Another update, you lot are probably fed up with me. Thank you for the reviews I love hearing your guy's opinions x
After a long discussion, Carla and Peter agree that seeing Rob is not a good idea. Carla was happy with this decision knowing she would have to explain everything to him which would just annoy her further along with the questions as to why he wanted to see her, she didn't have the energy and to be honest, Peter thought it was a bad idea as well. Talking about the future, the future without Aidan, a date for his funeral was set and it was next week, Carla didn't know how Hayley was going to cope as well as Emma so she had Gail on hand to come with her in case Emma needed to be taken out. Many agreements were made as well ranging from Michelle taking an active part in underworld working alongside Carla wanting to fulfil her cousin's request, they were both very happy with this decision.
"So what orders do we have that need to go out?" Michelle questions glancing through the order book as Carla smiles ready to teach her
"So in red are all the orders which will need to be sent out within the next week" she explains as Michelle nods
"Why do they have two due dates?"
"Well Aidan suggested we try and get the order complete by the earlier date so we have some wiggle room if things went wrong," Carla says as Michelle nods "You'll pick it up again not much has changed"
"Ok if you say so" Michelle grins as Sarah enters the room
"I have every faith in you 'Chelle" Carla chuckles as Sarah smiles "What can we do you for Sarah?"
"Well, the girls were wondering about the management of this place and Michelle's role" she explains as Carla nods, "I think they just want some explanation"
"Right" Carla nods standing up and storming out of the office to greet her machinists with an icy glare "So I understand there is some confusion over who owns what?"
"You hardly blame us, you never tell us anything" Beth complains as Carla leans on the bannister of the stairs "We just want a simple answer"
"Ok well as you know Aidan left his shares to my daughters on the promise that Michelle managed them until they turned eighteen, now please get back to work we need to get this order out on time!" she sasses storming back into the office "I don't know why I bother!"
"Soon you're going to give them printed copies of the will" Michelle sniggers as Carla rolls her eyes typing away on her keyboard, "I think I'm going to enjoy working here"
"I'm going to enjoy having you here as well" Carla grins tilting her head to one side as Michelle does the same "So, what's going on between you and Robert then?"
"Well, we have our first meeting with the surrogacy agency next week so I would need some time off?" Michelle asks hopefully as Carla hums
"Yeah? You can have as much time as you need" Carla smiles as Michelle beams happily "So what is it about then?"
"We've done a lot of research, so I think this is the first consultation so they'll ask why we've chosen surrogacy and our plans I guess I just worry in case they think we're rushing into it because we've only just married"
"I'm sure they won't," Carla says as Michelle sighs in response "Look, I can wait in the waiting room if you want or in the car if you want me there?"
"No, it has to be me and Robert, we need to do this together" Michelle states as Carla nods "So it's ok for me to take the day off?"
"Of course it is, you are the boss" Carla reminds her as Michelle grins "Take as much time as you need"
"Thank you so much, I guess we best get this done"
After work finished Carla darted off into town having remembered that she was meant to be taking the girls out with Peter to let off the balloons in memory of Aidan. She picked up around ten helium-filled balloons as well as glitter pens so that they could write their messages. Of course, she ended up being later so she had to meet Peter there with Emma and Hayley, she instantly found them feeding the ducks in the red rec.
"Sorry I'm late me and 'Chelle got talking and you know how it is…" Carla apologises as Emma toddles over to her looking at the bright arrangements of balloons she had in her hands "Shall we get started then, girls?"
"Ok mummy!" Hayley calls as Carla grabs her notepad out watching Hayley frown in response
"So what do you want to write to Uncle Aidan?" Carla questions as Hayley thinks long and hard
"That I miss him" Hayley smiles as Carla writes it down on a notepad and grabs a balloon as well as a piece of sellotape to attach it "Can I let it go?"
"Of course sweetheart" Carla smiles handing her the balloon as she runs off into the distance to let it go before running back "What shall we write then Em?"
"No!" Emma shouts as Peter raises an eyebrow, Carla as well
"Ok, we don't have to do it" Carla rolls her eyes as Hayley returns "Do you want to write another?"
"Yes please" Hayley beams as Carla smiles, poise to write "Can we say that we love him?"
"Of course honey" Peter smiles watching Carla write it down "That's a brilliant idea"
"Here you are, Hayles. I'll write the same for Emma then she can let it go as well" Carla suggests as she wrote the same message down again watching as Peter attaches them both to the separate balloons and handing one to Hayley who runs off again to let it free "Here Em" she says as Emma laughs at the bright colours
"Let it go, like Hayley" Carla prompts as Emma smiles more interested in playing with the balloon "Let it go" she prompts again as Emma finally lets it go, the balloon flying into the sky "Yay!"
"Good job Em!" Peter beams as Hayley runs back to him
"Mummy do one…and daddy!" Hayley beams as Carla smirks towards Peter who rolls his eyes knowing Hayley liked them to be involved in everything
"We'll do one together, baby" Carla suggests as Hayley nods watching Carla scrawl down a sentence on the piece of paper
"What does it say?" Hayley whines as Carla smiles at her daughter "I can't read mummy"
"I know. It says, I miss you very much Aidan and the world will never be the same without you, love your big sis, Carla"
"Aw," Hayley smiles watching as Carla lets the balloon into the air "He'll like it!"
"I hope so, baby," Carla says as Peter smiles at her knowing she was trying to compose herself, the tears filling her eyes rather quickly "I'm just going to pop to the car, I won't be long"
"Are you ok?" Peter questions as Carla shakes her head before storming off to the car leaving Peter to sigh in response "Let's head home girls" he says knowing Carla brought her car so she's probably just driven off somewhere "We can do some more in the garden at home"
Peter returned home to an empty house, he placed Emma down in her playpen and Hayley was watching kids TV in the lounge leaving Peter to call Carla wondering where she was, then he heard it, the sound of her phone so she was home, leaving him to go upstairs knowing she was probably taking some time out for herself in the bedroom. He opened the door gingerly and he saw her curled up on her side; a pillow hugged to her chest, it was also obvious to him that the grief got the better of her and that the front she wore to everyone was chipped away, therefore, she needed to be in the safety of her own home where she didn't have to suppress her feelings and where she wouldn't be judged.
"Hey beautiful girl" Peter whispers sitting on the edge of the bed brushing her hair away from her face "Hug?"
"I'm sorry" Carla cries as Peter sighs in response knowing she was struggling today more so than other days "It's just hard, he's not here any more"
"I know he's not" Peter reassures her as she smiles slightly at him, she didn't know why she felt like this, she thought she was over her grief but it was apparent that she wasn't "I explained to the girls that you needed to get back home and do something, they seemed to understand"
"It was just writing the message it really hit home," Carla says in disbelief "He's actually gone and there's nothing I can do to bring him back…it hurts, I barely even knew him as my brother and that's the thing that stings the most I think. All I saw him as was that annoying kid on the estate where we grew up who used to follow me and 'Chelle around and then he changed and when I saw him, lying on that bathroom floor, I saw that little boy Peter, that little boy who used to etch out hopscotch with the plain white chalk and play on his own, none of us questioned it and now something so innocent is gone, a good person is gone. For instance, when I was in the hospital with my kidneys, we played cards and we joked how I used to go around bullying him when I lost a game, I used to rip up his cards you see, mind you I was a nasty cold-hearted cow back then but I now know that he was thinking about doing that back then, the way he contemplated everything, the way he was all sympathetic and mushy. I knew Peter deep down and I didn't do anything, why didn't I see it!"
"Oh Carla, come here," he says bringing her in for a hug as they cuddle together on the bed "Why didn't you say anything?"
"I don't know, I felt stupid I guess, he was obviously struggling and I didn't deserve to feel sad because of that, he went through so much more pain, more so that he ended his life" she shrugs as Peter brushes her hair away from her face causing her to lean forward for a kiss, her tongue battling with his as she pushes him down so he was on his back
"No," Peter says as Carla frowns "It's not that I don't want to, I would love nothing more but it's not right when you feel like this, you're vulnerable"
"I just want to forget" she mumbles as Peter nods slowly completely in understanding "Please"
"No, baby" Peter whispers as she breaks into tears again "Let it all out of your system"
"I'm scared," Carla says as Peter frowns in confusion "Death"
"Oh, love," Peter says holding her close as she begins to cry "This is just all those feelings of grief coming to the front after you've tried so long to suppress them. Why don't you have a bath then I'll check on the girls?"
"Ok," Carla says sliding out of bed and heading into the bathroom "I love you"
"I love you more, go and have a bath then we can talk some more later"