Asena POV

"He's insane if he thinks pulling our scouts out now is a good decision! It will get them all killed!"

I rolled my eyes. Lucas had been at it for over an hour now. Jasper chimed in next, shaking his head, "He's absolutely insane."

Ret tossed another handful of sticks into the fire and said, "Cut it out, will ya? He's not going to pull the scouts out. Asena would never let it happen."

They all looked towards me as the bottle met my lips and I drank deeply. It was going to be a long night.

"Yeah, our fearless leader," Lucas chided.

"Our drunk fearless leader," Jasper said as he got up to grab another bottle. "And don't get me started on that Shadowsinger. Gods, he was so… 'I'm all mysterious and cool and better than you at spying' it was insufferable. I wanted to carve that smirk right off his ugly-"

"Hey, cool it Jasper!" I barked at him.

They all turned and looked at me again, with concern lining their faces.

"They're all here, fighting for our people. So, shut it or go join the other traitors in the mountains. We don't need this kind of discourse running through the camps."

Jasper scoffed and mumbled under his breath before taking a long swig.

"What?" I goaded him.

He shook his head and made off towards the woods for more kindling. I rose, wanting to beat it out of him, but Lucas's arm on mine kept me where I was.

Half of the army had already made for the tents. The other half were all around us. Drinking and cutting up, trying to get the oncoming battle off our minds. We were going to be fighting our own. Friends, families. None of us would be able to sleep until it was over.

"I hate this part," Ret said under her breath.

This was the part we all hated. Waiting for something to happen. I looked around at the many bonfires that were lit, each had their own group of soldiers. Some were talking while others were too drunk to do anything but dance or fight. I listened to the fast paced tune that rang out from the civilians. A band of sorts that had started with some wild teenagers, now played for the soldiers almost every night in the camps.

I smiled softly at the soldiers who danced quickly around the fire. I stood, wanting nothing more than to join them. Lucas stood with me, furrowing his eyebrows together at my gaze.

"Let's make the best of it then."

I looked at him, at the hair that was slightly curlier than his brothers. At the sharp lines of his face and the fullness of his lips. I grabbed onto his hand and yanked him towards the music.

He grabbed onto my waist and we started in on the quick footed dance of our people. Moments later, Jasper and Ret joined us. I laughed at how serious they took it, making sure each foot was perfectly placed in front of the other. I threw my head back, just as Lucas dipped me low to the ground, my wings almost scraping the dirt. I held tight to his shoulders and watched those beautiful white wings flare wide while he tried to keep his balance. He smiled at me, regal and unyielding, just as he pulled me back up. He pushed us around the fire as the other soldiers either joined in or clapped to the resounding beat.

I felt it in my bones, in my heart. All the hatred and nastiness I'd felt since seeing him again just disappeared. I tipped my head back, breathing in the sweet smell of home.

Then I felt him. Like a kick to the shins.

I looked over Lucas's shoulder and I saw him standing on the outskirts of the camp along with the rest of the Night Court entourage. Drakon and Miryam were smiling, motioning with their hands of what the dance of our people entailed.

His eyes never left mine. Not even when Lucas's hand dipped lower than it should have. I stared at him long enough to realize that Lucas was deliberately pulling me away from the group. We danced in circles, towards the other side. I patted his shoulder, letting him know I was done for the night, but he kept twirling me around.

"Lucas!" I said over my laughter. I spotted the blonde headed female he had been courting for months. I slipped from his grip just in time for him to twirl into her. She caught on quickly, giving me a tense smile as he watched me walk towards all of the hate and nastiness I wanted so badly to never feel again.

I clenched and unclenched my fists, then pulled my hair from the nape of my sweaty neck. I tried and failed to get my harsh breathing under control as I made my way over to their group.

I kept my eyes pinned on Azriel's as I stopped short of them. I bowed slightly towards Rhysand and Feyre and they nodded politely towards me, glancing between me and their Spymaster.

It must have been the amount of alcohol I consumed because I turned back towards Azriel. His usual hardened face seemed calmer, more open as he gazed at me. At my flushed cheeks and wild hair. I smiled at him, softly. His eyes flared wide as I stuck my hand out towards him.

He looked from my eyes towards my hand and back up again. I waited, with my hand outstretched.

For a moment, I thought he might take it. Might give me a chance to tell him everything I'd ever hoped to.

Instead, he clenched his teeth, the muscle feathering in his jaw. He took a slight step back and crossed his arms over his chest.

With that single movement, I felt everything inside of me deflate. I let him read every emotion on my face. Every bit of hurt and love and anger I felt in that moment. He opened his mouth to say something, but a hard body crashed into my hand and gripped my waist hard before he could say it.

I felt the hard, muscled body of Lucas as he whisked me away into the dance once more.

"I've got you," he whispered in my ear. And I let the numbness wash over me once more when I realized that my mate truly hated me.