EXT. SNOWY MOUNTAIN FOREST - NIGHT

The party is running wildly through the forest in pursuit of Trip.

ARCHER
Trip! TRIP! Wait!

TRIP
I'm only gonna eat 'im if he's already dead!

ARCHER
You're not eating anybody! We're blind, Trip! If you don't slow down you're gonna crash into a - *WUMP!*

Archer runs facefirst into a tree. Hoshi, T'Pol, Malcolm, and Travis stop and crouch down next to him.

HOSHI
(yelling after Trip)
Commander! Commander, stop, the captain's knocked out!

ARCHER
Oh! Oh, my nose! My nose!

HOSHI
Nevermind, it's just his nose!

TRIP
(voice echoing as he disappears into the darkness)
I just want the leg meat! Ya'll can have the rest of 'im!

HOSHI
Commander, just stop and come back! We're not cannibals!

TRIP
(voice echoing, getting further away)
Then what was all that drawin' straws about?

ARCHER
To decide *pant* which one of us goes out *pant* and tries to shoot a deer! Oh, god, where's my nose?!

Trip slows down and comes to a gradual stop. He makes a u-turn and jogs back to the rest of the party. Malcolm and Travis are frantically searching through the snow for Archer's nose.

TRIP
A deer?

ARCHER
Yeah, or some sort of animal. Not *pant* to determine which of us gets eaten.

TRIP
Aw shoot, I didn't realize.

T'POL
It was your idea, commander.

MALCOLM
It was.

TRIP
Sorry. Guess I misunderstood.

T'POL
You misunderstood yourself?

TRIP
(exasperated)
Yeah, I misunderstood myself. I get real confused when I'm hungry. I ain't perfect, ya know.

T'POL
As evidenced by your grasp of the English language.

TRIP
My English is fine!

T'POL
Spell "hypotenuse".

TRIP
Aha! Yer tryna trick me! That's not a real word!

T'POL
(raising an eyebrow)
My point has been made.

ARCHER
That's enough, you two. Now please, if everyone just pitches in and helps look for my nose, we'll be able to find it and get back to the igloo.

TRAVIS
(searching through the snow)
I think I found it! No, nevermind, just a rock.

MALCOLM
No, here it is!

HOSHI
That's a pinecone!

MALCOLM
It is not!
(examines it)
Oh, blimey, you're right.

TRAVIS
Should probably hang onto it, just in case.

MALCOLM
In case what?

TRAVIS
In case we can't find the captain's nose.

ARCHER
I'm not going to walk around with a pinecone attached to my face, Ensign. However…Porthos could use something to play with, so bring it along.