author's note: thank you so much for the lovely reviews, the reads, the follows and favorites!

Sasha had to blink few times to realise what was going on. Her water visibly broke, and she was such in pain that she was barely able to move herself out of the bed. The damped, and soaked bed. Some of the folders were totally ruined, and she had no ideas where was her phone. She saw her satellite phone, but what Tom could do for her right now ? Plus, she didn't really know the time of his location, and it would just freak him out.

Another contraction, another kick that felt like a knife in her lower abdomen, and her ribs. That was so painful she had to take a deep breathe, having the sensation of suffocating, unable to properly breathe because she had to focus too much on how to decrease the pain. She groaned again in her pillow, her body slowly getting ready for the birth while her brain was still registering she was going into labor.

A knock at the door cut her out of her thoughts. "Sasha ? Are you sleeping?" a small voice said behind the door.

Sasha had to take it upon her, because right know she wasn't able to deal with something else than the pain in her body. She tried to hide the stained sheets with a blanket, crawled - hardly - and stood up to open the door. Ashley was waiting on the other side, and as important as she wanted to tell Sasha something, the second she saw her, her mind forgot about it.

"You okay ?" she asked, looking at Sasha's outfit, noticing her wet sweatpants - and the grimace badly hidden on her face. She had no ideas of what was going on but it certainly wasn't the moment to have the chat she hoped for. In reality, she had been up because of the urgent need to use the bathroom and on the way back to her room, heard Sasha's painful moans.

As much as she wanted to answer that yes everything was ok, Sasha couldn't lie, and stayed quiet for a moment, wondering what was the best option. She knew she would need medical assistance soon enough, and that was one of the things she wasn't able to provide herself, like most of the time. The insisting look Ashley glanced to her finally cut her thoughts, the girl was smart, and she wouldn't judge her. Why would it she ?

"Ashley please could you get my phone from downstairs ?" her voice was strangled, by the pain and - even she didn't want to admit it - the fear.

She didn't ask why, knowing that something important was up. Ashley ran downstair to get her the phone and brought it back to Sasha, who hadn't move from the doorstep, looking even more miserable. "Is the baby coming Sasha ?" she asked, worried and panicking a bit. Usually when Sasha wasn't here, her dad was handling every situations, and vice versa. But this time Sasha had a problem, and she didn't now - either Sam - how to help. "What do I have to do ?"

"Yes." she responded in a strangled voice. Like for a tactic mission, Sasha tried to mentally organise how everything would happens. Thankfully, their neighbour was here so she could ask her to watch after the kids, and she could probably go to the hospital. But it was the middle of the night, she didn't want to bother her. And like if she was understanding her dilemma, Ashley took the decision for her, even if it was a school day. After all what happened, one day off wouldn't kill them.

"We will go with you." And before Sasha could say a word, she was already gone to her brother's room to wake him up, and then get ready to leave.

Sasha felt another contraction, and some pressure on her bladder, making her almost fall onto her knees. With all the courage and force she had, she managed to go back into their room to get slightly change, and call 911, knowing she wouldn't be able to drive by herself. And no way she would risk the kids lives. Laying on their bed, eyes closed, minutes seemed to be like hours, she couldn't focus on something else. No one ever told her that labor would be that painful, and the only person she needed wasn't here. At some point she felt weight on the mattress, and little arms hugging her tight.

Sam.

He was such a loving child. "Its okay Sasha , you'll be fine…" he whispered to her ear, like she or his mom used to comfort them when they weren't feeling well. By this time, Ashley arrived in the room with the paramedics, who immediately took care of Sasha, lifting her up on the stretcher, asking her the basics informations, knowing they had to hurry because labor seemed to be well started.

"You're almost 9 cm dilated. Labor had probably already started earlier in day, did you feel some contractions ?"

Sasha was in the maternity department, in bed, with a monitor and lot of machines around her, very lost. She hated hospital because in her work this place was the meaning of two things: death or injuries. "I hum…. Didn't really focus on it." she couldn't lie, of course she felt them but thought it was nothing. Until tonight.

"Where are t…. my kids?" she asked, sickly worried.

"They're in the kid's area, we have a special room, they can sleep there and have some food if they want to, don't worry. Focus on your breathing and on this baby, it's all gonna be alright. Anyone you want us to call for some support ?"

She shook her head, sadly. "No." She was about to give birth all alone and this thought was killing her. That was killing her from the inside, and she didn't know to do it, birth preparation ? That was a couple thing, so she didn't even try to go. Reading books about babies or this kind off stuff ? She'd rather read military report, - she just wasn't ready.

She knew it.

And a few hours later...

"Push, Come on Sasha, you can do it!"

Sasha only focused on this word, unable to hear what people were saying around her. Both of her hands were gripping the bed's sheets, and her vision started to get blurry. She tried to push as hard as possible but had the terrible feeling that nothing was happening. She felt like something was breaking all of her bones from the inside, and it was more painful than anything she'd experienced before in her life. Pushing one, two, three time before she would get out of energy, she couldn't help her head to fall back on the pillow while the sweat would run over her forehead and down her cheeks.

I can't.

She knew it would have been mentally easier with Tom by her side, and suddenly realising she was on her own gave her some courage. She had to do it, for the baby, for Tom, for the kids. And for her, she really wanted to meet the baby she'd been carrying for almost nine months. Few more pushes and she felt a weight slipping out of her body, followed by liquid running down her legs. A little cry got her out of the bubble she tried to stay in during all the birth, and when the midwife put the baby on her chest, she couldn't hold back her tears. Relief and happiness.

"Congratulations, it's a beautiful little girl!"

Looking down at her newborn, Sasha kissed the top of her little head. "Hi…." she whispered, firstly hesitant to touch her, like she was afraid of breaking her small body. But then, she slowly hold her close, closing her eyes, exhausted but happy. "I'm so happy to meet you…. and you have no ideas how pleased will be your daddy."

The nurse then took away the baby for some cleaning and for all the post-birth tests, just to make sure everything was okay. After the post birth treatments, they got Sasha back into her room to let her rest a bit, it had been a rough time and she needed some energy. Few hours later, when Sasha opened her eyes she saw Sam and Ashley sat on the chairs in the back of the room, playing a game on their switches. She tried to lift her up on a sitting position, feeling sore everywhere.

"Sasha you're awake!" Sam ran to the bed, hugging her tight, making her wince. Ashley joined them and hugged her too, she wasn't as demonstrative as her brother but the feelings were the same. She was done being bitchy with every girlfriends her dad would bring home, not that he got a lot but now, she'd understand that no one - at least Sasha - would take Tom away from them.

"You look better" she said with a soft smile, letting her breathe. "How do you feel ?" wondering how it was, to deliver a baby. Seeing her back few hours ago, it looked so painful and didn't inspire her to have kids - later. "Is it….painful ?" she asked almost hesitantly.

"It's worth it." Sasha smiled, ruffling's Sam's hair, who was now laying next to her. He'd missed her, even during this small amount of time, scared because they were on their own. When Tom was away, Sasha was their pillar. "Ready to meet your new sibling ?"

They both looked at her with shining eyes, stars dancing into their gazes. Sam lifted himself on his elbow, so excited. "So ? It's a boy ?" he asked, dying to know.

"Sorry buddy…" she answered, hoping he wouldn't be too disappointed. Sam's expression faded a bit, clearly disappointed. But when he looked up, Sasha saw something else into his eyes.

"So can we see her ? Just to let her know we're her new brother and sister." he asked, jumping out of the bed, making his way to the door. Ashley looked as excited to meet her, giving her brother a smirk because she had been right since day one. Sasha nodded, and tried to get up but she felt like her legs wouldn't support her weight. It felt like her bones had just been replaced by cotton.

"Go ahead guys." she told them, knowing it was probably against the rules to stand up now but she really wanted them to meet their baby sister. Going out the room, she quickly asked an intern where was the nursery. She then joined the kids, and behind the big window they all saw the babies. One of the nurse - instead of reprimanding Sasha for being up - brought the little girl near the window so they could all see her.

Both of the kids opened their mouths like fishes. They were looking at her like the most precious thing in the world, not jealous at all, - for now. She was so small, her skin was very pale like Sasha's and she had very thin dark hair, not enough to cover her entire head. She was sleeping, wrapped in a white blanket, unaware of the three looks focused on her. As happy as she was to see her daughter, Sasha was barely able to stay up, feeling sore in her lower abdomen and between her thighs. It reminded her when she got shot in Asia, bullet went through her ribcage and thanks to the vest, she survived, but she would always remember the doctor telling her she was a crazy miracle. And now, years later, the miracle was juste before her, in a cradle.

"She is so tiny! When can i hold her ?" Ashley asked, looking at her sister, then Sasha with bright eyes.

"I want to be first!" Sam protested.

"No!" his sister immediately retorted.

"Don't worry guys, you'll both get to hold her equally." Sasha said before they would start a fight. She thought it was cute to see how they already were well taking their role of older siblings. But there was something missing. Someone was missing and it broke her heart. She wished Tom could've been here for the birth of their child. The one they excepted so much, the one that could have been born on the Nathan James if Mike hadn't take things under control.

"What's her name ?" Sam asked, looking up at Sasha, impatient to know how she would be called so tomorrow he could announce it to all of friends and teachers. And only a soft smiled answered him.

"Excuse me sir, there is a private transmission for you on channel 16." Tom turned around to look at the young lieutenant behind him. He followed him to the room and once he got all alone, he picked up the calls. "Nathan James, this is CNO actual."

"Glad to finally hear your voice, Captain Chandler, right on schedule."

He swallowed hard, immediately recognising the voice. It took him few seconds before being able to speak out loud. "Sasha I….what's going on ? Are you and the kids alright ?" he immediately asked, fearing that something had happened.

"Calm down sailor, everything is fine. I wish we could have a conference chat instead but it's still better than nothing huh? Kids are alright, they miss you a lot. And so am I." she paused, feeling an overwhelming feeling growing bigger inside of her. "I just wanted you to know that someone is looking forward to meet you…."

"And i miss you too babe, more than anyt…..what ? What did you just say ?" he interrupted himself, not sure he heard her well. It was too soon, she still had at least three more weeks to go, it wasn't possible. Only her sweet laugh responded him and he had no difficulties picturing her, on the phone, smiling and laughing, her eyes brighter than ever. Damn, he was missing her so much.

"You heard me well, your 5.5 lb/19 inches daughter was born very early this morning, she is healthy and beautiful, and cannot wait to meet you." she said, knowing it would make him the happiest, and wishing she could have send him a picture of this little beauty they'd created together.

Tom was speechless, fixing at the wall before him. He was a dad again, Sasha had just gifted him the most precious thing, his emotion was very hard to control. And everyone was aware that Tom Chandler liked to have everything under control, all the time - always. The seeds were finally secured and they were heading back home, he didn't tell her yet because he wanted to surprise all of his family once they'd reached . Danny and Miller had some scratches but they were thankfully fine, so was all the crew. Tom couldn't be happier, another mission successfully done, and he was about to get reunited with all his little fam.

"I…." he finally managed to say and she could hear the emotion strangling his voice. Some tears were streaming down her cheeks, because they should have been together for this moment. "So you cooked us a mini Sasha…how is she ? And what about you, are you alright babe ? i'm sorry i wasn't with you." he apologised, knowing births were very painful, and knowing Sasha had been scared as hell. She didn't tell him but he knew her too much, he had been reading and understanding her since day one in Annapolis, and that's an habit he'd never stopped.

She took a deep breathe. Sitting on her hospital bed, Sasha was resting a bit, still sore. In the back of the room, Sam and Ashley were sleeping and next to her, the baby was slowly awakening for the first meal of her life. "She is so tiny, she has the same skin and hair as mine but she has your nose. And her eyes are as deep as the ocean with a little shade of turquoise…." she whispered.

"I'm so proud of you sweetheart." he said, trying to picture the newborn in his head, looking forward to hold her, remembering when he was talking to her when she was in Sasha's belly. During their forbidden nights in his cabin, he used to wait for her to be asleep, watching her and enjoying simple moments with his child to be. And now, she was there, their forbidden miracle.

"Kids and nurses were asking about her name, do we still agree ?" she asked. They had talked about names for both genders, and it took so much time for them to agreed on the perfect one. With Darien, Tom didn't encounter difficulties but Sasha was a hard one and declined almost all of his list, and it drove him crazy.

"But you still love me." he could still hear her voice and see the little smirk on her face the day she made this comment. Yes, sometimes she was a pain in his ass - probably like him to her - but he loved her more than anything, and he wouldn't change a single iota of her. "Yes we do."

She smiled and turned her gaze to admire the beautiful human beside her, it felt like this name was suiting her so well. And like she wanted, it was sweet and badass at the same time. "I have to go, i think your daughter will be hungry soon enough and i have my post birth cares. Tom, things are good, considering everything they're real good. I'll call you soon. I love you."

He chuckled a bit hearing about his daughter, still unable to fully realise it was true. "I love you too, be safe babe. Tell the kids i love them." and then he hanged up, staying still for few seconds before exiting the room and make his way back to the bridge.

"Did the communication room centre has just changed and is now located on the other side of this vessel ?" Mike teased him, putting his binoculars down, already having a pretty good idea of who called. "Is everything alright ?" he asked, hoping she was fine. He cared for her as well, not in the same way as Tom, but over time they'd become more than just work colleague.

Tom got a little closer so what he was about to say would stay between him and Mike, not that he didn't trust his crew but that was his private life, and he didn't want to share everything, he had to keep it as professional as possible. Even if they all knew about him and Sasha. "Sasha gave birth to our daughter this morning."

Oh. Mike looked at him and immediately felt the proudness in his friend's voice. He gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder, clearly happy to hear this kind of nice news. "Congratulations! So! how should i call the newest addition to the Chandler?Cooper's family ? You know the tradition, so she could get her a special mug with her name on it like we did for Ashley, Sam, my girls and Lucas." Tom looked at him, remembering the day they offered these dumb but fun mugs to their kids, at a big barbecue party. Kids were so amazed, treating them like the most precious thing in the world. The simple and little things that would always made them smile during rough times.

"Peyton." - And now it felt so real.