So glad to see that many of my readers are still with me (it's great to hear from TheBlackCrownedQueen again)!

In this chapter, although Corrine's heartache continues, she finally decides to take matters into her own hands...

Corrine was chasing Harry through the clouds, bounding in giant leaps as she sought to overtake him. She could hear his laugh trailing out behind him as he flew just in front of her, effortlessly avoiding her grasp. He was tantalizingly close, just out of her reach... if she could only make her leaden body move faster, she could catch him at last. But she felt as if she were running in slow motion through molasses, and try as she might, she couldn't quite touch him.

Just as she was about to give up, he finally turned around to face her - and her blood turned to ice in her veins. His eyes were bright red, lit by flames that burned from within. He sneered, and she could see the outline of sharp, elongated canines in his mouth as he drew closer.

'It's over, Corrine..." he taunted her, and then laughed maniacally as his mouth opened wider to swallow her whole...

She sat bolt upright in bed, gasping for air.

The room around her was still quiet. A gray dawn crept through the windows of the hospital, the light barely touching the shiny tile floor. Slowly, she let her gaze travel up and down the rows of beds and their occupants, reassuring herself of their solidity, their permanence. Even the antiseptic smell in the air was a godsend. It meant that she was in the world of reality, and not in that nightmare landscape she had just fled.

Shuddering uncontrollably, she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She couldn't get the image of Harry's hate-filled eyes out of her mind. She wondered briefly if her dream meant that she was afraid of him, but quickly dismissed the idea as ridiculous. No, it was her grief that threatened to devour her, not Harry. And it was his cruel dismissal of her, that phrase echoing over and over in her head, that haunted her waking and sleeping mind.

Taking deep breaths, she was gradually able to get her trembling body under control, although the effort left her feeling hollow and weak. She lay back down again, but forced her eyes to stay open - she didn't want to risk falling back to sleep and possibly reliving that horror. As the room slowly came to life around her, she stared at the ceiling and indulged in yet another childish fantasy: a wish for a magic potion that would take away her pain and make her forget everything.

Her gloomy reverie was interrupted right after morning rounds by a middle-aged woman with a warm smile who looked Corrine over with a practiced eye. "Oh, you're tiny!" she exclaimed by way of greeting. "Hold on - I'll be right back." Mildly curious despite herself, Corrine waited, wondering what she was about.

The woman returned after a few minutes, carrying a small suitcase. "I'm from the Red Cross. We're distributing necessities to all the steerage survivors, and I wanted to make sure I chose the right sizes for you," she explained. She opened the suitcase, showing Corrine two brand new dresses, a pair of shoes, a hat, and several toiletry items. She then handed her a small envelope. "There's also a hundred dollars, to help you get settled."

"Thank you," said Corrine, surprised and touched. "That's so very generous, but I don't-"

The woman waved off her protests. "The citizens of New York grieve with all of you," she said gently, "and this is the least they can do."

Kate and Katie showed up shortly after the woman left. Katie carried a greasy paper bag in her hand. "Try this," she said, shoving the bag at Corrine. "It's called a doughnut." When Corrine made no move to open it, Katie explained, "It's a sweet, fried ring. Tastes like heaven." She made a rapturous face. Corrine shook her head silently and handed it back, much to Katie's chagrin. She still didn't think she could handle any solid food, no matter how delicious it smelled.

The girls also brought her a new stack of papers. Flipping pages rapidly, Corrine finally found what she was looking for - a summary of the first day of testimony from the hearings into the loss of the Titanic, chaired by Senator Smith from Michigan. Her finger scanned the page as she read quickly. Her expression soured when she came to Ismay's name, and then quirked up in a sardonic smile when she read through Lightoller's testimony. "Clever, Charles," she murmured. "I know what you're about. You may outsmart them yet."

But still, not even a mention of Harry's name- wait a minute. An article in the Sun referred to 'Fifth Officer Lowe'; that was him! With a little cry of excitement, she read the rest of the paragraph, which was about his rescue of the people in the water. There was even a mention of her collapsible, although it was referred to as a 'raft'. But the article got so many details of that night wrong... and didn't give Harry nearly enough credit for what he had done. Her mouth twisted in disappointment. "Surely he deserves more praise than that," she muttered under her breath. "They should-"

"Corr, how long are you going to torture yourself?" Katie interrupted, exasperation creeping into her voice.

Corrine looked up in surprise. She had not expected such vehemence from Katie of all people, who had always been supportive of her relationship with Harry.

"I'm sorry for being so harsh," Katie hastily amended. "I just hate to see you suffer like this."

Corrine was about to respond until Kate interposed, speaking for the first time that morning. "He told you it was over, Corrine. You have to respect his decision." Her voice was soothing but firm. "You have to let him go. You'll only be hurt if you continue to... pine away for him." She laid a gentle hand on Corrine's.

"That's not what I was saying-" Katie retorted angrily, but Corrine held up her free hand, begging for peace.

As she contemplated her friends' words, she felt indignation rise in her chest. She wasn't pining! She just wanted to know that Harry was well, and what he was saying, and where he was... Right. She sighed. She was acting like a lovesick fool, and she knew it. Kate was giving it to her straight, although the truth hurt to hear.

She closed her eyes, trying to block out her reality, the hospital, the people around her. Right then, she wanted nothing more than to be alone. She loved her well-meaning friends, but they couldn't possibly understand what she had been through the past few days, and how the loss of Harry, the glue that had held her together during all of it, had affected her. She opened her eyes again and, seeing their anxious expressions, she smiled at them reassuringly, willing her face to look agreeable. "You're right, of course," she asserted. "And I'll soon be back to my old self, I promise you. I just need some time alone to think about everything."

They turned away from those burning eyes in that gaunt face and slowly crept away.

Now that they had gone, Corrine had time to reflect on what her friends had said. This was the first time they had voiced their opinions out loud, but she was guessing they had probably discussed it amongst themselves before bringing it up to her. And although they had held back for the past few days, allowing her sufficient time to recover physically, they must have decided that now it was time for some brutal honesty.

And it was time for her to face the truth as well. She had to rip the bandage off the wound once and for all, she thought grimly. She had to stop avoiding reality and force herself to think about Harry.

The pain of losing him was still a raw and bleeding wound, but she picked at it resolutely, needed to understand how things had gone so wrong between them. She started with the why. Something had happened between the time she had tried to seduce him and their final explosive argument, she knew. But what was it? What had brought on that iciness, the distance between them?

She would likely never know; his final words didn't leave any definitive clues. He had mastered the art of being emotionally opaque years ago; he had even made a living out of it, after all. And although she loved him through and through, he was still an enigma to her in many ways.

What went wrong between them was easier to explain, although harder to accept. He had given her an ultimatum about their future that was crystal clear. She remembered the finality in his tone as he said it was over, his flat refusal that had brooked no argument, his firm rejection of her love. No one said such uncompromising words, and said them so vehemently, unless they absolutely meant them.

It was that memory to which her mind kept returning over and over again. Combined with her musings on love from the night before, it painted a very bleak picture indeed. There was only one conclusion to make, and she made it reluctantly, because it hurt so very much: that he had never loved her in the first place. She had been projecting her own love onto him, seeing only what she wanted to see, convinced that because her feelings were so strong, his had to be as well.

Her emotions seesawed back and forth from denial to certainty. She tried to be objective, to look at it from every angle, but she kept coming up with the same answer: that if he felt about her the way she did about him, he never would have ended things, never would have given up on them.

But the fact remained that he had walked away from a future with her. And the abandonment and sense of loss he left in his wake were all too familiar.

It was her father all over again.

She bit down on her bottom lip that so hard that she drew blood. No. She would not cry. What good would crying do, anyway? It wouldn't bring Harry back; it couldn't change the past. It wouldn't change his mind.

Still, the traitorous tears threatened at the corners of her eyes, but she refused to give in, fighting the bitter flood with more than a little resentment. She hadn't cried since the night of the sinking; she wasn't going to start now. Crying, like anger, would only make her feel weak. And indeed, the more she held back her emotions, the stronger she felt. After further reflection, she began to feel cross with herself for her ridiculously melodramatic thoughts. She had to stop wallowing in self-pity. So many people had lost so much more than she had. Her friends had survived; Harry - although he no longer wanted her - was alive as well. She had to be grateful for that, at least.

She remembered that terrible night in the water, when she was floundering right next to the swamped boat, on the knife edge between life and death. Now, like then, she found herself at a crossroads. Was she going to live, or was she going to waste away in this hospital bed, mourning her loss, when so many others had lost so much more?

Once again, the choice was clear. Harry had spurned her, put her aside, despite all the promises, despite the feelings she thought he had for her. She had loved him with everything she had... and it wasn't enough. Kate was right. It was time to gather the remnants of her dignity and let him go.

Corrine forced herself to get out of bed before lunch and walk around the ward. Physically, she felt much better than she had on the Carpathia. Her strength had mostly returned - if not her energy - and her shoulder was nearly healed as well. There was no evidence of permanent damage from frostbite, either. Altogether, she knew she was quite fortunate to have escaped with so little outward evidence of her ordeal.

She managed to sip some tea for lunch, which was more than what she usually consumed. But she still passed on the solid food; the idea of chewing and swallowing made her feel nauseous for some reason. After she was finished, she called for a nurse and asked for a message to be sent to the shelter where the girls were staying. Then she waited.

After about an hour, Katie and Kate appeared once again at her bedside, faces wary.

Corrine took a deep breath. "You were right," she began. "I've been a fool. But that's over. I can't - no, I won't - mope around, waiting for..." She swallowed. "He's not coming back for me," she finished brokenly. Kate gave her a pitying look. Katie looked like she was about to cry.

Corrine pulled herself together with an effort. "We have to look to the future now," she said, her voice filled with conviction. "What's next for us? Katie, how soon can we leave this city and get to Washington?"

Katie, looking startled but pleased, answered, "I heard from my cousin this morning. She said they'll let me start work on Monday, so the sooner we leave, the better. We can even go tonight, if you're ready."

Tonight. There was no longer any point to staying in New York. Her original plan had always been to go with Katie and Kate to Washington and find work there. The only reason she had changed her plans was to be closer to Harry. New York held nothing for her now.

She nodded slowly. "Yes, I think that would be a grand idea, actually. I am tired of being in bed; it seems it's all I've done for the past week is lie around." It was a flippant remark, given all that had happened to her, but she wanted to convey a sense of confidence and ease that she didn't really feel. "Katie, if you would be so kind as to make the arrangements...?" Katie nodded her assent and rushed away, seemingly glad to have a purpose.

She was back in a matter of minutes, breathless from her rapid excursion and the news she bore. "The nurse said that if we leave soon, we should be able to catch the last train out of town to Washington."

"Right, then," said Corrine. She forced her unwilling body to move, to pull off the covers and swing her legs over the side of the bed. "As soon as I change into my new clothes, I'll be ready." She looked down at the pretty blue dress she had worn the night of the hooley. It was time to put away that reminder of her time with Harry, too.

It was then that she noticed Kate's expression. Always shy, her friend looked unusually reserved - and apprehensive.

Corrine's eyebrows rose in silent question. Kate glanced quickly at Katie, a gesture that was not lost on Corrine, before she came and sat on the edge of the bed. Kate took her hand and hesitated a moment before she spoke.

"I'm not going with you," she said quietly.

Corrine stared at her, not quite comprehending.

"Daniel has asked me to stay. He found a job at a hotel, and..." Here, Kate blushed. "Well, he thinks we can make a go of it, he and I." She looked Corrine in the eyes, her expression somber but resolute. "I'm going to settle here, in New York... with him."

It took a moment for her words to sink in. Of all the reactions to her announcement, she could never have anticipated this. Corrine had taken for granted that she and her friends would remain together after the disaster, taking care of one another and rebuilding their lives.

And yet... somehow, in the midst of her own drama, she had missed how happy Kate had become. The realization made her feel terrible. She had been so focused on herself that she had missed the joy of new love blossoming right in front of her.

"Oh, Kate," she whispered. "That... that's wonderful." And she meant it with all her heart.

With a relieved cry, Kate threw herself into Corrine's arms.

Katie gently broke up their private moment. "I have to run back to the shelter to grab my things, and then we can be off." She looked at Kate. "You'll stay here with her?" Kate nodded.

After Katie left, Kate told Corrine all about her relationship with Daniel: how she had hidden him with her shawl the night of the sinking so that he could escape in a boat, how Harry had thrown him into the other boat once he discovered him, and how Kate and Daniel had bonded that night as they floated uncertainly in the cold sea. Corrine flinched slightly at the mention of Harry's name, but Kate passed over that part so matter-of-factly that Corrine didn't have time to dwell on it. Their connection had only intensified once they were safe on the Carpathia, Kate explained - and that's when they knew they didn't want to be separated.

"Daniel says he's never met anyone like me," Kate said softly, her eyes shining.

Corrine smiled. "That's because there isn't anyone else like you," she said, hugging her tightly.

Despite her own bittersweet feelings, the glow on Kate's face told Corrine that this was the right decision; her friend deserved happiness - they all did - and if Danny made her happy and treated her well, then Kate should grab onto that feeling with both hands and build a life with him.

All too soon, Katie had returned, and it was time for the final goodbyes. Katie of course teared up as she hugged Kate, sobbing her blessing in a broken voice. But when it was Corrine's turn, she found that despite the lump in her throat, her own voice was steady. Taking her friend's hand for the final time, she said tenderly, "The only good thing that came out of this disaster is that you have finally found love, Kate, and for that, I couldn't be more thrilled."

Kate looked at her with a mixture of love and pity. "Godspeed, Corrine," she said softly. "I hope you find peace someday, too." Tears welled in her grey eyes.

Corrine embraced her friend one more time. "I'll try, Kate. And I'll miss you so much." It took everything in her not to break down and cry... but she wasn't going to let on how painful it was to say goodbye to her beloved friend. She knew Kate wouldn't want her to be sad. And she shouldn't be, anyway - Kate was embarking on a wonderful new adventure, and even if Corrine wouldn't be there beside her, she sincerely wished her all the best.

Once the difficult farewells had been said, Corrine waved over the nurse. "Can you please tell the doctor that I'm ready to leave. I have places to be," she said firmly.

It was time to put New York - and Harry - behind her.

On her way out of the ward, she stopped at the nurse's desk to sign her release papers. The matron gave a perfunctory glance at her name, then did a double-take. "Miss, wait - I believe we have a message here for you...?" She dug into a stack of papers atop the desk and produced a telegram, which she handed over to Corrine.

She unfolded it and read: Alanna - Thank God you are saved. All my love Da.

She blinked, not quite comprehending what she was seeing. Her father hadn't called her his 'dear child' in years - since before her mother died. She turned to the nurse and asked, "Are you sure this is for me?"

"Well, the first name - Corrine - is similar to yours..." She looked down and checked the records again, then looked up, confused. "But we have a different last name... what did you say yours was again?"

"Never mind - it's fine," Corrine said hastily, and after thanking her, she quickly walked back to Katie. She read the telegram once again, slowly, allowing herself a small smile. "Well, what do you know," she whispered. Wordlessly, she handed it to Katie.

Katie read it and grinned. "I knew he'd come to his senses someday," she said, a look of satisfaction crossing her face. "Now, if only..." She trailed off as she saw Corrine's expression.

"No, Katie," she said warningly. "Don't say it - don't even suggest it. One miracle is all I dare ask for."

Katie, showing a surprising amount of fortitude, hailed a cab for them, and they bumped their way to Penn Station. After arriving in the cavernous concourse, they spent a few anxious minutes scanning the timetables. Finally, they found the listing for the train the nurse had recommended: the Congressional Limited, which was scheduled to leave for Washington in ten minutes. The girls pushed their way through the crowds to the booking office to purchase their tickets. To their surprise, once Katie informed the agent with imperious pride that they were Titanic survivors, they found that their fare had been waived. The Pennsylvania Railroad was offering surviving steerage passengers transportation to their original destinations free of charge - a generous gesture from a company that had lost their own director and second vice-president, John Thayer, in the disaster. Once they boarded, Katie found them a nearly-empty coach, and they took their seats just as the train whistled its departure.

As the engine pulled out of the station, Corrine took one last look around. She felt a small pang of regret that she hadn't even gotten to see the city that might have been her new home. She had arrived at night; she was leaving at night. She hadn't even caught a glimpse of the Statue of Liberty, that beacon of freedom. Freedom. Her mouth twisted up in a sardonic smile that Katie fortunately missed. I have all the freedom in the world now, she thought.

Somehow, the thought was not as comforting as it would have been a mere two weeks ago.

Once more, she pushed aside thoughts of what might have been. I'm a survivor, she told herself grimly. Even if I never feel alive again, I have to go on living anyway.

With that final thought, she closed her eyes and let the soothing rock of the train lull her into unconsciousness.

Song inspirations: Lose You To Love Me - Selena Gomez; The Next Right Thing - Frozen 2 Soundtrack