Chapter Warning: Sexual activity, sexual terms.

Risa Koizumi POV

Yup, of course, I started crying. Not like full-water works sobbing, but I was getting all teary-eyed. Right in the middle of my first real sexual experience. He didn't have to be so nice about everything. God, I hated how crazy I was about him.

Otani had gone out of his way, constantly, trying to make me feel more comfortable about everything. And now he was thanking me. I had to cry, I mean really, what else was there to do? He was just being way too sweet.

I held tightly to him for a while, before I slowly started to realize… my bare chest was touching his. My boobs were touching him. I mean, my nipples were practically pushed in right below his collarbone.

Feeling awkward all over again, but still pretty darn emotional, happy, and sad, I took my body off of his. I broke away from our hug, looked down at my chest, and saw my bra was totally gone.

Searching around the bed for it, I finally found that my bra was across Otani's legs!

Ah!

I ripped my hand down to swipe my bra back, but as I did, I felt it.

My fingers grazed upon it.

Stuck still, I held my bra loosely with my fingers out, shocked at what they just touched. Eyes open wide, I looked at Otani, stunned. He was giving me a similar look back. Except his look was filled with more embarrassment, whereas I was more terrified.

"Um…" He fumbled out.

My eyes drifted back down to his crotch, despite my best efforts to stay away. Curiosity got the best of me. "Otani," I tilted my head at his pants, trying to figure it out, "Are you… excited?"

Peeking up at him, since I had motioned way closer to his lower half than I thought, his face was coated with blushes, "Koizumi!" He shouted, in objection.

I sat back up, "What?"

"You can't just ask that…" his eyes shifted, nervously. I blinked at him, and he replied with shame, "...but yeah, I am I guess."

"Oh," I nodded slightly, like he had told me something totally normal, like it was gonna rain later.

He picked at his fingers, "I wouldn't have said it that way though."

Seriously, I took his hands, "How am I supposed to say it?" I asked, taking this opportunity to get some guidance. Nobuko's advice could only get me so far.

Otani squinted, probably doubting me, "For real?" I held strong and he gave me a suggestion, "Well, you could say it's hard."

"Hard?" I bulked, confused.

"Yeah," he shrugged his shoulders, "That's what people say… like I'd call your boobs soft and you'd call-"

"My boobs are soft?!" I glanced down at my chest, and crept my hands close to touching them, before stopping myself. Not wanting Otani to watch me.

"...yes?" He looked at me equally confused. We both seemed to be at a loss with all this stuff, maybe he had never done anything like this before.

I knelt forward, my hands resting on the bed by his knees. My head tilted to him, "Can I feel it?"

His eyes went big. Silently, he nodded rapidly and repeatedly. "Mmhmm," he mustered out. So, over his pants, I lowered one of my hands down to his penis. Or at least the bulge that I was assuming was his penis.

There I was touching the top of it with my palm.

Hm.

I said what I was thinking out loud, "I guess it is hard." I chuckled a little bit, "I don't know if that's the word I would use though…"

Otani brushed his hand over the top of my head, lightly passing through my hair. "Oh shut it."

I laughed obnoxiously.

My hand just held on him.

"Hey, Koizumi?" He began, and I matched his gaze, "You can see it, if you want."

"Oh." I thought for a second, then took my hand back, "Okay."

Otani got up from the bed. Standing in the middle of the room, facing me, he started to unzip his pants.

I turned on the bed so I was facing out to the room again. We had moved around quite a bit.

As he opened up the fly of his pants, revealing his underwear, I became increasingly aware of the fact I was still sitting there with just my pants on. I felt too naked without my shirt.

I reached out for it, in a crumpled heap on the bed. Otani caught my eye, so I said, "I'm putting my shirt back on, it feels too weird with it off."

Otani gave a small nod, his hands holding steady at the waistband of his pants. His head peered up to me, "I should keep going, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," I crossed one of my legs over the other as I pulled my shirt down, "Go for it."

He let out a "Heh" type of laughter and continued. His pants moved down from his hips to his legs. One leg at a time, he slid out, till he was just in his underwear. A pair of dark gray boxers, where I could see a bulge in the middle.

What's gonna happen?

Before I was freaking out, but now I felt strangely calm. Like if someone had told me I'd be, for the most part, calmly waiting to see a boy naked for the first time as he took his pants off, I'd call you a liar. I exclaim that I for sure would find any boy doing that a crazy pervert.

His thumbs dipped into the elastic waist of his boxers. He chuckled, "I hope it's alright, it's the only one I got."

Absentmindedly, not even thinking of the implications, I stated, "Well, it's not like I've got anything to compare it to."

He stared up at me, "Huh?"

"Oh," I felt myself getting hot, "It's just I've never really seen one before. I guess I've seen them in health books and like I have a brother but that was only when we were kids so—"

He cut me off, "It's okay. Your boobs were the first ones I've seen…" He mocked me, "...except for my moms and maybe my sister's, I guess, but ew."

I groaned and asked, "Well then, when you show it to me can you tell me what to do?"

He grumbled, "Wow, that would have been helpful for me, but okay…" His face lit up, he smirked, looking up at me through his eyelids, "You're gonna touch it?"

I looked away, "Um yeah, I guess I could try."

He laughed, "Then, I'll help you, for sure."

And with that, his underwear was coming down. He pulled and out of the middle popped his penis. I was a little scared to look at first, but I turned my head and peeked out of the corner of my eye.

Then, I saw it.

"Oh," I sighed with relief, "It's not that bad!"

"Gee, thanks Koizumi," he fussed.

Leaning forward, almost off the bed, I reached my hand out, "So, should I touch it?" I asked, but it was pretty apparent I was going for it anyway.

"Yeah."

Otani stepped closer. My hand touched him, his penis connecting with my palm, and my fingers falling around it. My brain was searching for something to do. I didn't want to close my hand together and squeeze it too hard. I got stuck just holding it, weakly.

"Koizumi," Otani whined, "Can you say something?"

Turning my head up to him, I reminded him, "I... I don't know what to do."

"Well, you could react to seeing it for the first time a little," he grumbled under his breath.

"Oh," I perked up, "Like tell you what I'm thinking?"

His eyes rolled. "Yeah, you don't have to say it's amazing or anything, but jeez when a guy shows his dick to you he's laying a lot out on the line."

"Well, hey, that's not fair!" I retorted, "You didn't say my boobs were soft until later, in passing." My hand still rested on the top of his penis as we argued, "I bared myself to you and all you said was derrrrr…" I mocked his face brainlessly looking at my boobs.

"I did not do that!"

"Yeah, you did, you were like, uhhhh…" After I teased him again, I admitted something, "I had to ask you if they were all right because I was worried you thought they were too small. And that you didn't find me attract-"

Otani cut me off by placing his hand on my shoulder. He shook his head, "That's not what I think. I like them, honest." My heart beated. It was just so difficult for me to believe Otani really found me sexually appealing. Like I had no sexiness about me. His face fell and he spoke slowly, like he was shy, "That's how it is for me too, don't you understand?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm worried too, that you might think-"

My voice broke in, interrupting him, loudly, "But, it's not small!"

His head flicked up.

He reacted shocked and offended, after his anxious expression faded away, "Well, obviously I'm small Koizumi, but just not everywhere!"

So stupid.

This boy was so funny, I swear. Maybe, somewhere deep down I was thinking about what he would look like… naked. But, honestly, I did not really care about his size. I loved Otani too much for who he was to care about something trivial like that. At least, it felt trivial to me. Maybe other people don't feel that way… It could be that I was an outlier, I already liked a guy way shorter than me. I had decided a long time ago: I like who I like, so what?

Coming out of my laughter, I told him somewhere between joking and serious, "No, no, I was kinda worried it'd be weird and scary looking." I waved my hand in front of my face, "So when I said it's not that bad, that's what I meant."

"Oh," he paused, and looked down at my hand, which was still lightly holding on to him, "Can you move your hand?"

I stared blankly at him. "How?" Mostly, I was asking, because I was too afraid to do the wrong thing.

His eyelids shut a little, "Just back and forth, whatever you're okay with."

With caution, I began to try. My hand cupped around his penis and moved down its length. I witnessed Otani's reaction. He shut his eyes.

"Move back up," he instructed, and I attempted to follow, sliding my hand back to the top.

"Like this?"

"Yeah, could you keep—" I pushed my hand back down, closing my fingers together just a bit more. His head tilted back, "Eh," he moaned.

"Are you okay?!" I questioned, crazy worried.

I think his eyes opened, looking right at the ceiling, "Yes yes," he said quickly, "Do that again."

"Do what?"

His head came back down. He looked me in the eyes, with a soft expression, "You can squeeze it. It feels good, trust me, you're not gonna break it."

I licked my lip, and accepted, "Okay."

Resuming, I cupped the width of his dick and slid my hand down, squeezing my fist together more, but not full pressure. I moved my hand up and down a couple of times.

Otani's eyes were closed and his head jerked around here and there. After a few times, he groaned.

His face returned down to me, his eyes slowly opened, "Koizumi…" he huffed out, his voice husky and his breath panting, "...It's gonna come out."

"Huh?" I jumped, stopping my hand.

He brought his hand down to mine, "You can move out of the way if you want." His hand took control of mine. He guided me down his penis again.

"What's gonna—?"

I was getting scared. I think something like this had been mentioned in health class, but I thought that was only for making babies.

He pushed in on me. Our hands made their way back up. When we were almost at the top, his voice broke, "Koizumi! Move!"

I ducked to the side, getting my head out of the way. A stream of white, solid liquid came out of his penis. It shot towards the bed, but landed on my lap, well, more on my pants near the knee.

Otani let out a heavy gasp. When he came to, he caught a glimpse of the stain on my pants, "Oh, I'm sorry!"

I brought my head back upright again and saw my pants, they weren't completely ruined or anything. I wasn't even mad about it. I was just so shook up about what happened. And it was weird to see this white goo on me.

He rambled, "Do you want me to get a towel? I could wet it and it'd probably come out. Sorry! Gosh, I couldn't hold it in any longer. This is too much, it's crazy—"

Without thinking, I reached a finger out and poked at it.

"AH!" Otani screamed, "Koizumi! Don't touch it!"

With liquid from his body on my finger, I looked up at Otani, standing before me. I baffled, "What?" I touched my pointer finger to my thumb and squashed it between them. My eyes locked on it curiously. "Wow, that came out of you?"

He covered his face with his arm, hiding his eyes in his elbow, "Good god." I saw his penis, flopping down, totally different than before. He chuckled, "You're something else."

Otani bent down and reached for his underwear and pants. At eye level, both near the floor, he gently asked me, "Can I touch you?"

I shook my head, instantly terrified and immediately rejecting, "No."

He reacted surprised, if not confused. And I felt forced to justify myself, even though he didn't ask, "I don't want to!"

He nodded twice, "Okay. I won't." He stood back up, taking his bottoms up with him. "If you don't want to, I really won't. I just feel like kinda an asshole boyfriend, getting off and then not doing anything for you."

I watched him as he zipped on his pants and searched around the room. Turned away from me he said, "So, thanks," then he let our eyes meet, "For everything we did."

His eyes kept on me, so I got out, "Yeah… No problem."

He snickered under his breath, then peaked past me. He mentioned, pushed his hand through his hair, "Hey, what time did your family say you had to be back?"

"Uh… I think 11, no maybe it was 10."

"Oh," he frowned, bummed, and pointed behind me at the digital alarm clock that was probably one of his roommates', "It's 9:35."

I bet I looked pretty bummed out too. I wanted to spend more time with Otani. I feel like I never got to see him. And this had been such a good day together, as awkward and touch-and-go as it had been, I didn't want it to end.

He threw out a line, "You couldn't stay longer?"

I took it, "Um. Maybe. I'd have to come up with a good reason first. Like the train is running late or something."

"Hmm," he thought, "You don't have to lie to your family… but…"

I took out my phone, "I'll just say I can't remember if I was supposed to be back at 10 or 11, and if it was 10 I don't think I'll make the train." I flipped my phone open.

Otani listened while I was on the phone with my mom, who picked up. I explained to her I couldn't remember the time but assured her I was fine and would be home. Maybe she was a little suspicious, but she did not seem that mad.

When I shut my phone and turned around, Otani was back over by the bed. He had put his shirt back on.

I spun myself around on the floor and he sat down. My phone went back in my pocket, and I smiled at him.

He held his arms out to me. "Come here."

I jumped up to him and joined him on the bed. We wrapped our arms around each other.

Kinda embarrassingly, I cried out how much I loved him, saying things like, "I missed you so much!" And "I just want to spend every second with you!"

He laughed quietly and rubbed my back. And out of nowhere, he stated, "Koizumi, you're a good girlfriend." His head crashed down lightly between my neck and shoulder.

Yay!

Hearing him say that made me really happy. I leaned out, away from him, gripping on to his upper arms, "Thanks!" I grinned, beside myself, he bent forward and kissed me quickly. And when we came apart, I proclaimed, "I love you!"

We ended our night by cuddling together, holding each other close, and talking about almost nothing. I remember mixing his hair around with my fingers as his head laid on my shoulder. He told me about school, how his classes had been, what he was learning. I mostly complained about my school, so I guess that's where he's changed and I haven't.

But, eventually, the time came for me to leave. So, Otani walked me to the train station and we parted ways. Not without sharing a kiss goodnight though, and him telling me to "Be safe!"

Also, I might have had to text him when I got home okay, but he wouldn't like me telling anyone that. So, that's all alleged.

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