A/N:
HELLO!
Happy Birthday to the most versatile shounen MC, Gintoki! As a celebration, I'm posting the final chapter of this story on this special day. Yes, the story where Sakata-kun barely appeared and the story that focuses on our favorite emo edgelord, Takasugi. Ha! A troll gift for the best troll (lol) I still luv u Gin-chan! Hmm, shall I make a fic for you Gin-chan? ;) (lol) I wish Gin-san's enjoying lots of strawberry milk and sweets today~
Anyway! I can't believe that we've reached the end. Especially for such a random fic like this! Honestly, this story wasn't supposed to be this long; but somehow, a lot of ideas and scenes came popping in my mind along the way. I mean, I'm surprised, myself, that I wrote a lot for something that began as a very dumb and crack concept, which would probably make Gorilla-sensei laugh at how absurd it is (lol). I initially just wanted to write something based from the scene of the Joui4 visiting a red-light district. Then I decided to make Yoshiwara as that red-light-district, since I enjoyed the Yoshiwara arcs so much. Then I thought of Seita's biological mom. Then I looked at young Shinsuke's pictures. Then I also looked at Seita's pictures. Then I saw it.
Green.
(Lol! I just had to make that dramatic, sorry.) But yeah, their eyes were both green. And that's like the only connection they have. So I don't know why I even pushed through into actually creating a fic. Not to mention, it's even a story that's mostly told from the perspective of such a complex character (yes, I'm talking about you Bakasugi-kun. You're such a hassle to write. Lol luv u tho!). But! I'm so glad I didn't give up and continued this story, because you guys always make me happy whenever I read your comments about the chapters, scenes, and characters; and whenever I see you read and follow this silly creation of mine. I'm super grateful to all of you T-T
To theEmpress09, aww I missed y'all too and I'll definitely miss y'all after this ;A; Again, writing Takasugi and his naturally angsty self is such a pain so please Bakasugi. Please stop being emo and simply enjoy drinking Yakulk with Seita (lol). With that, I just wanna say thank you again for always giving feedback about this difficult man. It certainly helped me in keeping him in character. Now as for Seita finding out the truth, I won't spoil it to you and just let you figure it out through this chapter ;) Lastly, I'm truly thankful for your reviews, because those really pushed and motivated me to write more.
To aoutre, OMG hi! Welcome to this fic :) I'm glad to see you're liking this story; and I hope you're liking the OC so far? And yes, you've read right...Takasugi is a father here (lol). It was hard to write him, so thanks a lot for letting me know I wrote this well! Also, I'm just gonna share that I enjoyed writing Kamui and his craziness. Lastly, ikr, why did Gintama end :( There's still the movie next year tho. But y'know, I'm conflicted. I'm so excited for it, but a part of me wants it to be postponed because I'm not ready yet for the finale (lol). Well, I guess, all things eventually come to an end, like this fic.
To Mitsuki, I agree, he deserves to be happy! Thanks for saying that :) He deserves to drink all the Yakulk in the world with Seita~ I'm seriously praying we get a Gintama extra or OVA or special or something, where everyone's interacting with each other, and everyone's being happy and wholesome. Please Sorachi-sensei! That would be totally amazing.
To TheInsectPillar, oh my, thanks for still dropping a review, despite not having access to your account T-T I hope you can log into your account now tho! Yeah, I actually had fun writing him as a dad (even if it was difficult). Takasugi is a tsundere dad (lol). There'll be some adorable moments in this chapter too, so hope you have fun reading this :) I'm gonna miss y'all too~
To all the faves, follows; and to all of you dear readers and maybe even future readers, thank you sooooo much and I pray you're all doing fine! Moreover, I sincerely hope to hear about your thoughts and feelings about this chapter, or even this story, as a whole. I'll still reply to you all :)
Phew~ Sorry, this was a very long A/N, but it's the last one so yeah ;A; Btw, this is also the longest chapter (lol). Oh! Just a heads up and some additional information, the last statement Shinsuke says in this chapter is actually a line in the last poem of the real-life Takasugi Shinsaku. Furthermore, I placed some lines taken from another poem by Takasugi Shinsaku at the very end, as an extra. I personally like to consider those lines as Shinsuke's message to Seita and my message to you all, as well~
Finally, I wish you all enjoy this finale.
THANK YOU!
:)
Green.
The color of life.
When did it become the color of life? Who decided that it is the color of life? Why is it the color of life?
The thing is, no one knows. It just happened. Somehow, it simply became a universal fact, that everyone accepted – including Takasugi Shinsuke, because he didn't really care about something so trivial, to even bother ponder about it.
Not until someone mentioned how a person like him, who has nothing but darkness and death in him, actually carries light and life in him through his very own eyes, the windows of his soul.
"Green", she said,
"the color of life."
...
"Shinsuke?"
His lone eye fluttered open, only to realize how he almost fell asleep, if not for her warm breath against his bare chest and the heat emanating from her equally bare body. Letting her know that he's awake, he hummed.
She traced little circles on his side, "How do amantos look like?"
At that, he considered ignoring her and her feather-like touches; and going to sleep, because why would she ask such a random question about those sickening creatures right after a very passionate moment they had. It was just unexpected. However, noting her serious and curious tone, he couldn't help but adore such genuine interest and answer the woman, who had no choice but to live underground, anyway.
"They're hideous. They're like disgusting combination of animals and beasts."
A light giggle escaped her, and this tickled his skin.
"Your friend from that night told you that Yoshiwara's connected to an amanto group. Did you find out what group?"
Friend?
Ah, Sakamoto, huh? He wondered if 'friend' was the right term for the brown perm head idiot. The same goes for the two other idiots, the one with the silver perm and the one with long black hair. Catching himself in the middle of going back to unwanted memories, he quickly pushed those thoughts away, as he focused back on her inquiry.
"I still don't know."
Setsuna suddenly shifted on top of him; and he could clearly see her ash eyes light up, while sharing an idea, "Hinowa might know some things since she's one of the high-ranking courtesans. Shall I ask her?"
Honestly, he was distracted by her appearance – slightly messy chestnut tresses, still-flushed face, and the reddish love bites marking her his – that he didn't really pay much attention to her offer.
"There's no need."
Stormy orbs slightly darkened, and he figured she was worried for him again.
"Why do you keep on coming back when you know that this place could be a territory of the enemy?"
Maybe, he should've just said yes to her offer, so he wouldn't have to face such questions, he himself, couldn't exactly answer.
"I could really be a spy, you know."
Except they both know she wasn't.
"Why do you trust me?"
Ah, does he?
Again, he wasn't sure. Thus, he decided to do what he does best. Flipping their position, with him now hovering over her, he responded by returning the question.
"Why do you trust me? I pushed your kanzashi against your neck that night."
"But you didn't kill me."
Unlike him, she has answers.
Unlike his uncertain green, her gray was steady.
Fixing his gaze, he reasoned out, "Because an idiot interrupted. Also, because you said something stupid."
She blinked, "The one about your green eyes?", then furrowed her brows, "That wasn't stupid. I was merely stating facts."
"I have light and life?"
"Absolutely. I've been living in a place of eternal night and darkness, that I'm bound to search for light. Thus, like a moth to a flame, I'm naturally drawn to light – the sun's, the moon's, and even yours. That's why I'm sure that those, who have been flying in the darkness, would also be drawn to your light."
Beginning to be tongue-tied at her compelling argument, he tried another retort,
"Green is the color of life?"
"It is."
"If that's the case, then the world truly is uninteresting."
And that was the only counter, he had thought of. Great.
It was a weak rebuttal, as compared to hers, that he could simply scoff. Although, as soon as he scoffed, he felt her knees brush his inner thighs, "Are you implying that I'm boring?", followed by both her expression and tone changing into challenging and suggestive, "Am I starting to bore you, Shinsuke? Hmm?"
How things began heading towards a dangerous and sensual direction, was something he found fascinating. Setsuna, after all, has the skills and experience of a courtesan, to make this happen. Given their current intimacy and the growing tension in the air, the male teen has no choice but to give in to pleasure – admitting to himself that they're both crazy moths attracted to each other's lights.
"Setsuna..."
Smirking, he let out a low growl, "I could kill you anytime. Right now or in your sleep."
Slim arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, as she showed him a grin, that was strangely innocent and mischievous at the same time.
"Then I won't sleep...Let's not sleep."
...
Indeed, he stopped sleeping, as his eye opened.
What he saw was not her beautiful face nor the familiar ceiling of her room. Instead, he saw stars scattered up the evening sky – fully waking him up from his dream, which was overly vivid; and it's certainly because that dream was an actual memory. He recalled that those events happened summer last year, around his birthday. Feeling the night breeze growing colder, he was reminded that it was already autumn – meaning that it has been two years since he'd first met her, and a year since he'd last met her.
"Huh? What 'ya talkin' about, you lolicon!"
"I'm not a lolicon, I'm a feminist."
After hearing such petty statements and lots of boisterous laughter in the background – with a melody from a shamisen serving as an accompaniment – he looked at the direction of the camp, from his position on top of the rocks, which wasn't that far from their camp.
Watching the group of males and the sole female huddled around the bonfire reminded him of the fact that he was not alone anymore. True to what Setsuna said, people did become drawn to him; and the new Kiheitai is now formed, with its members being those who have seen darkness and have nothing to lose. Finally, he has found the right people to be beside him and to lead the Kiheitai with him; and those were the feisty blonde teen, the deaf manslayer, and the weirdo strategist. It's merely been days since he met them, and now he's going to spend the rest of his days with them, as they all take this world down.
He looked up at the black sky again, wondering if Setsuna was with the child up there, and was witnessing all of this with an approving expression on her lovely face.
"Soon", he muttered under his breath.
The Kiheitai will soon be larger, and it will soon obtain it's own ship and artillery. Drawing out his sword and pointing it to heavens and the whole universe, he swore to use it to destroy everything his teacher has left.
Presently, the universe determined that it would be fun to see that same sword on that same child's lap and within the reach of the so-called 'sky' – clear and in the form of chestnut-hair and green eyes.
Yeah, fun.
Ironic how the blood-stained blade, the vengeance-filled samurai has been using to cause death, was currently in the clean hands of a life, he has supposedly created.
Again, so fun.
Before things could get much more messed up, Hinowa emerged from the inside of the shop then wheeled herself towards them. Consequently, he lifted the sword and prepared to put it back in its sheath, before the de facto ruler of Yoshiwara could even have terrible ideas and hunches, accuse him, and make this trip way more fun.
"You're seriously not staying for the night?", the kid inquired, but the Joui rebel flatly proceeded in sheathing the sword and doesn't reply, because the former promised that his question about the swords was supposed to be his last.
"You're weird Tōgyō-san. Y'know, men visit Yoshiwara at night then go by morning. Do you need help in finding a girl? I can help – Ow!", he yelped after getting hit on the head by the lady of the place. The brat deserved that, for all the trouble he caused him.
"What's that for, mom?", he complained, but merely frowned once said mom gave him a look.
While it's not surprising for a prepubescent – who has been residing in a red-light-district and has courtesans as mothers – to be aware of the affairs of men and women in this place, Takasugi's interest was piqued on how the minor would exactly help him. Obviously it wasn't an offer he would accept, but he was intrigued, nonetheless.
Cursing himself for failing to resist his own damned curiosity – fuck, maybe, he was transforming into a moth drawn to this child's light – he gazed back at those big lenses and raised his brows. The other reacted quickly, with his face glowing up a level, apparently recognizing his unspoken query.
"I know almost everyone in here! Go tell me what kind of girl you're looking for. Anyone's available."
Well, it was good to know that the youngster was a fast-learner, seeing how he was now able to pick-up what he meant, without him saying anything.
"Hmm, but except the Hyakka and especially, Tsukuyo-nee, because she likes Gin-san."
Now that might be a useful information.
For the first time in years, he heard the name 'Tsukuyo' last month from a Kiheitai member's report about the ruckus in the palace. The name didn't exactly ring a bell, not until the member said that she's the leader of Yoshiwara's Hyakka, leading him to recognize the name and believe that Tsukuyo was the same person Setsuna considered as the 'moon.' According to the reports, she allegedly fought alongside Gintoki and Nobume, against the Naraku. Back then, he was too occupied with his plans that he dismissed such detail. However, after Seita shared such knowledge, he could guess that maybe, if the silver permhead bastard was miraculously not being an utter fool for once, then one of the reasons behind Gintoki's association and attachment to this city was indeed because of a woman; just as he hypothesized previously. Because in the end, this place belongs to women.
"Oh and of course, except my mom", the kid uttered in a tone of finality.
Since his blade was totally secured and sheathed on his side, he made a motion to stand up when the boy said something that made him pause.
"Unless...Tōgyō-san, do you like my mom?"
What.
"Seita!", Hinowa scolded straight away.
Well, that was a tricky question.
His answer would vary depending on which mother was the other referring to. Although it was plainly evident that the kid meant the female physically present here, Takasugi mischievously and sadistically thought that it might be entertaining to watch the kid be baffled and alarmed, if he replied 'yes, I do'; then watch the lady be panicked, as well, predictably trying her best to persuade her so-called son that 'Tōgyō-san was just kidding', while also making sure that he wouldn't realize the guest actually meant his biological mom.
Fortunately, he caught himself, before he could even attempt doing something irrational and pointless. Unfortunately, him freezing on the spot, and his lack of response – more like delayed response because damn, kids sure are impatient – led to the other's misunderstanding and terrible assumption.
"Ehh..?...Eh?!"
"So you do like my mom!"
"No way!"
"Wait!"
"You have to go through me first!"
At the boy freaking out, he saw Hinowa just sighing frustratingly behind the former. Azure irises then fiercely met his olive one, demanding him to fix this situation.
And that was enough for him to snap. Curse those irritatingly relentless orbs.
Fate was crazy for all of these bizarre events.
But, Takasugi Shinsuke, was crazier; and he was going to show fucking fate and that annoyingly defiant woman in the wheelchair what a madman is capable of doing.
He shifted his focus back on the child.
Green met green.
Openly smirking, the one-eyed man challenged, "Is that so? But what can a runt like you exactly do?"
Blatantly ignoring the ravenhead's disbelief and piercing glares, visible from his periphery, he waited for Seita's reaction. Alas, his reaction didn't disappoint. Seita slammed his tiny fists on whatever space left between them on the bench, and argued, "I can fight you know!"
Olive lenses appeared to be serious and threatening, but by how ridiculously big those lenses were, the adult wanted nothing but to keep on teasing. Now that he's in this situation, he muses if this was how his own master had felt, whenever his younger self proudly challenged the older man.
Well, it's not like he would get any confirmation from his sensei.
Pushing away futile thoughts, he went on with a counter, "Hmm, but you can't even properly hold a sword."
"T-then I'll ask Tsukuyo-nee, Gin-san and the others to teach me!"
"Oh? Asking for the help of others, are we?", he further provoked, "How can you protect your mother if –"
The petite one stood up at that, cutting him off effectively.
"I can protect her!"
Oh.
Did he go overboard?
"I will protect her and this city."
At that moment, he could see it.
Not an eight-year-old. Not a naïve boy. But a person, who's witnessed hurt and terror.
A warrior.
Just like him. Just like her.
"I wasn't able to protect grandpa and my biological mom. I was even the cause of her death.."
The main difference was that those two emerald irises were more determined and radiant, just like the sun – fixed at the sky, shining down on all.
"But, that's why I will protect my mom now and everyone else who have protected me."
The strong flame in those eyes were too painfully similar to Hinowa's. And that was when Takasugi realized, he has seriously turned into a reckless moth flying extremely close to the flame, that it begins to burn him. As a result, this ignites and triggers something within him.
"...even if you're against someone who wants to destroy this world?"
"Yes, no matter who they are."
"Even if it's the exact same world, that took your mother, grandpa and everyone else from you?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Because the world is beautiful."
.
.
.
Huh?
What is this brat saying? What nonsense is this brat spouting? Why did he state that like it's the most obvious thing – something as clear as day?
He's not enjoying this.
He hates how he's getting scorched by hearing direct and certain answers from this kid, just like what Setsuna used to do. He hates how he, who remained on his seat, is literally tilting his head up to meet this child's gaze – as if he was the smaller one out of the two of them. He hates how he's staring at this boy's knowing and resolute eyes – as if he, the war veteran, was the younger one, the less-experienced one, and the more immature one for loathing the world, that stole everything from him.
"In all...of this darkness..", the eight-year-old suddenly started; and the young broken man felt his heart leap at those overly-familiar words – making him release the clenched fists, he didn't even know he had.
"Wait what's next again?"
The other's expression abruptly went back to it's original childish one – with rapidly blinking wide orbs; scrunched nose; and brown strands falling a little to one side, as his head titled on the side – apparently trying to remember something, " – darkness and..."
"..Ah!", the boy exclaimed before staring straight at his lonely orb again.
"In all of this darkness and death...there will always be light and life in this world."
.
.
.
The feared terrorist was rendered speechless.
That line was too frighteningly familiar, that he instantly knew who Seita was quoting, without the latter telling him. Having an idea on how the rest of the statement would go, a part of him wished to cover his ears, and maybe, just leave. The other part of him, however, wished to further listen and stay.
.
.
.
But Seita, who was clueless to the bittersweet memories and conflicting emotions that were currently drowning Takasugi, was the one in control and had no problems going on, "..like the.."
And to make things worse, Hinowa joined in; and together they recited like a prayer, "..flames of candle wicks, the sun, the moon.."
The pair spontaneously beamed at each other, with the raven-haired courtesan cupping the chestnut-haired boy's face.
"...and this boy's green eyes."
.
.
.
Ah.
Setsuna did it again.
That woman was unfairly too good with words.
Too poetic. Too dangerous. Too naïve.
Yet somehow, she's always sincere and confident of her statements, that he usually finds himself convinced – as though deep down, he hopes to believe that her ideas and principles could be real or true someday.
Her words were like a drug, addicting – making him crave for more and driving him insane; yet at the same time, keeping him sane, as he occasionally catches himself holding onto her words to push himself to live, survive and move forward.
Her words were like a flame; and he was undeniably a foolish moth desperately drawn to that flame.
And now, at such bright scene in front of him, he has perceived another form of light.
"Yay! We got it, mom."
Seita cheered and giggled, along with Hinowa. The mother-son-duo then faced their visitor again; and the difference between their expressions was striking. Frankly, Takasugi didn't know how he looked like right now, but he was sure he managed to hide his inner conflict, and stay composed. It's just that the highest-ranking courtesan was inconveniently sharp to notice his distress, as shown by the worried look she was giving him. On the contrary, the youngest among them was oblivious.
Sporting a dignified stance – with his light-green yukata gently fluttering with the spring wind, matching the green of his animated eyes; and with both short arms folded on his small hips – the petite chestnut proudly declared,
"Tōgyō-san, my mom Setsuna told that to everyone, when I was born."
The way her name left the child's lips sounded like a lullaby, releasing the man of the tension that's been killing him inside. In addition to that, he saw that same sun, who's always been directing harsh rays towards him, emitting kind and warm rays towards him. She has a smile – a bit reserved but genuine, nevertheless. She was also nodding behind the boy, probably trying to affirm the boy's claim – as if the dark-purple head even needed a confirmation, when it's such a giveaway that Setsuna would totally say all of those.
What's this about? Why is Hinowa acting less hostile towards him? Does she feel sorry for him?
Just when he was calming down, the lady in the wheelchair does something that irks him. Worse, the brat heedlessly followed his so-called mother's example and does something that tenses him up again. The kid nonchalantly slid himself next to him, definitely ignorant of the term 'personal space', as he proclaimed, "I'm that boy!", before moving even nearer to the wanted Joui leader's face and comically widened his already-wide eyes,
"See, my eyes are green."
Strings of curses registered in the criminal's troubled brain, as he helplessly froze on his seat.
Sneaking a glance at the woman behind the brat's face, he signaled her to do something urgently. What he got in return was her initially blinking in surprise, only to be followed by her giggling behind her hand.
Why is she being like this? Shouldn't she stop her son? What the hell happened to 'I'll protect him, no matter what' and that crap she previously spouted? The fuck is this bitc–
"Oh! Yours is also green."
Simultaneous to Seita excitedly blasting that fact directly to Takasugi's face, Seita even had the nerve to reach out and touch said face with both of his little and warm palms.
What–
The youngster energetically beamed , "Your eye is also green, Togyo-san! That's cool! Mom, look– ", only for his energy to abruptly drop, as he paused all of a sudden.
– the fuck?
The other was seemingly studying him. He was still fixed on his good orb– as though he's trying hard not to mind the bandages one bit. Now that the dark-haired man thinks about it, the brown-haired child never really ogled on the bandages nor even asked him why he has bandages. It was odd, considering how curious kids could be. Hell – he had experienced how curious this specific kid was. So, why?
Maybe, he's actually dumb and just noticed the bandages now? Maybe, despite being uninformed of the concept of 'personal space', he is somewhat informed about certain manners? Maybe, he has spent some time with his precious 'Gin-san' – that weirdo – that he has already witnessed a lot of abnormal things, that he doesn't really care anymore? Or maybe, he, given his own sad past, has become matured in a young age, to know how difficult it is for most people to open about their pasts?
He peeked at the lady for possible explanations, but she appeared just as puzzled as he was.
Again, Seita doesn't give him a chance to process everything, as he proceeds to confuse both the adults further, by retracting his hands and shyly averting his gaze from the samurai.
What exactly did the boy see in his eye?
It almost seemed like the child has discovered something.
No.
There's no way he has learned the truth just like that. That's unbelievable.
Right?
"...ah, sorry..", the eight-year-old eventually muttered.
To put it bluntly, such apology didn't really enlighten the wise young man. Instead, it contributed to the list of things he was speculating on. Not to mention, the spot in his face – where thin and warm fingers once rested – was still burning. Alarmingly, he didn't entirely consider it as an unpleasant sensation.
And this is when it dawned upon him, that all of these were signs – warning him that he's approaching the light and flame too rapidly; and he's about to get blinded and burned, if he doesn't stop trying to get nearer.
An image of the late Kiheitai member, Okada Nizou, then flashed in his mind, prompting him that he shouldn't completely throw himself to those flames. Because he would end up getting torched just like what happened to the blind swordsman, who had been further blinded by his newfound leader's light, that he surrendered himself to the flames and let Benizakura consume him.
Deciding that he had already enough playing with fire, he finally stood up.
At his motion, the prepubescent's energy somehow came back, "Oh! Tōgyō-san.."
Raising his brown head up and meeting Takasugi's gaze, as though he forgot that he just avoided Takasugi's gaze earlier, the child wondered, "..you're really leaving?"
The dark purple-haired man resisted the temptation to roll his eye and scoff at such question, given how he had attempted leaving this place countless of times already (including all his failed attempts back when Setsuna was still alive). Alternatively, he patted Seita's chestnut head, in response. Before Takasugi could even see Seita's reaction, he already turned his back on the latter.
As expected, the kid was startled, proven by how it took a few seconds for him to recover and speak.
"Bye-bye Tōgyō-san! You'll come back right?"
Coupled with the nostalgic feel of chestnut tresses on his hand, that last line from Seita also struck deep in him and evoked a feeling of déjà vu within him. As a result, he halted in his steps and turned his head to the side, mimicking what Shouyou-sensei used to do in the visions appearing in his mind. To complete the package, he curved his lips to that same subtle and sentimental smile. Wistfully, he decided to tell a lie in this land of lies and deceit.
"When I do come back, you should be stronger, Seita."
Surprisingly, the name rolled out of his tongue smoothly.
"O-of course! I'll be strong enough to defeat you! If you win, I will let you have a date with my mom. But, only if you win, okay? I'm not gonna make it easy for you, Togyo-san!"
Facing front again, he resumed walking. He briefly raised his right hand for a slight wave, as he playfully teased one last time.
"Fine. I'll just have to personally arrange the date with your mother..."
'...in the afterlife..', he mentally added as an afterthought through his deviant mind – which was capable of transforming a joke that's supposed to be wholesome to a reality that's morbid.
Unlike the depressed samurai, Seita lives up to his name, and is clear and vibrant. Based from the shrieks and other sounds of shock and opposition by the child, he could already imagine the way the child's face freely contorts.
An amusing sight, indeed.
But he doesn't rashly turn around.
He just continued to disappear not just from the eight-year-old's view, but also from the eight-year-old's life.
Escaping from the paradise, men refer to as Yoshiwara, has proven to be very difficult. It was as if the women cast spells on men, which would eventually poison them – as price for men robbing them off their freedom and causing them to live in hell.
Takasugi believed that Setsuna, on the other hand, was different.
What they had was different.
Because they're both warriors, connected by their fight for freedom.
Still, Takasugi was not far off from the others. Like other men, he just can't seem to release himself from the red-light-district. Just how many times did he swear to set off, only to come back again?
This time, however, he'll absolutely leave for good.
While exiting this place, his mind was occupied by the things the kid has said, which made an impression on him.
The world is beautiful?
No.
The world is rotten.
It might be because the young boy still have both of his green eyes. But for him, who had lost a green eye, he just couldn't see the world as beautiful.
Not anymore.
Not even after meeting people with untainted names meaning 'pure world', and 'clear sky'. Not even after experiencing first-hand such purity from a child – a bundle of joy and life. Not even after taking in poetic words and pleasing lines.
The black beast of vengeance might have calmed down for a moment; but it's still residing in him. The beast will continue to be noisy – demanding him to cause nothing, but rampage and death.
Because this world is cruel.
It just won't relieve him of all his sorrow and pain, that easily.
And that's why he just kept walking forward. As soon as he reached the surface once more, he spotted the same bridge – where he attempted to slash himself, during that dreadful summer eight years ago, when he learned how he had helped in creating someone's life, only to find out that this had consequently cost someone else's life. It was that moment, which further solidified his belief, that he was meant to protect nothing, and solely destroy everything.
Because this world is impure.
It won't allow him to change his twisted mindset – this world forced him to form – that simply.
Meeting Seita at this point, wouldn't really do much anymore. Like the temporary and fleeting affair he had with Setsuna, his interactions with Seita were supposed to be in passing, anyways. Every memory he had in the underground city was meant to be forgotten and be buried underground, in the first place.
Hence, he doesn't halt at the bridge and just moved onward and traveled further away from Yoshiwara
'Setsuna, it's already too late'
He murmured, almost sounding like an excuse and an apology.
The very second the samurai has assassinated Sadasada, he has become one step closer to his goal; and has now reached a point of no return. He can only advance. He can't stop now. He can't throw away everything he has done, because the black beast inside of him is still whining – still craving for more.
Besides, he's not the only one fighting in this war. He wasn't alone anymore.
A lot of people, those who didn't really have anything left and who didn't have much reason to live anymore, chose to follow him because of his vision, goals, and promise to wipe out this world. All of them have hopes for themselves too; and he, their leader, can't simply abandon them and let them down, just because he had found a possible reason to live.
That would be too irresponsible and selfish of him. No. Right from the start, he doesn't deserve thinking about living a peaceful life. Most importantly, he was different from Gintoki and Katsura. Those two were blasphemous fools, who fucking pisses him off, because how dare they live in this corrupt world, in such a carefree manner – as if nothing happened, as if their fallen comrades were forgotten...and as if Shouyou-sensei was not wrongfully judged and murdered by those scums and crows, who're currently alive and ruling this despicable world in their filthy thrones.
This is exactly why he should stop being a moth chasing for the newfound light and heat emitting from Seita.
Because he, himself, is a light.
It's just as she said. He has light in him. And with plenty of moths already following his beacon light, it's only proper to play the role of the light and commander, and fulfill the promises he had made.
Because that's also what he believes Setsuna would want him to do. Because she understands. Because he promised her that he'll win his war.
Tomorrow, his plans will definitely resume.
This world is about to be destroyed.
By his own hands. By his sword. By his own brand of samurai.
For everyone. For sensei. For himself.
Then, with his lone green eye, he will watch as everything goes down.
The burning world will be enveloped with thick toxic smoke? He will take a long drag from his kiseru.
The cries of agony during the pandemonium will be extremely loud and haunting? He will strum the strings of the shamisen.
The following serenity in the air and the pools of blood everywhere will be the affirmation that no one else is alive? He will pour himself a cup of sake.
Afterwards, he can lose whatever light and life is left in him, at long last. He can finally close his remaining green eye, and grasp darkness and death.
Only then can the beast completely calm down and find eternal rest.
Only then can he see a world so beautiful – a world so pure.
Only then can he say that he had won this war.
"Shinsuke-sama!"
That all-too-familiar excited scream, accompanied with a slim figure running towards him, was what welcomed him, as soon as he arrived at the port in Edo, where their ship was docked. On his way back, the sun has already set and the darkness of the night took over; yet, the bubbly blonde still had somehow spotted him easily. In typical Kijima Matako fashion, she immediately clung to his left arm.
"How was your trip? Are you hungry? Are you tired?"
Rather than replying, he merely stared ahead and observed the Kiheitai from his position. Most of his men were busy transporting boxes of supplies to their ship. Takechi was having a conversation presumably with the head of the suppliers. Meanwhile, Bansai was behind the lolicon advisor, but was probably listening to some songs from his headphones. Despite that, the Kiheitai commander knew that the musician slash manslayer was alert to the faintest sound of danger and threat. Behind those sunglasses, were orbs that were undoubtedly watching both the organization's leader and sole female member, from a distance.
The crimson bullet loosened her hold on his arm, but not fully letting go, while informing him, "Some of the materials haven't arrived yet, so you could go and take a rest first, Shinsuke-sama. We'll take care of this!"
That optimism and confidence, that funnily resembled the son of Yoshiwara's, urged him to eventually face her. Alas, her irises were blue and bright – almost like the sun of Yoshiwara's – except that Matako's had nothing to lose, just like the rest of the people fighting with him. The way the blonde gazes at him is secure and hopeful, willing to follow him in his cause and ready to push through with his plans – a moth drawn to his beacon light.
And this is why he smiles.
He doesn't let it linger, though.
As fast as lightning, he shifted his gaze to the evening sky; and he could sense the woman beside him do the same, as she released him from her grasp. She doesn't abandon his side, however – gesturing that she's patiently waiting and listening, as usual.
Seeing that there were stars tonight, he recalled that time he had camped with the newly formed Kiheitai; and truthfully, he couldn't help but feel glad on how far their group has come – literally far enough to travel beyond Earth and go closer to those stars above.
Analyzing mentioned stars, he came up with the conclusion that the light of the stars in contrast to the dark sky was reminiscent of the light in Setsuna's dark gray eyes. It was as if she was truly watching him from the heavens, while he brings this world down with him to hell.
Reminded of Setsuna's ash eyes, he pondered if it's solely through her lenses, that one can see the light and life in his green lens.
"What do you think is the color of life?", he decided to probe.
Without tearing his lens off the heavens, he could clearly feel the other rejoice at him finally speaking.
"Uh...isn't it...green?", she replied hesitantly at first. Although, when she appeared to finish rummaging her brain, her tone became more assured.
"Oh, that's right! Green. Just like your eye!"
Ah, so Matako could see it too. Did Seita see it, as well? Was he the unique one who fails to see it?
Perhaps it was just natural that he coudn't see it. After all, he knew far too well that because of the things his green eye saw, is seeing, and will see, a lot of people died, is dying, and will die.
'But this green would lead you all to your deaths', was the counter-argument his wits came up, for the blond-haired woman's statement. However, he decided not to voice it out, predicting how Matako's response would go. Besides, it was useless to tell her something she already knows.
Instead, he asked more questions –
"Then, isn't it boring that this rotten world is still filled with green? Why don't we paint this world red? Why don't we spill lots of different colors and create a masterpiece?"
– except these questions were intended to be more rhetorical, as he didn't exactly give her a chance to answer.
Focusing his single green eye to a single bright star, he ultimately vowed.
"Let us make an uninteresting world interesting."
...
「 While death and life have always been as light as dust.
In human affairs, there are partings, and you have been kind;
That we could chat for half a day shows a karmic bond.
Now I shall leave, and tomorrow go where the road takes me. 」
...
[END]