Steve got up before the sun the next morning, eager to set off on his run. The night had been long and miserable, waking up sometimes right after he'd fallen back to sleep, but he didn't regret his decision to set the recurring alarm. He would not allow himself to lose any more time. He threw on his workout gear and took off to a nearby park. Steve avoided going past the coffee shop he enjoyed, not wanting to tempt himself into swinging by on the way home and picking up one of the fresh baked muffins they sold. Steve Rogers indulged in things like that, but Captain America didn't.
He ran around the small park a few times, being mindful of the clock so he gave himself enough time to get ready for the meeting with Fury and Stark. It wasn't quite as much running as he wanted to do, but he could go to the gym later if Fury didn't have any assignments for him. When his allotted time was up, he started the jog back home. He passed by an ice cream shop that was opening up, reminding him of his first birthday since the ice that he spent in Stark Tower.
Tony had insisted on getting him a cake to celebrate. He had even cut him a big slice too, putting it on a paper plate that looked like his shield. Steve had been touched, wondering if he had been wrong about the man and maybe all the little jokes were just how he expressed his friendship. But then he took a big bite and the inside of his mouth was sharp with cold. Tony then mentioned, from behind his hand to hide his snicker, that it was an ice cream cake. Of course Tony had found a way to poke at him. Unexpected bursts of cold weren't his favorite. But he had just smiled, choked down the bite in his mouth, and picked at the rest of his slice. It probably had a really good flavor, but all he could taste was ice.
Steve shoved those thoughts away as he got back to his apartment. He didn't have to worry about things like that anymore. Stark couldn't get to him anymore. No one could get to him anymore. If Captain America put his mind to something, it became so.
He stripped off his clothes and jumped into the shower, turning the water to cold. It wasn't so bad. A quick, crisp shower was a great way to start the day off. He should've been doing this from the beginning. Steve remembered his mother boiling pot after pot of water on their stove for his baths when the cool water would be too detrimental to his health. And her breaking down in tears when their building finally installed a water heater. The water never got very hot, unless you timed it right, but it was a miracle after nothing but pure cold their entire lives. But Steve wasn't sick anymore. He didn't need the hot water that everyone took for granted.
Steve finished his shower, toweling off and peeling the wet bandages from around his hand. It didn't look too bad, but he'd still keep it tucked away as much as possible. He grabbed his hair gel from under the sink, cursing his bad choices when he realized he broke the only mirror in his apartment. He couldn't even use his phone's camera because he had left his cell at Shield before the mission. Steve brought the jar with him to his bedroom, grabbing some smart slacks and a button down to wear to the meeting.
He had started getting a little more lax with his wardrobe these last few months, seeing as no one else seemed to care how they dressed. Tony always showed up in old band shirts and Clint and Natasha always looked ready for a fight. He was the Captain though, so he should hold himself to a higher standard. Why would anyone else consider how they presented themselves if their leader didn't? Steve styled his hair as best he could by feel and practice, sweeping it to the side so it didn't fall forward onto his face. Maybe he should just cut it short? Get a nice, tight style more befitting of someone with his title. He wasn't in the military anymore, but he should still personify the rank if he was going to use it. The only reason he kept it this long was because his mother had loved it so much. She'd run her fingers through it, murmuring about how beautiful his golden locks were. That they reminded her of the wheat fields she and his father had driven past after they got married, the one time they had taken off on a vacation. So he'd always kept it slightly longer than the other boys, so his ma could look at it and smile.
Steve pushed those thoughts away, finishing up getting ready to go. It wasn't anything he could take care of now, so no point in thinking about it. Especially right before his meeting. He rifled through his drawers, looking for the stash of money he kept in case of emergencies. His wallet was still at Shield too. He looked down at himself, making sure everything was in perfect order. He was the pressed pants and ironed shirt, not the rumpled scrubs covered in tears.
The ride in the back of the cab was spent going over what he was going to say to Fury. First, he was going to apologize. When Shield told him he was going to be paid for all the years he spent in the ice, he had been mortified. He couldn't fathom being paid for doing nothing. Tony had joked that he was the only person in history who had become a millionaire by being an ice cube. Steve had resolved then to earn every cent they insisted on paying him. So this six day impromptu vacation would need to be worked off and he would assure Fury that this wouldn't happen again.
And secondly, he was going to ask for a full after action report. He needed to know what he did wrong, so he wouldn't make those same mistakes. It was embarrassing for something like this to have happened on such a basic mission. But the only way to get better was to learn. Steve expected a full dressing down from Fury and he'd take it.
What he didn't know how to approach was Stark. Had he already told everyone what happened yesterday? Were there video clips of his breakdown spreading around the tower? Tony had sounded remorseful after the fact, but it could've been a ruse. A way to lull Steve into a false sense of security so he could pull the rug out from under him again. He didn't want to believe Tony could be so cruel, but yesterday had been so unexpectedly brutal that he wasn't sure if he knew the man at all anymore.
If someone had asked him just a week ago to describe Tony Stark, Steve would've said he was a good man. Even after all the stuff at the tower. He would've declared that to anyone, anywhere. Tony Stark had defied previous misconceptions he had the second he'd put his life on the line to save the city. Once you got past the public persona and hubris, there was a man who was working to right his wrongs of the past. A man trying to make a better future for everyone. He could've taken his money and just lived in excess somewhere, doing whatever he wanted without a care. But he chose to fight evil. To risk a life that could be spent in paradise and bliss. Steve would've said that Tony Stark is who everyone should strive to be.
But after yesterday, he just didn't know. Nothing could discount his almost sacrifice during the Battle of New York, but was there a sinister quality to the man that Steve hadn't seen before? Everything up until that point could be explained away. Steve had never outwardly reacted to any stunt Tony pulled on him in the tower, until the day he finally left. Even then, he hadn't shown anger, just quiet resignation while he packed and left. But every time before then, he'd just grit his teeth and pretend it didn't bother him, saving his true reaction for the privacy of his room. But yesterday, saying that it was in poor taste was an understatement. That was the act of someone actively trying to hurt another person. And why would Tony do it? Steve didn't think Tony wanted him off the team. Even with all the discord, they worked well together in the field. And yeah, Howard may have been less than a stellar father because he was busy with his mission, but you could hardly blame Steve for that.
Maybe Tony would be fine pretending like it never happened. Steve wasn't planning on bringing it up, because what good would it do? It would just open him up for ridicule if it seemed like he expected an apology. And it was Steve's own fault that he'd reacted so poorly. No matter what another person does to you, you are responsible for your own actions. Tony had gotten all he was going to get from Steve.
The cab dropped him off down the street from the Shield building, giving him a short walk to solidify his mindset. Captain America was unshakable. He'd go in, get through the meeting, then move on. There was no need to worry about the past, he'd have countless opportunities to prove himself in future missions. And Captain America fought nazis, he could handle Tony Stark.
Steve bypassed the front desk, heading straight for the elevators. He knew where he was going and didn't need to sign in. The elevator was blessedly empty when it came and he rode up in a peaceful silence. He'd come to really appreciate the calm that came with quiet, after living in the tower where there was always something going on. And during the war when every little sound meant potential danger. You could never be lonely if you enjoyed your own company.
Steve threw his shoulders back, striding confidently out of the elevator. If Stark had told anyone about what happened yesterday, all they'd have to do is take one look at Captain America and know it wasn't true. This man did not break down. He was strength personified.
"Director Fury will see you in conference room A," Fury's secretary informed him, as he passed by her desk. He gave her a polite smile and nod, noting that she didn't seem to be looking at him any differently than usual. That was a good sign.
The conference room was empty when he got there, which was also a good sign. If you weren't early, you were late. And being late told the person who you were meeting that you didn't respect their time. And that yours was more important. Tony always breezed in whenever he felt like it, and usually sidetracked the whole thing. They were so fundamentally different, no wonder they butted heads so much.
Steve heard the door open behind him and he turned to greet the newcomer, expecting Director Fury. An unusually sedate looking Tony slid into the room, staying near the door. Normally he'd come in talking, complaining about Shield or Fury or whatever it was that was cutting into his busy schedule, but not today. Steve was almost tempted to make a joke about Tony never being this early to a meeting, but he didn't. They didn't have that kind of relationship anymore. Steve just gave him a nod and went back to staring out the window, silently hoping Fury would get there soon. He could hear Stark moving around behind him, but he did his best to ignore it. No small talk was necessary in his opinion.
"Hey Cap, about yesterday-" Tony started, before Steve cut him off.
"There's no need to discuss it," Steve snapped, forcing himself to take a calming breath. If Tony could hear the anger in his voice, he'd know he wasn't over it and it would be a weak point he could exploit. "Did you tell anyone about it?"
"Of course not!" Tony exclaimed, sounding more nervous than Steve expected. Maybe Tony wouldn't tell anyone because it looked bad for him too.
"Good. So we can just forget about it," Steve declared, turning to eye the man. Tony looked surprised, like he had been expecting something else from him. Maybe a bawling puddle? Or maybe even a punch? Anything but cold indifference. Steve hoped he was disappointed.
"Glad to see you both could make it on time," Fury said, breezing into the room. He went to stand at the head of the table, Steve and Tony going to opposite sides to stand beside him. "And good to see you on your feet Captain."
"Thank you sir," Steve said, standing tall with his hands clasped behind his back. He was ready to hear any disappointment from Fury. "It won't happen again."
"Let's hope not," Fury said gruffly, signalling for them to sit down. Steve sat stiffly in the chair, keeping his face blank. He knew Fury wouldn't be pleased with his extended recovery time, but it still stung his pride to hear those words. Steve's words didn't hold the power they should, because if he said something, people should be able to accept it as truth. And the fact that Fury had to hope for the best, meant he was prepared, or even expecting the worst.
"I'd like to hear what happened during the last mission from your perspective, since I've already gotten Stark's report," Fury directed, fixing him with a pointed stare. Of course Tony had already told Fury his version, probably full of outlandish flourishes to make himself look better. Tony always used fifty words when ten would do, and half of them wouldn't even be about the topic at hand.
Steve started recounting the facts, being brief and precise. He mentioned the robots, Tony clearing the buildings, saving the little girl, and the knock to his skull. If only he'd been better, if he'd moved before the building fell on him, all of this could've been avoided. He could still be in his little bubble where he thought his role on the team was secure.
"I never got your message about the girl," Tony said, glaring over at Fury. "The geniuses he sent to figure out how to stop the robots blocked the frequencies of our comms, instead of the robots. So I had no idea what happened to you until you didn't meet me in the middle."
That made Steve feel a little bit better. There had been a small part in the back of his mind that thought Tony was ignoring him, even when he was calling for help. But that would've been too callous, even for Tony.
"It was a mistake," Fury growled, glaring back. "We all make them, even you." Steve looked up sharply at Tony, tendrils of panic crawling up his spine. What mistake was Fury talking about? Did he know about yesterday? If anyone could sniff out a hint of weakness, it would be Fury. He'd been at this job for so long, it was almost impossible to pull one over on the man. And Tony did look guilty. Had he lied when he said he hadn't told anyone? Not telling didn't necessarily mean no one else knew.
"What are we talking about?" Steve asked, staring daggers at Tony. If Fury knew about the incident, he sure wasn't acting the way Steve thought he would. But what else could he be talking about right now? Fury wasn't the kind of person to dive deep into the past to play tit for tat with someone, this had to be something recent.
"When I finally got to you, I honestly thought you were dead," Tony started, looking away from both of them. Steve was taken aback a little, not expecting Tony to feel any type of way about his health and not realizing how bad he must've looked to garner this reaction. "There was so much blood and the comms weren't working, I couldn't leave you there to get picked off by the robots so I picked you up and carried you away. I found the little girl and she was freaking out, crying about what happened, so I flew her to where all the others had been left, then took you back to the jet."
Steve bristled a bit upon hearing Tony mention the little girl, thinking back to the older woman from yesterday, but he was glad to hear that she had been found safe and sound. Other than that, he didn't hear anything yet that could be considered a mistake.
"The injuries you sustained were pretty serious. You had a minor skull fracture and some spinal damage. The doctors wanted to keep you sedated to give the serum a chance to do its job, instead of hoping you stayed asleep while they performed surgery," Fury explained. "But then you started waking up. Any moving you did would set back your recovery, so that's when Stark came in." Fury looked pointedly at Tony, prodding him to explain the next part. Steve didn't remember waking up at all before yesterday
"Bruce and I have kind of been working on something to give you, in situations such as these. Since the serum makes you burn through normal painkillers and anesthetics faster than they have any effect. We were going to talk to you about it, see if you'd be willing to try it out, but you never wanted to come to the tower," Tony muttered, staring down at the table. "I had Jarvis fly some over to the hospital and kind of told the doctors we had tested it already. It took some convincing, but I finally got the doctors to let me inject some. And, in my defense, it worked. Just a little too well."
Steve froze, a million thoughts running through his head. He had been so scared that he had fallen into a random hibernation, that medical intervention had never crossed his mind. Tony was responsible for this? How could he and Bruce work on something like this and not even mention it? They'd had countless opportunities to do so, even if Steve never went to the tower anymore. And Tony thought experimenting on him while he was in such a vulnerable state was appropriate?
Tony was a great actor, pretending he was remorseful in front of Fury, when he had pulled that prank right after his so called mistake. That wasn't the act of a man who was sorry for what he'd done. That was the act of a man taking advantage of an opportunity he set up himself. Or was it even worse than that?
Had Tony put him to sleep for so long… on purpose?