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It takes Lisa three outfit changes before she finally settles on an elegant green dress with long sleeves and a pleated skirt that ends just below her knees. She pairs it with a black belt that emphasizes her trim waist and slips on her only piece of jewelry – a delicate silver bracelet that her father had given her for her sixteenth birthday and now the only thing she has left of him.
After donning a pale pink scarf, she gives herself a quick spritz of her favourite perfume before slipping on her fur trimmed boots and a warm coat to ward off the frigid air on the short stroll to Rick's quarters. She could easily take a cab, but it was a beautiful evening outside despite the cold and she needs the walk to calm her trembling nerves.
Is she excited? Nervous? Worried? She can't tell. The butterflies in her stomach are doing battle in a way that almost makes her want to cancel, but she's determined that tonight whatever it is that has been brewing between Rick and her battered heart will finally reach a consensus once and for all.
By the time she steps outside, moon is already beginning to rise beyond the city skyline. She starts down the path under the patchy glow of the street lamps where she passes a few enlisted personnel as they return from their shifts on the base not too far away. They nod to her in greeting and cars hum by on the street. It's a night much like any other yet with every step that she takes, Lisa can't shake the whimsical sense that she just might have a meeting with destiny.
Finally she turns onto Rick's street and the familiar red letterbox waits for her at the edge of the path. There had been many times she would stop by his quarters, straightening his messy sheets and tidying away his dishes when he was out on patrol. At the time, she had told herself she was simply being neighborly, stepping up to lend a helping hand so that when he returned battle worn and weary from his long, grueling missions out in the wastelands, he would have something worth returning to.
And by extension, perhaps she then would be worth returning to.
It makes her face heat a little at the recollection. Her feelings had been so obvious, how he could not have known how deeply she cared for him? Or had he known all along and was simply taking advantage of her lovelorn heart?
A flicker of unease burrows into her stomach as she makes her way down the short pathway to the door. It's shadowed in darkness and Lisa spares a moment to close her eyes and take a deep breath of the cool night air to steel herself for the evening ahead.
Be brave, she whispers to herself.
She lifts her hand but before she has a chance to knock, the door swings opens and a rush of warmth and light spills across her feet.
"Lisa! You came!" Rick's face lights up, bright and joyful, then he shakes his head ruefully. "What am I saying? Of course you came. Please come in."
His greeting surprises her. "Hello, Rick."
He seems so genuinely relieved to see her that Lisa spares a private thought to wonder if perhaps he thought she wouldn't show up. A tiny part of her whispers that maybe she should have kept him waiting, much like he had left her on the day of their picnic, just to give him a little taste of the anguish she had felt, but she pushes the thought away as quickly as it comes. That would be vindictive and petty and Rick had been trying to show her how much he regretted his actions.
Besides, she tells herself, her ingrained military training simply wouldn't allow for tardiness.
"I'm not late, am I?" she asks shyly, already knowing the answer. The fluttering wings in her stomach leave her feeling unsettled and awkward.
Rick shakes his head as he steps aside to allow her through the doorway and into his tiny galley kitchen. A pot of water boils on the stove and the air is filled with the tantalizing smell of something delicious baking in the oven. It's warm inside and she tugs at the scarf around her neck.
"You? Late?" Rick chuckles. "I can't imagine you've ever been late to anything in your life."
Lisa's spine stiffens involuntarily until she catches sight of the curve of his mouth. He's teasing her, she reminds herself, although something about his comment pricks too close to old insecurities and old arguments to be entirely comfortable.
She decides to ignore it for now, unwilling to start their evening off on a bad note and telling herself it's just her nerves making her so anxious. "It's rather toasty in here," she comments instead, taking a moment to slip off her coat. "Do you have the heat turned up or is that the oven?"
"It might be turned up a little more than usual," he says sheepishly. "After that night on your doorstep I feel like I'll never get warm again."
"Honestly, I'm a little surprised you didn't get sick."
"Nah," he shrugs. He pretends to flex his muscles playfully but his grin feels forced. "Not me. I'm as tough as they come."
"Tough is one word for it."
She offers him a slight smile to show she's trying to go along with his teasing but the beats feel off. There's still too much unspoken tension between them despite Rick's best efforts to barrel past it.
"And I suppose you would use something else, huh, Captain?"
There's a faint echo of a challenge in his voice that feels more familiar, more like the Rick she's used to. This time her small smile is genuine. "Mm, stubborn, perhaps?"
He smirks slightly. "I prefer… determined."
She's spared a chance to answer when the pot on the stove behind him trembles precariously then promptly boils over. Rick spins at the sound of hissing water and rushes to turn down the dials.
"Damn, sorry about that," he mutters when he turns back to her. There's a faint stain of pink across his cheeks but then he zeroes in on the coat she has draped over her arm. "Here, at least let me take your coat into the bedroom so it doesn't get crumpled."
Lisa glances back at the stove. "I can do it, Rick. It looks like you have your hands full here anyway."
For a second it looks like he's about to argue and he holds her gaze a fraction too long. Then he softens in relief even as the pot threatens to bubble over once again.
"Thanks, Lisa."
There's something about the way he says it that curls around her and follows her as she makes her escape out of his kitchen. She clutches her coat to her chest like a shield as she moves, wondering how she's going to make it through this evening with him with her sanity and her heart still intact.
Unlike her own quarters, Rick's space is much more compact and utilitarian in style. With only a single bedroom attached to the cosy, central living space on one side and a kitchen on the other, it doesn't leave a lot of space for the sofa and the small table set off to the side of the room. Lisa pauses as she passes it, her heartrate turning fast and furious when she spots a small vase with a single flower between the two plate settings.
She forces herself to look away and flips on the light in the bedroom, noting absently that Rick had clearly tidied up his usual chaos in anticipation of her visit. The bed sheets were tucked taunt and crisp with a military precision that would have made her father proud. The thought makes her lips quirk as she lays her coat carefully across the foot of his bed.
She turns to leave when something different about the space registers at the back of her mind and she takes a second glance around. On Rick's bedside table rests his brother's old flight helmet, the grey and black tones a familiar and long missed sight. Rick had inherited it from Claudia, the helmet being a too painful reminder of the love she had lost for her to keep. Lisa had seen it there on every visit, although she's unashamedly relieved to realise that the dreaded photo album that had been there on her last stop seems to have been put away.
The album was gone, but there was also something new in its place she hasn't seen before - a simple silver frame, not unusual in itself but the photo inside it makes her breath catch in her throat regardless.
It's a photo she knows well. A photo of her, from the small collection she had presented Rick with not so many weeks ago in a fit of heartbroken weakness. She had so badly wanted him to see her as something more than just a fellow officer, a colleague or even a friend. She had wanted him to know that Minmei wasn't the only woman out there for him, that he had someone right in front of him that would love him more than Minmei ever could. He had told her he had put the photos in his album, but never in her wildest dreams had she expected this.
She forces herself to move, not wanting Rick to think she's snooping by lingering too long in his private spaces but as she turns and scans the walls and surfaces of his room, she realises that it's not just the frame that's different or the album that's been put away.
It's difficult to process the sudden wave of emotion that rolls over her. What did it mean? Lisa doesn't dare to hope but it flares bright in her chest anyway.
Rick is waiting for her in the living room when she finally turns out the light. She hugs her arms to herself, wishing she had some kind of defence against the hope that beats so wildly against her ribcage.
Rick studies her closely for a moment. "Lisa, are you alright?"
"I… I'm not sure," she says truthfully. She can't seem to find her words, her head too full of the possible implications of Rick framing a photo of her in his bedroom.
Rick doesn't seem all that surprised by her confession. Instead, he rubs the back of his neck nervously, like he's been expecting this and wondering how to broach it. "Lisa, look, uh... About today. I'm sorry for ambushing you on the com."
That makes her lips twitch. Her hopes take flight in a way that she knows might leave her hurting one day but she can't seem to find it in her to care. A subtle glance around the Rick's living room confirms what she hadn't let herself think too deeply about – the posters and Minmei paraphernalia were nowhere to be seen.
"No, you're not," she shakes her head and offers him a shy smile to let him know she's not angry.
Not anymore.
Visible relief washes over him. "Guilty," he says but he looks away awkwardly briefly before turning back to her, his eyes blue and earnest. "You know, I thought I was going to have to resort to smoke signals just to get you to talk to me again."
"You don't have to do that, Rick. I'm here now."
He smiles. "Yeah, you are."
A small moment passes as Lisa drinks him in. He watches her with an expression that's full of relief and warmth, like a sunrise on a new day.
It is a new day, she supposes. This evening together could be the start of something new between them if she can just allow herself to take the chance.
She thinks about that night she found him on her doorstep in the cold, the messages…. The flowers.
"I… I haven't thanked you properly yet," she says softly when the air between them grows thick. A vision of pale pink blooms fills her mind. Rick frowns slightly.
"Thanked me? Thanked me for what?"
"For the flowers you sent me," she blushes. She's not sure why her cheeks suddenly feel so hot. "They were lovely. And I appreciated the gesture a great deal."
"I should have sent them a long time ago."
Lisa doesn't know what to say to that. The remorse in his voice is unexpected and the silence grows thick until Rick clears his throat and glances away.
"Well, uh, please. Make yourself comfortable," he motions towards the sofa.
"Thank you," she says, grateful for the heaviness to be momentarily dispelled. She smooths her dress under her as she takes a seat, expecting Rick to join her but he doesn't. Instead, he ducks back into the kitchen.
"Would you like a glass of wine?" he calls out over his shoulder. "I asked Claudia what you like to drink and she suggested I find you some of this."
He reappears in the doorway holding up a bottle and even from the short distance away where she sits, Lisa spies a familiar logo. A small gasp of amazed delight escapes her.
"Oh! That's my favourite, Rick. How did you even find that?"
He smiles in relief as he ventures back into the room. He places two wine glasses down on the coffee table in front of her then produces a bottle opener from the pocket of his jeans.
"That's strictly classified, Captain," he winks at her and Lisa watches him closely as his brows furrow in concentration as he works on opening the bottle. She hadn't had a real chance before now to admire how attractive he looks out of his uniform in dark denim and a button up shirt in a soft buttery tone.
He pours the wine into a glass then hands it to her with a theatrical bow. "For you, m'lady."
"Oh, thank you," she says, bemused and taken by surprise by his lightheartedness after so much tension between them. Their fingers brush as she takes the glass from his hand and awareness zings through her of just how close he is.
"You're welcome. How is it?"
He waits patiently until she takes a sip. She closes her eyes to savor the mouthful, knowing that wine like this was rare as gold in the years following the Rain of Death and likely never to be made again. There were synthetic versions created by the industrious civilians aboard the SDF-1 but their creations would never compare to the genuine article. She hums in pleasure as the flavour bursts on her tongue and a small voice at the back of her mind warns her she will need to go slow. She will need to keep her wits about her tonight and the wine goes down a little too easily.
"It's delicious. You have excellent foresight, Captain Hunter."
"Was that a compliment, Captain Hayes?"
Her lips twitch behind her glass. She takes another sip. "I've been known to give them out on occasion. I can't imagine this wine came cheap, though."
He shrugs, nonchalant but his eyes are flushed with a mixture of pleasure and relief. "Anything to get back on your good side, Lisa."
Lisa finds herself flushing at that. He was certainly working hard on his objective now. "And what did you have to give up?"
"Skull One," he says regretfully as he places the wine bottle down on the table. "Looks like I'll be walking everywhere from now on."
Lisa can't help the small laugh that escapes her at the mental image his mournful comment invokes. She feels warm and when she looks up, he's watching at her with a smile that seems almost indulgent before he breaks himself out of the moment with a nervous rub against the back of his neck.
"I'd better go check on dinner. It should be ready soon."
"Need any help?" Lisa asks, thinking about the all the times in the past that they had eaten together. None of those occasions had quite the same things at stake as tonight's effort but Lisa still wants to offer.
Rick shakes his head wryly and waves her away. His thoughts must have travelled along the same path hers had. "Not tonight. I want to do this for you, Lisa. I need to."
"Oh. Alright then," she agrees hesitantly, not sure what else she should say and not prepared to argue.
Rick heads back into the kitchen and soon she's listening to the sounds of pots and pans clanging together. She smiles to herself when he starts to hum loudly as he busies himself with preparing the meal. Lisa is grateful for his preoccupation; it gives her a much needed chance to adjust to the changes in their dynamic. She hadn't been entirely sure what she would be greeted with when she had arrived tonight – more heated words, perhaps? But instead Rick has been solicitous and cautious and even playful and Lisa isn't entirely sure what to make of it all.
Dinner turns out to be a pleasure. Rick keeps the food unassuming - a simple pasta dish with a rich homemade sauce, some fresh bread and a small salad but in Lisa's eyes, he has outdone himself. She's speechless by the care and attention he's put into the meal and it doesn't escape her attention that he had chosen to prepare something that he knew ranked among her favorites.
He's been thinking of her. She can see it clearly in everything he's done - the photo, the meal, the wine. All this time she had thought that he didn't care, that he hadn't been paying attention, but somewhere deep down he had been all along.
She's almost too overcome by the realization to eat, but the pasta and fresh bread is aromatic enough that it reminds her she hasn't eaten since a hastily snatched coffee break in the Officers mess hours earlier. She picks up her fork just as Rick does the same.
"This looks lovely, Rick."
His mouth curves in a smile but this time it doesn't quite reach his eyes. He's nervous, she realizes, startled. As nervous as she is.
"Don't speak too soon," he says dryly. "You haven't tasted it yet."
"I'm sure it's delicious."
He hesitates, suddenly looking uneasy and Lisa feels the sudden change in the atmosphere around them immediately. "Rick, what is it?"
It feels like a long time before he can bring himself to answer.
"I hope this is enough, Lisa. This… date- " he emphasizes the word and Lisa's heart thumps painfully in her chest in a strange mixture of relief and fear. "-It might not be some fancy restaurant but I know how much you love Italian food and I... uh-"
"I don't need fancy," Lisa rushes to reassure him. All Lisa has ever wanted was something real. She had hoped she could have that with Rick, built on shared history, trust and friendship. He can't possibly know how much his actions over the past few days have healed the pained cracks in her heart. "I don't need bright lights and fancy restaurants."
Unlike some, the thought snakes unbidden and unwelcome through her mind.
Rick's eyes flash up to study her face and too late she realizes he's thinking it too. And just like that, Minmei's glittering specter looms over them.
Rick looks like he's struggling with what to say and Lisa wishes she could take back those last few words. She sighs inwardly with frustration. Even when she's not mentioned by name, somehow Miss Minmei always seems to be there, hovering around the edges and breathing down Lisa's neck. Lisa almost starts to despair if she will ever be free of the pop princess or if Minmei will forever be the third person haunting her relationship with Rick no matter what form it takes.
"But sometimes I might want to spoil you," he says tightly after a moment.
Lisa takes a breath before she answers. "And you're welcome to, Rick," she tells him, a blush stealing across her cheeks at the dizzying thought of Rick spoiling her. What could that possibly entail? Does she dare hope? If tonight is any indication, Rick is going to sweep her off her feet. "As long as you understand I don't need it."
Rick looks back at her, a slight tightness around his mouth. The last thing Lisa wants is their night spoiled, or for Rick to be thinking about Minmei when he's with her so she forces a smile and reaches for her wine. She quickly changes the subject, steering the conversation back to them and the meal they're sharing. "I can't remember the last time anyone cooked for me. This is special, Rick."
Instantly his expression changes. The stiffness across his shoulders eases and he glances up at her from under that mop of dark hair she adores so much. "Yeah?" he says, hopeful.
"Mhm. I hope you know I appreciate the effort you've gone to."
His cheeks go adorably pink. "It, uh… it was nothing, really. The least I could do."
Lisa has to hide her smile. "Well, I appreciate it none the less."
His face flushes ever so slightly but he hesitates to take a bite until Lisa has her first taste. It's as flavorsome as she knew it would be and she tells him as much.
They both begin to eat.
Despite the simplicity of the meal, it was clear to Lisa now, even in the deepest, most doubtful part of her, that Rick wasn't playing games any longer. She may have been able to pretend before that she could keep him at arm's length, save whatever shred of her dignity that was left, but she can't anymore.
But there's a comfort in sharing a meal with Rick. It's familiar and easy despite their twisting and reshaping relationship and Lisa is grateful to discover that even under the weight of past hurts and misunderstandings, their friendship is still the beating heart of the bond between them.
To begin with, they keep their conversation light, discussing inane, casual subjects before delving into discussing the continuing reconstruction efforts and the RDF's plans for the future – subjects that are never far from either of their minds. She tells him about the rumors of a new academy in the works and Rick regales her with some good natured complaints about the abysmal flight scores from the latest batch of new recruits. His indignant and animated retelling of one of the most recent incidents in the simulators makes Lisa laugh out loud and it's a bright peel of happiness that catches them both by surprise.
A wistful expression flickers over Rick's face at the sound but he covers it quickly with a mock scowl.
"Well, I'm glad you can laugh about it, Captain. I'm not so sure my nerves will ever recover."
"I'm sure you have it all under control."
He snorts mildly then throws her an amused glance over his plate. "Got any tips for wrangling cocky, over-confident trainee pilots for me?"
Lisa's lips twitch as she takes a sip of her wine. "Oh, I'm sure I can offer you a few. There was one I distinctly remember dealing with that was particularly troublesome."
Rick pauses mid chew and his eyes narrow. "Oh, really?"
Lisa fights back a smirk, delighting in ruffling his feathers just a tiny bit. Rick has had her so off kilter recently, especially after his pestering over the tac net that she doesn't mind needling him just a little in return.
"Mhm," she nods as she places her glass down. "Although, I'm not sure how successful I've been in taming that one," she adds with a dismissive shrug. She takes another bite of her pasta.
There's a small silence and Lisa glances up to find Rick watching her intently.
"More successful than you know," he says quietly.
Warmth curls inside her at his words and he surprises her by reaching across the table and taking her hand. "I've really missed you, Lisa."
Lisa's heartrate flutters against her throat. Neither of them can ignore the elephant in the room any longer and Lisa isn't entirely sure she even wants to.
"I missed you too, Rick," she answers. "I really did."
He's still as her words settle over him but then he seems to shake off the moment. The next time he looks up at her, the light is back in his eyes and his easy smile is as irreverent as ever.
But he doesn't let go of her hand.
They finish their meal with their fingers still linked. Every now and then, Rick gives her a gentle squeeze that sends her heat whooshing through her veins and it's only when he has to gather up their plates that he finally lets go.
Lisa offers to help him clean up but Rick sternly mock orders her to sit down and relax and she finds herself throwing her hands up in amused surrender. "Alright, alright, I know when I've been told."
"Now, that's more like it, Captain."
She laughs and moves back to the sofa with another glass of wine, surprised to find the bottle is almost empty. There's a warm glow lighting her up from the inside but as she watches Rick move about in the kitchen, she knows it's not just from the wine.
She stares into her glass and wonders if this could be a small snapshot of what a life with Rick might feel like. Could they really build something together, take their relationship further? Simple meals, easy company, the gentle teasing. They've been through a lot together but they've both grown during the war, both in different ways. She likes the way he moves, how he can be so cunning and lethally shrewd battling in the skies, but just a little hopeless when it came to navigating life on the ground. Can she be the one to help ground him, she wonders. Or is he better with someone else with their heads in the clouds as much as him? Someone like Minmei? A memory of the two of them together flashes through her mind and Lisa has to admit what a handsome couple they've always made together. The dashing war hero pilot, the much loved media starlet – she wouldn't be able to escape it. They would be all over the tabloids, even more so than they were now.
But Rick would probably have to give up his flying to live that life, something Lisa isn't sure she would never ask him to do. Privately she wonders if Minmei would then experiences an inward burn that she's so uncharitable towards the singer. She doesn't hate Minmei, as much as she wishes she could, despite Lisa still considering her to be her competition in the fight for Rick's affections.
What was it her father would always tell her? You can't win the game if you don't play the game, Lisa. Remember that.
But if she lets herself take the leap… Perhaps not a lot would even change for them. Rick had no intention of resigning his commission, he was as committed to the new world they were trying to build as much as she was. They could both stay in the service, they could continue with the rebuilding and maybe… maybe they could even start a family like Max and Miriya had.
A strange, wistful longing washes over her at the thought of having Rick's children – of raising a child together. If it was a boy, they could call him Roy-
"A penny for your thoughts?" Rick says as he approaches, startling Lisa out of her reverie. She jumps slightly, almost spilling the wine. It swirls around in the glass dangerously and she hurries to place it on the coffee table in front of her.
"Oh," she gasps, her cheeks burning.
"You were a million miles away there."
He takes a seat at her side and places two small bowls onto the table.
"I was day dreaming," she laughs quietly, embarrassed to be caught out. She presses one hand to her face, grateful for the low light of the lamp in the corner of the room to hide the burn of her scorched cheeks.
Rick looks at her oddly, his head tilted to the side. "About me, I hope."
He's teasing but Lisa only flushes harder. If only he knew the direction of her thoughts. Would he be scared off by her mentally drawing Lisa Hunter on all the spare spaces of her mind? She laughs inwardly to herself. Probably.
She turns her focus instead onto the two bowls Rick had put down - a decadent dessert full of chocolate and cream. Her eyes grow wide. "Oh, Rick, I couldn't possibly eat another bite!"
Rick picks up a bowl and a spoon and feigns hurt. "But you have to. I slaved away all day making this."
"But it's too much," she tries to wave him off but suddenly he's zooming his spoon slowly through the air. Schooling his face into an intently serious expression, he mimics the sound of a static burst then affects his best Skull-Leader-over-the-com voice.
"This is Skull Leader, requesting clearance for landing. Come in, Captain Hayes."
Lisa narrows her eyes as he flies the spoon around once again. He wasn't really trying to spoon feed her, was he? Perhaps he had mistaken her for Dana.
Rick's lips twitch and the corners of his eyes crinkle with humor. "Come in, Captain Hayes."
"You're ridiculous," she informs him primly, sticking her nose into the air.
His response is to make another silly plane sound, louder this time and she snaps her gaze to him only to find his eyes bright with mischief. Her heart can't help the mirth that dances up inside her with every bizarre engine noise he makes. She tries so hard to hide her amusement but she's also quite sure that if she swallows another bite she just might explode.
"Captain Hayes," he coaxes once again. He's still trying to keep a serious face but at her mock glare, his expression breaks and he dissolves into laughter.
Oh, Rick, she thinks, drowning in the sound of it. Lisa finds herself falling in love with him just that little bit deeper.
Oblivious to the freefall of her heart, Rick clears his throat and reverts back to attempted seriousness. He waggles the spoon again, carefully so that none of the cream and chocolate goes flying.
"You're not getting off that easily, Captain," he tells her firmly.
She purses her lips and shakes her head in firm denial but it doesn't deter him in the slightest. He keeps moving the spoon closer, even when she holds up a hand to signal stop. He doesn't relent and she doesn't give in and the end result is a gentle collision of cream against her mouth. Whether his aim was off due to too much wine or if he had planned it that way, she's not entirely sure but she watches in fascination at the way his entire body goes still and his gaze suddenly drops to her mouth when she darts her tongue out to lick the sweetness around her mouth away.
He swallows thickly, the silly airplane noises quickly forgotten. A wild thrill rises up inside Lisa when she realizes the effect she seems to have on him. There's something there she hasn't seen before, something in his eyes that makes her feel overheated and… desired. Rick had mostly held himself in check with her, to the point she wasn't entirely sure if he even saw her as a woman except that she remembers how hungrily he had kissed her back on the bridge of Breetai's ship despite declaring she would have to make it an order for him to go along with it in the first place.
She wonders now if that kiss had haunted him as much as it had haunted her. Was his initial reluctance something else? Too close to something he didn't want to admit even to himself perhaps?
Noting the sudden yearning in his eyes makes her think maybe she had been wrong to underestimate his physical attraction to her. She can see it now - it's written plainly across his face. It's unmistakably hungry, unmistakably needy. It should alarm her but instead the knowledge coils and settles into her core that she has the ability to make him react that way. It's her that makes his eyes turn dark and his voice crack when he finally tries to speak.
It's an intoxicating realization.
His earlier mischievousness is long gone when Rick finally pulls his stare away from her mouth and their eyes meet. The longing she experiences – that sweet ache just behind her breastbone that makes her want to reach for him - is reflected back on her through his eyes.
"Lisa, I'm… I'm really glad you came tonight," he says hesitantly, all his previous humor forgotten.
"I'm glad I came too," she whispers. She's caught up in his eyes, swimming in a blue sea, all soft and languid.
Without breaking their stare, Rick drops the spoon into the bowl on the coffee table but the clatter it makes against the glass barely even registers. Lisa can't take her eyes off him, her breath tight in her chest and unable to escape the notion that this may be one of the most significant moments of her life.
The bob of his throat is the only hint that he is as vividly affected as she is.
She aches to reach for him but somehow her body refuses to move. She wants to speak but there's nothing she can say to put into words how desperately she wants him to kiss her. Can he sense the power he has over her in this instant? That just one touch from him will shatter every carefully erected barrier that's ever existed around her heart?
"Lisa," he murmurs, his voice rough in a way she's never heard it before. His eyes have turned dark, like stormy skies over the ocean. "Can… Can I kiss you?"
In lieu of a verbal answer she knows she can't form, she simply closes her eyes and lifts her chin. It's a perfect reprise of another moment long ago, in a distant star system with danger all around them but her stomach fills with the same butterflies. This time, she feels the gentle touch of his fingers on her cheek first and her eyelids flutter, but then his lips covers hers, warm and tender.
Their mouths fit together perfectly, but of course she always knew they would and the touch is sweet and unhurried in a way their original kiss in front of Dolza never could have been. Her limbs grow weak, the wine consumed with dinner making her body turn boneless and her heart sing in blissful contentment.
Lisa allows herself to linger in the moment, drinking it in and memorizing every beat, hoping beyond hope that there will be many more moments just like it to follow.
It's not their first kiss, but it's the first one that really matters.
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Rick had been given a taste of Lisa all those years ago when they were captives on Dolza's command ship and while it hadn't been a hardship at the time – quite pleasant, in fact – he was completely unprepared for how breathtaking it was to kiss Lisa now with all their years of history, friendship and affection blooming in the spaces between them.
Lisa is soft against his mouth, sweet and placid in a way that makes his world feel blurred around the edges. It's filled with a dreamlike quality, soft and fuzzy not totally unlike like what they experience when they undertake a space fold.
And any doubts he may have secretly harboured are long gone in wake of that simple kiss.
He kisses her again, sweetly and deliberately, still hesitant after all the turmoil that had brewed between them. The weeks without her have dragged and he wants to savour this. He wants to savour the way she melts into him, one hand curling into his shirt and gripping it tightly as though she's afraid he might try to escape.
Rick almost wants to laugh at that. His days of trying to escape from her lips are long over.
He curls his hands around the slim curve of her waist and draws her closer. He feels her smile against his mouth and he thinks about how that has to mean he's doing this right and it makes him feel a little bit more daring, a little bit braver and it makes him think that maybe, just maybe, this is what love might feel like.
That thought skitters through his mind on a blur as nebulous as smoke but it's soon forgotten as he threads one hand into her silky hair, cupping the back of her head gently as he strives to deepen the kiss. Lisa responds to him like he hoped she would, parting her lips and moving with him in an easy rhythm he knew they could find together. She sighs against him and allows him to chase the taste of wine on her tongue. It's startling how everything about her fits against him so beautifully but Rick reminds himself to tread carefully. Not too much too soon, although by the sweet way Lisa responds to him, he wonders if he's given her enough.
After a long while they reluctantly pull apart. He's lightheaded and breathless, drunk on the taste of her mouth. It takes him a moment to focus and he finds her shyly pressing her palms to her pink cheeks, futilely trying to hide the flush that spreads across them. Already her lips are a blush rose from their kisses and on some primal level deep inside him, Rick relishes the knowledge that she looks like that because of him.
He tries to disguise how intensely she had affected him by forcing out a small chuckle. Even with past experience telling him how weak her kiss could make him, it was still a struggle to find his cool.
"That good, huh?" he teases mildly. "Maybe if I had kissed you like that the first time, the war might have been over a lot sooner."
Lisa pulls her hands away and huffs out a small laugh. He's wary of the way she avoids his eye suddenly and alarms ring briefly when she moves away slightly and sits up, primly smoothing out her dress over her knees. If he hadn't seen the tell-tale twitch of her mouth, he might have been concerned he said something to offend her.
"That sounds like to me that you may be over estimating your abilities, Captain."
She follows that with a coy glance and Rick blinks once before letting loose a breathless laugh that makes it feel like butterflies are exploding from his chest. He shakes his head. "Always there to put me in my place, aren't you, Captain Hayes?"
"Well, of course. Someone needs to keep you in line."
A cautious hope leaps in Rick's chest. There's an opening here, an opening to broach what it is he really wants from her – and its more than just companionship over dinner and sweet kisses on the sofa.
"And are you volunteering for the job, ma'am?"
He sees as soon as he says the words that she knows what he's asking for. Their evening had gone beyond his wildest dreams, but it still may not mean she's ready to take a chance on him again. And he badly wants her to, he realises. He badly wants Lisa in his life.
He thought he could live with being her friend if it meant that she wouldn't request reassignment to the factory satellite, but perhaps he hasn't grown up as much as he told himself he had, because he knows in that moment that just friendship won't be enough.
He wants everything, but he's not sure he has the right to ask.
She grows quiet and the playful light fades from her eyes. She looks down at her lap, fiddling with a non-existent stray thread as she gathers her thoughts.
With every second that passes, Rick feels his hope slipping. Maybe the dinner wasn't enough, maybe the kiss wasn't enough. Maybe she won't ever be able to move past his selfishness that day in Monument City.
His stomach churns uneasily.
"Rick, before I give you my answer, I need to ask you something important… Only I'm not quite sure how to say it."
Hope once again flares in Rick's chest. "Ask me. Just come right out and say it. I promise I'll answer you truthfully, Lisa."
Lisa raises her head and regards him silently for a moment and Rick has to swallow down a intense wave of frustration. Despite their kiss, a chasm as wide as the distance from here to Pluto yawned suddenly between them. He tries to squash down his panic - he can't seem to find his footing where Lisa was concerned. Instead of the leap he was prepared to take, it felt an awful lot like he was shuffling one step forwards and two steps back in some crazed, painful dance that he could never hope to know the steps to.
"Rick, I… I don't want to have to ask this, but I promised myself I wouldn't let myself be humiliated again-"
Rick winces inwardly. So that was the problem. He had long since tried to console himself with the fact that if she had just stopped to listen that day in the park, she would have realised there was nothing sinister going on.
It doesn't forgive him for leaving her there all day though. For sitting at the bar to in an attempt to drown out the voice in his head that berated him again and again. He should have flown back to New Macross the moment Kyle dragged Minmei out of the restaurant. Lisa would have still been at the cafe, he wouldn't have been caught up in the uprising and they probably would have been able to salvage their date. Who knows where they would be now if he'd done that.
"- but I need to know your feelings for Minmei. I need to know if you still love her."
Until now, he hadn't given much more than a passing thought to Minmei that to hear her name – especially out of Lisa's lips - was jarring. He was naive to think Lisa would believe him that he had put his feelings for Minmei aside, not after he had dragged the misery of their pathetic excuse for a relationship around with him for years.
He tells himself he had to know this moment would come. That he would have to eventually own up to his feelings for Minmei to Lisa if they were to have any hope at all together.
And the truth was… Yes, he did still love Minmei. It was impossible to go through the things they had together and not form some sort of attachment. And it was true that in the beginning, he had harboured hopes of making her his girlfriend and he'd loved the shiny ideal of her from afar, but it had been a long time since he'd fallen asleep thinking about her or woken up with her on his mind. It turned out that that particular honour had fallen a long time ago to a sharp gazed, green eyed commander instead.
The fact of the matter now was that although he did and always would love Minmei, he simply wasn't in love with her. Not anymore.
"I promised I would tell you the truth, Lisa," he starts, resisting the urge to squirm. His face feels hot and his heart thumps wildly. After that kiss, he realises that he has so much more to lose if Lisa decides she's not prepared to take another chance. Part of him wants to deny, deny, deny, to fill Lisa's head with empty platitudes, tell her all the things he thinks a woman wants to hear but he forces himself to meet her gaze unflinchingly. He owes Lisa the truth and whether she forgives him or not, he'll be able to walk away knowing that at least in this… he was honest. "So I will. And… yes. I do still love Minmei, and I probably always will, but I'm-"
He watches her close her eyes and turn her face away and he rushes to continue. "Lisa, wait," he says tenderly, gingerly reaching out to take her chin and turning her face back to him. Ever courage under fire, Lisa meets his gaze unflinchingly, almost a hit of challenge in her eye as though daring him to even try and take her for a fool.
He hadn't realised how much he adored that spark and his feelings for her grow undoubtable in a way they've never been before. "I do love Minmei, but I'm not in love with her. Because… Because I love you, Lisa."
Where had that come from? And how did I not realise it until now? I love Lisa. I love her!
Time freezes and the stunned refrain echoes through his mind. It was a truth he hadn't quite admitted to himself and the words hang heavy and bold in the air between them. But he doesn't regret saying them when he realises they had been there deep inside him all along.
He's willing to stand behind the conviction of those words. He's ready to lay it all on the line.
For Lisa, he would do anything.
Lisa's eyes widen and shimmer and a soft gasp falls out of her. She shakes her head slightly, as though she's trying to shake off the lethargy of a dream. "Wh- what did you say, Rick?"
In her lap, her hand trembles and Rick reaches out to grasp it.
"I swear I'll make you happy," he says but there's a tightness in his throat that makes it hard to get the words out. Now that they're on his tongue, he wonders why he's never said them before. "I'll take care of you, Lisa. I love you."
There's a small sound, like a cross between a hiccup and a sob, and then Lisa is trying to wipe the moisture from her eyes. "Rick…"
"I do," he says again, his voice cracking. "I love you."
She stares at him, and he holds himself still. If he hovers in this moment, if he stays right here, there's no risk he will hear her rejection.
She reaches up and traces her fingertips along his jaw. Her gaze is full of a glimmering softness. "I love you too, Rick," she says quietly. Her thumb brushes over his lip and for a moment he wonders if she'll kiss him again. "But I suppose you already knew that."
He wants to sag with relief but he schools his mouth into a regretful smile instead. The past few weeks, her temper and her distance had shaken everything in him.
"For a while there, I wasn't sure if you even liked me."
She blinks in surprise then lets out a soft gasp that might be a held back laugh. She slides her hand into the hair at the back of his neck and draws him close, touching their foreheads together.
"Oh, Rick," she says softly. Happily. He basks in her touch as her slim fingers thread through his hair and the scent of her subtle perfume fills his nose. He feels full and content and more than a little grateful.
After a long moment, he clears his throat. "Would it be alright if I kissed you again?"
His request has the desired effect. She leans back and throws him an exasperated frown. "You don't have to ask every time you want to kiss me, Rick."
"You never know," he teases her gently as he gathers her close. His heart is so light now that she finally knows how he feels and she folds into his arms willingly. "I wouldn't want to end up court marshalled for getting handsy with a superior officer or anything."
She laughs shakily and he tilts his head down to press their mouths together once again. He almost sighs into the kiss this time - there's relief there, relief that she is willing to take another chance on him when she's already given him plenty, relief that he has finally been able to shake off the shackles of old dreams and hopes. Relief that she knows his heart and he knows hers.
He feels like he's taken a step forward, he's grown up, and he hopes that wherever Roy is, he's proud of him.
You've done good, little brother.
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