Thank you for the reviews.

I promise you, you will find out more about why James is the way that he is and what happened with Robert. But all in good time.

And why let up the pressure? Because this is set two days after the last chapter.

So That Is Why

Rachel knew that Eddie was still angry at her. She knew that what had been discovered was a shock and an extremely sensitive subject. It was why she was trying to push out all the thoughts about the baby by trying to find the mother. Because it was easier to think of a mother in distress rather than a dead baby.

But Eddie had a face like thunder as she asked him to deal with the press and she knew that she had to say something. Because they needed to put their personal problems to one side and work together on this.

"Look, Eddie, I get it. You can still be angry at me. But today of all days, you and I need to work as a team. So can you put your personal problems with me to one side so that we can get through this incredibly tough situation?"

"Incredibly tough situation," Eddie mumbled.

"Eddie, is something the matter?"

"Why would something be the matter?"

She sighed. "I get it. I get that it was a shock. I get that I lied to you and I get that it must have been worse to find out that you were a father of twins. But please. Just because I have my… our two, doesn't mean that I can't imagine what this mother is going through."

And there. She had finally thought about it and she tried to stop the thoughts. If she could push out the thoughts, return to her headteacher persona, then she could get through the day. If anything, she tried to focus on Eddie's behaviour. Because she was sure that there was something up.

But she was sure that he had changed and she didn't know why. Maybe it would be something that she would uncover over the day.

"I'm sorry. I'm just being an awkward sod." He said.

"You say that, but I still think you have that heart of gold."

Rachel was sure that she had stunned him for a moment (like she had done that night with the same comment) and it seemed like he had forgotten that he was angry at her as he gave her a small smile.

"And I definitely still can't work you out." She continued.

She knew that it would have been nice if he had said something back to her but she knew that she had to allow him to come back to her. Which is why she allowed him to leave and threw herself back into the paperwork that was waiting for her. Because she had to think of something else. She had to blot it out. Just so she could get through the day.

"I don't like it, Jamie," Amelia said as she reached her brother.

"Don't like what?"

"How… people are saying how heartless Mum sounds."

"Well, I think you are just going to have to take it today."

"Do you think it has hit her?"

"Of course it hasn't. I bet she hasn't even thought about it like that yet." James snapped.

"Sorry."

Amelia tried to tell herself that her brother didn't mean it but she couldn't help but feel stupid to ask the question that she did. She tried to stop herself from holding her sketchbook closer to her chest but it moved slightly and she knew that James had seen when he sighed.

"No, I'm sorry. It's hit me if you couldn't tell."

"Do you think Eddie is still angry with her?"

"Probably."

"Are you?"

"Amelia, it has only been two days. Will you give it a rest?"

There was one thing for sure, it had definitely hit James and Amelia watched him walk off, wondering when he was going to ask her if it had hit her. Actually, she would like it if someone asked if she was okay. Because she might have been honest with them now.

She rested her chin on the top of her sketchbook as she squeezed her eyes closed to stop the tears. Because she was telling herself again that no one cared about her and she knew that it wasn't true. It just felt that way at the moment.

Eddie knew that he had to make it up to Rachel. He knew that he was suffering but there was something in the way that she was being that made him feel like she was holding something back as well. He knew that he would have to explain at some point why he was so angry over her bombshell about her twins. And he was sure that she would understand. Just everything had been brought up again and it was still too raw.

But Eddie found the strength to walk from his classroom and into her office, closing the door behind him to keep the conversation as private as possible.

"Has something happened?" She asked as she looked up from her paperwork.

"I'm already a father." He said, knowing that the easiest thing to do would be just to spit it out.

He watched her as her brow creased before an 'oh' left her lips. Because she knew now that something must have happened.

"I-I maybe could have dealt with… James and Amelia if they weren't… twins." Eddie said. "Just three and a half years ago, I became a father to another set of twins. Michael and Stephen. Only… one died. Cot death. You must know, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. SIDS." He spat the last word out, still hating it.

"Oh God, Eddie. I… That must have been devastating."

"So to find out that… potentially, I have another set of twins, that are grown up and fine was more than a shock. Rachel… I wasn't angry because you didn't tell me. I suppose I am angry that they are twins. That you have both of them."

"I can imagine. I'm so sorry. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without both James and Amelia." She paused. "Which…"

Eddie knew that the only real way to do it was to get out the photos that he had in his pocket. There was every chance that she would hand him one back of Jamie and Amelia but it was the risk that he took.

"That's Michael." He said as he handed over the first picture. He allowed her a moment to look at it. "And that was Stephen."

He watched her look at the pictures and it was clear that she was a mother by the way she was looking at them. She looked up at him and he could tell that she was taking a moment to work out what was best to say.

"I know you don't believe me, but I think that the twins will be happy to find out that they have a half-brother." She said.

"One that they will never meet. I don't see him. Alison won't let me."

Eddie knew what she had said earlier about still not being able to work him out but there was just the way that she looked at him that made him think that she had just read his thoughts and she knew what had happened without him having to tell her.

"It wasn't your fault. Or Alison's." Rachel said.

"You can tell me that all you want Rachel. It isn't what I thought at the time and… I am sure it is what Alison still thinks now."

"You still think it as well."

"I was the one to put him to bed."

"And horribly enough, if Alison had put Stephen to bed that night, then the same thing might have happened. You can't go over the what-ifs. Believe me. It doesn't help."

"You are about three years too late with that advice."

"I suppose I am. I am sorry Eddie."

"But equally, I can't be angry at something that you had no control over either."

"I did wonder how my lie would play out."

"Lie?"

"If you couldn't guess, I wasn't on the pill like I told you. Stupidly, I had forgotten to take it in the past and nothing had happened and I assumed the same would happen the night we had together."

"Right?"

"I assumed that if fate was a thing, that I had been given the twins because I was never going to see you again. That is why I stopped looking for you."

"Still, whether I got you pregnant or not, whether it was twins or just one, there was still no need for me to be angry at you."

"And I get that it was a lot to take in. Even more so when you involve Michael as well. You've missed out so much with James and Amelia. You don't have to with Michael."

Eddie found himself shaking his head. He knew that Rachel didn't know Alison or the problems that they had already faced and the fact that it just wasn't worth it. Because they would end up arguing and Alison would argue that it wasn't good for Michael. He would just have to put it down as another life he was going to miss.

Amelia had seen James but she wasn't completely sure that she wanted to hear what he had to say to her. She had wished that she had left straight for home once the final bell had gone for the day but she had wanted to clarify something with her art teacher, which meant that he could catch her.

"I'm sorry about earlier. How has today been for you?" He said when he reached her.

She knew that James must have slightly expected the wall of silence that he was given. Which she didn't think was a great idea when his temper started to rise again.

"Okay then. Tell me to fuck off or that I was a prick." He continued.

She found herself turning to him. "Okay then, you are a prick. Sometimes when your anger gets the better of you, you are a massive prick who doesn't see past his own emotions to see if I am struggling as well. I get that today might have affected you more because of everything that Robert did but you didn't have to be a prick about it. They were going to be my sibling as well."

He gave it a moment before he said anything. "Feel better?"

Truthfully, Amelia didn't. She felt guilty for saying that all to him and she wanted to take it back. Because she knew the way that her brother was and she knew that most of the time he didn't mean it. But then she tried to remind herself that he had promised her that things would be different and that he would look out for her. She didn't want to tell him that he was doing a shit job, because then he would think that he was failing her again.

So she huffed before she punched his arm as hard as she could.

"Now I am." She said, trying to give him a smile.

James rubbed his arm where she just hit him and gave her a half-smile.

"Look, I'll make it up to you. I think we should find Mum and get home. I think all of us will need it."

If anything, Amelia found herself wanting to stay at school. At least at school, she couldn't do anything stupid, could she?

It wasn't long after James told her that he would make a start on dinner that Amelia found her mum. It was clear that the day's events had taken it out on her mum but Amelia felt like James might have been right and it still hadn't completely hit her Mum.

"I thought you would be home by now." Her mum said.

"Just wondered whether you were ready."

"I'm umm… going out for a drink with Eddie."

"Made up then?"

"For the moment."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"It still hasn't hit you yet, has it?"

"What hasn't hit me?"

Amelia was fairly certain that her mum's superpower was to be able to push aside all her problems to put everyone else first. Which is why it hadn't hit her until Amelia had said something to make it hit her.

"Don't worry. James has been in a bad enough mood for all three of us." Amelia said.

"Please say you two haven't fallen out again."

"He told me to call him a prick so I did. He is going to make it up to me and try and make you feel better in the process."

"Don't worry. I think all men are useless with emotions."

There was a part of Amelia didn't know how much she needed her mum to hold her arms out so that she could walk into them. Part of her just wanted to curl up against her mum's chest and never face the world again. It was how Amelia knew that she was in for a rough couple of days.

"We'll have to talk more later." Her mum said.

"Are you going to tell Eddie?"

"I think that might be fair after what he has shared with me today."

"Which was?"

"Why he was so angry about you two. And that you have a half-brother."

"Really?" Amelia said as she pulled back slightly.

"Look, we will talk more later. Okay?"

Amelia gave her mum a nod before she let her go, hoping that she did share with Eddie.

"I don't know whether I like you this quiet," Eddie said after he had sat down from getting them their drinks.

"Ran into Amelia before we left. She reminded me of something that I have been trying not to think about all day."

"Which is?"

Rachel didn't really know where to start with it all. Because there was a lot to it, even if it was only a couple of years of her life.

"The twins… they haven't really had a… constant male figure in their lives. Dating with kids is not the easiest and most men were definitely put off when they found out that they were twins. But the closest they had was Robert. I'd met him when they were eight but by the time they were nine, we had sort of become a family. And they were as excited as we were when I found out that I was pregnant. But it also hit them as badly as it did me when I lost the baby at 25 weeks."

It was clear that Eddie had caught on the moment she said that she was pregnant. Because it was clear that she wasn't trying to hide a third child from him.

"Would that be why Jamie spent two periods in the cooler?" Eddie asked.

"He is currently making it up to Amelia. So god knows what he has said to her."

"He does seem rather hot-headed."

"That's my fault." Rachel said automatically.

"Why?"

It was on her list of things to say to him. Because she would have to explain why Amelia would jump at the idea of her dad being in her life and why James wouldn't take to him as quickly. It was just hard when she knew that she had managed to protect Amelia from something that she had failed to protect James from.

"It just is. Are we okay?" She said, hoping to move the conversation on.

"How do you mean?"

"Are you okay with the fact that the twins are yours?"

"Rachel, I still haven't wrapped my head around it all yet."

"But are we okay? This isn't going to affect us, even less so when you do wrap your head around it."

"I don't know."

"Eddie, I'm not talking personally. Personally, we have way too much baggage at the moment. Professionally, are you there by my side as my deputy or is our personal baggage going to get in the way of our professional relationship?"

She expected him to come back to her straight away but was glad when he picked up his pint and took a mouthful before he answered her. Because it meant that he had thought about it as he turned back to her.

"You can count on me as your deputy."

"That will do for the moment."