Bella PoV

I must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing I knew was that of Jacob gently calling my name, shaking me lightly.

"Bells? I'm sorry, but you have to wake up. The game's over, Charlie will want to go home soon."

I frowned and hold tighter to my own personal heater. It felt so good to lie here with him under the night sky, his big body next to mine, his radiating heat wrapping me. With Edward, it had always felt so cold, like ice-cold marble. I had gotten used to it after some time so that I had completely forgotten what it was like to feel as completely warm as I did now. Warm from outside and from inside.

I heard Jacob chuckling quietly. "Bells, if you don't want to get caught by Charlie you have to let go."

"But it's so warm..." I mumbled, reluctantly letting go. I yawned as I stood up and stretched a little. It must have been close to midnight and I wondered how long I've slept. I felt Jacob standing up beside me. I put it to my still sleepy mind that I didn't think twice before I wrapped my arms around him again; almost purring at the heat that instantly filled my body.

"Glad to be of service." Jacob laughed and for one brief moment buried his face in my hair. And for one brief moment I didn't care.

Too soon it was time for me to let go, for real this time. Charlie was calling from the front door and since I didn't want him to come back here and catch us in this position I had to go. It felt oddly hard to let Jacob go.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" I asked softly.

Jacob sighed. "I don't know... Sam was pretty pissed when I didn't show on patrol last night and he'll want me to be extra hard-working tomorrow. But I'll do my best, promise."

What? He didn't show on patrol. By his tired looking face, I had assumed he had been running patrol the whole night, but this had obviously not been the case. Where had he been then? Why had he not shown up? But my questions were cut short when we arrived at the front porch where Charlie was already waiting for us. "See? I told you going out for a bit wouldn't be that bad," he grinned and ruffled through my hair. Jake, who was standing behind me and his father laughed. We said our goodbyes and I was a bit surprised when Jacob pulled me into a short hug right in front of Charlie. But my dad didn't seem to mind, seeing it as a nice gesture between friends. And that's what it was. Wasn't it?

The next day was a Monday and school started again. I would have been grateful for something normal and steady in my life right now hadn't it been the fact that as soon as I started to get up my head began to pound, and I shivered visibly. When I looked in the mirror, my face was even paler than usual and a light layer of sweat covered my forehead.

When I went down Charlie was still there, leaning against the counter, a cup of coffee in one hand and the newspaper in the other. When he heard me approaching he looked up. A frown appeared on his face. "Bella, you look terrible."

"Thanks a lot Dad, that's the thing every woman wants to hear when she gets up." I had put on a sweater and wore long pants, but the shivering wouldn't stop.

"I'll get the thermometer." Charlie put down his coffee and his newspaper and was getting upstairs to the bathroom before I could protest. It was a nice gesture though. Charlie was not usually someone who parented a lot.

He appeared again, holding the small thermometer. He made me sit down on the couch, handing it to me and watched as I put it in my mouth. From the expression on his face I guessed that he was really nervous. Apart from a light cough last winter I had never been sick around him. The thermometer beeped and I pulled it out. It showed 102.

"Okay, no school for you today. Get back to bed; I'll get you something to push the fever down." The tone of his voice was all sheriff, used to command. I simply nodded and tried to stand up.

Almost immediately my legs gave out under me and hadn't it been for Charlie's quick reaction, I would have fallen and maybe beat my head on the couch table. Charlie swept me up in his arms and carried me all the way back to my room like I was six years again.

I was too tired to protest when he put me down and tucked me in. He disappeared and came back with a glass of water and a small white pill. "Drink this." he said. "It will get the fever down." He gently pushed a wet strand of hair from my face and looked at me softly. When I had finished the water, he took the glass. "Want me to stay home today?"

"No, it's fine." My voice sounded hoarse and it hurt to talk. My head still pounded and my whole body felt kind of weird, like it was inflated like a balloon. "Go on. I'm a big girl and what could you do except sit around and watch me?"

Charlie didn't seem very happy about this but he nodded. "Okay, but you have to promise to call as soon as something changes, alright? I'll be near the phone the whole day and will try to finish early."

I mumbled something and closed my eyes again, too weak to battle sleep any longer. I heard Charlie getting out of the room, closing the door but then sleep overcame me.

The dream began almost immediately.

I was staying once again at the meadow, our meadow and felt something coming up behind me. An ice-cold hand touched my neck and when I turned, I saw him behind me. The look in his eyes was cold and distant when he said: "Oh Bella, how could you have been so naive? How could you even think for one minute that I loved you? You are little more than a pet to me. Or a meal…" His eyes suddenly changed from golden to a deep red. He was baring his fangs and the grip on my neck turned from gentle to painful as he stopped me from running away.

He lowered his face, his fangs nipping my neck just enough to let a little blood drop out. He sighed in relief. "Like my own personal brand of heroine"

Just as he was about to fully bite me, something howled in the distance. We both looked up just in time to see a big, red wolf running on the meadow, flashing his sharp teeth at us. Edward released me instantly, throwing me on the ground like a puppet. I wanted to scream but it was like my mouth was sewn shut. I could merely watch as the two deadly creatures began to fight.

The fight seemed pretty equal. Each time one of them landed a blow the other was sure to follow immediately. Soon they were each full of cuts and bruises. But while the wounds of the wolf were bleeding, Edwards cuts were healing fast and soon the wolf was panting from exhaustion.

Suddenly the eyes of the wolf were looking for me and when he saw me lying on the ground, a look of sadness appeared in them. I love you Bella. I would give my live for you

I woke up screaming. In my half-asleep state, I was half expecting Charlie to come running again like he usually did when I had a nightmare but this time the door didn't open.

I laid in my bed, panting, and sweating and sobbing. It had felt so real. The words, the fight, the blood. In this moment I wanted nothing more than to call Jacob, making sure he was alright. But then I remembered him saying that Sam would want him on patrolling duty the whole day and so I only sighed and buried deeper in my pillows.

The fever seemed to have come down a little and when I used the thermometer again it showed only 100° this time. Still my throat felt dry and hurt so I decided to get up and maybe make myself a cup of tea. If we had any tea that was… None of us was a huge tea fan so we rarely bought it.

My legs were shaky again but somehow, I managed to get down the stairs without tripping. I was lucky. Somewhere in the back of a cupboard I found a packet of herbal tea. While the water boiled, I leaned against the counter, trying to ignore the pounding headache. My whole body was on fire and the world spun around me. When the water was finished and the mug filled, I didn't even try to get back upstairs. I felt too weak and wobbly and probably would end up falling down the stairs.

So, I settled on the couch, tea on the small table, blanket wrapped tight around me.

Thoughts swirled in my mind, images of the dream, Edward fighting against the wolf. Edward with his blood red eyes, ready to bite me and kill me.

In some way he had already killed me. For months after he had left me, I had been slightly more than an empty, breathing shell. I remembered the time I had first come to Forks. It had been awkward to transfer to a new school in the middle of the school year but then I had found Ben and Angela and Jessica and Mike, and I was getting comfortable. Then the Cullens had shown up and my whole life was turned upside down.

I had discovered a new world, a world where a simple kiss could kill you and this world had begun to suck me in, pulling me away from everything I had known so far. I had faded away from my friends, my whole existence spinning around the Cullens and most especially him.

He was like poison or like he had said my own personal brand of heroine. I was so addicted I couldn't think clearly anymore. I had been ready to die in order to be with him forever. I would have left Charlie and my mom and everything I had known so far just so I could spend eternity at his side. And at this time, I had thought it was the same for him.

I should have read the signs more clearly. His constant reminder of how bad he was for me, his reluctance to bite to be like him, the distance he had kept between us… In some way the day in the woods was simply the end of a very long road.

And now the only thing I had left were memories. And nightmares.