I can't believe it!
Dick: what?
This is insane!
Jason: what is?
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!
Damian: is she alright?
Tim: I don't know.
Did I really upload another chapter so quickly?! GHASP.
Dick: that's what has you so excited?
Say what you want, but it does have me excited. -w-
Dick: ok, then...
I made this chapter purposefully hard to read, cause I'm not heartless as to expect every person in the entire universe to read Shakespearean.
Jason: wait, what?
You heard me. I've asked Dick to translate everything for your reading pleasure. His translations will be in bold text.
Dick: it's more for their sanity pleasure than reading pleasure, but whatever.
I'm sorry Jake is a very random addition to this story.
Tim: what?
And I don't know if Blackfire actually has an Earth name or not, so I took the liberty of creating one for her.
Damian: repeat that, please?
Prisma19: I'm running out of praise to give you! It's people like you who give me hope for the world.
Dick: wait, hope for the world? That's illegal.
Shut it and help me out.
Lunch was over quickly. This was yet another story that no one was familiar with, and they couldn't wait to hear it.
Dick sat down in the Story Chair, making himself comfortable.
Alright, once upon a time-
He was interrupted by a knock at the door. Jason sighed heavily.
"Who has come to torture us this time?" he asked no one in particular. Tim scoffed and Damian stood up to get the door. He called back into the room.
"Um… Grayson? Didn't you say that Kory has a sister?"
Dick, with wide eyes, stood up and made his way over to the door, the others right behind him. Sure enough, there was Damian, standing at the door. It was opened, revealing Kory and Mari, along with an older woman with blackish-purplish hair and purple eyes. Beside her was a little boy about two years younger than Mari with black hair and blue eyes. Dick recognized them both immediately, and a smile overtook his face.
"Hey Mandy, hey Jake!" he said. Jake smiled and walked inside the manor, followed by Mari. Mandy sighed.
"I still wish you came up with something better than 'Mandy'," she said. Dick smirked at her.
"Well, I can't walk around calling you Komand'r all day without attracting strange looks," he told her.
"Was there really no alternative?" she asked. Dick pretended to think about it for a moment.
"Koma," he said. Her eyes narrowed in a slight glare, as did Dick's. Kory cleared her throat uncomfortably.
"So, anyway… Jake is finished with his studies," she said. Dick nodded.
Two years ago, his son, Jake, showed signs of having powers. Since Mari still didn't know about it at the time, and she wasn't showing any signs of having powers, they had sent Jake to be trained by Blackfire… or Komand'r. He still had a hard time calling her that.
The lie was a simple one. Jake had been accepted to a school somewhere else in the country, and he would be staying with their aunt while he was there. Now, he was back, and hopefully with a lot of training.
Oh, boy, that would be fun.
Mandy threw her arm around Kory's shoulders. She was still taller than her little sister, and Kory looked very uncomfortable with her sister's arm around her, which Mandy ignored.
"My sister and I need to catch up," she said nonchalantly. "You guys have the whole day to each other."
Dick nodded. She was good now, but there was still a touch of mischief that Dick didn't quite trust to leave alone. Kory could fend for herself, but he still didn't feel entirely comfortable leaving these two alone together.
"Just make sure you don't give Kory any jewelry," he said. Mandy smirked.
"I don't have any on me," she said. She turned around suddenly and started walking away. Kory leaned close to Dick's ear and whispered.
"I'll keep an eye on her." Dick nodded.
"Don't let her go through any black holes or illegal star systems," he whispered back. Kory started laughing and backed away. She turned around and followed her sister. Dick closed the door and turned to everyone, who were still standing around him. Dick's face went a little red and he coughed into his fist.
"Ok… that happened," he said. When no one said anything still, Dick gestured to the main room. "Back to the stories."
Dick settled back into the Story Chair again. Mari sat down on the couch beside her brother, explaining what was going on. He was nodding along, looking a little confused, and smiling. Dick smirked to himself, thinking that he would have to throw Jake into a story at some point.
Dick cleared his throat, getting everyone's attention. He smiled brightly at them all.
"Alright, shall we try this again?" he asked.
Once upon a time, there was a kid named…
Dick looked at the ceiling in thought. Who should it be…?
An evil smile came to his lips.
Jon. He lived with his unimportant father, sister, and mother in a cottage where they were all dirt poor.
"Not another one!" Steph exclaimed. Dick blinked curiously.
"Another one?" he asked. "But I've only told four-and-a-half stories with people that are poor."
"And a half?" Jake asked. Dick nodded.
"Yeah, the Cat and the Mouse only counts for half since they were animals."
"I renounce that statement," Jason said, raising his hand. Damian coughed into his arm, but there was a smirk on his face. Dick frowned at him.
"Thou shalt not renounce thine statement," he said. Jason's eyes narrowed in confusion, and Tim rolled his eyes.
"Calm down Shakespeare, we don't want a war," he said. Damian, Cass, and Jake snickered. They went silent when Dick smirked at them.
Wint'r wast at each moment brutal f'r his family, but those gents w'ren't both'r'd by t too much. (Winter was brutal, but they weren't bothered by it.)
"Wait… what?" Jason asked. Damian flinched.
"Um… Grayson?" he asked. Dick ignored him.
Thee seeth, those gents hadst a quite quaint golden stove yond hath kept those folk sup'r warmeth ev'ry year. T hadst 'riginally cometh from a palace, but t somehow end'd up with those folk. I knoweth not how, but t didst.
(You see, they had a beautiful golden stove that kept them super warm every year. It had originally come from a palace, but it somehow ended up with them. I don't know how, but it did.)
"Can anyone understand what he's saying?" Wally asked. Everyone shook their heads 'no'.
Dick continued to smirk at them.
One day, Jon's fath'r cameth home with a container of gold chinks and toldeth ev'ryone yond that gent hadst did sell their belov'd stove.
"Why wouldst thee doth yond, father? Thee didn't coequal asketh us first!" Jon did complain.
(One day, Jon's dad came home with a bag of gold coins and told everyone that he sold their beloved stove.
"Why would you do that, dad? You didn't even ask us first!" Jon complained.)
"S'rry, brother, but we needeth the wage," his father hath said. "Besides, wouldn't thee rath'r consume this year instead of starve?"
("Sorry bro, but we needed the money," his dad said. "Besides, wouldn't you rather eat this year instead of starve?")
"I'm quaint sure ev'ryone wouldst chooseth food ov'r starving, but anon thou art just being unfair," Jon toldeth that gent.
("I'm pretty sure everyone would choose food over starving, but now you're just being unfair," Jon told him.)
"Is anyone else bothered by the fact that Dick is just casually sprouting Shakespeare?" Barbara asked. This made everyone freeze. Steph and Cass's mouths dropped open in shock, Roy and Wally face-palmed, and the rest of the Bats groaned. Mari giggled and Jake rolled his eyes with a small smile on his face.
Not much changed in the last two years, it seemed.
"Thither's few or none will entertain it," did doth sayeth his father. "Point is, we're freezing this year in favor of having a decent meal."
("Whatever, said his dad. "Poi- "well, ok, I don't need to translate the second part.)
"At least that one made a little bit of sense," Cass said. Damian sighed and buried his head in his hands.
"But yond's nay fair!" Jon did complain.
"Did shut 't," did doth sayeth his father. "I hath't the final word."
So, the next day, some dudes did doth cometh ov'r and did steal hence their precious stove. Jon, did upset, did climb into the stove the previous night for a final nap. Don't asketh wherefore he did nap in the stove, but he did doth.
(Why would you do this to me? Ok, let's see…
"But that's no fair!" Jon complained.
"Shut it," said his dad. "I have the final word."
So, the next day some dudes came over and stole away their precious stove. Jon, upset, climbed into the stove the previous night for a final nap. Don't ask why he napped in the stove, but he did.)
Dick panted a little bit. That one was a bit of a tongue-twister, but he managed to get through it. Tim and Jason started applauding him.
"We have no idea what you're saying, but you're doing an awesome job at talking," Jason said. Tim nodded.
"If nothing else, we can respect you for that," he said. Dick raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
"Really? Me making no sense is somehow more amazing than me memorizing a whole story word-for-word?" he asked. Tim sighed.
"My poor hundred dollars, I'll miss you," he said. Jason snickered.
At which hour Jon did wake up, he did hath't nay idea whither he wast. His surroundings outside of the stove wast unfamiliar to him. His stomach did sink at the realization yond he wasn't nay longer at home.
Suddenly, the bawbling space he wast in wast flooded with light. He did cover his eyes. At which hour he finally did feel brave enow, he peeked out between his fingers and did doth cometh visage-to-visage with a sir with black hair and lush robes.
(This one is a little easier, I guess. When Jon woke up, he had no idea where he was. His surroundings outside of the stove were unfamiliar to him. His stomach sank at the realization that he was no longer at home.
Suddenly, the small space he was in was flooded with light. He covered his eyes. When he finally felt brave enough, he peeked out between his fingers and came face-to-face with a man with black hair and lush robes.)
"I swear, if you do this…" Jason growled. Mari frowned.
"Do what?" she asked.
"He's already done it, like, three times," Barbara said. "He wouldn't do it again."
"You wanna bet?" Dick challenged. Jason face-palmed and Barbara went pale.
"Jason, I am so sorry," she said.
"Uh, ho thither," did doth sayeth King Jason.
"I curse you using the thousand souls of the damned living in Hades's realm," Jason said. Dick flashed him a large smile.
"I have no idea what you just said," he said. Jake tentatively raised his hand.
"Uh, dad? None of us understand a word of the story," he said. Dick smirked at him.
"That's what makes it fun," he said.
"But it isn't fun," Wally said. Dick scoffed.
"I never said it would be fun for YOU guys," he said. Roy growled a little in his throat but let the matter drop. It was Dick, after all.
A palace liegeman did runneth in apace and did grab Jon by the scruff of his shirt with the intent of kicking him out, but King Jason wast coequal quicker to cease him.
"What's a 'liegeman'?" Mari asked.
"A servant," Jake told her.
"Oh, ok," she said.
"Brother, what the heck?! Do set him down for marry sake!"
The Liegeman wast very did confuse.
"Confuse is right," Cass muttered. Steph giggled.
"But sire, he's a trespasser," he did doth sayeth. King Jason did cross his arms and glared at the liegeman.
"Thou art already on probation for locking Lady Kara in the dungeon," he did doth sayeth. "Doth not receiveth on mine lacking valor side."
"I apologize, thy majesty," did doth sayeth the liegeman.
King Jason did nod, and the liegeman set Jon back down on the floor. Jason did nod to the peat.
"Pete?" Barbara asked.
"I think he means 'child'," Tim said. Jason scoffed.
"Figures that you would be able to translate this," he said. Tim's face turned a lovely shade of red, making everyone laugh.
"I can barely understand what he's saying, and he keeps throwing me off!" he exclaimed. Dick cleared his throat and took a deep breath to continue.
"So, doth thou mind explaining wherefore thither's a peat in mine stove?" he did doth ask. Jon gulped.
"Uh, I did fall asleep in thither," he did doth sayeth. Jason smirked.
"Been thither, done yond. I can relate," he did doth sayeth. Jon did breathe a sigh of relief, not bothering to wonder wherefore the king would falleth asleep in a stove.
"So, what anon?" he did doth ask. King Jason shrugged.
"Thee wanna stayeth hither and taketh care of the stove? Thou shalt send lots of wage to thy family," he did tener. Jon did smile and accept the proposal because wherefore not?
At a point in the future, all of Jon's kids at each moment did doth ask him to telleth the story of how he ended up in the castle, caring for a stove, because nay one would ever did let him liveth yond down.
"The End," Dick declared. "And I'm NEVER doing that again."
"And we hope you never do," Roy said. Wally glanced down at a watch on his wrist.
"Well, I suppose we've graced you with our presence long enough," he said.
"Ate our food, sat for a couple of stories, and revealed how bad of a storyteller you truly are," Jason counted on his fingers. "All before the day's end. Bravo."
"Does that mean you guys are leaving?" Mari asked. Wally nodded.
"Yep. Sorry mini-Grayson," he said, ruffling her hair. She groaned and pushed his hand away, but there was a small smile on her face.
"See you later, Jakey-Chan," Roy said, and he ran out the door. Jake blinked in confusion.
"Jakey-Chan?" he questioned. He dismissed the nickname, deciding not to spare a second thought.
"So, my tongue hates me, now," Dick said. "The next story is Little Red Riding Hood."
Dick: ok, so, I wanted to save the translation for the end of the story for down here, so here you go:
A palace servant ran in quickly and grabbed Jon by the scruff of his shirt with the intent of kicking him out, but King Jason was even quicker to stop him.
"Bro, what the heck?! Set him down for goodness sake!"
The servant was very confused.
"But, sire, he's a trespasser," he said. King Jason crossed his arms and glared at the servant.
"You're already on probation for locking Kara in the dungeon," he said. "Do NOT get on my bad side."
"I apologize your majesty," said the servant. King Jason nodded, and the servant Jon back down on the floor. Jason nodded to the kid.
"So, mind explaining why there's a kid in my stove?" he asked. Jon gulped.
"Uh... I fell asleep in there," he said. Jason smirked.
"Been there, done that. I can relate," he said. Jon breathed a sigh of relief, not bothering to wonder why the king would fall asleep in a stove.
"So... what now?" he asked. King Jason shrugged.
"You wanna stay here and take care of the stove? I'll send lots of money to your family," he offered. Jon smiled and accepted the deal because why not?
So, at some point in the future, all Jon's kids always asked him to tell the story of how he ended up in the castle, taking care of a stove, because no one would ever let him live that down.