Third Person

"I love how people can move on. Life truly is a peculiar yet fascinating thing. You make friends, you have fun, you like the same things, and then one day they just seem to disappear without a trace. I don't have any friends, of course, but if I had, then I fear this would happen to me too."

"Those friends you made years or months ago are gone now. They're not always going to be there. They're not always going to like the same things. Maybe they liked this book you read, but moved on now. They like other things, they do other things. It's funny. Sometimes I'd like to move on too. Start all over. Remember the thrill of not knowing how to answer to a compliment or a gift I got one day, remember the happiness it brought me."

"Remember my first time being aware of this so called 'power' then forget about it. Start from scratch. New obsession, new people to meet. New book to read, new characters to obsess over. Perhaps the thought of just forgetting the happiness one thing brought to you is what makes me fear forgetting. I don't want to forget about anything. I never want to forget this place, this flowers I've taken care of before, these people I've met and grown to love— I don't want to forget"

"But one day I'll have to."

"That's what I fear. I don't fear death. I don't fear the dark. I fear forgetting."

"Today I met the most interesting man in the world, I think. His name, I had yet to know. But from just looking at him, even in the distance, I couldn't help but feel a small interest in him grow on me. This interest went away very soon, but I had nothing better to do than to watch him and his... sister? I didn't know. He wasn't in the throne room like other knights that came and went with time. They were in the garden, perhaps my parents were trying to paint a good first impression."

"I was sure they weren't going to last long in this cursed place. Even I wanted to leave."

"Other maids and servants were walking around here and there, possibly decorating the throne room and entrance for the ceremony dedicated to new knights that will work for both my sister and I. Both him and his friend were quite peculiar. They looked as if they were both really quiet and serious. How would I know that, though? I wasn't allowed out of my room, I couldn't be able to get to know them more or watch them closer even if I tried."

"They both looked alike, as if they were brothers. I did notice the girls hair color was different than the man's. Perhaps they were cousins, or related in some kind of way. The girl could have been a future love interest, and she had the potential, but I wasn't interested in her. I was too busy thinking about man next to her. I couldn't see the man from a closer view, so I watched him all the way from my balcony. I could not hear what they were talking about, for the birds chirped loudly"

"In a few days, I think maybe five, they ceremony would take place. I wished time would go faster, but here it feels like time had slowed down."

"I was finally able to take a look at the man, or should I say: Tord. His name was quite peculiar for me. Tord. I've never heard that name or a name similar to that before. Maybe he was from someplace elsewhere. He didn't look like my sister and I. He wasn't as pale as we were, and he didn't have the same accent as we did. I believe he's from maybe Norway, or from Northern Europe or something along the lines with that."

"I was sure that Tord would get assigned to be my knight, since mother told me so, other than the fact neither my parents wanted a man near Tamara. My sister got Tord's friend as her personal knight, as I got Tord. Maybe I just got him because she didn't care about me as much as her."

"Maybe I'm just overthinking things."

"I'm curious, Mother says that men cannot be with other men, but I must admit, how would it feel to be with a man such as Tord? How would it feel to be with a man just overall? The idea doesn't seem so bad to me honestly, but who am I to say what's right or wrong?"

"Independently of having a female knight or male knight, I can't help but feel jealous of my sister. She would probably make both of them fall in love with her. How wrong would that be? My sister flirting with my knight? And not only him, but hers too? Imagine if that happened, it would be crazy. Maybe too crazy for comfort."

"I wouldn't change Tord for anyone, not even Tamara's knight. After all, now that he's my personal knight, doesn't that mean that he practically belongs to me now? He's like a dog, he would do everything I'd ask him to do. I could ask him to jump off a cliff and he'd obey me without thinking twice."

"How charming :)"

"I wished that men could be with each other. I wished I could be allowed to be with men too. Mother says that people that think like that are crazy, and aren't sane. Father says the same but got a little more defensive than my mom. I wonder if he held a special hate to this subject, not that it mattered, really. It doesn't matter that I'm thinking this either, no one needs to know I have these thoughts. I'm going to get rid of this page anyway"

"Today was my first day with Tord as my assigned knight. He's too quiet, even if silence comforts me, he held a different type of silence. It was an awkward one. I just wanted to leave him alone and go lock myself inside my room; I expected today to be so much different and better than it actually was."

"Despite my immense disappointment in Tord's behavior, I did notice he had quite the soothing voice. It was beautiful, almost bone chilling, I must admit. Today I even got to see his smile, only for a slight moment before he wiped it off his face. I think he saw his friend when he smiled so I guess they weren't actual friends and were actually relatives."

"He had such a beautiful smile, I can't wait to know him more. Seems like he still won't open up to me, even if I order him to but it just makes me want to know him more. He looked so mysterious and serious. I feel like when he gets to open up to me, it'll be more satisfying"

"For now, however, I can't help but wonder how can I hear his voice more."

"Today we met with some kingdoms in a gala. The Velvet Kingdom, Winston and many others I didn't remember the names of. The room was full of princes and princesses dancing and getting along well. Even my sister left me alone to rot in a table as she went in a danced with some random prince in the middle of the ball room."

"Once again, she grabs the spotlight and doesn't let it go anywhere away from her."

"Mother told me that one day, any of those princesses would be my wife, and that I should check who did I liked the most, but I couldn't focus on them. They weren't ugly, of course they weren't. There were actually multiple princesses I could feel myself possibly attracted to, and their beautiful dresses didn't help but I wasn't in the mood for searching for my future bride. I was too busy watching Tord dance with someone else that wasn't and would never be me."

"Perhaps if I danced with a princess, I'd grab Tord's attention."

"Why did Tord even want to become a knight? Now that I built the courage to ask my father about it, he told me that since they were always so close to death, they couldn't be in a relationship with anyone. I even heard this one myth about them, though I don't remember what it said anymore. Something about not finding meaning in something. I should go ask Doris about it again sometime."

"As for Tord, he's just as silent as he always is. He always hears about my problems, but never says anything. I've, for some reason, grown fond with his silent ways. As if I knew that he did support me, but wasn't allowed to say anything. I feel like Tord is much more kind that he seems at first glance. But who am I to determine how good of a person is he? I could go get myself in danger to see if he saves me, but that is his job, after all. He would definitely protect me from whatever reckless and dangerous thing I do. Maybe if I got someone else in danger, it could prove my theory."

"But for now, I can only wonder."

"As usual, my parents fought when it was already late. Both my sister and I were awake, our knights as well. It was raining outside, so I couldn't take my usual walk through the garden, so I had to settle with the inside of the castle. I sometimes wished my parents just got separated if they hate each other so much."

"I heard many tales about their history, how they escaped together and ruled this kingdom from a very young age. They 'sacrificed' many thing to be together and all of that crap Mother says to Tamara when she's angry and tried to guilt trip her. I can't help but scoff internally whenever Mother brings that same story up. Why can't she let it go, I wonder?"

"It didn't matter if they escaped together; they hate each other now. Why live in such an unhappy way for the sake of a small tale told to children?"

"Mother told us what happened to knights that didn't follow orders. She told us what happened to knights that did bad things. Liking men is a crime deserving of death in this kingdom so I guess I'm a criminal now. I wanted to die anyway. There's nothing good in here, no one who I truly care about other than Doris. Huh! How funny! No one can even match to a garden. I love a garden and its flowers more than a human being"

"Dearest Ares,

Lovely Aphrodite.

Strongest Fire,

Deepest ocean."

"You, my red carnation,

I'll be your pleasure and pain.

You, my wild rose,

My heart will ache for you."

"Tulips are meant to be passion

While the purple Hyacinth is sorrow."

"Regardless of which flower you are,

I know you are the loveliest.

Regardless of which element you are,

we will always be the opposite of the other"

"Look at me in the eyes.

Tell me how much you despise me

We both know it's a lie anyway."

"I offer you my apple blossom,

And I give you flowers hoping you would understand

I could say yes to your demands,

But I hold a yellow carnation in my right hand"

"Kiss my neck while I hold a knife next to yours.

Love you every night but hate you by day.

Use me as if you truly loved me,

But leave when the day starts."

"I love you, but there's something wrong.

I hate you, but there's something right

I love to hate you, dearest Ares

I hate to love you, my lovely Aphrodite"

"..."

"I suck at poetry"

"I heard flowers depending on their type and color meant many different things. Tulips, for example, represent passion, while a wild rose meant pleasure and pain. Well, I think they mean that, I know a book about this is somewhere lost in the library."

"I remember Tamara wrote a poem for my Mother and Father. Even I read it and I must admit she's way better at this than I'll ever be. I wonder what it takes to be good at poetry. Is it practice? If it is, then what exactly does someone practice to be good at that? Mother said that she loved the poem, I think she even cried. How talented must someone be to make someone cry reading a piece of paper with about, I don't know, 4 paragraphs?"

Torn pages. Some stained with tears, others half burnt, and others messily scribbled all over until nothing but ink could be seen, Tom's diary was a mystery to those who wanted to find out of the many secrets the young prince hid. The journal seemed to be incredibly empty, all of the pages where he wrote in his deepest and darkest thoughts were missing. Not that Tom would admit what he wrote there was true or not. He didn't want anyone to know. And by the time someone actually asked the question Tom would already be dead.