"Why do I have to go first," Clarke pouted, taking the proffered wineskin.
"Because it is you that wishes for such a discussion," Lexa replied, snatching the wineskin from Clarke's hand, and taking a swallow before handing it back to Rook.
"Hey," Clarke indignantly cried, taking the wineskin before Rook could take a drink. "You're not leaving me out of the drinking. If I'm going to be talking about my feelings, I need liquid courage."
"Liquid courage," Lexa looked at Rook perplexed.
"Wine or souda (alcohol) acts similar to jobi tea," Rook explained, watching with bemusement as Clarke tried the wine. "It lowers our guard, and we speak of things we normally would not. Or gives us false bravery when we are nervous or frightened. Hence, calling it liquid courage."
"Ah," Lexa replied as she took the wineskin from Clarke.
"That tastes a whole lot better than Monty's moonshine," Clarke said, leaning against the wall once more.
Rook snorted, "I am not surprised, Prisa. Monty's moonshine is almost pure alcohol. I am surprised that it has yet to kill anyone."
Clarke rolled her eyes, "It still got us drunk. That's all that mattered."
"I can't really argue with that," Rook replied, taking a healthy swallow of the wine, thinking back to her days at the dropship.
Clarke felt Rook's mood shift and leaned into her, "Hey, none of that. The past is the past, Rook. And as you've reminded me, you're not the Rook that landed so many months ago."
Rook sighed and ran her hand lightly through her braids, "The past is what guides us, Clarke. Our experiences are what shaped us. Without the past, we have no future. What we are today is not who we were yesterday, or who we will be tomorrow."
"You're right," Clarke replied, gathering one of Rook's hand in her own. "But you were about to wallow. I could feel it. I'm sorry for the part I played. For using you like that. I knew you felt something for me, and I used that to get you to do what I wanted. That was wrong of me."
"I knew what you were doing, Clarke," Rook said, taking Clarke's hand and planting a kiss on the back of it. "I allowed it because as desperate as you were to reach the Ark, I was just as desperate for the attention. What we did wasn't healthy, but I don't hold it against you. But I have to ask. The other day you said that it hurt when you found out I was missing. Why? I mean, you barely paid any attention to me. Barely spoke to me. And you were far more interested in pursuing something with Finn. So, why did my disappearance hurt you?"
Clarke sighed, took another swallow from the wineskin, and looked down at her lap, "I felt like I failed you. The way I failed Charlotte. You were both so lost and alone. And looking for a way to connect with someone again. And even though I offered you that connection, I didn't follow through. I didn't do anything more than say that I'm here for you, and then I turned around and ignored you. After you disappeared, it was like a wake-up call. It made me realize how I was treating people. That I was using these minute connections to get what I wanted."
Clarke suddenly felt like a part of her shut down. She tried to figure out what it was when Rook let go of her hand and stood up to move to the other side of the room. Clarke looked confusedly at Rook's back and then got even more confused when Lexa got up and walked over to Rook.
Clarke watched as they had a hushed conversation, and then Lexa drew Rook in her arms. Then it dawned on her when Rook's body started shaking. Clarke was witnessing heartbreak, and she was the cause of it. Feeling something howl in despair within her, spurred her out of the cot and approached the two women.
Gently reaching out, Clarke laid a hand tentatively on Rook's back. Quietly, she said, "Rook, I'm sorry. I do care about you. I do. That was something else I realized. You weren't just a tool; you were a friend. Are a friend. Our wolves may have been mates, Rook, but the truth is that I barely know you and Lexa. I don't know how I feel about either of you outside a physical attraction. My emotions are so mixed with the wolf's. I don't know what's mine and what's hers. I need time to figure it out. Can you give that to me? Can you give me the time to know you and figure out if there's something more? Can you do that before shutting me out?"
"Niron," Lexa whispered into Rook's ear. "What she is asking is fair. We've had our time to figure out what we feel for each other. We should grant her the same. Clarke deserves that."
Rook sniffled, let out a huge sigh, and then nodded into Lexa's chest. Lexa pulled back slightly to look Rook in the eye and gently wiped the tears away, smiling encouragingly at the taller girl.
Rook looked at Clarke, "I'm sorry, Clarke. I wanted you to be truthful, and you were. I shouldn't have shut you out like that because it wasn't what I wanted to hear. I think the excitement of feeling whole and finding out that you were the reason, I forgot that this is new and scary for you. For both of you. The Bounstoka and I are so entwined now that we are literally a single being. And I forgot that it's not the same for you. That you aren't there yet. I'm sorry that I placed those expectations on you."
Clarke smiled, and it grew wider when she felt her connection with Rook again, "You're forgiven, Rook. Is it alright if I hug you? I feel like I need to feel you around me."
Rook and Lexa both opened their arms, and Clarke stepped into their embrace. She let out a sigh of contentment the moment she felt them around her. Safe and comforted in the scent of a rainy day.
"God, I can't believe how much I love this smell," Clarke mumbled.
"What smell is that," Lexa asked.
"Like a rainy day," the blonde replied. "I loved sitting just inside the dropship and watching the rain come down. The smell of the forest after a good rain. It reminds me that I'm alive."
"What you're smelling is our mingling scents, Prisa," Rook explained. "Mine and Lexa's."
Clarke leaned back and looked at Rook, "Wait. We have scents?"
"Everyone does," Rook replied with a nod. "It just that our noses are more sensitive to them now. And it's said that the scents we love the most belong to our mates or potential mates. The scent makes us feel safe, comforted, and loved like your father's watch."
"Huh," Clarke looked at her thoughtfully. "So, what do I smell like? What's my scent?"
Rook and Lexa exchanged a look, and Lexa answered, "A field of wildflowers in bloom. When they open up after a rain."
"I like it," Clarke said, grinning.
Before anything else could be said, the door burst open, and the girls sprang apart. Rook immediately stepping between them and the door, her dagger in hand and ready to face any threat. In strode Abby, looking furious and prepared for a fight. Ryder coming in immediately after.
"Why are you out of bed," Abby immediately yelled, and all three women winced at the shrillness of her voice. "You barely survived a wolf attack! I knew I should have stayed."