Don't Say Goodbye
Derek waited for the plane so he could board. He was at a loss for words, leaving her had to be the hardest thing he'd ever done. Seeing that look in her eyes, having to say goodbye, the thought of missing perhaps months of her pregnancy was eating him alive. He'd never felt so torn, ever. He'd been apart from Casey for years, why was it so damn hard now? He read through her texts, just trying to keep his sanity in check as he thought back to the last week, after the week of her crying and breaking apart, just thinking of the last few days was tormenting him. And he closed his eyes as he listened to the music, it was a miracle he was able to leave, he reluctantly admitted a part of him stayed behind with her.
One Week Earlier
When Derek got up the next day, the house was extremely quiet. He had passed out on the couch but woke up to a blanket around him. His head was pounding, the stress of the upcoming days had finally caught up to him. As he groaned and stretched, Casey poked her head from the kitchen and lively said, "Hey sleeping beauty is up," she teased and she came from around the corner with his favourite breakfast: Eggs Benedict and Sausage and a tall glass of orange juice.
"Um, is it my birthday?" He asked with surprise, rubbing his eyes from just how weird the situation was.
She laughed, "No, not even a little. Just, wanted to do something nice for you, " she sat down beside him. "You have been on the ice for days, and then you ha to deal with me, so this is just a little treat. Eat up," she clapped with enthusiasm.
Was Casey abducted by aliens? What was up with the sudden sweetness? Sensing his confusion, she poked his rib, "I'm feeling better, and the hormones have taken a rain check thank goodness."
He laughed and ate , all the while she was sitting there smiling at him, and he couldn't help but smile back at her, "This is surprisingly good, hats off to the chef."
Casey beamed, "Thanks but this isn't all I've got planned for you," she said with subtle mystery.
He choked on his food, sputtering with surprise. "What?"
Casey lured him with a mischievous smile, "I think it would be better if it was a surprise," she taunted.
The thought of her planning something for him was too intriguing, "No, no surprises. Tell me please, after all the tears and yelling, you at least owe me one."
Casey was fidgeting excitedly, her eyes blazing as if she was a happy elf. "You are getting a hockey send off this weekend. Sam is hosting it we have booked up a place for it, but I called him up and told him, 'Sam, Derek is going off to play and I can't believe no one's making more of a deal of it. What do you say to a party, we can invite his friends, siblings, who ever wants to come and just give him a true Venturi send off?' He was very enthusiastic about it. "
Derek dropped his plate from the shock, and immediately scrambled to pick up the mess he made, and she reached down to help, their hands touched momentarily. He was completely taken off guard, "Let me get that," she ordered, she smiled as he sat there and stared at her. "What do you think?"
He felt like a complete moron , looking completely at loss for words, and after a moment he croaked, "A party? You, the girl who was rarely at a college party, you are planning one for me? Why?"
Casey's smile fizzled out, and for a moment a look of pain went over her face, but she quickly shook it away, "You deserve it, please accept it. I mean you are going to be on TV, you're basically a celebrity now, if that's not the time to throw a party, then when is?"
She looked so excited and he couldn't help but smile. How could he ever say no to her? "Sounds like fun, uh, thanks Case."
Casey looked absolutely delighted, "I haven't even told you the best part, I won't be there," she added as if it was a bonus, "I would ruin the party if I got a surge of those crazy hormones and I rather not have one of my famous meltdowns, I want the night to be about you."
Any excitement was immediately torn away from him, he shook his head adamantly , "Case, you clearly don't know my friends even if you had a meltdown, it wouldn't come close to some of the stuff that goes down when they get drunk. Just come for a little bit, you planned it. I get it could become crazy with all the drinking and I wouldn't want you there to see that mess, but please come for a little bit."
Casey's smile faded, and she chewed her bottom lip anxiously, "I'll be a spoil-sport though," she said adorably.
He didn't care, he needed her there. It seemed necessary. "I'm sure you will be, but I want you there. And plus I want my kid there too, he or she can't come if you aren't there, please."
Casey gave in with a hefty sight, "Fine but only because you're insisting, but you can't say you weren't warned, okay?"
He had some warning alright, but it didn't seem to matter, if there was going to be a huge send off then she needed to be there. He reluctantly admitted that she was becoming important, more than ever. "Cool, can't wait it's been awhile since I've partied out."
Casey clapped her hands with excitement, "Question for you, is there anything you want to do before you leave?"
Derek could think of many things all at once, all of them involving Casey in his arms, of having her close, of kissing her, being able to have another night with her. Turns out there was a lot he wanted to do and it was hard to stop that crazy train, specially when she was looking at him with brazen admiration. She would be mortified of the thoughts going through his head.
So he just thought of something innocent, "I want to have a video game tournament with you, I know you're going to be intense and annoyed with me the entire time, but I just want to have fun with you."
Casey smiled, "Are you sure you don't want to just go on a getaway or on an adventure?"
No way, he was going to be on months time of getaway, that's the last thing he wanted, he just wanted to spend time with her, "Nah, honestly I've been exhausted I kind of want to take it easy, just don't worry so much about that, if I want something, I'll ask."
Casey then gave him a little wink, "You better, alright now go get that bedhead sorted out, we have a lot do," and she got up taking his dishes with him. He stared after her with complete shock.
The next day they went to set up for the party. Casey spent the majority of her time with Robin as they put up bright posters all over the club they rented out. A club, she had managed to to annoy the living daylights out of the owner to let her use it in such short notice, but Casey was on fire. That man was no match for her insistence. It was a challenge to keep from looking at her. She was laughing, walking around with a checklist so long it was comical. He tried to keep himself busy, whenever he tried to do anything, she would glare at him, and snap at Sam to do it.
"Case, I can't just stand here and lord over you guys while you're setting up," he tried to say at one point, "Give me something to do."
Casey looked determined, giving him an intense look. "Okay if you want to do something, just put on some music and relax, we've got this. Come on, you've been training for this level of laziness you're entire life, go, rest," she ordered.
He tried to argue but she stared him down, until he just grinned and sighed an okay. She didn't say anything else just marched past him, intent on getting the next task done.
To his surprise the family showed up. George grinned widely, "We got an urgent call from Casey to come and help, she didn't give us much option, you know how she is. Nora and I will help set up, but we're past the giant party phase. We just wanted to show our support for the cause. We are all so proud of you,"
Nora giggled, "Yeah we wouldn't want to embarrass you."
Derek smiled, "I wouldn't mind you guys being here if you want to be," his attention went to Lizzie, Edwin and Marty who were smiling at him. It was odd going through a whole day with everyone smiling at him, it was a little strange, no lie.
Marty frowned angrily, "Nora and dad say I can't stay for the party, but Edwin and Lizzie can, it's not fair!"
He reached for her, giving her a big hug."I promise, before I leave you and I will have our own party, alright?"
Edwin rolled his eyes, "It's not like we're allowed to stay long either, we aren't allowed to drink. We're just here for the big send off, and then we're gone too. Oh and Derek, I wouldn't mind getting to know some college babes," he smirked.
Lizzie scoffed, "Like they would ever give you the time of day, " and she glanced at Derek with admiration, "We're so proud of you Derek, we had to come."
Derek thanked them for coming, and then Casey came up from behind. "Finally you guys arrive, there's a lot to do, put the sentimental family moments on hold. We have five hours until people show up, quick go see Robin she has tasks for everyone," she said urgently.
Edwin laughed, and gave Derek a surprised look, "Who made her the queen of this party?"
Derek smirked at Casey, "You know how Casey is, no one ever makes her queen, she appoints herself. But if I were you Ed I'd get moving, she means business," he couldn't help but smile as Casey blushed slightly, and gave him a little eye roll. And then she gave the family that look, and they all scampered off, clearly Casey was in no mood for jokes.
Casey gave him a little apologetic smile, "Sorry it's just," she looked down with embarrassment, "Tonight needs to be perfect."
He moved in and put his arm around her, "Okay but don't drive yourself mad, alright. There is no such thing as perfect, and I don't want you going insane over it. Can't you tell how happy I am?"
She assessed him for a moment, "Not happy enough, now if you excuse me, I have some banners to put up, don't touch a thing Derek, I mean it." How could he not be happy? She was literally planning the party of the year in under two days. It frazzled him.
He hung out with Edwin for a bit and tried to keep his fixation on Casey to a minimum, but it was difficult when she looked so beautiful and fierce. Casey was so hot when she was in organization mode, it was hard to believe there was a time where he was annoyed by her, but now he couldn't even pretend to be annoyed. She did look much better, no tears, no stress, she was laughing it up with Robin, and that just made him smile.
Casey took the role of hostess seriously and bossed Sam around for most of the day and at one-point Sam came to him, looking frantic. "Save me, she's driving me insane!"
Derek laughed and handed him a beer, "You were the idiot that accepted, now you must suffer the consequences," he meant to sound annoyed for Sam, instead it came out sounded like he was happy over her extreme need to make his party perfect.
Casey was sorting through some cups and she looked up at him and waved. He sauntered over to her, "Poor Sam, you're killing him with your control freak nature, I guess some people are not as immune as I am," he grinned and she fumbled with an apology and he laughed, "It's kind of funny seeing him running around like a headless chicken, it's good entertainment. I'm impressed by everything you accomplished in such a short time."
Her eyes waltzed with sweetness, "So you like it so far? I was worried the Venturi Rules banners were a little too much."
It was over the top, there were banners, crazy lights, everything was Maple Leaf themed, but this was typical Casey. "What are you talking about, I love it, why would it bother me to have people know how great I am?"
She smiled with relief, and then she snapped back into action. As much as he loved everything she was doing for him, all he wanted was to spend time with her. But he couldn't just follow her around like a sick puppy, so he just settled for watching the adorableness of Casey setting the club on fire.
Casey couldn't stop moving, it was as if she was in intense adrenaline rush. Perfection was always something she strived for, and now it had hit the roof. Keeping busy was helpful in distracting herself from spending every second by Derek. She watched him as he hung out with Sam, or spent time with Edwin, he looked happy, it was distracting seeing him look so charming and he was smiling so much, it made her heart burst.
Robin came by her, noticed as she tried to be discreet over staring at him. "You're really swinging for the fences for him aren't you?" She gave her a little wink.
She blushed a little, "I just did what you suggested, you were right he deserves to have no stress, nothing to get him down."
She glanced at Casey and made a little sound of disbelief as Derek looked over at her with a dashing smile. "My goodness, well he seems absolutely thankful, the way he's looking at you is so…."
Casey snapped, "Stop it," but she felt a crimson blush take over her, "He's just in a smiley mood," she reasoned.
"Yeah but he's not smiling at anyone else that way, I mean he's got a killer charm there's no denying that, but the smile he gets on his face when he looks at you is absolutely nerve wracking, no wonder you got pregnant," she whispered with a giggle.
Casey's heart stopped in her chest, and elbowed her to get her to stop making such remarks. She lunged herself at anything to distract herself from that intense feeling in her stomach. As people started to arrived, she quickly became overwhelmed. Large crowds always made her anxious, so she tried to relax. She was amazed by the people that showed up, Kendra, Ralph, and others from high school, college friends, old coworkers, and some of his teammates. They made a bee line for Derek, giving him high fives. Kendra gave him a big hug, which he awkwardly accepted. And then suddenly they were overrun, there were so many people there. Derek would go to her often, discreetly asking if she felt okay, and she would wave him away. Honestly she felt extreme fatigue, but she couldn't let that get her down. She watched as other women surrounded him, shoving their phone numbers in his hand, giving him flirty looks, and well he was just lapping it up, unsurprisingly. She tried to look away, she spoke to Lizzie, caught up with other people, but the sight of him being worshipped by all these women was enough to sour her mood.
Robin noticed and handed her a glass of water, "Casey, even though he's surrounded by women, he still keeps looking at you, relax okay. Unfortunately that kind of popularity comes with the job, relax sweetie."
Casey just scoffed with denial. "I don't care how popular he is, he's always had the attention of women for as long as I've known him, it's just irritating. Do they not have any dignity just falling over a guy like that?"
As if Derek heard her from across the room, he broke free from the crowd and went to her. "Save me," he joked, "I never thought I'd say this, but there is such thing as too much attention," and just like that he was able to get her to melt, make that jealousy subside. After that, it felt like he loomed close by her.
About an hour later, Sam gave Derek a farewell speech. Casey suddenly felt it, that emotional pressure gathering behind her eyes as she watched him laugh, and give everyone a simple thank you for coming. And then he looked at her, and raised his glass in her direction and gave her a personal thank you. Their eyes locked for a moment, it was as if they were the only people in the room. Oh Derek, I'm going to miss you. She took steady breaths as everyone there started cheering for him.
She looked down for one moment, trying to get her breathing control when suddenly Derek came beside her and tucked her close to his side and whispered into her ear, "Those hormones are back, I can tell. Let me drive you home."
She looked up at him alertly, how did he know? Was it so obvious that she was just barely holding on? "No, you can't leave your own party, I can call a cab, please Derek," she was close to bursting out in tears.
Robin was right beside her, "It's okay Derek I can take her home if you want."
Derek ignored her, "Case, everyone will be okay for 20 minutes, don't sweat it. Take this as a thank you, alright?" He didn't give her a chance to respond, and he went to tell Sam he'd be right back.
Casey chased away a tumbling tear, "I can't believe I ruined this," she turned to Robin with exasperation.
Robin hugged her, "Hey, you didn't. He just clearly knows you too well, and well, he's being a sweetheart," as she pulled back she smiled fondly, "I'm starting to understand why you are so confused."
Oh, I'm more confused than ever.
Derek moved past the crowd of people calling for him and made his way back to Casey. He wasn't able to stop himself, the moment he saw that look of sadness go over her face, he knew it was time for her to go home. She looked furious with him as he pulled her arm without another word. When they got to the car she burst out into tears, "Why don't you ever listen to me? I could have gone on my own. See this is what I was worried about ruining your night."
He reached for her hand and tugged her close. Why was it becoming second nature to touch her? "Case. This was an amazing night; you didn't ruin anything. I just want to thank you for what you did for me, come on, it's common courtesy. Trust me my friends won't even notice I'm gone, I swear I'll drop you off and go right back."
Casey wiped at her eyes, and took deep breaths. "Okay, but a promise is a promise, you cannot be away for too long."
"What tipped it off?"
Casey looked away abashedly, "Um I don't know, I guess the hormones like to come and go as they please, I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing, it's not like you can control it," he opened the door for her, and she got in without another word.
Casey was quiet for most of the drive, but then he felt her studying him, "So, I saw you were chased around by a lot of women, see anybody that caught your eye?" She was trying to sound casual, but there was a tinge of accusation.
He laughed, "Nope, not interested in shallow one night stands anymore," he answered honestly but then quickly found himself saying, " And no, I'm not calling our night together shallow." He refused to look at her but he could see her smiling brightly from the corner of his eye. His heart raced brutally as the silence drew out, crap he may have revealed too much with that statement.
When they got home, he walked her into the house, still pulling her by the hand and took her straight to her room, "Goodnight Case, thank you."
Casey smiled shyly. "It was fun to plan it, now please go this instant unless you want me to burst into tears again, go enjoy your night," and she didn't wait for him to answer, just shut the door.
Derek stood there for a moment, reeling. He wanted to stay with her so badly, and reluctantly went back to the party. While he did have fun, it was not the same. He used to love drinking and having a good time, but it felt so dull now. All he wanted was to go home and spend time with Casey, it was alarming how dull everything felt without her around. And just like that, the party days seemed over for him, his life was just so different now, and he was never gladder for change. It was the best send off, not just because he was leaving, but it was as if he was saying goodbye to his past.
The last few days , Casey was just too sweet to handle. She baked him cookies, every morning she would send him off to the rink with a killer breakfast, and in the evenings, she would play video games with him. He expected her to be competitive, but she was so easygoing which was so unusual. Casey hated losing, but she seemed almost glad whenever he won. They talked about a lot, but also nothing. The worst part was the constant smiling, the way she looked at him. It was all too amazing, and he hated it, it made leaving feel so much worse. He dreaded the night because that meant there were suddenly only a few days left, and then just like that, it came down to their last day.
He went out for breakfast with the entire family that morning, and it was nice but that morning Casey had been particularly quiet. Not that he could blame her, he didn't know what to say either.
Casey came in to his room to help him pack, "You left everything to the last possible moment," she said with a little smile, "No worries, I can help I love packing."
Derek sat there on the bed, his mind was in turmoil. "Yeah that's just how I roll," it was supposed to be a joke but he couldn't even pretend he was excited.
He took his sweet time packing, they were both silent as they folded stuff and put it in his suitcase. He was worried if he looked at her too long, he would just snap and pull her down on the bed , toss all his stuff on the floor and kiss her senseless. Afterward the day raced by, literally it was the fastest day of his life.
There was sadness in the air, but she was clearly so set on making everything smooth and nice between them, but now it was his turn to feel sad. He didn't want to leave. He moped around the house, dragging his feet, complaining, made sarcastic jokes around her. He swore everytime he looked at his watch and another hour had gone away. Anytime Casey was around him, he took in that moment trying to savour it, any look any smile, anything he kept greedily trying to be in her presence as much as possible. They ate dinner together in pure silence, but the chaotic surge could be felt.
Then just like that, time was up. They waited for the shuttle in the living room quietly. He wanted time to stand still, just for time to god damn stop, just for a moment to breathe.
Casey hid herself in the washroom, just trying to breathe and control the tears. It had come down to this, him finally leaving. It felt like she was being ripped apart. He was supposed to come back in three weeks time, it wasn't that long a time in reality, but it already felt like years. She put her entire soul into turning his week around, and he seemed happy but today he'd been snippy a few times. She knew he was dealing with his own emotions the only way he could. She put on a brave face, it was time to say goodbye and very slowly released a shaky breath. She went back to the living room, he was waiting by the window, looking out with a bitter expression. She slowly approached him and leaned into him. Derek slowly looked down at her, he looked so sad and she couldn't think of anything to say. They stayed like that for a long time just staring at each other.
"You can call me anytime," he said gravely, "Like, if anything goes on where you need me, please don't play the guilt game, let me know. I want to get updates of the baby, okay?"
Casey swallowed painfully, "Okay, um at least I get to see you on TV, it's better than nothing."
Derek didn't say anything, just kept looking at her with those sad, brown eyes. She took a deep breath, trying to get the courage to ask. "Der?"
"Yes?" He answered quietly.
Casey looked away with embarrassment, feeling hot all over, "Don't you want a good luck hug?"
Derek sighed, but when she looked up, he was smiling, "I guess a lucky hug wouldn't hurt."
Casey reached for him, and he wrapped his arms around her in a stronghold. Being in his arms felt like nothing else in the world. She was moments away from crying and begging him to stay. What happened to her? Why couldn't she control herself? She closed her eyes, letting her hands gently glide up and down his back, he was so tense but the moment she caressed him, he relaxed. She felt him sink into the hug, and he buried his face into her neck. He gently moved her hair out of the way, it was as if he didn't want anything in the way. It was deeply intimate, she could feel his breath against her neck, his mouth rested against her skin, causing a shiver to emanate through her. She clung on to him tightly and for some reason he wasn't pulling away. They stayed that way, suffused together. Nothing had ever felt so wonderful yet devastating at the same time. His body was so warm, and could hear his heartbeat rattling and beating in overdrive. She felt regret, she could have hugged him all day had it not been for her stupid shyness. She felt safe with him, and the contact was causing the emotional well to rise within her.
Then they heard the horn of the shuttle, interrupting the perfection of the hug. As he pulled back, he took a hold of one of her locks, he touched that thread, twirling it around his finger and then tucked it behind her ear. The small touch on her ear was electric, he looked completely lost in the moment. His eyes were as dark as night, more beautiful than the stars outside. God, just kiss me, please, she pled silently, but he didn't hear her. As he let go of her and stepped back a bit, he looked down as a tremor went over him.
"Would it be okay if I said goodbye to the baby?" His voice was hoarse.
Casey nodded, feeling close to bursting into tears, so he led her to the chair by the window and got her to sit down. Derek kneeled in front of her, and it was so surreal, she couldn't seem to form a thought together as he gently placed his hands on her bump.
His touch was so soft, "Hey buddy, I know you've gotten used to my constant jokes. Don't worry, I'll be back soon okay? Please, take it easy on your mom. I'm quite impressed with your crazy kicks, but maybe you can practice to your heart's content when you're out of there. Trust me , you don't want to annoy her, I know I make it look easy to handle but it takes some real practice to survive her."
Casey laughed, and he looked up at her. His eyes were boring into her, looking as volatile as dynamite. He smiled sweetly, and she just couldn't think. Her hand came down, playing with his hair so softly, gently threading her fingers through it. He was taken back, but he let her, still looking up with that inscrutable gaze. His hands suddenly moved in slow, circular motions, adding more gentle pressure. He was no longer touching her for the baby's sake, those caresses felt different. His touch was more deliberate, tantalizing, as if he was trying to comfort her. They were both touching each other, and it seemed necessary. But it quickly became so hard to breathe, she wanted to lower and kiss him. Stop looking at me like that, Der, oh I will wilt. She stopped the hair playing and averted her gaze, feeling embarrassed. She was getting emotional; her hand went up to wipe away a couple tears.
"Sorry," she whispered.
He turned his attention back to her bump, completely going over her apology. "I'll try to win for you. I love you," he said those words in a hush tone, but there was no mistaking what he said.
Although she was certain he was talking to the baby, she felt those words all through her. Her baby was so lucky to have Derek's love, and she instantly felt jealous that she'd never hear those words. As if the baby felt the rattling in her heart, it kicked, and Derek just laughed. "Guess you're going to be a rebel like me," and he slowly stood up, eyeing her softly as he helped her up. "You heard me, I tried," he teased.
"Thanks for trying," she said tightly. "You should go, you don't want to be late."
Derek nodded slowly, "I'll call you," he offered as if that could even begin to console her, she was so close to melting into a puddle of sadness.
"Let me know the moment you get to Manitoba, please," she begged.
Casey walked with him all the way to the car, going over in her head how much things had changed in such a short amount. The driver got out and took his luggage.
All she wanted was to leap in his arms and kiss him goodbye, but all she could manage was to reach out for his arm. She wanted to say so much, but all she could say, was "Don't be an idiot, be safe please," she murmured.
"No promises, but I'll try," he took a deep breath, " I guess I'll miss you, it'll be weird not seeing your daily crazy keener moments."
Casey's heart flipped. "Aw, Der," she said tightly, "I'll miss you too, specially your sarcastic wit, but at least I will be able to at least see you on TV." It wouldn't be the same, not even a little. He was staring at her, and she thought maybe she'd said to much, but he smiled gently.
"Bye Case," he said her name so softly and then he opened the car door, gave her a little wave and went inside. She watched with despair as the car left her view, and that's when tears rolled down, trickling merciless. She reached around her neck, softly touching the locket.
Why did it feel like her heart was cracking in half?
"Come back soon."
Derek put on an earbud, letting the pounding of the music drown out his thoughts. That was much harder than he ever imagined. He closed his eyes, lingering to the memory of her hug, of her sweet smile, the sadness she displayed. What was up with the constant emotionally charged moments? He needed this season to go by quick, he knew it would drive him mad to leave her for so long. It was only three weeks, but for the next few months the potential of being away from her more than being around was consuming him.
He felt sickness in the pit of his stomach as he thought back to everything they'd gone through in the past few months. He felt nausea take over as he recalled saying "I love you" to the baby and how it made him feel like he was zapped, those words were too big too intimate, and there was no denying he loved that baby already. But those words made him so uneasy, specially when he was moments away from taking Casey in his arms and kissing her. He couldn't love her, but those words went through him in crazy waves. Was it possible his feelings had been on a high so excruciating for months, that now denying he felt anything for her was ridiculous?
He didn't love her. All he wanted was to make her happy, to take care of her, wanted to make sure she was smiling, make sure she had everything she needed. He cared about her, but love? So, what if he wanted to kiss her, wanted to spend the night with her again, wanted to hold her, wanted her with such intensity it freaked him out? It wasn't love, whatever it was had nothing to do with love, but he couldn't deny he wanted her. And now he was going to be away, for god knows how long. What if Vincent tried to get to her? A vicious jolt of jealousy consumed him. He wanted to scream, go back that instant and kiss her. He got jolted out of his thoughts as his phone buzzed.
She texted him and immediately sat up alertly.
I can tell he or she misses you already, the kicking has subsided by a lot. It is much quieter without you…I'm so proud of you, Der, I'll be cheering for you cheerleader style, pom poms and all. I'm sure you're laughing at the thought this very moment. Have a safe flight.
Derek groaned inwardly, there was nothing laugh worthy about that.
I would have paid good money to see that. Please, take it easy though, last thing we need is for you to fall. But the thought of you with pompoms is funny, and well it's sweet of you to be so supportive. Goodnight, Case.
It's the least I could do, you've supported my dreams, every single insane one. Night Der.
Derek stared at her text for a while, thinking of the past two weeks, that hug, those large blue eyes tearing up as he left her. All his thoughts were consumed with Casey's face, her smile, how beautiful she looked tonight, and he groaned loudly.
Fuck, I can't take this anymore. He lost the battle. He just needed to go back, needed just one kiss. He wasn't sure if she'd even accept, but he needed to try or he'd go crazy. Just one kiss, and he wouldn't ask for it again, ever, unless she asked for it, but he needed it. He found himself saying, "Sir, I'm so sorry but can you go back? I forgot something….it's quite important."
Casey stood aimlessly in the living room, staring at the wall for what seemed like hours. The house was too dark, too lonely, and she was crying like a baby. Everything stopped as she heard the door open, her heart stopped as she saw Derek standing there. She furiously wiped away her tears so he didn't see how emotional she was, but he made no comment, nothing to point out that he noticed it, and she ran to him, feeling frantic by his stony silence.
"Der? Are you okay? Did you forget something?" Her heart was pounding, he was quiet and ominous almost, and slowly came closer. That dark, impassioned look in his eyes set her heart on fire and without another word, he pulled her in against him, one arm came around her back surging her into him, giving her no chance to run away this time. His eyes skimmed over her face, and he stared at her mouth for a few seconds, in a trance and she mimicked him, staring at back with the same mute longing.
"Yes, I forgot something…." his voice was like pure silk, soft and luxurious. He reached down, and traced her mouth with a slow, gentle stroke that left her completely breathless. "Could I have a lucky kiss? " The words stopped her heart instantly, she must have looked shocked, "I wouldn't ask if it wasn't so dire. My game depends on it, it's a sports superstition. Just one kiss, please, " he disoriented her with his soft plead.
Casey felt like she had strayed into a dream. She reached for his face, softly touching it to verify it was him and not a hallucination. He was real, and he was looking at her with pure longing. You came back to kiss me, you came back….. Even though he claimed it was for his playing, it seemed like the only way to bring himself to ask for what they both had wanted for months: a kiss. It was a clever way to get it, to not put more thought into overthinking what the kiss meant, to not make a kiss so complicated. Sometimes there didn't have to be a reason, it was just a kiss for good luck, as far as they knew, but it felt necessary.
Casey moved in, and slowly linked her arms around his neck, the feel of him against her was heavenly, she trembled helplessly but she would not run away this time. This could be all she ever got with him, and the misery of that flooded her, she needed this just as much. "Well, if it's for your game, then it is dire. I've been told in the past my kisses are extremely lucky. I don't want you to lose," she murmured softly.
Derek's smile blitzed every thought she had, and he sighed with relief. His hand went up to her face and grazed her cheek tenderly. Her skin absorbed his touch greedily. She wanted to tattoo the feeling unto her skin. His face moved in closer, while his other hand slowly went down her back, skimming the small of her back, and gently pushed her into him. And without missing another moment he gently took a hold of her chin and titled her face up. His mouth sealed hers with perfect gentleness as if she was a delicate flower he was worried of crumpling. He kissed her with soft, but passionate kisses that infused her with warmth. He wasn't rushing this, simply taking his time teasing her lips her with absolute wickedness. She sighed softly, and melted into it, surrendering any reservations. She responded with the same unhurried tender kisses, I'm going to miss you, those kisses became words. The kiss seemed to grow like a rolling wave, slow at first, restless to gain momentum in intensity. It wasn't a kiss of fire, rather a kiss of longing mixed with unbearable sadness. One tear escaped her eye, and she prayed he wouldn't notice, but he gently wiped it away. She froze but he coaxed her, gently nibbled her lower lip gently, and as she parted her lips, he took the opportunity to take more.
The wave roared suddenly, as he gave her soul scorching, open kisses that dismantled her, made her shiver. Oh, god, you are passion incarnate. His hands moved up to her hair and gently tugged as he tilted her head back more, to kiss her deeper, as if he was inhaling her very breath into him. His hands went to her neck, teasing the sides of her throat with heady strokes, as he consumed her, and she was helpless, she gave and took everything with desperation, gripping his hair tightly. She was lost, this kiss was so different than the first time, so emotionally charged, so perplexingly beautiful. His arms came around her, pulling her in tightly, and she felt her heart would burst from the frantic throbbing of her body responding to him, the way his hands touched her, how he kept pulling her into him, searing her with the feel of his body. How his hands move down over her back with increased urgency. The kiss became heavy, intricate, seductive and heart gripping. He was intoxicating, the taste of him, the deliciousness of his mouth throttled her entire being. She was trembling, and she sighed his name with torturous delight. She felt him smile against her mouth, and it melted her heart, what was left of it. And then the horn blared outside, making her want to weep. No stay, please stay, don't leave me Derek. Her hands seized his hips keeping him close to her, and she kissed him ardently, trying to make the moment last.
He pulled back slowly, murmuring softly, "Damn." His brown eyes were laced with flecks of ember, of intense flame. She whimpered with agitation, and he gave her one more fiery kiss that melted all thoughts, and then ripped himself away from her, breathing heavily. "That felt lucky," he said darkly, his voice touched her rattled nerves.
She slowly dropped her arms away, and felt so unsteady, and immediately devastated. He asked for one kiss, and it was over. "Thanks," she muttered, and looked down to hide her flaming face. She couldn't help but ask. "Will this be an every game tradition?"
Derek grinned like a dark angel, he took a moment to regain his breathing. "Well it depends, if I suck at any point, I may need another dose of that," he winked, "Luck doesn't run forever." and pulled back in slow degrees, the moment his body was separated from hers, she felt cold.
Casey's heart lurched, god he was sexy, and she found herself saying, "I'm competitive, I want you to win so you can count on it if you need it."
Derek smiled, his eyes sparkled, she had just given him an open invitation to kiss her whenever he wanted. People kissed all the time without it having any meaning, but as they stared at each other, the truth settled over her. This kiss was not like any other kiss, it was one of a kind, too precious to be thought of as a casual experience. They once again got swept up in the moment, and while it was clear he didn't regret it, it confirmed to her all her lingering doubts. Kissing Derek Venturi was more than just a physical action, as much as she told herself it was just a kiss, she knew it was lie. His kisses contained spell like qualities, in a completely different level on it's own that had the potential of making her lose her mind, losing everything.
As if he read her mind, he seemed to understand how messy this could make their situation and slowly looked away from her with resignation, she knew he wouldn't ask again, the spell of the moment seemed to diminish, and now everything was clear once more. There was no denying they had chemistry, that they both enjoyed that kiss, and it would be a struggle not to want it again. But she could never be the type to kiss him without feeling anything, it was impossible.
He looked at her at last, with intense sadness. " I really should go, at this point my driver is going to find a random ditch to throw me in." She wasn't surprised he was using humour to cover up the intensity, "Um I'll call you, good night Case, and um thanks for the luck," he smiled and she held back the tears.
Casey managed to nod, and without another word he turned away, and she just stared after him. That kiss would be the strength she needed to be apart from him, but it would definitely kill her not to do it again. Maybe Robin was right, their relationship wasn't just physical attraction. Obviously she cared about him, but she was scared to hope, scared to think of more, and scared at the thought that they were going in circles around their chemistry. And for all she knew, he just enjoyed kissing her as he would with any other girl, it didn't mean he felt anything for her.
Did she want more? As she replayed the kiss, it was simple, yes, and it's scaring me.
Hi, I hope this part was worth the wait :) This chapter was a surprise even to me, originally I wasn't going to have a kiss in there but then somehow as I wrote, it just seemed necessary, I couldn't hold back. I don't think I'll ever be a slow burn writer, but that's okay. Derek and Casey took over, they wanted to kiss, so I let them. Please let me know how you are feeling so far! I will be starting school again soon, so my posts might be slower, so it felt important to start the year this way. Happy New Year !