A/N: A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry this chapter is a little late. The c*ronavirus issue has thrown everything off, so it's been quite an adjustment. All my classes got moved online since every school in my state is shut down, and my hours at work got tripled (I work at a grocery store, which is an 'essential service,' so now I'm one of the few people who still has a job and have been working crazy hours). Most people I know have loads of free time because their workplaces are closed and they're quarantined at home, but unfortunately I don't have any free time myself. I was hoping I might be able to update more if everything was shut down, but for now I will be keeping my monthly schedule.

Please, all of you, stay home and stay safe if you can. If you must go out, wear a mask. Even if you can't buy one, their are plenty of tutorials online for making them. I've even made a few out of scrap material for myself and my coworkers.

Stay safe everyone, and I hope I see you all again soon!

Tuesday morning Shiro found himself back in Najenda's office. He didn't have class that day, nor did he have much homework yet, and after calling her office he found that she had an opening in her schedule when he could come in.

"Welcome back, Shiro. How was your first day of school?" Najenda asked as she settled in her chair with her pen poised over her notepad.

"It could have gone better," Shiro admitted.

Najenda frowned. "How so? Did one of your classes turn out to be more difficult than you expected?"

"Uh, no, not yet. The classes aren't too bad. I was just sick yesterday is all."

"What were your symptoms?"

"Uh… dizziness, weakness, nausea…"

"Hot and cold flashes?"

"Yeah."

Najenda nodded. "That's a common result of stress for some people. I don't think it's too much to worry about, especially if you are feeling better today, but make sure you take it easy so it doesn't happen again," she recommended.

"Thankfully I was in the class my friend's dad teaches when it happened, and he let me wait it out in his office since it was close to the classroom," Shiro explained.

Najenda scribbled something on her notepad, then looked back up at Shiro. "Speaking of your friend, did you see him after going back to school?"

"I did, actually. He came by his dad's office while I was in there and we ended up talking for a bit."

"Did you bring up what's been on your mind recently?"

Shiro paused, his hands clenching in his lap. His eyes went to the floor.

Matt and Shiro quietly descended the staircase leading to the flight simulator room. They stopped at the bottom and scanned the small group of students still waiting to do their tests. Shiro was the first to find Sam within the group as the man watched the student in the simulator fly through the small monitor outside the room.

As if he had eyes in the back of his head, Sam turned to face Shiro after only a moment of waiting. A smile crossed the older man's face.

"Shiro," Sam greeted, "are you feeling better?"

Shiro returned Sam's smile with a nod. "Yes, sir. Thanks for letting me rest in your office for a while. I was hoping I could make it to the simulator before the rest of the class finished, and it looks like I made it just in time."

"Wait, wait," Matt interrupted. "Haven't you been here for, like, five hours? How long does this take?".

Sam and Shiro laughed as Sam set a hand on his son's shoulders. "You have much to learn, young Jedi."

Matt stepped away from Sam with his eyes narrowed in distrust. "This is not Star Wars. Not even close," he whispered.

The simulator beeped to signal that the student inside had finished, and Sam glanced at the monitor behind him before looking back at Shiro and Matt. "I have to help Con get the next student started. We'll be able to get you in soon, Shiro. And stick around if you'd like as long as you don't have anywhere to be, Matt."

The two nodded as Sam turned away and walked into the simulator room.

"Sooooo," Matt began, glancing at Shiro. "You do anything during the break?"

Shiro fought the urge to tense up as he thought about the past few weeks. He was doing much better, but his current state did nothing to lessen the cold feeling that flooded his chest as he thought back to what he had so recently been.

"Mm, nothing really," Shiro fibbed after a pause. He didn't look at Matt, afraid that his eyes might give him away.

"It's okay if you don't feel ready to open up to him, but make sure you aren't pushing him away. You shouldn't isolate yourself, especially when you're struggling as you are right now."

"I know." Shiro sighed. "He's a kind person and I doubt he'd be, like, mad or anything. I mean, his dad is a veteran too, so it's not like he'd think any less of me for that. I just like how he doesn't, y'know, pity me. The few people who know all seem, different, I guess? Keith walks on egg shells when I'm on edge, and the McClains- they're such great people who treat Keith and I like family and I respect them so much, but I wish they wouldn't be so….. I don't know. I understand that they want to help, but I don't like when I'm struggling and they have this look in their eyes like I'm a charity case or something. And everyone is always so hesitant to ask me big favors or have expectations for me because they're afraid I won't be able to handle it. Matt isn't like that, and I don't want that to change."

"Can you describe to me exactly how Matt seems to see you? How does he treat you?" Najenda asked, her brow furrowed as she wrote something down. "How does he differ from the other people in your life?"

"Uh, he just treats me, normal, I guess? He's a lot more willing to depend on me than Keith or the McClains. Like, last semester, he ran into a guy he had trouble with in high school. He didn't want to tell me anything at first, but it was because he didn't want to drag anyone into the issue, not just me specifically. He didn't even tell his parents."

"What was the issue?"

"This guy, Quinn, used to bully him for being gay. I guess Quinn had a thing for slurs and verbal abuse, but he didn't stop there. He'd hit him, too, and one day Quinn pushed Matt down the stairs and landed him in the hospital, not that Quinn cared. He probably would have been glad if Matt died, especially since their high school let him get away with everything."

"And what happened when Matt and Quinn met again last semester?"

"Quinn kept bothering him and trying to confront him. Matt did everything he could to stay away at first, and he was constantly anxious about possibly running into Quinn. I taught him a little bit of self defense after I found out that Quinn used to beat him up, which was good since their confrontations got physical after Matt started to get fed up with Quinn stalking him. I was with Matt one time, and even though I'm a big guy and I know how to fight, Quinn had enough people with him that even I got knocked around pretty good."

"Was the issue resolved?"

"Yeah. One of the fights was caught on camera and seen by the security guards. Quinn ended up getting arrested."

Najenda nodded. "So Matt asked you for help in this situation?"

Shiro rubbed his neck. "Not a first, since, like I said, he was trying to deal with everything himself. But when I offered to help, he let me. I don't think many other people would have done that. Especially since dealing with Quinn ended up including physical violence, which everyone else close to me always wants to keep as far from me as possible. I mean, that's good, since I really don't like fighting, but I'm not afraid to take a punch and throw one back if it will keep someone safe."

"I see. So, this incident with Quinn… Does the fact that it occurred recently make you hesitant to bring up your own struggles when talking to Matt?"

Shiro stiffened, then his shoulder slumped as he nodded. "Last semester was hard on Matt. Seeing him deal with Quinn was… weird, in a way. I felt horrible because he was so miserable, and after running into Quinn the last few times he'd have bruises and scrapes from fights. Just by looking at him I could tell he was exhausted, but he'd still try to smile when we were hanging out and talk as if his high school nightmare wasn't back with a vengeance. I felt bad, but I was also always so pissed every time I saw Quinn. For a while I almost thought I was going to lose control and attack Quinn when he wasn't even anywhere near Matt. I kept getting thrown back and forth between feeling bad for Matt and wanting pay Quinn back for everything myself. All it took was seeing a bruise on Matt's face, or his fingers starting to tremble when he saw Quinn and I'd just lose it."

Shiro was too caught up in his thoughts to notice Najenda's pen flying across her notepad. She was silent as she wrote, and only when she finally lifted her pen from the paper did she speak.

"And now you won't tell him about your own struggles because…" she prompted, trailing off.

"….I don't want to see him upset again," Shiro finished.

Silence overcame the room and stuck resiliently, interrupted only by the quiet scratch of Najenda's pen. It was a stark contrast to Shiro's thoughts, which seemed to be screaming so loudly in his head that his temples began to ache.

Najenda has little more to ask Shiro as she wrapped up the session and sent Shiro on his way, though her brow was furrowed in thought as if there was something she wasn't saying. Whatever she might have been keeping didn't matter to Shiro, though. He had a lot to think about – too much.

The world was a blur as Shiro left the clinic and returned to his dorm. Before he knew it, he was in his bedroom peeling off his gloves and coat. He let himself tip backwards and fall gracelessly on his bed. His body bounced slightly on the springy mattress as he stared at the ceiling and contemplated.

Clearly, he wasn't okay. He was better than he'd been for the latter half of the winter break, but his current state wasn't quite good. It wasn't even fine.

"You shouldn't isolate yourself, especially when you're struggling as you are right now."

Najenda's words echoed in Shiro's mind. She was right. The last thing he needed to do was push Matt away. He had few people in his life to count on. He had lost too much to give up on what he had left, especially when what he had left was someone so kind.

But what if learning about Shiro's past made Matt upset? What if it made his chest ache the same way Shiro's had when Matt told him about Quinn? That was a possibility, but at the same time, what if the opposite happened? What if Shiro kept everything from Matt and, the day Matt inevitably found the truth, he was upset that Shiro didn't talk to him about it? What if Matt thought Shiro didn't trust him enough to tell him?

Shiro remembered the unease that had struck him when he found that Matt had been hiding Quinn from him. He remembered the guilt that had swept over him when he realized Matt had been suffering alone, and oblivious to that suffering, Shiro had done nothing to help. He hadn't known, but that didn't change the fact that Matt had been struggling by himself. How would Matt feel now that the tables were turned? Would he feel guilty as Shiro had? Betrayed? Angry?

There was too much happening, too much for Shiro to think about. His whirlwind of thoughts felt like it was twisting and flying erratically through his mind, colliding so painfully with his skull that his head ached.

It was only the afternoon, but suddenly Shiro felt exhausted. His eyelids were too heavy to keep open, so he let them slide closed. He waited as his body relaxed and his mind cleared, allowing him to sleep away the doubts and worries fighting back and forth in his mind.

-000-

Matt had felt the faint buzz of his phone in his pocket during class but didn't dare remove it from his pocket. Professor Rift was a kind teacher, but he was strictly against phone usage during class unless it was related to the assignment. Seeing as the man was both Matt's teacher and his boss, Matt didn't want to risk upsetting him.

When the class was released at noon, Matt slipped into the hallway and dug his phone out of his pocket. Who would call him during class? His parents, Shiro, and Professor Rift were the only people who ever called, but Rift had been teaching the class and Shiro and Matt's family knew he would be unreachable until noon.

Matt expected a spam caller to show up in his history but was surprised to find the culprit to be one of his contacts. Frowning, Matt clicked Keith's number and waited for the other teen to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey Keith, it's Matt. Did you call earlier? I was in class so I couldn't answer," Matt explained.

"Oh, yeah, that was me." Keith paused. "I was just wondering if you've seen Shiro since he got back to school. He seemed a lot better after going to his first appointment with the therapist you recommended, but I wanted to make sure he was actually doing okay and wasn't just pretending in front of me."

Matt hummed. "I saw him yesterday, actually. I guess he got really sick during class, so he was resting in my dad's office for a few hours. I saw him when I went there to get something, but he seemed fine after that. We just kinda talked about whatever while he waited to do the flight simulator."

"Did he say anything to you?"

Matt couldn't suppress the urge to glance at Shiro, who's eyes were on the blank monitor outside the simulator room. 'Mm, nothing really.' Before, Matt would have believed Shiro's words without a moment of doubt. However, after that fateful conversation with Keith not too long ago, he knew better. He knew the winter break had been significant for Shiro in a bad way. Despite that, he didn't dare speak up. While he knew better than to believe everything was fine, he also knew better than to bring up the truth. In the first place, Shiro thought he knew nothing, and would undoubtably feel hurt if he knew that Keith had given away his secrets, accident or not. Secondly, accusing Shiro would do no good to either of them. Neither of them wanted to fight. It would make Shiro feel worse, and when the time came that he needed someone to lean on, he would no longer see Matt as a trusted friend he could turn to.

"Matt?"

Matt blinked at the sound of his name, and Shiro's face came into focus. The aviation student was watching him with a look of concern.

"Are you okay?" Shiro asked.

Matt waved his hands dismissively as he shook the thoughts from his head. "Yeah, I'm good. I'm not used to getting up early for classes again, so I'm fuckin tired as hell." Not a lie. He was tired. That wasn't the reason he'd been staring, though, and he knew it.

"Not about seeing Ms. Kek or what was happening during the winter break, no." Matt chewed is lip. "Is he okay though? Shiro? When he was sick yesterday… I asked my dad about it, and he said Shiro really wasn't looking good for a while."

"He should be okay," Keith assured. "He tends to run himself ragged when he's stressed, then once he gets a little downtime, he'll crash and get sick. It's happened a few times before, so he should be fine as long as it doesn't happen frequently."

"Okay, good. Thanks."

Someone walking by bumped Matt's shoulder, and he fumbled his phone. Matt sent a glare at the other student, then raised his phone back to his ear and started down the hallway for somewhere more private.

"Matt."

"Hm?" Matt raised his eyebrows as he stepped into a study room that branched off from the hallway.

"Are you holding up okay?"

Matt frowned. "Yeah, of course."

"Good. I was just wondering, because, well…" Keith paused. "Shiro doesn't like to think about it, but whenever he hits a low, it's always taken a toll on me, too. I worry a lot, maybe even too much, but he's all I have. I can't help it."

"That's okay. I hope you at least take a little time for yourself, though."

"Yeah, you too. Even if Shiro gets really bad again, make sure you look after yourself too and not just him. It isn't always easy to try not to focus 100% of your energy on someone you care about when they're hurting, but it'll only make both of you feel worse if you run yourself into the ground. These past few weeks, even, Shiro always had this look on his face whenever he saw me. I felt bad, because it isn't his fault that he's struggling and I don't want him to feel guilty, but I also can't just step away."

Matt nodded even though Keith couldn't see him. "I understand," he said. "Shiro talks about you like you're the world, and if your situations were reversed, I think he'd do the same things you do. I know I've only known him for a few months, but he isn't the kind of person who will turn his back on someone."

"Yeah. He's already put up with all the trouble I've gotten into in the past."

A smile crossed Matt's face. "I haven't exactly been the quiet one either."

"Are you talking about what happened last semester?"

"…Yeah." Keith paused. "Shiro didn't tell me much, just so you know. He said it wasn't his place when I asked him why he had bruises when he came home. I'd gotten worried that he might've had a bad episode at school that he wasn't telling me about. He only told me he'd helped a friend who was dealing with someone dangerous. He actually didn't mention you by name, but I know you're the only person at school who he considers a 'friend'. Well, he's friends with your dad too, I guess, but he only ever refers to him formally. You're the only one he calls a 'friend'."

A flash of warmth blossomed in Matt's chest. "It's fine. I don't mind if you know about what happened."

"Oh, well, I don't know much, anyway."

"It was just a guy I had problems with in high school. He ended up pushing me down a flight of stairs at the school and got away with it, and when I ran into him on the college campus, I was afraid he might try to do something worse. Shiro taught me a bit of self-defense and helped me out when Qu- er -the guy came after me."

"Oh." Keith went silent for a moment. "Why did that guy go so far? I mean, bullying is bad enough, but that's basically attempted murder."

"He was pissed because, after ages of him bullying me for being gay, I got back at him."

"That…sucks. The bullying thing, not the gay thing."

"I figured that's what you meant."

"Yeah. I mean, I'm gay too, so I'd hope I don't have any problems with gay people." Keith paused. "Except that I hardly know any others. Most of the guys I know are straight."

"Not Shiro. Or me."

"Yeah. My friend Lance is bi, too. But that's only, what, three people?"

"Three is better than none."

"True."

There was a long silence as neither teen knew what to say next, and eventually it grew too long for Matt to handle. "Well, I have to go, but feel free to call or text me whenever. As long as I'm not in class, I'll get back to you. I'll keep an eye on Shiro, too, and let you know if anything happens."

"Yeah, okay, thanks."

"I'll talk to you later, Keith."

"Bye, Matt."

The line went dead, and Matt let another smile split his face. It was strange, since he'd never actually met Keith is person, but he felt like he'd made another friend. Maybe it didn't really count, since Keith was Shiro's brother and they were both just trying to look after him, but for the moment, that was enough.

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Matt left the study room and began his walk to the IT Center for his upcoming shift.