"Are you sure you have everything?" Jughead asks Jellybean in the bus station while they wait for hers to arrive.
His sister was going back to California and it's like he's losing her once again. It felt really nice having her around again, teasing and hugging her but she needed to go, many college classes already lost and she couldn't afford to lose more. So here they are, with him suppressing his feelings so he doesn't cry.
"Again, yes. And even if I'm wrong, Alice can send it for me" Jellybean rolls her eyes at him "I don't get why you and dad always treat me like a child"
Right after the words leave her mouth, she realizes her mistake, "I mean, dad used to treat me like a child" she looks the other way and Jughead knows she is trying very hard not to cry.
"It will take us some time to get used with him not being here" he comforts her knowing exactly what she's feeling.
His relationship with his father was a complicated one. Ever since he was little, his memories of his old man involved him drunk. Of course FP had his sober days once in a while, and when that happened Jughead enjoyed as much as he could - he wasn't innocent and knew it was not going to last so he took as much it was offered to him. And even then, he never really had a connection with FP. His dad used to be the cool kid and he, the loner weirdo everyone would ignore. They couldn't be more different if they tried.
So his dad joined the Serpents and everything became too much. Being an alcoholic was one thing, a criminal is completely the opposite, at least that's what he thought of the biker gang. So Jughead severed ties with his father, well tried to, because he knew FP was always around. And many months later he would find himself in the same position his father was, and Jughead finally understood him, a part of FP.
Finally they created a connection and all was in peace. Until his world fell apart, but not his relationship with FP. They weren't extremely close when he died, but Jughead was used to his father being a phone call away. And now, though his dad's line wasn't disconnected yet, he can't bear not to look at the name in his contact list and wish he could hear his voice.
"Yeah, I know and it sucks" she looks up at his face "I don't want to sound clingy and annoying but I need to ask you something Jug. Remember when I got here and I said it was just the two of us now? Well, I've been thinking about it and about what you said in the car, though I still think it's bullshit. But you were right. Losing dad made me realize how alone I'm in the world. Both of us actually, but you still have Veronica and your girlfriend and I Alice. What I'm trying to say is that, while they are amazing to us, we need each other. I need my brother, now more than ever. So I want you to pick your damn phone when I call and answer my texts and to spend my holidays with you. We are family so we need to act like one" she looks at him expecting his reaction and Jughead knows what she means.
"You have my word Jelly" he hugs her and mess with her hair hearing her groan. "I'm being serious, jerk" "Yeah, I know. Me too" She glares at him, analyzing to see if he's telling the truth or not, but decides to trust him anyway.
They see her bus coming and it's finally time to say goodbye.
"Okay, I have to go now" she picks her bags and he helps her with one.
"Will you call when you land?"
"If course I will. Didn't you hear any word I just said in my speech? Snob" he chuckles and gives her another hug.
"Bye Forsythia" he sings while she enters the bus.
"Eat shit, Forsythe" she sings back earning a glare from the driver and he laughs hard at his sister indecorum.
Leaving the bus station, he takes a cab to the reason he can't sleep at night. When the vehicle stops he is relieved to see the bar is open and functioning without his help.
Inside, there are few Serpents, some from his time in the gang and some new. He spots a friendly face sitting in the back and goes straight to the guy.
"Word on the street you're the new boss around here" Jughead approaches Sweet Pea carefully but relax when he sees the smile forming his old friend's face.
"Jones!" Sweets goes for a hug a clap in the back "Thought you were gone already" he indicates to the other chair available and Jughead sits with him.
"I couldn't. Not without working this thing out" he looks around the bar to make his point and Sweets laughs.
"So you know now?"
"Yep. And I still can't believe I'm the owner of this place"
"I told FP you weren't going to take this well but your old man was stubborn"
"He had his reasons I guess" he shrugs "I don't know, I'm still trying to understand why he would leave this to me. It's been years since I set foot in this town and I didn't intend to move back. It's all very confusing to me" his hands goes to his beanie-less head trying to organize the mess in his mind and leans on the table "But enough about my daddy issues. What about you? I barely talked to you the last time I was here. How are you? How is life?"
"Can't complain" Sweet Pea shrugs "I was kind of lost when we finished school, so I tried to work. You know I couldn't afford college back when we were teenagers but my family convinced me to give community college a try. And I did but school was not meant for me. Got the degree though. And between classes I started to work in some workshops, Riverdale, Greendale and some other close towns. Me and Fangs managed to save some money and decided to open our own. The business is good, especially now those Goolies are gone"
"Sounds like a good life"
"It is" Sweets agrees "It's much better than the alternative I used to have before I joined the Serpents. Being part of the group kind of saved my life"
"Me too" Jughead speaks truthfully.
Becoming a Serpent was one of the best things that ever happened to him. Except the parts which Penny was involved and he had to deal with other disgusting and painful stuff. But wearing the leather jacket turned him into the better version of himself he never knew it existed. The leader, the brave and understanding Jughead. He doesn't regret his decision, not a bit.
"And the other younger Serpents?"
"The same old I guess. Some left town, trying for a new life. Only few went to college and heard about some that are in jail. But FP found a way to take care of them inside and employment for when they get outside" Sweets speaks with a proud tone "From our group, the only ones I still talk to is Fangs and Toni, and now you. And Topaz is doing really good, living in L.A. with the red head. They still visit a lot because Cheryl needs to be here to make sure her maple business is doing alright"
"I reached out to Tony some time ago. Had to be sure Cheryl was okay with me telling her brother's murder to the world" Jughead recalls.
"Right. FP told everybody here about your book. Congratulations, man" he pats Jughead on the back, proud of his friend.
"Thanks"
"Is it already in the stores? You know reading is not my thing but I will definitely read yours"
"Not yet, but I will let you know. And how the young, careless, short fuse Sweet Pea became the new Serpent leader?" Jughead asks changing the subject.
Sweets laughs, "Well, your dad knew you were not coming back and he needed a successor. I was one of the few that remained in town" he shrugs "It wasn't easy in the beginning and I wasn't expecting to take his place so soon but I had a great teacher. Your dad was a great leader"
"That he was" Jughead agrees with him.
"And you? What are you going to do with the White Wyrm? Sell it? I guess everyone around here wants to know" Sweet Pea looks around to see some Serpents watching them, trying to hear their conversation.
"No. This place was important to FP so I want to keep it"
"You plan to move back to Riverdale?" he raises his brows not believing it.
"I don't. Nothing personal but if it was up to me, I would never step foot in this town again. I'm doing fine in New York and intended to stay there"
"So what are going to do?" Jughead opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by his cell ringing.
"Sorry" he apologizes checking to see Veronica calling him and decides to take before she calls again "Ronnie, I can't talk right now, kind of busy. Is it important?"
"You mean busy with the despicable lying blonde cheater you still talk to or something different?" with a mocking voice and he rolls his eyes.
"I'm at the White Wyrm talking with Sweet Pea. Why do you want to know, mom?"
"Very funny Forsythe. Anyway, I won't have lunch at the Pembroke today so Lucille here wants to know if you want her to cook lunch for you. See how lucky you are for having a friend like me?" he can hear his sister voice in his head. Snob
"Very lucky, and no. I will probably eat somewhere. Anything else?"
"That's all. Bye Truman Capote" she ends the call and he can help but rolls his eyes again at her reference.
"Sorry. Veronica can be a little overwhelming sometimes, acting like my mom" he apologizes again putting away his phone "Back to where we were, I have no idea how to do this. Never had to manage anything in my life, and I'm pretty scared about this whole thing"
"You know, being the next in line, I had to follow your dad around a lot. I know little but I guess I can help you with some stuff, some books" Sweets offers and he feels a lot of gratitude towards the man "That is, if you want my help"
"Are you kidding me? Of course I do. Can we do this now or are you busy with something?" Jughead eagerly asks.
"Sure. But with one condition though"
"Anything"
"I'm going to need Veronica's new number" he says with a serious face and Jughead laughs at him.
"Anything but this. Veronica will kill me and I will miss my friendship benefits, like her personal sous chef, potentially for a long time. Sorry can't do that"
"We can work trough a solution while we see those books. Let's go, Jones" Sweets gets up and he goes along with him to what he remembers being the White Wyrm's office "You know, Jellybean is right. You are becoming a snob. Hey is Veronica single?"
"Wait a minute, you were talking to my sister? Why were you talking to my sister?" the thought of Sweet Pea and his sister talking or having something close to a friendship or something else makes him worried, feeling a headache coming soon.
Sweet Pea laughs but doesn't answer his question. They stay in the office for the rest of the day, with him trying to understand the numbers and failing to get what his old friend was saying. His dad was right, Sweets was not great with business but Fangs was, so in the end of the day the three of them were tired, and with lot of books opened in front of them.
Trying to wrap his mind around everything, Jughead doesn't see the time passing, and when he blinks two weeks were already gone.
He divided his time with Sweet Pea and Fangs, in their garage or the White Wyrm. It felt good for them, almost like the time hasn't passed at all. They still wore the jackets – at least Sweets and Fangs did, Jughead had no idea where his were – talked about bikes, Sweets crush on Veronica or his inability to let her go, and about the future, with Pea being scared of taking the leadership. Jughead knew how much the role weighed in his shoulders when he had the title. It was nice but he was glad it was over.
The other part of his time was spent dealing with suppliers and still trying to get the hang of it. It was hard. He used to handle with words not numbers, there was a reason why the artistic aesthetic always screamed so much at him. He was born for drama, not for dealing with people and calculus. Neither was his father with the last one so Jughead had no idea how the man did it and for so long. Veronica promised to help him but he could see had her hands full, trying to manage her business and her bars not being in New York, so he tried not to disturb her, pretending to understand everything she was saying when she first looked at the books. He knew it was a matter of time before she has to pack up and leave for NY leaving him in the city they both hate.
And the other and last part of his time was with the Blue and Gold. It was exciting and scary and the same time, being there with kids that looked for guidance from him. They asked him about what and how to write, what he thought about this or that and looked at him like he was some writing genius. He took a special like to Gabriel, the kid from his first day that reminded Jughead of him. He could see the kid struggle, trying to find time for school, work and the newspaper. When Jughead asked him why he stayed at the Blue and Gold when he could have more time to rest, Gabriel said that it would help him with college applications, and then in a lower voice, he said it was the only time in his week he could do something he really likes to do. The Blue and Gold was a scape for him, just as it was to Jughead. He was trying to find a way to help the kid but so far he had come up with nothing. The other kids were fine, but he still read their works and left editing to Betty. It was fun most of the time, except the parts where the girl Betty said had a crush on him tries to keep touching him. It was quite disturbing to him that a sixteen year old would feel something other than annoyance for him. Betty laughed when he said that out loud.
And he doesn't like to admit or even think about it, but the said blonde has a part of his time too. He tries to ignore her when they are in the school, talking only the necessary with her and running from her like he runs from his sixteen year old admirer. But the class is not very big and there's not much he can do when they are alone in room waiting for the kids to arrive or leave. It's easy to get lost in time, being in the same room they were almost a decade ago, doing the nearly the same thing they used to do.
With her, everything was easy and he missed this easiness, the connection, like they were thinking the same thing and both knew it, talking only with their eyes. He used to love this, and now he is afraid.
When he first started seeing a therapist, he had to tell the shrink about his story, step by step. It hurt, to relive all the stuff that marked and molded him, but it was way worse listening to what she had to say. Jughead you've been burned a lot in your life. The people that were meant to take care of you left you to fend for yourself ever since you were little. And the ones you had courage enough to open yourself to, disappointed you. Broke your trust. It's quite normal to create a form of a shell around you, your heart. It's not easy for you to open up again and I don't blame you.
He knew that. He didn't have to spend a hundred dollars to hear what he already knew. But somehow, the words did something to him and he started to see his relationships – or the lack of it – in a different way. Especially his and Betty's.
He made the first move – and he still doesn't know where he found the courage to kiss her. He opened the shell to her. Let her know his deepest fears, desires, dreams and everything went down with a single video. So the shell was closed. But with only a look from the greenest eyes he ever seen, be can feel himself open again. He doesn't know if it's because she was his first love, or the experiences and traumas they lived together, but it's like everything is right in their places.
Yet, he doesn't let his mind go there. He remembers the great parts but also the bad and terribly ones.
The first hours after leaving the Coopers on the prom night were bad but the other day, felt even worse. He hadn't seen the real video, the one played to everyone in the gym, but living in the age of Instagram, he only had to open the app to see his best friend kissing his girlfriend. The pain was like any other. Ignoring her calls and her attempts to reach him was felt in his whole body. Instead of when his mother left him, Jughead wanted to stay in bed all day moping and asking what he did wrong to deserve this kind of thing and he did that, for two straight days until Veronica walked in and made him shower saying I can stand to look at you acting like Bella in New Moon. You deserve more, we deserve more. In his brain, he knew she was right but in his heart it was all wrong. He still had bad days, missing her, their talks, her touch and he knew Veronica missed her too. They healed together, but he knows there is still a hole in their hearts in the shape of Betty.
The last time he opened himself was for Jen, but right now he knows he's not strong enough to do it again, especially for the girl – now woman – who made him close years ago.
When you open yourself to love, you also open for pain, Jughead. Only the people we care about have the power to hurt us. And there is a high probability, they will do because no one is perfect.
With what his therapist said in his mind, two weeks later, he finds in himself in a Pop's booth, with a calculator in his right and a bunch of papers in front of him. He can feel a headache coming soon from spending his afternoon doing math and calling suppliers and presenting himself as FP's son, his lack of negotiating skills making him regret not paying attention to Veronica when she talked about business.
His stupor is broken with the smell of coffee and later, a cup put right in front him. He looks up to see Gabriel, the student from Riverdale High, picking up a plate of pancakes from his tray and putting on the table.
"Pop Tate told me to bring it to you. Said you were going to need this" he shrugs looking at Jughead's questioning face "You look a lot like me doing my Biology homework, are you okay?"
"No" he shoots without thinking "I mean, yes. Everything is fine. This is just not my area but I will get the hang of this. Someday, I hope" he analyzes Gabriel's face seeing the dark circles under his eyes "And you? You look tired"
"This is the portrait of what a baby can do to you. That's what you get when you don't use a condom" he shrinks at his own tone "Sorry. I love the kid and you definitely shouldn't have to hear stuff like this. I'm just exhausted" he apologizes rubbing his eyes with his free hand.
"You look like it. And I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but you are doing a good job. Your kid is very lucky and will be very proud of what you are doing someday, not giving up and taking care of him. I know I would"
Jughead doesn't lie. He knows he was an accident, just like Gabriel's child. His parents were young, not like the teenager in front him, but not as prepared as well. In the beginning everything was fine, but then their money problems started and Jellybean came. His mother wasn't prepared to become a mom and his dad had to deal with addiction. On the other side, Gabriel and his girlfriend also weren't prepared to take care of another human being, but they were trying, some thing Jughead did not see growing up.
"Thanks, I guess" he scratch his head blushing "Anyway, I have the night shift. If you want anything else, I'm your guy for it"
"Thanks. And thanks Pop Tate for me too"
He devours his coffee and pancakes in minutes, reminding him when he was younger and used to spend his nights on the same booth he was sitting right now, writing the story that made his bank account a little bit fatter. Jughead goes back to what he was doing before until someone clears it's throat next to him and he is forced to look up.
"I walked in and saw you absorbed in whatever is you are doing in a Saturday night and it reminded me of when you would to do the same years ago" Betty says with a smile and he laughs, noting their minds still operates in the same way.
"You know, I was thinking the same thing a few minutes ago"
"What is this?" she motions her head in the table direction "Research for a new book? You looked concentrated"
"I wish" he did wish it was. His first book wasn't even on the shells yet but his agent was already bugging him for the next one. I know this kind of business Jughead and trust me, it's going to be huge. They will want another one right away and we need to be ready.
"I'm trying to deal with this bar stuff but I'm not that great. Veronica told me she would help me but she has her own thing going on so I can't ask more of her time right now" he sighs frustrated and his hands goes to his hair, messing with it.
Her eyes follows his movement and he knows what's she's thinking. His beanie. More particularly, the one she knitted for him.
He doesn't use it anymore. He stopped a week after prom. He couldn't look at it nor use it, even though it was his trademark. But he wouldn't let go of it either. So the beanie was gone, probably buried somewhere in his closet in New York, or Veronica already found it and threw it in the garbage. He hoped it was the first scenario, not wanting to imagine the second one.
He tried other hats of course, knowing the accessory was a safe blanket for him but he didn't clicked in with any he found. Even Veronica agreed with him. They don't have enough personality for you, Jughead.
So now, he walks around hatless. Still missing the beanie, but with enough courage to not wear it.
"You know, in the weeks before FP's passing, I was helping him a little with the White Wyrm. It was nothing big, and he had his hands full with paper work from the police station, so I offered to help. I can do the same for you, of course, if you want my help" she offers and he can see her expectancy in her eyes, along with fear of being rejected. And even if he didn't know her, or used to, her hands fiddling her purse strap would give her away.
He tells himself he should say yes because she's being kind. Offering to help even though she had no obligations to. And would be very impolite to say no, when he just admitted he has no clue of what he is doing. Saying yes is the right thing to do. The new improved Jughead thing to do. So that's what he does.
"If you don't think it will be a burden to you-"
"Not at all" she interrupts him and he can feel her excitement "Sorry" she blushes and indicates to the booth in front of him "Can I sit?"
"Yeah, sure" he is a little dumbfounded with her eagerness, forgetting how Betty Cooper used to be. She sits and waves her hand to a waiter and Gabriel appears in their booth in seconds.
"Hi Gabriel, can we get two milkshakes, one strawberry and one chocolate" she turns to him to check "I mean, you still like chocolate, right?" he nods smirking a little and she turns right back to the teenager "And a couple of fries, please?"
"Right away, Miss Cooper" he writes her order and walks away leaving Jughead speechless and he cocks an eyebrow at her.
"What? I see you already had coffee and I still haven't had dinner. And the best way for you to work is with food" she shrugs and he a laugh escapes from his mouth without him knowing.
Her smile grows bigger at this and be notices her ponytail swinging softly with her face. Her hands goes to her chin, leaning on it and he sees she's wearing a sweater, not pink or any candy color, but still, it seems like he walked in to a time machine. He starts to get distracted just from looking at her and she clears her throat again, blushing and appreciating his attention on her.
"So let's get to it?" she proposes and he rapidly follows her on her what she is saying.
That's how they spent their Saturday night, neither of them concerned of not having anything fun to do or any places to go.
They get so in to each other, they fail to notice Pop Tate, behind the counter admiring those two, being in the same position they were years ago, solving mysteries or just acting like two teenagers in love. He shakes his head with a smile and later, he sends Gabriel with another portion of fries to their table. Veronica was right, he was not good managing places – he would have an ear if she knew he was giving food away for free. But he was sure he couldn't let the chance of seeing two people that still loved each other together pass away and not do something to help them.
He was a sucker for true love.