Christmas is almost here! I hope everyone is safe and well! It's absolutely chaos here in the UK (due to COVID 19) Wherever you are, I really hope you are keeping safe! Thank you for reading!

Christmas Eve 7:00 p.m.

We head to The Pit, and on the way, we pass the supermarket. It's full to the brim with people. I peer through the glass window longingly, thinking of my noodles and the peaceful, solitary night that is very quickly getting away from me. I feel regretful for suggesting the pub now, but it seemed like the right thing to do, and however miserable I might be feeling, that must have sucked for Tobias in the bookshop. I'm trying to do a nice thing. A kind thing. Not exactly the act of a hardcore bitch. It must be all the music and twinkle lights. This is why Christmas is dangerous – it makes people sappy.

Inside The Pit is at its peak celebration vibe. I spot a luminously-colored poster on the wall declaring this The Big Chicago Christmas Bash. Ah. It's full of giddy people wearing Christmas hats, drinking cocktails and singing along to the very loud Christmas tunes. It's a hellscape.

"Shall we go somewhere else?" I shout to Tobias over the noise.

"No, this is brilliant!" he shouts back.

Maaaan.

We head to the back of the pub, where there's a small table free, a group of people standing around it swiftly making space when they see the wheelchair, shopping bags, crutches and Christmas tree. I push the wheelchair to the edge of the table and spin it slightly so that Tobias has a view of the room.

"Is that a good position?" I ask.

"My favorite position," Tobias smiles innocently, although that sounded flirty to me. I narrow my eyes at him. He narrows his back.

"What do you want to drink?"

Tobias blows the air out from his cheeks. "After the week I've had, something strong would be awesome."

"You're going to have to be more specific," I say, eyeing the throngs at the bar.

"Double vodka and Coke."

"Great. Back in a second."

I head to the bar, squeezing past high-spirited revellers, one of whom tells me to cheer up because it might never happen.

"It is happening," I say in response, gesturing madly to the crowd and the Christmas music and the fact that I am not at home in pajamas with my earplugs in.

Waiting at the bar, I find myself swaying to the sounds of East 17 singing Stay Another Day. It is objectively a pretty excellent song when you think about it, and not technically a Christmas song.

"Tris! Wow, what are you doing here?"

I spin around to see Christina from work, wearing sparkly face makeup, a tinsel crown, and the slightly cross-eyed expression of the absolutely sloshed.

"I've come for a quick drink with a friend," I say.

"I'm here with people from work!" She points over to another table where I spot Matthew, Peter the creepy IT guy, and Molly the overtly sexual admin assistant.

"You should come and sit with us!" Christina sings, slinging an arm around my neck and pulling me into a sort of headlock.

I wriggle myself out of her grasp. "Maybe!" I say, knowing that I definitely won't.

Christina places her hands onto my cheeks and looks at me imploringly. "I'm really happy to see you," she slurs. "Really happy. But... Tris, why are you always so mean?"

I frown. "I'm not mean!"

"You are sometimes."

"No, I just prefer to keep to myself."

"But also, you are meeeeean."

Am I? I didn't think I was mean. A tad grumpy, yes, but not mean. But... Christina doesn't seem like the type to lie, so whether I've intended it or not that's clearly how she's interpreted my behavior.

"Well, I'm sorry," I say, gently taking her hands off my cheeks.

Christina tilts her head to the side and squints one eye, the other one fluttering closedas if she's trying very hard to focus. '"When I first started at Divergent Spaces, I thought you and I would become great friends."

"You did?"

That's surprising.

"Yes! I thought you were really cool and stylish. And then one day I saw you watching an episode of Broad City on your phone during lunch and, oh my goodness, I love that show." Christina presses a hand to her chest. "I mean, I really love it, you know?"

I nod. Broad City is sublime. "I do know."

"So, I said to you, I said, 'Broad City is the best, right?'" And you just rolled your eyes and spun away from me in your skinny chair."

I shake my head. I wouldn't have done that. I may be a grump, but I'm a polite grump.

"Are you sure that happened, Christina?"

"Yep. I know because it was the first week back after the Christmas break last year and the heating in the office was on the blink. I remember feeling fed up with your snub and also because I was very, very cold."

I lean onto the bar while I wait to be served and try to remember this encounter with Christina. January last year was just after the whole debacle with Robert. I was completely miserable and yes, probably a total bitch.

"I'm sorry I did that," I say to Christina. "I was in a bad place."

"And then you ignored me twice more in March and then in August when I tried making conversation with you."

March and August? Huh. It's odd. I always think of my grumpiness as being an insular thing that doesn't really affect anyone else, but looking at Christina's earnest, albeit pissed face, I've clearly upset her on more than one occasion. And it feels horrible. Plus, she wanted to be my friend? She thought I was cool? That doesn't happen to me very often.

I put Christina's hands back onto my cheeks and put my hands onto her cheeks.

"I'm genuinely sorry. Let's hang out in the New Year. Maybe you can come to my house and watch some Broad City with me?"

Christina's eyes glisten. "I would love it!"

I shrug, not quite sure why I am inviting a co-worker to my house but noticing that in my stomach, it feels quite nice to be doing so. It must be that all these cheesy twinkle lights and people singing is having a weird effect on me.

Once Christina has wobbled off back to the team from Divergent Spaces, I finally get served, ordering Tobias' double vodka and Coke and the same for me. Taking into consideration the size of the crowd, I order a couple more of the same along with some salted peanuts. Gathering everything on a silver tray, I head back to our table. As I'm edging through the crowd, I notice Tobias politely talking to two women. I say talking, but the three of them are completely flirting – Tobias doing that smile that everyone seems to be falling over and the two girls touching his shoulder, one of them draping a piece of tinsel around his neck. I squint a little, trying to see what they see. He is very good-looking, I suppose, with those dark brown curls and almost black eyes. I mean he definitely looks more attractive to me than he did when I picked him up from the airport. Which is weird because he's been annoying me all day. I mean, he's definitely not my type. Then again, Robert was exactly my type and look how that turned out; he suggested a vague, old-age marriage pact that made it impossible for me to stay with him afterwards.

I reach the table and Tobias offers a polite goodbye to the two girls as I take a seat opposite him, wriggling into position to avoid hurting the bruised portion of my bum. The girls dance off into the crowd and I take a large sip of my drink, Tobias doing the same. Now that we're here it feels a little awkward. What the hell are we supposed to talk about? Tobias is just staring at me and smiling. I feel my cheeks go hot.

"So! Your fiancée cheated on you?" I say, at a loss for anything else to say and deeply mortified once the words tumble out of my mouth. "Sorry, I mean... shit. Sorry."

Tobias, to his credit, ignores my blabbering apology and answers. "Yes. Nita cheated on me with a friend of mine, in fact. But let's not talk about that. It's boring and not a topic of conversation for a lovely Christmas Day with a new friend." His voice is breezy and the only thing betraying a hint of pain is the slightest pursing of his lips.

"Deal," I say. "But just so you know, I know how you feel and I'm so sorry that that happened to you. At Christmas, too. It's the worst."

"You also got dumped at Christmas?"

"I had to end a relationship I didn't want to end," I explain. "We'd been together for over a year and it turned out that he didn't love me quite as much as I loved him. I was devastated, but I couldn't stay with him after that." I sigh. "It sucked, you know?"

"I do know."

"Yep. Last Christmas was horrible."

"It was last Christmas?" Tobias narrows his eyes. "That makes sense, then."

"What?"

"We met at Mum's office in January last year."

"Did we?"

"Yeah. You were so rude to me and I wondered why. People aren't rude to me very often."

I think of Christina making the same comment.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember meeting you. And that I was mean," I say. "I was pretty broken at the time."

Tobias nods and hold his glass up to mine. "To healing hearts."

"To healing hearts," I echo, clinking his. We smile at each other for a long moment and then, out of the corner of my eye, I spot something that makes my heart drop into my feet.

It's Robert.

He's at the other end of the bar with a girl, and he's looking right at me.