AN: Trigger warnings to many things are present in this story. Don't like don't read.

I do not own Twilight.

I just like to play around in different worlds with them :)

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Bella clasped her hands behind her back as she meandered down the hallway away from the throne room with Demetri and Jane on either side of her. She could practically feel the excitement radiating off her two best friends as they moved in pace with her.

"Okay where are my wolves?" She asked.

Demetri smirked, "Caius made them a gift out in the back garden since you spend time out there with Didyme."

She frowned, "Do I even want to know?"

Jane laughed, "Leah thought it was hilarious."

"So, fill me in. What the hell happened after I passed out." She headed in the direction of the garden.

Jane frowned at the floor and fell silent. She glanced at Demetri, seeing the solemn look from the throne room back on his face. She stopped walking and watched as they continued to walk, not even noticing that she wasn't moving. She stood where she was until the two vampire's heads popped up and they looked back at her.

"Guys I'm alive. I'm going to be fine. I don't think Carlisle was in my room for nothing."

"He's been with you almost twenty-four seven since it happened," an angry blonde appeared in front of her, black eyes livid and ready to kill.

She wrapped her arms around Rosalie's waist, "I love you too."

She smiled as the blonde held her tightly, "Don't ever do that again Bella. My heart can't take it."

She pulled back and nodded as Emmett wrapped her in a bear hug before Felix took his tight hug, nearly breaking a few ribs. When she was done being passed around, Demetri and even Jane having a turn she shook her head and rubbed her sides.

"Okay. No more using the shield until I'm turned. I get it." She continued down the hallway as the others followed, "Now talk."

Rosalie spoke first, "Victoria ran all the way to the border as the pack chased her. Alice called them as soon as she had the vision, but you were already running in the hallway. Unfortunately, Jacob and his pack interfered when Leah almost had the woman and there was a bit of dog fight that Emmett and Jasper had to break up. She has the gift of evasion which we told Athenodora about on the plane."

She frowned as the worry over her pack hit her harder than she thought it should, "Are my wolves okay?"

Emmett nodded, "Yeah. Leah was royally pissed and went down and dirty against Jacob. Paul broke Jared's leg. Sam was trying to break them up when Quil and Embry double teamed him, but I was more surprised at Seth. He got scrappy and nailed Embry with a wicked headbutt, shattering Embry's ribs. It was awesome Bella Bear. You'll be proud of your pack."

"We'll see. What else?" She asked as they began to head down the long staircase.

Demetri grinned, "Aro had most of the guard waiting for us when we arrived and Corin nearly ripped Carlisle's head off. Claimed you were her patient and that it was his fault in the first place that you were in the condition you were in. Aro and Sulpicia met us as soon as we pulled up to the castle."

Felix grinned, "Man were they pissed. Athenodora was growling at them to stay away but when she saw the necklace you got Sulpicia she allowed her to touch you. It took a week before she would let Aro near you though." He laughed, "He went to your room with that 'Worlds Greatest Dad' mug and she finally caved."

"Suffice it to say it's very tense between the Cullen's and the Volturi right now." Jane muttered angrily.

She smiled as they exited the castle into the garden. She frowned as she saw the large hedge maze, seeing that half of it was missing. She picked up her pace as she slipped easily through the maze and froze as she stood at the edge of a large swimming pool. The wolves all turned and looked over at her, except Leah who was sitting on the grass under the shade of a large tree. Seth grinned at her and quickly punched his sister's arm before pointing at her.

Leah's eyes widened and she jumped to her feet and sprinted at her. She braced for impact as the she-wolf wrapped her strong arms around her waist and lifted her easily off her feet. She ignored the dizziness as the young woman spun her in a circle before setting her back down on her feet.

"How long have you been up?"

She smiled at her, "A while. I had to deal with the vamp-arents first. What's all this?" She motioned to the pool.

Paul grinned at her, "Didyme said you spent a lot of time out here, so she wanted to give you another way to work out but have fun too."

Seth chuckled, "And she was pissed at Caius for putting the doghouses back here and telling us to trample on her flowers."

She laughed, "You're kidding right?"

Sam shook his head, "Their over by your pond."

She hurried around the pool and headed to the far hidden corner and laughed at the sight of the dog houses, each with one of her packs name in black letters. She shook her head while continuing to smile. He may be a prick, but he was a one-of-a-kind prick with a heart.

She headed back to the pool and allowed Leah to pull her into a chair at the long rectangle table on the cobblestone path, "So where are your guys' rooms?"

Leah chuckled, "Mine's next to yours and Athenodora's."

Seth smirked as Demetri wrapped his arms around the boy, kissing the side of his head, "Mine's with my imprint."

She groaned and rubbed her eyes, "Go figure."

Sam chuckled, "I've been staying with the shifter pack in the city."

Paul shrugged, "I'm bouncing back and forth between the city and here. I mostly crash on your couch."

She chuckled, "Carlisle? He was in my room."

Demetri nodded, "Between him and Corin you've had around the clock watchers."

She grunted as her eyes landed on Jane. The girl hadn't said anything for a while and as she studied the girl's face, she could see the pain in her crimson eyes and wondered exactly why it was there. She opened the mind link with Jane as she leaned back and closed her eyes, stretching her legs out in front of her and crossing them at the ankles.

Penny for your thoughts.

Jane's voice was heavy even in her mind, I thought you would never wake up Bella. You scared the hell out of all of us and when that bitch got away… I thought we were going to lose both you and Athenodora.

She burst into laughter as she looked over at the blonde girl, I am mated to the Warrior Goddess. I will never go down without a fight Jane. My Athenodora knows that and so should you. Now tell me what the real problem is before I drag it out of your thoughts.

Jane glared at her before standing and jerking her up to her feet. She walked beside the blonde girl as Demetri fell into step on her other side. They entered the castle before she finally spoke, "I found my mate and I've been avoiding him."

She gripped the girl's arm, "Who is it?"

Demetri snorted, "Paul."

She closed her eyes trying to stop the laugh that wanted to desperately bubble up out of her, "Has he imprinted on you?"

Jane shook her head, "He hasn't even looked at me the entire time we've been around each other."

She glanced at Demetri, "Go get him."

Jane stared at her horrified as Demetri disappeared, "What if I'm not his imprint? What if-"

She covered the girl's mouth, "Trust me?" At Jane's nod she smiled and lowered her hand, "Good. I'll be in the garage if you need me."

She chuckled as she walked down the hallway, clasping her hands behind her back. Rosalie and Emmett appeared beside her, "We need to discuss your disappearance from Forks."

She nodded, "What's the story?"

They were silent until she entered the garage. Her eyes widened at the new additions in the far-left corner of the room. A small staircase led up to a metal catwalk. A large loft like area was decorated with sofa's and coffee tables, a large tv and even a bed behind a half wall so it was hidden from view. She saw the coffee pot on a folding table surrounded by creamers and sugar. A refrigerator sat against the wall near the folding table and when she opened it, she grinned at the amount of food that was packed into the machine.

"Wow." She muttered as she continued to look around.

Emmett grinned, "Aro said this was like your second bedroom so he upgraded it."

She nodded as she leaned on the railing, looking out over the vehicles that were parked below them. The vehicle she had been working on before she left still sat untouched where she left it and she smiled at it. She was grateful that Aro had kept it and hadn't touched it. She wanted it to be their project together and the warm sense of belonging filled her body at the thought that he wanted the same thing.

"Charlie never came to see you at the hospital." Rosalie said quietly as she leaned next to her.

"I figured as much," she shrugged at the blonde, ignoring her feelings on the matter, "He was never one for emotions and he likes to hold a grudge."

Rosalie nodded, "Jasper and Alice staged the accident. You were being transported to Seattle when the ambulance crashed."

She nodded in understanding. She wasn't quite sure how she felt about the fact that people in Forks thought she was dead. Jacob was the hardest to think about since she hadn't had a chance to make up with him before they left. She hated knowing that she would never see him again, but she also knew it was for the best. Let him grieve his loss and move on. She had her family now, the only family that mattered.

Although she didn't want to admit it, it still hurt knowing that Charlie didn't care enough to even visit her. He was her father and after everything she thought that would compel him enough. She could feel the anger swirling around her mind but the pain of knowing her father chose someone else over her was quickly beginning to take hold of her heart. While Charlie had made his stance clear she thought there would be a time when they could work it out but now that time was gone, and she would never get it back.

She felt the tear slide down her face and she quickly turned away from them, "I'm gonna work for a while."

She ignored the look of pain on the blondes face as she hurried down the stairs and set to work on the Rolls-Royce. She wanted her mind to empty, to let everything go and not focus on any of it but this was one point that it wasn't going to work. She could feel the anger and pain trying to collide, constricting her chest painfully. He had so willingly turned on her without getting her side of the story.

Without understanding why it was so dangerous for her to ever tell him. The fact that even she shouldn't know and that it had been an accident that she found out. Or about how they had saved her life so many times. No, he only cared about Sue and the stories she told him. Stories that even Sue herself didn't know the full truth of.

She felt the rage burst as she spun from the car and threw the wrench in her hand as hard as she could at the wall. She grabbed everything she could find, hammers, wrenches, and even the smaller of the toolboxes. She used every muscle she had to launch the heavy box across the space to crash into the wall with a loud bang before it fell and scattered tools everywhere.

Her body shook as the tears flowed finally. Everything she had been keeping in burst from her. The rejection of her mate sent her head reeling as her heart felt like it exploded in her chest. Charlie turning on her so easily because he didn't understand the need for her to keep him safe. Her supposed friends at school not caring about her one way or another. The only thing they cared about was whether or not she was dating Edward.

Her best friend of all people, not only crushing on her, but turning on her because he wouldn't make up his own mind about her family. Instead, he chose to follow the orders of the council even after she had proof that the stories, they told were just that, stories. Passed from generation to generation with things getting twisted for the benefit of the council.

She lost everything she had ever known in less than a year and had held her grief in. She couldn't stop the pain that squeezed her heart, choking off the sob that had worked its way up her throat. Her grief was the only thing standing in her way of healing, of beginning to forgive those that hurt her but also forgiving herself.

Because yes, she blamed herself for everything that was happening. She blamed herself for the van coming for her and not having the time to move. She blamed herself for pushing so hard to uncover the secrets of vampires. She blamed herself for wanting to get close to the vampire family and for being in that clearing the day James had come. She blamed herself for believing in the lies that Edward told her and the lie the James had given her to get her to go to the ballet studio.

Everything was her fault, alienating her school friends and her father. Even everything with James, she blamed herself for. She had pushed him, every moment she could have just screamed and begged. She didn't because she was too stubborn to admit that that was something, she couldn't get herself out of. Something that she couldn't just let go and pretend it didn't happen. She realized that James had been right.

She was just like him.

He had made it a point to prove to her that they held things inside until it was a mass of emotions ready to burst at any given opportunity and when it did everyone it's path would be hurt in the process.

She held in everything she had ever felt about Charlie. The anger that he didn't fight for her at all. The anger at Renee for making her grow up too fast and never really having a childhood, always having to be the one to take care of everything. She never asked them for anything and just once she wished that they had thought about her before themselves.

She felt the guilt cascading through her. She had no right to be angry over the things she couldn't control, the things that she didn't even know were happening at the time. She felt guilty for leaving them like that when in reality they didn't think twice about her when they made a choice, like Renee leaving Charlie.

The tears fell harder as she rebelled against the guilt. Why should she feel guilty when she knew without a shadow of a doubt that they wouldn't have done anything different than what she had? She spun towards the car behind her and slammed her fist into the metal frame, over and over. Willing the pain to make her stop feeling. Willing the pain to hide the guilt.

Begging the emotional pain to go away.

How could she live with the knowledge that her father would only be relieved that she was gone, and he didn't have to deal with her anymore? How could she live with the knowledge that her best friend hated her because of the person she was destined to be with?

How could she live with the knowledge that she didn't care?

After all that's what it all boiled down to. She didn't care about them and hadn't for an awfully long time. The only thing she cared about was her new family, the Cullen's and Volturi alike. Athenodora was the most important entity in her life, to ever be important to her.

Guilt was making her it's bitch and she welcomed it.

She turned her back to the car as she slid down to the floor, letting the guilt wash over her. All this time she had struggled with why she didn't argue with Renee, not fighting back no matter how much Renee flaked on her over the years. She struggled with the lack of caring about what Charlie thought of her, the lack of seeing him for years on end. She struggled with why it had taken her a while to remember Jacob and the fact that he, at one point growing up, had been her sunshine during the times that Renee and Charlie would fight.

Was this what James had meant?

James had felt the guilt for killing his family. He felt the guilt for all the sick things he had done over the years and that meeting in the clearing was his way out. Guilt guided him and guilt guided her.

She knew James had wanted to die that day in the ballet studio and so she didn't scream. She didn't give him what he wanted, the pleasure of torture that would have had him running on a high and able to escape. She had given him a way out of this never-ending guilt-ridden life. He told her he saw it in her eyes, she would be the atonement that he had been looking for. The peace had searched hundreds of years for but deep down he needed her pain to explain why he was going to let it happen.

She was like him in certain ways, but she was also vastly different than him.

She wanted to beat the guilt. She wanted to own up to her mistakes and not make them again. She wanted to be happy where James had given up on that long ago. She needed to understand that the guilt is what made her stronger, made her want to push forward. She had so much guilt for leading the Cullen's into that inevitable fight with James. She had the guilt for believing James' lies and now she could forgive herself.

She could forgive herself for being an idiot and believing James. She could forgive James for what he did to her and the part that she played in it. She could forgive the guilt she held on to for so long, in time. She knew it wouldn't be easy, but she would, and she would be stronger for it.

She closed her eyes and saw James's face smirking at her, the same he had that night, the face that had been holding her captive in her own mind. She focused on his features as the smirk faded and a small smile appeared on his face, the last time she had seen his face before Alice had ripped his head off. She saw the thank you in his eyes before Alice blocked her view. Slowly James' face disappeared, and she felt her mind relax.

Her entire body felt heavy as she struggled to open her eyes. A sense of calm entered her body, and she recognized the strange emotions, not feeling it coming from herself but from an outside force.

Jasper.

She knew it had to be the empath which meant Emmett must have alerted the others. She knew Rosalie would never leave her, not during an emotional outburst. Rosalie had told her of her own break down after she had been turned and killed the men that raped and killed her. She had been catatonic for days until she went hunting and found Emmett.

She couldn't help but fall deeper into the calming waves that Jasper was sending her. Her mind and soul were on fire with having just unleased everything all at once and she desperately wanted the peace of sleep, even if only for a little while. She could feel Athenodora close by and that was all it took for her to slip into the darkness of her empty dreams.