I guess I lied. Sorry. I really didn't expect me to have anything to say about an individual chapter.
Quick reminder. VonPelt has been beta'ing all the chapters so far. I think? Honestly they have blurred a little by the time I wrote this.
Where was I? Right. Nevermind. I think it was something like a warning... Maybe? Enjoy
Waske
XxX
Chapter 8
First Date
Harry had finally managed to find a day that fit both Jacque and Tonks before the month was up. It had been surprisingly easy but when one of them was only reachable by owl and the other one was doing long shifts at the Ministry it was hard to coordinate especially when you were trying to keep it a secret from everybody else. He even had to coordinate with Sirius to choreograph a big argument which would get him 'grounded' again. The hardest part about that was toeing the line between believable and hurtful. Both of them had vowed to not let their anger rule them and Harry had never felt closer than he did during their workouts in the mornings.
Tonks had even started joining them in the mornings where she didn't have to get in until later in the day. Those mornings had managed to simultaneously be the most and least productive for Harry. Sirius would tease him about his added enthusiasm whenever Tonks was out of earshot and Harry would get distracted by the tight fitting sports bra and legging which hugged her firm rear whenever she moved.
Harry wondered idly whether Tonks or Jacque had the best set of abs. Tonks was built like an amazon except for her height. She was only an inch taller than Harry, but he would still grow a few, or at least he hoped so. And Tonks could probably morph taller if she wanted to.
He had tried not asking anything about her abilities. It was obvious from her comments that they were a sore spot for her. Harry didn't want to dreg up old wounds, so all of his questions were kept to himself. One thing for sure was that any muscles she had were part of her own hard work and not a byproduct of her ability, which made them even hotter to Harry. He was certain you could bounce a galleon of any part of her body.
In a way her body had become the ideal he was striving for. There was not a single part of her which didn't look perfectly sculpted. He was sure he could get there if he kept at it while he was at Hogwarts, or at least put forth a good effort. With plenty of food and the right training he was certain he could achieve it as well. He and Tonks had quite the similar body type, both were slender and lithe, but she had the muscles he wanted.
It was the day of Harry's date with Jacque and Tonks had joined them once more, however this time around she wasn't focused on helping him train.
"So, are you ready for your date?" she teased.
"Tonks, you do realize that we are both blokes, right?"
"I know. There is nothing wrong with that."
"Except that it would be illegal for us to be together like that. I'm sure nothing bad would happen if people thought that I was out on a date with a guy."
"It can't be that bad."
Harry just scoffed at her naivety. Vernon hadn't taught him much but if there was one source that was reliable when it came to anything 'freakish' it was him. It was somewhat ironic that a man who vaunted normalcy would have such a vested interest in the unnatural.
"Trust me. It would be bad, not Azkaban, but I don't fancy being chased through London by the vice squad. Not that it's a date. He just wanted to show me the Cinema because I've never been to one. We already talked about this. We'll catch a late lunch then go see whatever film he has chosen and I'll be back in time for dinner."
"Alright, alright. Still you owe me for this. I could have gone out on a date, instead I am stuck babysitting you from a distance."
"I thought you had sworn off dating. Something about how all men are pigs and women are just jealous bints who can't see past their own inflated ego for long enough to actually get to know you."
"So, you do listen," Tonks smiled. "But that was just me joking. It's not as if there's only idiots out there - I just have the worst luck when it comes to picking dates."
"Of course I listen. You're my friend Tonks. Almost like a big sister. You do know that Sirius and I are going to give our permission before it gets serious with a guy."
"Bah! You're as bad as my Mum."
"Well, she is Sirius's cousin. Must be a family thing."
"How do you fit into that?"
"I'm Sirius's godson of course. That practically makes me family."
"I see. Just as long as it goes the other way."
"Hmm. I'm not sure it does," Harry laughed before running out of the room.
"Get your arse back here!"
"Nope!" Harry shouted from the stairwell. "I'm going to take a shower and get ready."
Tonks slumped down on the floor with a small smile on her face that slowly changed into a grimace. A loud groan escaped her lips.
"What's up?" Sirius asked. "I just saw Harry running up the stairs."
"It's nothing. He just ran me ragged. He's really growing fast. You've done an excellent job with him. I swear his pecs are almost as good as mine already. That stuff Mum brewed must be hella potent."
"You don't sound physically tired, Tonks." Sirius descended down on one knee and looked her in the eye. "I can tell that something is bothering you for a few days now, and it was not a workout Mad-Eye would describe as warm-up. "
"It's nothing."
"It's clearly not nothing. Look, I've missed out on most of Harry's life and in most memories I have of you, your Hogwarts letter was still years away. Let me make up for that, let Uncle Sirius help you."
"It's not fair when you play the family card, you know that? It's the one thing Mum regrets you know. Not being closer to you and the rest of the family. She still sometimes talk about how she would like to connect to Aunt Narcissa or help Bellatrix of all people. I mean, I get where she is coming from, hell I even remember her giving me a stuffed unicorn, but look at what she has done. And yet, Mum wants to help the batshit insane sadistic torturer who scares the Auror recruits worse than the bloody dementors. Think of all the Muggleborn she has on her conscience -"
"I think Bellatrix is more of an all people murdering kind of girl."
"So, not the point. She still wants to help her. Family means everything to Mum and she made me feel the same about it. So, when you play the family card I can't not tell you."
"Go on then. I won't judge."
"I - I've got something to confess," Tonks sighed deeply. Maybe something about them looking into each others' eyes and Tonks seemingly searching for something while Sirius just waited for her to figure out what she wanted to say "I - I'm Jacque."
"What?!"
"It was the only way I could meet Harry without the Order turning me away. You've got to understand that, after you asked me to, I tried to meet him as I was but Shack adamantly told me that it was against Dumbledore's orders. Then I went in a different disguise, but Shack knew what was up. So, I had to think out of the box and when I say out of the box I mean out of the box."
Tonks morphed into Jacque in front of Sirius before morphing back into Tonks.
"I didn't even know that was possible," Sirius whistled.
"It wasn't, at least not like this! I was fucking desperate because clearly something was wrong since Harry sent you that letter and they would not let me in. I had to do something, Shack saw through my usual tricks and before I knew it, something in my brain just clicked and boom Jacque happened."
"I don't see what the problem is," Sirius said hesitantly. "Harry needed a friend and frankly I am just happy that Jacque isn't someone unknown."
"But I had to invent a completely bogus backstory for him."
"Did you ever lie to him?"
"Of course, every time I talk to him. My name is not Jacque, the whole background - "
"No, I mean about the important stuff," Sirius interrupted before his niece could gather more steam. "No one cares about which school you went to once you get out of there. Did you stay you when you were with him?"
"I tried to stay as close to the truth as possible, I even told him I work in law enforcement."
"So Jacque is literally just how you would have been if you were born as a boy?"
"I suppose you could say that… Jacque is a couple of years younger, but his story is almost parallel to mine. His parents are a lawyer and a healer. I had to keep it simple to keep it straight. Our interests are the same; we both - I care about Harry and want to make him smile. I guess that would be one way to look at him. I think I'm a little more masculine than I am as Tonks but otherwise I'm me."
"Then I really don't see the problem. You know enough about Harry's life that this wouldn't even be in his top twenty of weirdest shit happening around him. He outflew a dragon for Merlin's sake. Most people don't even meet a dragon in their whole life and he got up close and personal with one on a broom. A WOODEN BROOM!"
"I still think that what I did was wrong."
"Harry doesn't do well with secrets but you don't really have a choice unless you want him to hate you."
"You're not really helping here."
"What do you want me to say?" Sirius sighed in frustration. "Look, you should have seen the way he talks about Jacque - ehm you. Fuck, this is confusing. How do you want me to handle this?"
"I think of it in terms of him and me - sometimes," Tonks explained and ran a hand through her hair, trying to find the right words. She had no idea what she was doing, nevermind how to tell someone else what she was thinking. "It's easier. Sirius I don't just morph to look like a guy. I morph into a guy with the plumbing and everything. Do you have any idea how weird it is to suddenly have a cock?"
"Not really, kind of grew up with mine."
"It's really weird, trust me. I figured out that I could do it as a teenager, but it's not something I need very often, you know," Tonks quipped and took a deep breath. "So, I should just keep this going?"
"I'd say so. Maybe if it feels like the right time you could tell him but right now he just needs a real friend no matter how he looks."
"You're right. He's had it too tough this summer for me to throw this on top of him. I need to shower. I'm meeting up with Harry soonish."
"You're doing the right thing."
Tonks walked out without saying anything. She wasn't so sure she was anymore, but then again nobody beside herself had the full story of what was really going on between her alter-ego and while Jacque revelled in it, Tonks felt ashamed of herself for allowing it to go so far. Especially since those feelings did not stop anymore when she was Tonks again.
Harry looked himself over in the full mirror in his room. He had given up on taming his hair and had instead gone for a more windswept, mussed look to it. He had chosen to wear the leather pants that Jacque seemed to love and a forest green shirt with the charcoal grey coat on top. He had dorned the ankle boots as well. They weren't as tall as the ones he had seen on Jacque and they were slimmer in the front but they looked cool if you asked Harry, and they even managed to make him a little taller. He was certain that he was going to get Jacque going.
He was interrupted in his musings by a knock on the door. He went over and pulled it open to find Sirius standing on the other side.
"Damn, pup, you are pulling out the full stops."
"I won't be able to wear this when I'm at Hogwarts," Harry said. "I like the look but I don't think my friends are ready to see me like this, and I don't want to sit through another interrogation. And these are the first clothes I ever got for myself, so I want to enjoy wearing them a few times before Hogwarts. What do you think of the boots?"
"They are a bit slimmer than I would have chosen myself but I'm completely down with your choice in style. You dress like I did your age."
"How did my father dress?"
"He was more of a shirt and slacks with leather shoes kind of guy. Everything was all prim and proper. We were both from old families, but his - yours - they were good people, so he had no reason to be as rebellious as I was. He wouldn't have been caught dead in those pants. Though I think I actually have a pair of my own somewhere if they weren't burned by my Mum when I ran away. They were made of dragon hide, so maybe they even survived being burned."
"Cool."
"I'll see if I can find them. You might be able to fit into them and dragon hide lasts forever."
"Is Tonks ready yet?"
"She should be done with her shower in a moment. Where are you meeting Jacque?"
"In front of the Leaky Cauldron. Tonks will apparate us there and then she will watch from a distance."
"Sounds like a plan," Sirius nodded. "I'm glad that you're not fighting me on this. It's really reassuring to know that she is around to watch out for you even if you can take care of yourself.
"I know. Don't worry Sirius. I asked Tonks to help me put a hood in the coat. I'm going to have it over my face until Jacque arrives and we can make it to the Muggle side so nobody should get tempted to follow me."
"That's good. Can I see?"
Harry pulled up the hood and waited for Sirius's reaction.
"Damn she even charmed it to obscure your face. That's dead useful."
"I know. She told me that nobody would be able to see my face through normal means. Of course Moody's eye would be able to see directly through it but it will take care of most things."
"You two have thought of everything. When do you think you're going to be back?"
"Jacque said the film lasted until around dinner time, so if he wants maybe we'll grab dinner at the Cauldron and then Tonks can apparate us back here."
"Alright," Sirius pulled Harry into a tight hug. "Just promise me that you'll be careful."
"My wand is strapped to my right forearm and I'll have it in my hand with a flick of my wrist. Jacque is law enforcement too. He'll be able to handle most situations."
"I know. I know. You'll come straight back after that alright? No staying out until past midnight or anything."
"Dammit Sirius, I'm fifteen not twenty-one."
"I know, I remember what I was like that age, and that's what worries me. Midnight would have been long gone before I thought about coming home."
"Okay, I'm going to head downstairs under my cloak. Tonks will open the door for us and we'll make it out without being suspicious that way. And remember, if anyone asks our argument was about how you were not my Dad and you had no right to tell me what to do."
"I got it. Jeez, pup. It's not my first Kelpie wrestling. I've been an alibi for your Dad more times than you can imagine. First rule of pranking is to always have an Alibi when shit hits the fan, and yours needs a bit of polish. Don't worry, I got this."
"I just don't want to be stopped or to answer the questions about where I've been if someone found out. Jacque is my little secret. Well, our little secret including Tonks, I suppose. I don't think the others would react well if they found out."
"Alright, pup. Get going. I'll magically seal your room. I'll tell everybody that it is silenced so you can't hear anybody from the inside as well."
"You're the best, you know that?"
"I try," Sirius ruffled his hair.
"Oi! I spent time on that."
"Just give up on it. James tried for years and even Sleekeazy's made by your Granddad was not strong enough for the Potter hair. They have been trying for centuries to tame that hair and they haven't even gotten close yet."
"I didn't know my Granddad made Sleekeazy's Hair Potion."
"Oh yeah, good old Fleamont did that. He was kind of a genius in his own rights with potions. James never had the patience for it."
"Hermione used that potion on her hair at the Yule Ball. I don't know if I should be impressed by the Potter hair or angry. I should get a proper haircut too. Maybe it will help if I cut it short in the sides so it didn't look so mop-ish?"
"Cutting your hair short for the sake of taming it is rather pointless. Sure, it can't be messy with a buzz cut, but do you really want to sport one? Besides, you're barking up the wrong tree," Sirius said. "I've had my hair shoulder length for most of my life. That's just how the Blacks do it. The males at least. I think most of the pureblood families have a tradition for long hair. You've seen the Malfoys. Hell even my cousin Narcissa has a bit of blond in it now."
"Is everybody related to everybody?"
"The Blacks are. At least for the past four generations there have been a lot of children in the family. So a lot of them married into other families. My grandfather's sister is Molly's aunt and such things. Arthur has a Black grandmother or something. There is a tapestry in the sitting room we could have a look at."
"Some other time. I really need to get going."
Harry disappeared under his Invisibility Cloak and made his way downstairs to the hallway. Tonks was dressed in a casual black t-shirt and some ripped jeans and her all too familiar boots and a slightly faded jean vest with frayed sleeve holes. Harry tapped her on the shoulder and chuckled softly when she jumped and squealed at the surprise.
"Don't do that," she hissed. "Are you ready to leave?"
"Yeah, same alley?"
"Sounds good." Tonks whispered before turning to talk to Sirius. "I'll be leaving now. Thanks for letting me stay over tonight."
"You know you're always welcome."
"Where's Harry? I want to say goodbye."
They had both noticed the ears hanging down from the upper floors.
"We had an argument."
"Again? What was it this time?"
"He felt like I was smothering him and he said some pretty hurtful things. He needed to cool off so he has been grounded in his room for the day. I have his wand and he has his books if he gets bored."
"What did he say?"
"He was snide all evening and kept running his mouth. I don't know how Lily's sister has raised him, but she clearly did a horrible job. You've seen how he has been all summer long, not one ounce of respect. And I get that he's angry, I really do, but he has to learn that there is a time and a place for everything."
"It'll be alright. You have to understand that he must feel cooped up having to stay inside here constantly."
"I know. I feel the same. I'm just happy that I've gotten some targets to practice on down in the basement. They really let me blow off some steam when it all gets a bit too much."
"You'll be alright. I'm sure Harry will apologize as soon as he has calmed down."
"I know he will. Hell, I wasn't much better than he was his age."
"You were better? Shall we ask your mother about that?" Tonks teased.
"Alright alright, get out of here."
"I will."
Harry hated the way Sirius had talked about being cooped up in the house. It had come a long way since Harry had arrived and he was sure that Dobby could fix up the rest in record time as soon as they left for Hogwarts so it didn't feel as depressing but it still cut into him that Sirius was as much a prisoner here in his own home as he had been in Azkaban. The silver lining was that he had actual people to talk to. Harry just hoped that there still would be people swinging around after he left for Hogwarts. And perhaps Sirius could sneak out under the same spells he used. They wouldn't hold up under magical scrutiny, but even going to the nearest pub would probably do him a lot of good. Lost in thought, Harry almost forgot to follow Tonks out of the door.
They had made their way down the street a little while before he broke the silence.
"How much of that do you think is the truth?"
"I don't know. He hates being in that house. He literally ran away from it when he was sixteen because it was so horrible. At least that's what Mum told me. He can't really be happy there and look at the way it looks. Even with the full force of the Weasley's it hardly looks any better. It's too soaked in Dark Magic."
"I helped him get a new house elf. He'll help set the place straight when I leave for Hogwarts. Could you do me a favour and check in on him regularly?"
"I've actually talked to Mum and Dad about it. I'm still living at their place but we talked about me moving in with Sirius after you guys left. There is enough space for the both of us and I would be more like a roommate than anything."
"I think he'd like that. Have you thought about a complete renovation of that place? Tear out all the old stuff until you are left with bare walls. Then rebuild it to be less gloomy. No more dark curtains or - "
"Not to rain on your parade, but Sirius can hardly go shopping in Diagon."
"But you two could buy stuff at a furniture shop. Pack everything into bags, shrink those and then assemble everything with magic.
"That's - You know, that's stupid enough that it could actually work. Maybe I'll ask my grandparents for help, they are muggles after all, so a furniture store shouldn't be a problem for them. But enough about furniture, we're here. You can take the cloak off now."
Harry removed the Cloak and stuffed it into an inner pocket that had been slightly enlarged. It easily fit the Cloak and Harry was happy to have it with him at all times.
"Damn you look good, Handsome. If I didn't know better I would think you had dressed up for a date."
Harry blushed and hid his face behind his collar. "It might be a date."
"Oh shit. Well Jacque is a lucky guy."
"I'm the one that's lucky. He just makes me feel things. It's hard to explain. Don't tell anyone, I don't want people to know. I get dragged through the mud a lot and I don't want him to go through that. I do not need that in my life as well. Jacque knows that and agrees with me. Though I think it is more pity than anything."
"I don't think so. I think he might just like you enough to actually care about your feelings."
"I hope so. I quite like him as well. Apparate us? I don't want to make him wait."
"We're still early."
"I know but if he's as excited about this as I am then he'll be early as well."
"Just don't get your hopes up too high. First love doesn't usually work out."
"I'm not stupid," Harry frowned. "I know it might not last, but he's worth trying my hardest for him."
"Damn you're almost making me jealous. I wished someone would have that attitude towards me."
"I'm sure there's someone out there for you."
"If I didn't know better, I would say you were flirting with me, Mr. Potter."
Harry grabbed her arm and right before she twisted, he whispered. "I've been a very very bad boy."
When they landed Harry had to wrap his arm around Tonks's waist and pull her close so she didn't fall over.
"Don't ever do that again," Tonks half-blushed, half-growled. "I could have splinched us both. Splinching, as in leaving body parts behind."
"I'm sorry," Harry looked down on the ground. "I didn't know."
"Shit. I'm sorry. I keep forgetting that you haven't been taught this stuff. I'm sorry for snapping at you."
"It's fine. I did something stupid you were right to be angry at me. Won't happen again."
Harry pulled up the hood, obscuring his face. He walked off towards the Leaky Cauldron and didn't even check to see if Tonks followed him. He looked around the bar for any sign of Jacque but couldn't see him. He supposed he was quite early.
"One butterbeer."
Tom the Barkeeper bent down behind the bar and came back up with a bottle. "That'll be three sickles."
Harry handed over the coins and absentmindedly sipped while he waited for Jacque to arrive. Tonks was probably sitting somewhere down the bar but he didn't feel like looking around for her. He felt stupid. It had just been a joke, but he hadn't known what the consequences could have been.. He should have realized that Apparition took some concentration. He needed to apologize again to her but he couldn't see her when he looked up. Instead his eyes spotted Jacque walking in through the front door. Harry waved to him even if he didn't pull his hood down.
"Nice charms work there."
"Thanks but it isn't mine. Friend of mine helped me, she thought it would be a good idea for me when I was out in public. Hope you don't mind."
"Not at all. I see you got yourself comfortable."
"Help me finish this and we can get going. Oh and one more thing. I have a babysitter slash bodyguard following us around. She won't interfere and she is cool but just if you notice something then that will likely be her."
"Is it someone I know?"
"Oh yeah, you might. She's an Auror. Tonks."
"Heard about her. Never spoken to her. We don't really work together since I'm still in training."
"I never heard where you worked."
"I'm a L.E. ."
"Excuse me?"
"Law Enforcement Patrol. I guess we are closer to policemen really."
"I'm dating a bloody copper."
"You are." Jacque smirked. "I should arrest you for being so…"
"So what?" Harry challenged. His face might be obscured but his voice carried more than enough emotion to tell Jacque that he was just teasing.
"So criminally cute."
"Alright Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power?"
"Excuse me?"
"You've never heard Tenacious D? My Cousin Dudley is a big fan. One of them is called Jack Black."
"And why is that relevant?"
"Jack Black. Jacque Noir. You never told me you were in a rock band."
"I'm not you goof. I'd probably scare you off if I began singing."
"You cannot possibly be worse than Mermish above water."
"And when would you have heard that, Handsome?"
"During the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Had to free a hostage in the middle of the Black lake. I'm seriously surprised you didn't hear all about the tournament while you were at Beauxbatons."
"I was busy with my N.E.W.T.s."
"Fair enough. Trust me Mermish does not sound good above water."
"I'll take your word for it." Jacque grabbed the bottle and finished it off. "Now we can get going."
"You look great by the way."
Jacque blushed but took the compliment in stride. "You don't look half bad yourself, Handsome."
"I know you liked this outfit. Do you think we have time for me to get a haircut? I could really use one."
"The film doesn't run for another couple of hours. Never expected to be on a date where my boyfriend decided to get a haircut."
"Sorry. That was stupid. I'm completely new to this. I ended up treating you like one of my friends."
"Hopefully not too much like your friends."
"What do you mean?"
"I plan to snog the living shit out of you as soon as we are somewhere appropriate. I hope you don't go around kissing your friends."
Harry gulped loudly and whispered hoarsely. "I don't."
"Good," Jacque purred. "Now come on Handsome let's see if someone can do something about that mop of yours."
Jacque pulled Harry out of his seat and towards the door leading to Muggle London. They made their way down a couple of blocks before Harry pulled off his hood and sent a shy but full smile towards Jacque.
"I've missed you."
Harry manages to wrap his arm around Jacque's waist in time before he falls face first onto the pavement.
"Don't spring it on a - guy like that. I thought you were going to give me a heart attack."
Harry just smiled in response and let go. He bemoaned the loss of contact but he knew he couldn't openly touch his boyfriend without people staring or even calling them out. So he restrained himself to the best of his ability even if he had managed to get a good feel of Jacque's abs. They were as glorious as last time.
"I swear I've seen a barber down this way. You don't care especially about where we end up do you?"
"Not really. I'm just happy to have a chance to spend time with you."
"You got to stop doing that, Handsome."
"Doing what?"
"Making me fall for you."
"And why would I stop that Wonderboy? Shouldn't I be trying to make you fall for me?"
Jacque looked around before he found a somewhat secluded alley and dragged Harry into it. He cast a series of spells before he pressed Harry up against the closest wall and attacked him with his lips and hands. Harry's fingers ran through Jacque's brown locks and kneaded his scalped as he lost himself in passion. He unknowingly started grinding himself against the leg that Jacque had placed between his.
Jacque's hands unbuttoned a few buttons in Harry's shirt and found burning hot skin under his finger tips. He ran his nails over Harry's even more pronounced six pack and moaned loudly into his mouth. One of Harry's hands trailed down Jacque's face to his neck to his chest before he balled a fistful of t-shirt into it and pulled him closer. The other hand fell from Jacque's hair as well and wrapped Jacque around his waist before resting just short of Jacque's arse.
"Fuck. You get me all worked up." Jacque whispered into Harry's ear after they broke apart. "You have no idea what you are doing to me and you keep doing it over and over and over and… over again."
"You're so fucking beautiful."
"And there you are again. How am I supposed to respond when you are literally just a dream guy falling into my lap. I want to ruin you, corrupt you and keep you for myself."
"Then do it."
"You know we can't. Doesn't mean I don't want to? Oh Morgana I want to. If you were sixteen…"
"Remember the law?"
"Fuck the law, I want to see what that vice squad can do against a wit-zard."
"Then why wait."
"Because sixteen is the youngest I am comfortable with. You don't yet realize the full ramifications of what that would do to you, to us. Next year if you still want me by then… until then kissing and snogging and some heavy petting will have to do."
"Okay. I'll trust you to know what is best."
"And there you go and do it again. Do you know how frustrating it is for me when you are one of the few people who didn't immediately try to do something to me whether or not I was okay with it? You treat me like I'm a real person with emotions and wants and thoughts. There aren't a lot of people outside of my family who actually respect my boundaries."
"You respect mine."
In Harry's mind that was all that needed to be said so he just leaned forward and pulled Jacque into another kiss. This one shorter, less heated, more in control but no less emotional."
"How can that be only your fifth kiss? You are literally sending shivers down my spine with those lips, Handsome. It's cheating."
"Come on," Harry chuckled. "Let's move or we won't ever manage to leave this alleyway."
Jacque audibly growled but waved his wand to clear the opening once more. Harry grabbed his hand and squeezed it before walking down the street once more. He found the swirling sign of a barber and checked his appearance over in a shop window before walking in. He had a sneaking suspicion that Jacque was doing the same thing behind him.
"What can a do for ya?"
"I need a haircut. Something shorter in the side and longer on the top."
"Ye looking for a mullet?"
"Oh god no," Jacque exclaimed.
"No no. It's more of a front thing. "I've got this scar on my forehead and I'd like to have the options to hide it in a tasteful way."
Harry pulled up his fringe.
"Aye that looks almost angry. I see yer point lad. Sit in the chair, this shouldn't take long."
Harry sat down in the chair and felt the barber take a come to his hair.
"This might just be tha most resistant hair I've 'ad to work with in a while."
"Family curse I'm afraid. Granddad made hair products to no avail."
"No worries lad. I'll sort ya right out. If ya don't mind me asking how did ya manage to get that scar?"
"It's stupid really."
"Barber's code. We don't tell others."
"I fell on a jagged piece of glass. Cut my face right up. Never really healed properly."
"I can see that. Don't ya worry. I've learned that chicks dig scars."
"Is that true Jacque?" Harry asked innocently.
"Mmh - what? Oh.. yeah, I had a friend who had to beat off the birds with a stick after he got into a bad fight."
"Good to know," Harry chuckled. "Got a few more, maybe they'll dig those as well."
"Must be some good stories behind those."
"I had a run in with a big snake. It bit me in my right arm. Still got the scar from where the fang entered. Thankfully I got an antidote in time or maybe I wouldn't be here."
"Sounds wild."
"It was. Had to save a friend's sister though she had gotten a bit too close. So, I kind of just jumped in to pull her away. Got bitten for my troubles. We managed to get rid of the snake but I don't fancy going for another round."
"Don' blame ya. Sounds terrifying."
They continued to trade idle banter until the Barber stopped cutting. Harry hadn't had a good Haircut in forever and the result really showed. He looked a lot better now than he had before.
"What do you think, Jacque?"
"It looks… good. Very handsome, you might not need more scars for birds to fancy you now."
"Thanks. How much do I owe you?"
"A fiver. You dropped in when there wasn't much traffic and I like ya."
Harry handed over a five pound note and said goodbye. Harry enjoyed the glances Jacque kept sending to his new haircut.
"I'm glad you like it."
"I didn't say anything," Jacque huffed.
"You are literally undressing me with your eyes. It feels good to know that you find me attractive. How far until the Cinema?"
"Not long. We're good on time as well."
"What are we watching?"
"Die Hard with a Vengeance," Jacque said.
"Isn't that the third movie in the series? My cousin gloated to me about seeing the other two."
"So? It's still one of the greatest series ever made. Please tell me you've seen the others."
"I'm afraid not."
"I'm so going to show you the first two after this. The way John McClain fights to save everyone in the Nagasaki Tower. It's pure adrenalin on the screen. You'll love it."
"If you say so."
"I do say so! Trust me. You won't be able to take your eyes off the screen."
"Depends."
"On what?"
"On how distracting your beautiful face is."
"Oh shut it," Jacque said lamely, his cheeks now rosey. "You're just saying that."
"Cross my heart I mean it."
"I don't believe you. We there's still more than an hour until it starts. Do you want to grab something to eat first?"
"Sure, I can eat."
"Great. I'm starving. Spent the morning working out and I hadn't managed to eat yet."
"Let's find a place near the cinema and go there. What do you feel like eating?"
"Isn't that supposed to be my question? You can decide."
"I've got no clue what's good. Surprise me."
"Feels like I'm doing all the work in this relationship. I pick the film and I pick the place to eat. I even have to initiate the kissing."
"That's so not true."
"Okay maybe not the last part," Jacque teased. "God I want to snog you silly. I want to run my fingers over your body and rip that shirt off your chest so I can have my wicked way with you."
Harry just smiled indulgently at him. Sometimes Jacque just couldn't be described with any other word but cute. It was like he was an excitable little animal that was foraging for food. In this case Harry was the food and Jacque was constantly being denied it. Or denying it himself.
Harry grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers, running circles on the back of Jacque's hand with his thumb.
"What happened to doing nothing in public?"
Harry released his hand after giving it one more squeeze. "You're right. It's not a good idea. I heard that Cinemas were dark though. So I'll be getting my fill there. You - you aren't the only one having a hard time holding back, you know?"
Harry kept looking around and taking in the sights, much to Jacque's endearment and amusement. Harry couldn't help himself, he had never been allowed to just walk around and have a look. The Dursleys had never taken him anywhere, well except for that one time at the Zoo where Harry had vanished the glass to a rather big boa constrictor. He chuckled slightly to himself.
"What are you laughing at?"
"Oh it's nothing. Just remembered the last time I was out like this."
"When was that?"
"Dudley's eleventh birthday. You wouldn't even believe what happened."
"Try me."
"... and then it just slithered out on the floor hissing thanksss Amigo."
"Ehm… going to need a bit of translation on that one," Jacque teased.
"Right, sorry. I haven't gotten all that good of a grasp on it. Don't usually go around talking to snakes. Haven't really had any practice. I think the number of snakes I've spoken to can be counted on one hand, and one wanted me as her lunch. The one in the zoo said thanks amigo."
"Not that I'm complaining but why haven't you used it more?"
"It reminds people of Voldemort."
"I really hate it when you say that name."
"I'll try my best not to, Wonderboy. But I guess it's because it's considered dark - "
"It's not dark, it's how he found his enemies. Only Dumbledore and his allies dared to say his name, so he created a spell which allowed him to track down anyone who spoke it. No one has figured out how that spell worked, not even a decade after his fall. Which is also the reason why he was so feared, it does not take a lot of dark magic to kill someone, but the spells he used were not from this world. I've seen pictures during my training which were worse than any horror movie."
"Most people do freak out when I say it."
"I guess I can understand that. The adults probably remember what happened to those who said that name, and they told their children to avoid it at any cost," Jacque explained before a mischievous smile appeared on his face. "Though I have a good idea on how you could put that particular skill to good use."
"What do you - but - Fuck… Jacque. Are you deliberately trying to drive me insane?"
"Maybe."
Harry watched as Jacque skipped forward down the sidewalk leaving him to shake his head clear of the thoughts he had put into it. He had never thought of using his ability for that before nor had he even thought about that possibility before either, and now it was the only thing on his mind. Harry loved the way Jacque could turn anything bad in his life into something good. Maybe he should find a snake to talk to so he got some more practice. Preferably one that wouldn't try to kill him.
Jacque had stopped in front of a curry shop and gestured with his arms like he was saying how about this place?
"I'm good with whatever," Harry nodded. "I'm up for trying new things. I'm surprised you would choose this place though. From what I know about french people, admittedly that isn't a lot but they didn't seem to like food with heavy flavours."
"Where did you hear that?"
"Fleur Delacour. You must know about her. I don't believe there was anyone at Beauxbatons who didn't know about her."
"Oh I know about her. You two close?"
Harry gently caressed his cheek. "I suppose but not in that way. Fleur and I have a bit of history. Our first meeting she called me a leetle boy and was downright nasty. It wasn't until after the second task when I saved her little sister that we began talking. By the end of the year we were friends but not really all that close. There is no reason to be jealous of her."
"But her allure?"
"Doesn't really work that way on me. It's like something in the back of my mind drawing my gaze but I can easily ignore it. It's like a lust induced imperius curse."
"And how would you know how that feels?"
"Oh, I'm three for three with the Unforgivables," Harry shrugged nonchalantly. "He has gotten the full three in our dealing with each other. The Imperius doesn't really work on me anymore. I even managed to throw off Voldemort's."
"Wow… Is it wrong of me to find that a little hot?"
Harry laughed. "Probably but I'll take what I can get."
"We need to eat quickly so I can get you into a dark room. You're killing me here."
Harry watched in fascination as Jacque showed their tickets to the person working in the Cinema. It was a magnificent building with large red carpets and opulent columns. It was simultaneously suffocating and inviting.
"We need to get popcorn!" Jacque said suddenly. "Sorry about that."
"Don't worry about it. The film won't start for ten more minutes. We just open up the room a little early for people to take their seats."
Jacque rushed towards the little shop and returned with two plastic cups and a large bag off popcorn.
"Never had those before," Harry muttered absentmindedly.
The look of horror on Jacque's face could only be described as cute by Harry. He unconsciously began to chuckle which turned into a full belly laughter making Jacque pout.
"It's not funny. How can you not have had Popcorn before?"
"My relatives seldomly let me have anything nice, and my boarding school experience didn't really serve popcorn. Did they have them at yours?"
"No. But Popcorn?!"
"Well you are treating me now aren't you? No harm done."
"I'm going to show you all of the great things, Handsome. I swear to you that I will rock your world."
Harry leaned in close and whispered. "You do that every second I spend with you already."
Harry pulled back with a half smirk on his lips. He grabbed one of the plastic cups from Jacque's hands and walked into the theater while Jacque opened and closed his mouth, a blush firmly set on his face.
"I swear I'll get you back for that."
"Oh I'm counting on it. Now where are our seats?"
"Up in the back. That corner. You take the innermost seat and I'll sit down on the outside."
"Why aren't we more in the middle? Dudley always said those were the best seats."
"With what I have planned I think you would prefer it if we were out of the way."
"Jacque…" Harry groaned when he felt a hand squeeze his arse.
"Shush - sit down already. My arm feels like it's falling off here."
Harry sat down and reached out for the popcorn and placed it in his lap. He had already figured out that the seats came with a cupholder. That had been convenient. He was a little surprised to see Jacque pull out his wand and wave it around their seats.
"What was that for?"
"Just to make us a little less noticeable."
"And why would we need that?"
"You'll know," Jacque purred.
Harry felt a shiver run down his spine and the roots of his hair tingling at the way Jacque said those words. He had decided to keep the container of popcorn firmly planted in his lap if what Jacque seemed to promise would come to pass.
"So should I know anything about proper film going etiquette?"
"Just keep quiet as best as you can… oh and don't spill, throw or pour the popcorn anywhere but your mouth. Can you do that?"
"Stop treating me like a child, Jacque."
"I'm not, you would be surprised what some people do in here."
"Then what are you doing?" Harry lifted an eyebrow.
"I'm promising you that I won't make it easy for you to just sit there."
Harry gulped loudly enough for Jacque to hear earning him an almost girlish giggle and a squeeze just above his knee making him jerk in his seat.
"Oh. I am going to have so much fun," Jacque licked his lips.
"Nobody is going to notice us?"
"They shouldn't. Of course we aren't silenced so if you beco -"
Harry wrapped his hand possessively around Jacque's neck and pulled him into a searing kiss that sent sparks through his brain. His tongue felt the softness of Jacque's lips before they parted and allowed him entrance to his mouth. Harry wrapped and caressed his tongue softly around Jacque's. He held him there until Jacque started to whimper and rub his legs together. His hands trailing up Harry's leg. Harry pulled back chuckling when he heard the annoyed huff at the popcorn's placement.
"Fuck… you…"
"You know you like me. Remember you aren't the only one who can play those games."
"Fine. I'll try to behave. You're no fun at all."
"That's just not true, in fact I think the problem is that I'm a little too much fun."
"Don't let it all go to your head. I would hate for it to explode because of your overinflated ego."
There was no heat in his voice indicating that it was all in good fun, even if those words could have come from Snape.
"But seriously. My pants are way too tight for me to handle what you are doing to me."
"It's not like I don't have the same exact problem. I probably shouldn't have worn leather when I'm around you."
"Is little Handsome getting squashed by the big bad leather pants?" Jacque teased in a singsong voice. "Such a shame that little Jackie here can't help you with that without making a mess."
"Stop, please… god how am I even supposed to think when you say stuff like that?"
Jacque never managed to give a reply before the lights dimmed even further and sank the theater into darkness. Music came from the walls and Harry's attention was turned from his incredibly delicious boyfriend to the screen. Harry reached for Jacque's hand and intertwined their fingers idly rubbing circles around the back of his hand.
Harry enjoyed the way Jacque would squeeze back at times. His hand felt solid and the callouses on it spoke of hard work and dedication. Harry kept imagining having them run ragged over everything on his body.
He almost whined when he felt Jacque pull his hand away.
"Sorry Handsome, it's getting a little too hot for me, and I also need it to reach for some popcorn. But you are free to rest it on my thigh. Just… just keep it somewhere safe."
"I can do that."
"Thanks. It's not that I don't want you to touch me or touch you myself it's just. It got a little warm and clammy."
"It's alright really," Harry said, showing it by squeezing Jacque's thigh with his left hand. "I enjoy it just as much here."
"Good." Jacque breathed heavily.
Tonks had a hard time keeping up her morph at the moment. She hadn't really felt all too warm it was just - Being around Harry and the way his hands felt on her body. She had already morphed back into her and she knew Harry would notice it if they were holding hands. She might be able to pass it off if it was just her thigh and that he didn't find out about the lack of a certain something between her thigh. She was desperately trying to morph back into Jacque, but right now her body was screaming for her to be Tonks and nothing she did changed that. She at least could keep her chest from expanding to a noticeable degree.
She leaned a little closer and whispered throatily right next to his ear. "I've removed all of the charms." She hoped that he wouldn't notice the change to her voice. She pinched his leg hard making him spill popcorn all over. "Keep those eyes steady forward. Don't even look at me unless you want people to notice."
She had to force down a girlish giggle that would have given her away completely. At first, Harry looked confused, but his eyes widened as soon as he felt her hand on his thigh. And she didn't stop there either. Tonks ran one finger down his inner thigh, her thumb stroked his hip bone. She began to trace patterns across his leg, the thin leather of his pants the only thing between her and his skin.
"Remember, you must not give away what I'm doing."
The fact that Harry could turn to her and see her in Jacque's place should have terrified her and it did, but it also got her excited. Like her mind subconsciously wanted him to know that she and Jacque were the same. She couldn't keep herself from running her own hand up and down Harry's leg. Soft touches that she hoped he wouldn't notice didn't belong to Jacque.
It was tempting to stop the teasing, to throw up the charms and reach down his pants, to rock his world and ruin him for anyone else. To pin him to his chair and -
While her mind was ripe with wholly inappropriate thoughts, Tonks forced herself to focus on the one thing she could do. And unfortunately for Harry, she had learned a few tricks since the Astronomy classes in her NEWT year.
Would it be considered cheating if Harry found out about her real-self? She had already tried to keep the two morphs separate but something in the female side of her screamed out to grab and possess Harry just as much as her male side did and she didn't even know what to do about those feelings. The fact was that both Jacque and Tonks were falling for a fifteen year old boy and they were falling hard.
And while she was tormented by her conscience, Harry too was suffering. Although unlike her, he had to endure the sweetest agony. His leather pants only made the soft touches worse, yet they always stopped an inch from where he wanted - needed them.
With supreme effort, Tonks managed to morph back into Jacque before the lights came back on and breathed out a sigh of relief.
"I'm sold," Harry panted and put the empty popcorn bucket on his lap. There was sweat perling on his forehead and his cheeks were flushed red.
"What?"
"I'm sold. I want to watch the first two films. That was great! And the other thing - I don't know if I should eviscerate you with a rusty spoon or snog you senseless."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Handsome. I certainly did too."
Harry gulped and turned his head away blushing. "What about you? Did you like it as much as the first two."
"I'm a Die Hard G-Guy. I'm always down for a bit of McCain. It was wicked!"
"I want to do that all over again."
"Calm down, you over energetic puppy."
Harry sent him a suspicious glance but shook his head.
"Do you want to grab something to eat?" Harry asked. "I want to talk about the film some more."
"You got somewhere in mind?"
"Leaky Cauldron. Remember my bodyguard better known as my babysitter? I promised her that she could get a drink while we ate dinner. She's doing this on her day off to keep me safe. I owe her for doing that. Do you want to help me pick out something nice for her as a thank you?"
"Who is she to you and should I get jealous?"
"I love it when you get all possessive, but no you don't have to get jealous. Tonks is family. I don't think of her that way."
"I'm teasing, not possessive. Trust me you will notice when I'm being possessive," Jacque promised and Harry could only swallow. "It's still early enough and I'm not really hungry yet. Let's get this over with before dinner."
"We don't have to do it if you don't want to. I'm sorry for bringing it up."
"No, no, it's not that. I'm sorry I don't know what came over me. In fact I'm glad you told me that you wanted to do it. This way I get a chance to pick something that is appropriate for a friend."
Harry ran a caressing hand through Jacque's hair.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you."
"I'm not so sure myself if I'm being honest," Jacque ran a hand across Harry's stomach. "But those pecs definitely helped in your favour."
"Those are from the potions, and speaking of that, I could cut potion ingredients on yours."
"Sounds like someone enjoys them," Jacque purred.
"I more than enjoy them. I would worship them if I could and you know that."
"And you're right to…"
Harry reached down and ran his hand under Jacque's t-shirt. His fingers strumming the muscles in a rhythm only Harry seemed to understand or follow.
"Stop… I can't…"
"Alright. I'll stop. Can you apparate us to Diagon Alley?"
Jacque pulled Harry into an alleyway and wrapped his arms around him pulling him close. A quick kiss and a twist later they landed in the apparition point next to Gringotts.
"Put up your hood. As much as I enjoy looking at your face at all times. It's probably for the best that you aren't spotted in the open here."
Harry pulled up his hood, obscuring his face. "Do you have any idea where we could go get her a present?"
"Hmm… not really. We could just stroll up the alley and see if we spot something we think would be suitable."
"If you find something you'd like just tell me, okay?"
"Harry. I couldn't…"
"Jacque. I have more than enough money to buy you something. I want to buy you something."
Harry looked around and saw a shop window featuring what looked like leather bracelets and other stuff. He saw the flicker of want from Jacque out of the corner of his eyes. He reached for the handle on the door.
"I don't think you'll find something in there for your friend."
"I was thinking of finding something for you instead. I saw the way you looked at some of it. I think one of those would look great on you and I must admit that I like the thought of having a more permanent marker on you."
Jacque groaned, but reached out to stop him. He couldn't accept something like this. It looked expensive and he really wasn't worthy of something like that. Not considering…
Harry, however, just ducked under the outstretched hand and walked in.
"Hello sir. What can I do for you today?"
Harry purposely distorted his voice, a deep rasping voice leaving his lips. "What do you fancy wonderboy?"
The clerk lifted an eyebrow at them, but decided not to say anything. He had seen more than his fair share of clandestine… affairs. It did explain why one of them had his face obscured. He was probably a public figure trapped in a marriage and the boy next to him was his lover.
"You really shouldn't…"
"I want to treat you to something nice. Something to remember me by. What speaks to you."
Jacque moved around the displays and his eyes were drawn to a leather band interweaved with obsidians and dark amethysts. He couldn't keep his eyes off it. It was long enough that it would have to be wrapped around his wrist a couple of times.
"That one, huh? It would look good on you and not too gaudy. It's nice. How much for that one?"
"The stones are somewhat on the cheaper side. The leatherwork hides the flaws in them. That's why they weren't used for rings or metal bands. We have more expensive options."
"No, this is already too much…" Jacque panicked.
"How much?"
"Sixty Galleons."
Harry handed over the coins from his bag and received the band in return. Harry walked over to Jacque. "Give me your arm."
"It's too much." Jacque couldn't see Harry's face because of the hood but he could feel the smugness oozing out of him.
"Your arm. Please. I want you to have it."
Jacque extended his left arm and Harry gently wrapped the leather band around three times before securing the clasp. "Do you like it?"
"It's beautiful. I'll always wear it."
"Good. Is there something in here that would be appropriate for a friend or should we find some other place?"
Jacque looked around and spotted some chokers. "How would you describe your friend?"
"She's got somewhat the same style as you. A bit punkish in style. Heck of a personality on her. Feisty. Good fun."
"Do you think she would be offended if you gave her one of those?" I wouldn't be. Fuck I want you to mark me as yours. "They're quite stylish."
"You don't think it would send the wrong signal?"
"Maybe... " Fuck yeah it would send the wrong signal. You don't even understand how much I want you to send me that signal.
"Which one would you pick?"
Jacque ran her hand over the different designs and tapped one. No no no no. Focus. He sighed in relief when the hand morphed back into it's male form. It had a small pink stone in a fitting that would sit right at the front of a person's throat. Her throat.
"This one. It's not too much."
"So it wouldn't be amiss for a birthday present?"
"No, that would be fine."
"Good. Can I get that one wrapped up in a box or something?"
"That will be thirty Galleons, sir."
Harry handed over the money and took the box. "I still think we need another thank you gift for her today. Something simpler. Women like chocolate, don't they?"
"They do. Chocolate is always a safe choice."
"Then let's go grab some chocolate and then we can grab dinner."
"Sounds like a plan."
They had gotten themselves a private room at the Leaky and before they even touched the food Jacque had placed himself in Harry's lap running his hands through his dark locks pulling him into a kiss.
"I've been wanting to do that since we left the Cinema," Jacque breathed heavily. "You have no idea how hard it was to keep my hands off of you."
Harry just smiled at him and wrapped his arms even tighter around his waist. His hands found their way to Jacque's rear gently rubbing and squeezing the muscles underneath the tight jeans.
"You're driving me crazy," Jacque moaned softly in his ear.
"I can feel that."
"I can feel something poking me," Jacque grinded his hips.
"If you don't get off…"
"What if I don't get off?"
"Jacque… love…"
Jacque scrambled backwards away from Harry and looked at him with fear in his eyes. "Don't…"
"Don't what?"
"Don't say stuff like that… god dammit Harry. Don't say that word. Not yet… I'm sorry I can't…"
Jacque grabbed his discarded vest and ran out the door leaving Harry alone and confused in the room. He didn't even know what it was he had said. He kept running the conversation through his head, but he honestly couldn't figure out what he had done wrong.
He groaned loudly before pounding the table. He looked at the food but didn't feel like eating. His appetite gone with Jacque's departure.
He pulled his coat back on and obscured his face with the hood. He sat down in the back but didn't do anything to get Tom the Barkeeper's attention. He felt a hand on his shoulder and spotted the pink hair.
"You're early," Tonks said with a shaky voice. "Everything go alright?"
"Just peachy. Can we just go? I don't want to talk about it. Got some stuff to think about."
"Something Jacque said?"
"Something like that. Just get us out of here."
Harry rose from the chair and walked out of the Leaky Cauldron to the same alleyway, he had arrived in earlier that day. So many things had changed since that time. He couldn't understand what had gone wrong. It was eating at him.
"Hey Tonks… I don't know what went wrong. Everything was going great."
"Tell me what happened?"
"We were up in a private room. Jacque was sitting in my lap. We were…"
"Kissing? Snogging? Ripping each other's clothes off?"
"Snogging… not the point. Things got heated and I said something but I can't for the life of me figure out what. He was right there in my lap. He did something and I…"
Harry was far gone inside his thoughts. He didn't even look up to see the conflicted almost panicked look on her face.
"Oh fuck…"
"What?"
"I called him 'Love'. I didn't mean it that way… Fuck. No wonder he freaked out. I must have sounded so young and naive. I knew he was hesitant about my age."
"So, you weren't about to tell him you loved him?"
Harry ran a hand through his hair, knocking his hood down with it. Tonks gasped at the despairing look on his face.
"Of course I wasn't. I wouldn't even know how love felt if it hit me repeatedly in the face. Tonks, I'm broken. Nobody has ever loved me so how would I have a clue what love is. Nobody has shown me what love looks like, and now my best chance at finding out ran out because he was reminded that I was just a leetle boy. Fuck it. I'm done. I just want to go back and sleep."
Tonks nodded mutely and grabbed Harry's arm. He didn't even react when they landed and threw his Invisibility Cloak over his head without even looking at her. She heard his footsteps moving quickly down the street. She ran to catch up and only just managed to see the door to Grimmauld Place open and close behind an invisible Harry.
Tonks followed him in and ran up the stairs. She had to come clean. The band around her wrist felt like it was burning into her skin. She had fucked up and it was for the exact reason Harry had pointed out. She had panicked and really seen his age when she had thought he was about to tell him, her.
She had just reached their floor when she ran into Sirius.
"He doesn't want to see anybody, what happened?"
"I messed up. I did something stupid. I just want to fix it."
"Are you going to tell me what it was?"
"No."
"How are you planning to 'fix' it?"
"I'm going to tell him everything. He deserves to know. No more secrets. I can't do that to him. There are enough secrets being kept from him I'm not going to add onto those."
Sirius pulled her into a hug. "Listen to me. You are not thinking clearly. You need to calm down and think about whether this is the best decision for both of you."
"It is. I know it is. Why would there be any reason to keep something like this a secret?"
"Even if the cost of telling him is him hating you, hating me, hating everybody. Even if it will mean breaking his heart?"
"You don't know that is what would happen. My Harry is stronger than that. He'll understand. He'll understand why I didn't tell him sooner."
Sirius held her at arm's length and looked her straight in the eyes. His grey meeting her green. He breathed in deeply, thinking about what he should say, what he could say to make her think it over before she stormed off half-cocked like he once had.
"What happened?"
"I thought he was going to tell me... It was going well and he didn't know what he was saying… we both said things we shouldn't have… and I - I freaked out and ran, but he wasn't going to do that..."
"Breathe - You both need to cool your head. Did either of you say something insulting?"
"No!"
"Then you will be fine. Go home Tonks. If you spring this on him now, it won't be good for anybody. You care more about him than you are willing to admit to yourself. He cares about you too. Maybe in different ways depending on what form you are at the moment, but he still cares about you. He needs a Godfather right now. Wait for him to write before you do anything. Promise me."
"I promise."