Chapter 7- The Resident
Just some fun continuation of the last chapter, nothing too dramatic and crazy. Let's get into this.
Moving day, a day that Will swore was a fantastic, huge day for Jay. Apparently it was a sign that Jay was improving, healed enough to no longer need the intricate oversight of the ICU, but Jay wasn't exactly thrilled to be moving. The very word scared him. Moving meant, well, moving things. Moving meant using energy to do things other then trying to stay awake, breathing, and sleeping. He would never picture himself as a lazy, constantly tired person, but ever since waking up on the other side of surgery that was all he could muster. He was tired, drained, exhausted all the time. Will said this was the surgery, that his 'engine' had been stopped and tweaked quite a bit, so lag and low energy was common at this point. But Jay never expected it to be this much. Part of him figured this was making up for the years of poor sleep, the rest of him not caring in the least. He had no desire to move, get out of his bed to get transported to another bed. When Will mentioned Jay would have to sit up on his own today and maybe take a couple steps, the dread that was being pent up. Jay knew he was going to hate it, the thought of the pain levels making him in that much more agony. Long story shot, he was not looking forward to this move, but knew it had to be done. Wherever he was going was going to be his final stop before freedom, home, real life. So while he detested the idea of it all, he was eager to get to that final place before heading to the next resting point.
"Okay, ready for this?" Jay looked away from his daydreaming about the misery of moving day, a little lost on what Will was referring to. There was no way the move was happening first thing in the morning. He'd been in the hospital long enough to know that nothing moved fast unless you were dying.
"Ready for what?"
"Jay, we talked about this." It was in the greeting of Rhodes and a couple nurses and all their medical devices and blankets that it hit him. Today was the first dressing change. Because the day just need one more unpleasant thing. Will got up from his seat on the couch and stood by the bed, watching as everyone filed in. All greeted their morning remarks, asking the usual about sleep, pain, and any other side effects before diving into what was going to happen.
"I'm going to go as slow and careful as I can but I have to warn that this will hurt. We're just removing the dressings, looking around, and then putting new stuff on. It won't take that long." Jay nodded as the hospital gown was pulled down to his waist, the medical prep pad being laid over the pulled down gown. Will offered to hold Jay's hand through the whole thing, Jay fighting it off till the first tug on the tape and gauze. Rhodes was most definitely right, this was rather painful. He was using tweezers and gloved hands to slowly pull things down, to Jay it felt like skin was being removed. The tugging was like peeling after a horrible sunburn, burning, blistering feeling with fresh air singeing the cut skin. Jay began looking down at the site of all his problems, but the first sight of sutures, steri strips, and bloody skin he looked straight up.
"You can look, it's fine," Will spoke, Jay just shaking his head as the torture moved along.
"Not right now. I don't need to freak out." Will gripped Jay's hand tighter, understanding where his brother was coming from. It was a lot, a big thing, quite literally, and it was going to take time to fully wrap his head around all that happened. The two of them were quiet till the tape and gauze were no more, gingerly placed on the prep pad as Rhodes really peered over things.
"Are you okay with me looking," Will asked? Jay nodded, still not looking down at himself. With Jay's hand still in his, Will inched a little further down the bed to get a good look at things. He swallowed the vomit and anxiety over how big and prominent the scar. It was a ten inch straight line, starting right at the top of the breastbone and stopping somewhere close to the belly button. Under the dozens and dozens of sterile strips was a black, dark red, bruised line of stitches, that one throwing Will in questioning.
"Why not staples?"
"It makes a bigger scar and I didn't want him going through the trauma of getting that many staples removed. The downside of this is that he really can't use his arms for awhile, but in the long run this is the better option." Will nodded, now moving away from the scar and to all that was around it. The two drainage tubes were still in place, still painted with draining fluids and lingering blood, driving home just how messy and drastic open heart surgery is. They were a full two days post-surgery and Jay was still filling up drainage containers. It was right then that Jay tensed up, wincing at how much everything hurt while death gripping Will's hand. The pacing wires were going off, doing their best to regulate the heart rate.
"Let us know when it's done," Rhodes spoke as all hands went off Jay's torso. A minute later Jay loosened the hold just a bit, nodding that things were okay to proceed.
"When do things start to come out?"
"It'll be on the cardiac ward. He still draining too much for those to come out and clearly, he still needs the wires. Incision looks great though. When you get closer to discharge we'll show you how to keep things clean and dry and change out the dressings. But so far no sign of any breakage or infection."
"Okay, that's something," Jay said as the new gauze strip was getting lined with tape.
"Yeah, you don't want things to get messed up. On top of it hurting like none other, you could be looking at another surgery just to realign things."
"Got it, no moving arms." Rhodes nodded, chuckling as he laid the pad on top of the incision.
"Pretty much for the next several weeks. Thus the reason we require you have help for awhile."
"Do we have a time on when we go to the next room?"
"We're working on that now. Paperwork and just getting things to work quickly is just never going to happen. We'll let you know when we're close. Since you just had this changed I'm going to let you rest for a bit before we try sitting up, but in the next couple hours we need you to do that. Even if it's for a minute, we need to get you moving. I know it's going to hurt but you'll thank me later." As much as Jay wanted to stay in his semi-laying down position forever, he knew he was going to have to do this at some point. He had to get home and sitting, standing, walking, was key in getting out of here and to there. Pain sucked, but staying a hospital resident forever sucked way more. Rhodes promised to come back when it was time for Jay to sit up, leaving the two of them to do their usual thing of talking for a few minutes before Jay passed out.
"That wasn't too bad."
"No, how do I sit up with not really being dressed? I'm not comfortable with just exposing everything."
"Yeah, I figured. Right before we move you I'll grab a blanket and throw it over you. That works?" Jay nodded.
"When does this central line come out? The pulling is killing my next, feels like the skin about to rip apart."
"Jay, why didn't you say this sooner," Will said as he got up to assess what Jay was reporting. Sure enough, he could see where things were drooping way more then they should have been, the tape and weight of the IV and port pulling things down to dangerous, painful angles.
"Here, let's try this." Will used a small pillow to prop the IV line to the same height as the port, bringing everything back to it's place and taking the pressure off his skin.
"Better?"
"Yeah," Jay yawned.
"When is this awful pain going to let up."
"Jay, you're still super early in the recovery. It'll come, just be patient. Don't forget the button." Jay felt around the side till the button revealed itself in a ball of blankets. The two clicks were quick and in no time he was zoning out once again.
"Is it okay if I sleep for a little bit?"
"Of course. You run this show right now." Jay could only nod again, eyes drooping fast and everything going limp in no time. Will could only chuckle, continue to be amazed at how out of it and tired Jay was. This was such a weird side of Jay to witness, but one that he was quite willing to welcome.
…
"This is so weird seeing him sleep this much," Hailey greeted the room with in a whisper. Will had his back turned to the door, putting the finishing touches on his bag packing. She knocked on the door and all he could do was wave her in, not really caring who it was and also trying to keep Jay asleep.
"I know, just goes to show how much rest is required after surgery."
"Yeah, no kidding. One of these visits I'll actually be able to see him and talk to him."
"Oh yeah, one day," Will chuckled. It was so true. So far all of Hailey's visits were during one of Jay's many sound asleep moments. This many days out from surgery he was still averaging more hours of asleep then awake. Everyone swore that that would change soon, but in the moment Will was convinced Jay would be a sleeping, barely moving person for the rest of the year.
"When is he being transferred?"
"In a few minutes actually! They just came, like right before you did, to say that his room was set up and ready to go. I think they're getting his paperwork and a gurney right now."
"Well that's exciting. Do you need help with anything?"
"Want to take another bag again?" Hailey nodded.
"I'd love to." She tiptoed her way further into the room, leaning down to pick up Jay's bag and drag it closer to her.
"You're sure you want that one."
"Yeah, I'll manage." Easier said then done, doing her best to lift it and toss it over her shoulders. Honestly she was wondering what was left in his closet.
"When do you wake him up?"
"I'll wait till they come back. He's going to have to sit up and take a couple steps so he's going to need all the rest he can get."
"Well that's exciting, right?" Will nodded.
"Yeah, this will be fun, and pretty eye opening as to how limited and setback he is."
"True, but he'll get it done. Let's not forget this is Jay we're talking about." Will was about to acknowledge that, nodding his head with mouth about to open as a shrill, speedy rap on the door told what was going to come next.
"Ready?"
"I am, he's still out," Will replied while motioning to Jay and his very sound asleep state.
"That's okay. We're ready when he is, but I will say the sooner we get him down there the sooner he can go back to resting." They were so very right about that. As much as Will wanted to let Jay sleep the morning hours away, they had to move Jay and he had to slowly move for a bit before going back to resting. Adjusting his backpack on his shoulders, Will made it to Jay's right side of the bed and took his hand into his own.
"Jay…Jay…come on Jay you've got to wake up," he spoke while squeezing the hand multiple times. Hailey found herself holding her breath, a nervous excitement to finally get to see and talk to Jay since the surgery. Will called his brother and squeezed the hand several more times before the faintest grunt and whine trickled out of the exhausted body. Will called a final time before the eyelids fluttered a couple seconds and then, slowly but surely, blinked themselves awake.
"Hey man, sorry but we're ready for our little trip downstairs." Jay was too busy looking around the room to reply to Will, trying to connect pieces from the last time he was awake till now. He saw the people outside the room, talking to themselves across the way from a bed. He noted that Will's bed was totally cleaned up and bags mysteriously gone. The last thing he caught eye of was the second person in the room with Will. Another couple blinks to clear his vision and he saw her with his bag on her shoulders.
"Hey," Jay groggily threw her way. She ate it up and was ever delighted.
"Hey! Greetings from the other side. How are you feeling?"
"Tired, sore, just…yeah." She loved it, even if it wasn't totally him. It was his voice and his best attempt at humor, it was way more then enough for right now.
"Okay, we need to sit you up and then get you from here to the gurney. I know it's a lot for right now but I know you can do it." Jay did another connection from himself to the awaiting bed before going back again. The very thought of sitting up scared him a little, just imagining the pain that would evoke. But he had to do it, he couldn't live in this room for the rest of time. He had another room to get to before getting into a car and going home. This wasn't going to be good, but was so necessary. Jay nodded as if to give the go ahead for everything to change. Will began the very daunting and lengthy task of disconnecting Jay from everything, beginning with the monitoring leads that were connected to the circles all over his upper half. Each time an alarm went off Will reassured it was just the fact things were being unplugged and all was right. Some minutes later, because for the moment all time elapses felt to be an eternity and time away from resting, Will signaled that they were ready to sit Jay up.
"Hold on a sec, let me get the blanket for the back. Hailey can you get him the heart pillow?" She nodded vigorously while reaching down to the end of the bed and snatching it up before turning back to Jay.
"Here," she offered before Will stepped back in.
"Oh, I'm sorry, you have to put it in his hands. He can't reach out right now." Feeling rather stupid, Hailey blushed from embarrassment as she gingerly placed the pillow in the middle of his two arms before draping each hand over a part of the pillow.
"Is that okay?"
"Perfect! Now, Jay, are you okay with her helping?"
"Yeah, it's fine," he replied, not fully aware what he was approving but really didn't care. He was so feeling the early signs of pain kicking in so he just wanted to get this done.
"Alright, Hailey take this part of the blanket and…yup…totally cover his back. He's not covered at all so it's this or being fully exposed."
"Ah, got it. We'll keep it all covered." Jay thanked them with a quick nod.
"Now, don't just yank or squeeze, it's gentle presses and enough to get him upright. Jay, do not tense up. I know it's going to be very normal to want to activate the abdominal muscles but that will make this so much worse. Everyone ready?" Jay closed his eyes in dread as Hailey now nervously nodded. She felt to have a job way beyond her expertise and pay grade, but was more then willing to assist.
"1…2…3 and go."
"Ow, ow ow ow ow Will stop," Jay spoke the entire way from laying to sitting up.
"I know, sorry but we've gotta keep going." It was a very stiff, tense, awkward task. A task they never really saw having to do even a month ago, but soon Jay was up and sitting with the help of Will and Hailey to steady him.
"Don't forget you have the pillow to squeeze. It helps a lot. How are things?"
"So sore and dizzy," Jay painfully replied through closed eyes.
"Okay, so we're going to stay right here till things even out a little. You're doing awesome. I know it doesn't feel that way but you're doing amazing." As Hailey kept her gentle yet supportive side hug on Jay, Will motioned for the two waiting people outside to come in with their gurney.
"Will I can't get over there," Jay desperately spoke as he realized what was coming next. Once the gurney stopped a nurse pulled two syringes out of her pocket and began attaching them to IV ports and plunging the mystery liquid into his veins.
"Just pain meds, Jay. You can do it. We'll both be right there to help. It'll be super quick." They waited till the room wasn't completely spinning and the pain drugs had kicked in to scoot Jay closer to the edge of the bed. The entire time Jay kept his head down and arms glued to the heart pillow. Moaning to himself over what was coming next as things got set up for the single swoop from one bed to the next.
"Don't worry, everything is covered. Ready?" There was never a time at this point where Jay was going to be fully prepared and excited for what was coming next. His still very severed and destroyed muscles wanted to actually scream over what was being done to them. As feet touched ground for the first time in days, Jay hissed and maybe cursed over the tightness and shooting pain that came with standing up. Once the blanket was verified to still be covering his back did Will and Hailey hold him in this weird hug and the three man group took that first step.
"You're doing awesome, Jay. Just like three more steps." The steps were more like shuffles, each slower then the last and more painful and dizzying then the last, but Jay made it. He sighed a massive relief as Will told him that they'd made it and he could relax for a second, once again the weird group hug supporting him as he caught his breath and energy. A single decline onto a mystery pillow before another blanket was draped over him. He'd done it, he'd made it to another bed. The reward was the allowance to close his eyes as he felt everything move around him. The farewell to the ICU room was uneventful and brief before they all moved down the hallway and to the elevator.
"You did so well," Will congratulated on the elevator ride down, which Jay could only grunt his thanks, which had Hailey giggling and brushing a hand on Jay's arm. Once the doors opened the pace picked up. New voices greeted the pack of people before the handoff from ICU nurses to cardiac ward people took over. Someone said something about a room number but Jay was really going in and out now. He does not recall getting into the room for the first time, has zero memory of Will and Hailey putting things down and all allowing Jay the couple moments to rest up before they had to do everything all over again. It was just as stiff and uncomfortable as the first time, but about a minute later Jay was laying down in his new bed, now a resident of the cardiac surgical ward. He went limp and tired as things were reattached and yet another hospital band was put on his wrist, totally out of it as the last IV line was put back in place.
"Ugh, dammit. Work needs me," Hailey reluctantly whispered.
"Go, we'll be fine. Visitation is easier down here so you can always stop by later."
"Yeah, let's hope I can at a decent hour." The two of them stopped what they were doing to look back at Jay who snorted for the first time ever in his sleep, doing their best to silence the oncoming laughs.
"I've got to go," Hailey spoke once again. Will walked her to the door and allowed her to exit first. She did another glance back at Jay before heading out.
"If you guys need anything just let me know."
"Of course." He waited till she was out of sight to venture back in, slowly sliding the door before doing a once over of Jay.
"You have no idea how lucky you are," Will spoke about everything as he squeezed Jay's hand. Jay replied with another half snort in his sleep.
…
"Jay, hey Jay. Dude come on you have to wake up." The very small amount of 'exercise' he experienced earlier was really taking a toll on his person. His chest was so sore, that was the big thing that stood out. But his whole body ached and was drained of any kind of energy. As much as Will was wanting him to wake up, Jay was that headstrong in trying to sleep. Will kept at it two, three more times before Jay finally succumbed to his demands, very slowly opening his eyes to a whole new world.
"What."
"Hailey is going to be here in a few minutes and I think it would be nice if you were awake for it." For starters, this room was so much bigger then the ICU room. There was a full bathroom, another bed for Will, and then tons of space for all the medical machines and wirings and IV stands that Jay currently needed. This room was not entirely glass, only two of the walls that looked out onto the floor. The wall behind Jay and then the one with the bathroom was a standard wall, creating some sense of privacy and normalcy while residing in a hospital room. The lighting was much stronger in this one, but one could feel that small sense of relaxation in here. While certainly the stories housed in these rooms was quite adventuresome, they all were to the point of being well enough to share those tales.
"I'm dying for a shower," Jay blurted out as he blinked himself awake, the blinks harder and longer then before so as to truly wake himself up.
"Well sorry, but that can't happened as long as the drainage tubes and pacing wires are in. Oh, would you be up for changing clothes?"
"How can we do that with all of this?" Jay did his best to point to himself, Will sighing in sympathy as he replied.
"We could try, just not zip the hoodie up. But at least you'd have pants on and longer sleeves. You did pack bigger hoodies, right?"
"I'm pretty sure I did." Will turned around to opening Jay's bag and begin rummaging, tossing clothes that didn't meet the criteria out onto the floor, soon coating all around him with clothes.
"Ah ha," Will declared when he found what he was looking for. It wasn't bulky or tight but was all black and would be easy to put on. It would have to do for right now.
"Okay, so how do you want to do this?"
"Make sure the door is locked."
"And close the curtain," Will included. Jay nodded as he watched Will spin around and complete the two tasks, soon turning the lights up even more before pulling sheets down to Jay's feet.
"I swear I will not look, but we can't put any kind of underwear on as long as you have the catheter."
"Yeah, I'm trying to forget that part."
"Oh stop, it's all really necessary right now." Starting at the feet, Will took off the circulation boots before undoing the catheter line and lining it up with a leg before putting left and right feet in their correct holes.
"I swear I'm not looking."
"Will, I don't care. Last I checked we both had one."
"Yeah, but what's yours is yours and I don't think you want to know that other people have seen it."
"Will you're family, I don't care." This was definitely a new side of Jay. Prior to all this he would've never, ever said that, in fact made things difficult by saying he'd do it all himself. But I guess when one is immobile and been through surgery hell stuff like privacy becomes not that big of a deal. But despite all of this Will made a point of not looking, pulling the loose joggers as far up as he could before Jay would have to assist.
"Okay, I need you to use your legs and heels and lift up just a little bit. A small bit, Jay." He was so clueless on how do accomplish this, so Will had to help get Jay into the position that he wanted before moving a hand to the small of Jay's back and telling him to pull up on that spot."
"OW! Fuck Will that hurts," Jay cried out as he did as was told, very much regretting it as his body fell back onto the bed.
"Sorry, it's done. Pants are totally on." There was a quick reattachment of all things from the lower half, Will apologizing for causing the discomfort before readying Jay for the top half.
"Alright now, I'll sit you up and then throw this on your arms and pull. All you have to do is sit there and let me do it. I'll go quick." Jay could only nod, still feeling the results of the last couple minutes, the whole day really. Will secured the heart pillow in his arms once again before counting to three and very slowly pulling Jay up. His whole body was shaking in exhaustion and pain, but Jay didn't say anything, just clung to his pillow and breathed through closed eyes. In a minute Will had the hoodie on his body and sleeves pulled back to where they weren't covering IV ports.
"It's done, I'm all done. We're going back down," Will spoke as a knock came on the door.
"Will? You guys have a visitor," came in from the other side. They didn't need a name, knew it was the eagerly awaited for Hailey.
"Hang on a second," Will called back.
"You look so much better and dare we say normal?"
"Okay, awesome. Thanks. Hailey is waiting," Jay said back. As Will pulled blankets back up Jay did his best to collect himself, trying his very best to stop the shivering as the pillow remained in his arms. Will offered to take it away but Jay shooed him off, saying it was the perfect source of help for the pain right then. Another scan, more reattaching to everything, and soon was taking a step back towards the door to let Hailey in.
"Guess what we just did," he greeted with, stepping aside to allow her to see the just about clothed Jay, who looked over and greeted her with a, 'Will tortured me but I'm dressed,' response. It was so him in a sea of pain, Hailey could've cried if she wanted to.
"Oh my gosh you looks so much better! I mean, not that you didn't before, but more like yourself."
"Thanks. I see you brought food." Hailey looked down at the bag of food in hand, a little surprised he picked that up.
"Yeah, are you okay with us eating?"
"That's fine. I'm still on a liquid diet."
"Which speaking of, do you need anything?" Jay shook his head, adjusting on his pillows a bit as Will and Hailey each took a seat on the couch. It was so nice to finally have this moment with all three of them. All of them awake and able to talk and be on the other side of this thing. They weren't to the point of all eating together, but Hailey would gladly take what they had right now.
"So, now a little over two days post-op are you happy it's all done?"
"The pain isn't fun but yeah, it's nice to not wake up with the very first thought pertaining to an upcoming surgery."
"What do you remember from that day?"
"I remember all of the pre-op stuff. Getting into the OR is a little fuzzy but the last thing I remember is falling asleep. Next thing was waking up with the breathing tube still in which, for anyones info, is not fun."
"Oh I'm sure. Just thinking about it makes me scared. So how are things looking?" This was a Will question, a question he'd have to answer between bites.
"Good, great actually. I think we're on pace for the drainage tubes to come out tomorrow and the pacing wires sometime right before discharge. But the best news is that the murmur is totally gone."
"Really?" Hailey perked up at that, eyes wide and face that of delight.
"Yup. Once the issue is fixed the correction is very immediate."
"That's kind of amazing. And I guess that also means that that was the only issue."
"That is very correct. He just has to recover from this and then have things checked, obviously. But otherwise he's very much in the clear and should make a full recovery."
"So this was all worth it."
"Definitely."
"So how's work been," Jay asked, trying to turn things away from him and to anything else.
"Oh man, it's only gotten crazier since you left. We added another case, a K&R case. It's been insane. We've all been living the sleeping/working life the last few days. Honestly I don't know how we all haven't snapped or just fallen asleep."
"Is that where you're going after dinner?" Hailey nodded.
"Yeah, unfortunately. But we all miss you and are dreading these next six weeks. Hopefully it's just six weeks."
"That all hinges on how much rest and recovery he allows and then how quickly the breastbone heals. Honestly that's the thing this all is riding on. So long as it's not a hundred percent refused then he won't be doing any working."
"Hey, I've been resting a lot so far."
"That's very true, but we all know in a couple more days when you've come around a little more you're not going to want to stay in bed."
"This is true."
"Ugh, I was hoping this would've given you a change of heart on things."
"Wow, hilarious. You should be a comedian." That one made Hailey snort with laughter as Jay sighed in the spike of pain.
"Button, Jay," Will pointed out, the two of them so in sync that just by looks alone he knew what Jay needed.
"I already did and it's not helping."
"Okay, I'll go get help." Will put the takeout container on his seat as he got up, hurriedly walking to the nurse's station and leaving Jay and Hailey alone for a moment.
"Scale of one to ten."
"Seven."
"Ouch, I'm sorry."
"Don't be it's all part of it." Will returned with a nurse who held the vial of a manageable life. She was talking about Rhodes coming to check on things in a little bit as the syringe's contents were put into Jay's system. Whatever this one was was a new medication, making Jay instantly groggy and all the world to be fuzzy.
"What was that," he asked once the nurse was out of the room?
"Morphine. Your levels are increasing a little too much."
"What?"
"Don't freakout, it's more then likely from the move and then getting dressed. Rhodes has already been informed and that's why he's coming I'm sure everything is fine, Jay. Just relax and let the drugs work." Hailey took the word of an impending Rhodes as a sign that it was time to pack up. As Will was adjusting pillows and tucking Jay in essentially, she was busy tossing their trash and readying herself to depart the brothers.
"You don't have to go, Hailey. You can stay while Connor's here."
"No, it's fine. I'm really needed back at work and I don't want to keep Jay up." Her statement was a little unnecessary since Jay was already out cold. Will wanted to press her again but suddenly figured out why she was up and leaving. She couldn't stand the thought of something being wrong with Jay. She didn't want to lose him, especially right now and after finally getting to truly see him after surgery. So whether it was a legitimate concern or nothing at all, she didn't want to endure the grief in waiting to find out.
"He's going to be fine," Will comforted as the two of them walked to the elevator.
"I know, I just have to get going." The elevator doors rolled open, Hailey jumping on before Will could pull her back.
"Let me know what's going on," was her final comment of the day. As Will stepped back and watched the elevator fall down to the first floor, it dawned on Will the overarching reason for her reaction. She was in love with him and didn't want to see him slip away.
Ta-da! Another one done. This one wasn't too chaotic and exciting, but then again that's kind of how recovery goes. Next chapter we'll see Jay a littler further down the recovery road. Stay tuned. Thanks for reading!