Sozin could feel the probing looks of the few guards in the halls, he presumed his cheek really did look as bad as it hurt. But he still kept a straight face, refusing to look down. He shot a furious look to one of them, the man immedietly looking at the floor, being quickly followed by the others.
He didn't need this, he didn't want their pity, or their sympathy, or anything from them for the matter. He felt humiliated, being striked by his father with such intensity that it was most likely going to bruise. He knew that even if only a few people had witnessed the incident, the word was going to travel fast around the palace. He grimaced as he thought about the maids gossiping about it in the kitchen. "Have you seen how badly the Fire Lord had hit his son today? If I were him I would not be able to leave my room." "Oh, poor thing. He must be shocked." Would they feel sorry for him? Would they laugh at him? Either way, he wasn't going to let their opinion about him change. He was going to seem unphased, like this had never even happened. And if everyone else refused to act that way, he would make them. He wasn't a little boy who would cry because his daddy had scolded him.
When he finally arrived, he slammed the door of his room behind his back, the loud sound reverberating in the room. His anger, that was replaced with shock for a brief amount of time, had returned with full force, he wanted to punch and break things, or set them on fire.
He walked up and down in his rooms with angry strides, catching a glimpse of his face distorted with anger, in the mirror. He took a deep breath as he braced himself for what he would see on his reflection, and finally turning to face the mirror completely.
It was bad. And it was definitely going to bruise. He took a step closer to the mirror, turning to his left and pulling at his cheek slightly to examine the damage better. The skin was pink and sensitive, still hot under his fingertips, it had peeled off just a tiny bit, exposing the second layer of skin underneath. He could see the print of his father's long and bony fingers, making it impossible to disguise it as just an accidental mark. It was clearly a handprint.
Damn it! He punched the mirror in a moment of haze caused by his blinding fury, the glass shattering and cutting his hand in the process. A single drop of blood fell on the pieces of shattered glass on the dark hardwood floor of his room.
It made him feel better, taking out his anger on something. And with the mirror shattered, he didn't have to see the reminder of his humiliation every moment of the day, before it would eventually disappear. With feeling slightly calmer, he was able to feel the pain in his hand. He looked down at it, inspecting the cut, luckily for him, it wasn't deep, though it wouldn't hurt to get it treated, he could do without it. On the other hand, applying ice to his cheek would probably for the best, since it would reduce the redness and the pain. But he would rather die than going and asking help from someone because of both the mark his father caused, and the wound that was self-inflicted. No, he couldn't live with that humiliation, so just made his way to the bathroom to hold his bloody hand in the small water bowl, the blood surfacing and clouding the once clear water. And once he decided that it wasn't bleeding anymore, he just wrapped it haphazardly with a piece of cloth he found around, to prevent a possible infection. And for his cheek, well, there wasn't anything he could do except for just letting it be.
He was startled by an unexpected knock at the door. Whoever it was, he didn't want to deal with them. "What do you want?!" He asked in an aggrevated voice.
"Prince Sozin, may I come in?" Came the hesitant voice of a maid behind the door.
"No!" He yelled, he wasn't sure if she was one of the people present during the incident or if she had been told about it by anyone, but if not, he didn't want to see the shock on her face that would soon enough give way to pity. "Say whatever you want to say and go!"
There was a moment of silence before the woman tried to find the right words to speak. "Your friend is waiting in the garden, Your Highness, for you."
Fuck. He had completely forgotten that he had told Roku he would be back in a minute. He couldn't let Roku see him like this, he had already been too vulnerable with him. "Send him away." He called out.
"But…" The maid trailed off as she hesitated. "But what do you want me to say to him?"
"I don't care!" The Prince shouted. "Whatever the fuck you want! That I am busy, would be the most obvious answer, wouldn't it? What, are you stupid enough to not think of that?!"
"I- I am s-sorry, my Prince." The woman spoke with a trembling voice, the sound of her rushing footsteps reaching to Sozin, before they disappeared into the hallway.
He sighed, not knowing for how long he could avoid seeing Roku. Acting as nothing had happened in front of the servants and the guards was one thing, since they would already know but couldn't dare to say anything, but staring Roku straight in the eye and pretending like it wasn't his own father that had left that handprint on his cheek was something entirely different. Maybe he could tell him, through a servant, that he had extensive training and a lot of classes to compensate for the time he had lost in the last week. He didn't want to lie to him, but what choice did he have?
As he looked outside the towering windows, he noticed that sun had already started to set, he would have to join his father for dinner soon, just the thought of having to face him and everyone else made him shudder. But he had to, else the people would think him weak, ashamed to show his face after the Fire Lord had hit him.
He was walking towards the closet to put on something less casual when he heard a knock on the door once more. If it was that stupid maid again… "I thought I was very clear the first time!" He yelled behind the door.
"Forgive me for disturbing you, Prince Sozin." A woman's voice answered back, a different one this time, he noted. "I brought your food."
"My… food?" Sozin asked, not able to hide the confused tone of his voice.
"Yes, Your Highness. Your father…" He heard her taking a deep breath. "Your father wishes not to see you at dinner tonight."
He felt both relief and anger rush through him at the same hand. He was relieved because he didn't have to face his father and feel the weird looks of everyone on him, but also angry, because his father had humiliated him even more by not wanting his son to eat with him, as if what he had already done wasn't enough.
"Fine, enter." He ordered as he pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to recollect his thoughts. He didn't turn to look at her as she entered the room with a silver tray in her hands, though he heard the involuntary gasp that escaped her lips. He turned quickly, ready to snap at her, until he realized that the cause of her shock was the pieces of shattered glass on the ground.
"Should I… Should I send someone to clean that up, my Prince?" She asked quietly.
"Leave it for now." He waved a hand towards her general direction. "And you can put the tray on the table there."
She nodded as she complied, then stopping and turning towards him, but keeping her gaze fixed on the ground. "I also brought some ice." Her voice became quieter as she continued. "It will reduce the redness and help with the pain…"
He turned to face her, his brows furrowed and jaw clenched. "Take your ice, and get the hell out of here!" He didn't need anyone's sympathy, he was fine. He was pleased to see that the pitying look on her face had quickly turned to dread.
"I… I am sorry, Prince Sozin. I didn't mean to be disrespectful." Her voice trembled in fear as she spoke. "I—I just wanted to help…."
"I don't need help!" He yelled, taking a step towards her. "Not yours, not anyone else's!"
"O-Of course, my Prince…" Her lip trembled. "Please forgive me…"
He took a deep breath, deep down knowing that he was being unreasonably harsh to her, despite his blinding anger. "Just leave…" He sighed, sounding resigned. He didn't look at her as she kindly bowed and walked out of the door with quick steps.
The next day went as he expected. Sitting at the same table as his father at breakfast, feeling the looks of the servants when they thought he didn't see them, the smug and content look on his foolish teacher 's face when he saw the clear mark of a handprint on Sozin's cheek… How did he want to wipe that stupid grin off his face… The only thing good about that day was that he had managed to avoid Roku, ordering one of the servants to tell him he was busy.
The next day he wasn't so lucky… He had just sent a servant to send Roku away, feeling bad for practically chasing his friend off, as he heard yet another knock on the door.
"What?" He called out, exasperated.
"Your friend is at the door with me and wants to see you." She said in a quiet voice. "I am sorry, Your Highness, I told him you were busy and weren't able to see anyone, but…" She trailed off.
"Why do all of you have to be so bad at your job!?" He snapped. Incompetent fools. "Nevermind, I don't want to know." He sighed, he couldn't bother with her right now, he had bigger problems. "I am sorry, Roku, but I have a busy schedule this week, just royal stuff, you know." He lied, forcing his voice to come out calmer.
"Okay, but can't you take a little break?" His friend asked with a suspicious tone. "You are clearly not doing anything right now. Just let me come in for a minute."
"No, I am-" He looked around to find something he could use as an excuse to justify not letting him in. "I am, uh… doing homework." Worst excuse ever, you fucking genius.
"So?" He asked, confused. "Sozin what's going on? I am coming in." Sozin heard some shuffling outside, hearing the panicked voice of the maid, who knew she would face the Prince's wrath later, telling Roku to not enter the room. But despite her protests, the door opened with a creak, giving Sozin just enough time to turn his back, facing away from it.
He heard the sound of Roku's footsteps, and another creak as he closed the door behind his back.
"What's happening?" He asked, his voice soft but still demanding an answer.
"Nothing! I told you, I have things to do."
"I am not an idiot, Sozin, don't treat me like one." Roku sighed. "You just disappeared, ditching me two days in a row. I know that you have responsibilities as the crown prince, but I also know you. You would've come to say to me that you are busy, personally. Not send some servants to do it. And now you are just standing pointlessly here, claiming you are busy."
He took a deep breath. His friend did know him very well. It was one of the only times in his life that he was at a loss of words, he had completely blanked out, unable to think of a lie to get him out of this situation. He cursed himself for not having his hair down, maybe it would've hidden his cheek. "Sorry." He muttered simply, not making any other explanation.
For the first time since he had entered the room, Roku noticed that his friend hadn't faced him at all. "Sozin?" He asked quietly. "Look at me."
The Prince's body tensed up, but he refused to make any move to turn his face towards Roku. He felt Roku's hand in his arm, and didn't fight it when he turned him around to face him.
A small gasp came out of Roku's lips, his eyes widening, Sozin keeping his gaze on his friend, he wasn't going to turn his face away in shame. "What happened… ?" Roku asked with a barely audible voice, there was no denying that the mark looked like a hand.
"What do you think?!" He was slightly irritated. "Are you happy now?" He felt naked, standing in front of him, he wanted to cover up his cheek with his hand.
"No, of course I am not happy!" He replied, staying silent for a moment. "Did your father do that to you?" He finally asked in a soft voice.
Sozin neither confirmed nor denied that, Roku taking that as a yes. "I am so sorry, Sozin."
"Don't be. It's fine. I don't need pity."
"What?! I am not pitying you." He was shocked at his friend's way of thinking. "Is that actually what you think? That people pity you because your father hit you?!"
Sozin cringed a bit at hearing the last sentence, but managed to keep a straight face, not responding.
"Sozin… Feeling bad for someone and wanting to help them is not pity." He reached out and held his arm. "And getting help from someone else is not a bad thing either. It is not something to be ashamed of, and it doesn't make you weak." He stopped for a second. "You didn't even do anything to treat it, did you?"
"It's not necessary. It's not that bad." And it was the truth. He had way more painful training accidents, the thing that hurt him more was the humiliation that came with it.
"Maybe… But what if it was worse? Would you really just sit there in pain instead of swallowing your pride?"
"Yes, I would! Okay?!" He snapped, why did Roku have to keep pushing him? "That is how I was raised, Roku! I am sorry I didn't have a family who kissed away my pain as a child, everytime I got hurt! But guess what? It made me stronger, and I don't plan on starting to be weak right now!" Add a fight with his best friend to everything that was currently fucked up in his life. He broke free of Roku's grasp, walking towards the bed and sitting on it. He'd already had too many moments of weakness in the last week, he didn't need another one.
Roku hesitated about what to say. He knew they were raised in different ways. For all his life, Sozin was trained to become the Fire Lord someday, strong and resilient. It would be suprising if all that pressure hadn't warped his way of thinking.
"It's not weakness, Sozin." He said quietly and walked up to the bed, sitting next to him. "You need to learn when you should get help."
Deep down, Sozin knew his friend was right. His pride had gotten into the way of accepting the genuine help of a maid, made him yell at her, and it had made him lie to his best friend, snap at him for sincerely trying to be nice. But still, he didn't like admitting that even to himself. So he just continued to stare at his lap with empty eyes.
"Why did you keep avoiding me?" Roku asked after a minute or two. "You know I would never laugh at you for something like this, or 'pity' you, as you are worried that I would."
"I know." And he actually did, Roku was a great friend that sometimes he felt like he didn't deserve his friendship. He wasn't even being honest with him for fuck's sake. Roku deserved better. "I… I was ashamed." He admitted finally, feeling like he at least owed honesty to him.
"Ashamed?! Sozin, for what?" He was incredulous. "If there is someone who needs to be ashamed, it's not you, it's him for doing this to you." He put a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder.
It was all he had felt for the last two days. Shame, humiliation, anger. Hearing this from someone had actually made him feel a bit relieved, even though he didn't know if his friend had really meant it, or just tried to comfort him. No, Roku wouldn't lie. He was always sincere. Just more reasons as to why you don't deserve him. Why he will leave as soon as he will realize that. Why hadn't he even left yet? "Thank you, Roku." He looked at his friend and tried to give him a smile. "And I am sorry, for snapping at you."
"It's okay." He spoke softly. "I will always be there for you. Now, you can tell me everything that happened, if it's going to make you feel better."
Notes: This was quite a long chapter, at least for my standards. I just want to thank every single person who read my story, and even deeming it worthy to follow and add to their favorites. Thank you all! I would love to see your reviews and opinions!