All I Want For Christmas (Is To Give My Love Away)
The last thing that Addison Montgomery bargained for was to absolutely hate the game of surgical 'secret Santa'.
NINE
Addison slept well last night, a rarity for her in these recent times.
These days, she's often kept up late at night with her own philosophical questions, like 'what does it mean when I dream of kissing a woman!?' or 'why am I sticky?'
After her bath with the lavender-scented candles though, Addison was finally able to offer herself some (temporary?) relief from this madness, and she slept through the night all the way until morning.
"Good morning Derek, good morning Mark!" Addison waltzes in with an entire tray of coffees.
"Well someone had a good night last night," Mark smirks at her, and Addison is so happy that she just brushes him off.
"Good morning Izzie, good morning Alex, good morning Cristina," says Addison as she hands them each a mug.
The interns blink at her several times before they take their respective coffees, thank her, and run off muttering that the 'wicked witch of the east has been tamed,' by some strange force of the universe, and they definitely don't want to jinx it.
"Good morning Richard, good morning Burke," Addison offers a coffee to them too.
"Do you have a mocha latte for me?" Miranda Bailey materializes behind her.
"Sure do," says Addison, handing her a cup also.
"Well, good morning sunshine," remarks a certain blonde intern. "Rumor has it that Satan's grown angel wings, I had to come by to see it myself," says Meredith Grey.
"Coffee?" Addison offers, suddenly nervous.
"Yes please," Meredith accepts politely, holding out her hand for the redhead to place a cup in it.
"I didn't know if you liked sugar, or…" Addison says nervously, her hand uncharacteristically shaking a little.
"This is perfect," Meredith smiles, and Addison smiles back reflexively.
"Great," says Addison, starstruck.
"Thank you," says Meredith, meeting her gaze.
Addison watches as Meredith's eyes dazzle blue-green, and her jaw is still open for a moment as she tries to scramble to keep up the conversation, not wanting to end it just yet.
"Did you have a good evening?" Addison asks her, before realizing what she might be getting herself into.
"Fantastic," says Meredith. "I did a little shopping," she says wickedly, with a glint in her eye.
Shopping. With THAT gift card. For THOSE things. For THAT…
Addison gulps, as she nods along with Meredith, still grinning, and her hands still a little bit shaking.
"Did you have a good evening, Dr. Montgomery?" Meredith quirks an eyebrow at her.
As if she KNOWS.
"Yes…" Addison practically purrs.
"I'm glad," Meredith smirks at her, and then she even winks quickly.
What if she does KNOW!?
"Thanks…" Addison says, her mind in the gutter already, so her voice comes out low and husky.
"No problem…" says Meredith, turning on her heels and walking away again, swaying her hips on purpose for Addison to watch her.
And does Addison ever watch her, her mouth gone dry despite the coffee, just seeing how Meredith's hair flows over her delicate shoulders.
"Dr. Montgomery," another voice calls for her, and Addison nearly gives herself whiplash looking behind her.
"Yes?" Addison questions flatly.
"Are you ready for today's procedure?" Bailey asks her, and Addison remembers she's working with her today.
"Yes," says Addison simply. "I'll be right up," says the redhead, scrambling to get her things together.
"You better not be distracted," Bailey laughs, as she moves to prepare herself.
This time, Addison is visibly disappointed that Dr. Grey is not on her service today, and she's not doing a great job at hiding it, either.
"You don't see something you like, do you," Mark comes up behind her.
"It's fine," Addison huffs in annoyance.
'But you'd rather have Grey, wouldn't you," Mark calls her out on her bluff.
"It's complicated," huffs Addison, before brushing past him. "Also, nice new cardigan, by the way. See, this time it's nearly identical to Derek's," she says.
Of course, when it comes to anything involved with Meredith Grey, it's incredibly complicated.
The surgery isn't complicated though, and it passes by quickly, and it gives Addison the chance to stash her secret Santa gift before lunchtime.
A whole bunch of the interns have gotten their gifts at the same time, and they sit on the downstairs benches to open them.
"Ooh, a stuffed porcupine!" says Izzie.
"Isn't that spiky?" says Cristina, holding out a new fidget cube.
"Now THAT is spiky," Izze points to George's sensory spike fish set.
"Hey, these are great for working the knots out of my hands," George says at his friends poking fun at him.
"Oy, Alex, is that a Christmas ornament?" asks Cristina.
"Yeah," says Alex. "And it's shaped like a syringe," Alex laughs.
"OMG!" says Meredith, as she walks into the room.
"Yo, Mer, what did you get?" asks Alex.
"You wouldn't wanna know," Meredith says coyly.
"Oh, come on," says George.
"You definitely wouldn't wanna know," giggles Meredith.
"Well it can't be as embarrassing as your gift at the bar," offers Cristina.
"Well…" says Meredith, blushing.
"What the hell is it!?" says Izzie.
"I'm not telling you!" says Meredith, as she skips off happily.
"I bet she's just kidding," says George.
"I don't think she's kidding," offers Cristina.
"Who's kidding?" Burke enters the hallway, motioning for a few of the interns to follow him.
"No one," says Izzie, as she poked at Burke's new yoyo.
"Hey, don't touch the yoyo," says Burke, as he moves it up and down again, and tries to do tricks with it.
"Richard, you seem a bit jittery?" says Bailey, as she begins the surgery.
"Must have had too much coffee," he says. "I got some from secret Santa this morning to go with my mug yesterday, and after Addison's, it must have been too many," Richard says.
"Well don't go knocking things down in the O.R," says Bailey. "Or I'll have to wipe it up with my new wet jet mop," she says.
"Your house must be so clean," offers Addison.
"Hey, I have a very young son, you ain't seen clean at my house since he was in my womb," laughs Bailey.
"Well, your secret Santa sure knows what you like," offers Richard.
"True," says Bailey. "What about you, have your secret Santa's figured you out yet?" asks Bailey.
"Yeah, pretty well," offers Richard.
'Like you wouldn't believe,' thinks Addison, idly.
"Yes…" Addison grumbles, but she's smiling beneath her fake-frown.
"Well I'm glad this game is bringing us all closer together," says Richard.
"Yeah, it's nice to have something else to gossip about, other than all these bizarre love triangle-square-pentagon love problems," says Bailey.
'Well, not so sure about that last one,' Addison bites her lip not to say this aloud.
As the day moves forward, Addison discovers that her secret Santa has placed a variety of small gifts all around the hospital for her.
There's a new set of silken pajamas, with shorts and a lace tank top in her mailbox, a few notes scattered around wrapped in wrapping paper, and a sleep mask.
Each little note and gift contains a few lines of song lyrics, and Addison listens to them all and puts them on a playlist.
She finds that she's tired, so she changes into her new sleepwear, and has a little nap midday in one of the on-call rooms, listening to the music playing softly next to her.
Addison feels so recharged and restless afterwards, she just can't wait for what the rest of the day has in store for her.
At this point, Addison reflects on this morning, and she's replaying all of the events involving her and Meredith in her mind and wondering if they were coincidences or if they were deliberate.
When Meredith winked at her, for example, was that because someone had told her somewhat what her gift had been? Or could it be that they'd picked each other for this little game!?
Addison shivers at the thought of that, and she decides that she needs someone to confide about this to.
"Callie!" Addison calls down the hallway, realizing she'd not caught up with the ortho doctor in w little while.
"Addison!" Callie says in mirrored enthusiasm.
"This secret Santa thing, it's hilarious, and stressful, and also causing me a lot of internal conflicts," admits Addison.
"So… Are you glad that I made you participate?" offers Callie.
"I'm not ready to admit that yet," huffs Addison.
"Ha, you basically just did," offers Callie.
"Fine," Addison shrugs. "And what gifts have you been getting, I'm sorry I haven't been asking," says Addison.
"Jewelry mostly, do you like this bracelet?" says Callie, pointing to the beads on her wrist.
"Pretty!" says Addison, moving them around one by one.
They laugh, and joke a little, and Addison confides a little bit in Callie about her starting to have unwanted (though not at all unpleasant), feelings for a woman.
"I think that's okay right?" says Callie.
"What!? I feel like all of the sudden I'm 'speaking the vagina monologues,' or something!" says Addison.
"And if you are?" offers Callie.
"You are not helpful," says Addison, frustratedly.
"Hey, I'm not gonna tell you what to do or not do with your life," offers Callie.
"Thanks," says Addison. "You are a good friend, you know," says Addison.
"You know it," says Callie.
The two of them don't realize that they'd been observed from the other side of the room.
Meredith Grey watches Addison and Callie talk as old friends for the whole lunch time, and it's starting to make Meredith really jealous.
She realizes that Addison and Callie had been friends since they'd both arrived in Seattle, but she never realized they were so close they were whispering into each other's ears.
Meredith frowns a little before she runs away again before being seen, determined to fight just a little harder to win over the redhead's affections.
"Grey… You seem tense?" Addison offers to Meredith the next time she sees her.
"And you look… Glowing…" says Meredith awkwardly.
'Oh wow, she's melting and complimenting me!' thinks Addison.
"I'm so glad that you and Callie are such good… Friends…" Meredith manages, and Addison doesn't quite understand the reason for Meredith's bitterness.
"Yeah, she's nice. I'm glad you have such great friends too," says Addison genuinely.
"Yeah…" says Meredith, softening at Addison's calm demeanor.
"You know, I could go for some hot chocolate, do you want one? I think they have a new candy cane flavor that's supposed to be really nice…" Addison rambles, wanting again to extend their time together.
"You and your Juju," Meredith says affectionately as she follows the redhead to the coffee cart, and Addison hands her a second hot beverage of the day.
"I'll have to start getting some of these for you back," Meredith jokes lightly.
"It's no trouble," says Addison happily.
'I just like to see the way that you smile,' she doesn't say.
"Did you get your secret Santa gift today?" Meredith asks boldly.
"Yes, it came in handy for having a catnap today," says Addison. "It was silken pajamas," she explains, as she realizes that Meredith might not have known that.
"Nice," says Meredith. "I bet they made your body look amazing," Meredith compliments openly.
Addison's heart starts beating ten thousand times faster, and she can't help but picture the blonde admiring her in such a state of undress.
'Meredith Grey watching me as I take them off, piece by piece, pupils blown, admiring me wantonly…' Addison pictures.
"They'd look even better on you," Addison blurts out.
'Meredith Grey. In silken pajamas. That she's taking off, and then she's-' Addison pictures.
"I'll have to try them sometime," Meredith whispers lowly right into Addison's ear as she walks past her, deliberately shifting against Addison's skin to make the redhead squirm.
'Oh, and you will,' Addison thinks in her head, but she can't seem to get up the courage to whisper back.
After that hot chocolate fiasco, Meredith heads home to enjoy Addison's present for her.
She opens the diary once again, reading the sensual words typed out on the paper:
Imagine you and me, alone, in the wilderness until we find each other.
You'll keep me warm, and I'll keep you safe.
In my arms, I will cherish you.
Meredith reads this note over and over and presses it to her chest.
She takes a shower, and indulges one by one in the chocolates that her secret Santa has bought her, reveling in this fluffy towel she's wrapping herself with that has the same inscription as on the note.
Meredith imagines it's a woman's arms enveloping her in this sweet, sweet cocoon.
She'll have to tell her sometime that of all the presents, this one is by far, her favorite.
****** END OF CHAPTER 9