Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Leisure Suit Larry, or any of the characters from the franchise. I do not fully know how everyone relates to one another, and this work is complete fiction. I am not making any profit on this publication and do this mainly out of a love for the games.

Chapter 14: The Penthouse Of Pleasure.

It should be noted here that Larry started to get a bit of bravery while in Lost Wages. After all those death-defying rides, it increased his need to take risks in life (but not serious life ending risks). As it was, Larry saw the unguarded elevator as an opportunity. He just needed to open it.

His eyes then turned to the podium Faith had been standing behind. He moved over to it and looked it over. He noticed a few things while he looked it over, showing hallmarks of the other guards who manned the podium. There were several signs that all the guards were females, with the many images of barely dressed men that any reasonable man would feel inadequate standing next to it. (Larry actually thought he was better looking.)

Eventually, he found the lone button marked elevator. He figured that was the elevator button since a button on the underside of the podium would most likely be for some alarm. (The truth was that it wasn't a functional button but was there for looks.) He pushed the button and was rewarded for doing that with the opening of the elevator.

Thankfully, this elevator was not like the main elevator in the place. Julius figured the last thing he needed was anyone getting sick heading up to the penthouse. It was also why he employed guards for that elevator. Julius wasn't aware of the special deal the current occupant of the penthouse had made with the guards, but we'll get to that in a little bit.

Larry, however, was thankful that the elevator went straight up with no twists or turns. In fact, it was a quiet, and calm ride all the way up to the penthouse. Deep down, Larry was rather nervous about going up to what he was sure was a penthouse. There had been many times he had dreamed of being in one of those places. He always viewed the people who had them as being very wealthy.

Of course, a penthouse earned that name because it was usually as big as a normal house. While most apartments were usually on a single floor, and very rarely had clearly defined rooms for living and sleeping in, the penthouse had all the things a normal house had, and then some. For many, the penthouse is a forbidden dream, and very few would dare venture into one. Larry is not your typical person, though, (and that's an insult to atypical people everywhere.)

Now, I would not condone the actions Larry took at this point, mainly because it seemed like breaking and entering, however, if one leaves a door unlocked, or open, it does seem to act like an invitation. In the end, it says more about the person who would venture into such a place regardless of their motives. Larry's motives were not the most noble, in any case, but the lady who was renting the penthouse actually kept that in mind, rewarding anyone who made it up to the penthouse.

Larry's arrival at the penthouse was unnoticed when the elevator opened. He took in the lavash sight before him, being careful not to exclaim too loudly. From what he could see, the place was extremely nice, and even had a balcony. He was leery about checking that, since he didn't want to be spotted in the place. He then headed off in the opposite direction of the balcony.

His explorations led him to a very lavish bedroom. By his guess, this bedroom was as big as the honeymoon suite he had been in earlier. Judging by what he could see, someone was literally using the room. The fact that there were suitcases in the room told him that. They didn't look open (mainly because the clothing was in the various room drawers) and Larry wondered if they were abandoned, or just arrived. Out of tact (which was becoming less and less in Larry), he left them alone, and decided to check out the closet.

Just from opening the closet door, Larry could tell it was huge. While the light in the room was enough to illuminate what was inside the door, there had to be a switch to light up the rest. Larry was about to search for the switch when he noticed what the light in the room was illuminating. Resting on a lone hanger was a lone item that looked peach or flesh colored. Just as Larry took it off the hanger, he knew what it was.

For those of you not in the know, the object Larry found was a life-size blow-up doll. This is an item usually owned by individuals who can't seem to ever find a date or use it as a fill in for a night where they don't manage to find a partner for the night. This is an item no one would ever admit to owning. Some individuals would even use one of these specially made dolls to practice their techniques (mind you, it's a process that would be ineffective). The doll didn't belong to the current resident, but it was actually provided by the hotel at the current resident's request.

Larry, not knowing any of this, did the first thing that came to his mind when he grabbed it. He found the right spot and blew the thing up. This took a little while, since it would take a lot of air from a human being to inflate a blow-up doll. (He also didn't notice the hand pump in the closet, since it was in the dark part of it.) Now, I'm sure there are a lot of jokes that can go with this action, especially by all those people who are still reading this, EVEN THOSE WHO SHOULD HAVE NEVER GOTTEN THIS FAR, however, the only thing that can be honestly said is that Larry was out of breath a few times before he finally blew it up.

Once he was done, he smiled at his handywork. She was devoid of clothes (since she had been deflated) and looked very curvy. She also had a look of complete airheaded shock on her face (for rather obvious reasons, and if you can't figure it out WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS.) Larry, having years of experience of pretending to talk to women (as well as self-love), started to sweet talk the blow-up doll. "Hey baby. You come here often." He then let a shocked look cross his face, as if he was taken aback about something. "Well baby, you are definitely very upfront about that, but sure you can. I hope you can handle it."

Now, I'm sure some of our more immature minded readers know what is about to happen, and to be honest, the doll had seen that action many times. In fact, it was very used to what Larry was about to do. What Larry didn't know was that the blow-up doll had a special feature added to it, at the request of the occupant of the penthouse right now. Thus, as Larry began the action he intended to do, there was a sound of a hiss. You see, Larry had activated a mechanism that cause the doll to spring a leak.

This leak was enough to cause the blow-up doll to shoot away from Larry, and out of the bedroom. Larry, recalling it wasn't best to be running around with his manhood hanging out, quickly zipped up, and ran out after the blow-up doll. He chased it through the living room, and out onto the balcony of the penthouse, not even thinking he might get spotted by the occupant.

In truth, this is what the blow-up doll was rigged to do. You see, out on the balcony was a jacuzzi. In the bubbling water of the jacuzzi was the penthouses occupant, a well-off woman named Eve. Whenever she came to Lost Wages, she was always waiting for Mr. Smart-Enough-To-Be-Right-Now. It was part of her standing arrangement when she was in Lost Wages. If some guy was able to get past security, and get up to the penthouse, with the right item or right words, and not be trying to seriously score with the blow-up doll, they would be the right one for her that stay. This current stay, she had been so far disappointed to see that no man had gotten there. When the blow-up doll came flying out of the penthouse, she waited to see how quickly it took the guy who had found it to come running out, as well as what state of dress he was in. When Larry came out quickly behind the blow-up doll, Eve was already impressed, even though he wasn't the best looker.

As it was for Larry, he managed to keep his cool when he ran out on the balcony and saw the lady in the jacuzzi. From what he could tell, since the bubbles obstructed his view, she had to be at best, hopefully topless. He composed himself, hoping she hadn't seen the blow-up doll fly by. He tried to make his arrival as normal as possible, which under normal circumstances should have resulted in her calling out for police, or security. "Why hello. I didn't realize someone was here at the moment."

To Larry's delight, the woman answered in a calm voice. "Hello. I will admit I wasn't expecting company as interesting as you." Larry had no idea that what she meant was 'she wasn't expecting someone in such tasteless clothes like you'. She then followed up with "I'd be a terrible host if I didn't offer you a chance to join me in my jacuzzi." This question was actually part of her test to find Mr. Right-Now.

To his credit in her mind, or more likely his desperation, Larry took the invitation, quickly stripping out of his Leisure Suit, and getting into the jacuzzi. He kept the suit close by, since he wasn't sure if he might need anything left in his pockets. Once in the jacuzzi, he inwardly enjoyed the bubbles, and took in the site of his hostess. She was a lovely lady, and even through the bubbles he could tell she wasn't wearing anything. The bubbles, however, obscured his view of her ample bustline.

Larry managed to tear his gaze away from that bustline and looked at his hostess. Deep down, he knew it wouldn't be right to call her lady, so he took the more tactful approach of introducing himself. "My name's Larry. Larry Laffer." He almost punctuated it with a hand gesture but decided not to. He didn't want to seem to be not classy (even though his leisure suit had shouted that when he arrived).

To his delight, this made the lady smile. What he didn't know was that she was judging him every moment, and the fact that he asked her name first, and not her measurements, impressed her. "Hello Larry. My name is Eve." Eve knew the unwritten rule of dating, and of one-night stands. You never give out more than a first name. It just made it harder for them to latch on to you. She then asked one of her usual follow up questions. "What brings you to Lost Wages?"

Larry almost felt like a deer in headlights, since he was glancing at her headlights when she asked that. He actually thought about it for a moment, since he realized telling her the truth would be a bit embarrassing. He finally decided to tell a half-truth in response to her question. "Well, I've heard about Lost Wages, and how some of the loveliest ladies come here." The half-truth was that he left out the word easy, and while that was true about the ladies in Lost Wages, they weren't stupid.

Eve wasn't stupid, nor was she 'easy', which she noticed Larry had not said, but she could get the missing word. She had to give him points for not saying that word. She had a suspicion on why he not said everything, which she considered would become obvious soon enough (Vegas odds on Larry's success was at 1,000 to 1. Lost Wages odds were 1,000,000 to 1). She decided to put it to a test by moving her arm a little. If this Larry fellow was a complete and utter first timer, he would come up with a clumsy reason to turn off the bubbles in the jacuzzi. She then said, "I see, and do you think I'm one of the loveliest ladies that comes her."

Larry thought quickly, which is most likely because Eve's headlights were dimmed by the bubbles. He smiled and responded to the question. "Of course, you are, Eve. You are as perfect as…" He paused and reached back into his leisure suit. He knew he might have something in there that would be a perfect gift for Eve.

The action had made Eve raise an eyebrow. Most men that managed to find their way up to the penthouse never even had thought about a gift. Most men usually used pick-up lines and witty repartee. The ones that tried a gift usually gave something like a flower or candy, both of which were very cliche. Any guy that presented a gift had to give one that had a deep meaning.

Larry then pulled out the one thing he had almost forgotten he had. It was the apple, which still looked as fresh and crisp as it had when he purchased it. He smiled at Eve and moved closer to her with the apple. "As this apple. It is a natural beauty, just like you." Larry could tell he had surprised her. He just wasn't sure if he was successful or not.

Eve was taken aback by the gift. She would not have figured that any man would have such a deep meaning gift. You see, the apple has a deep meaning in the language of love. Part of that stems from the Apple of Discord, as it was inscribed with 'To The Fairest'. From that, it is easy to see why an apple was given as a symbol of profound love. It is also associated with the forbidden fruit of biblical fame, having been the fruit of the tree of knowledge. In fact, that made the gift of the apple even more significant, as the first woman was named Eve, as putting a much deeper meaning to it for Eve, so she freely accepted the apple from Larry.

As Eve accepted the apple, Larry took the brief distraction to slyly turn off the bubbles in the jacuzzi before moving back to his side of it. It took a few moments for the bubbles to stop, but he was rewarded with seeing her figure. I would go into full detail of her figure, however doing such a thing might cause blood loss from nose bleeds, as well as loss of concentration due to what remaining blood rushing down to other locations in the body. What I can freely say, however, is that Eve's 'headlights' were no longer dimmed, and in fact were only half covered by the water.

Now, this action didn't go unnoticed by Eve. In fact, had he not done so, she would have suggested Larry doing so after giving such a meaningful gift. She had to inwardly commended him for his sly action. She took that moment to take a bite of the perfect apple, enjoying its taste, and licked her lips as a bit of juice dripped down her chin, and dropped onto the curves of her chest. The crunch of the apple was enough to make Larry look at her just as she was licking her lips. "This was such a thoughtful gift, Larry. It makes me think you deserve something special."

Larry's mind had wandered for a moment at that statement. He realized what was happening, and it bolstered his own misconceptions of his own talent with picking up women. Larry did his best to hold his own expectations in check, and responded with, "Oh, and what might that be?" He then decided to give her a wink, like he already knew.

At that, Eve stood up, showing off her full figure before wrapping a towel around her. The towel was just enough, where it was wrapped around her, to just barely cover her. As she got out of the jacuzzi, she looked at Larry and said, "Follow me." Larry didn't hesitate, and quickly got out of the jacuzzi, wrapping a second towel around himself.

Now, while we have often remarked, and took jabs at Larry's manhood. This can be a common thing in any given group of men. The thing is that when any man is fully at attention, their manhood can be quite impressive. This is why when Larry had wrapped the towel around himself, Eve noticed it was, well, it was caused the towel to stick out a bit in front. Larry then went with her back into the penthouse, and back into the bedroom.

I suppose that at this point, you are expecting a drawn-out description of Eve rewarding Larry for impressing her. I'm sure you are waiting for a play by play of what happened. In fact, I am certain some of you readers are salivating at the thought of what intimate acts they had taken part in. Well, as you have most likely guessed, since I have no doubt that individuals who should not be reading this is still reading it, I must describe what happens as follows. (DAMN YOU READERS WHO ARE BOTH MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY IMMATURE!)

It is during this part that if this were a movie, you would be seeing a lot of stock footage. Stuff like trains going into tunnels, fireworks going off in the air, and oil derricks pumping for oil. There would be some slow romantic sounding music playing, or if the stock footage wasn't being used, some crony ass music playing. There may even be close ups of both of their faces in ecstasy. Eventually, the two would end up on the bed either panting in exhaustion from the act or dead asleep.

Now you know the story of Larry Laffer, and why he is a dating legend. To this day, no other man has surprised Eve like that. Even when Eve talks about it, she has been known to praise Larry for impressing her, even though she doesn't talk highly of his performance in bed.

It is possible that Larry's increased delusion in how well he did in bed that night maybe have been magnified by the dream he had that night. It had involved the one guy from Lefty's walking out of the closet, promoting a game based off of Larry's adventures in Lost Wages. (Given we never saw more of that closet, who knows if it did actually happen.)

There could be more to Larry's story in Lost Wages, dear readers. It is no secret that Larry is a man of legend, or dumb luck. As it is, there is more to Larry's story. My own research has led to find out about some weird goings on in the world at that time, and how they got foiled because of a man in a leisure suit. That, however, is another story.