Daria: Winter Is Coming Chapter 14: Renna Warhammer Has A Revelation
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Winter Is Coming*Winter Is Coming*Winter Is Coming
Daria was not a morning person, and when she finally rose, she not only saw that there weren't any clean and dry towels left in the upstairs bathroom, but that there wasn't much hot water left, either. Not surprising, considering that Schloss Morgendorffer had no less than four additional house guests. Still she was able to shower and brush her teeth before going back to her room to brush her hair and then get dressed.
She'd come downstairs expecting to raid the refrigerator and eat her usual pop-tarts. Instead, she found that the breakfast table was crowded and that Melanie had again taken over the kitchen. The sound of eggs cracking in the skillet the next morning inspired Daria's first line in her journal that evening. "We'd spent the rest of that first weekend walking on eggshells," she wrote-which is what most of the Lawndale Morgendorffers did.
"Hey, Daria!" said Melanie.
"Hey," said Daria.
Melanie turned her attention back to cooking. "OK, Uncle Jake, how do you want your eggs?" she said.
"Sunny side up!" Jake said enthusiastically.
"Will do!" said Melanie. She set the mixing bowl aside, got two more eggs, then cracked one and another on the side of the frying pan, deftly dropping their contents into the frying pan before they could spill. Despite Daria's lingering sleepiness, she couldn't help but notice that Melanie was proving surprisingly functional for a dysfunctional extended family like the Morgendorffers.
But then again she wasn't born into it, she thought sardonically.
"Good morning, Dad," said Daria. "Good morning, Mom! Good morning, Uncle Ben. Good morning, Rikka!"
"Good morning, kiddo!" said Jake.
"Good morning, Daria," said Ben.
"So where's Grandma?" asked Daria.
She heard the sound of the downstairs toilet flushing, then said "Oh."
"So your eldest is finally up, Jakey?" Grandma Ruth said a couple of minutes later.
"I decided that breakfast wouldn't be complete without gracing you with my presence," said Daria.
Grandma Ruth looked at her and frowned. "Now if she'd only do something about her appearance," she said.
"Thank you, Grandma," said Daria.
Ben looked over the kitchen and breakfast table and said "I hope we can keep the noise down. This is the first family breakfast we've had in years." He looked around the breakfast table at Mom and his brother's family. Despite Jake's daughter's snark and his health problem, this was more relaxed than the breakfasts he remembered from growing up. Dad sat at the head of the table and everyone tried to be on their best behavior—not because they wanted to be nice to each other, but because they didn't want to set him off.
"So what's the game plan?" said Helen.
"I think I'm going to sit here and relax," said Ben.
"I might run the lawnmower later," said Jake.
"Jake, I don't think you need to bother just yet," said Ben.
"Why not?" said Jake.
"It's only March and we still get snow storms," said Ben. "I think the grass can wait for the whirling blades of doom."
"Oh," said Jake.
"Say, Jake, remember mowing the lawn back in Coalton?" said Ben.
"I sure do," said Jake. "That was a pain in the…" He let the words trail off.
"Dad wanted everything done right and just so," said Ben.
"I'll say," said Jake.
"I hated that lawnmower," said Ben. "That was one thing I didn't miss a bit when I moved out. So what do you use now, Jakey?"
"I use a power motor," said Jake. "I let the engine do most of the work."
"What sort of lawnmower did Grandpa Nathan use, Uncle Jake?" said Melanie.
"He used one of those old-fashioned push-mowers," Jake replied. "He said it built character."
"And he didn't have to pay for the gasoline," said Ben.
"Euuww," said Melanie, who'd taken back her seat at the table.
"Boys, you shouldn't say such things about your father," said Grandma Ruth.
"Mom, we're talking about the old lawnmower, not Dad," said Ben.
"So Rikka, do you remember what they did about cutting the grass in Westeros?" asked Melanie, breaking the silence.
"Not really," said Rikka. "I remember that there were some goats around the inn."
"They probably ate the grass. All you had to worry about was the goat poop," said Daria. sardonically.
"Or whether they'd butt you," said Rikka. "And we had to keep them away from the clothes line."
That would not have been pretty, thought Daria.
"I think some of your father's ancestors kept goats," said Grandma Ruth.
"Really, where?" asked Melanie.
"Back in the old country, before they came over," said Ruth. "Nathan told me about it once."
"Where was the old country?" said Rikka.
"I think it was Austria," said Grandma.
"Did they have a king?" asked Rikka.
"No, they had an Emperor, at least in the Austrian part," said Melanie. "His name was Franz Joseph and he lived a long time. He died during World War One."
"Huh," said Rikka
"I forget, does Baltimore have an NBA team?" asked Melanie.
"No," said Jake. "There's a team in Washington and there's the one in Philadelphia, but Baltimore is without."
"So who are you rooting for, Jake?" said Ben.
"I haven't made up my mind," said Jake.
"I don't think I'm going to make up my mind, either," said Ben.
"So what are you going to do today, Helen?" said Ruth.
"Do some housework, read some legal briefs," said Helen.
"Does your job keep you busy, Aunt Helen?" said Melanie.
"Very," said Helen.
After breakfast was over, Melanie washed the dishes and the Morgendorffers retired to the living room. Daria wondered where her younger sister was and what Jane was up to. Despite her disliking Grandma Ruth, she decided that it probably wouldn't hurt to put in a little time in front of the TV. The blaring Cyclops couldn't suck out too many of her brain cells. Daria decided that her presence could wait; her Dad and Uncle Ben had probably kept the TV set on one of the sports channels. She decided to read the newspaper first, then find a seat.
Daria was engrossed in the paper's front section and tuned out the babble from the television. She missed seeing her Mom engrossed in a legal brief while her Dad and Uncle Ben watched a pack of girls on roller-skates wearing helmets, knee-pads, and arm-guards circling a roller-skating rink. She also missed seeing little Rikka grinning ear-to-ear as she watched the roller girls jockeying for position. She also missed seeing Grandma Ruth gesturing for the television remote. She did hear the sound of the channel being changed and little Rikka saying "But Grandma, I was watching that!" but didn't realize that that was just after the future roller-derby girl Renna Warhammer had discovered her contact sport.
-(((O-O)))—
While working on this chapter much earlier this year, I'd wondered what sorts of sports would interest a true-born daughter of Robert Baratheon. The idea that she'd find roller derby attractive crept up on me unexpectedly and I was surprised to see that it was a natural fit.
I do worry about the health and safety of the other players, though. Fortunately for them, at the narrative time of this chapter, Myrcia "Rikka" Morgendorffer is only ten years old.