.
.
"Wash! Wash!"
Madara's baby son toddles over to him, holding up his hands which are covered in mud.
Madara sniffs. "And what do you expect me to do about it?"
"Daddy! Wash! Wash!"
"You know where the sink is," Madara says, and the baby stands in the middle of the kitchen for one long confused moment, before he toddles over to the table and pushes a chair.
Madara watches. The toddler pushes the chair to the sink, then slowly climbs on it. Reaching forward, the baby stands on his tip-toes and tries reaching the faucet.
Madara sighs, then walks over to flip on the water. The child is not tall enough and nothing but time can rectify it.
The baby gets soap. He slaps his hands under the water. Then he climbs down the chair again, water still running, and says proudly, "Daddy! I wash hands!"
"Excellent," Madara says. "Perhaps you will not be so useless."
The baby grabs a hand towel and runs out from the kitchen.
"Owie...Owie...Daddy...!"
"Did you fall?" Madara looks up to see the baby crying on his butt. "That is what happens when you run."
"Ice! Daddy, ice!"
"You know where the ice is," Madara says, and the baby sniffs and toddles toward the freezer, where Madara has already stuck in a few wet washcloths he let freeze for makeshift ice packs. The baby pulls it out then puts it on his head.
"Why are you putting that there? You did not hit your head."
"Daddy, ice."
"Yes I know, ice. Put it here," Madara says, and he holds it by the baby's butt. The baby takes it from him.
There is a kunai sitting at the table that Madara had forgotten to put away; the baby reaches up to play with it.
Madara watches. The baby stares intently at the pointed end, then proceeds to cut himself with it.
"OWIE OWIE DADDY!" The baby starts crying. His little face turns red as he cries big fat tears.
"Hm." Madara frowns at him. "That is what happens when you touch sharp objects."
He takes the kunai from him.