had she more energy, she might have tried levitating herself to the Great Hall instead of walking. Of course, if she had more energy, she wouldn't mind walking either. "Why haven't I tried levitating myself before?" Hermione pondered out loud as she made her way downstairs. Of course, it was a trick to levitate the clothes holding the person, and they might require strengthening spells not to rip...

Thankfully, the magical staircases were quite cooperative.

The Great Hall was full with students for dinner by the time she got there. She froze as she entered, recalling Malfoy's earlier request that she join him for dinner. Of course, that was before the Room of Requirement and the failed attempt to free her. Would he still want her company now?

Would he still want her company after the curse?

Feeling rather disoriented for all the thoughts racing through her, Hermione made her way towards the Slytherin table, not even thinking to check whether Malfoy was even there until she found his usual seat empty. She sat beside his seat anyway, recognizing that she might not find the courage to return if she left the table now, and she needed answers to her questions.

He had expected her to be obliviated before she was freed, but what now? Would they be friends? Well, perhaps not right away. They had only got along two days now, after all. Well, technically, two and a half, as it was now evening, and she had been cursed in the morning. However, if you considered that they had not gotten along that first day, then…

"Granger?" Malfoy said, interrupting the tangent of her thoughts. He stood close enough behind her that she could feel his warmth, and he placed a hand on her shoulder to balance himself as he slid into his seat at her side. Heat exploded from his touch and lingered even after he removed his hand and focused on serving himself. "Enjoy your talk with my mother?" he asked her. His tone was casual, but his eyes were carefully watching her reaction.

Hermione frowned, wondering what he was looking for. "She was very considerate," Hermione hedged and bit her lip. She knew she needed to tell Malfoy about the curse still being fully in place, but she didn't quite want to bring it up either. It felt too much like shoving his efforts in his face.

Malfoy watched her another moment and then dug into his food. "I'm surprised you chose to sit here, given that you can talk to your friends again."

Hermione flinched. 'I can't," she said. She cringed at her own bluntness, but it was out now, and he was staring at her carefully again. "It didn't work. I'm sorry," she explained, but as the words left her mouth, she realized something: Malfoy wasn't surprised. He only nodded as if she had confirmed a theory for him.

"You knew," she said, only mildly annoyed that he had feigned ignorance.

Malfoy shrugged. "I suspected. I realized after I left that it had been quiet this time."

Hermione stared at him, confused. Her perplexion must have shown, because a moment later, Malfoy scooted closer and reached across her lap to stroke the bracelet, causing it to jingle. His hand grazed up her forearm lightly as he removed it, and even through the thick robe, Hermione felt her skin tingle.

"It had responded the other times I changed something," Malfoy explained in a low, husky voice.

Hermione shivered. He was still closer to her than he had initially been when he sat down. She wondered at that, but perhaps he simply hadn't thought to move back yet. He was right about the bracelet, though. She remembered the gentle music it had made when Malfoy had returned her wand and allowed her to strike him under the curse. She tried to remember what happened today, but her mind had been so caught up in the shock of Malfoy's declaration that she couldn't recall the other details.

"Have you tried writing yet?" Malfoy asked her, still in that quiet tone.

Hermione looked down sadly and nodded. "Couldn't touch the parchment with the quill. Your mother realized what happened. She thinks you may be able to give me permission to write or speak with someone specific for a purpose." Hermione left out that Narcissa wanted to stay in touch. She didn't quite feel up to facing his reaction to that.

"Chin up, Granger. We'll figure something out," Malfoy said. "The library books are in my room, and we can test my mother's theory there. Let's go after dinner."

His room? Hermione swallowed hard as she tensed at the idea of spending more time alone with Malfoy when her thoughts were in such disarray. Of course, there wasn't really a better option to avoid others from discovering the truth of his limited control over her curse.

Her consternation must have shown, because a moment later, she felt Malfoy's hand gently squeeze her knee under the table before retreating. "Relax, Granger. We may well be the two brightest minds of our year. I'm sure we'll sort you out."

Hermione stared at him. The shoulder pat when he had sat down was not so very strange, nor was his grazing her wrist when pointing out her bracelet, but squeezing her knee to comfort her? After their talk in the Room of Requirement, she thought that… She thought that… Well, she really wasn't quite sure, but she had expected him to be more distant afterwards.

"I'm afraid I'll regret asking, but why are you looking at me like that?" Malfoy asked in between bites of food. He glanced down, noticed her empty plate, and scowled before dumping a variety of random food on it. "Eat," he ordered.

Hermione blushed. She had been so focused on speaking with Malfoy that she forgot all about dinner itself. She made a point to spear some brisket on her fork and bring it to her mouth, thankful for the excuse not to answer Malfoy's question on her thoughts. Beside her, Malfoy ate silently and efficiently, as if the meal were something to check off his list rather than to enjoy.

Her thoughts wandered again as she realized that no one had interrupted them this time, and her eyes scanned the room. Ginny was deeply involved in a conversation with her fellow 7th years at the Gryffindor table. Hermione found Luna at the Ravenclaw table studying quietly in between sips of soup. The only person who seemed to notice them was Theodore Nott, who gave Malfoy a long, curious look from further down the table, but the other Slytherins were clearly minding their own business. Perhaps the novelty of Malfoy eating with an invisible Hermione Granger had worn off.

"Eat, you ninny. Don't think I won't force feed you if I have to," Malfoy threatened.

A few days ago, Hermione would have sarcastically retorted that it almost sounded like he cared about her, but now… She took another bite, chewed and swallowed, and cleared her throat. "I really appreciate how much you're doing for me, Malfoy."

Blush colored Malfoy's pale cheeks, and he scowled. "Just eat, Granger."

Hermione bit her lip against a smile and continued with her meal.

No promises yet, but I'm aiming for a return to the every-other-Friday posting schedule.