Hi! I'm early today! I'm not up to much so I thought I would update earlier. I just want to say thank you for the support with this story and I will be continuing to update it. Also thank you for the kind reviews, I do see them and I am very appreciative of them!

Tris

Holy shit. He's not kidding.

Amar drops us at the waterfront park. Right as a helicopter descends.

The gust blows my hair, my coat, my dress. It's like something out of a movie. The couple rushing to get out of town.

Tobias looks to me with a cocky smile. He holds out his hand. Motions after you.

For a moment, I see the boy I fell in love with so many years ago. A confident boy with a lust for life as big as his ego. The wonder and charm that defined him.

They didn't seem boyish at the time—I was barely fourteen—but they do now.

Is that part of him still there? It's hard to imagine Tobias looking at anything with wide-eyed wonder. But it's there in his gorgeous blue eyes.

He's looking at me like I'm the most interesting things in the universe. Like I'm an uncharted island he wants to explore.

My heart races as I take his hand and follow him to the helicopter.

The pilot helps me up the stairs. Into the tiny cockpit.

Tobias places headphones over my ears. At once, the overwhelming whir of the blades quiets.

The pilot's voice comes through the speakers. A deep voice with a British accent. "You must be Tris." He turns enough to shake my hand. "I'm Uriah."—he winks at Tobias—"friend of your fiancé's. Congratulations by the way."

Tobias returns a knowing look.

"Now, buckle up, kids. You don't want to die before your honeymoon." His smile lights up his dark eyes. They're gorgeous eyes.

He's a tall guy. Broad and muscular. Dark skin. Short hair. Winning smile.

I try to close my eyes and imagine him over me, under me, behind me.

It's no good. My head still goes to Tobias.

Then the helicopter moves and my thoughts disappear. It's actually...

Woah.

I reach for something steady. I grab Tobias' hand.

My eyes go to his.

His baby blues are still full of wonder. But they're comforting too. His touch is comforting.

I squeeze his hand. He squeezes back a little harder. Just hard enough I know he's there. Just hard enough I feel safe. I hate that I feel safe from his touch, but I do.

The helicopter rises slowly. Then we're moving forward. Over the city.

It's a different view. The tops of skyscrapers. Rooftop gardens. People drinking at a balcony bar.

It's not like a plane. We aren't that high up. People aren't ants. Cars aren't the size of toys. But they're still far away. Smaller. Like they don't matter. Like we're so far above it all, none of it matters.

Tobias points to our right.

It's beautiful. The sun, sinking into the horizon, streaking the sky orange, casting its glow over the Hudson.

The pilot says a few things about the city and the view. But I don't catch any of them. Only the orange glow of sunset reflecting off Tobias' smile.

It's such a beautiful smile. I miss it. I miss him. The person I was with him.

But that was another lifetime ago.

And this—

The helicopter jerks forward. Tobias squeezes a little tighter. The pilot says something about it being normal. All clear. It's just a bumpy ride.

Don't think about the helicopter crash in that Jurassic Park movie. Which one was it? And when did I find time to watch it?

Dad wanted to see it. Something about the dinosaurs. And the views of Hawaii. And wouldn't it be great to live there one day, on an island where our biggest concern is the best waves?

Or maybe that was me. I'm not sure. Neither one of us knows how to surf. We barely ever see the beach. Once or twice a summer, if his health allows.

Maybe I can take him out to Montauk on the LIRR. The coast is beautiful.

Or maybe we can fly there in a fucking helicopter.

My heart thuds against my chest. We're so far up. It feels so dangerous.

I should be terrified. But I'm not. The thrill is exhilarating.

New.

When was the last time I felt this kind of excitement? I'm not sure. I'm not sure what I'm trying to do here or what I'm going to tell my father.

I'm only sure of one thing, I want more of this feeling. And Tobias is the only one who can give it to me.

xxx

Sure enough, we land on the roof of the hospital.

Uriah bids us farewell. Helps an EMT climb into the helicopter. Apparently, he's a colleague of Tobias who does rescue missions in his spare time.

Another rich man with the world at his fingertips.

I suppose I shouldn't judge. The guy is using his free time to volunteer. Sure, his volunteer method requires all sorts of money. But he's still offering his spare time.

That's more than I can say.

Once upon a time, I dreamed of volunteering at community theatre productions. Or even teaching high school students theatre. I've never had time. Or knowledge.

It's been forever since I've read a play, much less practised acting.

How would I teach a thirteen-year-old the basics when I barely know them myself?

I guess this is my chance. I'm unemployable in the world of venture capital. Wherever I work next, it's going to take a while to find a new gig. To find an industry where my status as the future Mrs Tobias Eaton doesn't hurt me.

Or maybe I should live more like Susan. Fall in love with the life of luxury. Spend my days fixing tea and taking private acting classes. Spend my nights attending every play in the city. And, while I'm at it, why not fly to London once a month to take in some theatre in the West End?

Tobias can find a helicopter-like that. A first-class ticket to London is nothing. Probably not enough for him. He probably demands a private jet.

It's ridiculous. But then it's more ridiculous to deny his wealth.

If Dad knew I was rejecting Tobias' generosity, he'd shake his head. We have limited resources in life, Tris. You need to take advantage of them when you have a chance.

It's smart. Smarter than letting my pride rule my decisions. I'm not too good for Tobias' money. I've got the paperwork to prove it.

And now...

I suck in a deep breath. Press my lips into my best smile.

It's not good. Too customer service. Too I will not allow you to ruffle me.

This is my father. I don't want to lie to him.

I may not be happy about my current circumstance, but I'm happy Tobias paid for Dad's treatment. That's something. That's huge.

I try to focus on the weight no longer on my shoulders. It's bigger than that. A noose no longer around my neck.

An ability to breathe again.

I take Tobias' hand and follow him down the hallway. All the way to Dad's room in the corner. "I'll go first. Explain the surprise."

Tobias nods sure.

I take a deep breath. Exhale all the tension in my shoulders. Dad's treatment is covered. That's what matters. That's the only thing that matters. I turn the handle. "Hey."

Dad lights up as I step into the room. "Tris, You're early today."

"You don't want to see me?"

"Mariah promised she'd bring me tea from that shop down the street." He motions to the tin in the corner, next to Mom's statue. "I'm out of Tea." He smiles that same warm smile. A happy memory. He's so positive, even after everything. "She's not as pretty as your mother, but she's a looker."

"Isn't she wearing a wedding ring?"

"I still have a chance."

A laugh spills from my lips. "You are her type." I motion to the stack of historical fiction, all secondhand, courtesy of Mariah's husband. Because we can't afford new books.

Though now... I can buy my dad a new book. One of those hardcovers that goes for some ridiculous twenty-dollar-plus price. I can buy over-priced tea from the bookstore while I'm there.

I can probably buy the book shop.

At the very least, I can book an expensive afternoon tea for two at some hotel that charges four-figures a night.

My chest warms at the thought. This is good news. For him. For us. Maybe not for me. But that's okay. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

"I have something to tell you," I say.

"You've finally finished The Da Vinci Code?" He smiles. "I'm so proud of you. Finally seeing the light."

"No." My laugh is easy. I pull a chair next to his bed. Take a seat. "I'm still struggling."

He shakes his head. "One day, you'll see the brilliance."

"One day." I have time now. I can read anything. Everything. I can build a library of historical fiction. Or especially smutty romance. Or literary classics. Or every play in the English language. "I've been busy."

He waves his hand psh. "You're always busy. You work too much."

"Actually." I bite my lip. Try to find the best way to phrase this. One with the fewest lies. "I've been spending my time on other things."

His interest piques.

"An old friend." I motion to the door. Raise my voice so he can hear outside. "Come in."

Tobias opens the door and steps inside. "Mr Prior, it's nice to see you again." He moves close enough to the hospital bed to shake Dad's hand.

Dad looks at me funny, but he still shakes. "You too, Tobias." He turns his attention to Tobias. "I haven't heard about you in quite some time. And what I did hear wasn't the most complimentary."

"Yes." Tobias nods. His voice gets soft. Sheepish even. "Your daughter and I didn't part on the best terms. That was my fault. I didn't realize she was willing to go to such great lengths for the people she loved."

Dad raises a brow. What is he talking about?

There's no easy way to say it. And I'm not about to open up the whole Tobias is an alcoholic conversation.

Dad is old-fashioned about these things. He doesn't buy into the idea of addiction and sobriety. If you drink too much, you learn some responsibility and drink less. End of story.

Rehab and addiction are problems for spoiled white kids.

Which...

Sure, that's true a lot of the time. But addiction doesn't discriminate. We know plenty of people who'd benefit from a twelve-step program. And that whole hardworking immigrant, the only problems that matter are the practical one's thing—

It can be good, in certain ways. It keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously. But it denies our emotions too. Grief isn't as big a problem as poverty.

And the tools for dealing with it?

We don't talk about therapy or medication or even acupuncture. We don't talk about it, period.

I've held this grief on my own for such a long time. I've kept things together for such a long time. I don't mind it, exactly, but I am tired.

I'm tired of pretending there isn't a hole in my heart.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Dad rests his hand on mine. "Did you skip dinner again?"

"It's early." Earlier than I usually visit, at least.

He shakes his head. Motions to Tobias. "Are you going to talk some sense into my daughter? She's never eating enough. She's getting too thin."

Tobias smiles. "She looks beautiful."

"But thin?"

Tobias' eyes flit over my body. It's quick. Too quick for Dad to notice. But it screams of him picturing me naked.

"I'll make sure she eats something after this." He smiles at Dad. "She doesn't always take care of herself."

Dad nods she doesn't. "She has the tea covered though."

"Actually, I was thinking." I clear my throat. "Tobias is terrible with tea. He threw out the leaves after the first steep."

Dad shakes his head so horrible.

"I was thinking you could show him how it's done. Give him a little lesson, maybe," I say. "Trust me. He needs it."

Tobias laughs. He's seamlessly playing the part of doting boyfriend. Or maybe that's how he feels. Maybe he misses this kind of familial exchange.

He only has his stepfather now, and last I heard, they aren't in touch. Besides, it's hard to imagine the two of them having this sort of easy conversation.

"You haven't said why you've brought your ex-boyfriend to visit me," Dad says. "I may be a sick, old man, but I'm not a fool. I can't imagine he's here just because." He turns to me, searching my expression for an explanation. "It's been a long time."

"Yes," I say.

"But he has been in New York awhile now," Dad says.

I do nothing to hide my surprise.

"Sweetie, like I said, I'm not a fool. I read the news," Dad says. "And Zeke still visits sometimes."

Tobias' smile disappears. He's still angry with his friend. For the whole go to rehab or you're out of the company thing? Or because he believes I slept with Zeke.

I should explain no, I didn't, I'd never. I should erase those fears. But there's something inside me that refuses. Something that wants his jealousy.

I spent the last year hearing rumours about him tying up models. He can spend a few weeks wondering if his best friend fucked me senseless.

Though... From what I hear, Zeke has a similar taste for domination. He tried to keep things quiet when he was sleeping with an intern at Odyssey. But he never was as discrete as he thought.

Zeke and Shauna are together now. They're happy. Engaged even. We talk every so often. Sometimes, the three of us have dinner. I love them like family. But it's hard to see them. To see him, at least. He reminds me of Tobias. He reminds me of everything I've lost.

Now... "I didn't know Zeke visited. That's sweet of him." I fold my right hand over my left. Dad still hasn't noticed my ring. Or maybe he just hasn't said anything. He's usually aware of these things. "When did you last see him?"

"He didn't mention anything about Tobias." Dad raises a brow. "Because he didn't know?"

"We've been keeping this to ourselves," Tobias says. He sells it with a big smile. He's the picture of a happy boyfriend. "I hate to admit it, but I'm greedy. I've been taking advantage of your daughter's time."

"He is greedy." I can agree there.

Tobias shoots me a knowing look. His smile shifts to something real. Teasing even. "I hate to do this so awkwardly, but I'd like to make a request."

"The tea?" Dad raises a brow. "I can teach you, but there are some things you learn here." He presses his hand to his heart. "You learn how to feel it. You learn through repetition. Like playing an instrument. It's more than following the scales. It's letting them sink into your bones."

Tobias just smiles. "I see where Tris gets it."

"Come here." Dad sits up straight. He motions to the electric kettle in the corner. Smuggled in. Not at all regulation. Only allowed because he fixes Mariah green tea on her breaks.

Shit, maybe he does have a chance. Maybe Mariah and her husband are a modern couple with some kind of open arrangement. Or maybe they're like me and Tobias. Married for some other purpose.

Well, what we'll be like. And, oh my God, I'm not thinking about my father sleeping with a married woman in an open relationship. Yes, I want him to be happy. I want him to move on. But I don't want to hear about it.

Besides, he deserves better than another man status.

I mean—

Ahem.

I try to tune into the room as Dad walks Tobias through the steps to fixing tea.

Tobias listens closely. He nods along, even as Dad steers into asides about the mountains in China, from when he was travelling or Mom sipping a cup before dinner, every single day. He studies the way Dad scoops the tea, holds the kettle, pours.

They finish the first steeping. Pass a cup to me.

I hold it up. "Cheers." My glass taps Tobias. Then my father's.

Dad's eyes stay on me. He knows something is happening. Knows something is different.

But maybe he'll believe this story. It's easier to convince someone of something they want to believe. And he wants me to be happy. He wants to know someone is there to take care of me.

He wants to walk me down the aisle and meet his grandchildren. He wants to believe that's possible.

I swallow a sip of my tea. "Good." It is good. Perfectly steeped. Strong but not astringent. Tobias is a fast learner. And Dad is happy teaching.

"Tell me about multiple steepings," Tobias says. "Your daughter was quite poetic about it."

"I get that from him." I take another sip. Let it warm my chest. Let myself believe this ruse.

"Yes, she does." Dad smiles. "Most teas can take multiple steepings. Some are meant for it. The typical way of preparing tea, here"—he points to the gaiwan, a small cup with a lid. Then he takes off the lid—"we use more tea and less water. So we can go through more steepings. Because each time we add water to the tea, the leaves open a little more." He motions to the unfurling leaves.

Tobias nods with understanding.

"They offer a different flavour. See." He uses the lid to strain the tea into a small glass. Offers the glass to Tobias.

Tobias takes a long sip. "Sweeter."

"And now, the leaves are even more open, so we'll taste even more of the flavour. It takes patience and love to coax every note of flavour from the tea, but it's worth the effort." Dad looks to me. He's saying something. Talking about more than tea.

But I'm not getting his meaning. "It is." I finish my cup. Offer it to him, so he can strain another for me.

Tobias takes a long sip. He sets his cup down. "My mother always said tea is sunshine in a mug."

"Evelyn was a wonderful woman. I'm sorry you lost her," Dad says.

"Thank you." Tobias nods. For a second, his facade breaks. Sadness creeps into his eyes. His lip corners turn down. Then he forces a smile. "She said it was like love. If you're patient and you treat someone well, they'll give you all this happiness. If you don't give them what they need, they'll be bitter or sour."

Dad nods true.

"That's why I'm here, Mr Prior. I hate to cut to the chase, but I have to." Tobias turns to me and holds out his hand. "I know I should have asked first, but I'm asking now." He motions for me to place my hand in his.

I do.

Dad notices the light bouncing off the massive rock.

"I'd like your daughter's hand in marriage," Tobias says. "I'd like your blessing. Will you allow me to marry Tris?"