Rey and Finn were in the middle of a long morning of meditation with Luke when her eyes snapped open abruptly. "Luke—"

"Yes, I think you're right."

She scrambled to her feet, grabbing Finn's hand to pull him up as well. "I think Black Squadron is back."

Finn, who was only just consistently sensing mood shifts of people when they were in the same room, went from looking confused to exasperated. Luke had explained to him and Poe that it was possible their own connections with the Force would never allow them quite as much insight into the feelings of those around them, but it was different for Finn to abruptly be reminded of the drastic difference between their abilities. "I swear the two of you forget how not normal that is when you're both doing it."

"Don't you want to go and welcome them back?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course I do." He looked over to Luke. "Can we pick back up after lunch?"

"If you'd like, Finn. I think the rest of Rey's day might be a wash."

They were already nearly out the door when Finn stopped, startling Rey, who was trying to pull him along. But Finn grinned at Luke and said, "Hell yeah, I'm so ready for some one-on-one training."

"Sounds good," Luke called after them, chuckling.

While they jogged through the halls of the base, Finn asked, "So how do you know that they're back?"

It was odd, because Rey wasn't quite sure herself. All she knew was: "I just… sensed Poe again. I'm not sure whether it was him coming out of hyperspace, or coming in to land on the moon, or getting to the base, but I know he's back."

"Weird," Finn said. Rey simply swatted his arm in response.

The hangar was buzzing with activity when they reached it. Aside from the mechanics and pilots milling around – many of whom were eagerly watching outside for the fighters to appear – a medical crew caught Rey and Finn's eye. They stood waiting with an empty stretcher, and they, too, were watching the hangar door.

"Is that for—?"

Rey swallowed and shook her head. "I don't think so. Let's go ask them about it."

But they reached the med crew only seconds before the first fighter zipped into the hangar, and everything moved in a rush after that as Black Squadron flew in, one after the other.

It felt like everyone else was hooked up to headsets, communicating with one another and with Poe and his team, which left both Finn and Rey feeling particularly lost. But Rey's eyes fell on Poe's X-wing the moment it arrived, and as it eased to a halt, she began running toward it.

She was in Poe's arms the moment his feet hit the ground. He laughed eagerly, clutching her tight and lifting her up. "How'd you know we were back? We only just came out of hyperspace ten minutes ago."

Finn had reached them by this point, and he supplied the answer. "She and Luke felt it."

"You felt it?"

"Mhm."

"Oh, I've missed you, Jedi." He gave Rey a soft kiss, smiling against her lips. As they pulled apart, he set her down and said, "Finn, get over here, c'mon." And the two men, too, embraced.

"Did something happen on the mission?" Finn asked. "We noticed the med team and we were worried."

Poe frowned and nodded; as he and Finn pulled apart, he stood back a bit, putting his hands on his own hips to survey the scene. "We were caught in a slight shoot-out and Jess came out of it pretty bad. Nothing a bacta tank won't fix, though."

"Is that where this came from?" Rey rested her fingers on his shoulder, where his flight suit was singed and coated in dried blood.

He made a show of looking down at it as though noticing the wound for the first time. "Kriff, that is new, isn't it?"

Rey and Finn rolled their eyes at each other. She linked arms with Poe and led him away from the fighter, accompanied by Finn. "I think maybe we should get you to the med bay too, Flyboy."

"But we've got to debrief with Leia…"

"She wouldn't like it if you bled all over her floor, would she?"

Poe bashfully offered, "The bleeding's mostly stopped." But despite his weak protest, he leaned in close to Rey, and she could feel him wanting nothing more than to hold onto her—to follow her back home, to follow her anywhere.

Gods, she loved him.

He settled his chin on her shoulder. "I thought I remembered what it felt like to be with you, but kriff, Rey, my head is spinning right now from… all of this."

"Me too," she told him softly.

Because this was different from the quiet way that Rey and Luke orbited each other's thoughts and feelings through the Force. After a week of separation, it felt like Rey and Poe's hearts and minds were colliding.

It felt good.

"Is that my shirt?"

Rey was trying to steer him toward their bunk when Poe got distracted by the top that Rey had left discarded on the desk with the rest of her things when she brought it all back from Finn's room that morning.

"Oh, that? It might be, yes." Poe veered off-course to look more closely, and Rey sighed as she followed him. "Kalonia only let you leave medical because I promised to make sure you got rest after you finished with Leia."

"I'll do that in a second, I promise." He unfurled the shirt, looking over the threadbare fabric. "I made that hole in the sleeve when I was lighting candles for our village Life Day celebration. I leaned over one I'd already lit and didn't realize how close I was getting until it was too late. It was one of the stupider ways I managed to ruin my clothes." Reaching out to Rey, he found her hand and knotted their fingers together. "And you brought it back here."

"I thought it might help me sleep a bit better."

"Yeah?" Poe's eyes shone as he turned to look down at her. "It's almost like you missed me. Did it help?"

She sighed and pulled him away from the desk. "I don't think so, but it made me happy to have a piece of you close by."

"Sounds like I'm not the only one who needs some rest."

Rey raised her eyebrows. He'd sat down in their bunk and patted the empty space beside him. "You're just trying to get me into bed with you."

He turned flustered at once, making Rey's heart swell. "Just… You know I sleep better with you. Just like I know you do with me. And my arm is hurting, and I've missed holding you, and I'd really like to get the best sleep I've gotten in a week."

Well. Who was she to say no to that?

Poe's arm settled across Rey's waist, he pressed a soft kiss to the back of her neck, and she felt a sense of calm wash over them both as one. The only thing lurking was a question at the back of Poe's mind; it was not urgent that she answer it at once, but she still felt it weighing on him that she had not yet brought up her trip, considering that she'd been present while Black Squadron debriefed with Leia and already knew about the specifics of his mission.

"Your dad misses you so much."

His breathing got shallower, although he tried to downplay his abrupt intake of breath. "Really?"

"Mhm. I didn't mean to let him see your mother's ring right away, but it slipped out of my shirt while I was getting out of my X-wing, and the way that he lit up when he realized that you were alive and happy…" She wove her fingers through his again. "I told him so many stories about your missions, he couldn't get enough. And he forced me and Luke to stay with him while we were there."

Poe hummed. "I think that might have more to do with his awe over two Jedi visiting Yavin than with him missing me."

"I think you'd be surprised." She hesitated. "He had me stay in your room. I haven't slept on an actual mattress since I lived with Leia and Han."

"Gods, I miss mattresses…"

"And I brought some koyo juice back with me. For you. Stop, Flyboy, you can have some later," she added, clutching his arm tighter when he moved as though to get up.

He giggled in her ear and then kissed her neck lightly again. "I swear sometimes I dream of koyo juice, I miss it so much."

"You do, I've seen it," Rey teased. Another pause. "Because of him, Luke and I had a conversation about you."

"During which he no doubt referred to me exclusively as 'Dameron' and 'the pilot.'"

Rey rolled over onto her other side so that she could look Poe in the eye. "No, I distinctly remember that he said, 'Poe loves you,' not 'Dameron' or 'the pilot.'"

Poe propped his head up on his wrist, newly alert although his eyelids had been drooping slightly just seconds before. "What was this conversation, exactly?"

"About how you love me. And how I love you, too, but I'm not great about actually saying so."

The corners of his mouth quirked up. "Could you try that again but pretend that it's a surprise when I say it back?"

"I love you."

He squeezed Rey's hand. "I love you, too."

She bit her lip to keep from laughing. "I'm so surprised."

"Yeah, yeah." Poe's expression grew more serious, and his gaze shifted across her face, taking her in. "I know that took a lot to say, so I don't mean to suggest otherwise, but… should we talk about the harder stuff? Because I feel a lot of… a lot, coming off of you from this trip, but I can't really piece through it all on my own."

"I was trying to work up to it," she murmured. "I don't quite know where to start."

Poe's voice was low as he spoke. "Wherever you'd like. Or it can wait, and we can get some sleep." He smiled gently.

"No, I'd like to tell you. I've been bursting to tell you."

Weeks passed.

Rey and Luke spoke very little about what she had learned on Yavin, because the fact of the matter was that they were concerned it was a dead end. Luke had little understanding of what the dark side had become since the Empire fell, so even though they knew that the "thing" that frightened Rey's birth mother might very well be the First Order's Supreme Leader, they had no way of knowing for certain. And even if it was Snoke who had done this to Rey – which seemed feasible enough – their research of the Jedi Texts offered little in the way of an explanation for why.

These fragments of information had shaken Rey to her core, yet she was no closer to understanding what had been done to her. No closer to understanding how to repair herself. Frankly, it was beginning to set in that she was going through the motions, preparing for a confrontation that she couldn't – or shouldn't – have any part in.

Her lingering questions about her curse did nothing to diminish the fact that she began to spend more time with Luke and Leia together, and it made her feel a little more whole. She curled up with Poe at night, sparred with Finn, worked on engines with Rose, argued with the rest of Black Squadron over the merits of different fighters, and she felt whole.

She was beginning to feel that she truly had a family in the Resistance, and in turn, the sense that something had been stolen from her began to fade.

Poe and Rey sparred one afternoon, and then there was Luke, while Rey was helping Poe to his feet and still trying to get her breath back: It's time to go to Ossus.

Rey snapped her head up to look at Luke. "Do you really think that's a good idea?"

"They're doing the thing," Poe muttered to Finn, at the same moment that Finn said, "I swear they don't realize whether they're talking out loud or in their heads."

(This was not true. When communicating between themselves, they spoke aloud for the sake of decisiveness and precision.)

"Sorry, boys, I meant to bring it up to Rey later, but sometimes things slip through." Luke grimaced at Finn and Poe. "I think Rey is ready for her own saber. She probably has been, but it seems foolish to wait any longer, when all available intelligence suggests that the First Order has temporarily slowed down their activity and Rey's strength is only growing with each day."

"It seems foolish to go through that process while we still don't know what was supposed to happen after you found me."

Luke took this in, his frown deepening. The other two men in the room saw the next thing coming: "Could you two give us a moment? It's about time for a break anyway."

Not because there was anything secretive about this conversation. They just didn't need to sit through Rey and Luke arguing.

"We'll go get some tea," Poe offered, with a nod of agreement from Finn. Within moments, they were gone.

Rey crossed her arms and kicked at the floor, wishing that she didn't feel so much like a petulant child. "It does mean something to me, that you want me to build my own lightsaber. But something about it feels dangerous in a way that your training me to use a saber just… doesn't."

Behind this sentiment hid a million fears that she felt reluctant to put words to, as though acknowledging them aloud to Luke would bring them to fruition.

And he could feel it, she felt him feeling it, but he had no interest in prying through her mind to pinpoint the origin of these anxieties. That said, he had his suspicions. He tilted his head to the side and spoke quite gently. "I don't know what a Sith had planned for you, Rey. I don't know what my role in that plan was meant to be. But when you were young, I reacted to that uncertainty by sharing only fragments of the Force with you, and that was a mistake. Because Ben was able to point to that as proof that I was afraid of you, just as I was of him. Perhaps he was essentializing the truth, but there was truth in it. And if he trusted me to love and guide and support him, and I feared his turn toward the dark side, what chance was I giving him to overcome that darkness? What chance was I giving you?"

Luke faltered here. He was closer than he'd ever come to articulating something that Rey had realized only since their trip to Yavin: he had been worried about her proximity to the dark side when he felt her presence in the Force from Ahch-To. He had been worried that she was on the same path as Ben.

"I understand and appreciate your caution," he continued. "But we still know so little. You rightly pointed out that I'd allowed that uncertainty to instill a dangerous fear in me, and I just- I wish you'd see that you're being as unfair to yourself as I was to you."

Rey gazed up at her mentor's face. She wanted to argue with him; it wasn't that easy, she wanted to say. Seeking out the kyber crystal that was most suited for her seemed to have such potential for danger. For whatever power or purpose was lurking inside her.

"So we know that I'm not even the first child that the Sith have cursed with obedience and put in the hands of Jedi for some evil purpose. We know that my birth mother was so afraid of that Sith that she left me for dead. We know that if I faced a Sith in battle, there would be nothing to save me from an order to turn over my saber, or to kill myself with it. And you're suggesting that you train me as though nothing is wrong."

"Yes, I suppose I am. Trying to protect you from your curse didn't work. And after our visits to the Force tree, I feel more certain than ever that I need to do the most I can do prepare you."

"Which includes a saber."

He shook his head just slightly. "Which includes your saber. And the meditation and the work that you'll have to put in to find the crystal and construct it."

This sank in slowly, and Rey bit her lip while she considered Luke's words.

Against her own wishes, she saw a flash of the phantom version of herself from her nightmares; another Rey with a devilish smile, black world awash with a red glow that emanated from her saber.

"Your crystal won't tell you anything about yourself that you don't already know to be true," Luke murmured.

Maybe this didn't quell her anxieties entirely. But with these words, the vision of Rey in the darkness felt a little further away.

It took them several days to scavenge for the other parts necessary to construct the saber, but with Leia's blessing, they began to plan their trip. That said, "Leia's blessing" had… quite a number of conditions.

"Am I to understand that my little brother—" We don't even know which one of us is older. "—thinks that the need to construct one lightsaber is so great that he wants to risk seeking out kyber crystals when we know that the First Order has harnessed them as a power source and plundered multiple moons and planets, stripping them dry to obtain the necessary resources?"

Luke frowned. "The last scout trip to the Adega system was less than a month ago, and they reported that Ossus appeared untouched and unmonitored. It's likely that the planet's terrain is too dangerous for the First Order to see any use in scavenging for crystals there, if they even know about the presence of the crystals at all."

"How about my son? Would he have any reason to suspect that you or Rey might someday arrive on Ossus?"

"That's not where I brought him for his own crystal, if that's what you're asking."

"Well, that is something of a reassurance." Leia's lips were a hard line, her expression appraising, but Rey felt the worry lurking underneath. "I wasn't particularly worried about your visit to Yavin. According to our spy, the First Order believes that we consider ourselves 'too good' to risk innocent lives by building up our forces again on a planet with human inhabitants. But a planet of kyber crystals… I can't shake the feeling that it would be incredibly risky. If you were discovered and, gods forbid, captured…"

She trailed off there, but all three of them knew where she was going.

Both Rey and Luke could point them directly to Ilith, and thus to the very best of the Resistance's fighters, mechanics, doctors… To be sure, they had been accumulating allies all over since the Battle of Crait, but if everyone on Ilith was lost, it was questionable whether those allies would have the resources to mobilize. It could take years for the Resistance to build up its strength again after a hit like that.

And Rey wouldn't be able to refuse if she was simply ordered to reveal the location of the base. It didn't matter that she'd gotten better at resisting—she would have to give in eventually.

Leia inhaled slowly, her expression thoughtful. "A report came in from the spy this morning. I haven't delivered the news to the commanders yet, but I think it provides us with the knowledge we need to plan our final strike on the First Order. Based on that information, we should be able to start mobilizing in about… three weeks. At that point, if you were captured, this base wouldn't be operating with much more than a skeleton crew anyway. It'd be much easier to evacuate, and at that point, we would have cleared out of here soon anyway."

"So you're giving us the okay," Luke said. "As long as we time the trip to coincide with the change in operations."

"Yes, I think I am." Leia contemplated this for a few moments longer, and then another thought struck her, which caused her frown to deepen. "In your training, you've spent some time teaching Finn and Poe to shield their minds from other Force users. How is that going?"

"They're more capable than they used to be."

Rey knew, though, that this wasn't what Leia was asking. She could shield herself from the thoughts and feelings from everyone else on the base no problem, but Poe… "I'd probably know the plan within a day."

"Mhm." The general took this in, glancing over at her brother. "Then I suppose we have two options."

"So either I need to be demoted for the next three weeks, or I can't see you? For three weeks and then for however long you're gone, on top of that?"

Rey heard the hint of frustration in Poe's voice, even though he was trying hard to hide it—went so far as to turn and take a few steps deeper into their room and away from Rey. Gods, this was just reaffirming what she already knew, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt. "Yes. Which I know puts you in a difficult position."

He looked back at her, grimacing. "It's not a difficult decision, if that's what you mean. Obviously I can be out of the loop for a few weeks. Hell, I'll pick a fight with Leia in front of half the base if she feels like it gives her a better excuse to suspend me besides, 'Poe can't keep secrets from Rey even to potentially save all of our lives,' since I don't think that would go over well."

"No?" Rey asked. She smiled fondly and reached out, rubbing her thumb over the stubble on his cheek. "I think people would be more uncomfortable knowing that I can…" she hesitated, and Poe offered, "Read minds?" under his breath, which she ignored with a slight smirk. "Pick up on their general thoughts and feelings than they would be with you not being able to conceal them."

"Maybe so, but still, I don't think any of my squad would let me hear the end of it." He bit the inside of his cheek, considering her. "I'm not bothered about a temporary demotion, Rey, but it worries me that Leia thinks it's necessary. She cleared you to go to Yavin at the exact same time she sent us to take out a First Order outpost, and that went over fine. So if she only thinks we need to be this cautious now, is it really a good idea for you to go to Ossus in the first place? It feels like she thinks your capture is almost inevitable."

Well, that wasn't quite what she expected his reaction to be, although the moment he said it, Rey understood where he was coming from. "You and I both know that the First Order doesn't see Yavin as a threat. Leia's just being cautious since she knows that kyber crystals are invaluable to them right now."

"So you couldn't just… wait to get one until the end of the war?"

Rey felt irritation building in her gut—Poe's or her own or both. "This isn't just about me, Poe. If I can build my own lightsaber, that'll completely change the way that we can train. You were excited about that."

'Ecstatic' might be a more appropriate word. Ever since she told him that Luke wanted to train them to duel as partners, he had wanted to do so, and they had done quite a bit of sparring with wooden practice sabers, but they all knew that there was only so much they could do with only two real lightsabers. This meant that, before Rey and Luke talked to Leia, Poe had been just as eager as Rey for her to go to Ossus; perhaps more.

"I know, I know I was. But it's not… obviously you need to be in top form, but when our final showdown with the First Order happens, I'm probably going to be in the air, not going head-to-head with you against Snoke and Ren."

Her voice was quiet. "I know that."

Whenever the hell that happened. Because Leia had high hopes for whatever she was planning against the First Order, but she was also quite frank with Luke and Rey that this full-fledged confrontation might end in a stalemate, or worse. Or, to put it in her exact words, "I want you to be aware that after you leave, there might not be much to come back to, if the Resistance remains intact at all."

At least if she was trying to construct her own saber, Rey would feel like she was doing something meaningful. In every other respect, she was beginning to feel like she had no use to the Resistance at all.

"Hey, no." Poe grabbed for her hands and held them between his own. "That's not true."

"Really? It might mean something to everyone else that Luke and I are here, but you and I both know that I couldn't actually confront Snoke and Kylo. One of them knows about my curse and the other probably inflicted it upon me. I don't stand a chance. You and Finn have Luke, now, so he can teach you more about the Force than I ever could. And he wouldn't want to face Kylo, but if he had to… he would." She held his gaze tentatively. "That was you just now, by the way, not me."

Poe seemed to realize only belatedly that he had responded to something that she had not said aloud, and he tilted his head in surprise. But he shook his head slightly, as though to catalogue that thought in the back of his mind for later. "You've spent a lot of time working on resisting orders. You'll hold your own against Snoke and Kylo better than you think you will."

"Sure. Just… not well enough for Leia to feel safe with me wandering the galaxy looking for kyber crystals." Her eyes fell to the floor, and she dropped into the nearby desk chair. Her body felt heavy with Poe's worry and with her own underlying uncertainty. "Maybe you're right, and I should just wait. I don't- What the hell is even the point of me trying to prepare myself for a fight? What's the point of me being like this and trying to have any sort of a place in this fragging war?"

He followed her lead and moved to sit down, but rather than grabbing the other chair, he settled on the floor, from which he peered up at Rey. "What do you think the point is?"

Rey's eyes narrowed. "What are you getting at, Dameron? Are you trying to trick me into saying nice things about myself?"

"Maybe." Poe stroked the back of her hand. "If you're having a hard time, though, I'm happy to jump in."

"I wouldn't mind some inspiration."

"Alright. Then I wanna say something that I've wanted to talk through with you for a little while. Could you promise that you'll let me finish without arguing with me, though?"

She hummed. "Not at all suspicious."

"Rey."

"I promise, I promise."

"Very good." Poe scooted closer to her. "I've been thinking about what Kylo Ren said on Tryrti. Obviously we have to take it all with a grain of salt, but I do think you were right when you said it felt like there was some truth to it, just in… a bit of a different way. If you'll hear me out."

"You made me promise to hear you out," Rey whispered.

"Mhm, yes, so I did." Poe shifted to sit on his knees so that he could lift himself up and press a kiss to Rey's cheek. She smiled softly and closed her eyes when his lips grazed her skin. "We're agreed that he probably zeroed in on pushing you not to trust Luke because he sees his distrust of Luke as a big reason for his turn to the dark side, yeah?"

Rey nodded. She had confessed as much to Poe one evening with more than a little bit of anxiety—Luke's betrayal of Kylo was the most final, although not the only, indication of his failure as a Master. If Luke hadn't poured himself into a renewed relationship with Rey, would she be on the path toward the dark side, too? Would she have turned by now?

There were a million factors in Kylo's turn, even if he doesn't see it that way, Poe had pointed out. Just like there are a million factors in your not-turn. In you choosing the light every day.

"But if that's the case, I don't think he would want anything that he said to be a lie. Not technically. Shrouded behind half-truths, maybe, but he would have wanted you to find your way to the dark side believing that he could offer you the honesty that Luke hadn't given you. So if you looked back on that conversation, he'd want it to feel honest."

"What's your point, Poe?"

"Do you remember what he said about your curse? Whatever Sith prophecy he thinks you're connected to, whatever purpose he and Snoke think your curse serves, Ren said that your strength in the Force was meant to help you break it. I think they want you to break it."

Rey began to speak, but then paused, holding off to see whether Poe had more to say. But he gestured her on. "Why would anyone do this to me if the purpose is for me to overcome it?"

"I… don't know," Poe confessed. "But you told me that it wasn't just the Jedi that were proud. That the Sith were blinded by pride, too. Maybe Snoke thinks that only the power of the Sith is enough to liberate you."

"That's a comforting idea…"

Her sarcasm was a poor attempt to cover up the extent of the anxiety she felt at this thought, but Poe saw through it at once, as Rey knew he would. He squeezed her hand tight. "As weird as it might seem, I think maybe it should be comforting. The Sith can't imagine a way for you to save yourself through the light side, but you are very imaginative and very stubborn. If the power is in you to break this curse, I think you'll find it, without the dark side."

She raised her eyebrows. "But what does that mean for me right now? Luke thinks we've done as much for me as we can right now, and if it's too risky for me to seek out a kyber crystal…"

"That's not quite what I said, Jedi, thank you very much." Poe cleared his throat. "It doesn't bode well that Leia is worried about what'll happen if you go to Ossus. I'm scared for you, as much as or maybe more than I'm scared of what'll happen to the Resistance if the First Order captures you. I asked whether it could wait because I don't want anything to happen to you for the sake of building one saber, but if you and Luke think this is the next step in strengthening your relationship with the Force, I want that for you. So does Leia, or she wouldn't have agreed to let you go."

Rey took all of this in. Then, without speaking, she slid out of the chair and sat down on the floor beside Poe, where she mutely wrapped her arms around him.

"I still kind of feel useless to the Resistance," she told him at last. "But I do think you're onto something with Kylo and Snoke. And Luke actually said something similar about the importance of my own training, and when the two of you agree on something…"

He giggled into her ear. "I'm allowed to worry about this, though, right?"

"You better." Rey extracted herself from their hug and tilted her head to the side, taking in his warm eyes. "You should tell Leia that you'll pick a fight with her to justify a fake suspension. I think she'd enjoy the excuse to publicly tell you off."