After Harry and I went on our epic first date, The Author went quiet.

Too quiet.

Seriously, I tried getting her attention multiple times but she just ignored me—for months. I probably should have been more annoyed by this, but honestly, it was kind of nice—liberating, even. Left to our own devices, Harry and I just carried on as normal. We went on a few more dates before making our relationship official. It took Ron and Hermione some time to warm to me, but I think they were just relieved that Harry was happy. We quickly fell into a comfortable routine. I hung up the pistols and retired from mercenary work, and with Harry's help, I finally got the chance to fulfill a childhood dream of mine: running a pet store that doubles as a bakery. Sure, it's not particularly hygienic but it's popular with the customers. I'd spend my days selling cupcakes and petting kittens, and then I'd go home at night and snuggle up on the sofa with Harry, watching romantic comedies. Dumbledore checked in with us every so often, keeping us updated on the Unspeakables' efforts to get me home, but so far, nothing concrete had been achieved. Turns out transdimensional travel was difficult to master, even in the fictional literary universe. It was disappointing to hear, but all things considered, life was pretty sweet. For the first time in my life, I had nobody scripting my every move. My life was finally my own, and damn did it feel good.

As the months passed and Christmas fast approached, Harry and I decided that we'd rather spend the holidays in the conveniently secluded cabin that we'd recently purchased. It was a picture-perfect Christmas Eve. After a hellish week at work, Harry and I absconded to our secret cabin in the woods to celebrate our first Christmas together. Nobody knew where we were (well, except Ron and Hermione, of course) and the first thing that we did once we lit a log fire was tear off all of our clothes and fall into bed as one, our passion for one another burning like the flames in the fireplace. Now, we lay wrapped in each other's arms in front of a roaring fire, admiring the twinkling lights of the beautifully decorated Christmas tree in the corner of the room—

"Hold up," I said suddenly. "Haven't we done this scene already?"

Harry propped himself up on his elbows and frowned. "Yeah, this all seems oddly familiar. Can two people experience déjà vu at the same time?"

I shook my head. "This isn't déjà vu. This is something else. Something way more insidious."

Without warning, a huge Catherine wheel portal burst into existence in front of the Christmas tree. Harry yelped and scrambled for his wand, but I grabbed his wrist and lowered his arm. As I suspected, none other than Doctor Stephen Strange appeared through the portal and sauntered into the cabin. He looked down at Harry and I lying naked on the hearth rug and cocked an eyebrow.

"Did I come at a bad time?" he asked.

"Yeah, you could say that. I'm on vacation," I drawled. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Strange frowned at me. "I came to bring you home, of course. I figured a year stuck in this universe was punishment enough."

My stomach dropped. Of course, I'd almost forgotten that this whole story started with Strangey throwing a hissy fit and dumping me here in the first place. I looked at Harry, whose expression was resigned and he shrugged.

"We both knew that this day would come eventually. I just hoped that...well. At least you'll get home in time for Christmas."

"Home to what?" I cried. "My life is here with you."

Harry's eyes welled with tears. "I know. I don't want you to leave but we know that this is the way that it has to be."

"But who'll feed the kittens at the pet store?" I argued. "Who'll make you tasty tacos just the way that you like them? Who's going to laugh at my jokes?"

"You need to go," Harry insisted. "Remember what Dumbledore said about the Romantic Comedy Formula—after we get together, there comes the inevitable break-up."

"But I don't want to break up with you," I croaked.

Harry took hold of my hand and gave it a tight squeeze. "I don't want to break up with you either, but we have to in order for the story to progress. Once we break up, there'll be another montage with some soul-searching and sad music playing in the background, and then, if all goes well, we'll find each other again."

"This is a really heart-wrenching moment, but could you please put on some clothes?" Strange cut in, his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"Hey!" I snapped, rounding on him. "You're the one that came barging in here without an invitation. If you don't like us sitting here butt naked having a moment, you can get lost!"

Ignoring the scandalized expression on Strange's face, Harry grabbed his wand and with the flick of his wrist we were fully dressed again. Pocketing his wand, he sighed and got to his feet. "Wade, I'm not happy about this either, but you and I both know that if we don't let the storyline progress, we'll be stuck in limbo forever. We need to do this."

"This is bullshit!" I shouted. "Who makes up the rules for how a romantic comedy should progress?"

"She does," said Harry. "Besides, we made a deal. If we renege, there's no telling what she'll do."

As much as I hated to admit it, I knew that Harry was right. I looked between him and Strange, trying desperately to think of a loophole of some kind, but I knew there wasn't one. Defeated, my shoulders sagged and I buried my face in my hands. "I hate this."

"Me too," said Harry mournfully, pulling me into a tight hug as I started to cry. "It won't be forever. We'll find each other again."

Strange checked his watch and sighed. "Are you about done here? I've got more important things to do than chauffeur you across the multiverse."

"Give us a minute!" Harry snapped. He pulled my cell phone out of his pocket and pressed it into my hand. "An early Christmas present: I enchanted it so that you'll never need to charge it again."

I sniffed loudly and slipped the phone into my pocket. "Thank you."

"One more thing before you go," he said, hurrying towards the Christmas tree. He rummaged through the pile of gifts and grabbed a small box wrapped in emerald green paper. Holding it out to me, he said, "I'd intended on giving this to you on Christmas morning, but…well, since we're so short of time, I want to give it to you now."

Curious, I tore off the wrapping paper to reveal a black velvet ring box. My heart began pounding painfully in my chest. Sure enough, when I opened the box, inside was an engagement ring.

"Harry…"

"This past year has been the craziest year of my life, and that's really saying something," he declared. "But it's also been the happiest time in my life, and that's all because of you. You make me feel safe, and loved, and you make me laugh, every single day. I know that the circumstances around us meeting are predestined, but I still choose you. I'll always choose you, Wade, because I love you."

I looked down at the ring, feeling light-headed at the depth of Harry's words. "You know, it's only now that I realize that I'd never experienced true happiness before. I put on a good show of it for the readers, but I was never truly happy. Not until I met you."

"So, it's a yes?" Harry asked keenly. "Will you marry me?"

"Of course, I will!" I cried, laughing as tears streamed down my cheeks. "Yes. A thousand times yes."

Relief swept across Harry's face and he pulled me in for a passionate kiss as the orchestral music swelled in the background. Strange looked around with a confused expression.

"Where is that music coming from?" he asked, but we ignored him. This was our moment and we weren't going to let that Vincent Price wannabe ruin it for us. Reluctantly, I broke the kiss, but I clung to Harry like my life depended on it.

"Even if it takes me forever, I'll find you again," I promised. "I love you."

(Author) Okay, STOP. Please, just stop.

Harry and Doctor Strange both flinched and looked up at the ceiling in surprise.

"Who the hell is that?" Harry asked.

"Wait. You can hear her?" I gasped.

"Obviously, we can hear her, whoever she is," Strange sneered, covering his ears. "It's difficult to ignore the disembodied voice booming in our ears!"

I looked up towards the heavens and there was The Author, looking down at me with puffy red eyes and dabbing her nose with a tissue. "Where the hell have you been?"

(Author) Me? I've been here the whole time.

"Then why have you been ignoring my calls?" I raged.

(Author) You looked like you and Harry were getting on fine without me. I didn't want to disturb you.

"Then why are you here now?"

(Author) Well...okay, I was going to write a few extra chapters about you going back to your universe, detailing how miserable and depressed you were without Harry. I had every intention of returning you to this world so that you'd have a tearful reunion but...oh, after writing that declaration of love between the two of you, I just can't do it. You boys have been through such a rough time of it already, it would be cruel of me to separate you when you've finally found true happiness with each other.

Moved by her own words, The Author started to cry again. Strange frowned. "Excuse me, but I didn't understand any of that. Who are we talking to right now? And what are they talking about—are they writing some kind of story? And what's it got to do with me?"

"It's a long story," I sighed.

Harry tentatively rose his hand. "Excuse me, Miss...sorry, I don't know what to call you."

(Author) Just call me Mrs M.

"Okay, Mrs M. Why can I hear you now when I haven't been able to before?"

(Author) Because I want you to hear me now.

"Oh."

(Author) That's one of the benefits of being a writer, you're basically God. It's pretty cool but it's a big responsibility, you know? I try not to abuse it.

"Okay. Um, if you don't mind me asking, how does this affect the deal that we made? We've done everything that you've asked. Does this mean that you're still going to hold up your end of the bargain?"

(Author) Of course. Your cooperation in this story will of course be rewarded. You both want to be mortal, right?

"Uh, yeah."

(Author) Done.

Harry blinked. "That's it?"

(Author) Yup.

"Huh."

(Author) What's the matter?

"Nothing, I just thought it would be more dramatic."

(Author) Do you want it to be more dramatic? Because I can add some lightning and suspenseful music for effect.

But Harry shook his head. "No, no. This is fine, thank you."

"And what about the other part?" I asked. "The part where we forget that we're fictional characters?"

Strange's eyes widened with shock. "What do you mean, 'we're fictional characters'?"

(Author) Sure thing. I can do it right now, if you'd like?

"Really?" I asked hopefully. "Just like that, the story is over with?"

(Author) Of course. This is my story, I can do whatever the hell I want.

I couldn't believe it. The moment I had dreamed of was finally here. Suddenly, I didn't quite know what to do with myself. "Wow. Okay, um…is there anything that needs to be done before we do this thing?"

(Author) Not really. I just want you to be fully aware of what you're letting yourself in for before you make your decision.

"What do you mean?" I asked cautiously.

(Author) Well, you could go home to your own universe, if you really want to. Of course, that means that you and Harry will never see each other again, and once you leave, you'll both forget that the other person existed.

"Well, that sounds particularly appealing," I mused. "What's option two?"

(Author) You stay here with Harry and you'll become fully integrated into this universe, so much so that you'll forget everything about your previous life.

"I'll forget all about being a failed government experiment that suffers from clinical depression thanks to a crippling existential crisis?"

(Author) Yes.

"And I'll get to spend the rest of my life in the company of the man that I love, petting kittens and baking cakes every day?"

(Author) I take that you've already made your mind up.

I turned to Harry and we smiled at each other. "Yeah, I think I'm gonna stick around here for a while, thanks."

"Does that mean that I leave now?" Strange asked irritably.

(Author) Oh. Yes, you can go now.

"Thank god for that," he grumbled, opening up a portal and disappearing without a parting word. Harry and I looked up towards the Author.

"If you don't mind, Wade and I are ready to forget now," said Harry.

(Author) Alright...you know, once I do this, you'll forget about me too, of course.

"We know."

(Author) Cool. Well, I just wanted to take the opportunity to say that I'm a really big fan of both of you. It's been an honour and a pleasure to write your story.

I winked at The Author. "Don't mention it. And you know what? This story isn't half bad. You should consider going professional."

(Author) Why, thank you. Oh man, I'm really going to miss you guys.

"Hmm, I can't say the feeling's mutual," said Harry.

(Author) That's fair. Okay, let's do this thing, shall we?

"Do we have to do anything to trigger it?" I asked.

(Author) You only have to kiss, of course.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that. "A magic kiss. You had to squeeze in one last trope, didn't you?"

(Author) Naturally.

"Okay." Harry and I held hands and looked into each other's eyes. "Are you ready?"

Without hesitation, Harry lurched forward and kissed me. The moment our lips touched, the rest of the world melted away. It was like it was just me and Harry in a world of our own, and it was perfect. And this kiss...it felt different, somehow. Like we were kissing each other for the first time again. When he pulled away, Harry slowly opened his eyes and frowned.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine. It's just…" Harry looked around the cabin. "I dunno, I feel like I've just experienced déjà vu, or something. I can't quite describe it."

"You know what...now that you mention it, I have the same feeling," I said slowly, feeling slightly discombobulated.

"Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I feel like we were just talking to someone, too."

"Weird."

"Yeah, weird…" Pushing the strange feeling aside, I turned my attention back to Harry and wiggled my eyebrows at him. "I bet what you're experiencing is simply an overwhelming sense of desire when you lay your eyes upon me."

Harry grinned and slung his arms over my shoulders. "Yeah, it's probably just that."

"I mean, I am quite the catch," I joked. "With my rugged good looks and my great sense of humour. And I'm so charming, it's a wonder that anyone can resist me—"

Harry pressed his index finger to my lips and I fell silent. He knew all too well that I used humour as a defence mechanism when I was feeling insecure. Typical that my saboteur should rear its ugly head today of all days, and right after Harry had just proposed to me. Of course, I said yes. But sometimes, I still had my doubts that I was good enough for him. Harry, however, always knew exactly what to say to put me at ease.

"I think you're beautiful," he whispered with such sincerity that I couldn't help but believe him.

I pulled him close and kissed him soundly, the strange moment that we had both experienced all but forgotten. As we cuddled up on the sofa and watched the fire burn to embers, Harry asked, "Do you ever think about the day we met?"

"Not really," I admitted. "I prefer to think about the here and now."

"And what do you think about that?"

I smiled to myself and kissed the crown of Harry's head. "That life is pretty sweet."

And you know what? It was.