Emerald Bywaters

District 4

The most relaxing day in the capitol turned out to be the most unsettling one too.

The train rides were stressful of course. You had just been reaped for a death game and you had to come to terms with the fact that you would have to kill to come back to your father again. I eventually did, believing that my family is more valuable than my innocence, but it still feels wrong to have the only ones I can trust being trained to be child murderers. Well, I still have Alexi, an actual enjoyable person to be around. The same can't be said for Blush and Remus.

Our mentors called it a "Free Day". Apparently, the pre-games were structured so that the interview prep and interviews were conducted on the official "Fourth Day" of the pre-games. The only problem was that the interviews took place in the evening which meant the tributes had nothing to do for the majority of the day. Usually, they just spend the day stressing in their quarters, but recently the capitol opened a small part of the newly opened mall for the tributes. A few tributes that were deemed "unfit" for public appearances, like Paul and Casey, were barred from the mall, but otherwise, everyone is free to do whatever they want.

And I must say, it was quite enjoyable cringing at the bizarre cloth taste of the capitol and playing games at the nearby arcade. And I give Alexi full credit for that. Like literally always, he took the lead and initiative to drag the otherwise hesitant career group to the nearest arcade. Whoever can make Remus laugh, even if it is only a light chuckle, has my full respect. Despite all of this, I can't help like this is like the last supper. Everything feels so surreal when you might die tomorrow. Or well, you might always die no matter if there are hunger games or not. But the hunger games put a filter on everything, distorting the image of my mortality. It makes me feel more vulnerable than I have ever felt before.

"C'mon let us check that place out. It looks fun!" Alexi lightly punches me on the arm and points towards a restaurant. I try to crack a genuine smile as possible, not wanting to ruin his good mood. Despite all the distress we have been experiencing these last days, Alexi has still been able to crack jokes and keep being positive. Anyone else I would either have marked as naive or deranged, but I have spent enough time with him to understand that there's more to him. When things actually matter, you can hear his voice waver and his eyes focusing. Maybe his humor is his coping mechanism. Maybe he tries to keep himself from falling into despair. Maybe he doesn't see a point with self-pitying and has decided to do something against it. Who am I to know. I'm not Alexi.

I shrug. "Sure. It's time for lunch anyway."

I look towards Olivia, who shakes her head. "I don't feel hungry yet. I'll join you guys later."

"Whatever you say," just as I finish my sentence, she turns around and quickly walks the other way. I roll my eyes, but I understand her. For someone from the outer districts, the careers just seem like mindless murdering machines. And both Blush and Remus aren't helping in that regard. I just wish she wasn't so obvious with her discomfort. When she joined I had hoped she would make the alliance more lively, but that wasn't the case.

I look behind my shoulder and nod towards the District 1 pair. "You coming with us too?"

Blush casts a glance towards the restaurant and shrugs. "Of course."

"We could use some food," Remus adds. I nod and turn around to follow Alexi. I don't know why they are following us. Alexi had to basically drag them with us so they wouldn't just stand outside the shops menacingly, with Remus reluctantly to do anything other than training and Blush's no-nonsense attitude. Remus just freaks me out. He has a snake in the grass in his backyard.

Before today I didn't think too much of Blush or anything special about her. She was just another tribute, another competitor, another career I should avoid. So far she hadn't given a reason for me to change that outlook, as she always kept to herself and only socialized when we made decisions. Anyway, today I got the chance to come closer to her, which wasn't intentional by the way. To my surprise, she was much more laid back than I expected and actually much easier to talk too. But as time went by I noticed flaws, from her cold remarks to the obvious over the top conversations. Once she realized I saw through her disguise she quickly stopped with the relaxed persona and went back to her serious attitude she always has. I felt relieved that I was able to escape and a little bit of pride surprisingly, but what I felt the most was fear. The dread that instantly passed through my body when I realized what happened. She had been able to lure me into a false sense of security so smoothly that it was like her second language. I'm not even sure it was intentional as she had three training days available to manipulate me if she truly wanted too. Today I have a newfound respect for Blush and truly realized exactly how dangerous. I'm convinced that she is my biggest threat in the games.

"You're stiff as a robot. You should try to relax." I hear Remus mutter behind me. I can already picture Blush rolling her eyes. Next, she will probably say something sassy back.

"That's bold coming from you," I hear her snap back, just as I predicted. After a while she becomes rather predictable, something she most likely doesn't realize herself. A weakness, something I can exploit.

I shake my head, not believing what I just thought. But anything to win, I guess. There are no rules in love and war.

"Exactly. If I'm the one to tell you that you're stiff, you should probably do something before anyone suspects you."

I can hear Blush scoff, before sighing. "It's probably too late for that. But you're right, for once. I don't feel like myself today."

Well, that's relieving to hear.

We approach the restaurant right after their conversation ends. From its content I'm assuming I wasn't supposed to hear that, but for what I all know it could have been intentional to get me off track. It wouldn't surprise me if that was the case, as I don't trust anything that comes out of their mouths. Or maybe it was their plan for me to realize that it was intentional for me to eavesdrop on them.

Now I'm just being paranoid. I won't get anywhere by constantly overthinking everything and I truly doubt they would put so much effort into such a little thing. There's nothing wrong with being careful, but starting to think up conspiracy theories will do more harm than good. For now, I just need to keep my eyes open and don't trust anything that Blush says.

We take a seat to one of the tables, as because we are tributes we don't need to pay or anything similar, and we sit there like idiots until Blush points out there's a buffé. I feel stupid for not noticing before, but as Alexi jump towards the food, there's no point in dwelling in it.

The first thing I notice is the absurd amount of different food. Back in District 4, which is considered a rich district mind you, a buffé is considered maybe four different dishes. Here I can count over 20 dishes, and we aren't counting the salads and desserts. I don't see why anyone would need that many options and I barely recognize most of them. Even things that include fish, like the rice dish "Sushi", is completely new to me. Well, it shows that despite being career districts, we're still districts. We still rebelled. And I think nothing will ever change that.

I take whatever looks tasty, not even dare to try to taste everything despite how tempting it is.

I move over to our table and take my seat. For about 5 minutes there is only an awkward silence, even with Alexi's half-hearted attempts at starting up a conversation. They are met with silence, with me only giving a few concise answers as I don't feel like talking. Alexi eventually gives up until Blush suddenly pipes up: "We should discuss our bloodbath strategy."

"Really? Is this really a good time to discuss this?" I say before I can stop myself, as I'm not in the mood to talk about killing children when eating dumplings.

"Why not? A lot of good decisions have been made over a good salad." I can't seriously tell if she is joking or not. "We're all here now, so we should take the opportunity. Except for Olivia, but I doubt she would have anything of importance to add"

"Great idea!" Alexi exclaims, completely ignoring her jab at Olivia. "We should figure out our targets. I think-"

"Casey and Suri are our two biggest targets, no doubt about it. They both got 10's, and even if their scores were heightened to put a target on them they are still high priority targets. Especially Casey, considering she left the career pack and it's a good opportunity to show that we are still packing a punch even if we're weaker. Next, we need to take out Anthony, since he got an 8 and is allied with another decent tribute. Sadly Quintin seems to be able to back up his words, but we might be able to have Olivia target him since they seem to have a feud. I don't know either how Kris got a 7, but it's definitely something we should be careful about. Don't underestimate her despite her age, whatever you do," Blush cuts him off without missing a beat.

I want to argue back, just so that she won't get the last word, but I can't see any faults in her proposition. And I don't want to be unreasonable. "Sounds good. Should we each have a personal target or?"

Blush shakes her head. "It might be problematic considering we don't know where we launch. Our targets might be on the other side of the cornucopia, and then we will just be wasting our time."

"But it can still be useful, even if we don't have to beeline for them instantly," Alexi exclaims. "If we each have a tentative target, we might be able to avoid two careers going for the same tribute, and we can put more pressure onto them. Let's say, I'll go for Suri, Remus can go for Casey, Blush for Kris and Emerald for Anthony."

Blush looks like she bites back a protest, but before she can say anything I turn to Remus: "What's your opinion on this?"

Remus looks up from his noodle-soup or whatever the name is, slightly surprised that someone even asked him. "I agree with Alexi. Tentative targets definitely would help organize things."

I look back at Blush, who to my surprise looks calm. "What about you?"

"Seems like you had a point. Let's go with your plan Alexi, but I am curious about your choices of who targets who."

Alexi shrugs. "It's simply who seems most logical. Remus and Casey both use bows so they will most likely fight anyway. I'm ranged and Suri uses close combat, so I will be able to dispose of her without being in too much danger. Anthony's big frame is an easy target for Emerald's trident. And Blush..." Alexi bites his lip. "You just seem like the one who would hesitate the least when it comes to killing twelve-year-olds. No offense."

"None took," Blush replies. "Seems logical enough. What more then?"

"What about Olivia's target?" I pipe up.

"Quintin," Blush and Alexi say at the same time. In hindsight, that was a stupid question. Olivia would go after Quintin even if we said something else. And I do hope she succeeds. Quintin is one of the few people here that I won't be sad over once they die.

"We should also discuss our positions in the bloodbath to maximize our potential. I was thinking that I and Remus could be on the outskirts of the bloodbath since we have long-ranged weapons. Blush and Emerald could hold the cornucopia-"

"I'm not staying in the cornucopia," Blush cuts him off. "I specialize in knives. Stealth. Takedowns. Not exactly fitting when going up against powerhouses like Anthony and Quintin."

Alexi grimaces. "Well, I'm not sure Emerald could hold the cornucopia by herself. I don't think that is a good idea Blush-"

"I would rather stay back at the cornucopia if it works," Remus suddenly says.

"Remus, you aren't helping," I say before turning back to Alexi. "I agree with you. Your plan makes the most sense."

Blush rolls her eyes. "I know my strengths, and open battle is not one of them. Let me and you take the outskirts, while Remus and Emerald stay in the center."

"None of us are specialized in open combat," Alexi exclaims. "Well, except maybe Emerald. But Remus uses a crossbow, which is going to be even worse against a close combat opponent."

"Remus can use his crossbow to easily pick off targets from the center position and Emerald can protect him," Blush reasons. "Let's have a vote then, in normal career fashion. For either your or my strategy."

Quite a stupid proposition, in my opinion, as we all know how it will end up anyway. Two votes for Blush, her and Remus, and two votes for Alexi, which was him and me.

I can see visible annoyance starting to creep onto Alexi. "We're going with my strategy since we can't seem to come to an agreement."

"That's not how it works."

"We chose Alexi as a leader for just this reason," I hiss at Blush. "One that you nominated yourself if you have forgotten. We have spent the last 15 minutes arguing because you're too stubborn to compromise, so for once, just shut up and listen to Alexi."

Anger flames up in Blush's eyes, an abnormality in her otherwise calm and collected aura. I instantly realized I said something wrong, something that triggered something in her. I can feel her gaze pierce through my soul, but I'm tired of sitting down. I meet her glare and we lock gazes for at least five more minutes. An awkward silence surrounds us, as neither of us is backing down.

"Did I choose bad timing?" A voice suddenly says from behind me, and I break eye contact to look over my shoulder. Olivia is standing with her plate of food, unemotional like she usually has but her eyes flickering with worry.

I force a smile. "No worry, it's fine. I was just about to refill my plate anyway. Why won't you join me, Alexi?"

"Oh I'm full-" He stops himself mid-sentence as he notices my glare. "Actually, I remember that I saw a few desserts back there."

He chuckles nervously, and I sweep my plate off the table. Olivia takes the seat beside mine. I walk briskly towards the other end of the restaurant and Alexi jogs up to me.

"Do you want to talk or anything?" he says in a hushed tone, even if we are far enough that they wouldn't hear us anyway.

"I don't trust them," I say.

Alexi scoffs. "Of course we don't. That isn't anything new. Is there something actually important you want to tell me."

"You don't understand," I retort in a slightly annoyed tone. "I don't trust them with keeping this alliance together. It was already in red light once the reaping recap was revealed. No one wants to be here, in case you haven't noticed. I'll promise you, Blush will betray us as soon as she can."

"You're getting a bit too paranoid now," Alexi says. "Blush is annoying and kinda scary to be completely honest, but I'll doubt she would make such a stupid move to split an already weak alliance-"

"You heard her yourself," I say. "Her specialty is stealth. If anything, she only benefits if the strongest are isolated and alone. She probably only joined this alliance so she can get through the bloodbath and to make sure is fractured when she inevitably leaves."

"So what do you suggest? Kill her in the bloodbath?"

I shake my head "No, it's too risky. We'll wait until after, maybe a few days, and take her out then."

Alexi slowly nods. "Okay, that sounds like a plan."

I sigh out and simply leave my plate at a nearby table, not feeling like taking another portion. Me wanting to get more food was simply an excuse to get away from the others; now I might be able to be alone together with Alexi for the rest of the afternoon without having the threat of Remus and Blush constantly looming. I truly doubt they will care much; I got the impression that they would just want to be left on their own. What I'm more worried about is them suspecting that we are scheming against them. Well, they would be right, but it would complicate everything. But from what I have learned from the days I have spent with them, is that they always, always, are a step ahead of me.

I look up at Alexi as we walk forward with no real purpose. He's a good friend, something I can admit even if we are going into the hunger games. But, he's still competition, another tribute, another one who has to die for me to win. I haven't allowed myself to get attached to him and I'm not planning too anytime soon. Once I have to kill Alexi, I will, if I want to get back to my father. To not meet my brother and my sister anytime soon.

But will I be able to kill a 14-year-old? A 13-year-old? Or even a 12-year-old? I'm not sure yet. It's such a different thing from killing an 18-year-old. At least it feels like so. But well, I'll take care of that problem when it comes to it

"I have been thinking just how bizarre it is that we were both reaped," Alexi suddenly says, probably bored of the silence. "Like, it would be weird if one of us was reaped, but both of us? At the same time? When Two was also reaped? Bonkers."

"Yeah, especially when we had two competent volunteers ready."

"It's almost like we were rigged."

We both chuckle nervously at that, as we both know it's ridiculous. Why would anyone want us, two faces in the crowd, to go into the game? It wouldn't make any sense why anyone would waste resources, and for what reason?

"Wait, is that you. Emerald and Alexi?" I suddenly hear a voice behind me. "Oh my gosh, I never thought I would see you so close up I am such a big fan it's such a shame this had to happen-"

I turn around, seeing a capitolite sitting next to a café table gushing to us. I and Alexi exchange a worried look as I sigh. Capitolites aren't supposed to interact with tributes to not overwhelm them, but it's clear that this lady doesn't care about the rules.

"Sorry mam, but we would like to have some time alone," Alexi begins, as my thoughts start to drift elsewhere. "In our free-days we have rules- Wait what did you say about Emerald's brother?"

I snap back into reality, as my heart starts pumping. Such a wonder that two words can produce so much adrenaline. I instantly turn around and stare right into the woman's eyes. "How do you know about my brother?"

"Oh everyone knows!" The woman chuckles. "It's pretty standard gossip. Everyone knows that Rayan still is haunted by killing your brother. Guess you two got in the crossfire by someone wanting to get to him, which is sad to see, but that jackass needs to be knocked down a peg anyway."

Alexi looks at me with a hopeless expression, but he notices that I have already collapsed on a bench. A million different emotions are going through me at the same time.

I want to scream, cry, and tear myself into pieces. I'm just a girl who wants to live her life. Just a kid. I shouldn't deal with these kinds of things.

Just please make it stop.

Kris Sparrow

District 12

"Wait wait, have you heard this one?"

"No."

"Oh my god, you're missing it out. Here, you have to hear this."

I sigh, but don't protest and put on the headphones. I take the seat next to the music player as Dania puts in the disc. I stare into the distance as the music starts beating in my headphones. Dania looks at me and pouts her lip, probably because of how unenthusiastic I look. While I don't mind faking enthusiasm just to satisfy someone else, I got tired of it about an hour ago. Dania might be head over heels over every district musician she can find, but it's hard to be excited for anything considering the circumstances. If anything, the free day is stupid as hell. Why prolong the suffering by doing useless stuff like this?

I almost feel claustrophobic in the small shop, shoehorned in between two large stores. The entire "shop" is just lined with music, merch, headphones, and just so much music. The metallic smell mixed what seems to be a fragrance of cherry, the capitol, and its need to always be so extra doesn't help either. Spread around the shop there are music players, where you can try out listening to music. Of course, you can only listen to the first few songs to get you hooked, but it still seems to have enough content for Dania to geek over in fucking hours.

In my opinion, we should have been in the games now. The interviews should have taken place yesterday, so we can skip all this bullshit. But well, I can be grateful that they have given me more time to work on my games strategy. It's the only thing I can seem to think of over the last days.

I'm not sure how we are going about the bloodbath. It's the only thing that is nagging me constantly in the backhead; it never seems to go away. All my solutions seem to end with either me or Dania dying, or both, so I'm always back at square one. But I have to make a decision soon. Being indecisive won't help at all.

"Did you like it?" Dania asks as soon as the song ends.

"It was fine. The guitar was nice," I say, grasping for anything I remember about the song. "The drums were a bit quiet though. I wish they were louder."

Dania going into the bloodbath alone is a no go. Too many strong tributes, too much of a mess for her to be able to get in and out safely. So there's the question if we are just going to run away as soon as the gong rings. It's the safest option and Enna, my mentor, had already told me multiple times that I should turn tails as fast as possible. But it's just so tempting. Who knows, maybe the arena is literally hell and you're fucked if you don't get supplies.

I thought a bit before if we both went into the bloodbath, so we could protect each other as we got supplies. There were too many reasons why this wouldn't work however, I eventually realized. The first problem was that if we ended up completely opposite of each other, which would make our plan impossible. The second problem was that neither of us would be strong to actually do the defending part. We would also be a prime target for any career wanting a quick and easy kill since we would be grouped together.

Eventually, it might just come down in me running in alone. I'm fast and agile. I didn't get a 7 because I was cute. I could sneak into the cornucopia and then run away without anyone noticing. Even if someone did attack me, I can stab a bitch if I need to. Well, I doubt I could do any real damage against someone who actually can handle a weapon, but it would serve as a nice distraction. I'm competent. I could do it. I might just do it.

"You won't believe what I just found!" Dania pipes up from behind a counter.

"Run away from the bloodbath."

"What? That's not what I found!" Dania exclaims, with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"I'm talking about the bloodbath."

Dania rolls her eyes. "Of course I know what you are talking about, but it's quite irritating when you keep interrupting me. And did you really think I would go into the bloodbath? Like, seriously? Wait, will you go into the bloodbath?"

"Probably."

Dania's eyes go wide. "Why? That's basically suicide! Don't be an idiot."

"I can do it. I have weighed the possibilities and decided that it's the best case of action."

Dania rolls her eyes again. "Do what you want then. Anyway, guess what I just found! A disc from Ruben Whicker! Ruben!"

I raise an eyebrow. "Who's that and why is he important?"

"He's my father," Dania hisses at me. "You know, the man I have told you a hundred and one times already."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I say, feeling quite bad now. "Forgive me, I'm just tired and stressed because of the games. I'll listen to it if you want."

"Okay, sure." Dania's voice immediately softens up. "Just try to be interested in this one. Please?"

"I'll try," I say. Dania puts in the disc as a soft guitar tune starts playing. I genuinely try to pay attention to the song, since Dania is clearly invested in it. Instead of smiling like she usually does when we listen to the songs, her smile has been reduced to a line and she seems to stare into the void. While the music isn't my type, I have discovered during the last two hours that I like faster stuff, it's still soothing and I mentally take note of things to compliment her later on.

When the song ends I turn towards her and smile. "That was great! I especially liked-"

"Thanks," she interrupts and I stop. I take the hint and don't comment on anything else. There are a few minutes of awkward silence; Dania has a somber look on her face, which I don't blame her for. Despite my parents being dead for years, for so long that I barely remember them, I still have people that I miss. All but a few select of the tributes here probably feel the same pain as she does.

"We should probably go now," I eventually say, feeling a bit wigged out of the whole situation.

Dania nods weakly. As I stand up, I notice her hiding a tear running down her cheek; it's enough for everything to hit me in the gut. I have never actually thought much about my home life during my time here, mostly because I have spent most of my time strategizing, but the realization hits me like a truck. Leo. I might never see him again. It's a scary thing. The knowledge that I will die. Not like an execution, where you have time to cope with it. No, because in the games you have a chance to survive, a glimmer of hope. That glimmer of hope stops the body from letting go, making the anxiety even worse.

We both step out of the music shop in silence, the thick air suddenly clearing up. Most of the time, either me or (most of the time) Dania had something to say, but now we were both quiet. The song ruined the mood, but I can't blame her for putting it on. It's not the first time we have been left in awkward silence and it's usually our cue to split up since we're both solo players. But we make it work and Dania is social enough for us both.

We walk a bit down the mall, without a goal in mind. I notice that people are constantly stealing glances and start chattering as soon as we pass, excited that they have gotten a close-up view of one of the tributes. Of course, it's forbidden for bystanders to actually interact with the tributes, which I am grateful for. For once, the capitol actually did something in favor of their sacrificial sheep.

"We should go there," Dania suddenly says, but the slight quiver in her voice reveals that she is forcing her excitement. I look up at what Dania is pointing at, and I resist the temptation to roll my eyes when I notice the guitar shop. I'm not in the mood to spend another hour watching Dania geek over music.

"You do that if you want, I'm going to do something else."

Disappointment briefly flickers in Dania's eyes, but she quickly nonchalantly shrugs. "I get that. See you soon!"

Dania jumps away towards the guitar shop as I sigh. I'm happy that she didn't argue against me, but I don't really have an idea to do know. Dania has dragged me around the entire day if I wanted it or not, and even if I found it annoying it at least kept me from being bored.

But I do think there's one person that is here with us other tributes that I want to talk to.

As I walk through the halls in search for my district partner I notice other tributes taking advantage of the opulence of the capitol. The boys from 2 and 8 walk out of a candy store, both happily chatting with each other. I hear shouts from a shop where the District 7 boy is loudly arguing with the shopkeeper, to no one's surprise. The trio that formed during the parade is sitting around a cafe and talking over each other. Everyone is enjoying their free day as much as possible, as it might be the last time they can.

After about fifteen minutes of searching, I finally find what I am looking for. Forren is sitting next to a table, currently through his way on his seemingly fifth ice cream, just taking from all the paper on the table. The cashier is constantly giving Forren worrying looks, but I don't blame her. It would only be Forren to be able to make eating ice cream look miserable.

"Hey."

Forren instantly jumps at my voice and his eyes darts to me in horror. He relaxes when he sees me, but I still flinched at his reaction.

"Oh. It's you," he mutters and takes another bite of his ice cream. "Hi, anyway."

"What are you doing here?"

"Eating," he replies, shutting down my attempt at a conversation. An awkward minute of silence follows as I search for anything I could say that wouldn't end up in him breaking down in tears or going fight or flight mode.

"What else have you done today then?"

Forren shrugs. "Not much really. Walked around a bit, ate ice cream, tried going into the arcade but there were too many people and ate some more ice cream," he says, before looking up at me. "What about you?"

It takes me a few seconds to react, still surprised that he took the initiative. "Oh, I mostly followed Dania to where she went. You know, most music stores and such."

"Oh. Sounds fun."

"Only if you're interested in hearing about the same artist for 30 minutes straight."

"Yeah, that's my point."

I'm taken off guard by Forren's response, but he doesn't seem particularly bothered by it. Suddenly, he leans to the left of me, his eyes quickly darting behind me.

"By the way, where is Dania?" he asks.

"Probably somewhere trying out a new guitar. I should probably return to her by now. You want to come with us?"

"Maybe not-" he doesn't get much farther as I have already grabbed his arm and dragged him out of his seat. He doesn't protest, which is a good sign, but his expression looks rather perplexed. But I get what I want because I know what we need, and I know that this is for the best for us.

We start walking back, Forren walking a few meters behind me with his head up. I wonder if I should tell him to come beside me since him walking behind me is making me uncomfortable, but I decide not to say anything. He doesn't need any more pressure, so I'll swallow my ego and continue as we do. Eventually, I get tired of the silence and turn around to face him:

"Do you have any allies then?"

Forren looks up from the ground, looking quite surprised. "No? Why would you think that?"

I shrug. "Allies are useful. They can help you survive. Have you tried asking anyone?"

Forren shakes his head. "I don't need allies. They'll only get in my way, and I won't survive anyway, so it's useless. No one would take me anyway. I'm happy where I ended up."

Everyone knows you don't. Forren's words always feel like they come from his heart, but it's like they always physically hurt him whenever he says them. I don't know what has happened to him, why his eyes look like they have never seen the sun. I thought I had it bad, but I know that Forren had more pain than I ever could imagine.

The question was stupid anyway. Of course, he doesn't have any allies; he's Forren for god sake. He deserves to have someone who cares for him, and I hope for dear god that someone asked him to ally. If they didn't, I'll make sure someone does now.

"Hey, are you sure you don't want to ally with me and Dania? We have space for one more."

Forren's mouth is slightly agape for a few seconds, seeming quite surprised. "Are you sure Dania won't protest?"

"If I say you ally with us, you're allying with us and she can't do anything about it."

"Oh," Forren says, taken slightly aback. "Thanks, but no thanks. I work better alone, and I would just slow you down."

"You wouldn't," I instantly interrupt him. "Hear me that? No matter what you do, you will never slow me down."

"I still don't want to."

I stop at that, as Forren looks he's about to cry. Fuck. What did I do wrong now? I'm good at stealing stuff and stabbing people, not handling emotions. I usually just say what my heart says, which works for me. Or well, that's maybe why I'm so bad at it. I should just shut up really since I just seem to fuck up things. But that's not just how I work. If I see something wrong, I can't just stand there. No problem will be left unsolved.

"Sorry," I turn around, the word still feeling strange on my tongue.

"Wait, no no," Forren suddenly says. "You didn't do anything wrong, it's just-" I hear him mutter something under his breath. "I just don't want to feel any hope okay? It will only make my decision hurt more."

"Okay," I say, my body going numb after what he said. He doesn't want to feel any hope? I don't understand that. I don't understand why he ever would say that. It hurts, not going to lie. But I don't understand.

"Oh, what are your pronouns today by the way?" he asks. "I haven't gotten the chance yet, sorry."

"She and her. Thanks," I quickly add. Despite everything he has suffered, he is still a respectful and kind person. That is something I will eternally respect in him. He is the one who deserves this fate the least out of any of us.

Eventually, we reach the guitar shop, which we enter. The walls are painted in a soft white and are almost glittering. Glazed tiles are covering the floor, which together with the walls created the feeling of being surrounded by vanilla. All over the walls, there were acoustic guitars put up, the wooden instruments contrasting to the white walls. The entire shop had a smell of wood, which was a nice change from the sweat of the music shop. In the other half of the shop, if you went deeper, it changed to electrical guitars, but I knew Dania wasn't in that part.

I find Dania sitting a bit into the shop noodling on a guitar, to no one's surprise, when she notices me. I force a smile and wave towards her.

"Hey Kris!" she exclaims and drops her guitar to run up to me. "I was just about to show you this melody I have discovered today- Oh."

Her smile drops when she notices Forren beside me, but she quickly throws it up again before anyone can notice it.

"I'm guessing this is your district partner?" she waves towards Forren; he looks so much smaller now that we have Dania to compare with.

"Yeah," I say, crossing my arms and tapping my foot against the ground. "You two haven't met right?"

"I don't think so," Dania chuckles. Forren stays silent.

"Anyway, Dania, this is Forren," I nudge towards my district partner. "Forren, this is Dania."

Dania smiles and reaches out with her hand. "Pleasure to meet you! Dania, musician, passionate tree climber, and generally a lover of life."

Forren stares at her hand, like he's not sure what to do, before turning his head to me. I nod towards Dania's hand and shoot him a gentle glare. It's enough for him to catch the drift and he lightly took her hand.

"Forren," he says curtly. He flinches when Dania shakes his hand, which causes her to look at me with a perplexed look in her eyes.

Forren's eyes drift into the horizon again, seemingly lost in his own world, as Dania quickly pulls me over.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? Nothing against the kid, he's just... peculiar you know?" she whispers into my ear.

"I think this is the best idea I have had in a while," I hiss back. "He's coming with us."

"Yeah yeah, if you say so." Dania holds up her hands in surrender. "I just don't want you to feel like you need to be his savior. It's not the baggage anyone needs."

I roll my eyes but decide not to comment on that. I skip over to Forren and lightly touch him on the shoulder, which causes him to flinch.

"C'mon, let's have some fun!"

"What?"

"And now you want to have fun!" Dania exclaims behind me, albeit in a more casual tone.

"Circumstances have changed," I say and wink at her.

And then, we have what I truly would call Fun. For once, I let myself let loose, for Forren's sake. We spend the rest of the free day going into every shop that even looks remotely fun. At first, we visited a book shop, but we quickly left when we realized that Forren is illiterate. We of course went to the arcade, which was the highlight on the day in my opinion. It even made Forren make an expression that slightly resembles a smile. Other highlights include a sports shop, a woodwork shop, and a shop that was just filled to the brim with televisions showing movies all at the same time. It was an experience to walk through that shop.

But despite all this, Forren seems just as hopeless as ever. Despite how much we socialize over something, how many jokes I tell that make his lips twitch, his eyes seem just as empty as always.

I thought I could change that. I didn't understand why despite how hard I tried I just seemed to fall flat. My usual response to failure is just trying again, as giving up doesn't exist in my vocabulary. But, this might be the one time I will have to swallow my pride.

"You're right," I say to Dania as we leave the tv shop, Forren still a few meters behind us as always. Dania raises an eyebrow at me.

I look up at the roof and close my eyes. "I'm not his savior. I thought I could make him appreciate life again, to have hope again, but I guess that just was my delusions of grandeur."

Dania gently pats me on the back. "Trauma doesn't disappear overnight. Neither does depression. If you had time, maybe you could repair him. But I'm sorry, there is literally nothing you can do with what you have. Don't feel guilty about it. It's the best for everyone, for both of him and you. Only one survives after all."

"I guess you're right," I say, quite surprised by Dania's pessimistic approach, something I didn't expect from a person like her.

"Okay, just wait here, I just need to go to the bathroom for a second," she giggles, before skipping over to a hallway next to us.

Then I'm left alone with Forren, an awkward silence laying between us, my doubts still laying on my dark clouded mind.

"So-"

"Am I a bad person?" I blurt out without thinking.

Forren seems shocked. "What? No, you are a great person! Why would you think that?"

"The only reason I allied with Dania was so she could be a meat shield." No turning back now. "She literally doesn't bring anything to the table that I don't already cover, other than that people will go after her before me."

"Oh," Forren mutters. "Well, do you still feel guilty?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then you aren't doing anything wrong," Forren cuts me off. "You aren't enjoying hurting other people, that is proof enough that you're a good person. You're just playing smart. Only one survives, after all."

"Okay but-"

"On top of that, I'm not stupid. I know that you have to do all these things today for me, to try to make me happy. And I can respect that. You're the one person I like the most in life, even if it doesn't say much."

At this point, I just don't know. I want to scream, cry, and tear myself into pieces. I'm just a twelve year old. Just a kid. I shouldn't deal with these kinds of things.

Just please make it stop.

Okay, I'm back with another chapter! A free day wasn't originally in my plan, Emerald was supposed to be in the Third Night and Kris in the Last Night, but I'm glad that I decided to do it since tbh it was really fun to write. We're two chapters away from the bloodbath! Can you believe that? We're truly on the home stretch now.

See you next time with the Interviews, which should be out next week since I'm currently zooming through them.