Author's Note: At long last, the long-awaited conclusion to Part 1 of Steven Universe: Alternate Future is upon us! This may seem like an innocuous love letter to the mockumentary genre (I even watched This is Spinal Tap on HBO Max for inspiration), but the ending will change everything you will see in this chapter! But I'm through being dramatic, let's boogie!
Synopsis: A Black Rutile and her partner White Topaz want to get answers from Steven.
Cast:
Zach Callison as Steven, Onion
Estelle as Garnet
Michaela Dietz as Amethyst, Ocean Jasper
Deedee Magno-Hall as Pearl, Black Rutile's Pearls
Uzo Aduba as Bismuth
Jennifer Paz as Lapis Lazuli, Zuli, Mean Lapis
Shelby Rabara as Peridot
Kimberly Brooks as Cherry Quartz, Jasper
Ian Jones-Quartey as Snowflake Obsidian
Michelle Maryk as Little Larimar
Amy Sedaris as Teal Zircon
Aparna Nancherla as Nephrite
Grace Rolek as Connie
Crispin Freeman as Doug
Mary Elizabeth McGlynn as Priyanka
Tom Scharpling as Greg
Zach Steel as Ronaldo
Eugene Cordero as Jamie
Joel Hodgson as Mr. Dewey
Reagan Gomez Preston as Jenny, Kiki
Brian Posehn as Sour Cream
Lamar Abrams as Buck
Matthew Moy as Lars
Kate Micucci as Sadie
Alastair James as Rainbow Quartz 2.0
Shoniqua Shondai as Sunstone
Della Saba as Aquamarine
Charlyne Yi as Eyeball
Jinkx Monsoon as Emerald
Christine Pedi as Holly Blue Agate
Hayley Kiyoko as Morganite
Olivia Olson as Black Rutile's Citrines
Featuring Noël Wells as Black Rutile
And Lauren Ash as White Topaz
Steven Universe: Alternate Future
Part 1, Chapter 8: Black and White
"Is the camera ready, Topaz?"
"It's ready, my Rutile!"
"You idiot, you forgot to turn on the lens!"
"Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, my Rutile, let me fix that!"
A camera was turned on inside a black-colored dropship, where a matching-colored Rutile in a green visor and white cape sat down in a captain's chair, confident and charming. "Hello, universe!" the Rutile greeted. "My name is Black Rutile, and welcome to Eye on Era 3, the special interview show where we discuss with Gems about the changes a certain Steven Universe brought to our proud culture!"
"And I'm White Topaz!" the Topaz operating Black Rutile's camera turned the lens to herself and cheerfully waved to the audience.
"Uh, Topaz, over here." Black Rutile ordered.
"Oh, sorry!" White Topaz muttered and turned the camera back to her superior.
"Anyways, we've traveled across the stars to chat it up with all sorts of Gems." The Rutile continued ecstatically. "From Pearls free from slavery, to proud Emerald pilots! Agates with no one to order around, Lapis Lazulis thinking they're lost in the world, and even a few fusions here and there! But today, we're gonna get answers straight from the mouth of this so-called "new Pink Diamond" himself!" she stated, making air-quotes while calling Steven the new Pink Diamond.
"My Rutile, we are closing in on Earth." A Citrine piloting Black Rutile's ship announced. "Is there any good spot you'd like to land?"
"Let's try that Little Homeworld place I've heard so much about." Black Rutile suggested. "We're bound to get tons of special guests there."
"Yes, your clarity." The Citrine complied, and she returned to her station.
"In case you were stuck in a Kindergarten for the past couple hundred years, Little Homeworld is where tons of Gems formerly corrupted by the Diamonds at the end of the Rebellion have made their home." Black Rutile narrated over footage of Little Homeschool. "The number one hotspot of this little bit of home is Little Homeschool, where Gems from all over come to learn how to mingle with the life on Earth and let go of the old ways."
"Hey, you think maybe we could go to that place, BR?" White Topaz grinned eagerly.
"Don't forget about our plans." Black Rutile said under her breath to her Topaz bodyguard. "I mean, we should be nearing Little Homeworld any minute now, so stay tuned!"
Gems began to gather when Black Rutile's ship made its landing in Little Homeworld, and the landing door opened to reveal its owner and her sidekick strolling out.
"Oh my, we already have quite a crowd here!" Black Rutile laughed into a microphone. "Now then, I'll pick a few lucky Gems from our audience here to answer some questions about their experiences on Earth." Looking around, Black Rutile managed to pick out Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis Lazuli from the huddling Gems. "Ah, you three, over there!"
"Us?" Lapis asked.
"Could you care to tell us how life has been on Earth for you?" Black Rutile asked, sticking her microphone out to the trio.
"I've actually been on Earth about as long as Lapis here." Bismuth answered, gesturing to Lapis. "I was one of the original Crystal Gems under Rose Quartz, chosen because I wanted to build whatever I wanted, with no uppercrusts to order me around! But my methods of dealing with the enemy was a bit more extreme than what she was used to, so Rose took one in particular a bit personally and had me poofed & bubbled. In hindsight, maybe Rose was worried that her cover would've been blown."
"As Bismuth said, I was on Earth for a very long time." Lapis began speaking into the mic. "I was supposed to be there for only a little bit to assist in terraforming, but then I got caught in the war and was poofed before being confused for a Crystal Gem. I was interrogated while my gem was stuck in a mirror, but that kind of got cut short when the Diamonds unleashed their final attack and forced everyone to flee. I was left behind by accident, and someone cracked my gem by stepping on it, and years later, I was found by Pearl, who kept me in her gem until Steven freed me."
"Aw, what a happy ending!" White Topaz cooed.
"Yeah, no." Lapis sardonically corrected White Topaz. "After I was freed from the mirror, I nearly drowned tons of people because I wanted to get home, but then home turned out to be a lot different from when I left it. I was once again made a prisoner by Peridot and Jasper, who then invaded Earth because I met the Crystal Gems that everyone thought were defeated in the Rebellion, then I fused with Jasper to protect Steven, which took a number on both of our mental states, I was freed yet again, then I left Earth because I was told the Diamonds might be coming, before coming back only to get poofed by Yellow Diamond."
"Much like Lapis, I was only supposed to be on Earth for a short while to perform my duties." Peridot began telling her story. "I was supposed to check up on the old Galaxy Warp, but then the Crystal Gems kept getting in my way no matter what. Before I knew it, I was without help, without any working technology, and then without my limb enhancers. I don't think I even bothered to ask where the Gems put them."
"A Lapis, a Bismuth and a Peridot. What an unlikely trio." Black Rutile mused. "Tell me, what was it that made you three decide to work alongside each other in the first place."
"Well, it all began when Steven and the Crystal Gems left Earth to convince White Diamond to help them cure corruption." Bismuth said. "I elected to stay behind on Earth to watch over these two."
"Ooh, ooh, can I do a reenactment?!" White Topaz asked, to which Black Rutile responded with a sigh.
"Proceed." Black Rutile muttered, tapping on her camera to produce a light shining on the surface of the dropship. White Topaz began to shapeshift her fingers into various characters, and started a shadow puppet show.
"Bye Bismuth, I'm gonna go to Homeworld and hope we can convince White Diamond to help us save the corrupted Gems." White Topaz said, imitating Steven. "You do you kid. I'm gonna watch over those other Gems while you're away." She continued, now impersonating Bismuth. "Have fun!"
Steven's shadow puppet was raised into the air as White Topaz made rocket sounds, followed by turning more of her fingers into Peridot and Lapis. Black Rutile just gave an annoyed glare to the camera.
"Hey, where's Steven?" White Topaz's impression of Lapis asked. "Oh, him? He ran off to Homeworld with the Diamonds." Her mimicry of Bismuth answered. "Oh my stars, are we too late?!" an aping of Peridot cried out.
"Do I really sound like that?" Peridot muttered as the shadow play went on.
"No little guy, he's fine!" White Topaz's impression of Bismuth continued. "Just something about corruption or whatever."
"Okay, I think we've seen enough!" Black Rutile laughed awkwardly as she interrupted the puppet show.
"Aw, but I was getting to the good part!" White Topaz moaned sadly.
"To be fair, you were almost spot on." Bismuth stated. "When Steven told us through some weird watermelon creature that looked just like him that trouble was indeed brewing on Homeworld, Peridot and Lapis reformed not too long after and we came together out of a desire to help him out."
"United by a common goal, how quaint." Black Rutile smiled and folded her hands behind her back, trying to hide their fidgeting. "Now then, would anyone else like to come up and chat?"
"I would, I would, I would!" Teal Zircon cried as she pushed her way through the crowd. "Hi, name's Teal Zircon, nice to meet you!" she greeted Black Rutile while rapidly shaking her hand. "So, you wanted to learn about my time here on Earth?"
"You're awfully excitable." Black Rutile pushed up her visor by the bridge with a grin. "More to the point, I'd like to hear your story Ms. Zircon."
"Gladly!" Teal Zircon exclaimed. "Like many of the Gems here, I was once corrupted by the Diamonds and became a long-tongued speedster that Peridot tried to capture no matter what, through hell or high water. Eventually, she did succeed, and I was stuck in the barn she and Lapis called home, until the Crystal Gems took me to their place. One day, I was healed by Steven along with a Cherry Quartz and shown around Little Homeschool. That same day, Steven took me along to see a Jasper who didn't want to go to school, and I was willing to become her friend, but I'm pretty sure she hates my guts."
"I'll have to check up on this Jasper sometime." Black Rutile commented. "Now then, anyone else care to share?"
"I'd like to." Zuli answered as she flew up and touched down next to Black Rutile. "I only came here a few weeks ago after Steven recommended the place to a former friend of mine and me. We were terraforming this moon called Aozul 2, but Steven and this other Lapis that we were buddies with back in our terraforming days told us that wasn't cool anymore, so they taught us new ways to express ourselves. I was a lot more accepting, but my ex-friend didn't want to change. To this day, I still don't know where she's at."
"May I go next?" Cherry Quartz asked Black Rutile.
"Sure, go ahead." Black Rutile answered, passing the mic to the Quartz.
"I was an average Quartz soldier made to fight in the war, but then I got corrupted, of course." Cherry began. "Then Steven came along and healed me along with TZ, and introduced us to Little Homeschool. I was a little nervous at first, but while Steven was away, I met up with some fellow Quartzes who told me all about how great it was here."
"I was the first corrupted Gem Steven helped defeat." Nephrite said, taking the mic from Cherry Quartz. "I was actually brought back out a few times, the first was a complete accident & I was poofed soon after, but the second time was when Steven thought he could try to heal me, but instead he reunited me with my old crew."
"Okay, we're running out of time here folks, I got other people to interview, and I haven't got all day!" Black Rutile yelled. "Which one wants to cap off this part?!"
"Little Larimar and I wanna talk." Snowflake Obsidian answered. "Hi, I'm Snowflake Obsidian. This is my buddy Little Larimar."
"We were corrupted Gems too." Larimar said. "I remember when Steven dropped us into that fountain, and we were all right as rain. Then years later, he helped us all find jobs that he thought were right for us, but then hilarity ensued."
"Wow, pretty much everyone here has such nice things to say about Steven." Black Rutile commented while putting on an eerie fake smile. "Isn't there anyone on this planet that doesn't love him?"
"Well, there is Jasper, kind of." Bismuth answered. "I say kind of because I have no idea what's even up with her ever since she was uncorrupted. I mean, she does express a teeny bit of gratitude for it, but she still would rather stay as far away from us as possible."
"To be frank, I wouldn't blame her." Lapis agreed. "Anyway, if you want to interview her, she's in a cave in the woods nearby."
"Good to know, Lapis." Black Rutile thanked Lapis. "I do hope we can see each other again sometime." She laughed as she and White Topaz began leaving Little Homeworld. "Perhaps even sooner than you think."
"We've all had our fun in Little Homeworld, but there's still a Gem we've yet to cover as we move on with our tour of Earth." Black Rutile continued narrating while walking in the woods. "This Gem, in particular, has been living in the woods ever since she was cured of an unfortunate case of corruption, and refuses to join her fellow Gems at Little Homeschool! Well, let's see if she can tell us why."
"Is that where she's living over there?" White Topaz asked as she pointed the camera to a cave with a tarp over the entrance.
"I think you might be right!" Black Rutile exclaimed as she raced over to the cave. "Excuse me, does Jasper live here?!"
"No she doesn't, now get out." Jasper's voice grumbled from within the cave.
"If Jasper isn't here, then who are you?" White Topaz asked, forcing Jasper to emerge from her cave.
"Someone who's going to pulverize you if you don't leave me alone." Jasper snarled.
"But we just wanted to ask about your time here on Earth!" Black Rutile nervously explained.
"Guess what, I'm not interested." Jasper added. "Now let me repeat myself, beat it, or I'm gonna beat you!"
"I think we should do as she says, my Rutile!" White Topaz began sweating nervously and slowly stepping away from Jasper.
"Righto." Black Rutile agreed before they ran away from Jasper. "But trust me, I think she might be useful to us."
"Well, that went horribly." White Topaz commented the farther she and Black Rutile got from Jasper. "Now where are we?"
"I'm not sure." Black Rutile answered while gazing at a terraced house. "But I do believe we have our next interviewee!"
"Which is?" White Topaz asked her superior.
"The residence of one Connie," Black Rutile declared, bringing up data on Connie on her visor, but then stopped at her last name. "Moo-hee-swear-ann. Seriously, how do you pronounce that?" The reporter decided to brush that off with a shrug and proceeded to knock on the door. "Good day Ms. Moo-hee-swear-ann, my name is Black Rutile, here to interview you about your experiences on Earth."
"It's Maheswaran, in case you're struggling to pronounce it." Connie's mother Priyanka corrected the Rutile. "Now, can I help you?"
"Oh, my apologies." Black Rutile said. "You look a lot taller than my data says."
"I believe you have me confused for my daughter, I'm her mother." Priyanka stated. "If you wish to speak with Connie, she's busy with college preparations, so you can only speak for 15 minutes."
"Uh, question!" White Topaz raised her hand. "What's college?"
"So you're doing all this for a TV show?" Connie asked Black Rutile moments later in the living room.
"You could say that." Black Rutile answered with a grin. "I'm working on an investigative report chronicling everyone's experiences with Era 3, and I'm working towards interviewing all the Crystal Gems and their allies, you included little girl. Now tell me, how did you first meet little Steven?"
"Well, it all started a few years ago." Connie began retelling her first meeting with Steven. "I was minding my own business, Steven was trying to get my attention because he wanted to be my friend, but one thing led to another, and we were stuck in a bubble together."
"Not how I'd expect your species to make new friends, but you do you." White Topaz commented with a grin.
"Anyways, it's all thanks to him that I was able to get out of my comfort zone a bit over the years." Connie continued. "I learned sword fighting from Pearl, became able to fend for myself, and we even fused!"
"Yeah, we still find that a little strange." Her father Doug interjected.
"Fusing with humans, just like they said." Black Rutile whispered to herself.
"Did you say something, miss?" Priyanka asked.
"Oh, nothing." Black Rutile covered up what she just said before moving back to Connie. "It seems like you two are just inseparable!"
"Well, mostly." Connie stated. "When Steven let himself get captured by Aquamarine to save everyone, we were all so worried sick for him. And even when he came back perfectly fine, I still felt like this all could've been avoided if we fought together."
"Oh, poor little girl." Black Rutile comforted Connie, though with a secret hint of condescendence in her voice. "It must be hard to lose someone so dear only for them to come back and disregard your feelings by acting like everything's fine."
"It's okay." Connie said. "We did get back together eventually, and now our bond is stronger than ever!"
"Woo, love wins!" White Topaz cheered, inciting yet another angry glare from her boss. "Um, can I do the shadow puppets again?"
"Go ahead." Black Rutile frowned in embarrassment.
"Wait, your documentary has shadow plays?" Priyanka wondered aloud.
"Don't ask me; this was all her idea!" Black Rutile replied grumpily. "What a childish clod."
"Hey Connie, I'm back from Homeworld! Hope no one missed me." White Topaz began another puppet show, this time of Steven and Connie's brief falling out, while trying her best to mimic Steven. "We did kinda miss you, you could've died!" she continued while imitating Connie's voice. "I don't see what the problem is, I'm standing right here!" the Steven puppet replied carelessly. "Well, we could've stopped Aquamarine together, but you gotta make everything about you!" the Connie puppet declared. "So screw you Steven, I'm going home!"
"Wait, I didn't say anything like that!" the real Connie said nervously.
"Sorry kid, I'm just making this up as I go." White Topaz apologized, and just as she was about to continue her show, Black Rutile cut it short. "Aw man!"
"Well, I think we've just about wrapped up here, friends!" Black Rutile announced. "We've got places to be, people to meet, and more opportunities for me to be humiliated by you, Topaz."
"Well, it was nice to see you." Doug said goodbye as the two Gems left the Maheswarans' house. "Hope your documentary is a big hit!"
"Thank you; you're too kind!" Black Rutile waved back and closed the door, allowing some privacy as she scolded White Topaz. "Was it really necessary for you to go all "love wins" on us, you softhearted fool?" she scowled as they began walking away from the house.
"I'm sorry, I just think they're so adorable together!" White Topaz tried to justify her actions, before Black Rutile pulled her down by her collar.
"We have no time for sappy romances!" the Rutile yelled in her bodyguard's face. "We are here to gather information, and that's final! Are we clear?!"
"Yes, your clarity." White Topaz bowed her head in shame.
"Good, now where were we?" Black Rutile tapped on the side of her visor and pulled up a map of the surrounding area. "Ah, yes! Beach City!" she declared while the map began pointing to the little seaside town.
"Ooh, that place sounds fun." White Topaz commented. "Think maybe we could take a vacation there some time, just you and me?"
"Apologies, but we're on a mission." Black Rutile declared as she put the map away. "We'll have time for fun later, but it'll be my choice of fun. Understand?"
"Yes, boss!" White Topaz gave a comical salute, and the two began setting off for Beach City.
"Now then, this place should be full of Steven stories!" Black Rutile announced as the duo strolled into town. "And maybe we could find some of his weaknesses too."
"Hey, check out this funny sign!" White Topaz said while gazing at the sign for It's A Wash. "What do you think is a wash?"
"Hey new Gems, welcome." They heard Greg greet them. "If you came here to sign up for Little Homeschool, you should take it up with the Gems first."
"Oh no sir, we already saw that school." Black Rutile said. "It's all part of a series of interviews I'm doing for my show, Eye on Era 3. Which reminds me, how would you describe your experiences with the Crystal Gems?"
"My experiences?" Greg wondered. "Well, it all started one night when I was just a young rocker on tour. I had arrived in Beach City for a show, and Rose Quartz was the only one who showed up."
"Ah yes, Pink Diamond always had a fascination with humans," Black Rutile interjected. "often at the expense of her own kind."
"Yeah yeah, Pink kinda stunk, but don't we all sometimes?" Greg philosophized. "Like I was saying, Rose was the only one who came to my concert at Beach City, and from then onward, I felt like it was destiny. I even wrote a song about it!" He then walked to his van to search for his guitar, and began to play. "Do you believe in destiny? Close your eyes and leave the rest to-"
"I'm sorry, we have no time for a song." Greg's interviewer cut him off. "Could you please continue, sir?"
"Sorry if I was any trouble." Greg apologized, putting away his guitar. "The Gems didn't have a very high opinion of me when we first met, especially Pearl, but we were still able to get along with each other. Amethyst in particular took a liking to me."
"Speaking of which, are the Gems in town today, or are they off on some magical mission or something?" Black Rutile asked Greg.
"Oh, they kinda retired from going on missions now that everything's at peace." Greg answered. "But, Steven's still at home over there." He then pointed over to the Crystal Temple not too far away from Beach City itself.
"Yes, pay-dirt!" Black Rutile grinned eagerly. "Come along Topaz, we shall hit ratings dynamite!"
"Coming!" White Topaz cried as she raced after her master. "Hey, maybe we can chat with some of the people here along the way! They might give us some good info!"
"It was kinda thanks to Steven that I died and came back to life." Lars admitted to Black Rutile. "But also thanks to him, I came back as a completely new man with my own awesome spaceship, a serious attitude adjustment, and ever since I came back to Earth, I've taken up some combat training in case I ever go back to space and fight new threats, like I learned musti-yuddha from Connie's dad for example!"
"Lars's disappearance got me kind of depressed for a while." Sadie said while her band prepared for practice. "But I found a new way of expressing it with horror-themed rock music!"
"We had trouble finding our sound before Sadie became our frontman." Buck Dewey stated.
"And since then, we became an overnight hit!" Jenny Pizza exclaimed.
"But I have a feeling our differing paths might cause a break-up." Sour Cream admitted.
"Steven had good intentions when he helped me run for re-election," ex-Mayor Dewey said. "but ultimately I lost. But hey, I did find a new calling at the Big Donut!"
"I was having stress dreams about my sister making me do her work, which took the form of a giant pizza monster, until Steven used his crazy dream powers to help me out." Kiki Pizza said.
"I'll admit, I had a crush on Garnet once upon a time." Jamie declared. "But really, can you blame me?! She was just so stoic and radiant and-"
"Get to the point!" Black Rutile sternly ordered.
"I'm sorry, got a little distracted." Jamie apologized. "But I had since moved onto better things, like my future career in the theater!"
"Okay, that should be all." Black Rutile sighed in exhaustion. "Now then, let's not waste any more ti-"
"Wait, I want to talk to you!" Ronaldo cried out as he raced to the Gems with a notebook in hand.
"What do you want?" the reporter grumbled. "We're wasting daylight here!"
"You've been going around asking people questions about Gems, but this time I want to ask you for a change." Ronaldo declared.
"Okay then, fire away little guy." White Topaz said with a smile.
"There are still tons of unanswered questions about your kind that I must inquire about!" Ronaldo said while flipping through his notebook. "Like, for example, do you know who created the Gems in the first place? How was Homeworld first colonized? When did they start colonizing other planets?"
"I don't believe we have time for your questions." Black Rutile snidely shut Ronaldo's questions down before making her way to the Crystal Temple. "Come Topaz, we have work to do."
"Yes, my Rutile!" White Topaz obeyed and followed behind, leaving Ronaldo in the dust.
"You can run, but I will get my answers!" Ronaldo declared loudly, but he was too late. "And they're gone."
"Okay, Topaz, we have to make a good first impression here, so no silly games or shadow puppet shows." Black Rutile commanded as they ascended the beach house's front steps and reached the front door.
"Aw man." White Topaz moaned in disappointment.
"Quit being such a child you moron." Black Rutile exhaled in disgust as she knocked on the door. "Hello, is anyone home?"
"Just a minute!" a voice the two Gems were eager to hear answered as its owner raced downstairs.
"Oh my stars, the moment has come; he's finally here!" White Topaz squealed happily before she received a slap to the face.
"Hello, what brings you here?" Steven greeted Black Rutile.
"Steven Universe, at long last!" BR exclaimed. "I'm Black Rutile, host of Eye on Era 3, and this is my camera-Gem/bodyguard White Topaz! We're here for an investigative report on the state of Earth in this new era, and have been interviewing many of your family and friends."
"You're a bit shorter than I expected." White Topaz commented.
"I see my reputation precedes me." Steven declared. "Come on in."
"Nice place you got here." White Topaz complimented the house as she and her boss were shown inside.
"Thanks, the Gems helped build this place." Steven accepted the compliment. "Hey, I got a question. I've met a Topaz and a Rutile before, but they sound nothing like you. Why is that?"
"We're just special Gems. Comes with being former members of White Diamond's court." Black Rutile answered while sitting down on the couch. "But enough about us, let's talk you! Could you give us a little life story first?"
"If you want." Steven answered while sitting across from the Rutile. "I remember first discovering my powers like it was yesterday. I was super bummed that my favorite brand of ice cream was discontinued, but then the Gems told me they got tons of it from other stores, and taking a bite out of one coincided with me summoning my shield for the first time, which led me to believe I could do so by eating Cookie Cat."
"Hahaha, oh the innocence of youth!" Black Rutile chuckled nostalgically. "I remember when I first emerged for White Diamond. A real young hotshot, a little arrogant even. Could you tell us more about these powers, kid?"
"Over time, I learned tons of Gem powers." Steven regaled. "Like shapeshifting, control over plant life, making bubbles, telepathy, sticking my mind in others' bodies, but fusion gave me tons of new abilities. This reminds me of a story."
"Ooh, shadow time!" White Topaz exclaimed, but her happiness was immediately put to rest.
"What did I tell you?! No shadows!" Black Rutile yelled strictly at her sidekick, and then immediately changed her mood. "Please continue."
"All right." Steven was a little taken aback by Black Rutile's cold behavior towards White Topaz before he began his story. "Anyways, it all started when I had to take care of Onion for the day, and Pearl helped out."
"Thank you Explorer Gal for saving us from that dastardly Bandit Guy!" Rainbow Quartz 2.0 said, taking the role of one of Onion's toys. Onion was playing with Explorer Gal, who thanked the other toy in Onion's unintelligible matter.
"For your heroic efforts, please accept money." Rainbow continued while handing Onion a dollar bill. "Our city was a mess before you came along, but now…." Rainbow then began to break character as they took notice of Onion's messy room. "Well, I suppose it's still a mess." They commented. "It's been so much fun playing, but now we have to clean, which is also fun!" they declared while making a rainbow with their hands. "Are you ready to tidy up?"
Onion stared blankly while slowly sticking a piece of broccoli out of his mouth.
"Oh Onion, don't you be that way." Rainbow 2.0 chuckled. "Your best friend Rainbow will help you tidy up!" Just then, they pulled a parasol out of Pearl's gem. "Let's make things a little more animated in here!"
With that, Rainbow made Onion's toys come to life, and they began marching to their proper places in his room while Rainbow started a song. "Stick by stick, the little blackbird makes a nest." They began singing while making Onion's clothes fly into his dresser. "A mess to some, but the little blackbird isn't stressed."
Rainbow then allowed Onion to give the umbrella a try, making one of the boy's toy cars come to life and race away. "Stick by stick, the little blackbird makes a nest." The fusion continued while Onion marveled at the parasol's powers. "And then he naps, cause even blackbirds need to rest. The fun won't stop if you have a friend around. The fun won't stop if you have a friend around."
As Rainbow began to finish the song, Onion kept playing with the umbrella, making more of his toys come alive, along with a Venus flytrap. "And when you laugh, it is my favorite sound." Onion then discovered some darts in his drawer, and used the parasol to make them fly. "And that's what life is all about."
"What the?!" Rainbow stuttered before dodging the darts, making them land on a dartboard. With that, they finally decided to take their weapon back from Onion while noticing a stack of dirty dishes. "Next time, please wash your dishes." They instructed before sending the dishes off to be cleaned, and then taking notice of a stuffed toy in Steven's image hidden near Onion's bed, eerily waving to them. "And could you please explain what this is?"
Onion didn't answer, aside from blowing Rainbow a few kisses.
"Alright, thank you for the kisses." Rainbow thanked Onion before Steven's phone began to ring. "Just give me five or so minutes."
Rainbow un-fused into Steven and Pearl, and Steven answered his phone. Garnet was on the other end, holding her cellphone extremely close to her face. "Steven, you're late." Garnet said. "I need you for the Sunstone Safety Geminar."
"Oh no, that was today?!" Steven began panicking. "But Rainbow Quartz promised to hang out with Onion today!"
"Don't worry; I'll handle the Geminar." Garnet stated confidently. "I'll explain every possible future where they could get hurt around the house."
"I don't know if that'll be a good idea, I'll be right there." Steven responded before hanging up and turning to Pearl. "Pearl, I'll be back as soon as I can." He promised. "Could you watch over Onion for me while I'm away?"
"Of course." Pearl agreed. "Onion loves Rainbow, I'm sure he'll love me as much."
"In hindsight, that wasn't my best idea." Steven took a break from his tale to confess. "Onion can be a real handful."
"Like, how much of a handful?" White Topaz asked.
"Let's just say, he's a real oddball who loves causing trouble." Steven stated. "I can never really get a read on that guy, no matter how much of a good friend he is. Heck, he doesn't even seem to age normally!"
"So, about this Geminar." Black Rutile began. "You said Rainbow Quartz is a fusion between you and Pearl, but who is this Sunstone running that event?"
"Oh, Sunstone is the fusion of Garnet and I." Steven answered. "They're all hip and radical and like giving important life lessons, kind of like those old PSA characters from the 90s. Speaking of which…"
"I slip on the stairs?" Ocean Jasper wondered while watching a television screen with Garnet, the Heaven & Earth Beetles, and a Nephrite.
"Indeed, and you shatter on impact too." Garnet bluntly replied, causing Ocean and the Nephrite to scream and hug each other in fright.
"Garnet, I'm here!" Steven called as he entered the house.
"Thanks for coming, Steven, but I need help." Garnet stated. "I think I'm scaring our guests."
"It's okay; we got this." Steven assured. "Let's get this safety Geminar started with a very special guest!"
Garnet got up from the couch, and the two began to dance, eventually forming the totally cool fusion Sunstone.
"Your rockin' pal Sunstone's here to shine!" Sunstone announced merrily.
"Watch out Sunstone, it's dangerous here!" Ocean Jasper cautioned Sunstone.
"Not unless you guys practice home safety." Sunstone assured the scared Gems. "Don't slip up. Clear objects off the stairs." They instructed by taking a water bottle off the steps to Steven's bedroom and throwing it like a ball. "Foul shot!"
The bottle landed in a trash can near Lion, which prompted another tip. "Be sure to cover up your trash, or else you'll attract bugs or hungry animals." Sunstone demonstrated as they shooed Lion away from the garbage. "Come on, let's go!" they declared. "Don't waste water. Turn off any faucet still running." Sunstone then shut off the sink. "Put protective covers over your electrical outlets, especially when kids are around." They added while doing just that. "And don't even think about sticking a fork in there! But most importantly, turn off motion smoothing on the TV."
Sunstone then used the remote to operate the television, allowing clearer picture and sound for everyone. "Okay, hold tight gang, gotta take a phone call." They said. "In the meantime, check out this commercial."
"Well, seems like you had things handled." White Topaz remarked.
"Famous last words White Topaz." Steven gravely informed. "Pearl later called me on my phone because Onion was giving her a serious headache, so I came back to her to calm Onion down. Then Garnet was trying to do a home safety obstacle course, but that went horribly wrong."
"Okay, color me wrong." The Topaz guard said. "I suppose hilarity must've ensued?"
"Oh so much." Steven declared. "I tried merging both the Geminar with playing with Onion, but one thing led to another."
"It's important to keep in mind that all of these horrible things did happen to you in alternate timelines." Garnet instructed her seminar attendees near the lighthouse. "Safety rules."
"Hey, Garnet." An exhausted Rainbow 2.0 called for their fellow fusion as they flew in via umbrella, with Onion in front. "Would you mind taking on another student?" they asked as Onion was let off the umbrella. "I'm feeling a mite PLPBBT."
With one last raspberry noise, Rainbow un-fused into Steven and Pearl. Steven just groaned tiredly.
"You shouldn't have brought him here Steven." Garnet forebodingly scolded the boy as Onion took a seat in front of her with the Gems.
"No, no, it's fine. It's good." Steven stuttered, having had enough of the stressful day he had. "No one needs safety training more than Onion! I'm combining all of my responsibilities into one responsibility! It's brilliant, it's brilliant! It's fine. I'm fine. Really, it's fine. I'm fine. I'm fine."
Onion wasn't paying attention the whole time, and instead picked up a blade of grass to play like a musical instrument, hypnotically commanding the other Gems to follow him. And Steven was too busy assuring Garnet and Pearl that he was fine to notice too late what had just happened.
A madcap chase soon ensued, with the three Crystal Gems following Onion and the Little Homeschoolers throughout Beach City, into the woods, and finally to a hill, where Onion let go of the leaf. Despite that, Ocean Jasper, the Beetles, and the Nephrite continued marching to the point of falling over the edge.
"Oh no!" Pearl cried as the Gems fell off the hill.
"Steven, we need Sunstone to save them!" Garnet urged Steven.
"Okay!" Steven yelped, and they fused into Sunstone.
"No, we need Rainbow to save them!" Pearl began arguing with her de-facto superior as she swiped Steven away to form Rainbow Quartz.
"I'll catch them with this!" Rainbow declared as they presented their umbrella.
"Can't all three of us fuse to save them?" Garnet wondered just as Amethyst raced up to them.
"Hey wait!" Amethyst cried. "I need Steven!"
Rainbow un-fused so Steven could speak. "What is it Amethyst?!"
"I miss you, man!" Amethyst yelled. "I haven't seen you in like, eleven minutes! But it felt like even longer!"
Steven couldn't take it anymore, and without a single word, he collapsed to the ground in exhaustion.
"STEVEN!" Pearl screamed as she raced to Steven's side.
"I shouldn't have overbooked my schedule." Steven groaned one last time before passing out from exhaustion.
"Nooooooooo." Garnet unemotionally cried out in despair.
"Oh-hohohohoho, I know what it's like!" Black Rutile cackled as Steven finished his story. "Must be so hard to be so overworked at such a young age."
"Guess that's what happens when you're running a whole school." Steven chuckled in reply. "So, guess that should be it, right?"
"No, I'd like to speak with Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl first before we wrap up for today." Black Rutile answered, just as the Warp pad began glowing. "Oh, and look who should show up now!"
The core Crystal Gems stood at the Warp Pad, ready to kick back after the long day they had today. "Good thing it was so easy to get that crowd under control." Pearl exhaled. "Still, who was that interviewer they were talking about?"
"I believe that would be me." Black Rutile answered as she stood up from the couch to meet the Gems. "Hi, Black Rutile, intelligence officer of White Diamond turned news reporter. Pleased to meet you."
"I wasn't aware White had a court." Garnet said as the Rutile shook each of their hands. "Pleased to meet you too."
"I just got done interviewing Steven, and he told me the most hilarious story about his troubles with balancing two things at once." Black Rutile said.
"Yeah, things went kinda crazy that day." Amethyst reminisced. "But thankfully, everything went back to normal after that."
"Oh good, the way Steven ended things left me on the edge of my seat!" White Topaz exclaimed while positioning the camera to face the Gems. "One more question before we go, what would you say are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?"
"A little oddly specific, but okay." Pearl remarked. "I pride myself on orderliness, swordsmanship, and intelligence. But I can be a bit doting and perfectionist at times."
"I can be kinda foolish and impulsive, but I'm pretty much past that." Amethyst added. "I'm also more street smart than book smart, and super tough too!"
"I'm a very stable fusion, which especially helps in battle." Garnet said. "My future vision is also seldom wrong, unless the current timeline becomes too unpredictable."
"Well, that should be enough for now." Black Rutile said as she entered all of her data into her visor. "Apologies if we couldn't talk anymore, but I've got places to be and missions to go on, so toodles!"
"Hope we can see each other again, Black Rutile!" Steven said goodbye as the two visiting Gems took the Warp Pad back to Little Homeworld.
"Maybe sooner than you think." Black Rutile smirked before they disappeared.
"She's right, we'll be seeing her again many times." Garnet predicted with an adjustment of her glasses. "But none of them will be friendly."
Steven, Amethyst, and Pearl just laughed at Garnet's prediction, ignorant at what could be to come.
Upon returning to Little Homeworld and boarding their ship, Black Rutile and White Topaz finally left Earth and launched into hyperspace.
"Wow, those Crystal Gems really are swell!" White Topaz commented while her superior sat down in her chair. "I don't see why we're plotting against them."
"It's because they've become far too powerful." Black Rutile answered gravely, a far cry from the persona she put up on Earth. "Does Steven really think he can change our entire society with just hugging, crying, singing, and a cheeky one-liner? Bah, I've done so much better without any of those!"
"My Rutile, we should be exiting hyperspace above Revanche 666 in approximately 15 seconds." One of the Rutile's Citrines confirmed. "Would you like to inform your allies of your coming?"
"Bring Emerald up." Black Rutile commanded, cuing a video screen to appear, showing the tall, green Gem pilot on the other side. "Hello there, Emerald."
"Your clarity, has your reconnaissance ended well?" Emerald asked with a bow.
"Indeed it has." Black Rutile answered with a grin. "Those clods never suspected a thing!"
"And we got it all on video too!" White Topaz added.
"Excellent, we'll soon have everything we need." Emerald declared. "We're all waiting for you at the base, hoping you won't disappoint."
"Oh, don't worry, Emerald, I won't." Black Rutile replied. "That will be all." With a clap, the screen disappeared, and the ship exited hyperspace to reveal the skull-like planet of Revanche 666 before them. "Prepare for landing."
When the dropship finally landed at Black Rutile's headquarters, two rows of Pearls patiently awaited their master's return.
"Ah, my Pearls." Black Rutile announced as she disembarked. "When I ordered Shell to create all of you, I knew it wouldn't disappoint."
"Thank you, my Rutile." The Pearls thanked in unison while one of them took the camera from White Topaz. "Your minions await."
"Perfect." Black Rutile purred before beginning her stroll to her meeting room. "Come Topaz, we have much to do."
"Geez, what's taking her so long?" Lapis Lazuli 1J9G-5KL complained as she, Holly Blue Agate, Morganite, Emerald, Aquamarine, and Eyeball kept on waiting for their boss while seated around a round, white table.
"Patience Lapis." Aquamarine soothed her fellow Gem's annoyance. "She did say that she'd be arriving soon."
"The sooner, the better!" Eyeball yelled, pounding her fist on the table. "I want revenge on Steven for making me a pariah, and I want it now!"
"You're awfully eager." Emerald muttered to her fellow eye Gem before turning to Holly Blue and Morganite. "So, how goes that Zircon's democratic campaign?"
"That navel gem Ruby we planted as her campaign manager has been feeding her lies, and the Zircon doesn't suspect a thing!" Holly Blue answered excitedly.
"More and more Gems have been unknowingly swayed to our cause." Morganite stated. "Soon, we shall have an army strong enough to topple even the Diamonds."
Just then, Black Rutile and White Topaz finally arrived in the meeting room, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and salute her. "Welcome, your clarity."
"You're all too kind." Black Rutile thanked them sarcastically as she took a seat between Aquamarine and White Topaz. "I suspect your missions have been going well too, no?"
"Indeed it has my Rutile." Holly Blue revealed.
"That brat has been controlling us all for too long." Aquamarine declared. "Now it's time we take back our planet from those tyrannical pacifists."
"Are you all sure this is a good idea?" White Topaz asked the other Era 3 insurgents. "I mean, the Crystal Gems have become far too powerful to be challenged, and the Diamonds will no doubt come for our gems if they find out!"
"The Diamonds are yesterday's news!" Black Rutile roared, forcing her Topaz into silence. "And speaking of which, Steven may not realize this, but he's no better than his brat of a mother! Thinking he can force all of Homeworld to obey him by being a controlling twerp! Thankfully, he doesn't do so by throwing tantrums left and right until the Diamonds do what he says to shut him up. For now at least."
A Black Pearl entered the meeting room with White Topaz's camera in her hands, and she set it down on the table.
"Thank you my Pearl." Black Rutile thanked the Pearl before turning it on to reveal all the information that she collected on Earth.
"Is this all we need to know about the Gems in time for Phase 2?" Morganite asked her black-colored superior.
"You bet it is." Black Rutile declared with a sociopathic grin as she gazed at one of the holograms of Steven and plucked it out to hold in her hands. "You can have your happily ever after as much as you like, Steven." She declared evilly. "Cause your little Universe will soon be mine."
END OF PART 1: LITTLE HOMESCHOOL
TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2: GRADUATION
At last, Part 1 is finally complete! And here, unfortunately, is where I must go on hiatus. Second semester of college and all that, and I think my classes might be harder than last semester. But hopefully, this cliffhanger should tide you over until we come back. Anyways, Black Rutile is finally upon us! A character that I think I'll have fun writing since I consider her to be like the Lex Luthor to Steven's Superman, the Frieza to his Goku, the Megatron to his Optimus Prime, the Aku to his Samurai Jack, etc etc. In other words, Steven's got a new archenemy coming and he doesn't even know it yet. Stay tuned! (evil laughter)