"She shall never speak to me again." Jaime mourned. He seemed more like a lost little boy, than a knight, or a Kingslayer. Brienne had all but declared her hatred for him, and there was nothing he could do to change it, any of it. He could not turn back time, nor did he have any idea how to go forward.
Tyrion sighed, his face glowering in a pensive frown. "I fear you may be correct, Brother." He agreed "Something tells me that few have ever been granted the chance to restore Lady Brienne's good opinion of them." He conjectured. Jaime's posture fell even more.
Unable to bear seeing his brother in such overwhelming pain, Tyrion wanted to ease Jaime's mind. He hoped that Brienne's rage hid deeper, stronger, more pleasant feelings. "I remember the way she looked at you at Winterfell, even before the two of you..." Tyrion stopped himself for decorum's sake. "Before, you acted upon your love for each other." He smiled. "I have only ever seen one other living soul whose face shown with such complete adoration, as hers did when she looked at you." He almost smiled.
Jaime shook his head. "So help me, Tyrion, if you mention anything about me and that witch of a sister of ours, I will throw you through the window." Jaime promised.
Tyrion nearly allowed himself a good natured chuckle. "Not to worry." He assured Jaime. "That travesty was the farthest thing from my mind." He said with a disgusted scowl.
Jaime gave Tyrion a relieved nod. "Then who is this lovesick fool of which you speak?" The shadow of a grin played at the corners of his mouth through his sadness.
"You, whenever you but think of Lady Brienne." Tyrion affirmed. Jaime replied with an almost bashful blush.
"Mark my words, Jaime." Tyrion contended. "Brienne's love for you is still as strong as it ever was." He said with certainty. "It may be buried under layers of hurt, and shrouded with anger, but a love like that does not simply disappear." He declared.
"I believe Lord Tyrion is correct." A soft, almost mystical voice surprised them from behind.
Jaime and Tyrion turned as King Bran entered the solar, his chair pushed by Ser Podrick Payne. From the utter shock on Podrick's face, and the falter in his step, it was clear that no one had made him aware of Jaime's return to the world of the living. The King's gaze washed over Jaime with as little astonishment as if they had spoken only a few moments before. Jaime realized that Brandon Stark had been well aware that he had not perished in the collapse of the Red Keep.
"Your Grace." Tyrion snapped to attention upon the entrance of the young king.
Jaime repeated Tyrion's greeting rotely. "Your Grace." He stammered slightly. Never would he have imagined he would one day be addressing , as the ruler of Westeros, the same boy he had maimed and nearly killed. Never would he have dreamed that boy, now a man, would regard him kindly, even compassionately.
Next, Jaime's eyes wondered up to meet Podrick's glare. At first a sense of familiar affability washed over him at the sight of the young man he considered a friend. Then he saw the steel set of Podrick's jaw, and the darkness in his eyes. Jaime got the distinct impression that Brienne's former squire would like nothing better than to send him to the Hells for real. He could not blame the loyal young knight.
As of sensing his Shield's animosity Bran turned his head, and without taking his eyes from Jaime, spoke to his trustworthy bodyguard. "Would you excuse us, Ser Podrick?" He said, his words more a command than a question.
"Of course, You Grace." Podrick bowed too rigidly.
"You may take your leave now. You can attend me at the Small Council meeting in a few hours." Bran bid Podrick.
Podrick nodded and backed toward the doorway. He spun on his heels, his head the last part of him to turn. Jaime noticed how his posture squared as he strode through open frame. He also saw the scowling vengeful look that crossed Pod's face as he threw him a menacing glance over his shoulder. He would certainly find no ally in Podrick Payne, not anymore.
Bran waited until Podrick had left to continue. "Ser Jaime." He greeted. "I am pleased that you are at last returned to health. It has been a long journey for you, I am sure." The King said calmly, almost warmly.
"One for which I fear there may be no purpose." Jaime answered solemnly.
Bran sighed, a discouraged shake of his head hinting at his judgment of the shambles which both Lannister brothers had made of the situation. "Yes, Ser Brienne's reaction to your reappearance is unfortunate." The King acknowledged, as if he knew every detail of what had occurred. "However, I do know what other reception you could have expected under such circumstances." His tone reminded Jaime and Tyrion of the reprimands they used to receive from their own father when they had misbehaved as children. "I am sure I do not need to describe how troubling your actions in this matter have been." He announced.
Jaime acquiesced and hung his head. He was more than willing to accept any punishment Bran might see fit. If only some feat could make him worthy of Brienne. If only some act of contrition could prove his love for her. He was ashamed of himself, for everything he had done.
At his side, Tyrion crossed his arms and stared accusingly at his brother.
"Quite troubling." He stated indignantly, nodding his head in agreement.
"Both your actions, Lord Hand." Bran reiterated. At that, Tyrion dropped his arms to his sides, and stood beside Jaime like a guilty child. "Yes, Your Grace," was his only response this time.
Bran turned a serious frown to Tyrion. "I had hoped that you might have delivered the news of your brother's survival to Ser Brienne with a bit more tact." He chastised. "I am sure you can understand how painful this is for both of them, and how much worse your interpretation of my wishes has made this situation." Bran regarded his Hand with disappointment. Tyrion wanted to crawl away. A sentiment made even more distressing by Jaime's suddenly superior scrutiny. The elder Lannister brother, cleared his throat, enjoying watching Tyrion's embarrassment.
"Ser Jaime." King Bran redirected his censure. "I understand that you merely wished to see your family, but you frightened Ser Brienne to death." He admonished. "Imagine her fear at awakening to a cloaked intruder in her chambers, with his hand reaching into her child's cradle." Bran stated in reproach.
Jaime's guts twisted at the thought of Brienne's fear. He would never have meant to subject her to such shock. He had been selfish, and she had paid the price, again. Even through his remorse, Jaime wondered at Bran's description of Brienne and Galladon as, 'his family.' He would have given anything to have it be so, and wondered if perhaps Bran saw something he could not.
"I know you are right, Your Grace." Jaime apologized. "I have no defense for what I have done." He said sadly. "It was desperation that clouded my judgment." He admitted, his eyes never leaving the ground.
"You have my sympathy." Bran told him, sincerely. "But I ask you to please be more judicious in your approach to Ser Brienne, at least for the time being." He suggested.
"Yes, Your Grace." Jaime agreed sullenly. "However, she has already made it perfectly clear that she does not wish me anywhere near her, or our child." He lamented.
Bran was quick to consider Jaime's worry, and mitigate his doubts. "The chasm between the two of you now is certainly not what you had hoped." The King agreed. "However, their are always reasons, for everything." He assured the crestfallen knight. Jaime could not help but recall their conversation at Winterfell, and lowered his eyes, a hint of remorse still blanketing his heart for his actions toward the monarch in the past.
Bran seemed to understand the look which settled upon Jaime's face at the thought, and was quick to move on from painful memories of the past. "Ser Brienne is not yet ready to welcome you back into her life." Bran explained. "However, she still loves you, deeply." He declared, as if he had somehow walked through her innermost thoughts.
Jaime's brow furrowed. "You mean she won't always want to murder me?" He asked painfully.
Bran nearly smiled, and shook his head. "Quite the contrary." The Three-Eyed Raven told Jaime with certainty. "But you must give her time." Bran instructed. "Ser Brienne is a proud woman. She does not easily forgive wrongs." He stated the obvious.
Jaime raised his eyes. "Or forget them." He answered as if Bran was a master of understatement. Tyrion agreed with a heavy sigh.
"Hate is not the opposite of love, Ser Jaime." Bran spoke stoically. "Indifference is the antithesis of affection, and from her reaction I would say that Ser Brienne is anything but indifferent to you." He offered.
Jaime breathed a long and mournful sigh. "I hope you are correct, Your Grace." He said humbly, afraid to hope.
"Be patient." Bran said. "Show her that she can trust you again." He advised.
Bran's suggestion reminded Jaime of the truce he and Brienne had declared at Harrenhal, when he had sworn his trust to her. A wistful, distant look found Jaime's face recalling how it was during their time as hostages at the old fortress that he had realized how very much he loved Brienne. His countenance fell just as quickly when he thought of how long it had taken him to truly give himself up to those feelings, and to where that had led.
"It will be a monumental task." Jaime lamented to the king.
"Perhaps." Bran agreed. "Then again, matters of such consequence are seldom ever easy." He nodded. "You owe it to her." He charged.
Jaime lowered his chin. "That I do, Your Grace." He inhaled deeply as if preparing himself for the task that lay ahead. "I will show Brienne that her hope and faith is not misplaced, and that my love for her is stronger than it ever was." Jaime vowed. "I will give her the time she needs, and I will never leave her side again." He could almost look forward to the future with that thought bolstering his courage. Perhaps, Bran did see some path for himself and Brienne which he could not.
Bran seemed satisfied at Jaime oath. "Very well." He declared. "I am certain she will warm to your efforts, and the rest will come." He presented, giving Jaime hope.
"Until then, Lord Tyrion, have you found acceptable accommodations for Ser Jaime?" Bran asked turning to his Hand.
Tyrion cleared his throat. He had barely had time to get his wits about him after the events of the morning. "I was just tending to the matter, Your Grace." He answered.
"Excellent." Bran replied, an expression of deep consideration settling over his features. "Perhaps you could show Ser Jaime to one the unoccupied chambers here in the Tower of the Hand." He suggested.
For a moment, Tyrion looked stricken. He had not expected his brother would be housed so near to him now that he was recovered. Truthfully, he had not planned beyond Jaime's survival. Seeing Tyrion's obvious discomfort, Jaime almost smiled. He was still able to enjoy watching his brother squirm a little.
"An excellent suggestion, Your Grace." Tyrion conceded.
"Very well, then." Bran declared. "Now, regarding your duties, Ser Jaime." Bran began.
"Duties, Your Grace?" Jaime answered, confused. He had not given thought to anything beyond mending his relationship with Brienne. He certainly as not adverse to working for his keep, but wondered what there would be for him to do.
"Yes." Bran continued, as if he already knew how he would fill Jaime's time. "Lord Tyrion, you have worked harder than any other, restoring the Red Keep and ensuring the well-being of the Realm." He complimented.
"Happy to do so, Your Grace." Tyrion nodded.
"Even so. I will not have my Hand worked to death." Bran said, almost graciously. "I believe you could use an assistant." He determined. "For now, Ser Jaime will fit that role nicely." Bran announced.
Tyrion and Jaime looked at each other, apprehensively. They were close, yes. But work together, and with Jaime as the subordinate? That had never occurred to them. In the few moments that passed between them, Jaime's stance grew more reluctant, while Tyrion seemed to warm to the idea.
Finally, it was Tyrion who spoke. "Another inspired idea. Your Grace." He beamed. Jaime sulked.
The matter had been decided. Bran wore a look of satisfaction as he motioned toward the door. "If you would do me the kindness of finding a guard to push my chair back to the throne room, I will leave you both to work out the details of the assistant's responsibilities." Bran said to Tyrion, cordially.
"One moment, please, Your Grace." Tyrion beckoned as he headed quickly to the door. To his relief, he found a guard patrolling the passageway, only paces from his solar. He bid the armored man to see to the safety of the King.
Before leaving, Bran had one more request of Jaime. "I will see you at the Small Council meeting this afternoon." He said. Jaime could not tell if the King had presented to him a statement or a question.
"Me, Your Grace?" Jaime asked stupefied . "I do not sit on the Council." He reminded.
"At present, no." Bran said, almost prophetically. "However, as Assistant to The Hand of The King, you will want to be acquainted with the business that is discussed there." He informed Jaime.
"Certainly." Jaime answered nervously. He had not thought of that. Paperwork and studies and never been his strength. He hope he had not gotten in over his head. Bran seemed little concerned, as he left the brothers to themselves.
After seeing The King from his solar, Tyrion returned to Jaime, rubbing his hands together with a self-satisfied grin. "Well then, Assistant." He smirked. "What shall be my first order?" He wondered.
Jaime rolled his eyes and gave Tryion a threatening look. "Watch it!" He warned.
Throwing up his hands in surrender, Tyrion's expression quickly became innocent, as if no thoughts but the purest had entered his mind. "Calm yourself." He attempted to placate Jaime's anger.
"Be calm?" Jaime questioned furiously. "How is being at your beck and call going to get me closer to Brienne?" He moped.
Tyrion eyed Jaime in disbelief. "You heard King Bran, didn't you?" He sneered. "Your presence is expected at the Small Council meetings." Tyrion's face lit up. "Just who do you think will also be at the Small Council meetings?" His brow shot upward in anticipation.
Jaime's face relaxed. His eyes almost seemed to dance. He knew his presence would be an unwelcome sight for Brienne, but at least he could be near her under the auspices of doing his duty. She would be unable to refuse his attendance, and he could at least be close to her. He could watch her, study her, perhaps come up with a better plan to gain access to her, and to rebuild her trust. At the very least, he might in someway begin to prove his devotion to her. For the first time since he had regained consciousness, Jaime felt that he might actually have a future.
Ser Podrick Payne hurried across the courtyard of the Red Keep. He was glad that King Bran had not required he stay in the same room as Ser Jaime. Pod was unsure how he could have restrained himself from sending the man who had hurt his mentor sprawling onto the ground with one powerful strike. He wondered if the King had sensed his rage, and had sent him away to avoid just such a scene.
His thoughts were spinning out of control. The man who had been thought dead for over a year, suddenly standing alive and well in the very place he was said to have lost his life. Worse, he was the man who had broken Ser Brienne's heart. The one who had taken advantage of the woman who had taught Podrick to be a knight, had given him his place in life. Jaime Lannister had made Ser Brienne believe he was true to her, then he had left her alone to bear the bastard child of the disgraced Kingslayer, dishonored herself by Ser Jaime's actions. Podrick raised his chin in pride to think of how Brienne had overcome those obstacles, and thrived. He would have expected nothing less from her.
Podrick knew that Brienne had truly loved Ser Jaime with all of her heart. He had seen that between them long before they had admitted their hearts' desires to each other. Ser Jaime had left his evil sister, and journeyed to Winterfell. He had given Brienne every reason to believe that he had chosen her, and that they would spend the rest of their lives together. That was what made the Kingslayer's betrayal all the more heinous. Brienne had been blindsided.
The urgent squint of Pod's stare became a glower as his mind ventured further into the time at Winterfell after the battle, to those months which had been the hardest on Brienne. During those days just after Jaime Lannister had abandoned her, she had worn a valiant face of resolved strength. It was only those closest to her, Queen Sansa and himself, who perceived the small changes in her mask of apathy that told them she was barely able to maintain the appearance of moving on without the man she loved. The sound of her weeping each night through her tightly shut door, as he had secretly checked on her, still tore at Podrickks heart.
He was proud he could be there when Brienne had discovered that she would bear Ser Jaime's child. Podrick recalled her hidden fear as she carried the babe. Even though facing dishonor and ridicule, she had never once considered taking the moon tea, or giving up her child. She was determined to bring her babe into the world, and raise her son or daughter to be brave, strong, and honorable. All the things in which he now considered Ser Jaime Lannister to be grossly lacking.
Podrick bristled at the memory of the vile things he heard whispered behind Ser Brienne's back, as her body had grown, and after she had delivered her babe. He had not spoken of it to her, but had sent many of those sons of dogs to the Maester to treat their wounds when he was finished with them. It had been he who paced a groove in the floor outside her chamber door as Lady Brienne had struggled to birth her child. Where Ser Jaime should have been.
The fact that Jaime had foresaken not only Brienne's love for him, but also his renewed honor and purpose simply to restore his twisted relationship with the monster that was his own sister, could not be reconciled in Podrick's mind to the noble knight he thought he knew. He had admired Ser Jaime for the courage to turn from all he knew and follow his heart to the woman who was more worthy of love and esteem than anyone he had ever known. Pod felt as if he were somewhere between a defensive son, and protective father when it came to Brienne. He could not abide seeing her torment, and was willing to do nearly anything to those would cause her pain.
So deep in thought was Podrick that he was at Brienne's door before he realized it. He took a moment to draw breath and compose himself before knocking. He knew not what he would say, but wanted the news of Ser Jaime's return to come from him. He swallowed his nerves, and his anger, and rapped solidly on the door.
After a few moments the timid small voice of the Septa who cared for Galladon answered through the still closed panel. "Who's there?" The girl called.
"Ser Podrick Payne to see the Lord Commander." Pod answered confidently. He imagined Brienne was just on the other side of the barred entrance.
There was no reply. The door simply opened immediately, and Podrick stepped inside. His instincts had been correct. Brienne stood directly before him, Galladon secure in her arms. The casual acquaintance would notice nothing amiss in her countenance. However, Podrick knew her too well not to see the uncharacteristic nature of her demeanor. She was tense, and Podrick could tell she had not slept. She clung to Galladon as if he were the only thing that made sense to her in the world.
"Podrick." Brienne greeted, warmly if a bit stiffly. She was clearly preoccupied. She lowered her chin and gestured to the Septa, who bowed in understanding, and left the room urgently, giving the them the privacy to speak openly.
He was unsure how much Brienne already knew of what had transpired, but felt it his duty to impart the revelation to her. "Lord Commander." He nodded, and followed her further into the comfort of her quarters. "I have come from The Hand's chambers." Podrick informed Brienne, flatly. "I fear I just be the bearer of news." His tone masked the gravity of his announcement.
"I know, Podrick." Brienne turned with a heavy sigh. Her glare left nothing to be mistaken. He realized that she was well aware that Ser Jaime lived.
"You know?" His brow furrowed. "How? When?" Podrick stammered through his confusion.
"Lord Tyrion imparted to me that Ser Jaime has been here in the Red Keep all this time." Brienne told Podrick. "He described that his brother was gravely wounded in the collapse, and had been recovering ever since." Brienne shoved the gruesome image of Jaime lying injured in the bricks from her mind, and could not keep a sneer from finding her face, as she imagined how Jaime must have clung to Cersei, sheilded her. She grew resentful upon the thought that he must have been devastated over the deaths of his sister and their child. The notion made her hold Galladon tighter.
"The Hand of the King suddenly decided to tell you this news?" He was shocked. "Would you not have been the logical choice to hear it first?" He frowned in confusion.
Brienne chuckled disdainfully. "Ser Jaime made his appearance here in my chamber last night." She reported.
Podrick was instantly on alert. "He was here?" Pod asked, his hand traveling instinctively to the hilt of his sword.
"I awoke to him standing beside my bed, his hand in Galladon's cradle." Brienne nodded slowly.
"In the darkness, in the middle of the night?" Pod's concern grew deeper. He saw the Lord Commander shutter still at the memory of the shock.
"I knew not that it was him, at first, until he spoke." Brienne told her former squire. "I nearly ran him through." She recounted. Podrick noticed the distant, pained look in her eyes.
"What did he want?" Podrick continued, trying to determine Jaime Lannister's purpose for his unwelcome visit.
Brienne shook her head. "I do not know." She admitted. "I made him leave before he could say anything." It was not exactly true. His plaintiff plea for forgiveness had been running through her mind all day.
"And he left?" Podrick asked, wanting to ensure that the safety of Brienne and Galladon was not in jeopardy. "Without dispute?" He questioned.
Brienne's expression was as confused as Podrick's. "Yes." Was all she answered. There now seemed to fear that Jaime should have come to her with malice in his thoughts. He had not tried to harm her or Galladon. Something inside Brienne told her he would not hurt either of them. He had retreated when she demanded it. It appeared that all he had wanted was to see them. As if sensing her confusion, Galladon stirred in her arms. She moved the babe to her other shoulder and settled him. Podrick regarded the infant with a sweet smile. He cleared his throat, almost reading the reaction on Brienne's face.
"Are you...alright?" Pod questioned, uncomfortably. He knew Brienne well enough to know that she would never admit an emotional reaction to the very things that affected her the most. He knew realizing that Ser Jaime lived must have shaken Brienne to the core, he was also positive she would not show it.
Brienne straightened, and stiffened her stance. She held her head high and presented an air of detachment. "I am quite well, Ser Podrick." She assured him. "Ser Jaime's return changes nothing." She assured him. "I have made a life for myself and my son. There is no place in it for the past." She determined, nuzzling her babe closer to her neck.
Podrick gave her an understanding, and considerate look. He knew that she would be steadfast in her declaration that her life would not change, even if she did not believe it herself. "What if Ser Jaime does not hold the same wishes?" Pod asked haltingly.
"That matters not." Brienne emphasized. "I have already informed Lord Tyrion that his brother need never make attempts to approach me or Galladon." She assured him. Podrick doubted that a simple warning would be enough to keep Ser Jaime away.
"And..." Podrick paused. "If he does not heed your words?" He did not mean to press her, but he wanted Brienne to realize that keeping The Kingslayer at a distance may not be as easy she thought.
Brienne did not budge. "Then, I will protect us." She asserted.
Podrick considered her words, and her pain. He knew that Brienne could easily take care of herself. However, he did not wish to see any further distress added upon that which had already suffered. His thoughtful concern turned to a deadly glare. He would do anything to protect Ser Brienne and her son.
Taking a step forward, almost as if volunteering, Podrick laid his hand formally upon his sword, and stared at Brienne. "My Lady." Podrick began bravely. "Say the word, and The Kingslayer will not live through the night." He vowed.
For a moment, Brienne could not speak. She was touched by Podrick's devotion to her and her child. She was also desperate that he not make a hasty mistake that would cost the young knight his future. "Podrick." She began warmly. "You have made me more proud than you could ever know." She boasted. "No one could have asked for a better squire. Now, you have become an accomplished warrior." She said, remembering how diligently he had stayed by her side, never once foresaking her, even when her dishonor threatened everything for which she herself had worked. Her face softened to think of the man he had become. So confident and self assured. Worlds from the boy who had left Kings Landing with her so long ago.
"You are more than my former squire." She declared warmly. "You are my friend." Brienne told him earnestly. "I would never ask that of you." She swore. Podrick lowered his head, not wanting her to see the emotion that choked his expression.
"You would be executed." Brienne said, shuddering at the thought. "I shall not risk your future, all you have accomplished, and all you will achieve to avenge a wrong visited upon me." She said. "I will not allow you to risk your life. Not for me." Brienne determined. Pod lowered his eyes at her caring.
"I do not want you to ever speak of this again." She demanded. "Promise me." Brienne beseeched.
Pod nodded his reluctant agreement, still wishing he could find a way to take the weight of the discovery of Ser Jaime from her mind. "Yes Ser." He agreed. "I give you my promise." He capitulated.
"Very well, then." Brienne brightened, satisfied. "I will see you shortly, in the Small Council chamber." She offered as Galladon began to squirm in in her arms, fussing for his midday meal.
Podrick bowed and then snapped to attention. "Yes, My Lady." Brienne walked him to the door to see him out. Podrick followed her reverently.
Once the door was open, Brienne stood blocking his path for a moment. She looked at him graciously. "Thank you, Podrick." Brienne said softly. He acknowledged her gratitude with a heartfelt dip of his chin. It was not only his messengering the news of Ser Jaime that she appreciated. It was his unwavering allegiance and support that she recognized. There was no need for her to say anymore, he understood. Podrick then stood straight and noble in his golden armor. He gave one final glance, as if reminding the Lord Commander that he would fulfill any demand she placed upon him without question. Then, Podrick turned and quietly left Brienne to her own thoughts.
Brienne secured the door, and held her babe close to her. Her mind replaying the events of the morning, and the previous night, she made her way to chair by the hearth. Brienne barely noticed her path. As she looked fondly into the face of her child. She recalled how angry she had been upon realizing that it was Jaime, alive and well, who had stood at her beside in the darkness. She heard all the unanswered question, and felt her determination burning within as she had bid Lord Tyrion to make it clear to Jaime that she never wanted to see him again.
As Brienne relaxed into the chair and took her babe to her breast, other images played so clearly upon her mind. She felt the moment of wonder she had known when she had knelt upon the stone with Jaime in her bedchamber only a short time before. She had, for just a moment, been relieved that had not perished. For a brief instant, she had pictured once more, a life with him. The one she had wanted when he came to her at Winterfell. The one he had taken from them. It had been a sweet dream, for a while.
Brienne knew that Podrick had meant every word of his threat against Jaime. She had seen how the boy had rallied around her, and seen to her every need in the months that followed Jaime's departure. Pod had been a true champion. Some hardened part of her deep within, had wanted to accept Podrick's offer, and let him have his revenge upon the man who had torn her heart to shreds. However, Brienne knew she could not let that happen. She looked down into the face of her babe, Jaime's son, so tiny and innocent, and realized what had caused her to stop Podrick's angry pursuit. The realization hit her like the tons of bricks that buried her child's father, and nearly took his life. Brienne could not bear the thought of Jaime dying...again.