A/N: ScoRose trash, as usual. Not entirely canon-compliant, but with a Scorpius closer to what you might find in Cursed Child (yes, we all love snarky Scorpius, but it didn't feel right here). Please tell me what you think! And share the ScoRose love, not germs (or viruses)!
Title: Letters to no one
Summary: Strange, unexpected and unexplained things keep happening in Scorpius' life, which is why it is no surprise when he finds letters from a mysterious writer hidden in the library. The writer had a secret and maybe Scorpius has one too. What is it about love that makes it so difficult?
Word count: 2,938
Genres: Romance, Mystery
Characters: Rose W., Scorpius M.
Warnings: Very briefly mentions character death.
Scorpius Malfoy was used to strange things happening in his life. Strange, unusual things that happened with absolutely no explanation and never left an answer. An obvious example of this was when he befriended Albus Potter. Clearly, the Universe had not been planned for him to become best friends with the son of Harry Potter, his father's greatest enemy, and yet it still happened. A concurrence of circumstances, a same train carriage, and a dorm in common lead to the greatest friendship he had ever known.
Another example that might come to mind was when he fell in love with Rose Weasley. This too was largely unexpected, unrequited and on the whole, almost a laughing matter. Befriend the son of one, love the daughter of the other two. Like he had said, the Universe was playing a cosmic joke on him. They hadn't even spoken to each other since last year during Prefect rounds, but Scorpius had been a goner from the first day, when he first saw her walk up confidently to the Sorting Hat and smile smugly when the Sorting Hat placed her in Gryffindor. Scorpius' mother was a believer of true love, and until that very moment, he had never understood what she had described. But from that day on, he clung to his crush.
But back to unexpected occurrences. Of course, there were also the slightly less obvious strange things that happened to him, always finding someone's missing pet, getting an O on a test he had barely studied for, always putting his foot through the unusual missing step. A perfect mix of continuously lucky and unlucky. Unexpected.
So when one day, he found a corner of paper sticking out of the bookshelf in the library, he just accepted it as another one of these strange happenings. See, Scorpius always, always used the exact same spot in the Library. It was a small but cosy corner of the Library, with exactly two chairs, a table, and a forgotten shelf full on books about the period between the Third and Fourth Goblin revolutions of the year 1321 (frankly, it amazed him as to how there could possibly be that many books on a such a boring subject). Needless to say, another soul, apart from the occasional mouse, or Albus, when he finally decided that maybe it was time to start working on that month-long project due in 2 days.
This little piece of paper, sticking out of the shelf stuck in between two books on the Goblin feudal system was meant for him, and Scorpius knew it. He was so sure of this he didn't feel any guilt from taking the piece of paper and discovering what was on it.
A letter. Well, not exactly a letter, it wasn't addressed but it was the sort of things you would tell a friend, or maybe a diary. But it had been left for someone, so surely the person who had wrote it had intended for someone to find it? Despite all his musings, Scorpius decide to interpret it as a letter. It was written in red, crimson red. The choice struck him as odd, especially as it seemed like the paper was bleeding, but then again.
We lie best when we lie to ourselves, don't we?
I guess I'd better explain things, it wouldn't do for this statement to be just out of the blue (or out of the red, in this case). It's so easy to be brave for other people, to be brave when defending someone, to be brave when helping. Courageous, that's what they call it too. Perhaps it's a prettier word. But when it comes to being brave about yourself, or myself, I suddenly feel stuck.
This huge in-admission I can feel trapped within me, banging on the prison doors of my heart yearns to be let free for the world to see. Bu coward. The secret I have yet to admit to myself still stays safe inside, and I hide my cowardice behind more acts of bravery.
We really do lie best when we lie to ourselves.
Upon reading the letter, Scorpius had felt like an intruder, slightly. Just slightly. This person was sharing their personal thoughts. And yet, it seemed like it had been left for him... The Universe surely had an explanation for all this, it was just one of the things he had to accept.
So he read the letter, and once he had read it, he carefully replaced it back where he had found it, almost feeling compelled to do so. The words had made him think, had rung deep within him. His feelings and emotions were always keep deep down, without ever admitting them to anyone. His mother had always urged him to share, but since her death, that part of him had gone to sleep with her. But still, unlike the person from the letter, he allowed himself to wallow in those emotions he wasn't meant to have.
The next time he saw Rose, he barely thought of the letter. They did their patrol as usual, having been partners for the past year and a half now. Another unexpected thing. The patrol partners were pulled out of a hat, but the Universe thought it funny to throw them in together as usual. The other Prefects and Heads would tip-toe around the subject, a Weasley and Malfoy patrolling together, always fearing it would end up badly. Sure, last year, at the beginning, there had been a certain animosity from Rose, but the heavy silence from then had soon been broken when they discovered their shared love of Transfiguration, spending their hours comfortably chatting about books and other spells they had recently discovered, what their Animagus would be, and just every day troubles.
The patrol went as usual; idle chatter. Scorpius enjoyed being in her presence, her halo of red, curly hair bouncing around her shoulders with every step. Secretly, he wondered what it would be like to stop her and admit his feelings. Maybe she would blush, but she would probably reject him. After all, they weren't meant to be together. She was laughing at a joke he had said, but wasn't looking him in the eye. She almost never did. The letter didn't come up once.
The next letter came barely a week later. Scorpius wasn't really expecting this. It had completely slipped away because, for him, this had been a one time message, a special communication meant to finally share something on the heart. And yet it came again. Clearly, the person hadn't managed to do what they wanted, and the secret was still gnawing on them. Curiosity piqued him lightly and he read through the next one.
Do you ever just want to disappear?
Just see what the world would be like if suddenly you weren't there any more. Who would look for you and who would just move on. I'd be curious to know what would happen. Surely my friends and family would look, I know they would. They love me very dearly.
But it's not really their love I'm looking for, is it? It's so selfish of me to say so, so very unGryffindor like. All of them would blush with shame, but surely a girl should be allowed to feel things from time to time. The secret I'm holding is slowly carving it's way to my mouth, I can feel it.
I hope... the next word had been crossed and scribbled over multiple times, a crimson bullet wound, would miss me if I suddenly wasn't there any more.
If I disappeared.
So, the writer of the letter was a girl and a Gryffindor with that. That at least he had managed to understand. But that didn't help much, there were hundreds of Gryffindor girls, all of them could have written the letter. Well, maybe not all of them.
Scorpius tried to make out the word that had been crossed out a couple of times, hoping it would bring him another clue as to who his person was. He wasn't a naturally curious person, but something about the letter told him the person needed help. And though he was even less of a helpful person, it didn't stop him from having some basic humanity.
He briefly thought about mentioning this to Albus, but decided against it. Surely this person had meant it for his eyes only, and he didn't really feel like sharing. It felt special, being someone's confidante, knowing a part of them and carrying it around with you. Also, it didn't help that he currently wasn't speaking to Albus because he had made fun of Scorpius when he caught him looking at Rose for a moment too long in DADA earlier that morning. She had looked over at him one moment, and he had waved. She had smiled but immediately frowned and concentrated on her work again. Albus had spotted this and guffawed for 20 minutes.
Why would anyone ever want to fall in love?
It's ridiculously frustrating, especially when the said-person you're in love with is strictly off limits. Don't go thinking I'm in love with my best friend's boyfriend or anything, I'm not that sort of person, but still. First time I ever feel in love with someone, my daddy told me I should have better taste. Well, I was six and crushing on my uncle's godson. Clearly not the best choice; especially since my cousin would kill me if she knew.
Oh, but if Daddy knew who was constantly in my thoughts... he would be so disappointed. I would present my arguments, Prefect, perfect grades, on the Quidditch team. But that wouldn't persuade him. Doesn't he understand that feeling cannot be stopped? I feel absolutely ridiculous, a barely seventeen-year-old girl stuck in some sort of hopeless love story, writing her life away, as if her miserable love-life was anything of importance. I'm tired of feelings
I guess I've said it now, or at least written it
I definitely didn't want to fall in love.
That was the third letter. The third letter in a month. Scorpius had now taken to checking the bookshelves for a sign of a piece of paper, often tricking himself into thinking the ones he had replaced were actually new ones. But every time, disappointment to see the mysterious writer had left absolutely nothing. Every letter was full of information, she was almost 17, so his year, she had cousins, an uncle, a father. She was in love. She wasn't supposed to be in love. (As a side note, he wondered who the person in love was, but it struck him as unimportant).
The parallel between her own situation and his own struck him with every passing word. Oh, if only his own father knew. Friends with Albus Potter had been one thing, hard to swallow but obviously a necessity. Draco Malfoy could understand the appeal of having high-placed relations. Though of course, that was not at all what Albus was. But his father had managed to understand that. Love on the other hand... Though he himself had married for love, and someone he wasn't initially supposed to, Astoria Greengrass. Maybe she would have been able to convince him that Rose wasn't so bad, if he ever managed to say anything, but she wasn't there to do that any more…
He paused for a moment, taking the time to recollect himself. His mother could wait. He had been in the Library with Rose, as they had been paired together for a Charms project, and he had told her he was just going to get an interesting book, though in truth, he had been anxiously looking for another letter. Things had changed between them, and he had noticed she would often start talking about something, then abruptly cut off, leading on to a heavy silence. It was like she was purposely stopping herself from talking. Though Scorpius couldn't possibly comprehend why.
But then something strange happened. It had been two months now, since the letters had first started arriving. There were now at least 10 letters strewn all across his bookshelf. Slowly but surely, Scorpius was learning more and more about the girl, the crimson girl, as he called her, collecting titbits of information from off-handed comments and slowly narrowing down the field of possibilities, anxious to find out her identity.
But that's when it happened.
Scorpius Malfoy was in the Library, heading towards his sacrosanct working space, still a couple of aisles back, when suddenly a figure emerged from behind the bookshelf. Rose Weasley, flaming red curly hair and all, creeping out from rows of books and hurrying off into the darker aisles of the Library. She didn't even pay attention to her surroundings, and scurried off without even looking at him.
Scorpius stayed frozen t the ground with shock for a couple of moments. Rose Weasley. Rose Weasley! He couldn't believe it.
Memories of their latest encounters flashed through his head. The charms project, which they had absolutely nailed, their conversations about life as children of war figures, that one time they had had lunch together when everybody else had gone to Hogsmeade. Her ravishing but shy smile, his awkward attempts at humour which she still laughed at.
Scorpius checked she had gone, and then rushed into his nook, scrounging the bookshelves for the newest letter. Rose! Rose! His brain was still sorting through the influx of information and thoughts popping up. Soon enough, a new piece of paper peeked out from particularly dusty volume on Goblin's Medieval Wedding Traditions. He almost ripped it while trying to take it out. The crimson ink still seemed fresh staining his hands and the book as he started the read it, leaving little red kisses along his skin.
Was it ever a question of bravery?
I used to be torn, torn between my feelings and all the obligations around me, all the expectations. I thought admitting these feelings would be a question of being brave enough, but clearly it wasn't that. Or only a little bit perhaps. It was only ever a question of what they would say. But I've realised, wouldn't they want this for me? Finally to be able to say to the boy, "I love you," no matter what our families would say.
Because I love him, I truly do. Maybe you've figured that out already, you probably have.
Maybe you know who I am. You probably do. I fear I'm too transparent at times.
Maybe you know who he is too.
Maybe Albus would make a tacky joke, something about how our eyes colour clashes and therefore it cannot be. Trying to alleviate the mood… What am I talking about? I can't tell my family, I still haven't told him.
Maybe I'll tell him soon, screw what everyone thinks.
I've always been brave.
Rose. Rose Weasley. It all made sense. Girl, check. Gryffindor, check. Over-protective father, check. Cousins, check (see exhibit A: Albus Potter). In love, check. Wait. His "love at first sight", in love with another? He had never been jealous before, but the green-eyed monster grabbed at his heart. How was this possible? He had never noticed her act in love with someone else, and neither had she mentioned it when they did their patrols. Who could it be.
He grabbed all the letters in the library he could find and started to re-read them avidly, compiling a mental list of all the attributes her crush was, trying to find out what he had that Scorpius hadn't, and how he could possibly have missed it in Rose's behaviour. He was now in a sea of white and crimson, papers everywhere, completely lost in his reading.
So lost, he didn't notice when someone else stepped into the nook.
"Oh," came a small voice.
Scorpius looked up to see Rose Weasley eyes round with shock and blushing to the tips of her ears. Scorpius looked down at the pages of crimson around him and blushed too.
"You've… you've read those?" she asked, but it sounded more like a statement and she would look him in the eyes.
"I have, I did," said Scorpius.
Rose groaned then buried her head in her hands. "Oh Merlin, I wish I could have said it directly."
"Said what?" Scorpius was confused and the burst of energy from his jealousy still hadn't died down.
"That I love you," she said bluntly finally looking into his eyes.
"What?" Scorpius couldn't comprehend the words coming out of her mouth. She loved him? How was that even possible? But the mental list he had compiled was pointing towards him. Prefect, check. Grades, check. Quidditch, check. Her father disapproved, check.
"You mean you hadn't figured it out? Oh, this is even worse, please forget anything had ever happened. We are going to pretend this never existed." She turned on her heal and made her way towards the main part of the Library.
"Rose, wait!" Scorpius cried out. Maybe he could be brave too.
"Please, let's not make this any more embarrassing that it already is. I know you probably don't like me back, I don't know why I ever said that. This was a horrible idea. Our families hate each other. Oh Merlin…"
"Rose, I love you too," Scorpius admitted and an utter look of shock appeared on her face.
But it lasted only about half a second before she grabbed him by the collar and crushed down her lips to his. Looked like she wasn't quite as torn any more, and the secret was out...
FOR HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY
House: Ravenclaw
Assignment #6: Unsolved murders: #10 Write about receiving a mysterious correspondence.
Pop figures: Harry Potter: 53) Ginny on a broom – Red hair
Hogwarts Talent Show: 99) Writing 3) Library 5) Romantic
Writing club:
EnTitled: 1) Receiving a long letter
Marvel Appreciation: 16) Jealousy
Elizabeth's Empire: 23) crimson
Autumn seasonal challenge:
National pizza month: 9) Different Hogwarts houses
Chemistry Week: 50) Tin – torn
United Nations day: France 62) Romance
Ravenclaw OTPs: Scorpius/Rose
Autumn Funfair:
Pumpkin patch stomp: C7 Shocked
Monster petting zoo: Zara the Zombie: Pet them: Crimson
Pirate ships: 2,938 HMS Scorpius/Rose
Hallowe'en sing along: 15) My daddy told me, I should have better taste
Kiss, Marry, Kill: Kiss Scorpius 9) Accidental confession of feelings
Drive in Halloween movies: 12) "We lie best when we lie to ourselves."
Murder mystery: Rooms: 9) Library
Dessert wine: 2) Weasley/Hogwarts classmate
Fortune telling: Heart line 7) Scorpius/Rose
Trick or Treating: Weasleys 3) romance
Apple bobbing: Apple 11: Era – Next-Gen
Leaf picking: Orange: 5) Jealousy
Corn maze: Crimson