It was later than what she wished for. It had been so long since the last time she went to the farmer's market and local grocery store, that her time management skills on it were almost non-existent.

As soon as she entered home, she saw Jane jumping from the couch— quick breathing and flustered. Shit.

J: "Where were you?"

Instantly, Maura rolled her eyes internally, regretting her thoughts right away. This was not who she was. This was not who she was raised to be. Since Jane arrived, she had become deeply aware of her uncharacteristic reactions and lack of sympathy. No matter how happy she was for her to be back, and especially for how safe and loved she made her feel last night, the truth was that she felt more guilty and disgusted with herself as never before. She didn't deserve her.

M: "Shopping. We can't live on take-out and frozen meals. I got you more beer and proper coffee."

J: "Why didn't you say anything? I was so worried!"

M: "I'm not a damn child! I don't need to be taken care of!"

Maura, quickly, shut her eyes and then stared at the floor. Unable to look at her friend, she moved fast to the island counter and placed both hands on top of it, supporting her body as it became harder to breathe. Failing to suppress her tears, she tried to find how to apologize without breaking down completely—too many mixed feelings. Anger towards herself and fear over hurting Jane, even more, were top of the list. She had kept people away for so long that her body and brain reacted in repulsive ways not to get hurt. She wanted to be herself again—for her and Jane. Maura was finally getting everything she wasn't even capable of dreaming because of how much it hurt knowing she could never get it and, yet, she kept pushing her away. Suddenly, she felt her friend approaching.

M: "I-I'm sorry. My phone died."

When she felt Jane's hand touching her arm, she nervously stepped away.

J: "Maur?"

M: "I'm going to freshen myself up and then cook us something. I need to go out and do something after lunch."

J: "Sure...Let me get the groceries. I think I remember where everything goes."

M: "Thanks."

Before walking out of the room, the ME gave her friend a small smile, hoping she wouldn't see the sadness behind it.

During the entire ride, Maura couldn't stop thinking about their lunch. It was quieter than usual, and although they had a pleasant small talk, she couldn't seem to unwind and stop acting so stiff. What she was most concerned about is that they didn't engage in any type of physical contact. There was no one to blame but herself. If she kept pushing her away, it would be no surprise if Jane started being cautious about her actions nor if she decided to leave. It was hard to feel vulnerable. This morning, when she woke up, Jane still had her arms around her. Maura, doing everything she could not to wake her up, ran her fingers across her cheek and kissed her forehead. After admiring her for a few minutes, she got up and tucked her in, kissing her temple softly. Deciding on that moment, she wanted to cook her favourite meal-Ma's famous gnocchi recipe. Noticing, she had nothing at home and had to go out. In the end, upset with herself, she ended up making them a quick lunch instead.

Maura knocked on the door and waited. It didn't take too long for Tommy to open it.

Taking a sip from one of the red wine's Tommy kept for her at his place, she stared at him—waiting for his reaction.

Even though she never made him believe something could happen between them, she knew he was smitten by her. If he weren't Jane's brother, she would probably feel smitten by him when they met. Maybe she was, but it was too short-lived for her to remember. In the past years, he became the person closest to her, and if she weren't struggling as much, they would probably be intimate best friends by now. Unlike Kent, he made everything seem easier and never pushed her into something she didn't want to. He always gave her the space she needed.

It was impossible not to hurt him, but she wished it didn't strike him too hard. The consequences for her past actions were starting to get her.

T: "I...I didn't know you and Kent were getting serious."

M: "We're not. I'm sorry."

T: "No. Don't be. I know this was not...you know. You were with Kent, and I crossed the lin-"

M: "You didn't. "

T: "I feel like I kinda took advantage of yo-"

M: "No, Tommy. If someone took advantage of anyone that was me. You were sad over Lydia; Kent wasn't talking to me; You had feelings for me in the past, and I knew that with the right set up, you would...I mean, I didn't plan it. I knew it was a possibility and I didn't know exactly what my reaction would be but...it was on the spur-of-the-moment."

T: "Well, I liked that you took advantage of me."

Maura laughed loudly.

M: "You're such a moron!... I don't want to lose your friendship."

T: "Maura! We're family! You're stuck with me"

Tommy began hugging her, and she pulled him closer. It hadn't been as hard as she was expecting. Maura sighed in relief.

M: "Can I ask you something?"

T: "Shoot!"

M: "Today, I did something...I think Jane's upset with me."

T: "Impossible. She would never be upset with you."

M: "But...I think I hurt her. When you were kids, what did you do to cheer her up?"

T: "Well-"

The bell door rang, and Tommy ran to open it. Standing outside was Jane.

The ME felt her friend's eyes focused on her, making her gulp and hope she didn't get the wrong idea of why she was there.

T: "Janie! Maura was just telling me how much she missed you!"

J: "She was?!"

As Jane came inside and looked at her, somewhat surprised, Maura felt her cheeks burn. Immediately, she looked at the floor and became unsure of what to do with herself.

T: "You know what? I have the best idea. Why don't we get some pizza and watch yesterday's game?"

Jane couldn't help but notice how comfortable Maura was around Tommy and TJ. She even took a beer from the fridge and handed it to her after she stepped inside—before Tommy had a chance to offer it.

No matter how much she knew she didn't love him, she still felt jealous. They were close, and he had had her in ways she's been daydreaming since she first laid eyes on her. It was impossible not to feel insecure. Part of her wanted to be in his position. And the way Maura talked to her today...it hurt. Seeing her reaction after, hurt her even more. She was struggling, and Jane had only recently started to see how much. She already knew it was bad, especially by what the blonde told her, but it didn't really hit her before that. Then, she saw how she had bought so many snacks that she loved, even though the ME hated them. Her heart filled with love. Neither one of them were great with expressing their feelings, but they were learning how to. What mattered is that they understood each other and were able to read between the lines. Actions and attention to details was their love language.

Distracted in her thoughts, she only realized Maura got up when she sat down next to her— their bodies closer than before. Jane looked at her and saw her placing her glass on the coffee table, next to where TJ was playing. She seemed stiff and kept her eyes on the screen. Still, the ME wrapped one of her arms around her's. Surprised with the action, Jane reached for her free hand and held it between them. Caressing it gently, she felt her friend relax underneath the touch. When Maura rested her head against her shoulder, she kissed her forehead softly.

TJ: "I wanna go to bed."

T: "Let's go, buddy!"

TJ: "Noooo...I want aunt Maura and aunt Jane!"

TJ: "You can sit here and read to me. Aunt Maura, can you do your thing?"

M: "Of course, TJ."

Sitting on the stool by the bed, Jane smiled, realizing how her friend's voice seemed to get softer and sweeter around her nephew. She also loved how he would call her aunt. Their connection and understanding was incredible.

She watched Maura in amazement— the way she kicked her heels on the floor; how she placed herself underneath the sheets, pulling TJ on top of her and how he rested his head against her chest. Both holding each other while, every once in a while, the blonde kissed his head. If she hadn't done it before, this would be the moment she would decide she wanted to spend the rest of her life next to her. She had never seen her looking as beautiful.

The moment TJ fell asleep, both women couldn't keep their gaze away from each other. They were hypnotized. Eventually, the ME carefully got up and tucked him in. When she grabbed her heels, Jane stood up and got near her. Hazel eyes staring at hers, while their chests brushed against each other.

J: "This was amazing."

M: "TJ is exceptional."

J: "No. You. You are...incredible."

Maura laid her face against Jane's neck and began tracing soothing circles on the back of her head. Pulling apart, she kissed her quickly, yet tenderly. The dark-haired watched her looking at the floor for a quick second—her cheeks bright red. She was adorable.

J: "You're adorable."

Maura giggled quietly, and Jane wrapped her arms around her. Kissing her softly between smiles and feeling her melting with each touch.

M: "I'm a bit tired. Do you mind going home now?"