Until Nothing is Left

"War is what happens when language fails."

~ Margaret Atwood

.7

"So you used to be someone else…." Minato trails off uncertainty. He keeps looking at her like she'd grown a third head or something. Tsuyuko nods sagely, throwing herself backward to lay on their apartment floor. She covers her face with both of her arms.

"Yeah. I know that I used to be a doctor, that I liked the color green, but like I don't remember what my name was or how I died. It's weird. I remember other details but not those things." Tsuyuko guessed her subconscious held on to what had been important to her and let go of all the superficial stuff. Funny that a story from her first youth had been more important to her than her own name.

"It's probably a good thing you don't remember how you died before, are you sure you're okay? You could have told me before?" Tsuyuko loved Minato, he was such a kind soul. She didn't deserve him at all.

"I didn't know how. It's not something that there's like a guide for, no book that gives you the keys to play out the scenario. It's a little odd. In my old world reincarnation was just a religious theory, there was no proof it was real at all. Unlike here where we have magical ninja bullshit and anything is possible." She almost sounds bitter. Minato snorts at the description.

"That's fair. Past life or not you're still Tsuyuko to me. Just don't shut me out in the future okay, I thought you were upset with me." He admits scooting over to sit next to her.

"Sorry Mi-nee. I wasn't upset with you, just with myself I guess. Sensei says that he thinks I have some kind of PTSD over it…" He nods.

"Are you going to see psych about it? Can you even? What is Orochimaru-sama going to tell the Hokage?" Tsuyuko shrugs.

"Not yet. I don't think so, Himura thinks it may be a bad idea to let anyone access my subconscious, he doesn't think my pathways can handle the added stress. I'm not sure, he and the other sannin are thinking of something, the fact that I have some kind of foreknowledge as mute of a point as it may be now is dangerous information…." Uncertainty fills her tongue. She's not sure of anything at this point.

"What's going on with your pathways?"

At that Tsuyuko groans think of all the fucking test sensei made her do after she woke up from her nap.

"So much shit is wrong with them Mi-nee. So much shit. But now I know the culprit of my headaches… So I suppose that's a plus. Hey you wanna go get ramen? I don't feel like cooking." He rolls his eyes and helps her off the floor. They had a perfectly good couch she could sit on but she always just plopped on the ground.

"Sure."

…

Tsuyuko stared down at the young child that had been set in front of her. "What is this?" She asks looking up to see the bemused expression of the Hatake man. He was interesting for sure, he'd periodically been checking in on her since the incident. She didn't mind it persay.. But it was kind of annoying. Something about Sakumo's attitude towards her annoyed her. She couldn't play it just yet.

"This is a toddler Yu-chan, my son Kakashi." She narrows her eyes at him.

"Yes I understand that Sakumo-san, why did you set him in front of me while I'm eating lunch." He chuckles.

"I need you to watch him for a bit." Well then. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"I have hospital duties later today."

"I already cleared it with Senju, she cleared you for the rest of the afternoon." Then he left. Leaving poor baby Kakashi with her. Tsuyuko groaned. What a jerk.

"Well looks like you're stuck with me then Kakashi-kun. What do you want to do kid?"

"Training." The toddler supplies, he's probably three or four. Tsuyuko isn't too sure. She frowns, biting her lip as she thinks.

"Okay then."

When Sakumo returned a few hours later to retrieve his son from the interesting young kunoichi that belonged to Orochimaru he found her cuddling Kakashi in her lap while healing a cut on his hand. Her eyes were closed, hands wrapped around Kakashi's much smaller one. There was a bit of blood on her khaki skirt but she seemed not to mind. He tilted his head to watch, Kakashi looked at him after a moment. Finally noticing his presence.

"We accidentally broke a dish, Kakashi tried to help clean it up. I apologize for letting him get hurt." Tsuyuko doesn't open her eyes, doesn't let go of Kakashi's little hand as the green glow of medical ninjutsu subsides.

"Kakashi are you okay?" He asks his son nods solemnly which looks weird coming from his four year old but he didn't expect anything less.

"Then I suppose there isn't anything for you to apologize for Yu-chan. Accidents happen." At that she opens her eyes. There was an inscrutable amount of guilt resting in her gaze. Sakumo sighed.

"Kakashi go wait outside. I want to talk to Yu-chan for a moment." Kakashi nodded, Tsuyuko gave him a soft hug before letting him go. He scrambled out of her lap and headed to the door. He waved goodbye before disappearing out the door.

"You remind me a lot of my late wife." Although Sukumo supposed that might have been because his wife was Tsuyuko's mother… Information he had not shared with the child of course, it wasn't even information that the village knew.

Sakumo hadn't known his wife when she'd given birth to Tsuyuko. But he had listened to the story when she told it, she'd been young too young to have a child, only a child herself, she'd kept the pregnancy a secret and delivered Tsuyuko out of the village prematurely in the middle of winter. She brought the child back as a supposed orphan from an outskirt village that had been ravaged. His wife was barely thirteen then, a chunin in the middle of the first war, she made a decision and she had to live with it. Was it a choice that he agreed with… no.. they had fault about it when it finally came out in the open. But there was nothing he could do, Tsuyuko was already a genin at that point under the teachings of a sannin. Her orphan status had finally warranted her a parental figure, his hands were tied.

"Suyuri-sama, I think I met her once when I was younger. She used to visit the kids at the orphanage. She was a real nice lady." He wondered if she'd feel that way if he ever told her the truth.

"Yeah she was, kid. Thanks for looking after Kakashi today, looks like I know who I'll be picking the next time I have a mission." Tsuyuko stuck her tongue out at him.

"Yeah yeah, but make it an official request so I can at least get some D-rank credit." He snorted.

"We'll see kid, we'll see." Sakumo didn't know if he was ever going to tell her the truth about her mother. But he could at least make sure his son had a relationship with his older sister, even if they didn't know they were related.

Although he would probably have to tell Orochimaru that he knew how Tsuyuko broke into his office.

…

There was about a year of nothing really interesting happening. A lull between wars, cause Tsuyuko was still convinced the third one was going to happen at some point. The Sannin still hadn't made a move with her information even though they had all the proof from Jiraiya's trip to Ame. Which was fine, a war had just ended another may start soon, obviously bigger priorities. But they promised that they were still working on it, Orochimaru told her that they needed undeniable proof to go up against an opponent like Danzo and that they were just going to have to be patient.

Sakumo brough Kakashi around more which was fun, because the kid was an adorable little genius that Tsuyuko loved spending time with. But she didn't really like the strange looks the Hatake man would throw at her occasionally. She'd akind it pity but she couldn't figure out why and that bothered her more than anything.

Tsuyuko loved knowing why. Not knowing something made her skin crawl.

"Now you know how the rest of us feel." She snorted at Nawaki. He and Himura were visiting her for lunch while she worked shifts at the hospital. Tsuyuko split her time these times between training, some missions, and the hospital.

She waved Nawaki off as she watched Dan try and fail at his attempt to flirt with Tsunade from across the courtyard. "Mah she really doesn't like him does she…"

Tsuyuko didn't really like him either. He was nice, but arrogant and he treated her like a child and not the fully competent medic she was. Like the doctor she had been. Dan paled in comparison to the amount of training and experience Tsuyuko had but she tried to keep it on the downlow so only Tsunade knew the true extent of her medical knowledge.

In a year or two she could show off her superior skills with no issue but right now the sannin were still trying to keep her from exposing herself too much. She loved them so much.

"Tsuyuko what are you thinking about? You're making that face you make when you want to hug sensei.." She turns to smile at her teammates.

"Just how much I love sensei. I think I'll give him a hug next time I see him."

"I'm sure sensei is going to love that." Sarcasm she's sure but Tsuyuko just hums happily.

"I'm pretty sure sensei had desensitized himself by now."

"Probably."

"I could just hug you two instead if you keep being rude about it." She attempts to threaten but Nawaki grins and throws his arm around her shoulders. He side-hugs her, Himura shakes his head at their ridiculousness.

"Suyu if you had wanted a hug all you had to do was ask."

"Hey Tsuyuko breaks up!" She reluctantly gets up to leave her teammates.

"Coming Tsunade-sensei! Bye boys!"

…

Tsuyuko is eleven almost twelve when something finally happens. Shimura Danzo suffers a heart attack and dies. She is entirely unconvinced of the supposed natural causes, but the immense relief she feels when the news is announced is enough to bring her to her knees. Despite what should have been good news for her, she cannot help but feel as if something terrible is going to happen soon.

A month later they are forced into another theatre of war. A three tiered alliance from Kusa, Kumo, and Iwa are the cause of the war this time. Not some failed mission on Konaha's behalf, no blame on them this time. They did not knowingly instigate this war.

Danzo had, is what Orochimaru tells her in hushed conversation, and it had cost him his head. Tsuyuko wanted to vomit.

She hated war. War took, and took, and took, and didn't give back. It would keep taking until nothing was left.

Hyuga Himura is among the first couple of casualties.

XOXOX

I am so sorry….

~LaRae